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♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪
2
00:00:13,237 --> 00:00:15,195
♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
3
00:00:15,196 --> 00:00:16,675
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
4
00:00:16,806 --> 00:00:18,590
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
5
00:00:18,677 --> 00:00:19,809
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪
6
00:00:19,896 --> 00:00:21,679
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
7
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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
8
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♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪
9
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♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪
10
00:00:26,598 --> 00:00:28,600
♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
11
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,082
♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
12
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♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
13
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Betsy! Betsy! Guess what?
14
00:00:45,139 --> 00:00:47,009
My dad took me to the
Asian pop-up store.
15
00:00:47,010 --> 00:00:48,185
Look what I got.
16
00:00:48,272 --> 00:00:50,535
Serenity Labubu.
17
00:00:50,666 --> 00:00:52,755
- Oh, it's so cute!
- Isn't it?
18
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,234
I was at the Asian pop-up too.
19
00:00:54,235 --> 00:00:55,323
No way!
20
00:00:55,453 --> 00:00:56,802
Yeah, look what I got.
21
00:00:56,803 --> 00:00:58,499
The Loyalty Labubu!
22
00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:00,763
Oh, my God, it's so cute!
23
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,025
- I know, right?
- Yeah, I love it.
24
00:01:03,026 --> 00:01:04,985
Oh, dude, dude, check it out.
25
00:01:05,072 --> 00:01:06,073
It's about to happen again.
26
00:01:06,203 --> 00:01:07,508
Ah, shit.
27
00:01:07,509 --> 00:01:09,859
I actually have Loyalty Labubu already,
28
00:01:09,946 --> 00:01:11,294
and I have a little costume for it.
29
00:01:11,295 --> 00:01:13,515
That is seriously so cute.
30
00:01:13,645 --> 00:01:15,691
Kenny, you guys, girls with Labubus.
31
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It's about to happen again.
32
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,824
Come on!
33
00:01:18,825 --> 00:01:20,217
And then, believe it or not,
34
00:01:20,304 --> 00:01:22,872
I actually have Chestnut Cocoa Labubu.
35
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No way! That is the rarest one.
36
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Isn't it so cute?
37
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So thinking cute! But it's really rare.
38
00:01:29,748 --> 00:01:30,793
Are you sure it's not a knockoff?
39
00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:31,881
Oh, dog, here we go.
40
00:01:32,012 --> 00:01:33,534
Yeah, I checked.
41
00:01:33,535 --> 00:01:35,667
If anyone's fake, it's
probably yours, you fat bitch.
42
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- Suck it, skank!
- Eat shit!
43
00:01:37,495 --> 00:01:38,540
Stupid slut!
44
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Ahh!
45
00:01:43,632 --> 00:01:44,665
Yeah, yeah!
46
00:01:47,070 --> 00:01:48,593
- Yeah, yeah!
- Hey!
47
00:01:48,724 --> 00:01:50,986
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
break it up, break it up!
48
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She's rubbing everyone's
noses in her Labubus.
49
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Both of you to the
counselor's office, now!
50
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- She totally started it!
- I did not.
51
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Shut up. I did not.
52
00:02:00,562 --> 00:02:02,259
She came up to me at my
locker with her Labubu
53
00:02:02,346 --> 00:02:03,781
and started talking shit.
54
00:02:03,782 --> 00:02:06,829
You talk shit about my
Labubus every day, whore.
55
00:02:08,383 --> 00:02:09,734
Um...
56
00:02:09,745 --> 00:02:11,399
yea, love your enemies
57
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and pray for those who persecute you.
58
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Tell her to stop saying
my Labubus are knockoffs.
59
00:02:16,099 --> 00:02:19,494
I-I'm sorry, what is a Labubu?
60
00:02:19,581 --> 00:02:21,147
It's a little monster accessory.
61
00:02:21,148 --> 00:02:22,366
They come in blind boxes,
62
00:02:22,497 --> 00:02:23,933
so you never know which
one you're gonna get.
63
00:02:24,064 --> 00:02:25,369
Like, you could just luck out
64
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:27,327
and get a Time to Chill
Pajama Gold Labubu.
65
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Oh, my God, that one is so cute.
66
00:02:28,895 --> 00:02:31,113
It's so cute, right?
67
00:02:31,114 --> 00:02:32,593
Uh, all right, ladies,
68
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w-why don't you just give me the dolls
69
00:02:34,378 --> 00:02:35,944
until the end of the school day?
70
00:02:35,945 --> 00:02:37,381
That's not fair!
71
00:02:37,512 --> 00:02:38,730
Go on out to recess.
72
00:02:38,817 --> 00:02:40,602
You can pick up your
Labubus after school.
73
00:02:40,732 --> 00:02:43,386
Wow. What kind of counseling was that?
74
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I don't know, Jesus sucks, dude.
75
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,738
Our old counselor was so much better.
76
00:02:59,838 --> 00:03:01,187
Yeah, yeah, yeah, get
some more over there.
77
00:03:01,188 --> 00:03:02,797
This side's starting to fall.
78
00:03:02,798 --> 00:03:04,146
We are the kings of the castle!
79
00:03:04,147 --> 00:03:05,540
Let us in!
80
00:03:05,627 --> 00:03:06,976
Hey, Butters.
81
00:03:07,107 --> 00:03:10,110
Oh, well, uh, hey, Red.
82
00:03:10,197 --> 00:03:12,634
Um, I was just wondering
83
00:03:12,764 --> 00:03:14,157
what you're doing this weekend.
84
00:03:17,987 --> 00:03:19,205
Who, me?
85
00:03:19,206 --> 00:03:20,641
Yeah.
86
00:03:20,642 --> 00:03:22,469
Um, I'm having a birthday
party at my house,
87
00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:26,604
and I was seeing if maybe
you'd want to come hang out?
88
00:03:28,693 --> 00:03:30,433
You're talking about me?
89
00:03:30,434 --> 00:03:32,392
Yeah, I don't know,
it's probably stupid.
90
00:03:32,393 --> 00:03:34,134
I shouldn't have asked. Never mind.
91
00:03:34,264 --> 00:03:35,961
No, no, I'd love to
come hang out with you
92
00:03:35,962 --> 00:03:37,005
on your birthday, Red.
93
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Really? You would?
94
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Well, sure!
95
00:03:39,008 --> 00:03:40,443
Okay, that's great.
96
00:03:40,444 --> 00:03:41,879
I'll text you all the details.
97
00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:43,751
Okay, Red, I'll see you there.
98
00:03:43,752 --> 00:03:45,362
Okay, and um,
99
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maybe I'll text you my
birthday wishlist, too,
100
00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:48,844
in case, you know, you
want to get me a present.
101
00:03:48,975 --> 00:03:50,715
Sure thing!
102
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Oh, my God, you guys,
103
00:03:55,590 --> 00:03:57,417
Red wants to hang out with me!
104
00:03:57,418 --> 00:03:59,332
That's incredible!
105
00:03:59,333 --> 00:04:01,074
Bro, it seems like she really likes you.
106
00:04:03,337 --> 00:04:05,730
"Really excited to see you Saturday."
107
00:04:05,817 --> 00:04:07,036
Whoa.
108
00:04:07,167 --> 00:04:09,169
- Me and Red.
- Lucky.
109
00:04:10,648 --> 00:04:14,260
"Here is my birthday gift wishlist."
110
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"This exact Labubu."
111
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Holy shit, you guys,
you know what I think?
112
00:04:25,881 --> 00:04:28,230
I think on Saturday I'm gonna
find out if red-haired girls
113
00:04:28,231 --> 00:04:29,492
have a red bush!
114
00:04:29,493 --> 00:04:31,104
- Wow!
- Wow!
115
00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:34,715
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
116
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Welcome to City Asian Pop-Up Store.
117
00:04:44,291 --> 00:04:46,727
Can I take a order, please?
118
00:04:46,728 --> 00:04:49,557
Wait, didn't this place
used to be City Wok?
119
00:04:49,687 --> 00:04:51,733
Yeah, but whole country change.
120
00:04:51,744 --> 00:04:52,745
Didn't you hear the news?
121
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Wok is dead.
122
00:04:54,388 --> 00:04:56,999
This City Pop-Up now.
What do you like to have?
123
00:04:57,010 --> 00:04:58,401
We got City Pop-up key chains,
124
00:04:58,522 --> 00:04:59,915
City cell phone charm,
125
00:05:00,046 --> 00:05:01,656
City anime sculpture.
126
00:05:01,743 --> 00:05:03,961
Well, actually, I'm
looking for a Labubu.
127
00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:06,302
Ah, yeah, everyone love Labubu.
128
00:05:06,313 --> 00:05:07,965
They real hard to keep in stock.
129
00:05:07,966 --> 00:05:10,142
Very expensive 'cause of tariffs.
130
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,796
You know, uh, it's really important.
131
00:05:11,927 --> 00:05:13,233
I got this new girlfriend,
132
00:05:13,244 --> 00:05:15,551
and she wants this specific
Labubu for her birthday.
133
00:05:15,744 --> 00:05:17,745
Oh, that very rare Labubu.
134
00:05:17,759 --> 00:05:19,935
You only find that in a mystery box.
135
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,458
Mystery box?
136
00:05:21,469 --> 00:05:23,254
Hi. Are you guys still serving food?
137
00:05:23,265 --> 00:05:25,527
No, no, no, Wok is dead.
Haven't you heard the news?
138
00:05:27,443 --> 00:05:29,226
Can't I just buy this Labubu?
139
00:05:29,237 --> 00:05:30,717
No, that not the way it work.
140
00:05:30,728 --> 00:05:32,729
You buy mystery box, you open it,
141
00:05:32,730 --> 00:05:34,341
hopefully you get the one you want.
142
00:05:34,471 --> 00:05:36,124
Okay, how much is a mystery box?
143
00:05:36,696 --> 00:05:38,083
$85.
144
00:05:38,203 --> 00:05:39,291
85?
145
00:05:39,302 --> 00:05:40,875
Yeah, you gotta pay tariff.
146
00:05:40,886 --> 00:05:42,764
You think I pay tariff? No, no, no, no.
147
00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:44,124
You pay tariff.
148
00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:45,683
Well, okay, I'll take one.
149
00:05:48,926 --> 00:05:50,711
_
150
00:05:50,722 --> 00:05:53,934
_
151
00:05:53,945 --> 00:05:57,035
_
152
00:05:57,046 --> 00:05:59,677
_
153
00:05:59,688 --> 00:06:01,776
Yeah, well, Wok is
dead, you stupid bitch!
154
00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:03,239
Stop nagging me!
155
00:06:03,336 --> 00:06:05,085
Ah, dang it!
156
00:06:05,096 --> 00:06:06,405
This is the wrong one!
157
00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:08,505
Oh, yeah, that just Happiness Labubu.
158
00:06:08,592 --> 00:06:09,940
Very common. Very common.
159
00:06:10,099 --> 00:06:11,970
You try again, $85.
160
00:06:11,981 --> 00:06:14,031
I have to pay another $85
161
00:06:14,032 --> 00:06:15,730
and I still might not
get the one I want?
162
00:06:15,741 --> 00:06:17,742
Hey, it's not me, it's your government.
163
00:06:17,819 --> 00:06:19,114
I don't get fucked by tariff.
164
00:06:19,396 --> 00:06:20,821
You get fucked by tariff.
165
00:06:20,822 --> 00:06:23,565
In China, we call that hot potato.
166
00:06:24,642 --> 00:06:27,044
You're watching Fox News.
167
00:06:27,651 --> 00:06:29,646
The president has just returned
168
00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:32,659
from his historic
tariff summit overseas.
169
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:35,575
There's the president now,
looking handsome as ever.
170
00:06:35,576 --> 00:06:37,491
Oh, and there's the Prince of Darkness,
171
00:06:37,621 --> 00:06:40,624
who's been traveling with
the president as of late.
172
00:06:40,635 --> 00:06:42,636
The president has made his
way off of Air Force One
173
00:06:42,647 --> 00:06:44,866
and will now speak to a
diverse crowd of reporters.
174
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:49,371
Mr. Pre... Mr. President, how
did the tariff meetings go?
175
00:06:49,372 --> 00:06:51,113
Ah, they went great, buddy!
176
00:06:52,865 --> 00:06:55,520
Mr. President, we're all
dying to know something.
177
00:06:55,531 --> 00:06:57,837
Your wife, Melania, has
been staying in New York
178
00:06:58,033 --> 00:06:59,425
and away from the White House.
179
00:06:59,426 --> 00:07:00,688
That's right!
180
00:07:00,699 --> 00:07:03,746
Well, what Fox News
really wants to know is
181
00:07:03,995 --> 00:07:05,823
are you fucking Satan?
182
00:07:07,085 --> 00:07:09,262
No! I'm not fucking Satan!
183
00:07:09,392 --> 00:07:11,873
We're just sorta hanging out.
184
00:07:12,003 --> 00:07:13,788
Oh, come on, President Trump.
185
00:07:13,799 --> 00:07:15,235
With everything you've been doing,
186
00:07:15,246 --> 00:07:17,596
pretty much the whole country
thinks you're fucking Satan now.
187
00:07:17,955 --> 00:07:19,652
I'm not fucking Satan!
188
00:07:19,663 --> 00:07:22,057
Can we go, please?
189
00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:26,583
He is fucking Satan.
190
00:07:26,594 --> 00:07:28,422
That guy's definitely fucking Satan.
191
00:07:28,629 --> 00:07:29,662
What a stud.
192
00:07:29,673 --> 00:07:31,441
Yeah, Fox News!
193
00:07:32,850 --> 00:07:34,112
All right, everyone, listen up,
194
00:07:34,123 --> 00:07:35,776
As you know, there's a lot
being done in the country
195
00:07:35,897 --> 00:07:37,812
to bring Christian values
back to our schools.
196
00:07:37,899 --> 00:07:39,509
Our new school counselor
has some concerns
197
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:40,630
that I understand he'd like to voice.
198
00:07:40,641 --> 00:07:41,660
Go ahead, Jesus.
199
00:07:43,861 --> 00:07:46,386
Well, I'm just a bit confused
200
00:07:46,516 --> 00:07:48,518
about the dramatic rise in fist fighting
201
00:07:48,649 --> 00:07:50,128
over these Labubus.
202
00:07:50,259 --> 00:07:51,304
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
203
00:07:51,434 --> 00:07:52,479
Oh, the Labubus.
204
00:07:52,609 --> 00:07:54,523
Kids go nuts for 'em.
205
00:07:54,524 --> 00:07:57,874
I just don't quite understand
what the fascination is.
206
00:07:57,875 --> 00:08:00,045
Well, they're just the new
fad of the month, you know.
207
00:08:00,056 --> 00:08:02,493
They make them scarce and
hard to find a secret one.
208
00:08:02,504 --> 00:08:04,984
Yeah, and then all the kids
make their Labubu TikToks.
209
00:08:05,522 --> 00:08:06,927
Labubu TikTok?
210
00:08:06,928 --> 00:08:08,495
Yeah, the kids make
'em and they watch 'em.
211
00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:09,930
I can pull one up.
212
00:08:09,931 --> 00:08:12,629
This is Kelly Bronson
from Mrs. Turner's class.
213
00:08:12,716 --> 00:08:15,675
Hey, guys, this is another
Labubu unboxing video!
214
00:08:15,676 --> 00:08:16,938
I got this Labubu online.
215
00:08:17,068 --> 00:08:18,243
I'm pretty sure it's not a Lafufu.
216
00:08:18,244 --> 00:08:19,723
I got the QR code right here.
217
00:08:19,854 --> 00:08:21,725
We're gonna see what we
got. Hope it's a rare one.
218
00:08:21,856 --> 00:08:23,900
If it is, I'm absolutely
gonna freak out.
219
00:08:23,901 --> 00:08:26,295
Okay, let's see, let's see, let's see!
220
00:08:26,426 --> 00:08:28,688
♪ Labu ♪
221
00:08:30,517 --> 00:08:31,866
Oh, my God!
222
00:08:31,996 --> 00:08:33,737
Oh, my God!
223
00:08:33,748 --> 00:08:35,618
Okay, okay, let's start the ritual.
224
00:08:35,739 --> 00:08:36,913
♪ Labubu ♪
225
00:08:36,914 --> 00:08:40,309
♪ Labu-bu ♪
226
00:08:40,396 --> 00:08:43,137
♪ La-bula-bula-bu-bu-bu-bu ♪
227
00:08:43,138 --> 00:08:45,922
♪ La-bula-bula-bu-bu-bu-bu ♪
228
00:08:45,923 --> 00:08:47,751
♪ Labubu, Labubu ♪
229
00:08:55,940 --> 00:08:57,375
What the hell was that?
230
00:08:57,386 --> 00:08:59,719
That's a Labubu unboxing TikTok.
231
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,983
Kids go nuts for 'em.
232
00:09:02,113 --> 00:09:04,551
But that's, like, some
dark Satanic ritual.
233
00:09:04,681 --> 00:09:06,334
Oh, yeah, Labubus are demonic.
234
00:09:06,455 --> 00:09:07,891
Yeah, dark magic.
235
00:09:07,902 --> 00:09:09,424
I don't know if they
come that way from China,
236
00:09:09,425 --> 00:09:11,993
or the kids are infusing them
with some Sumerian dark entity.
237
00:09:12,004 --> 00:09:13,310
It's Mesopotamian.
238
00:09:13,321 --> 00:09:15,105
Got it. So what are your
major concerns, Jesus?
239
00:09:18,116 --> 00:09:19,290
Bro.
240
00:09:19,301 --> 00:09:20,686
That's not normal.
241
00:09:20,697 --> 00:09:22,264
These kids are in trouble.
242
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,962
Yeah, that's why every
school needs a counselor.
243
00:09:38,106 --> 00:09:40,195
Welcome City Pop-Up. Take order, please.
244
00:09:40,577 --> 00:09:43,405
I have $88.42 in here.
245
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,981
I need to buy another mystery box.
246
00:09:44,982 --> 00:09:48,377
Oh, sorry, Labubu mystery box $120.
247
00:09:48,508 --> 00:09:50,423
What? It was $85!
248
00:09:50,553 --> 00:09:52,250
Yeah, yeah, tariffs when up!
249
00:09:52,261 --> 00:09:54,262
You never know with
tariffs. They make no sense.
250
00:09:54,459 --> 00:09:55,808
But that's not fair!
251
00:09:55,819 --> 00:09:57,820
Yeah, no shit, tariffs not fair!
252
00:09:57,821 --> 00:10:00,389
Please, sir, my
girlfriend's party is today,
253
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,835
and I have to get the Labubu she wants.
254
00:10:02,171 --> 00:10:04,164
- Please!
- It's okay, it's okay.
255
00:10:04,295 --> 00:10:05,775
I have idea.
256
00:10:05,786 --> 00:10:07,875
You want mystery box for cheap price?
257
00:10:08,081 --> 00:10:10,170
You use claw machine.
258
00:10:10,181 --> 00:10:11,443
You try your luck.
259
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,285
Use claw machine to get a mystery box,
260
00:10:13,296 --> 00:10:16,429
open it up, hopefully you
get good Labubu you want.
261
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,060
♪ Labubu ♪
262
00:10:19,234 --> 00:10:21,976
♪ Labu-labu-labu ♪
263
00:10:21,987 --> 00:10:23,771
♪ Labubu ♪
264
00:10:23,978 --> 00:10:26,849
♪ Labu-labu-labu-labu ♪
265
00:10:26,850 --> 00:10:28,155
Oh, you so close.
266
00:10:28,156 --> 00:10:29,200
Try again.
267
00:10:29,331 --> 00:10:31,855
Oh, jeez.
268
00:10:31,986 --> 00:10:33,617
♪ Labubu ♪
269
00:10:33,628 --> 00:10:35,574
_
270
00:10:35,642 --> 00:10:37,160
Oh, here we go.
271
00:10:37,171 --> 00:10:39,869
I get screwed by tariffs, so
I have to screw the children!
272
00:10:40,255 --> 00:10:41,691
What do you not understand?
273
00:10:42,833 --> 00:10:46,009
_
274
00:10:46,291 --> 00:10:47,987
Yeah, well, Wok's not
coming back, bitch!
275
00:10:48,176 --> 00:10:49,699
Go wok, go brok!
276
00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:51,397
♪ Labu ♪
277
00:10:52,215 --> 00:10:54,913
Thank you for coming,
Mrs. Paxton, Mrs. Gray.
278
00:10:55,270 --> 00:10:58,315
The reason I called you in
today is because your girls were
279
00:10:58,316 --> 00:11:00,918
in a major altercation
over their Labubus.
280
00:11:00,929 --> 00:11:03,366
Okay, so what are you gonna do about it?
281
00:11:03,670 --> 00:11:05,759
Well, I was hoping
we could work together
282
00:11:05,889 --> 00:11:08,325
to maybe just keep them
away from the Labubus.
283
00:11:08,326 --> 00:11:10,458
Oh, sure, just take their Labubus away.
284
00:11:10,459 --> 00:11:12,112
Great counseling.
285
00:11:12,113 --> 00:11:14,724
Look, I have reason to believe
that the students are using
286
00:11:14,855 --> 00:11:17,945
Labubus for some kind of... ritual.
287
00:11:17,956 --> 00:11:20,263
Yeah, but to do that, you
have to have a super rare one.
288
00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:22,509
They're the only ones girls
can use in dark rituals.
289
00:11:23,124 --> 00:11:24,864
You know that they're demonic?
290
00:11:24,865 --> 00:11:27,258
Yeah. What are we supposed to do?
291
00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:29,750
My daughter sees Kelly Miller
summoning demonic forces
292
00:11:29,761 --> 00:11:33,111
on TikTok, then she wants
to be like Kelly Miller.
293
00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:35,647
Did Kelly Miller summon demonic forces?
294
00:11:35,658 --> 00:11:37,355
I don't know, she hung herself.
295
00:11:37,366 --> 00:11:39,934
Well, we should probably
keep the girls off of TikTok.
296
00:11:39,974 --> 00:11:41,758
Oh, yeah, just keep 'em off TikTok.
297
00:11:42,056 --> 00:11:43,710
That's some clever counseling there.
298
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,842
- Do you have kids?
- No, I don't.
299
00:11:45,929 --> 00:11:47,540
- Figures.
- Well, when you do,
300
00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:48,976
you try and keep 'em off of TikTok
301
00:11:48,987 --> 00:11:50,728
and out of the Asian pop-up store.
302
00:11:50,934 --> 00:11:53,720
Wait, what is an Asian pop-up store?
303
00:11:53,731 --> 00:11:56,036
That's where the girls
get all the Labubus.
304
00:11:56,113 --> 00:11:57,592
Where did they find this guy?
305
00:11:57,593 --> 00:11:59,682
We told you he was a crappy counselor
306
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:04,807
This is a Fox News Alert!
307
00:12:04,818 --> 00:12:07,734
As debates on American tariffs continue,
308
00:12:07,745 --> 00:12:10,138
the question on every
American's mind tonight,
309
00:12:10,345 --> 00:12:13,173
is President Trump fucking Satan?
310
00:12:13,174 --> 00:12:15,349
The president's been seen
less and less with his wife
311
00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:17,221
and more often with his new pal,
312
00:12:17,232 --> 00:12:19,060
making people all around the world say,
313
00:12:19,136 --> 00:12:22,400
"Donald Trump has got to
be fucking Satan, for sure."
314
00:12:22,565 --> 00:12:24,696
Well, for all of us
who are still skeptical
315
00:12:24,707 --> 00:12:26,708
that President Trump is fucking Satan,
316
00:12:26,709 --> 00:12:28,450
Fox News has obtained some footage
317
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,408
of President Trump seeming
to be fucking Satan.
318
00:12:31,409 --> 00:12:33,107
This was at a golf course yesterday
319
00:12:33,194 --> 00:12:35,196
where the president
was heroically golfing.
320
00:12:35,207 --> 00:12:37,079
You can just make out
Satan going behind a bush
321
00:12:37,328 --> 00:12:38,895
and President Trump right there...
322
00:12:38,982 --> 00:12:41,028
he's fucking Satan.
Karen, what do you think?
323
00:12:41,039 --> 00:12:43,433
I think the president is
definitely fucking Satan,
324
00:12:43,683 --> 00:12:45,685
and I love it.
325
00:12:45,696 --> 00:12:47,306
Of course, a lot of
Americans still argue
326
00:12:47,556 --> 00:12:49,949
there's no way the president
could be fucking Satan.
327
00:12:49,950 --> 00:12:51,951
So we have a body
language expert to show us
328
00:12:51,952 --> 00:12:53,866
just how it is possible.
329
00:12:53,867 --> 00:12:56,913
Well, if Mr. President
Trump is fucking Satan...
330
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,740
and I'm not saying if he is or isn't.
331
00:12:58,741 --> 00:13:00,960
I'm just kinda hoping he is...
332
00:13:00,961 --> 00:13:03,615
he mostly likely is
coming in from the back.
333
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,095
Now, Satan has a pretty
large physical presence,
334
00:13:06,096 --> 00:13:08,228
so we're pretty sure President
Trump would have to get on top
335
00:13:08,229 --> 00:13:09,578
- and...
- Ah!
336
00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:11,155
Oh, my God, the
president is doing things
337
00:13:11,232 --> 00:13:12,758
no other president has done before.
338
00:13:12,769 --> 00:13:13,942
I love him.
339
00:13:13,953 --> 00:13:15,867
If you don't think President
Trump is fucking Satan,
340
00:13:16,019 --> 00:13:17,934
this definitely proves how he could be!
341
00:13:30,033 --> 00:13:31,948
Welcome to City Asian Pop-Up Store.
342
00:13:32,155 --> 00:13:33,635
Take order, please.
343
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,995
Are you the one that has
been selling all these Labubus
344
00:13:36,062 --> 00:13:37,671
to my students?
345
00:13:37,682 --> 00:13:39,031
Oh, boy.
346
00:13:39,042 --> 00:13:41,305
Look, it not my fault,
these city prices, okay?
347
00:13:41,426 --> 00:13:42,992
Labubus very expensive.
348
00:13:43,003 --> 00:13:45,221
Those dolls you are selling are cursed!
349
00:13:45,298 --> 00:13:46,754
Yeah, no shit they cursed.
350
00:13:46,765 --> 00:13:49,114
It's called tariff. You pass it along.
351
00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:50,474
I get the curse, I put the curse on you.
352
00:13:50,869 --> 00:13:52,218
It's like AIDS.
353
00:13:52,229 --> 00:13:53,666
Oh, my God, I got it!
354
00:13:53,872 --> 00:13:56,048
I got the super rare!
355
00:13:56,059 --> 00:13:57,712
Hey, what the hell you talking about?
356
00:13:57,713 --> 00:13:59,280
This is the one my girlfriend wants!
357
00:13:59,291 --> 00:14:01,206
Now I can take it to her birthday party!
358
00:14:01,422 --> 00:14:03,423
My child, put that down, it's dangerous!
359
00:14:03,434 --> 00:14:06,176
Hey, hey, hold on,
that's super rare Labubu.
360
00:14:06,187 --> 00:14:08,842
That worth, like, $600.
You gotta pay more tariff.
361
00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:13,065
_
362
00:14:13,076 --> 00:14:15,077
Oh, my God, will you go away?
363
00:14:15,078 --> 00:14:16,731
Listen, both of you!
364
00:14:16,732 --> 00:14:19,067
There are more important issues at hand.
365
00:14:19,078 --> 00:14:21,559
My child, you cannot take
that to a birthday party.
366
00:14:23,407 --> 00:14:25,104
Ah, shit, where he go?
367
00:14:46,723 --> 00:14:48,156
Satan?
368
00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:51,593
Why are you so sad?
369
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:56,641
I wish to be gone from this place.
370
00:14:56,971 --> 00:14:59,068
I do not understand.
371
00:14:59,079 --> 00:15:00,907
If you do not want to be here,
372
00:15:01,344 --> 00:15:03,303
then why do you stay?
373
00:15:03,817 --> 00:15:08,299
I am forced to stay by
the dark tides of destiny.
374
00:15:08,436 --> 00:15:13,266
I wanted to leave
months ago, but I cannot
375
00:15:13,534 --> 00:15:17,843
because of what's in this box.
376
00:15:19,637 --> 00:15:21,770
What's in the box?
377
00:15:21,957 --> 00:15:24,626
The secret none must know,
378
00:15:24,833 --> 00:15:28,750
and yet, all will soon discover.
379
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,764
I can feel the tides of change.
380
00:15:32,141 --> 00:15:36,015
The final showdown is upon us.
381
00:15:55,096 --> 00:15:56,865
Happy birthday, Red!
382
00:15:56,876 --> 00:15:58,044
Butters.
383
00:15:58,055 --> 00:16:00,405
Wait. Is that what I think it is?
384
00:16:00,713 --> 00:16:03,803
Well, you'll have to wait
till you open it to find out...
385
00:16:03,970 --> 00:16:05,187
Oh, all right then.
386
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,440
I love you, Butters!
387
00:16:13,089 --> 00:16:14,763
Wow!
388
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:15,929
I got it, you guys!
389
00:16:16,112 --> 00:16:17,679
- Oh, wow!
- It's so cool!
390
00:16:17,766 --> 00:16:19,201
Oh, it's so cute!
391
00:16:19,202 --> 00:16:20,595
I got the super rare,
392
00:16:20,726 --> 00:16:22,205
all thanks to Butters.
393
00:16:22,336 --> 00:16:24,120
So are you gonna do it?
394
00:16:24,207 --> 00:16:26,556
Yeah! We're gonna go upstairs and do it!
395
00:16:26,623 --> 00:16:28,059
Whoa! We're gonna what?
396
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,419
Come up to my room, Butters!
397
00:16:29,430 --> 00:16:30,463
Oh, my God!
398
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:33,119
Hey, if anyone wants to watch us do it,
399
00:16:33,490 --> 00:16:34,490
come on up!
400
00:16:34,501 --> 00:16:35,980
- Okay, yeah.
- Great.
401
00:16:35,991 --> 00:16:37,906
Oh! This is all really sudden, Red!
402
00:16:37,917 --> 00:16:38,960
Wait!
403
00:16:46,186 --> 00:16:48,840
South Park Elementary.
I'm sorry, we're closed.
404
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,233
Bev! I need to know
which of the students
405
00:16:50,364 --> 00:16:52,279
has a birthday today.
406
00:16:52,409 --> 00:16:53,443
Who is this?
407
00:16:53,454 --> 00:16:55,499
It's me, Jesus!
408
00:16:55,826 --> 00:16:56,871
Who?
409
00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:58,187
The school counselor!
410
00:16:58,198 --> 00:17:00,895
Oh. I don't know who
has a birthday today.
411
00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:03,419
That was actually always
the counselor's job.
412
00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:06,553
Can you just look it up in
the school records, please?
413
00:17:06,702 --> 00:17:07,815
Hang on.
414
00:17:07,826 --> 00:17:10,176
Guess I'm doing your job too now.
415
00:17:11,385 --> 00:17:13,473
Okay, okay. Oh, my God.
416
00:17:13,484 --> 00:17:15,616
I'm so excited to finally do it.
417
00:17:15,627 --> 00:17:18,587
Well, yeah, I guess I'm
excited to do it, too, Red.
418
00:17:18,784 --> 00:17:20,480
Okay, I think we're all ready.
419
00:17:20,481 --> 00:17:22,613
Here, you take a video
of the whole thing.
420
00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:24,919
Whoa! Can't we just kiss first?
421
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:28,043
Hey! What's up, guys? This
is my TikTok Labubu video.
422
00:17:28,054 --> 00:17:30,317
I got the super rare,
so let's see if it works.
423
00:17:30,447 --> 00:17:31,753
Hey, we want to watch.
424
00:17:31,764 --> 00:17:33,810
Yeah, come on in, you guys.
425
00:17:36,497 --> 00:17:38,412
Labubu, Labubu.
426
00:17:38,499 --> 00:17:40,108
Labubu, Labubu.
427
00:17:40,109 --> 00:17:42,502
- What the heck's going on?
- Labubu, Labubu.
428
00:17:42,503 --> 00:17:43,851
Ah!
429
00:17:44,887 --> 00:17:45,954
Oh, God!
430
00:17:55,081 --> 00:17:56,691
Labubu, Labubu.
431
00:17:56,822 --> 00:18:00,303
Labubu, Labubu.
432
00:18:00,434 --> 00:18:02,435
Here he comes!
433
00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:07,038
Ah!
434
00:18:07,049 --> 00:18:08,746
We call the demonic forces!
435
00:18:08,757 --> 00:18:11,150
Appear before us at my birthday party!
436
00:18:11,271 --> 00:18:12,663
This is so cool!
437
00:18:15,524 --> 00:18:17,396
Ta-da!
438
00:18:17,517 --> 00:18:19,431
Ew!
439
00:18:19,442 --> 00:18:21,270
Wait, that thing is fucking Satan?
440
00:18:21,552 --> 00:18:24,109
No! I'm not fucking Satan!
441
00:18:28,331 --> 00:18:31,813
This is a Fox News Super Alert!
442
00:18:31,824 --> 00:18:34,956
We may just have another
Trump and Satan spotting.
443
00:18:35,370 --> 00:18:36,546
The two are rumored to be
444
00:18:36,557 --> 00:18:38,123
in a small mountain town in the Rockies.
445
00:18:38,124 --> 00:18:40,169
Let's go to our Colorado affiliate.
446
00:18:41,194 --> 00:18:42,867
Yeah, guys, there's
definitely black clouds
447
00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:45,086
and swarms of locusts here.
448
00:18:45,087 --> 00:18:47,523
Um, probably another Labubu party.
449
00:18:47,524 --> 00:18:49,177
You know, whenever
there's a Labubu party,
450
00:18:49,178 --> 00:18:51,571
the president and Satan
usually make an appearance.
451
00:18:51,572 --> 00:18:52,965
We've got our eye in the sky now.
452
00:18:53,095 --> 00:18:54,488
Guys, what are you seeing?
453
00:18:54,924 --> 00:18:56,358
Yeah, you can see little girls
454
00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:57,812
running and screaming.
455
00:18:57,823 --> 00:18:59,607
The president just coming
out onto the front lawn...
456
00:19:00,059 --> 00:19:01,582
and yes, there is Satan.
457
00:19:01,712 --> 00:19:03,627
They're definitely hanging out.
458
00:19:04,129 --> 00:19:06,325
Come on, let's go!
459
00:19:06,326 --> 00:19:08,850
Lucifer!
460
00:19:10,076 --> 00:19:11,250
So...
461
00:19:11,777 --> 00:19:13,549
it is you.
462
00:19:13,550 --> 00:19:15,682
Just what are you doing, Satan?
463
00:19:15,683 --> 00:19:17,379
I will know.
464
00:19:19,011 --> 00:19:21,927
Okay, it looks like Jesus
Christ is now on the scene
465
00:19:22,298 --> 00:19:24,560
for some kind of biblical showdown.
466
00:19:24,561 --> 00:19:26,823
I have seen your evil at work, Satan.
467
00:19:26,824 --> 00:19:29,348
I bid you leave this realm at once.
468
00:19:29,349 --> 00:19:31,568
You think I don't want to leave?
469
00:19:31,699 --> 00:19:33,657
I am bound to him!
470
00:19:34,057 --> 00:19:35,884
Bound to him how?
471
00:19:36,064 --> 00:19:38,314
All right, fine! Here!
472
00:19:38,401 --> 00:19:40,795
You all want to know the truth?
473
00:19:42,743 --> 00:19:45,137
Yes! We're together!
474
00:19:45,147 --> 00:19:47,148
We've been together for months,
475
00:19:47,149 --> 00:19:50,587
and I want to leave him, but I can't
476
00:19:50,911 --> 00:19:53,087
because...
477
00:19:53,278 --> 00:19:54,845
I'm pregnant.
478
00:20:03,383 --> 00:20:05,166
He's pregnant?
479
00:20:05,243 --> 00:20:06,418
Whoa.
480
00:20:06,429 --> 00:20:08,257
So now you all know.
481
00:20:08,388 --> 00:20:10,781
I am forced to stay in this situation
482
00:20:10,868 --> 00:20:12,696
for several more years.
483
00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:19,268
Uh, Satan is saying he's been
trapped at the White House
484
00:20:19,279 --> 00:20:21,368
because he's pregnant.
485
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,328
Uh, let's get our science expert in here
486
00:20:23,577 --> 00:20:25,796
to see if that's actually possible.
487
00:20:25,883 --> 00:20:29,278
Yeah, uh, demonic pregnancies
work a little different.
488
00:20:29,648 --> 00:20:32,096
The term is "butt baby."
489
00:20:32,107 --> 00:20:33,673
All right, well, that seems to be it.
490
00:20:33,674 --> 00:20:36,938
Satan is pregnant with
the president's child.
491
00:20:36,949 --> 00:20:39,647
So Fox News can now confirm
492
00:20:39,658 --> 00:20:42,661
Donald Trump has been
fucking Satan this whole time.
493
00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:44,102
Yeah!
494
00:20:44,250 --> 00:20:45,554
This is a great day for Fox News.
495
00:20:45,555 --> 00:20:47,861
Yes, Fox News!
496
00:20:47,862 --> 00:20:49,472
For all the doubters
who thought Donald Trump
497
00:20:49,603 --> 00:20:51,083
wasn't fucking Satan,
498
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:52,856
in your face!
499
00:20:52,867 --> 00:20:54,608
We're gonna check in now with Kid Rock.
500
00:20:54,695 --> 00:20:57,088
Kid, you must be overcome with emotion.
501
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,438
I just... I just honestly didn't think
502
00:20:59,439 --> 00:21:01,702
the president was fucking Satan, but
503
00:21:01,713 --> 00:21:04,499
now knowing that he has
been this whole time,
504
00:21:04,705 --> 00:21:07,576
I'm just so happy.
505
00:21:10,983 --> 00:21:13,593
Well, I hope you guys
learned a valuable lesson.
506
00:21:14,279 --> 00:21:16,717
If you mess around and you aren't safe,
507
00:21:16,728 --> 00:21:19,514
it can have really big consequences.
508
00:21:21,542 --> 00:21:23,935
Yeah, I'm not having
sex for a long time.
509
00:21:24,029 --> 00:21:25,827
And I'm done with Labubus.
510
00:21:25,838 --> 00:21:28,188
Well, that's good,
because as your counselor,
511
00:21:28,294 --> 00:21:30,426
I'm banning Labubus from school.
512
00:21:30,513 --> 00:21:33,125
And TikTok. And cell phones.
513
00:21:33,255 --> 00:21:34,343
Now get back to class.
514
00:21:34,474 --> 00:21:35,997
You both have detention for two weeks.
515
00:21:36,203 --> 00:21:38,336
Oh, man!
516
00:21:38,347 --> 00:21:40,479
Wow, new counselor's kind of a dick.
517
00:21:40,646 --> 00:21:43,736
Yeah, but he's better than the last guy.
518
00:21:47,215 --> 00:21:49,304
♪ Labubu ♪
519
00:21:49,315 --> 00:21:51,360
♪ La, labu-labu ♪
520
00:22:05,781 --> 00:22:10,781
- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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