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Captioning sponsored by
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
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00:00:15,231 --> 00:00:19,361
and 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
Ripped By mstoll
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00:00:31,948 --> 00:00:33,438
Yep.
4
00:00:33,483 --> 00:00:35,917
Yep.
5
00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:38,716
Nancy refused
to make me eggs Benedict
6
00:00:38,755 --> 00:00:40,245
for breakfast again.
7
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,257
It's not fair.
8
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,588
I'm a good husband.
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00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:45,253
The ones who kill their wives
and go to Death Row
10
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,024
get to eat
whatever they want.
11
00:00:47,063 --> 00:00:49,463
People on Death Row
get to eat whatever they want?
12
00:00:49,499 --> 00:00:51,694
For their last meal, yes.
13
00:00:51,735 --> 00:00:54,727
Oh. I could never kill anybody.
14
00:00:54,771 --> 00:00:57,934
(rock music blaring)
15
00:00:57,974 --> 00:00:59,236
Oh, man.
16
00:00:59,275 --> 00:01:00,742
That's like with
them noise pollution
17
00:01:00,777 --> 00:01:02,836
Man, like them dang
ole band Garbage, man.
18
00:01:02,879 --> 00:01:05,404
Ol' lead sing kinda cute,
but, you know, look, man.
19
00:01:05,448 --> 00:01:06,745
Dang it, Bobby.
20
00:01:06,783 --> 00:01:10,219
I let Joseph listen
to whatever he wants.
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00:01:10,253 --> 00:01:13,381
'Course, I'm
afraid of Joseph.
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00:01:13,423 --> 00:01:14,481
♪♪... such a bad ass... ♪♪
23
00:01:14,524 --> 00:01:15,616
Bobby.
24
00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:16,955
(gasps)
25
00:01:19,262 --> 00:01:20,456
(shuts off music)
26
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:21,987
(humming)
27
00:01:22,031 --> 00:01:23,623
Dad, what
are you doing?
28
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:25,793
Whoa, I gotta sit down.
29
00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,735
What in the heck
is on your head?
30
00:01:27,771 --> 00:01:28,897
They're my dreads.
31
00:01:28,938 --> 00:01:30,030
Aren't they cool?
32
00:01:30,073 --> 00:01:31,631
♪♪ Uh, uh, uh... ♪♪
33
00:01:33,877 --> 00:01:36,437
Now, I know you've
got a rule about wigs,
34
00:01:36,479 --> 00:01:39,710
but this is just temporary
until I can grow my own,
35
00:01:39,749 --> 00:01:41,239
just like Johnny Glockk.
36
00:01:41,284 --> 00:01:43,013
Isn't that the guy
who got arrested
37
00:01:43,052 --> 00:01:45,384
for setting a
car on fire?
38
00:01:45,421 --> 00:01:48,254
He had to, Dad...
he got dissed.
39
00:01:48,291 --> 00:01:50,418
PEGGY:
Bobby, here's the
goatee you wanted.
40
00:01:50,460 --> 00:01:53,452
Thanks. Oh... what
about the black nail polish?
41
00:01:53,496 --> 00:01:54,520
They were out.
42
00:01:54,564 --> 00:01:56,498
You will have to
use a Sharpie.
43
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,865
No. The only way
you're having a black nail
44
00:01:58,902 --> 00:02:00,597
is if you hit it
with a hammer.
45
00:02:00,637 --> 00:02:02,434
Why are you
encouraging our son
46
00:02:02,472 --> 00:02:03,996
to dress like a criminal?
47
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,974
Oh, he's just
playing, Hank.
48
00:02:06,009 --> 00:02:07,408
Gangstas and hos
49
00:02:07,443 --> 00:02:10,435
is his generation's
cowboys and Indians.
50
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:12,243
That's what I'm talking about.
51
00:02:13,783 --> 00:02:15,717
What's the big deal?
52
00:02:15,752 --> 00:02:17,743
I was just rocking out
to my music.
53
00:02:17,787 --> 00:02:20,187
If you're looking for
some entertainment,
54
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:23,454
I do have a very awesome video
that you might enjoy.
55
00:02:23,493 --> 00:02:25,757
If it's the one
about Esau the Eggplant
56
00:02:25,795 --> 00:02:29,561
and the prodigal cucumber, I've
seen it about a thousand times.
57
00:02:29,599 --> 00:02:30,793
I hear your beef.
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00:02:30,834 --> 00:02:33,029
You're a teenager
and you're looking
59
00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:35,367
for something a
little more with it.
60
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,667
I got your back.
61
00:02:36,706 --> 00:02:39,140
Hank, I know an after-
school youth group
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00:02:39,175 --> 00:02:40,665
that would be
great for Bobby.
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00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:44,202
The pastor there has done
some super work with teens.
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00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,441
Youth group?
65
00:02:45,481 --> 00:02:47,039
Sounds kinda boring.
66
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,516
Sounds kinda perfect.
67
00:02:48,551 --> 00:02:51,748
Some positive influence
is just what Bobby needs.
68
00:02:51,788 --> 00:02:53,255
But, Dad,
it's after school.
69
00:02:53,289 --> 00:02:55,257
What if I want
to join a sports team?
70
00:02:55,291 --> 00:02:56,417
Nice try.
71
00:02:56,459 --> 00:02:57,585
He'll be there.
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00:02:58,895 --> 00:03:01,762
I can't believe you're
making me do this.
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00:03:01,798 --> 00:03:02,958
It's so uncool.
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00:03:02,999 --> 00:03:05,524
You know what's
not cool, Bobby?
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00:03:05,568 --> 00:03:06,728
Hell.
76
00:03:09,239 --> 00:03:10,672
Don't forget your Bible.
77
00:03:10,707 --> 00:03:12,072
(groans)
78
00:03:19,249 --> 00:03:20,614
(indistinct talking)
79
00:03:31,394 --> 00:03:32,588
What are you
looking at?
80
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,358
Hey, there, guys.
81
00:03:34,397 --> 00:03:36,126
I was just, uh...
82
00:03:36,165 --> 00:03:37,291
What's with the suit?
83
00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:38,595
You a lawyer, suit?
84
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,103
No, uh...
I-I-I don't want any trouble.
85
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:43,697
I was just looking
for... uh...
86
00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:45,367
What are you looking for?
87
00:03:45,408 --> 00:03:46,432
I, um...
88
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,738
You lost?
89
00:03:47,777 --> 00:03:49,642
Lonely? Scared?
90
00:03:49,679 --> 00:03:50,407
Yes!
91
00:03:50,446 --> 00:03:51,470
Well, then you came
92
00:03:51,514 --> 00:03:52,572
to the right place.
93
00:03:53,917 --> 00:03:56,408
Look, K's dropping in
for a Double Ore-Ida.
94
00:03:59,289 --> 00:04:00,654
Praise Him!
95
00:04:00,690 --> 00:04:02,590
(cheering)
96
00:04:02,625 --> 00:04:04,923
That was awesome.
97
00:04:04,961 --> 00:04:07,088
Thanks, but not
as awesome as Jesus.
98
00:04:07,130 --> 00:04:09,724
You guys are
the Christian youth group?
99
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:12,397
Pastor K.
100
00:04:12,435 --> 00:04:14,096
Stroup said she was
sending over a kid
101
00:04:14,137 --> 00:04:15,604
who likes to rock out. That you?
102
00:04:15,638 --> 00:04:16,935
Yeah.
103
00:04:16,973 --> 00:04:18,600
Welcome to the flock.
104
00:04:18,641 --> 00:04:20,609
Word to our Father.
105
00:04:20,643 --> 00:04:21,109
Hosanna to the highest.
106
00:04:22,779 --> 00:04:27,773
See, check out what this lucky
bastard got for his last meal.
107
00:04:27,817 --> 00:04:29,751
Prisoner number 88725.
108
00:04:29,786 --> 00:04:34,246
Six pieces of fried chicken,
six rolls, tin roof ice cream,
109
00:04:34,290 --> 00:04:36,588
strawberry soda and lemon pie.
110
00:04:36,626 --> 00:04:37,923
Oh, that sounds good.
111
00:04:37,961 --> 00:04:39,952
That's what I want.
112
00:04:39,996 --> 00:04:41,224
How about this guy?
113
00:04:41,264 --> 00:04:43,630
One dozen fried eggs,
one loaf of bread,
114
00:04:43,666 --> 00:04:46,533
a bowl of salad dressing,
French fries
115
00:04:46,569 --> 00:04:48,594
and three cartons of milk.
116
00:04:48,638 --> 00:04:49,605
Oh, no.
117
00:04:49,639 --> 00:04:51,129
That's what I want.
118
00:04:51,174 --> 00:04:53,904
If it were me, I'd choose
the world's rarest truffle.
119
00:04:53,943 --> 00:04:56,343
Then, while they
were searching for it,
120
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:58,210
I'd tunnel my way to freedom.
121
00:04:58,247 --> 00:05:01,842
'Course then I'd miss eating
the world's rarest truffle.
122
00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:03,044
Quite the quandary.
123
00:05:03,086 --> 00:05:04,383
I'll tell you what, man.
124
00:05:04,420 --> 00:05:06,388
Talking bout I'd go out
in dang old style, man.
125
00:05:06,422 --> 00:05:08,754
You know, talking bout dang
ole rack of lamb, you know,
126
00:05:08,791 --> 00:05:10,190
and a little ole foie gras.
127
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:12,354
Dang ol' dinner
is served.
128
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,362
HANK:
Sorry I'm late.
129
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:14,727
The Weather Channel's got
130
00:05:14,764 --> 00:05:16,857
some pretty exciting stuff
going on in Missouri.
131
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,732
I felt like
walking home.
132
00:05:20,770 --> 00:05:23,933
You know, enjoy
this glorious day.
133
00:05:23,973 --> 00:05:26,635
So, uh, you have
a good time?
134
00:05:26,676 --> 00:05:29,304
Yes, it was the best.
135
00:05:29,345 --> 00:05:30,539
I met some great guys,
136
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:32,548
and I asked them
to come over later,
137
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:33,742
if that's okay?
138
00:05:33,783 --> 00:05:35,410
Well, of course
it's okay.
139
00:05:35,451 --> 00:05:37,544
I'll even set up
the tether ball.
140
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,681
Thanks for making me go, Dad.
141
00:05:40,723 --> 00:05:44,557
My son just thanked me
for taking him to church.
142
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:50,759
(sniffs)
143
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,233
Yes, I switched.
144
00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:53,428
Do not start.
145
00:05:53,469 --> 00:05:54,629
(crashing)
146
00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:55,637
Possum.
147
00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:58,467
What the?
148
00:05:58,508 --> 00:06:01,341
What are you guys doing
to that garbage can?
149
00:06:01,377 --> 00:06:03,504
That is not its intended use.
150
00:06:03,546 --> 00:06:04,706
Hey, guys!
151
00:06:04,747 --> 00:06:06,806
Bobby, don't get
too close.
152
00:06:06,849 --> 00:06:08,009
What are you
talking about?
153
00:06:08,051 --> 00:06:09,746
These are my friends
from the youth group.
154
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:12,414
They're cool,
and they're totally Christian.
155
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:13,854
Hey, check this out.
All right.
156
00:06:13,890 --> 00:06:14,948
Yeah.
157
00:06:14,991 --> 00:06:16,982
I... I don't understand.
158
00:06:17,026 --> 00:06:18,516
Hey, dude, I'm up.
159
00:06:18,561 --> 00:06:19,619
Can you
hold my Bible?
160
00:06:19,662 --> 00:06:21,857
Uh...
161
00:06:21,898 --> 00:06:22,956
You don't have
to just hold it.
162
00:06:22,999 --> 00:06:24,023
You could read
it, you know.
163
00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:25,898
Don't tell me to read the Bible.
164
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,937
Praise Him!
165
00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:30,165
Praise Him!
166
00:06:37,713 --> 00:06:39,613
Can you believe the way
that kid was sassing me?
167
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:41,947
I was reading
the Bible
168
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:42,780
before that little
punk was born.
169
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,116
Maybe it's just me,
170
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:46,417
but I'd rather Bobby
be in a Christian gang
171
00:06:46,456 --> 00:06:48,321
than one of those
murdering gangs.
172
00:06:48,357 --> 00:06:49,949
Well,
maybe you're right.
173
00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:52,552
Wait, I-I think
that one is smoking.
174
00:06:52,595 --> 00:06:55,496
Oh, no, he's praying.
175
00:06:55,531 --> 00:06:57,624
LUANNE:
Thanks for having me
176
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:58,691
over for dinner.
177
00:06:58,734 --> 00:07:00,668
Mine was a disaster.
178
00:07:00,703 --> 00:07:03,433
I thought hot dogs
never went bad.
179
00:07:03,473 --> 00:07:06,408
Would anybody mind
if I said grace tonight?
180
00:07:06,442 --> 00:07:08,342
Sure, Bobby.
181
00:07:08,377 --> 00:07:09,844
I want to give a shout-out
182
00:07:09,879 --> 00:07:11,847
to the man who
makes it all happen.
183
00:07:11,881 --> 00:07:14,372
Props be to you
for this most bountiful meal
184
00:07:14,417 --> 00:07:15,816
that sits before us.
185
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,319
Okay, check it.
186
00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:19,253
God, you've
got skills.
187
00:07:19,288 --> 00:07:20,516
You represent
188
00:07:20,556 --> 00:07:22,251
in these vegetables
and in this napkin
189
00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:24,054
and in the dirt
that grows the grain
190
00:07:24,093 --> 00:07:25,720
that makes
the garlic bread sticks
191
00:07:25,761 --> 00:07:28,457
that are on this table today,
yes, yes.
192
00:07:28,498 --> 00:07:30,591
HANK:
Okay, Bobby.
193
00:07:30,633 --> 00:07:32,157
God appreciates the support,
194
00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:34,465
but I'm sure He wouldn't want
the pot roast to get cold.
195
00:07:34,504 --> 00:07:35,630
Now, let's wrap it up.
196
00:07:35,671 --> 00:07:36,695
Sure thing.
197
00:07:36,739 --> 00:07:39,071
Thanks, J-Man. Peace.
198
00:07:47,850 --> 00:07:49,715
What up, James?
199
00:07:49,752 --> 00:07:51,481
Peace be with you, Brad.
200
00:07:51,521 --> 00:07:53,182
Hey, Bobby,
check it out.
201
00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:56,422
Righteous!
202
00:07:56,459 --> 00:07:58,154
You should see Pastor K's ride.
203
00:07:58,194 --> 00:07:59,286
He's got the Resurrection
204
00:07:59,328 --> 00:08:01,091
airbrushed
on the back of his Jeep.
205
00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:03,155
PASTOR K:
Hey, brothers,
gather 'round.
206
00:08:03,199 --> 00:08:04,894
Time to feel the Word.
207
00:08:04,934 --> 00:08:06,595
Welcome, everybody.
208
00:08:06,636 --> 00:08:08,866
Trent, you got our
verse of the day?
209
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:12,070
"Test all things.
210
00:08:12,108 --> 00:08:14,668
Hold fast what is good."
211
00:08:14,710 --> 00:08:17,873
Thessalonians 5:21.
212
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:19,404
Nice job,
brother.
213
00:08:19,448 --> 00:08:21,177
That verse was running
through my spirit
214
00:08:21,217 --> 00:08:22,912
when I went
rock climbing last weekend.
215
00:08:22,952 --> 00:08:24,214
To be tight with the Lord,
216
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:26,585
you got to take your faith
to the limit.
217
00:08:26,622 --> 00:08:27,179
You know what
I'm talking about?
218
00:08:27,223 --> 00:08:28,155
The power!
219
00:08:28,191 --> 00:08:29,158
That's right.
220
00:08:29,192 --> 00:08:30,819
Nothing runs without power.
221
00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:33,420
I mean, your amp is worthless
unless it gets that juice.
222
00:08:33,462 --> 00:08:35,225
And so are we.
223
00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:37,494
So you got to find
a way to plug in.
224
00:08:37,533 --> 00:08:39,899
Test all things
to find the good.
225
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,699
But how do you know what's good?
226
00:08:41,737 --> 00:08:43,864
It's whatever sticks
to your spirit, man.
227
00:08:43,906 --> 00:08:45,703
Whatever God
tattoos on your soul.
228
00:08:45,741 --> 00:08:48,039
We're all searching
for that eternal ink.
229
00:08:48,077 --> 00:08:49,704
(indistinct utterancesof understanding)
230
00:08:49,745 --> 00:08:52,111
All right, let us pray.
231
00:08:52,148 --> 00:08:54,742
And don't forget to say
a little something for Charlie
232
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,513
who's at home with a wicked
nose ring infection.
233
00:09:02,091 --> 00:09:03,080
What in?
234
00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:04,786
(grunts)
235
00:09:04,827 --> 00:09:06,761
Oh, I thought
he had it that time.
236
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:09,458
I don't know what to make of
this youth group of Bobby's.
237
00:09:09,498 --> 00:09:11,159
Last night
he broke curfew,
238
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,758
but he was up
reading the Bible.
239
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,270
What do you
do with that?
240
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:17,101
Maybe you should punish
him Old Testament style.
241
00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:20,802
A religious boy like Bobby
would appreciate the irony.
242
00:09:20,843 --> 00:09:22,037
Bobby,
take that off.
243
00:09:22,078 --> 00:09:23,477
You can't wear
a T-shirt
244
00:09:23,512 --> 00:09:25,309
with that
word on it.
245
00:09:25,348 --> 00:09:27,407
Such vulgarity.
246
00:09:27,450 --> 00:09:30,613
Wait, which word, Hank...
Satan or sucks?
247
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,553
Well... either.
248
00:09:32,588 --> 00:09:34,453
Why not, Dad?
249
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:35,422
Satan does suck.
250
00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:36,482
I know, but...
251
00:09:36,525 --> 00:09:37,651
He's right, Hank.
252
00:09:37,693 --> 00:09:39,888
What does your shirt
say, "Satan Rules"?
253
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,460
So I was thinking.
254
00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:48,368
Why do criminals get
to have all the good food
255
00:09:48,404 --> 00:09:49,666
and we get nothing?
256
00:09:49,705 --> 00:09:52,674
Bill, you pay taxes,
aren't you outraged?
257
00:09:52,708 --> 00:09:53,697
Yes, I am!
258
00:09:53,743 --> 00:09:55,005
You know what?
259
00:09:55,044 --> 00:09:57,569
We should have
our own last meals.
260
00:09:57,613 --> 00:09:59,410
Hey man, talkin' 'bout
let's go over my place, man.
261
00:09:59,448 --> 00:10:01,177
It'd be just like a dang ol'
breakfast club, man,
262
00:10:01,217 --> 00:10:03,117
'cept we're going for dinner
instead, you know, like,
263
00:10:03,152 --> 00:10:05,279
like, got no Judd
Nelson either, man.
264
00:10:05,321 --> 00:10:06,652
There you go!
265
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,680
The first meeting
of the Last Meal Club
266
00:10:08,724 --> 00:10:10,954
convenes at Boomhauer's!
267
00:10:12,428 --> 00:10:14,919
I love it
when we do things!
268
00:10:14,964 --> 00:10:16,829
And then Cain
was all like,
269
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,699
"I ain't supposed to be
looking out for my bro, yo."
270
00:10:19,735 --> 00:10:22,260
I didn't know
that was in Genesis.
271
00:10:22,305 --> 00:10:25,103
Bobby, you are so good
at this.
272
00:10:25,141 --> 00:10:27,837
I owe it all
to my Extreme Teen Bible.
273
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,538
And Pastor K.
274
00:10:29,578 --> 00:10:32,877
He wrote a 22-minute song
about the Disciples.
275
00:10:32,915 --> 00:10:34,974
And if he can remember
all the words,
276
00:10:35,017 --> 00:10:37,508
he's going to play it
at Messiah Fest.
277
00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,282
Wow, Messiah Fest!
278
00:10:39,322 --> 00:10:41,017
Are you going to go?
279
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,150
Uh, I don't know
if Dad'll let me.
280
00:10:43,192 --> 00:10:44,625
It'll take a miracle
281
00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:46,218
to make him
come around,
282
00:10:46,262 --> 00:10:48,958
but I guess that's what
the Bible is all about.
283
00:10:48,998 --> 00:10:51,364
Can I get
a what-what?
284
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,198
(electric guitar playing)
285
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:55,225
Yeah.
286
00:10:55,271 --> 00:10:56,898
Hear the Word.
287
00:10:56,939 --> 00:10:58,702
Rejoice.
288
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,038
Uh-huh.
289
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,907
(playing stops)
290
00:11:01,944 --> 00:11:03,138
Yeah. Uh-huh.
291
00:11:03,179 --> 00:11:04,271
What were you doing
there, brother?
292
00:11:04,313 --> 00:11:06,474
Sorry, I was just
feeling the spirit.
293
00:11:06,515 --> 00:11:08,176
No, man, it works.
294
00:11:08,217 --> 00:11:11,152
That's just what I need to help
spread the fire at Messiah Fest.
295
00:11:11,187 --> 00:11:13,052
How'd you feel
about backing me up?
296
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,387
On stage?
297
00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:16,823
Relax, brother.
298
00:11:18,027 --> 00:11:19,494
Listen, when I get
nervous before a gig,
299
00:11:19,528 --> 00:11:21,018
I just look at this.
300
00:11:23,466 --> 00:11:25,400
Cool.
301
00:11:28,404 --> 00:11:31,430
Hey, Dad, what do you
think of this?
302
00:11:31,474 --> 00:11:34,102
Well, Bobby, it's,
uh, so, uh...
303
00:11:34,143 --> 00:11:35,371
What am I looking at?
304
00:11:35,411 --> 00:11:37,311
It's my tattoo.
305
00:11:37,346 --> 00:11:39,610
No got dang way.
306
00:11:39,648 --> 00:11:40,842
Dad, it's okay.
307
00:11:40,883 --> 00:11:42,475
This is what you do now
308
00:11:42,518 --> 00:11:45,385
when you want to give
mad respect to the Lord.
309
00:11:45,421 --> 00:11:47,218
The Lord has been
getting mad respect
310
00:11:47,256 --> 00:11:48,621
since the beginning
of time.
311
00:11:48,657 --> 00:11:50,625
He doesn't need you
defacing your body.
312
00:11:50,659 --> 00:11:53,025
But...
313
00:11:53,062 --> 00:11:54,086
No son of mine
is getting a tattoo.
314
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,256
End of discussion.
315
00:11:57,133 --> 00:12:00,034
Hey, I know what this is.
316
00:12:00,069 --> 00:12:01,263
It's a test.
317
00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:02,964
Like with Job.
318
00:12:03,005 --> 00:12:05,701
(chuckling):
You rascal!
319
00:12:10,079 --> 00:12:11,808
You know that comedian's joke
320
00:12:11,847 --> 00:12:15,044
about how you always get
the cart with a wobbly wheel?
321
00:12:15,084 --> 00:12:16,210
It's so true.
322
00:12:16,252 --> 00:12:18,083
I love that comedian.
323
00:12:19,688 --> 00:12:21,781
Hmm, I still not sure.
324
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:25,385
Hey, hillbillies.
325
00:12:25,428 --> 00:12:26,918
Why so much
in cart?
326
00:12:26,962 --> 00:12:28,896
Food stamps
expire today?
327
00:12:28,931 --> 00:12:29,920
No.
328
00:12:29,965 --> 00:12:31,694
We're cooking our last meals.
329
00:12:31,734 --> 00:12:34,066
Why should you have
to kill somebody
330
00:12:34,103 --> 00:12:35,570
just to get some
decent food around here?
331
00:12:35,604 --> 00:12:37,196
Bah, you
wouldn't know...
332
00:12:37,239 --> 00:12:38,797
Hey, is that
filo dough?
333
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,866
Talkin' 'bout spana-dang
ol' kopita man.
334
00:12:40,910 --> 00:12:44,402
Hmm, the quest
for the perfect meal.
335
00:12:44,447 --> 00:12:46,881
Of course it must
start with shrimp.
336
00:12:48,951 --> 00:12:52,045
Dead man eating...
shrimp!
337
00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,752
Why didn't
Jesus catch me?
338
00:12:59,795 --> 00:13:01,262
He has a plan for you.
339
00:13:01,297 --> 00:13:03,231
The Miller Flip
just isn't part of it yet.
340
00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:06,262
Are you Pastor K?
341
00:13:06,302 --> 00:13:07,428
Yeah, brother.
342
00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:08,801
I'm Bobby Hill's father,
343
00:13:08,838 --> 00:13:10,430
and I want to talk to you
about this garbage
344
00:13:10,473 --> 00:13:12,566
you're teaching my boy.
345
00:13:12,608 --> 00:13:13,973
Well, hold up.
346
00:13:14,009 --> 00:13:15,033
You don't want me teaching
your son about God?
347
00:13:15,077 --> 00:13:16,601
Well,
that part's fine.
348
00:13:16,645 --> 00:13:17,839
It's the other junk.
349
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,973
The obscene clothing,
the tattoos...
350
00:13:20,015 --> 00:13:21,277
Dude, you don't
have to act
351
00:13:21,317 --> 00:13:22,784
or dress a certain
way for God.
352
00:13:22,818 --> 00:13:25,514
You can hang with Him
anyway, anywhere.
353
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:27,818
Don't you think Jesus is right
here on this half pipe?
354
00:13:27,857 --> 00:13:30,724
I'm sure He's a lot of places
He doesn't want to be.
355
00:13:30,759 --> 00:13:32,420
What's more important...
356
00:13:32,461 --> 00:13:34,827
that Bobby's a Christian or
that he has a proper haircut?
357
00:13:34,864 --> 00:13:36,559
I'm not giving up on either.
358
00:13:36,599 --> 00:13:38,328
Now stay away from my boy.
359
00:13:40,703 --> 00:13:42,534
BOBBY: Pharaoh's
on our tail, Mom.
360
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:43,833
My strength is low.
361
00:13:43,873 --> 00:13:45,465
I need some milk and honey.
362
00:13:45,508 --> 00:13:46,497
That's enough.
363
00:13:46,542 --> 00:13:47,509
This whole thing
364
00:13:47,543 --> 00:13:48,737
stops now.
365
00:13:48,777 --> 00:13:50,005
You're getting rid
of all this stuff
366
00:13:50,045 --> 00:13:51,273
and you're going
to church
367
00:13:51,313 --> 00:13:53,372
in a suit and tie
like we've always done.
368
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:54,643
But Pastor K
says...
369
00:13:54,683 --> 00:13:56,810
And you can forget
about that Pastor K.
370
00:13:56,852 --> 00:13:58,843
PEGGY:
Woo! I am out of Egypt!
371
00:13:58,888 --> 00:14:01,015
And look at Moses dance!
372
00:14:01,056 --> 00:14:02,853
Peggy, this is serious.
373
00:14:02,892 --> 00:14:04,826
Oh, Hank, you are overreacting.
374
00:14:04,860 --> 00:14:08,023
These are good Christian kids
having good Christian fun.
375
00:14:08,063 --> 00:14:09,690
You think this is fun?
376
00:14:09,732 --> 00:14:11,757
He looks like a burglar.
377
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,233
What?
378
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,998
What's that in your ear?
379
00:14:15,037 --> 00:14:16,504
My testimonial.
380
00:14:16,539 --> 00:14:18,473
No. Uh-uh.
That's an earring.
381
00:14:18,507 --> 00:14:19,735
You're grounded, mister.
382
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:22,073
But Messiah Fest
is this afternoon.
383
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:24,511
I'm Pastor K's backup guy.
384
00:14:24,547 --> 00:14:25,844
Mom?
385
00:14:25,881 --> 00:14:27,906
I was on board with
baptizing Ladybird,
386
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,008
but how could you destroy
387
00:14:29,051 --> 00:14:30,712
those perfect little
ears I gave you?
388
00:14:30,753 --> 00:14:31,742
Hand it over.
389
00:14:38,260 --> 00:14:42,959
You guys just don't understand
how I feel about Jesus!
390
00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:01,540
(Hank groans)
391
00:15:01,584 --> 00:15:02,983
Messiah Fest.
392
00:15:03,018 --> 00:15:05,680
When I was young,
393
00:15:05,721 --> 00:15:07,052
you went to rock and roll
concerts on Saturday night
394
00:15:07,089 --> 00:15:09,080
and asked for forgiveness
on Sunday.
395
00:15:09,124 --> 00:15:11,058
Now it's all mixed together.
396
00:15:11,093 --> 00:15:12,492
I don't know, Hank.
397
00:15:12,528 --> 00:15:15,088
Something about scraping off
that bumper sticker
398
00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:16,757
seems a little sacrilegious.
399
00:15:16,799 --> 00:15:19,461
Bobby loves God,
you worship the devil.
400
00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:21,298
Dinners must be tense.
401
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,464
This has nothing to do
with religion.
402
00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:25,803
I've always been
against vandalism,
403
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:28,401
be it on my bumper
or in my son's ear.
404
00:15:28,444 --> 00:15:30,309
I'm just setting
things right.
405
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,644
Now I'm going to finish
the job in Bobby's room.
406
00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:33,943
(sighs)
407
00:15:33,983 --> 00:15:36,577
How many Footprints
posters does a kid need?
408
00:15:40,389 --> 00:15:41,754
Bobby?
409
00:15:44,727 --> 00:15:47,719
Ah, damn, his Bible's gone.
410
00:15:47,763 --> 00:15:51,358
(rock music playing)
411
00:15:53,602 --> 00:15:54,899
(scratching)
412
00:15:54,937 --> 00:15:56,734
(laughing)
413
00:15:56,772 --> 00:15:59,036
(chanting):
Praise him! Praise him!
414
00:16:00,809 --> 00:16:03,004
Pastor K, what do you think?
415
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:05,513
Sharp.
416
00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:07,037
Well, I better go now.
417
00:16:07,082 --> 00:16:09,414
One of the bands
asked me to leave
418
00:16:09,451 --> 00:16:11,851
before I give
them impure thoughts.
419
00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:15,288
Hey, K, dig the chain. New?
420
00:16:15,324 --> 00:16:17,053
Yeah. Thanks, Pop.
421
00:16:17,092 --> 00:16:18,684
That was your dad?
422
00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:20,319
Yeah, he's a roadie
for The A-Men.
423
00:16:20,362 --> 00:16:21,659
They've been
spreading the word
424
00:16:21,697 --> 00:16:23,062
across North America
all summer.
425
00:16:23,098 --> 00:16:24,065
So, you ready to rock?
426
00:16:24,099 --> 00:16:25,327
Let's do it.
427
00:16:25,367 --> 00:16:26,891
(ska music playing)
428
00:16:26,935 --> 00:16:30,735
♪♪ W-W-W-Want a What a burger,
I'm all out of dough ♪♪
429
00:16:30,773 --> 00:16:33,571
♪♪ It's okay,
it's okay 'cause I know ♪♪
430
00:16:33,609 --> 00:16:36,407
♪♪ God will provide,
He'll provide for us all ♪♪
431
00:16:36,445 --> 00:16:39,175
♪♪ Might not get a large fry,
but we'll always get a small. ♪♪
432
00:16:39,214 --> 00:16:41,239
(shudders)
433
00:16:41,283 --> 00:16:44,810
Oh, it all smells so good.
434
00:16:44,853 --> 00:16:46,411
I bet bonny Prince Charles
435
00:16:46,455 --> 00:16:48,252
eats like this every night.
436
00:16:48,290 --> 00:16:53,057
I would be proud to make this
sumptuous banquet my last meal.
437
00:16:54,463 --> 00:16:56,158
Bon appetit!
438
00:16:56,198 --> 00:16:59,964
Remember, after this, the
next flavor in your mouth
439
00:17:00,002 --> 00:17:02,436
will be the sour taste of death.
440
00:17:02,471 --> 00:17:04,439
(all chuckle)
441
00:17:04,473 --> 00:17:06,100
(coughs)
442
00:17:06,141 --> 00:17:07,108
Oh...
443
00:17:07,142 --> 00:17:08,734
No, no.
444
00:17:10,345 --> 00:17:13,781
Well, some, dang ol'...
dang ol' dig in, man.
445
00:17:13,816 --> 00:17:16,444
Uh, here, Bill,
let me serve you.
446
00:17:16,485 --> 00:17:18,453
But I don't want to die!
447
00:17:18,487 --> 00:17:20,887
Got dang, man, talkin' bout
dang ol' superstitions, man.
448
00:17:20,923 --> 00:17:22,447
Pass me that dang ol' salt, man,
449
00:17:22,491 --> 00:17:25,255
I'm gonna throw a little bit of
that crap over my shoulder, man.
450
00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:30,391
Yeah, uh, I had a big lunch
that, uh, didn't tempt fate.
451
00:17:30,432 --> 00:17:32,491
Oh, coming!
Yeah, you hear that?
452
00:17:32,534 --> 00:17:33,728
Minh call me.
453
00:17:33,769 --> 00:17:35,396
(yells)
454
00:17:35,437 --> 00:17:36,768
Whoa.
455
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:40,340
Save yourselves!
456
00:17:40,375 --> 00:17:42,775
Yeah, but... don't...
don't leave me alone!
457
00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:45,609
I eat when I'm scared!
458
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:49,981
(whimpering, muffled mumbling)
459
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:54,854
Mm, shrimp.
460
00:17:54,890 --> 00:17:56,858
(rock music playing)
461
00:17:56,892 --> 00:18:00,851
Let's make some noise!
462
00:18:00,896 --> 00:18:01,555
(horrified gasp)
463
00:18:01,597 --> 00:18:02,894
I say Holy,
464
00:18:02,931 --> 00:18:03,898
you say Ghost.
465
00:18:03,932 --> 00:18:05,194
Holy!
CROWD:
Ghost!
466
00:18:05,234 --> 00:18:05,859
Holy!
467
00:18:05,901 --> 00:18:06,925
Ghost!
468
00:18:06,969 --> 00:18:08,300
♪♪ The Lord is my Shepherd ♪♪
469
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:09,861
♪♪ I shall not want ♪♪
470
00:18:09,905 --> 00:18:12,169
♪♪ He makes me lie down
in green pastures ♪♪
471
00:18:12,207 --> 00:18:13,572
They're green, y'all!
472
00:18:13,609 --> 00:18:16,100
♪♪ He leads me beside
the still waters ♪♪
473
00:18:16,145 --> 00:18:17,373
♪♪ He restores my soul ♪♪
474
00:18:17,412 --> 00:18:19,175
Aw-yeah!
475
00:18:22,084 --> 00:18:23,381
Amen!
476
00:18:23,418 --> 00:18:24,885
(cheering)
477
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,012
(gasps)
478
00:18:27,923 --> 00:18:30,187
Dad, we're in the middle
of the show!
479
00:18:30,225 --> 00:18:31,658
Well, I hope
you enjoyed it,
480
00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:34,389
'cause it's the last time
you're leaving your room
481
00:18:34,429 --> 00:18:35,453
until you graduate.
482
00:18:35,497 --> 00:18:36,623
Now, let's go.
483
00:18:36,665 --> 00:18:38,098
(cheering)
484
00:18:38,133 --> 00:18:40,465
Hey, what's up?
We still have another set.
485
00:18:40,502 --> 00:18:42,231
I'm taking my son home.
486
00:18:42,271 --> 00:18:43,761
I can't believe you, Dad.
487
00:18:43,806 --> 00:18:46,536
You're embarrassing me
in front of the pastor!
488
00:18:46,575 --> 00:18:48,202
Mr. Hill, you just don't get it.
489
00:18:48,243 --> 00:18:49,801
This is how we testify.
490
00:18:49,845 --> 00:18:51,540
(yelling, singing):
** Praise him! **
491
00:18:51,580 --> 00:18:52,979
(shudders)
492
00:18:53,015 --> 00:18:55,313
Can't you see you're not making
Christianity better?
493
00:18:55,350 --> 00:18:57,580
You're just making
rock and roll worse.
494
00:18:57,619 --> 00:18:59,086
You people
are all the same.
495
00:18:59,121 --> 00:19:01,146
You look at us
and think we're freaks.
496
00:19:01,190 --> 00:19:03,055
Come on,
even Jesus had long hair.
497
00:19:03,091 --> 00:19:05,184
Only because I
wasn't his dad.
498
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,218
Is there a problem here, K?
499
00:19:07,262 --> 00:19:08,354
Yeah, Pop.
500
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,490
This dude
won't let Bobby praise J.C.
501
00:19:10,532 --> 00:19:11,897
And he's ruining my show.
502
00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:14,234
Look, I just want my son
503
00:19:14,269 --> 00:19:15,600
back in regular church
504
00:19:15,637 --> 00:19:18,299
obeying his normal parents
and acting right.
505
00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:20,433
See, Pop,
he's holding him back.
506
00:19:20,475 --> 00:19:21,942
What're you doing, Kevin?
507
00:19:21,977 --> 00:19:23,774
You forgot Number Five.
508
00:19:23,812 --> 00:19:24,403
Huh?
509
00:19:28,650 --> 00:19:31,278
Never come between
a kid and his dad.
510
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:35,416
If the man doesn't want his boy
praising like you, it's cool.
511
00:19:35,457 --> 00:19:37,152
Yeah, but...
Now go finish your show
512
00:19:37,192 --> 00:19:39,285
before they start
mashing out of anger
513
00:19:39,328 --> 00:19:41,193
instead of jubilation.
514
00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:42,356
Fine.
515
00:19:42,397 --> 00:19:43,955
Sorry about that, friend.
516
00:19:43,999 --> 00:19:45,432
Oh, that's okay.
517
00:19:45,467 --> 00:19:48,061
I got to admit, when you first
walked up I didn't think
518
00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:50,230
you and I were going to be
on the same page.
519
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,967
I feel where
you're coming from.
520
00:19:52,007 --> 00:19:53,304
Teenagers.
521
00:19:53,342 --> 00:19:54,206
Amen.
522
00:19:55,477 --> 00:19:56,808
Let's go, Bobby.
523
00:20:01,984 --> 00:20:04,077
You can give me the
stink eye all you want,
524
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,019
but it's not going
to change anything.
525
00:20:06,054 --> 00:20:07,544
Fine.
But when I'm 18,
526
00:20:07,589 --> 00:20:10,820
I'm going to do
whatever I want for the Lord.
527
00:20:10,859 --> 00:20:13,657
Tattoos, piercings,
the works.
528
00:20:13,695 --> 00:20:15,629
Well, I'll
take that chance.
529
00:20:15,664 --> 00:20:18,098
Come here, there's
something I want to show you.
530
00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:23,130
Remember this?
531
00:20:23,171 --> 00:20:24,604
My Bean Bag Buddy?
532
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:28,235
Oh, man, I can't believe
I collected those things.
533
00:20:28,277 --> 00:20:29,437
They're so lame.
534
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:32,345
You didn't think so
five years ago.
535
00:20:32,381 --> 00:20:34,349
And how about
your virtual pet?
536
00:20:34,383 --> 00:20:36,146
You used to carry
this thing everywhere.
537
00:20:36,184 --> 00:20:37,344
Then you got tired of it,
538
00:20:37,386 --> 00:20:39,286
forgot to feed
it, and it died.
539
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:43,189
I look like such a dork.
540
00:20:43,225 --> 00:20:44,783
I know how you feel.
541
00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:46,623
(laughs)
542
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:49,130
I never thought that
Members Only jacket
543
00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:50,358
would go out of style.
544
00:20:50,399 --> 00:20:51,889
But it did.
545
00:20:51,934 --> 00:20:54,596
I know you think that stuff
you're doing now is cool,
546
00:20:54,636 --> 00:20:57,230
but in a few years you're
gonna think it's lame.
547
00:20:57,272 --> 00:20:58,637
And I don't want the, uh,
548
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:02,007
Lord to, uh, you know,
end up in this box.
549
00:21:03,478 --> 00:21:04,638
I got you, Dad.
550
00:21:07,883 --> 00:21:09,748
Hey, what's this picture?
551
00:21:09,785 --> 00:21:12,720
Mom used to have blond hair?
552
00:21:12,754 --> 00:21:16,121
HANK: Farrah Fawcett
was very popular back then.
553
00:21:16,158 --> 00:21:20,788
Captioned by Media Access Group
at WGBH access. Wgbh. Org
Ripped By mstoll
554
00:21:53,795 --> 00:21:56,389
HANK:
You know what's not cool? Hell.
38124
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