All language subtitles for 345346

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:46,764 --> 00:00:48,265 人到中年的秦奋 2 00:00:48,265 --> 00:00:49,801 在网上征婚 3 00:00:49,968 --> 00:00:52,871 引来形形色色心怀叵测的女士 4 00:00:52,871 --> 00:00:54,004 与之相亲 5 00:00:56,908 --> 00:00:58,208 那你认为 6 00:00:59,109 --> 00:01:02,012 多长时间亲热一回算是不频繁呢 7 00:01:06,551 --> 00:01:07,952 一个月一次 8 00:01:09,787 --> 00:01:10,787 一年一次 9 00:01:11,255 --> 00:01:14,124 情陷泥沼的空姐梁笑笑 10 00:01:14,124 --> 00:01:15,359 为摆脱虐恋 11 00:01:15,459 --> 00:01:17,427 抱着分散注意力的目的 12 00:01:17,461 --> 00:01:18,863 和秦奋约会 13 00:01:19,764 --> 00:01:22,165 有的人是情人眼里才是西施 14 00:01:22,466 --> 00:01:23,467 不过分地说 15 00:01:23,801 --> 00:01:25,102 仇人眼里你都是西施 16 00:01:26,069 --> 00:01:27,271 见了几面之后 17 00:01:27,371 --> 00:01:28,238 笑笑发现 18 00:01:28,238 --> 00:01:29,473 此人很有趣 19 00:01:30,107 --> 00:01:31,108 于是提出 20 00:01:31,108 --> 00:01:33,310 让秦奋陪她去一趟北海道 21 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:34,779 洗心革面 22 00:01:35,013 --> 00:01:36,513 所有妻子该尽的责任 23 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:37,916 我都可以做得到 24 00:01:38,883 --> 00:01:41,019 但是你要允许我心里头有别人 25 00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:42,119 三心二意 26 00:01:42,119 --> 00:01:42,921 貌合神离 27 00:01:42,921 --> 00:01:44,022 你是我对手吗 28 00:01:44,121 --> 00:01:45,289 你不拿我当回事 29 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,926 我就把你当送上门的一便宜给占了呗 30 00:01:48,158 --> 00:01:49,928 两个貌合神离的人 31 00:01:49,928 --> 00:01:51,128 踏上了旅程 32 00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:53,430 旅途中 33 00:01:53,430 --> 00:01:55,265 秦奋幺蛾子百出 34 00:01:55,399 --> 00:01:57,802 闹出了许多不着调的笑话 35 00:01:58,036 --> 00:01:59,536 秦奋的诙谐幽默 36 00:01:59,871 --> 00:02:02,807 让为情所困的笑笑忍俊不禁 37 00:02:02,807 --> 00:02:03,908 时有开怀 38 00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:07,277 也因为对她的种种包容 39 00:02:07,277 --> 00:02:08,880 让她感到了温暖 40 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:13,317 秦奋的朋友李香山和芒果的婚姻 41 00:02:13,317 --> 00:02:14,752 走到了尽头 42 00:02:14,752 --> 00:02:17,822 秦奋为二人张罗了一场离婚典礼 43 00:02:18,121 --> 00:02:19,423 笑笑看在眼里 44 00:02:19,523 --> 00:02:21,325 对婚姻更加畏惧 45 00:02:21,993 --> 00:02:23,962 当秦奋向她求婚时 46 00:02:23,962 --> 00:02:25,997 笑笑提出和秦奋试婚 47 00:02:26,296 --> 00:02:27,331 小俩口 48 00:02:27,331 --> 00:02:28,532 头一宿就分居 49 00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:30,835 传出去让人笑话 50 00:02:30,835 --> 00:02:33,503 你的蜜月已经结束了大哥 51 00:02:33,503 --> 00:02:34,973 你对我已经冷淡了 52 00:02:34,973 --> 00:02:35,840 我不冷淡 53 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,140 我热得跟一盆火似的 54 00:02:37,274 --> 00:02:39,376 两人的试婚并不成功 55 00:02:39,476 --> 00:02:41,478 双方都刻意捉弄对方 56 00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:42,880 往砸了演 57 00:02:44,281 --> 00:02:46,751 到后来都有些意兴阑珊 58 00:02:46,884 --> 00:02:48,285 终以笑笑的出走 59 00:02:48,285 --> 00:02:49,386 而告破裂 60 00:02:51,321 --> 00:02:53,024 李香山不走运 61 00:02:53,024 --> 00:02:54,993 长了恶性黑色素瘤 62 00:02:55,192 --> 00:02:56,259 不久于人世 63 00:02:57,127 --> 00:02:57,962 临终前 64 00:02:57,962 --> 00:02:59,931 秦奋为他操持了一场 65 00:02:59,931 --> 00:03:01,365 人生告别会 66 00:03:02,466 --> 00:03:05,870 又对闻讯赶来哭肿了眼的笑笑说 67 00:03:06,070 --> 00:03:08,271 婚姻怎么选都是错的 68 00:03:08,973 --> 00:03:10,407 长久的婚姻 69 00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:12,142 就是将错就错 70 00:03:14,879 --> 00:03:16,213 香山的遗言 71 00:03:16,313 --> 00:03:19,483 让秦奋和笑笑心里的余烬复燃 72 00:03:19,917 --> 00:03:21,284 一辈子很短 73 00:03:23,186 --> 00:03:25,389 我愿意和你将错就错 74 00:03:26,090 --> 00:03:26,824 川川 75 00:03:26,991 --> 00:03:27,991 听你的 76 00:03:28,158 --> 00:03:29,961 你觉得这个人可信吗 77 00:03:30,327 --> 00:03:31,328 还行吧 78 00:03:32,229 --> 00:03:34,164 他也没比其他人更坏 79 00:03:35,232 --> 00:03:36,034 就这样 80 00:03:36,034 --> 00:03:36,433 笑笑 81 00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:37,334 这朵鲜花 82 00:03:37,334 --> 00:03:38,568 左躲右躲 83 00:03:38,568 --> 00:03:40,237 还是插在了秦奋 84 00:03:40,504 --> 00:03:42,006 这坨牛粪上 85 00:03:42,907 --> 00:03:45,143 时间来到2031年 86 00:03:45,143 --> 00:03:48,445 秦奋七十岁生日两周前 87 00:03:57,187 --> 00:03:58,355 我们阿卡帕尼 88 00:03:58,355 --> 00:04:01,125 人工智能仿生科技集团 89 00:04:01,125 --> 00:04:04,394 经过二十年不懈的科研攻关 90 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,831 跌倒再爬起来 91 00:04:06,931 --> 00:04:09,033 钱没了再借钱 92 00:04:09,266 --> 00:04:10,500 头破血流 93 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,500 也不死心 94 00:04:12,036 --> 00:04:13,871 终于研制了一款 95 00:04:13,871 --> 00:04:15,039 高智商 96 00:04:15,039 --> 00:04:16,206 高情商 97 00:04:16,206 --> 00:04:17,541 可以乱真的 98 00:04:17,541 --> 00:04:19,209 人工智能人 99 00:04:19,811 --> 00:04:21,311 那么这款智能人 100 00:04:21,311 --> 00:04:25,016 使用了中国广电的通信网路 101 00:04:25,016 --> 00:04:27,284 信号连接特别快 102 00:04:27,885 --> 00:04:29,386 说是机器人 103 00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:32,190 可身上没有任何金属部件 104 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:35,292 全部运用仿生科技 105 00:04:35,827 --> 00:04:37,195 真正完成了 106 00:04:37,195 --> 00:04:40,198 从矽基到碳基的进化 107 00:04:41,132 --> 00:04:44,969 就是一款跟真人没有分别的机器人 108 00:04:45,069 --> 00:04:46,804 唯一的区别就是 109 00:04:46,804 --> 00:04:48,005 比人聪明 110 00:04:48,271 --> 00:04:49,506 比人听话 111 00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:50,875 比人实诚 112 00:04:51,209 --> 00:04:52,375 百闻不如一见 113 00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:53,509 那范老 114 00:04:53,778 --> 00:04:56,313 能否向广大网友展示一下 115 00:04:56,313 --> 00:04:58,116 阿卡帕尼的研究成果呢 116 00:04:58,983 --> 00:04:59,983 好 117 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:03,120 朱迪 118 00:05:10,427 --> 00:05:12,096 我是综合型智能人 119 00:05:12,130 --> 00:05:14,464 负责产品的售后完善改进服务 120 00:05:14,464 --> 00:05:15,767 你是机器人 121 00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:17,500 不可能 122 00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:18,903 我能握下你的手吗 123 00:05:18,903 --> 00:05:19,903 演 124 00:05:20,071 --> 00:05:21,172 你也是托儿 125 00:05:21,371 --> 00:05:23,775 我的体温现在是36.1°C 126 00:05:25,475 --> 00:05:26,475 真软 127 00:05:27,812 --> 00:05:29,213 她要不是机器人 128 00:05:29,213 --> 00:05:30,982 我都想跟她谈恋爱了 129 00:05:32,315 --> 00:05:33,985 怎么还起鸡皮疙瘩了 130 00:05:36,286 --> 00:05:37,989 你的话太肉麻了 131 00:05:37,989 --> 00:05:40,490 这是我们的一项高科技专利 132 00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:42,526 听到肉麻的话 133 00:05:42,794 --> 00:05:44,962 会产生应激反应 134 00:05:45,196 --> 00:05:46,898 这也太仿真了吧 135 00:05:47,497 --> 00:05:49,200 那你有感情吗 136 00:05:49,366 --> 00:05:51,803 会喜欢或者讨厌一个人吗 137 00:05:51,903 --> 00:05:52,904 理论上不会 138 00:05:53,204 --> 00:05:54,872 因为我们没有感情 139 00:05:54,972 --> 00:05:57,307 但我们会读取客户的情绪波动 140 00:05:57,374 --> 00:05:59,376 来做出相应的情感表达 141 00:05:59,476 --> 00:06:00,477 也就是说 142 00:06:00,978 --> 00:06:03,181 客户喜欢或者讨厌的 143 00:06:03,380 --> 00:06:05,782 也会被你们喜欢或者讨厌 144 00:06:06,083 --> 00:06:07,083 是的 145 00:06:07,118 --> 00:06:09,086 见人说人话 146 00:06:09,086 --> 00:06:10,855 见鬼说鬼话 147 00:06:10,855 --> 00:06:13,790 也是我们发明的一项专利 148 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,293 那我也想订个像她这样的 149 00:06:15,358 --> 00:06:16,093 行吗 150 00:06:16,294 --> 00:06:18,062 能说说您的目的吗 151 00:06:18,229 --> 00:06:19,931 宝强 今日要闻 152 00:06:20,363 --> 00:06:21,363 中 153 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:24,902 今日人民币对美元汇率为1:1.11 154 00:06:24,902 --> 00:06:26,503 首次实现汇率逆转 155 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:27,404 欧洲各国 156 00:06:27,404 --> 00:06:30,208 争相购入人民币作为外汇储备货币 157 00:06:30,407 --> 00:06:32,809 中国方面日前拒绝了美方提出的 158 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,778 希望把储备在上海的黄金 159 00:06:34,778 --> 00:06:36,247 运回美国的要求 160 00:06:36,314 --> 00:06:37,215 美方表示 161 00:06:37,281 --> 00:06:39,951 中方的这一决定将严重影响和动摇 162 00:06:39,951 --> 00:06:43,020 其在国际金融领域的领导地位和信誉 163 00:06:43,553 --> 00:06:45,156 在昨晚举行的一场 164 00:06:45,156 --> 00:06:48,292 第25届足球世界杯亚洲区资格赛上 165 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,794 中国足球队以0:0的比分 166 00:06:50,794 --> 00:06:53,797 艰难逼平本组实力垫底的汶莱国家队 167 00:06:53,965 --> 00:06:55,867 从而以两负一平的战绩 168 00:06:55,867 --> 00:06:58,970 提前失去了参加亚洲区预选赛的资格 169 00:06:59,337 --> 00:07:00,972 随着数位货币的使用 170 00:07:00,972 --> 00:07:01,504 最后一位 171 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,473 因盗窃现金获刑的罪犯 172 00:07:03,473 --> 00:07:05,343 已于昨日刑满出狱 173 00:07:05,343 --> 00:07:06,043 至此 174 00:07:06,043 --> 00:07:07,278 我国正式步入 175 00:07:07,278 --> 00:07:08,946 天下无贼的时代 176 00:07:09,446 --> 00:07:10,147 宝强 177 00:07:10,147 --> 00:07:11,147 现在几度啊 178 00:07:11,315 --> 00:07:12,315 41度 179 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:13,515 咋了叔 180 00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:14,750 有点热 181 00:07:15,752 --> 00:07:17,288 给咱家降个雨二十分钟 182 00:07:17,288 --> 00:07:18,022 中呗 183 00:07:18,189 --> 00:07:19,290 咋不中咧 184 00:07:19,422 --> 00:07:20,457 您说了算 185 00:07:21,225 --> 00:07:21,926 雨 186 00:07:21,926 --> 00:07:22,926 这就到 187 00:07:59,397 --> 00:08:00,797 是你吗 188 00:08:01,032 --> 00:08:02,333 那还能是谁呢 189 00:08:03,167 --> 00:08:04,201 老范 190 00:08:07,537 --> 00:08:09,073 快进来别淋着了 191 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:09,941 没事 192 00:08:09,941 --> 00:08:11,208 她不怕淋 193 00:08:11,208 --> 00:08:11,976 皮实着呢 194 00:08:12,043 --> 00:08:13,344 对了 忘了她不是人了 195 00:08:13,476 --> 00:08:13,978 快 196 00:08:13,978 --> 00:08:14,979 宝强别下了 197 00:08:14,979 --> 00:08:15,979 来客了 198 00:08:16,113 --> 00:08:17,113 进来进来 199 00:08:24,521 --> 00:08:25,189 来 200 00:08:25,189 --> 00:08:26,189 介绍一下 201 00:08:26,390 --> 00:08:26,923 朱迪 202 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,292 我知道知道 203 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,227 刚才在网上 204 00:08:30,261 --> 00:08:31,861 看见你的采访了 205 00:08:32,396 --> 00:08:34,332 还知道她能起鸡皮疙瘩 206 00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:36,932 不好意思 207 00:08:37,068 --> 00:08:38,302 让您见笑了 208 00:08:41,072 --> 00:08:43,274 这机器人还会脸红呢 209 00:08:46,143 --> 00:08:47,143 老范 210 00:08:47,911 --> 00:08:49,146 咱不是外人 211 00:08:49,546 --> 00:08:51,848 你确定她不是真人 212 00:08:52,482 --> 00:08:53,883 这有骗人的吗 213 00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:55,919 怎么确定她不是真人呢 214 00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:57,187 很简单 215 00:08:59,556 --> 00:09:00,556 那什么 216 00:09:01,192 --> 00:09:02,192 你吹气 217 00:09:07,298 --> 00:09:08,298 朱迪 218 00:09:08,565 --> 00:09:09,565 吹气 219 00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:14,803 没气 220 00:09:14,871 --> 00:09:16,407 但能模仿人的呼吸 221 00:09:17,108 --> 00:09:18,108 人会的 222 00:09:18,175 --> 00:09:19,175 她都会 223 00:09:22,046 --> 00:09:22,812 朱迪 224 00:09:23,047 --> 00:09:24,181 你有心吗 225 00:09:24,315 --> 00:09:25,016 有啊 226 00:09:25,316 --> 00:09:26,916 你的心在哪边啊 227 00:09:27,184 --> 00:09:28,885 我的心在左边 228 00:09:29,186 --> 00:09:30,820 我的心在哪边啊 229 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,456 你的心也在左边 230 00:09:32,889 --> 00:09:33,889 不对 231 00:09:34,458 --> 00:09:36,360 我的心在你那边 232 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,429 这也会呀 233 00:09:38,429 --> 00:09:39,429 渣男 234 00:09:40,131 --> 00:09:41,198 没大没小的 235 00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:42,798 说点正经的 236 00:09:44,101 --> 00:09:45,101 弟妹呢 237 00:09:46,070 --> 00:09:47,505 十年没见了 238 00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:50,140 离了 239 00:09:50,341 --> 00:09:52,008 还不如离了呢 240 00:09:53,511 --> 00:09:55,179 2021年那年 241 00:09:55,179 --> 00:09:58,082 我和笑笑结婚十周年纪念旅行 242 00:09:58,449 --> 00:10:01,152 我们遇到一群满世界捡垃圾的人 243 00:10:01,318 --> 00:10:02,319 停停停 244 00:10:02,919 --> 00:10:03,920 停停停 245 00:10:09,926 --> 00:10:10,926 你好 246 00:10:11,195 --> 00:10:12,229 你们是从哪儿来的 247 00:10:13,064 --> 00:10:14,265 后来一打听 248 00:10:14,432 --> 00:10:15,999 才知道这些人呀 249 00:10:15,999 --> 00:10:17,334 来自世界各地 250 00:10:18,302 --> 00:10:19,470 干什么的都有 251 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,971 为了一个共同的目标 252 00:10:21,971 --> 00:10:23,240 环境保护 253 00:10:23,307 --> 00:10:24,808 走到一起来了 254 00:10:25,975 --> 00:10:27,278 笑笑被感动了 255 00:10:28,079 --> 00:10:29,979 哭着喊着要拉上我 256 00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:32,283 追随这帮人捡垃圾去 257 00:10:34,151 --> 00:10:35,151 怎么了你 258 00:10:35,486 --> 00:10:37,488 我终于找到我的人生目标了 259 00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:41,192 我们跟他们一起去捡垃圾吧 260 00:10:43,094 --> 00:10:44,395 跟他们一块捡垃圾 261 00:10:46,430 --> 00:10:48,031 不扔垃圾我能做到 262 00:10:48,765 --> 00:10:50,767 但下半辈子要专业捡垃圾 263 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,203 我还下不了这决心 264 00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:54,037 你要捡呢 265 00:10:54,037 --> 00:10:55,037 我不拦着 266 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,072 我回家等你 267 00:10:56,474 --> 00:10:58,775 你捡累了回来好好跟我过日子 268 00:10:59,176 --> 00:10:59,543 等着我 269 00:10:59,543 --> 00:11:01,178 笑笑被他们洗脑了 270 00:11:01,778 --> 00:11:04,548 义无反顾地加入了他们的行列 271 00:11:05,182 --> 00:11:07,451 旅行没结束就扔下我跟他们走了 272 00:11:09,553 --> 00:11:11,422 在国内捡不就完了吗 273 00:11:12,223 --> 00:11:13,823 干嘛还满世界捡去 274 00:11:14,158 --> 00:11:15,159 爱情都不要了 275 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:16,926 她说 276 00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,529 地球要是不存在了 277 00:11:19,028 --> 00:11:21,132 爱情也就无处安放了 278 00:11:21,232 --> 00:11:22,433 就一直没回来过 279 00:11:22,866 --> 00:11:23,866 没有 280 00:11:24,435 --> 00:11:25,536 还是两口子 281 00:11:25,536 --> 00:11:26,936 就是见不着面 282 00:11:27,837 --> 00:11:29,240 你确定她还活着 283 00:11:31,074 --> 00:11:31,875 你看 284 00:11:31,875 --> 00:11:33,843 换个地就寄个明信片来 285 00:11:34,411 --> 00:11:35,513 满世界捡呢 286 00:11:35,979 --> 00:11:36,980 四海为家 287 00:11:40,317 --> 00:11:42,219 这些年您一直一个人 288 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:44,087 心里让她占着 289 00:11:45,322 --> 00:11:46,524 装不下别人 290 00:11:48,057 --> 00:11:50,528 问世间情为何物 291 00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:52,929 废物 292 00:11:54,265 --> 00:11:55,366 要我说 293 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,401 你应该做做她的工作 294 00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:59,134 让她回来 295 00:12:00,036 --> 00:12:01,838 毕竟年纪都不小了 296 00:12:02,439 --> 00:12:04,241 她也不用手机 297 00:12:04,275 --> 00:12:05,543 只能她找我 298 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,044 我没搬家 299 00:12:08,044 --> 00:12:10,046 就是怕她回来找不着我 300 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:14,318 你来是找我有什么事吗 301 00:12:14,751 --> 00:12:15,751 别说 302 00:12:16,253 --> 00:12:17,254 让你猜中了 303 00:12:18,422 --> 00:12:19,822 找你真有点事 304 00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:22,226 向我推销你的机器人 305 00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:24,761 咱们这个关系 306 00:12:24,928 --> 00:12:26,029 回头我送你一个 307 00:12:26,530 --> 00:12:28,031 这个事以后再说 308 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,234 我们这个新产品 309 00:12:30,534 --> 00:12:33,237 在第一批提交申请的客户里头 310 00:12:33,237 --> 00:12:34,438 有一位女士 311 00:12:35,138 --> 00:12:37,073 点名要定制一款 312 00:12:37,441 --> 00:12:39,042 一模一样的你 313 00:12:40,143 --> 00:12:41,545 我们需要你一个授权 314 00:12:44,047 --> 00:12:45,047 我 315 00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:47,015 嗯 316 00:12:50,254 --> 00:12:51,254 她不喝水 317 00:12:53,457 --> 00:12:55,259 这位女士说你们认识 318 00:12:55,459 --> 00:12:58,061 这么多年她也是心里装不下别人 319 00:12:58,061 --> 00:12:59,062 就只有你 320 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,101 谁这么待见我呀 321 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:08,071 我有那么好吗 322 00:13:09,072 --> 00:13:11,841 这位女士希望得到您的全部授权 323 00:13:11,975 --> 00:13:14,245 包括但不限于肢体接触 324 00:13:15,144 --> 00:13:16,846 我都这岁数了 325 00:13:17,381 --> 00:13:18,449 得体吗 326 00:13:18,549 --> 00:13:20,451 她要定制一个年轻的你 327 00:13:20,783 --> 00:13:23,287 我们可以把侍寝这一项做一个限制 328 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,188 其实我也没那么矫情 329 00:13:25,289 --> 00:13:26,956 反正也不是真的我 330 00:13:27,156 --> 00:13:28,157 对 331 00:13:28,259 --> 00:13:30,159 就是个替代品 332 00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:32,463 那我就 333 00:13:34,163 --> 00:13:35,865 成全这位女士 334 00:13:36,267 --> 00:13:37,267 成全 335 00:13:37,301 --> 00:13:38,301 文件拿出来吧 336 00:13:42,005 --> 00:13:44,040 选项我都已经替您划上钩了 337 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:47,010 您就在这按上手印就行 338 00:13:49,313 --> 00:13:50,179 这人呐 339 00:13:50,179 --> 00:13:51,914 不能太把自己当回事 340 00:13:52,849 --> 00:13:54,485 成全别人恶心自己的事 341 00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:55,552 我也没少干 342 00:13:56,185 --> 00:13:57,185 不差这一回了 343 00:14:02,025 --> 00:14:04,361 敢问这位女士的芳名是 344 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,029 EMILY BABY 345 00:14:07,531 --> 00:14:08,532 卑鄙 346 00:14:10,199 --> 00:14:12,469 卑鄙的我倒是认识几个 347 00:14:13,036 --> 00:14:14,338 可都是男的呀 348 00:14:15,138 --> 00:14:17,140 我能申请见见她吗 349 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,343 按完手印就带您去 350 00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:21,076 好 351 00:14:40,364 --> 00:14:42,265 这是这位女士的工作室 352 00:14:42,566 --> 00:14:44,100 看来还是位艺术家 353 00:14:52,443 --> 00:14:53,443 哥 354 00:14:53,510 --> 00:14:54,511 您是 355 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:55,977 BABY 356 00:14:56,245 --> 00:14:57,280 EMILY BABY 357 00:15:02,251 --> 00:15:03,487 咱们俩认识吗 358 00:15:03,787 --> 00:15:04,787 讨厌 359 00:15:05,356 --> 00:15:06,356 人家建国 360 00:15:07,524 --> 00:15:09,325 城建公司的建国 361 00:15:10,427 --> 00:15:11,994 我变化有那么大吗 362 00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,329 你都认不出来了 363 00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:18,469 真够巧的 364 00:15:18,469 --> 00:15:19,770 十几年不见 365 00:15:19,770 --> 00:15:20,770 这碰上了 366 00:15:20,970 --> 00:15:21,970 巧什么呀 367 00:15:22,439 --> 00:15:23,774 我约的你 368 00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:25,174 你约的我 369 00:15:26,242 --> 00:15:27,243 爱茉莉 370 00:15:27,243 --> 00:15:28,244 人家改名了 371 00:15:28,445 --> 00:15:29,446 想给你一个惊喜 372 00:15:30,279 --> 00:15:32,281 你这不是给我捣乱吗 373 00:15:32,816 --> 00:15:34,818 我登的是一个征婚广告 374 00:15:34,884 --> 00:15:36,085 你广告上也没说 375 00:15:36,085 --> 00:15:37,085 男人免谈 376 00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:38,153 你还记得 377 00:15:38,822 --> 00:15:41,224 有一次厂里组织咱们去十渡郊游 378 00:15:41,958 --> 00:15:42,959 游泳的时候 379 00:15:42,959 --> 00:15:44,127 我脚抽筋了 380 00:15:44,762 --> 00:15:45,962 是你救的我 381 00:15:46,262 --> 00:15:47,029 对对对 382 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:48,532 当时我紧紧地抱着你 383 00:15:49,433 --> 00:15:50,834 你一直在安慰我 384 00:15:52,135 --> 00:15:53,537 从那以后我就觉得 385 00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,873 和你在一起特有安全感 386 00:15:56,239 --> 00:15:57,239 见不到你啊 387 00:15:57,441 --> 00:15:58,441 我真的就想 388 00:16:01,077 --> 00:16:02,077 你呢 389 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:04,548 先走了一步 390 00:16:06,884 --> 00:16:07,884 我呢 391 00:16:08,552 --> 00:16:10,454 还没到那种境界呢 392 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:12,021 在我心里啊 393 00:16:13,022 --> 00:16:14,858 我一直拿你当一大哥哥 394 00:16:14,858 --> 00:16:16,827 那你还是拿我当一哥吧 395 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,360 哥 396 00:16:19,162 --> 00:16:20,263 皮肤真好 397 00:16:21,264 --> 00:16:22,264 白 398 00:16:24,468 --> 00:16:26,002 建国 399 00:16:27,838 --> 00:16:30,139 你模样不是长得挺好的吗 400 00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:32,408 干嘛又整成麻花了 401 00:16:33,042 --> 00:16:34,878 是给我哥的一个惊喜吗 402 00:16:39,148 --> 00:16:41,885 我来的时候设想了一万种可能 403 00:16:41,885 --> 00:16:43,052 都没想到是你 404 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:46,254 哥 405 00:16:46,757 --> 00:16:48,024 我跟美这个词 406 00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,026 打了一辈子交道 407 00:16:50,527 --> 00:16:52,328 看谁都是黑白的 408 00:16:53,931 --> 00:16:55,031 就看你 409 00:16:55,364 --> 00:16:56,767 是彩色的 410 00:16:57,468 --> 00:16:58,468 弟 411 00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:02,138 放哥一马 412 00:17:02,138 --> 00:17:03,239 换个人行吗 413 00:17:03,907 --> 00:17:05,107 这钱我出 414 00:17:07,977 --> 00:17:08,977 哥 415 00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:11,748 还是那么白 416 00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:18,421 对不起 417 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:21,424 说说您的诉求 418 00:17:21,925 --> 00:17:23,359 我的诉求很简单 419 00:17:23,861 --> 00:17:24,928 概括两个字 420 00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:29,464 盲人 421 00:17:29,867 --> 00:17:30,868 育人 422 00:17:32,536 --> 00:17:34,136 现在这年轻人 423 00:17:34,838 --> 00:17:36,172 说起来学历都挺高 424 00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:38,842 可犯的都是常识性错误 425 00:17:39,208 --> 00:17:42,411 老祖宗这点优良传统甭说发扬了 426 00:17:43,079 --> 00:17:44,280 皮毛都不知道 427 00:17:44,815 --> 00:17:46,315 不知道我教你啊 428 00:17:46,517 --> 00:17:47,517 还不虚心 429 00:17:47,951 --> 00:17:49,018 一个个急赤白脸 430 00:17:49,018 --> 00:17:50,018 自命不凡 431 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:51,855 能耐比老鼠小 432 00:17:52,054 --> 00:17:53,524 脾气比老虎大 433 00:17:53,991 --> 00:17:55,057 看着他们露怯 434 00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:56,492 我不说吧 435 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:57,960 憋得难受 436 00:17:58,094 --> 00:17:58,996 说吧 437 00:17:58,996 --> 00:18:00,396 还不够他们跟你强嘴的呢 438 00:18:00,864 --> 00:18:02,265 回回生一肚子气 439 00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:03,900 明白了 440 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,903 您绕了一大圈 441 00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,437 我试着给您概括 442 00:18:09,238 --> 00:18:12,809 您是不是想让我们给您造一徒弟 443 00:18:13,109 --> 00:18:14,845 得投缘 444 00:18:17,213 --> 00:18:18,114 别说 445 00:18:18,114 --> 00:18:19,148 还真有一个 446 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:23,920 大导您看 447 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,556 这个头圆不圆 448 00:18:26,924 --> 00:18:28,825 我说的是缘分的缘 449 00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:31,028 那么个投缘 450 00:18:32,930 --> 00:18:35,064 本来这是给德云社定制的 451 00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:36,531 郭老板 452 00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:38,334 收徒弟收寒心了 453 00:18:38,569 --> 00:18:41,370 云鹤九霄龙腾四海 454 00:18:41,838 --> 00:18:43,840 郭老板说到海字辈儿 455 00:18:44,273 --> 00:18:45,809 就不传真人了 456 00:18:46,009 --> 00:18:47,844 让我们给他定制一批 457 00:18:47,844 --> 00:18:51,247 死心塌地从一而终的机器人徒弟 458 00:18:51,915 --> 00:18:53,917 那我这不是夺人之美吗 459 00:18:54,051 --> 00:18:55,551 郭老板是这么说的 460 00:18:56,118 --> 00:18:58,521 可是于老板又追过来个电话 461 00:18:59,121 --> 00:19:00,222 说海字辈儿 462 00:19:00,323 --> 00:19:01,925 传女不传男 463 00:19:02,124 --> 00:19:03,961 所以说这块料 464 00:19:04,126 --> 00:19:05,126 废了 465 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:06,162 那要这样 466 00:19:06,162 --> 00:19:07,162 别糟践东西 467 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,532 你把他启动给我看看 468 00:19:18,909 --> 00:19:20,443 信号连接成功 469 00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:29,150 叫师父 470 00:19:30,821 --> 00:19:31,821 我有师父 471 00:19:31,955 --> 00:19:33,056 我要从一而终 472 00:19:33,222 --> 00:19:34,858 你们海字辈儿没男的了 473 00:19:34,958 --> 00:19:36,125 以后都是姑娘了 474 00:19:36,459 --> 00:19:38,127 那我不是掉花丛里了吗 475 00:19:38,227 --> 00:19:39,128 我的天呐 476 00:19:39,128 --> 00:19:40,329 还有这好事啊 477 00:19:41,064 --> 00:19:42,365 别看你长得丑 478 00:19:43,066 --> 00:19:44,801 但你想得美啊 479 00:19:46,135 --> 00:19:47,336 你师父不要你了 480 00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:48,838 不可能 481 00:19:48,905 --> 00:19:51,074 老爷子你多大岁数了还骗人玩 482 00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:02,052 咋可能咧 483 00:20:02,052 --> 00:20:03,052 我的乖呀 484 00:20:03,252 --> 00:20:05,521 我一天没伺候过俺师父 485 00:20:06,123 --> 00:20:06,923 行 486 00:20:06,923 --> 00:20:07,924 有情有义 487 00:20:08,190 --> 00:20:09,126 这孩子我收了 488 00:20:09,158 --> 00:20:10,259 打今儿起认我的门儿 489 00:20:10,559 --> 00:20:12,328 赶紧谢师父 给师父鞠躬 490 00:20:14,497 --> 00:20:15,999 师父好 491 00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:17,900 反了 492 00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:20,937 师父好 493 00:20:22,204 --> 00:20:23,940 这刚下线还不会呢 494 00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:25,008 这还得教啊 495 00:20:25,909 --> 00:20:26,909 来 我教你 496 00:20:26,943 --> 00:20:28,210 面对尊敬的人 497 00:20:28,411 --> 00:20:31,014 双手垂立 鞠躬九十度 498 00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:32,816 师父好 499 00:20:33,516 --> 00:20:34,818 起来吧 500 00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:38,521 占我便宜是吧 501 00:20:41,223 --> 00:20:43,325 知道你师父是何许人也吗 502 00:20:46,395 --> 00:20:48,497 他是一个沉浸在过去时代 503 00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:49,532 夕阳中 504 00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:51,001 不愿意走出的 505 00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:52,169 老艺人 506 00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,005 当年他的电影我就不看 507 00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:56,305 现在不看 以后不看 508 00:20:56,305 --> 00:20:57,406 永远都不看 509 00:20:58,340 --> 00:20:59,340 急了 510 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:00,508 放肆 511 00:21:01,243 --> 00:21:02,545 不许拿师父打镲 512 00:21:04,447 --> 00:21:05,448 既然您收了 513 00:21:05,816 --> 00:21:07,117 给孩子赐个名字吧 514 00:21:08,317 --> 00:21:09,820 天恩承佑 515 00:21:10,153 --> 00:21:11,822 孺子可教 516 00:21:14,024 --> 00:21:15,491 以后你就叫承孺吧 517 00:21:17,293 --> 00:21:18,293 承孺 518 00:21:19,196 --> 00:21:20,296 你已经上岗了 519 00:21:20,329 --> 00:21:22,298 重复一下我们公司的服务理念 520 00:21:22,799 --> 00:21:23,232 接受 521 00:21:23,232 --> 00:21:23,834 忍让 522 00:21:23,834 --> 00:21:24,233 合作 523 00:21:24,233 --> 00:21:25,334 凡是客户需要的 524 00:21:25,334 --> 00:21:26,903 就是我们乐于奉献的 525 00:21:29,338 --> 00:21:30,338 郭德纲是谁 526 00:21:31,808 --> 00:21:32,808 忘却了 527 00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:34,043 好 528 00:21:36,312 --> 00:21:37,814 明天就送我府上去 529 00:21:55,498 --> 00:21:56,498 叔 530 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,201 咋醒这么早咧 531 00:21:59,502 --> 00:22:00,503 梦见啥了 532 00:22:01,437 --> 00:22:02,806 有事说事 533 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,143 老范送你的生日礼物到了 534 00:22:17,821 --> 00:22:18,989 我回来了 535 00:22:27,798 --> 00:22:29,331 阿卡帕尼做的吧 536 00:22:30,399 --> 00:22:31,400 还真像 537 00:22:35,404 --> 00:22:36,539 嘴小了点 538 00:22:42,913 --> 00:22:44,014 眼睛对 539 00:22:44,214 --> 00:22:45,882 开就对了 540 00:22:46,883 --> 00:22:48,018 你叫什么呀 541 00:22:48,151 --> 00:22:49,151 梁笑笑 542 00:22:50,020 --> 00:22:51,221 在哪工作呀 543 00:22:51,221 --> 00:22:52,221 海航 544 00:22:52,823 --> 00:22:53,924 我叫什么呀 545 00:22:53,924 --> 00:22:54,858 秦奋 546 00:22:54,858 --> 00:22:55,859 咱俩什么关系 547 00:22:55,859 --> 00:22:56,525 夫妻 548 00:22:56,525 --> 00:22:57,526 什么时候结的婚 549 00:22:57,526 --> 00:23:00,462 2011年11月11号 550 00:23:00,831 --> 00:23:03,532 我在北海道有个朋友叫什么 551 00:23:03,834 --> 00:23:04,433 邬桑 552 00:23:04,835 --> 00:23:07,137 2010年有个朋友去世了 553 00:23:07,137 --> 00:23:07,904 他叫什么 554 00:23:07,904 --> 00:23:09,039 李香山 555 00:23:09,039 --> 00:23:10,539 他的前妻叫芒果 556 00:23:10,539 --> 00:23:12,008 是我的闺蜜 557 00:23:12,943 --> 00:23:14,144 我的爱好是什么 558 00:23:14,343 --> 00:23:16,246 说瞎话不脸红 559 00:23:16,246 --> 00:23:17,914 那是能力不是爱好 560 00:23:18,315 --> 00:23:19,315 爱我 561 00:23:21,852 --> 00:23:22,852 对 562 00:23:22,919 --> 00:23:24,221 你的爱好是什么 563 00:23:24,221 --> 00:23:25,221 爱美 564 00:23:25,322 --> 00:23:27,423 结婚后爱上捡垃圾 565 00:23:29,425 --> 00:23:31,161 笑笑那口国语啊 566 00:23:31,527 --> 00:23:33,163 不会说垃圾的 567 00:23:33,529 --> 00:23:35,131 那她会说什么 568 00:23:38,335 --> 00:23:39,535 她会说 569 00:23:39,535 --> 00:23:40,536 垃圾 570 00:23:41,271 --> 00:23:42,339 你要是间谍 571 00:23:42,571 --> 00:23:44,807 我现在已经掏出枪 572 00:23:45,008 --> 00:23:46,309 把你给毙了 573 00:23:48,410 --> 00:23:49,346 别真摔呀 574 00:23:49,346 --> 00:23:50,813 意思一下就行了 575 00:23:51,014 --> 00:23:52,315 凡是客户需要的 576 00:23:52,315 --> 00:23:54,050 就是我们乐于奉献的 577 00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:56,517 好玩 578 00:24:11,101 --> 00:24:13,003 你这里是多巴胺风 579 00:24:13,336 --> 00:24:15,005 这都是我自己刷的 580 00:24:15,804 --> 00:24:17,207 人老心不老 581 00:24:18,909 --> 00:24:21,510 过去你下班回来经常躺在这 582 00:24:21,844 --> 00:24:22,946 让我给你捏脚 583 00:24:23,213 --> 00:24:25,181 我现在可以全职照顾你 584 00:24:25,181 --> 00:24:27,017 需要开启老年模式吗 585 00:24:27,017 --> 00:24:28,218 还有这个模式呢 586 00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:29,852 开启一下试试 587 00:24:35,524 --> 00:24:37,127 喝水吗 588 00:24:37,227 --> 00:24:38,861 我给你倒 589 00:24:38,861 --> 00:24:39,861 关了关了 590 00:24:40,030 --> 00:24:41,030 好的 591 00:24:42,831 --> 00:24:43,366 来 592 00:24:43,832 --> 00:24:44,832 坐这 593 00:24:49,940 --> 00:24:51,408 你真能做到 594 00:24:51,507 --> 00:24:53,009 百依百顺吗 595 00:24:53,209 --> 00:24:56,512 我能做到俯首贴耳唯命是从 596 00:24:58,048 --> 00:24:59,915 我要是对你发脾气 597 00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:02,152 你会有被伤害的感觉吗 598 00:25:02,352 --> 00:25:03,053 不会 599 00:25:03,053 --> 00:25:04,387 我们没有自我 600 00:25:05,322 --> 00:25:06,122 你给我滚 601 00:25:06,122 --> 00:25:07,023 好的主人 602 00:25:07,023 --> 00:25:08,158 我马上离开 603 00:25:09,825 --> 00:25:10,926 我跟你闹着玩呢 604 00:25:12,095 --> 00:25:13,196 也就是说 605 00:25:13,363 --> 00:25:15,365 不管我对你好不好 606 00:25:15,898 --> 00:25:18,500 你都可以永远对我好 607 00:25:18,901 --> 00:25:19,302 是的 608 00:25:19,302 --> 00:25:21,037 我对你绝对忠心 609 00:25:21,237 --> 00:25:22,838 那你说你错了给我道歉 610 00:25:23,139 --> 00:25:24,207 对不起主人 611 00:25:24,207 --> 00:25:25,908 请告诉我错在哪里 612 00:25:25,908 --> 00:25:27,010 我马上改 613 00:25:27,010 --> 00:25:28,844 你这就不是绝对忠心 614 00:25:29,912 --> 00:25:31,847 绝对忠心的定义就是 615 00:25:32,215 --> 00:25:33,916 我说你错了 616 00:25:33,949 --> 00:25:35,517 你就错了 617 00:25:38,121 --> 00:25:39,322 程序提示我 618 00:25:39,322 --> 00:25:41,324 你这叫官僚主义 619 00:25:42,125 --> 00:25:44,127 看来你还没有学会说瞎话 620 00:25:45,494 --> 00:25:46,829 笑笑就睡这 621 00:25:47,430 --> 00:25:48,431 对不起主人 622 00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:50,333 我没有侍寝授权 623 00:25:50,333 --> 00:25:52,035 不能提供这项服务 624 00:25:52,035 --> 00:25:53,502 你只能自己睡觉 625 00:25:54,237 --> 00:25:55,904 两个人叫睡觉 626 00:25:55,904 --> 00:25:57,374 一个人叫休息 627 00:25:58,174 --> 00:26:00,176 在其位不谋其政 628 00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:02,345 你这也是不忠心的表现 629 00:26:02,511 --> 00:26:05,181 忠心跟睡觉有关系吗 630 00:26:07,850 --> 00:26:08,917 有啊 631 00:26:10,253 --> 00:26:11,887 这是笑笑留下的衣服 632 00:26:11,887 --> 00:26:13,089 你挑一件换上 633 00:26:13,522 --> 00:26:14,923 以后就穿她的 634 00:26:15,025 --> 00:26:15,425 好的 635 00:26:15,458 --> 00:26:16,458 谢谢主人 636 00:26:16,892 --> 00:26:18,194 别老叫我主人 637 00:26:18,495 --> 00:26:20,829 她平常就直呼我大名 638 00:26:20,929 --> 00:26:22,798 你们之间有昵称吗 639 00:26:23,033 --> 00:26:24,033 有 640 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,102 我叫她比目鱼 641 00:26:26,503 --> 00:26:27,936 她叫我老狐狸 642 00:26:28,104 --> 00:26:29,104 高兴的时候 643 00:26:29,805 --> 00:26:30,240 好的 644 00:26:30,273 --> 00:26:31,107 老狐狸 645 00:26:31,107 --> 00:26:32,107 高兴的时候 646 00:26:32,409 --> 00:26:33,443 没有后半句 647 00:26:34,044 --> 00:26:35,844 就叫老狐狸 648 00:26:36,912 --> 00:26:37,912 这是什么 649 00:26:39,049 --> 00:26:40,049 风筝 650 00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:43,319 她走了以后我就迷上这事了 651 00:26:44,254 --> 00:26:45,388 没事做着玩 652 00:26:45,488 --> 00:26:46,822 干什么用呢 653 00:26:47,223 --> 00:26:48,525 就是个念想 654 00:26:49,325 --> 00:26:51,227 每次她寄一个明信片 655 00:26:51,261 --> 00:26:52,328 我就换一新的 656 00:26:52,828 --> 00:26:53,829 你来了 657 00:26:54,197 --> 00:26:55,198 咱也换一个 658 00:26:56,832 --> 00:26:57,832 宝强 659 00:26:58,234 --> 00:26:59,234 叔 660 00:26:59,335 --> 00:27:00,136 啥事 661 00:27:00,303 --> 00:27:01,303 来点风 662 00:27:02,004 --> 00:27:03,004 啥风啊 663 00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:04,540 北风 664 00:27:05,241 --> 00:27:07,042 我这智能管家贫着呢 665 00:27:13,982 --> 00:27:16,186 为什么用线拴住它 666 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,090 有线扯着它就能回家 667 00:27:21,124 --> 00:27:22,125 线断了 668 00:27:22,525 --> 00:27:23,926 它就回不来了 669 00:27:41,311 --> 00:27:42,878 梁笑笑啊 670 00:27:42,878 --> 00:27:44,147 梁笑笑 671 00:27:44,980 --> 00:27:46,915 你也有今天呐 672 00:27:47,417 --> 00:27:49,818 其实你不用对我这么好 673 00:27:50,353 --> 00:27:52,322 你好的都不像她了 674 00:27:52,955 --> 00:27:54,390 她对你不好吗 675 00:27:55,158 --> 00:27:57,360 她不气我就算疼我了 676 00:27:58,428 --> 00:27:59,429 接着念 677 00:27:59,862 --> 00:28:00,863 好的 678 00:28:10,772 --> 00:28:12,475 我睡了多长时间呐 679 00:28:13,041 --> 00:28:15,411 两小时十分五十四秒 680 00:28:17,514 --> 00:28:19,915 你一直锤手没停啊 681 00:28:19,915 --> 00:28:21,217 你没让我停啊 682 00:28:24,521 --> 00:28:25,555 怎么了老狐狸 683 00:28:25,555 --> 00:28:27,390 腿腿腿 684 00:28:29,925 --> 00:28:32,127 你一直可着一个地儿锤呢吧 685 00:28:32,262 --> 00:28:33,530 你没让我换呀 686 00:28:34,096 --> 00:28:35,130 你锤了多少拳 687 00:28:35,331 --> 00:28:36,566 一秒钟两拳 688 00:28:36,566 --> 00:28:38,867 一共一万五千七百零八拳 689 00:28:39,034 --> 00:28:40,270 你在一个地儿 690 00:28:40,270 --> 00:28:42,238 锤了我一万五千多拳 691 00:28:42,338 --> 00:28:44,274 我这腿没残就算万幸了 692 00:28:44,474 --> 00:28:45,073 对不起 693 00:28:45,073 --> 00:28:45,974 实在对不起 694 00:28:46,041 --> 00:28:47,075 请你原谅我好吗 695 00:28:47,075 --> 00:28:47,776 老狐狸 696 00:28:47,943 --> 00:28:48,943 你 697 00:28:49,312 --> 00:28:50,513 换个地儿锤啊 698 00:28:50,846 --> 00:28:51,846 好的 699 00:28:54,149 --> 00:28:55,518 你这是伺候我呢 700 00:28:55,518 --> 00:28:57,019 还是折磨我呢 701 00:29:00,155 --> 00:29:01,357 想不通您再来 702 00:29:02,157 --> 00:29:03,157 好 703 00:29:04,327 --> 00:29:05,327 十五号 704 00:29:08,264 --> 00:29:08,931 问 705 00:29:09,031 --> 00:29:10,031 我这人吧 706 00:29:10,333 --> 00:29:12,034 觉得谁都是好人 707 00:29:12,335 --> 00:29:13,835 拿谁都当朋友 708 00:29:13,869 --> 00:29:14,937 请他们吃饭 709 00:29:14,937 --> 00:29:15,937 喝酒 710 00:29:16,038 --> 00:29:17,039 可结果呢 711 00:29:18,140 --> 00:29:19,242 明枪没躲开 712 00:29:19,342 --> 00:29:20,842 暗箭防不住 713 00:29:21,009 --> 00:29:22,945 回回都被朋友给坑了 714 00:29:23,045 --> 00:29:23,979 您说我这 715 00:29:23,979 --> 00:29:24,980 朋友 716 00:29:25,415 --> 00:29:26,815 或两月 717 00:29:27,417 --> 00:29:28,784 或月月 718 00:29:29,552 --> 00:29:30,320 真朋友 719 00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:31,320 事儿上见 720 00:29:31,954 --> 00:29:33,556 多说无益 721 00:29:34,122 --> 00:29:36,359 多喝不必 722 00:29:36,526 --> 00:29:38,361 那我就闹不明白了 723 00:29:38,961 --> 00:29:40,028 这世界上 724 00:29:40,028 --> 00:29:41,264 到底是君子多 725 00:29:41,264 --> 00:29:42,365 还是小人多 726 00:29:42,798 --> 00:29:43,999 伪君子最多 727 00:29:50,205 --> 00:29:51,341 装孙子 728 00:29:51,374 --> 00:29:52,374 嗯 729 00:29:52,542 --> 00:29:53,909 我就想问一下 730 00:29:53,909 --> 00:29:55,077 什么叫装孙子 731 00:29:55,311 --> 00:29:56,812 揣着明白装糊涂 732 00:29:57,813 --> 00:29:58,813 不太懂 733 00:29:58,914 --> 00:30:00,483 您现在这样就叫装孙子 734 00:30:01,251 --> 00:30:03,852 说出来挺不好意思 735 00:30:04,454 --> 00:30:06,088 为什么一见别人倒楣 736 00:30:07,022 --> 00:30:08,223 我就高兴啊 737 00:30:09,124 --> 00:30:10,158 因为嫉妒 738 00:30:10,792 --> 00:30:12,894 你的内心隐像是自卑的 739 00:30:13,095 --> 00:30:15,230 经常把别人当成假想敌 740 00:30:17,099 --> 00:30:18,133 这是病吗 741 00:30:18,268 --> 00:30:18,900 等什么时候 742 00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:20,536 您自己倒楣了还能高兴 743 00:30:21,036 --> 00:30:22,204 那才是病呢 744 00:30:22,538 --> 00:30:24,206 学校组织演出 745 00:30:24,407 --> 00:30:26,141 为什么每次我都不好意思 746 00:30:26,141 --> 00:30:27,943 拉不下脸来上台表演 747 00:30:30,346 --> 00:30:32,814 表演是需要天赋的 748 00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:35,351 我觉得我是个没有天赋的人 749 00:30:35,551 --> 00:30:36,552 我很自卑 750 00:30:36,552 --> 00:30:37,520 拉不下脸来 751 00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:39,021 是因为怕寒碜 752 00:30:39,455 --> 00:30:40,822 天赋有很多种 753 00:30:41,156 --> 00:30:42,458 知道什么是寒碜 754 00:30:42,458 --> 00:30:43,792 也是一种天赋 755 00:30:44,226 --> 00:30:45,226 下一位 756 00:30:47,229 --> 00:30:49,231 这是你最爱吃的小笼包 757 00:30:49,432 --> 00:30:50,899 鼎泰丰的方子 758 00:30:52,335 --> 00:30:54,102 每次一笼你都不够 759 00:30:54,202 --> 00:30:56,138 对不起 我没有进食功能 760 00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,442 我忙活了一下午 761 00:30:59,475 --> 00:31:00,475 你也不早说 762 00:31:01,143 --> 00:31:02,811 我以为你给自己做的 763 00:31:02,911 --> 00:31:04,246 我应该提醒你的 764 00:31:04,380 --> 00:31:06,114 是我晃范儿了不怪你 765 00:31:17,926 --> 00:31:19,194 酒也不能喝吧 766 00:31:19,329 --> 00:31:20,330 实在抱歉 767 00:31:29,405 --> 00:31:30,506 十年了 768 00:31:31,441 --> 00:31:32,974 这屋里就我一人 769 00:31:37,079 --> 00:31:38,280 饭我也懒得做 770 00:31:39,047 --> 00:31:40,082 都是叫外卖 771 00:31:42,951 --> 00:31:44,086 你来了 772 00:31:44,420 --> 00:31:46,154 我又有了做饭的心气儿 773 00:31:47,490 --> 00:31:48,924 你让我想她了 774 00:31:52,294 --> 00:31:53,095 你吃吧 775 00:31:53,095 --> 00:31:54,129 我看着你吃 776 00:32:02,337 --> 00:32:03,806 你那么想她 777 00:32:04,841 --> 00:32:06,442 为什么不叫她回来呀 778 00:32:07,844 --> 00:32:09,344 人是有自尊心的 779 00:32:11,113 --> 00:32:12,415 你们机器人没有 780 00:32:13,248 --> 00:32:15,217 我们学习能力很强的 781 00:32:15,984 --> 00:32:17,986 你们永远也学不会 782 00:32:19,187 --> 00:32:20,757 你们是计算 783 00:32:25,495 --> 00:32:27,129 我们是算计 784 00:32:39,307 --> 00:32:41,042 我都醉了 785 00:32:43,513 --> 00:32:44,946 你觉得她们漂亮吗 786 00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:46,314 很漂亮 787 00:32:48,518 --> 00:32:50,318 你觉得她们谁最漂亮 788 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,522 我认为都很漂亮 789 00:32:54,457 --> 00:32:56,358 那你觉得是你漂亮 790 00:32:56,358 --> 00:32:57,794 还是她们漂亮 791 00:32:58,360 --> 00:32:59,361 你认为呢 792 00:33:00,228 --> 00:33:01,497 你别生气啊 793 00:33:03,265 --> 00:33:05,267 我觉得她们比你漂亮 794 00:33:06,168 --> 00:33:07,870 你喜欢我就喜欢 795 00:33:08,170 --> 00:33:10,573 需要把她们收进收藏家里吗 796 00:33:11,908 --> 00:33:12,809 我赞美她们 797 00:33:12,809 --> 00:33:15,243 你一点没有不愉快的感觉吗 798 00:33:15,343 --> 00:33:16,411 完全没有 799 00:33:16,411 --> 00:33:17,946 我只想让你开心 800 00:33:19,549 --> 00:33:21,484 你不仅没有自尊心 801 00:33:21,484 --> 00:33:23,218 你还没有嫉妒心 802 00:33:23,952 --> 00:33:25,253 如果你需要的话 803 00:33:25,253 --> 00:33:26,856 我可以模仿嫉妒 804 00:33:27,055 --> 00:33:28,156 是吗 805 00:33:28,223 --> 00:33:29,892 你模仿一个我看看 806 00:33:31,059 --> 00:33:32,994 刚才的话你再说一遍 807 00:33:33,328 --> 00:33:34,564 实话实说 808 00:33:35,263 --> 00:33:36,866 她们比你漂亮 809 00:33:41,970 --> 00:33:43,473 你活腻歪了是吗 810 00:33:45,173 --> 00:33:46,374 给你脸了是吗 811 00:33:46,909 --> 00:33:48,210 还真急了 812 00:33:50,145 --> 00:33:51,046 你去哪儿 813 00:33:51,079 --> 00:33:52,079 要你管 814 00:33:53,248 --> 00:33:54,517 差不多行了 815 00:33:55,016 --> 00:33:56,016 去死吧你 816 00:33:56,853 --> 00:33:58,453 我命令你给我站住 817 00:34:03,225 --> 00:34:04,225 你说谁好看 818 00:34:04,259 --> 00:34:06,562 你你 819 00:34:15,905 --> 00:34:16,772 哭了 820 00:34:16,839 --> 00:34:18,173 我要投诉你 821 00:34:19,441 --> 00:34:22,244 你们机器人下手太狠了 822 00:34:23,144 --> 00:34:25,247 朱迪是不是有提示过你 823 00:34:25,247 --> 00:34:27,950 不可以对我有侵犯性的动作呀 824 00:34:28,149 --> 00:34:28,951 是 825 00:34:29,050 --> 00:34:30,953 触发了我的反抗功能 826 00:34:30,953 --> 00:34:32,053 谁倒楣啊 827 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:33,154 我倒楣 828 00:34:33,321 --> 00:34:34,389 谁疼啊 829 00:34:34,891 --> 00:34:35,891 我疼 830 00:34:35,992 --> 00:34:37,292 长记性了吗 831 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:40,228 舒服点了吗 832 00:34:42,297 --> 00:34:44,499 揉了这么久还不舒服呀 833 00:34:45,367 --> 00:34:46,367 是这只 834 00:34:50,272 --> 00:34:50,973 乖 835 00:34:50,973 --> 00:34:52,008 你该睡觉了 836 00:34:56,044 --> 00:34:57,044 那你呢 837 00:34:57,847 --> 00:34:58,948 我去充电 838 00:35:45,193 --> 00:35:46,193 嘿 839 00:36:43,953 --> 00:36:45,387 欢迎光临大新华航空 840 00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,023 请出示您的登机牌 841 00:36:49,424 --> 00:36:50,893 梁笑笑 842 00:36:51,827 --> 00:36:52,828 真是你啊 843 00:36:53,194 --> 00:36:54,329 请您继续往前走 844 00:36:54,329 --> 00:36:55,998 不要挡住后面的客人 845 00:37:08,911 --> 00:37:09,812 我帮你点吧 846 00:37:09,812 --> 00:37:10,812 不用 847 00:37:12,213 --> 00:37:13,481 我想帮你点 848 00:37:24,192 --> 00:37:25,192 想要我吗 849 00:37:26,294 --> 00:37:27,294 想 850 00:37:28,064 --> 00:37:29,165 今晚我是你的了 851 00:37:30,532 --> 00:37:32,333 只这一夜我不要 852 00:37:32,902 --> 00:37:34,103 我不欠你这情 853 00:37:34,202 --> 00:37:35,303 我还不起 854 00:37:35,871 --> 00:37:36,972 我不要你还 855 00:37:38,306 --> 00:37:39,307 这是你应得的 856 00:37:40,408 --> 00:37:42,210 你就让我犯回傻吧 857 00:37:44,146 --> 00:37:45,280 我爱上你了 858 00:38:18,246 --> 00:38:19,782 环保是一种意识 859 00:38:20,281 --> 00:38:21,784 虽然呼吁了很多年 860 00:38:21,784 --> 00:38:24,285 但是丢垃圾的人还是比捡垃圾的人多 861 00:38:25,888 --> 00:38:28,556 所以我们希望你们能开发环保智能人 862 00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:30,492 替人类分担一下这份工作 863 00:38:30,860 --> 00:38:31,860 明白 864 00:38:31,894 --> 00:38:33,294 我尽快布置下去 865 00:38:33,929 --> 00:38:34,929 真没想到 866 00:38:36,364 --> 00:38:39,168 环保组织的代表竟然是你 867 00:38:40,401 --> 00:38:42,104 我是主动请缨的 868 00:38:44,073 --> 00:38:45,073 捡不动了 869 00:38:45,340 --> 00:38:46,340 想回家了 870 00:38:47,009 --> 00:38:48,811 秦奋还不知道你回来吧 871 00:38:51,113 --> 00:38:52,815 我还没想好怎么面对他 872 00:38:53,448 --> 00:38:54,282 还用想吗 873 00:38:54,282 --> 00:38:55,350 他就在公司 874 00:38:55,350 --> 00:38:55,985 我去叫他 875 00:38:56,018 --> 00:38:57,018 别 876 00:38:58,954 --> 00:38:59,955 不瞒您说 877 00:39:01,389 --> 00:39:02,389 我还不敢 878 00:39:04,559 --> 00:39:06,427 毕竟这一走十年 879 00:39:08,197 --> 00:39:10,498 我也不知道他对我会是什么样的态度 880 00:39:13,368 --> 00:39:14,870 我也实不相瞒 881 00:39:16,172 --> 00:39:17,873 秦奋对你 882 00:39:17,873 --> 00:39:19,074 一往情深 883 00:39:23,913 --> 00:39:25,114 我能看看他吗 884 00:39:25,114 --> 00:39:26,114 这简单 885 00:39:52,807 --> 00:39:53,843 老了 886 00:39:56,411 --> 00:39:58,813 您是对笑笑有什么不满意吗 887 00:39:59,181 --> 00:40:00,448 模样确实像 888 00:40:00,815 --> 00:40:02,151 聊天也接得住 889 00:40:02,784 --> 00:40:04,053 就是太殷勤 890 00:40:04,987 --> 00:40:06,288 闹得我有点出戏 891 00:40:06,521 --> 00:40:08,556 您不是要百依百顺吗 892 00:40:09,390 --> 00:40:10,391 这么跟你说吧 893 00:40:11,126 --> 00:40:14,029 我太太大部分时间是不配合的 894 00:40:14,429 --> 00:40:16,031 你说东她就说西 895 00:40:16,031 --> 00:40:17,933 你说打狗她就撵鸡 896 00:40:18,399 --> 00:40:20,102 那您怎么还爱她呢 897 00:40:20,401 --> 00:40:21,070 贱呗 898 00:40:21,070 --> 00:40:22,104 这就是人 899 00:40:22,470 --> 00:40:23,470 他们在说什么 900 00:40:24,073 --> 00:40:25,073 什么不配合 901 00:40:26,141 --> 00:40:27,209 他在我这 902 00:40:28,244 --> 00:40:29,844 定做了一个你 903 00:40:34,149 --> 00:40:34,950 明白了 904 00:40:35,150 --> 00:40:37,819 那我们就把她的性格从百依百顺 905 00:40:37,819 --> 00:40:39,355 改成我行我素了啊 906 00:40:39,854 --> 00:40:40,322 对 907 00:40:40,322 --> 00:40:41,422 就按真的来 908 00:40:41,422 --> 00:40:42,824 缺点也不回避 909 00:40:43,025 --> 00:40:44,525 越完美越假 910 00:40:44,859 --> 00:40:46,228 越完美越假 911 00:40:46,761 --> 00:40:47,930 这个容易 912 00:40:47,930 --> 00:40:49,764 范总说要留您吃饭 913 00:40:50,465 --> 00:40:51,465 不了 914 00:40:51,901 --> 00:40:53,369 笑笑还在家等着呢 915 00:40:55,304 --> 00:40:57,006 再见 916 00:41:03,511 --> 00:41:04,879 我有个主意 917 00:41:05,314 --> 00:41:06,514 你能帮帮我吗 918 00:41:37,112 --> 00:41:38,112 笑笑 919 00:41:40,882 --> 00:41:42,017 我回来了 920 00:41:50,758 --> 00:41:51,859 你怎么坐这了 921 00:41:51,859 --> 00:41:52,962 太危险了 922 00:41:53,262 --> 00:41:54,262 快下来 923 00:41:54,896 --> 00:41:56,065 我的平衡系统 924 00:41:56,065 --> 00:41:58,400 坐在钢丝上也不会有任何闪失 925 00:41:58,499 --> 00:41:59,767 那也不行 926 00:42:00,768 --> 00:42:01,903 我看着瘆得慌 927 00:42:02,104 --> 00:42:03,104 别掉下去 928 00:42:03,238 --> 00:42:05,341 掉下去不正合你的意吗 929 00:42:06,075 --> 00:42:07,276 你这是什么话呀 930 00:42:07,475 --> 00:42:09,944 为什么你掉下去合我的意 931 00:42:10,145 --> 00:42:12,513 这样你就可以名正言顺的换人了 932 00:42:12,914 --> 00:42:15,150 要换我早换了还用等今天 933 00:42:15,750 --> 00:42:17,353 你这不是已经换了吗 934 00:42:18,053 --> 00:42:19,121 嫌我老了 935 00:42:19,121 --> 00:42:21,156 还特意做一个年轻的 936 00:42:22,857 --> 00:42:24,460 你是哪个笑笑啊 937 00:42:25,461 --> 00:42:26,261 发型不错 938 00:42:26,295 --> 00:42:27,295 我喜欢 939 00:42:28,297 --> 00:42:29,999 你有几个笑笑呀 940 00:42:30,099 --> 00:42:31,799 换谁都叫笑笑吧 941 00:42:33,102 --> 00:42:34,303 虚伪 942 00:42:34,502 --> 00:42:36,271 美其名曰等我 943 00:42:36,271 --> 00:42:38,307 实际上也是骑马找马吧 944 00:42:39,774 --> 00:42:41,776 你是梁笑笑附体了吧 945 00:42:42,177 --> 00:42:43,878 吃什么 我都饿了 946 00:42:44,346 --> 00:42:45,346 饿了自己做 947 00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:46,880 我又不饿 948 00:42:47,982 --> 00:42:49,517 你这什么态度啊 949 00:42:50,119 --> 00:42:51,286 想着家里有你 950 00:42:51,286 --> 00:42:53,188 老范留我吃饭我都没吃 951 00:42:53,355 --> 00:42:55,124 你这是在抱怨吗 952 00:42:55,324 --> 00:42:57,226 你是有饭局不去的人吗 953 00:42:57,426 --> 00:42:59,527 谁知道你是不是去了我们公司 954 00:43:00,429 --> 00:43:02,197 那你说我去哪了 955 00:43:02,431 --> 00:43:04,133 去见你的老相好呗 956 00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:05,800 你把话说清楚了 957 00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:07,102 谁是我老相好 958 00:43:08,037 --> 00:43:09,037 装 959 00:43:09,505 --> 00:43:11,773 要不要我把她名字说出来 960 00:43:11,906 --> 00:43:13,308 无理取闹是吧 961 00:43:13,442 --> 00:43:15,177 是做贼心虚吧 962 00:43:21,015 --> 00:43:22,451 差点给我带跑了 963 00:43:23,352 --> 00:43:25,220 朱迪办事效率够高的 964 00:43:25,454 --> 00:43:27,021 真把你性格改了 965 00:43:27,922 --> 00:43:29,425 连口音都变了 966 00:43:30,024 --> 00:43:31,527 这也太真了吧 967 00:43:31,527 --> 00:43:33,162 别跟我嬉皮笑脸的 968 00:43:34,063 --> 00:43:34,463 洗手 969 00:43:34,496 --> 00:43:35,496 吃饭 970 00:43:36,864 --> 00:43:37,865 活脱啊 971 00:43:39,334 --> 00:43:41,170 不是说没做我的饭吗 972 00:43:41,470 --> 00:43:42,870 不想吃我倒了 973 00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:43,870 吃吃吃 974 00:43:46,941 --> 00:43:48,243 刀子嘴豆腐心 975 00:43:48,510 --> 00:43:49,510 都对 976 00:43:51,246 --> 00:43:52,847 你多大岁数了 977 00:43:53,148 --> 00:43:54,816 下着雨还往外跑 978 00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:56,452 你跟朱迪能比吗 979 00:43:56,851 --> 00:43:58,153 人家是机器人 980 00:43:58,153 --> 00:43:59,254 坏了可以修 981 00:43:59,854 --> 00:44:00,955 你呢 982 00:44:00,955 --> 00:44:02,157 坏了有零件换吗 983 00:44:02,157 --> 00:44:03,157 是是是 984 00:44:03,858 --> 00:44:04,926 批评的都对 985 00:44:06,261 --> 00:44:08,263 以后多敲打我 986 00:44:09,864 --> 00:44:11,300 现在你能吃了吧 987 00:44:11,533 --> 00:44:13,000 别得寸进尺 988 00:44:24,113 --> 00:44:24,912 手脏 989 00:44:25,046 --> 00:44:26,046 张嘴 990 00:44:29,351 --> 00:44:30,351 晚安老狐狸 991 00:44:30,852 --> 00:44:31,353 晚安 992 00:44:31,386 --> 00:44:32,488 比目鱼 993 00:44:55,943 --> 00:44:57,146 嗨 秦先生 994 00:44:57,246 --> 00:44:59,548 您对笑笑的性格改造满意吗 995 00:44:59,947 --> 00:45:01,450 除了吃饭睡觉这两个 996 00:45:01,517 --> 00:45:02,783 人的本能 997 00:45:03,252 --> 00:45:05,052 我都觉得她就是了 998 00:45:05,454 --> 00:45:07,222 享受她的陪伴吧 999 00:45:19,934 --> 00:45:20,934 坐 1000 00:45:21,537 --> 00:45:22,837 这不合适吧 1001 00:45:23,838 --> 00:45:24,906 这谁说了算 1002 00:45:25,541 --> 00:45:26,541 您 1003 00:45:26,941 --> 00:45:27,942 我说合适 1004 00:45:31,946 --> 00:45:33,248 我很困惑 1005 00:45:34,148 --> 00:45:35,350 您还有困惑 1006 00:45:36,251 --> 00:45:38,853 没有困惑让我很困惑 1007 00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:40,322 我就不明白了 1008 00:45:40,422 --> 00:45:41,356 这世上为什么 1009 00:45:41,356 --> 00:45:43,225 就没有我不明白的事 1010 00:45:43,559 --> 00:45:44,792 你给我说说 1011 00:45:46,328 --> 00:45:47,329 对不起师父 1012 00:45:47,828 --> 00:45:48,930 这我不能说 1013 00:45:49,130 --> 00:45:50,130 这为什么呀 1014 00:45:51,032 --> 00:45:52,099 回答不上来了吧 1015 00:45:52,900 --> 00:45:55,102 我怕我的答案会对您造成伤害 1016 00:45:55,370 --> 00:45:57,038 你还能伤害得了我 1017 00:45:57,838 --> 00:45:59,040 赦你无罪 1018 00:45:59,073 --> 00:46:00,509 但讲何妨 1019 00:46:04,546 --> 00:46:05,813 您见过什么都懂 1020 00:46:05,813 --> 00:46:07,349 什么都明白的人吗 1021 00:46:07,349 --> 00:46:08,450 以前没见过 1022 00:46:09,551 --> 00:46:11,420 后来一照镜子就见着了 1023 00:46:12,521 --> 00:46:14,289 您见过不要脸的人吗 1024 00:46:14,356 --> 00:46:15,823 见多了 1025 00:46:16,458 --> 00:46:18,759 您见过最最不要脸的人吗 1026 00:46:19,126 --> 00:46:21,128 山外有山天外有天 1027 00:46:21,430 --> 00:46:22,497 谁见过最啊 1028 00:46:22,830 --> 00:46:23,830 我见过 1029 00:46:23,931 --> 00:46:24,931 谁 1030 00:46:25,099 --> 00:46:26,901 让我会会这最不要脸的 1031 00:46:28,102 --> 00:46:30,239 您再照一回镜子就见着了 1032 00:46:31,306 --> 00:46:32,106 放肆 1033 00:46:32,241 --> 00:46:33,241 反了你了 1034 00:46:34,008 --> 00:46:36,445 师父您向来是以说实话著称的 1035 00:46:37,246 --> 00:46:39,348 看来您也听不得实话呀 1036 00:46:47,221 --> 00:46:48,856 北海道农民邬桑 1037 00:46:49,223 --> 00:46:50,223 打扰了 1038 00:46:52,026 --> 00:46:53,027 想死我了 1039 00:46:53,027 --> 00:46:54,027 秦奋 1040 00:46:54,128 --> 00:46:55,330 头发都白了 1041 00:46:55,497 --> 00:46:57,098 更像鬼子了 1042 00:46:57,798 --> 00:46:59,133 归来仍是少年 1043 00:46:59,534 --> 00:47:01,536 我这媳妇做得像吧 1044 00:47:01,836 --> 00:47:03,037 这也太真了 1045 00:47:03,405 --> 00:47:05,340 你说她跟真人有什么区别 1046 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:07,442 除了不能办事 1047 00:47:07,542 --> 00:47:08,843 没什么区别 1048 00:47:09,243 --> 00:47:10,811 我找一残疾证去 1049 00:47:10,811 --> 00:47:12,113 也申请一个 1050 00:47:13,814 --> 00:47:14,982 你晚上有空吗 1051 00:47:15,783 --> 00:47:17,018 你得说什么事 1052 00:47:17,051 --> 00:47:18,420 我再说有没有空 1053 00:47:19,321 --> 00:47:20,489 我打听了 1054 00:47:20,921 --> 00:47:24,125 山下的电影公社新开了一家居酒屋 1055 00:47:24,992 --> 00:47:25,993 咱俩喝点去 1056 00:47:26,927 --> 00:47:28,330 也是四姐妹 1057 00:47:32,233 --> 00:47:33,335 你说这四个 1058 00:47:33,335 --> 00:47:34,503 哪个长得好看 1059 00:47:34,902 --> 00:47:36,237 都挺可人疼的 1060 00:47:36,237 --> 00:47:37,539 夏代 夏代漂亮 1061 00:47:38,205 --> 00:47:39,441 我春子 1062 00:47:40,342 --> 00:47:41,842 打扰了 1063 00:47:41,842 --> 00:47:43,144 可以进来吗 1064 00:47:43,478 --> 00:47:44,945 欢迎光临 1065 00:47:44,945 --> 00:47:46,047 请进请进 1066 00:47:46,047 --> 00:47:47,181 今天好清闲啊 1067 00:47:47,181 --> 00:47:48,317 还没有到时候呢 1068 00:47:48,317 --> 00:47:49,318 请坐 1069 00:47:52,853 --> 00:47:54,221 是不是可以把夏代和春子 1070 00:47:54,221 --> 00:47:56,425 叫过来一起喝酒啊 1071 00:47:57,124 --> 00:47:58,560 我就是夏代 1072 00:47:58,560 --> 00:47:59,561 那边是春子 1073 00:48:00,961 --> 00:48:02,263 她是秋美 1074 00:48:03,831 --> 00:48:05,966 那么外边的招牌是 1075 00:48:06,335 --> 00:48:07,536 那张照片 1076 00:48:07,536 --> 00:48:09,870 可是四十年前照的 1077 00:48:09,970 --> 00:48:10,938 真的吗 1078 00:48:10,971 --> 00:48:12,940 以前我们在东京是个很红的组合 1079 00:48:12,940 --> 00:48:14,543 名叫四季 1080 00:48:14,543 --> 00:48:16,778 上她们的当了吧 1081 00:48:17,011 --> 00:48:18,245 我们关系很好 1082 00:48:18,279 --> 00:48:19,847 一直到现在还在一起 1083 00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:21,248 看我们是四个美人吧 1084 00:48:21,282 --> 00:48:22,282 美人 美人 1085 00:48:24,820 --> 00:48:25,853 是这样啊 1086 00:48:27,955 --> 00:48:28,956 四姐妹呢 1087 00:48:29,156 --> 00:48:30,156 都在这了 1088 00:48:30,858 --> 00:48:31,959 她就是夏代 1089 00:48:35,564 --> 00:48:36,531 那个唱歌的 1090 00:48:36,531 --> 00:48:38,299 就是你喜欢的春子 1091 00:48:43,372 --> 00:48:44,840 怎么都是老太太啊 1092 00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:46,541 外面灯箱的照片 1093 00:48:46,775 --> 00:48:48,342 是她们四十年前照的 1094 00:48:51,546 --> 00:48:53,347 你确定不是四个老太太 1095 00:48:53,849 --> 00:48:55,450 我能不长记性吗 1096 00:48:55,851 --> 00:48:57,819 确定四个年轻的 1097 00:48:58,453 --> 00:48:59,954 嘀咕什么呢你们 1098 00:49:00,154 --> 00:49:01,154 小梁嫂 1099 00:49:01,523 --> 00:49:02,323 你也坐 1100 00:49:02,323 --> 00:49:03,525 我去切水果 1101 00:49:05,326 --> 00:49:06,894 你不用鬼鬼祟祟的 1102 00:49:06,894 --> 00:49:08,463 机器人哪会吃醋啊 1103 00:49:10,264 --> 00:49:10,931 怎么着 1104 00:49:10,931 --> 00:49:13,134 你是杨贵妃还是貂蝉 1105 00:49:13,134 --> 00:49:14,235 我就白蛇了 1106 00:49:14,335 --> 00:49:16,036 我喜欢专一温柔的 1107 00:49:16,137 --> 00:49:17,304 那我就青蛇了 1108 00:49:17,539 --> 00:49:19,140 我喜欢活泼率真的 1109 00:49:20,542 --> 00:49:22,243 您的白蛇来了 1110 00:49:36,525 --> 00:49:38,926 你们是男扮女装啊 1111 00:49:39,428 --> 00:49:40,429 我们是反串 1112 00:49:40,829 --> 00:49:43,364 那你们凭什么叫四姐妹呀 1113 00:49:43,832 --> 00:49:45,032 这不是骗人吗 1114 00:49:45,399 --> 00:49:47,968 因为我们老板是四位老姐妹呀 1115 00:49:48,202 --> 00:49:49,905 这居酒屋是她们开的 1116 00:49:50,171 --> 00:49:51,205 所以就叫四姐妹了 1117 00:49:53,842 --> 00:49:54,842 同一个坑 1118 00:49:55,142 --> 00:49:56,944 咱俩掉进来了两回 1119 00:49:57,978 --> 00:49:59,246 你不用找残疾证了 1120 00:49:59,246 --> 00:50:00,414 我给你证明 1121 00:50:01,048 --> 00:50:02,048 你是脑残 1122 00:50:03,150 --> 00:50:04,285 二位有车接吗 1123 00:50:04,285 --> 00:50:05,319 我帮您叫辆吧 1124 00:50:05,386 --> 00:50:06,788 有车 1125 00:50:06,788 --> 00:50:08,189 得找代驾 1126 00:50:14,863 --> 00:50:15,764 上车吧 1127 00:50:15,797 --> 00:50:16,430 小梁嫂 1128 00:50:16,430 --> 00:50:18,399 你怎么知道我们俩在这啊 1129 00:50:19,099 --> 00:50:20,434 上车 1130 00:50:22,838 --> 00:50:24,840 她多智能啊 1131 00:50:24,940 --> 00:50:26,842 定位咱俩 1132 00:50:26,875 --> 00:50:28,409 多简单呐 1133 00:50:28,910 --> 00:50:30,244 还用定位吗 1134 00:50:30,344 --> 00:50:31,847 有四姐妹的地方 1135 00:50:31,847 --> 00:50:33,414 能少得了你们俩 1136 00:50:45,192 --> 00:50:47,294 北海道那姐儿四个 1137 00:50:47,294 --> 00:50:50,030 加起来虽然三百多岁 1138 00:50:50,331 --> 00:50:51,933 起码是女的 1139 00:50:54,836 --> 00:50:57,338 这四位倒是年轻 1140 00:50:59,240 --> 00:51:00,842 男的 1141 00:51:04,311 --> 00:51:07,214 你说这世界还有诚信吗 1142 00:51:10,017 --> 00:51:12,419 都什么岁数了还喝大酒 1143 00:51:13,220 --> 00:51:14,021 我要是她 1144 00:51:14,054 --> 00:51:15,790 非得跟你急了 1145 00:51:17,024 --> 00:51:18,125 你要是她 1146 00:51:18,158 --> 00:51:19,794 我压根就不去 1147 00:51:21,295 --> 00:51:22,831 那就把我当成是她 1148 00:51:22,931 --> 00:51:24,131 以后不许去了 1149 00:51:35,442 --> 00:51:36,442 好点了吗 1150 00:51:37,846 --> 00:51:39,146 吐完好多了 1151 00:51:41,115 --> 00:51:42,551 你要是能喝酒 1152 00:51:43,417 --> 00:51:45,219 我就不用出去喝了 1153 00:51:48,522 --> 00:51:51,793 我明天必须找老范给你升级 1154 00:51:52,827 --> 00:51:54,395 让你能吃能喝 1155 00:51:55,529 --> 00:51:57,097 他要是不同意 1156 00:51:58,232 --> 00:51:59,433 我就绝食 1157 00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:01,535 我饿死我自己 1158 00:52:03,038 --> 00:52:04,438 脱了衣服再睡 1159 00:52:04,471 --> 00:52:06,507 别碰我别碰我 1160 00:52:16,116 --> 00:52:17,217 你知道吗 1161 00:52:18,319 --> 00:52:19,453 有时候 1162 00:52:19,854 --> 00:52:21,255 你还真的挺可爱的 1163 00:52:24,358 --> 00:52:27,062 你是没见过我可恨的一面 1164 00:52:29,363 --> 00:52:31,365 你觉得她为什么不回来呀 1165 00:52:33,500 --> 00:52:35,870 她不是陪伴型的呗 1166 00:52:40,875 --> 00:52:42,142 你觉得我跟她 1167 00:52:43,078 --> 00:52:44,178 像一个人 1168 00:52:44,211 --> 00:52:45,346 还是像两个人 1169 00:52:46,948 --> 00:52:49,450 我更希望像一个人 1170 00:52:52,519 --> 00:52:54,388 那你爱我还是爱她 1171 00:52:57,291 --> 00:52:58,459 我爱笑笑 1172 00:53:01,863 --> 00:53:02,998 那我也爱你 1173 00:53:05,199 --> 00:53:08,103 这话一出就像两个人 1174 00:53:11,873 --> 00:53:12,974 为了更像她 1175 00:53:13,074 --> 00:53:14,274 我以后不说了 1176 00:53:16,077 --> 00:53:19,047 在情感表达这个问题上 1177 00:53:20,481 --> 00:53:21,983 我更希望 1178 00:53:22,483 --> 00:53:24,151 她像你 1179 00:53:57,284 --> 00:53:59,921 人类进食是为了获取能量 1180 00:53:59,921 --> 00:54:02,222 而智能人的能量来自于电 1181 00:54:02,456 --> 00:54:05,426 为了不给用户增加不必要的开支 1182 00:54:05,426 --> 00:54:08,029 智能人没有设计食道和胃 1183 00:54:08,195 --> 00:54:09,195 对 1184 00:54:09,831 --> 00:54:11,099 朱迪说得特别对 1185 00:54:11,465 --> 00:54:14,135 我们的产品是服务客户的 1186 00:54:14,268 --> 00:54:15,369 讲究个奉献 1187 00:54:15,770 --> 00:54:17,972 咱不能把客户再给吃穷了 1188 00:54:18,272 --> 00:54:19,774 这吃饭呢 1189 00:54:19,941 --> 00:54:21,843 不仅能获取能量 1190 00:54:22,276 --> 00:54:23,544 也是社交 1191 00:54:24,244 --> 00:54:25,279 我举个例子 1192 00:54:25,479 --> 00:54:27,381 范老得罪我了 1193 00:54:27,448 --> 00:54:28,850 想跟我道歉 1194 00:54:28,850 --> 00:54:29,550 怎么办呢 1195 00:54:29,851 --> 00:54:30,952 请我吃顿饭 1196 00:54:31,152 --> 00:54:31,886 嗯 1197 00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:34,055 范老是我晚辈 1198 00:54:34,421 --> 00:54:35,522 来看望我 1199 00:54:36,057 --> 00:54:37,057 怎么办呢 1200 00:54:37,558 --> 00:54:38,559 请我吃顿饭 1201 00:54:39,359 --> 00:54:41,129 你怎么还占我便宜呢 1202 00:54:41,129 --> 00:54:42,063 举例 1203 00:54:42,063 --> 00:54:42,964 明白 1204 00:54:42,997 --> 00:54:44,799 范老请我来办事 1205 00:54:45,834 --> 00:54:46,835 该怎么做呢 1206 00:54:47,035 --> 00:54:48,203 请你吃个饭呗 1207 00:54:48,335 --> 00:54:50,205 这么一会我欠你三顿饭 1208 00:54:50,304 --> 00:54:51,940 又没让你真请 1209 00:54:52,006 --> 00:54:53,006 明白 1210 00:54:53,208 --> 00:54:54,843 你说你请我吃饭 1211 00:54:55,143 --> 00:54:56,543 你不能干吃吧 1212 00:54:57,045 --> 00:54:58,245 你得喝点吧 1213 00:54:58,345 --> 00:55:00,314 吃饭是拉近距离的 1214 00:55:00,915 --> 00:55:02,784 喝酒是增进感情的 1215 00:55:03,084 --> 00:55:04,085 你们不是说 1216 00:55:04,284 --> 00:55:05,854 凡是客户需要的 1217 00:55:05,854 --> 00:55:07,488 就是你们乐于奉献的吗 1218 00:55:08,189 --> 00:55:09,190 现在 1219 00:55:09,556 --> 00:55:11,425 我正式提出需求 1220 00:55:13,161 --> 00:55:14,261 你们怎么回答 1221 00:55:18,532 --> 00:55:19,532 不行 1222 00:55:20,168 --> 00:55:21,335 对不起 1223 00:55:23,838 --> 00:55:24,838 没辙 1224 00:55:25,439 --> 00:55:28,943 我们可以为智能人安装人工食道 1225 00:55:30,078 --> 00:55:31,146 和人工胃 1226 00:55:33,181 --> 00:55:35,482 这样我们就需要人工胃酸 1227 00:55:35,516 --> 00:55:38,086 将摄入的食物分解成水 1228 00:55:38,086 --> 00:55:39,888 再从水中提取糖分 1229 00:55:39,921 --> 00:55:42,456 将糖分转化成电能储存起来 1230 00:55:42,891 --> 00:55:44,092 这不就解决了吗 1231 00:55:44,458 --> 00:55:45,860 难点在哪里 1232 00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:48,362 难点在于我们没有人工胃酸 1233 00:55:48,362 --> 00:55:50,165 研发过程会很漫长 1234 00:55:50,364 --> 00:55:51,966 山西老陈醋行不行 1235 00:55:52,834 --> 00:55:54,368 找那种年头最长的 1236 00:55:54,401 --> 00:55:55,469 浓度最高的 1237 00:55:56,037 --> 00:55:56,537 范总 1238 00:55:56,537 --> 00:55:57,371 不可以 1239 00:55:57,404 --> 00:55:59,040 醋的学名是乙酸 1240 00:55:59,140 --> 00:56:01,142 但作为食品却是碱性的 1241 00:56:01,242 --> 00:56:02,844 无法溶解其他食物 1242 00:56:03,044 --> 00:56:04,044 硫酸呢 1243 00:56:04,344 --> 00:56:05,344 刷厕所的 1244 00:56:05,947 --> 00:56:06,947 我们了解到 1245 00:56:07,048 --> 00:56:10,151 有一家公司已经研制出了这种胃酸 1246 00:56:11,119 --> 00:56:12,187 这不是搞定了吗 1247 00:56:12,187 --> 00:56:12,786 对呀 1248 00:56:12,921 --> 00:56:14,923 这样笑笑每天就能陪我吃饭了 1249 00:56:15,023 --> 00:56:15,422 嗯 1250 00:56:15,824 --> 00:56:16,891 还能陪我喝点吧 1251 00:56:17,091 --> 00:56:18,091 嗯 1252 00:56:18,392 --> 00:56:20,261 您不怕费酒就行 1253 00:56:20,895 --> 00:56:23,298 那索性再升级一下 1254 00:56:23,497 --> 00:56:24,498 不光能喝 1255 00:56:24,765 --> 00:56:25,766 喝了还上脸 1256 00:56:25,967 --> 00:56:27,434 还能说点醉话什么的 1257 00:56:27,869 --> 00:56:29,237 这不就更完美了吗 1258 00:56:29,770 --> 00:56:31,139 技术上有没有盲点 1259 00:56:31,272 --> 00:56:32,272 这个不难 1260 00:56:32,339 --> 00:56:34,341 只要您设定好摄入的量 1261 00:56:34,441 --> 00:56:37,045 过量以后可以使神经元模糊 1262 00:56:37,045 --> 00:56:39,147 导致反应迟钝语言混乱 1263 00:56:39,413 --> 00:56:40,814 呈现醉酒状态 1264 00:56:41,015 --> 00:56:42,050 好好好 1265 00:56:42,250 --> 00:56:43,350 笑笑什么酒量 1266 00:56:43,784 --> 00:56:44,784 我一斤 1267 00:56:45,385 --> 00:56:46,385 她二两 1268 00:56:48,923 --> 00:56:51,425 胃酸那边开出具体价格了吗 1269 00:56:52,227 --> 00:56:53,328 对方希望 1270 00:56:53,328 --> 00:56:55,864 和我们共享智能人的专利 1271 00:56:55,864 --> 00:56:56,563 并提出 1272 00:56:56,797 --> 00:57:00,134 用此项技术换取我们百分之十的股权 1273 00:57:00,134 --> 00:57:01,269 一派胡言 1274 00:57:01,535 --> 00:57:02,502 这叫趁人之危 1275 00:57:02,502 --> 00:57:03,804 趁火打劫 1276 00:57:04,038 --> 00:57:05,038 不要脸 1277 00:57:06,807 --> 00:57:07,807 我就说吧 1278 00:57:08,042 --> 00:57:09,911 这里头肯定有埋伏 1279 00:57:11,212 --> 00:57:12,412 都盯着我这块肉呢 1280 00:57:13,814 --> 00:57:16,217 我觉得条件挺好的呀 1281 00:57:16,416 --> 00:57:17,886 同田俱富 1282 00:57:17,886 --> 00:57:19,120 分贝则贫嘛 1283 00:57:19,153 --> 00:57:21,222 你别站着说话不腰疼了 1284 00:57:21,388 --> 00:57:23,091 敢情不是你的家业 1285 00:57:23,291 --> 00:57:24,993 为了你那个笑笑能吃上饭 1286 00:57:24,993 --> 00:57:26,027 我吃不下饭了 1287 00:57:26,127 --> 00:57:27,127 我不同意 1288 00:57:27,527 --> 00:57:28,527 你别吃了啊 1289 00:57:30,899 --> 00:57:33,101 阿卡帕尼（Accompany ）什么意思 1290 00:57:36,137 --> 00:57:37,238 陪伴 1291 00:57:37,372 --> 00:57:38,805 你的智能人 1292 00:57:38,839 --> 00:57:40,308 都不能陪客户吃饭 1293 00:57:40,807 --> 00:57:43,011 这不是背离了企业的初衷吗 1294 00:57:44,212 --> 00:57:46,981 一个企业背离了自己的初心 1295 00:57:46,981 --> 00:57:48,016 离倒闭也不远了 1296 00:57:50,018 --> 00:57:51,319 精明了一辈子 1297 00:57:52,220 --> 00:57:54,421 怎么这点帐都算不过来呢 1298 00:57:55,256 --> 00:57:56,391 我一向是以 1299 00:57:56,391 --> 00:57:58,159 执着和勤劳著称 1300 00:57:58,492 --> 00:58:00,094 精明不是我的强项 1301 00:58:00,295 --> 00:58:02,096 你不要挑战我的软肋 1302 00:58:06,900 --> 00:58:08,403 我还是舍不得 1303 00:58:12,173 --> 00:58:13,173 这样吧 1304 00:58:13,975 --> 00:58:15,276 咱俩也别废话了 1305 00:58:16,777 --> 00:58:18,146 听天由命行不行 1306 00:58:18,478 --> 00:58:20,847 又是你那个分歧终端机的破发明啊 1307 00:58:21,382 --> 00:58:22,549 这是升级版 1308 00:58:23,450 --> 00:58:25,852 无论输赢我都能预知 1309 00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:28,855 保你在商战中立于不败之地 1310 00:58:29,523 --> 00:58:30,091 朱迪 1311 00:58:30,091 --> 00:58:31,092 你发个令 1312 00:58:32,559 --> 00:58:33,559 来吧 1313 00:58:34,494 --> 00:58:36,897 锤子剪子布 1314 00:58:37,966 --> 00:58:38,966 我赢了 1315 00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:40,301 股权保住了 1316 00:58:40,567 --> 00:58:41,568 慢慢慢 1317 00:58:42,836 --> 00:58:44,339 谁说比胜负了 1318 00:58:44,871 --> 00:58:47,408 我说的是我能预知结果 1319 00:58:49,177 --> 00:58:50,378 他是这么说的吗 1320 00:58:53,348 --> 00:58:54,348 那 1321 00:58:54,382 --> 00:58:55,882 那你怎么证明 1322 00:58:55,916 --> 00:58:57,784 你预知的结果是正确的呢 1323 00:59:01,155 --> 00:59:02,155 你自己看 1324 00:59:08,396 --> 00:59:09,563 （You win） 1325 00:59:11,232 --> 00:59:12,266 太神奇了 1326 00:59:14,035 --> 00:59:15,370 你是怎么做到的 1327 00:59:16,337 --> 00:59:17,771 这里头肯定有门子 1328 00:59:17,771 --> 00:59:18,339 你开个价 1329 00:59:18,339 --> 00:59:19,339 专利我买了 1330 00:59:19,474 --> 00:59:20,774 等笑笑能吃饭了 1331 00:59:20,774 --> 00:59:22,076 我告诉你门子 1332 00:59:22,176 --> 00:59:23,944 签字让股份 1333 00:59:24,078 --> 00:59:27,081 赶紧把人工胃酸拿下 1334 00:59:27,981 --> 00:59:28,982 好 1335 00:59:29,017 --> 00:59:30,017 愿赌服输 1336 00:59:30,984 --> 00:59:31,984 签 1337 00:59:33,987 --> 00:59:34,987 朱迪 1338 00:59:35,256 --> 00:59:36,890 后边事就交给你了 1339 00:59:37,358 --> 00:59:38,792 我得休息休息了 1340 00:59:39,093 --> 00:59:41,262 今天这个事对我伤害太大了 1341 00:59:52,040 --> 00:59:54,442 你怎么能预知输赢的结果呢 1342 00:59:55,043 --> 00:59:56,444 一共就两个结果 1343 00:59:56,843 --> 00:59:58,112 他赢了放帽子里 1344 00:59:58,112 --> 00:59:59,414 我赢了放兜里 1345 01:00:00,048 --> 01:00:01,382 看什么结果给什么条子 1346 01:00:01,382 --> 01:00:02,382 就这么简单 1347 01:00:03,984 --> 01:00:05,286 你看你看 1348 01:00:06,887 --> 01:00:07,921 我赢了 1349 01:00:09,123 --> 01:00:10,324 你怎么那么坏啊 1350 01:00:10,324 --> 01:00:11,858 净欺负老实人 1351 01:00:11,992 --> 01:00:13,194 所以我送他了 1352 01:00:13,894 --> 01:00:15,263 我要真是一坏人 1353 01:00:15,430 --> 01:00:17,231 还不切你们公司点股份 1354 01:00:19,133 --> 01:00:21,835 那我得替我们公司好好谢谢你啊 1355 01:00:34,215 --> 01:00:35,183 芒果 1356 01:00:35,183 --> 01:00:36,049 想我没 1357 01:00:36,150 --> 01:00:37,150 想啊 1358 01:00:38,051 --> 01:00:39,052 骗鬼吧你 1359 01:00:40,887 --> 01:00:41,888 这是 1360 01:00:57,271 --> 01:00:58,439 川川 1361 01:01:02,176 --> 01:01:03,277 长这么大了 1362 01:01:05,779 --> 01:01:07,281 都快认不出来了 1363 01:01:08,483 --> 01:01:09,483 叫人呀 1364 01:01:10,151 --> 01:01:11,151 大大好 1365 01:01:11,952 --> 01:01:12,386 快快快 1366 01:01:12,386 --> 01:01:13,386 快进来快进来 1367 01:01:14,188 --> 01:01:15,188 不用换鞋 1368 01:01:15,822 --> 01:01:16,823 她回来看奶奶 1369 01:01:17,125 --> 01:01:18,426 顺道带她来见见你 1370 01:01:20,194 --> 01:01:21,229 你这越老 1371 01:01:21,229 --> 01:01:23,096 屋子倒是弄得越花哨 1372 01:01:26,534 --> 01:01:27,534 笑笑 1373 01:01:30,505 --> 01:01:32,005 你怎么回来了 1374 01:01:35,276 --> 01:01:36,544 这十年没见 1375 01:01:37,278 --> 01:01:38,379 你上哪去了 1376 01:01:44,050 --> 01:01:45,785 你怎么一点都没变啊 1377 01:01:46,187 --> 01:01:47,522 你在哪做的医美啊 1378 01:01:48,356 --> 01:01:50,023 你看起来也很年轻啊 1379 01:01:50,258 --> 01:01:51,292 那必须的呀 1380 01:01:51,492 --> 01:01:53,093 我往脸上花多少钱了 1381 01:01:56,096 --> 01:01:57,096 对了对了 1382 01:01:57,231 --> 01:01:58,332 川川你还记得吧 1383 01:01:59,333 --> 01:02:00,333 叫阿姨 1384 01:02:01,134 --> 01:02:02,135 哈喽 笑笑 1385 01:02:03,003 --> 01:02:04,238 在国外待的吧 1386 01:02:04,238 --> 01:02:05,439 逮谁都直呼其名 1387 01:02:06,106 --> 01:02:07,007 你也是 1388 01:02:07,007 --> 01:02:08,808 她回来你怎么不跟我说一声 1389 01:02:10,311 --> 01:02:12,280 你们仔细看看她 1390 01:02:13,214 --> 01:02:14,415 有什么不对 1391 01:02:17,185 --> 01:02:18,519 没什么不对啊 1392 01:02:19,420 --> 01:02:21,021 就是看着比我年轻 1393 01:02:21,422 --> 01:02:22,822 别吓着你们 1394 01:02:23,424 --> 01:02:25,226 这是我按照笑笑 1395 01:02:25,226 --> 01:02:27,027 仿制的智能人 1396 01:02:32,333 --> 01:02:33,534 仿真人呀 1397 01:02:39,940 --> 01:02:41,409 这也太真了吧 1398 01:02:42,310 --> 01:02:44,245 这完全看不出任何破绽 1399 01:02:45,879 --> 01:02:47,415 我周围好多智能人 1400 01:02:47,415 --> 01:02:49,383 回来飞机上空姐全都是 1401 01:02:52,986 --> 01:02:54,555 你也真够一往情深 1402 01:02:55,556 --> 01:02:56,524 真的人回不来 1403 01:02:56,524 --> 01:02:58,526 你就弄一个假的糊弄自己 1404 01:03:00,160 --> 01:03:01,462 你不是不让我说嘛 1405 01:03:01,462 --> 01:03:03,063 怎么自己却跟别人说 1406 01:03:03,464 --> 01:03:04,864 骗别人行 1407 01:03:04,864 --> 01:03:06,032 哪敢骗她呀 1408 01:03:06,267 --> 01:03:07,267 你呀 1409 01:03:07,335 --> 01:03:09,237 再聊几句你就得穿帮 1410 01:03:09,537 --> 01:03:10,804 真说不定 1411 01:03:11,339 --> 01:03:12,440 你就拿她当真的 1412 01:03:13,139 --> 01:03:15,141 正赶上升级能吃能喝 1413 01:03:15,509 --> 01:03:17,944 今晚上咱好好喝一回 1414 01:03:18,246 --> 01:03:20,146 也试试她酒量如何 1415 01:03:20,548 --> 01:03:23,116 老范说她还有醉酒模式 1416 01:03:34,127 --> 01:03:35,862 我要是长眠于此 1417 01:03:35,962 --> 01:03:36,863 你乐意吗 1418 01:03:36,963 --> 01:03:37,963 不乐意啊 1419 01:03:38,965 --> 01:03:40,334 死了还不躲个清净 1420 01:03:41,167 --> 01:03:42,836 再让邻居给哭醒了 1421 01:03:44,938 --> 01:03:46,106 那就攘了 1422 01:03:46,906 --> 01:03:48,208 一副臭皮囊 1423 01:03:48,942 --> 01:03:50,010 攘了干净 1424 01:03:51,211 --> 01:03:52,211 你要是不忌讳 1425 01:03:53,046 --> 01:03:54,448 干脆买一花盆 1426 01:03:54,948 --> 01:03:56,450 把我装里边 1427 01:03:56,484 --> 01:03:58,118 栽一棵绿萝 1428 01:03:58,519 --> 01:04:00,954 包准长得又疯又高 1429 01:04:01,355 --> 01:04:02,956 每天看着你们笑 1430 01:04:11,097 --> 01:04:12,333 给你爸浇浇水 1431 01:04:14,100 --> 01:04:15,935 你爸生前最不爱喝水 1432 01:04:16,504 --> 01:04:18,004 死好几回了 1433 01:04:18,406 --> 01:04:20,840 雨水一浇又长出一茬新的 1434 01:04:21,409 --> 01:04:22,443 生生不息 1435 01:04:24,944 --> 01:04:26,347 二十年没见了 1436 01:04:26,813 --> 01:04:28,048 跟你爸念叨念叨 1437 01:04:32,486 --> 01:04:33,486 爸 1438 01:04:34,254 --> 01:04:35,556 我一切都好 1439 01:04:36,222 --> 01:04:37,222 放心吧 1440 01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:41,027 你这孩子怎么报喜不报忧呢 1441 01:04:41,562 --> 01:04:43,798 我只跟他说我开心的事 1442 01:04:44,197 --> 01:04:45,865 那些伤害我的 1443 01:04:46,266 --> 01:04:48,168 和让我难过的就不提了 1444 01:04:49,470 --> 01:04:50,837 因为他说过 1445 01:04:51,971 --> 01:04:53,273 我可能会原谅 1446 01:04:54,775 --> 01:04:55,776 但他不会 1447 01:04:56,976 --> 01:04:57,976 也是 1448 01:04:58,779 --> 01:05:01,281 身边老戳着一棵满腔怒火的树 1449 01:05:01,549 --> 01:05:02,882 我也受不了 1450 01:05:09,390 --> 01:05:11,958 我跟芒果一年还见一两回 1451 01:05:11,958 --> 01:05:14,027 上次咱们四个人坐一块 1452 01:05:14,027 --> 01:05:15,796 那都是二十年前的事了 1453 01:05:16,029 --> 01:05:16,764 来 1454 01:05:16,764 --> 01:05:17,764 喝一杯 1455 01:05:18,231 --> 01:05:19,367 敬久别重逢 1456 01:05:30,276 --> 01:05:31,276 芒果阿姨 1457 01:05:33,880 --> 01:05:35,281 我替我们全家 1458 01:05:35,882 --> 01:05:37,250 单敬您一杯 1459 01:05:38,151 --> 01:05:40,086 我爸都走二十年了 1460 01:05:40,286 --> 01:05:42,556 你们俩都离了你还照顾我奶奶 1461 01:05:43,457 --> 01:05:45,125 我打心里感激您 1462 01:05:46,960 --> 01:05:47,961 都怪你奶奶 1463 01:05:49,028 --> 01:05:50,865 非说离了我还是她闺女 1464 01:05:51,965 --> 01:05:54,535 这一句话耽误我少谈多少恋爱 1465 01:05:55,935 --> 01:05:56,837 现在好了 1466 01:05:56,837 --> 01:05:59,507 真把老太太交给别人我还不放心了 1467 01:06:00,508 --> 01:06:01,508 川川 1468 01:06:01,542 --> 01:06:02,542 你这杯酒 1469 01:06:03,209 --> 01:06:04,545 最该敬你大大 1470 01:06:05,446 --> 01:06:06,913 你爸这一走 1471 01:06:06,946 --> 01:06:08,348 甩给他一烂摊子 1472 01:06:09,949 --> 01:06:10,350 大大 1473 01:06:10,551 --> 01:06:11,551 我敬您 1474 01:06:19,192 --> 01:06:20,393 我这辈子 1475 01:06:22,295 --> 01:06:24,297 唯一后悔的一件事 1476 01:06:26,299 --> 01:06:29,035 就是陪你爸上了那条船 1477 01:06:30,403 --> 01:06:31,403 奋 1478 01:06:31,505 --> 01:06:33,139 其实我不怕死 1479 01:06:34,340 --> 01:06:35,340 真的 1480 01:06:39,045 --> 01:06:41,014 但是我怕生不如死 1481 01:06:42,450 --> 01:06:44,150 我想有尊严地死 1482 01:06:44,919 --> 01:06:45,985 去海边吧 1483 01:06:47,020 --> 01:06:48,789 我承诺给你尊严 1484 01:06:49,422 --> 01:06:51,024 我能相信你吗 1485 01:06:51,991 --> 01:06:52,991 朋友 1486 01:07:00,300 --> 01:07:01,535 他倒是解脱了 1487 01:07:04,505 --> 01:07:06,841 你们知道我是怎么过的 1488 01:07:15,783 --> 01:07:17,485 好长一段时间 1489 01:07:21,120 --> 01:07:24,224 我就是觉得他死我手里了 1490 01:07:28,228 --> 01:07:29,497 一想到他 1491 01:07:30,798 --> 01:07:32,833 我倒觉得亏心 1492 01:07:38,806 --> 01:07:40,473 到现在我都不敢 1493 01:07:40,908 --> 01:07:42,510 往游泳池边上凑 1494 01:07:44,177 --> 01:07:45,846 听不了别人 1495 01:07:45,880 --> 01:07:48,181 跳水那扑通一声 1496 01:07:55,956 --> 01:07:58,291 他是真害人呐 1497 01:08:07,066 --> 01:08:07,367 来来来 1498 01:08:07,367 --> 01:08:08,368 吃菜吃菜 1499 01:08:09,102 --> 01:08:11,170 尝尝川川带来的野生海参 1500 01:08:12,540 --> 01:08:13,974 我爸还说呢 1501 01:08:14,474 --> 01:08:15,375 他说 1502 01:08:15,408 --> 01:08:18,044 他们那帮老哥们儿婚姻没一个到头的 1503 01:08:18,177 --> 01:08:19,479 他就觉得 1504 01:08:19,479 --> 01:08:20,981 您跟笑笑阿姨行 1505 01:08:22,382 --> 01:08:23,483 真让他说着了 1506 01:08:25,084 --> 01:08:26,787 你还真当她是梁笑笑 1507 01:08:27,855 --> 01:08:29,455 机器人再好 1508 01:08:29,890 --> 01:08:31,057 那也是机器 1509 01:08:31,491 --> 01:08:33,393 沟通再顺畅再默契 1510 01:08:33,493 --> 01:08:35,295 她不也程序设定的吗 1511 01:08:35,328 --> 01:08:37,998 你还真打算跟一机器人安度晚年 1512 01:08:39,198 --> 01:08:40,968 她就是梁笑笑 1513 01:08:42,002 --> 01:08:43,804 虽然我跟笑笑是闺蜜 1514 01:08:44,103 --> 01:08:45,940 但这事我可真不向着她 1515 01:08:46,339 --> 01:08:47,775 一走十年 1516 01:08:48,008 --> 01:08:49,009 也不离 1517 01:08:49,242 --> 01:08:50,945 这不占着茅坑不拉屎吗 1518 01:08:51,779 --> 01:08:52,880 就是个比喻 1519 01:08:53,847 --> 01:08:55,214 你跟我学习学习 1520 01:08:55,448 --> 01:08:56,951 我都离八回了 1521 01:08:57,952 --> 01:09:00,054 我新找那小男友比川川都小 1522 01:09:00,453 --> 01:09:01,453 羡慕吧 1523 01:09:02,221 --> 01:09:03,356 你再看你 1524 01:09:03,857 --> 01:09:05,859 还留在原地一往情深呢 1525 01:09:06,192 --> 01:09:07,493 你这是感动自己 1526 01:09:07,527 --> 01:09:09,063 还是为了感动她 1527 01:09:10,196 --> 01:09:11,196 她知道吗 1528 01:09:11,765 --> 01:09:12,766 领情吗 1529 01:09:13,533 --> 01:09:15,368 我也没图她领情 1530 01:09:16,235 --> 01:09:18,872 当初我们俩领证的时候我就想啊 1531 01:09:18,872 --> 01:09:20,273 既然结了 1532 01:09:20,306 --> 01:09:21,341 就没打算离 1533 01:09:22,076 --> 01:09:23,176 不爱也不离啊 1534 01:09:25,278 --> 01:09:27,047 你爱她我知道 1535 01:09:27,480 --> 01:09:29,182 那你觉得她还爱你吗 1536 01:09:29,783 --> 01:09:30,783 爱呀 1537 01:09:30,851 --> 01:09:33,386 就凭她寄回来那几张破明信片呀 1538 01:09:33,386 --> 01:09:35,889 她心里要是没我就直说了 1539 01:09:35,923 --> 01:09:36,957 犯不上这么干 1540 01:09:37,091 --> 01:09:38,092 我了解她 1541 01:09:38,792 --> 01:09:39,792 行了吧 1542 01:09:40,393 --> 01:09:42,796 人在的时候天天吵架 1543 01:09:42,896 --> 01:09:44,765 人不在了你就各种理想化 1544 01:09:44,865 --> 01:09:45,865 你这叫什么呀 1545 01:09:46,033 --> 01:09:47,067 自欺欺人 1546 01:09:47,067 --> 01:09:48,234 自怜自艾 1547 01:09:48,902 --> 01:09:51,005 人生何尝不是一场戏啊 1548 01:09:51,404 --> 01:09:53,373 我演了一辈子虚头巴脑 1549 01:09:53,506 --> 01:09:55,508 到末了也分不清哪个是真的我 1550 01:09:56,309 --> 01:09:58,478 你就别操心我了行吗 1551 01:09:59,113 --> 01:10:01,015 爱她本来就是我自己的事 1552 01:10:01,314 --> 01:10:02,515 她爱我我高兴 1553 01:10:02,816 --> 01:10:04,084 她不爱我我活该 1554 01:10:04,217 --> 01:10:05,819 她爱回来不回来 1555 01:10:09,023 --> 01:10:10,090 还聊生气了 1556 01:10:10,891 --> 01:10:12,158 我是替你不值 1557 01:10:13,493 --> 01:10:15,062 反正我不相信真爱 1558 01:10:15,062 --> 01:10:16,396 你俩开心就好 1559 01:10:19,499 --> 01:10:20,499 别生气 1560 01:10:21,267 --> 01:10:22,301 你还有我呢 1561 01:10:27,206 --> 01:10:28,508 瞧瞧这科技 1562 01:10:29,810 --> 01:10:31,111 还有泪腺呢 1563 01:10:39,485 --> 01:10:40,821 还是咸的 1564 01:10:40,921 --> 01:10:42,288 那是你手上的汗 1565 01:10:42,321 --> 01:10:44,124 三伏天沾什么不是咸的 1566 01:11:00,974 --> 01:11:03,110 我这么一往情深的 1567 01:11:03,476 --> 01:11:04,978 她领情吗 1568 01:11:05,511 --> 01:11:07,513 你不是说你不在乎吗 1569 01:11:08,182 --> 01:11:09,783 我吹呢 1570 01:11:13,754 --> 01:11:14,754 想吐吗 1571 01:11:18,158 --> 01:11:19,158 这疼 1572 01:11:21,061 --> 01:11:22,395 喘不上气 1573 01:11:23,262 --> 01:11:24,262 体检 1574 01:11:32,206 --> 01:11:33,907 患者心脏三支主血管 1575 01:11:33,907 --> 01:11:35,508 已经堵塞了百分之九十九 1576 01:11:35,541 --> 01:11:37,111 现在请你把他原地放平 1577 01:11:37,144 --> 01:11:38,011 不要移动他 1578 01:11:38,112 --> 01:11:39,113 马上给他吸氧 1579 01:11:39,312 --> 01:11:41,115 急救人员十分钟之内赶到 1580 01:11:48,856 --> 01:11:49,856 秦奋 1581 01:11:50,090 --> 01:11:51,090 醒醒 1582 01:11:51,491 --> 01:11:52,491 你不要睡 1583 01:11:53,392 --> 01:11:54,392 秦奋 1584 01:11:55,896 --> 01:11:56,896 醒醒 1585 01:11:57,396 --> 01:11:58,396 不要睡 1586 01:12:06,272 --> 01:12:08,307 全球最后一头野生北极熊 1587 01:12:08,341 --> 01:12:10,409 经全力抢救医治无效 1588 01:12:10,409 --> 01:12:12,946 于北京时间今天凌晨死亡 1589 01:12:13,080 --> 01:12:15,481 北极熊物种正式宣告灭绝 1590 01:12:15,481 --> 01:12:18,085 联合国发文表示痛心及遗憾 1591 01:12:18,085 --> 01:12:20,854 呼吁大家保护地球善待动物 1592 01:12:22,189 --> 01:12:24,158 阿卡帕尼仿生科技集团 1593 01:12:24,158 --> 01:12:25,893 与世界环保组织 1594 01:12:25,893 --> 01:12:28,162 合作研发的环保智能人 1595 01:12:28,162 --> 01:12:30,463 将于未来一个月内投入使用 1596 01:12:30,463 --> 01:12:31,799 该产品面世后 1597 01:12:31,832 --> 01:12:33,066 将更多地运用于 1598 01:12:33,066 --> 01:12:35,301 地球环境保护的推广宣传 1599 01:12:35,301 --> 01:12:36,804 及实体工作 1600 01:12:38,371 --> 01:12:39,772 智能人要是能 1601 01:12:39,772 --> 01:12:42,075 把全世界的垃圾捡完了 1602 01:12:42,475 --> 01:12:44,211 那这帮环保志愿者 1603 01:12:44,244 --> 01:12:45,478 不就没事干了吗 1604 01:12:46,947 --> 01:12:47,948 是啊 1605 01:12:47,948 --> 01:12:49,850 也许过不了多久她就回来了 1606 01:12:50,083 --> 01:12:51,151 我的使命 1607 01:12:51,151 --> 01:12:52,186 也就完成了 1608 01:12:54,320 --> 01:12:57,191 这回你把我从鬼门关拽回来 1609 01:12:58,424 --> 01:13:00,227 我哪能丢下你啊 1610 01:13:02,528 --> 01:13:04,131 如果她回来了 1611 01:13:04,131 --> 01:13:06,099 公司就会把我回收了 1612 01:13:07,100 --> 01:13:09,002 她要是真回来了 1613 01:13:09,236 --> 01:13:10,803 我肯定得接着 1614 01:13:14,208 --> 01:13:16,109 大不了咱仨一起过 1615 01:13:52,411 --> 01:13:54,181 太素了 1616 01:13:54,814 --> 01:13:56,216 我想吃肉 1617 01:13:56,782 --> 01:13:57,918 乖 忍着 1618 01:13:57,918 --> 01:13:59,319 明年给你吃 1619 01:14:09,897 --> 01:14:12,199 桂花酒酿味的 1620 01:14:12,199 --> 01:14:13,499 放心吧没酒精 1621 01:14:14,400 --> 01:14:15,868 你一提酒 1622 01:14:15,868 --> 01:14:17,503 给我这馋虫勾出来了 1623 01:14:23,310 --> 01:14:25,012 我那些酒呢 1624 01:14:25,012 --> 01:14:26,412 我都送给邬桑了 1625 01:14:32,852 --> 01:14:34,121 听花还在 1626 01:14:37,958 --> 01:14:39,259 怎么都空了 1627 01:14:39,259 --> 01:14:41,328 留个空瓶子让你过过眼瘾 1628 01:14:42,262 --> 01:14:43,964 小酌也不行嘛 1629 01:14:44,264 --> 01:14:46,099 你可以小酌一点醋 1630 01:14:46,199 --> 01:14:47,200 软化血管 1631 01:14:51,305 --> 01:14:52,438 我也不让你多喝 1632 01:14:52,438 --> 01:14:53,438 就三两 1633 01:14:53,506 --> 01:14:54,408 真喝不了了 1634 01:14:54,408 --> 01:14:55,908 一会儿我还开车呢 1635 01:14:56,410 --> 01:14:57,978 回头让查醋驾的员警 1636 01:14:57,978 --> 01:14:58,979 再给我逮着了 1637 01:14:59,512 --> 01:15:00,913 你讽刺我 1638 01:15:01,881 --> 01:15:03,116 管人特过瘾吧 1639 01:15:03,916 --> 01:15:06,519 赋予你权利不是让你来作恶的 1640 01:15:07,020 --> 01:15:08,521 我都是为你好 1641 01:15:09,022 --> 01:15:11,524 从小到大凡是说为我好的 1642 01:15:11,992 --> 01:15:14,261 都是打着善意的幌子摧残我的 1643 01:15:15,295 --> 01:15:17,863 我一听这句话就有不祥的预感 1644 01:15:18,898 --> 01:15:20,300 心里都落下阴影了 1645 01:15:22,402 --> 01:15:23,469 你要是 1646 01:15:23,903 --> 01:15:24,972 真为我好 1647 01:15:25,504 --> 01:15:26,806 就给我按摩 1648 01:15:27,307 --> 01:15:28,808 舒筋活血 1649 01:15:29,376 --> 01:15:31,111 大夫没说这不行吧 1650 01:15:32,878 --> 01:15:33,878 好好吃饭 1651 01:15:36,216 --> 01:15:37,216 宝强 1652 01:15:37,317 --> 01:15:38,118 叔 1653 01:15:38,118 --> 01:15:39,086 啥事 1654 01:15:39,086 --> 01:15:40,086 音乐 1655 01:15:40,120 --> 01:15:41,121 啥曲啊 1656 01:15:41,421 --> 01:15:42,421 末代皇帝 1657 01:15:42,888 --> 01:15:43,888 中 1658 01:15:49,528 --> 01:15:51,031 两只手搓 1659 01:15:51,264 --> 01:15:52,265 使劲搓 1660 01:15:53,200 --> 01:15:54,200 热了吗 1661 01:15:54,500 --> 01:15:55,500 热了 1662 01:15:56,303 --> 01:15:58,271 把油滴手心里 1663 01:16:01,874 --> 01:16:03,310 拿手碾一碾 1664 01:16:05,479 --> 01:16:07,481 然后把手放我腰上 1665 01:16:09,815 --> 01:16:10,815 往上捋 1666 01:16:13,153 --> 01:16:14,153 舒服 1667 01:16:15,355 --> 01:16:16,390 再捋 1668 01:16:19,259 --> 01:16:20,293 你们机器人 1669 01:16:20,327 --> 01:16:22,195 不知道什么叫累吧 1670 01:16:24,064 --> 01:16:25,064 嗯 1671 01:16:25,198 --> 01:16:27,267 那你再给我加十个钟 1672 01:16:29,403 --> 01:16:31,505 你真把自己当末代皇帝了吧 1673 01:16:33,473 --> 01:16:36,109 这话听着太熟悉了 1674 01:16:41,847 --> 01:16:43,450 你把自己当末代皇帝了吧 1675 01:16:44,051 --> 01:16:45,385 二十年前 1676 01:16:45,818 --> 01:16:47,920 你一模一样地说过 1677 01:16:49,423 --> 01:16:52,192 我以为找不回来了呢 1678 01:16:52,825 --> 01:16:53,527 别哭 1679 01:16:53,759 --> 01:16:54,927 这不回来了吗 1680 01:17:05,037 --> 01:17:06,037 笑笑 1681 01:17:07,441 --> 01:17:08,808 你怎么回来了 1682 01:17:09,008 --> 01:17:10,077 锁没换 1683 01:17:10,110 --> 01:17:11,110 人换了 1684 01:17:12,945 --> 01:17:13,946 快起来起来 1685 01:17:21,088 --> 01:17:22,189 笑笑 1686 01:17:23,989 --> 01:17:25,158 哎呦 1687 01:17:25,958 --> 01:17:27,127 哎呦 1688 01:17:27,427 --> 01:17:28,794 你真回来了 1689 01:17:28,994 --> 01:17:29,994 行了 1690 01:17:30,029 --> 01:17:31,029 她是谁啊 1691 01:17:34,167 --> 01:17:35,202 你别误会 1692 01:17:35,235 --> 01:17:36,235 我跟你解释啊 1693 01:17:36,303 --> 01:17:37,303 她 1694 01:17:39,038 --> 01:17:40,307 误会什么呀 1695 01:17:40,540 --> 01:17:42,142 她不就是你吗 1696 01:17:44,444 --> 01:17:45,512 她是我 1697 01:17:47,114 --> 01:17:48,181 那我是谁啊 1698 01:17:49,116 --> 01:17:50,217 你听我解释啊 1699 01:17:51,485 --> 01:17:53,186 你十年没露面了 1700 01:17:53,186 --> 01:17:54,521 老范怕我孤独 1701 01:17:54,820 --> 01:17:55,921 给我做了一个你 1702 01:17:55,955 --> 01:17:56,989 替你照顾我 1703 01:17:57,124 --> 01:18:00,393 谁知道你突然就回来了 1704 01:18:00,427 --> 01:18:02,027 嫌我多余了是吧 1705 01:18:02,061 --> 01:18:02,529 我走 1706 01:18:02,529 --> 01:18:03,530 别别别 你别走 1707 01:18:03,530 --> 01:18:04,530 你听我解释 1708 01:18:06,832 --> 01:18:07,832 她是 1709 01:18:08,235 --> 01:18:09,902 人工智能人 1710 01:18:10,137 --> 01:18:11,304 假的 1711 01:18:11,404 --> 01:18:13,005 你吃她什么醋啊 1712 01:18:13,406 --> 01:18:15,208 我要做一个舒淇什么的 1713 01:18:15,509 --> 01:18:17,109 也算我移情别恋 1714 01:18:17,310 --> 01:18:19,312 我移的还是你呀 1715 01:18:20,280 --> 01:18:22,114 只不过比你年轻了一点 1716 01:18:22,415 --> 01:18:23,816 十年没见了 1717 01:18:23,849 --> 01:18:24,884 我哪知道 1718 01:18:24,884 --> 01:18:26,219 你老成这样 1719 01:18:26,919 --> 01:18:29,088 不 也不算太老 1720 01:18:29,189 --> 01:18:32,091 那都是风餐露宿晒的 1721 01:18:32,892 --> 01:18:34,894 回头好好洗个澡 1722 01:18:35,127 --> 01:18:36,829 护个肤美个容 1723 01:18:37,297 --> 01:18:38,431 还是能看的 1724 01:18:38,931 --> 01:18:39,931 能 1725 01:18:40,233 --> 01:18:41,301 不是能看 1726 01:18:41,334 --> 01:18:42,334 是好看 1727 01:18:42,536 --> 01:18:43,536 好看 1728 01:18:52,111 --> 01:18:54,381 我说怎么看着这么眼熟 1729 01:18:54,381 --> 01:18:56,283 原来是年轻的我 1730 01:19:00,287 --> 01:19:01,287 会说话吗 1731 01:19:01,321 --> 01:19:02,321 叫姐姐 1732 01:19:03,122 --> 01:19:03,923 姐姐好 1733 01:19:03,989 --> 01:19:05,292 秦奋老跟我说起你 1734 01:19:05,891 --> 01:19:06,891 说我什么 1735 01:19:07,159 --> 01:19:09,895 他说你脾气大特别任性 1736 01:19:10,497 --> 01:19:11,764 度假才玩到一半 1737 01:19:12,131 --> 01:19:12,965 就扔下他 1738 01:19:12,965 --> 01:19:13,933 跟别人跑了 1739 01:19:13,966 --> 01:19:15,000 挑事是吧 1740 01:19:15,302 --> 01:19:17,069 我们智能人跟你们真人 1741 01:19:17,069 --> 01:19:18,471 最大的区别就是 1742 01:19:18,471 --> 01:19:19,471 不会撒谎 1743 01:19:19,905 --> 01:19:22,174 那你怎么不说我还老夸她呢 1744 01:19:23,108 --> 01:19:24,277 我老跟她说 1745 01:19:24,411 --> 01:19:25,911 如果有来世 1746 01:19:25,911 --> 01:19:26,912 下辈子 1747 01:19:26,946 --> 01:19:27,946 我还娶你 1748 01:19:28,215 --> 01:19:30,115 最好从小学就认识 1749 01:19:30,283 --> 01:19:32,084 中学一毕业就结婚 1750 01:19:32,219 --> 01:19:34,321 这辈子认识你太晚了 1751 01:19:34,820 --> 01:19:36,021 待不够 1752 01:19:37,224 --> 01:19:38,391 什么叫任性 1753 01:19:38,991 --> 01:19:40,227 那叫有主见 1754 01:19:41,228 --> 01:19:42,895 后边那半句她没说 1755 01:19:43,996 --> 01:19:45,398 我说没说过这句话 1756 01:19:46,198 --> 01:19:47,198 说过 1757 01:19:48,100 --> 01:19:49,469 他还说会等你一辈子 1758 01:19:50,069 --> 01:19:51,003 他老了 1759 01:19:51,036 --> 01:19:52,305 上下山不方便 1760 01:19:52,771 --> 01:19:53,906 可他也不搬家 1761 01:19:54,006 --> 01:19:57,109 还有现在的门锁都是人脸识别了 1762 01:19:57,410 --> 01:19:58,911 他也一直不换 1763 01:19:59,412 --> 01:20:01,880 他说你有家里的钥匙 1764 01:20:02,114 --> 01:20:04,216 万一你回来了他不在家 1765 01:20:04,384 --> 01:20:06,218 也不至于把你关在外面 1766 01:20:06,319 --> 01:20:07,320 还有啊 1767 01:20:07,820 --> 01:20:08,820 他还说 1768 01:20:08,921 --> 01:20:10,390 你们两个在那一方面 1769 01:20:10,390 --> 01:20:11,090 停 1770 01:20:11,291 --> 01:20:12,758 这方面就别聊了 1771 01:20:12,992 --> 01:20:14,793 你怎么什么都跟别人说 1772 01:20:15,794 --> 01:20:16,795 我不是别人 1773 01:20:16,862 --> 01:20:17,896 我就是你 1774 01:20:42,921 --> 01:20:44,890 这回不用再做新风筝了 1775 01:20:48,495 --> 01:20:50,963 行了 谢谢你替我照顾他 1776 01:20:51,263 --> 01:20:53,165 这个家里只能有一个笑笑 1777 01:20:53,165 --> 01:20:54,199 你可以走了 1778 01:20:57,970 --> 01:20:59,372 让老范把她收回去吧 1779 01:21:05,110 --> 01:21:06,211 难舍难分啦 1780 01:21:08,080 --> 01:21:09,114 处出感情啦 1781 01:21:11,351 --> 01:21:12,051 行 1782 01:21:12,051 --> 01:21:13,051 我走 1783 01:21:15,154 --> 01:21:16,154 让她走 1784 01:21:16,255 --> 01:21:17,255 让她走 1785 01:21:17,791 --> 01:21:19,392 你都没有抱抱我 1786 01:21:20,059 --> 01:21:21,059 来 1787 01:21:21,293 --> 01:21:22,293 抱抱 1788 01:21:24,296 --> 01:21:26,198 可把你盼回来了 1789 01:21:31,471 --> 01:21:33,105 你好好陪姐姐吧 1790 01:21:33,473 --> 01:21:35,107 我走了 1791 01:21:35,207 --> 01:21:36,208 我送送她 1792 01:21:39,479 --> 01:21:40,814 我送送她 1793 01:21:50,390 --> 01:21:51,391 把衣服穿上 1794 01:21:52,091 --> 01:21:53,192 我不知冷暖 1795 01:21:53,892 --> 01:21:54,993 那也穿上 1796 01:22:12,344 --> 01:22:14,279 我刚回来就不留你吃饭了 1797 01:22:14,447 --> 01:22:15,948 自己走认识路吗 1798 01:22:15,948 --> 01:22:17,450 见到老范代我问个好 1799 01:22:19,184 --> 01:22:20,085 老公 1800 01:22:20,085 --> 01:22:21,086 我先洗澡喽 1801 01:22:22,087 --> 01:22:23,456 我就给她送到吊桥那 1802 01:22:36,403 --> 01:22:38,405 没想到分别来得这么快 1803 01:22:39,371 --> 01:22:40,874 这人就是不禁念叨 1804 01:22:41,474 --> 01:22:42,776 真回来了 1805 01:22:44,009 --> 01:22:45,377 咱俩就此一别 1806 01:22:45,879 --> 01:22:47,379 以后再也见不着了吧 1807 01:22:48,782 --> 01:22:50,784 我回去之后就会被重置 1808 01:22:50,983 --> 01:22:52,886 关于你的一切记忆 1809 01:22:52,918 --> 01:22:53,986 都会被抹去 1810 01:22:55,120 --> 01:22:56,321 你诚实地告诉我 1811 01:22:56,321 --> 01:22:58,792 你第一眼见到她的反应是什么 1812 01:22:59,124 --> 01:23:00,124 老了 1813 01:23:01,428 --> 01:23:02,829 我心里一直想的 1814 01:23:02,862 --> 01:23:03,929 是你这样的她 1815 01:23:05,432 --> 01:23:06,833 让你失望了 1816 01:23:08,501 --> 01:23:09,903 让我心疼了 1817 01:23:11,203 --> 01:23:13,105 脸晒得跟花瓜似的 1818 01:23:13,138 --> 01:23:14,273 人也干巴了 1819 01:23:14,507 --> 01:23:15,374 甭问就知道 1820 01:23:15,374 --> 01:23:17,811 这些年在外边受了多大的罪 1821 01:23:19,311 --> 01:23:20,379 苦尽甘来 1822 01:23:20,780 --> 01:23:21,980 她终于回来了 1823 01:23:22,482 --> 01:23:24,116 说明她心里还有我 1824 01:23:24,416 --> 01:23:25,518 还有这个家 1825 01:23:26,519 --> 01:23:28,020 我没有白等她 1826 01:23:30,322 --> 01:23:31,891 我得好好疼她 1827 01:23:33,927 --> 01:23:35,227 那你有想过我吗 1828 01:23:35,394 --> 01:23:37,029 实话实说没顾上 1829 01:23:38,330 --> 01:23:40,199 可是她刚才一说让你走 1830 01:23:40,834 --> 01:23:42,234 我一下又拧了 1831 01:23:43,503 --> 01:23:44,804 你不是说姐姐回来 1832 01:23:44,804 --> 01:23:46,271 咱们仨一起过吗 1833 01:23:48,207 --> 01:23:50,008 你们人类最喜欢撒谎 1834 01:23:52,879 --> 01:23:54,781 一山难容二虎啊 1835 01:23:55,515 --> 01:23:57,817 姐姐当虎我当猫还不行吗 1836 01:23:59,184 --> 01:24:00,820 我可愿意伺候你了 1837 01:24:04,122 --> 01:24:06,091 再过几天就是你的生日了 1838 01:24:07,125 --> 01:24:08,495 过完你的生日我再走 1839 01:24:08,495 --> 01:24:09,495 行吗 1840 01:24:20,773 --> 01:24:21,908 送了这么久 1841 01:24:21,908 --> 01:24:24,109 我以为你也不回来了 1842 01:24:25,310 --> 01:24:26,880 你怎么又回来了 1843 01:24:30,015 --> 01:24:31,083 你跟姐姐说 1844 01:24:32,519 --> 01:24:33,218 姐 1845 01:24:33,218 --> 01:24:35,087 过两天就是秦先生的生日了 1846 01:24:35,220 --> 01:24:37,422 公司为秦先生搞了个派对 1847 01:24:37,524 --> 01:24:39,526 邀请了所有的客户参加 1848 01:24:39,826 --> 01:24:41,226 也庆祝你的回归 1849 01:24:41,226 --> 01:24:43,028 让我站好最后一班岗 1850 01:24:43,028 --> 01:24:44,797 做好交接服务 1851 01:24:45,297 --> 01:24:47,165 我们俩有什么可交接的呀 1852 01:24:59,111 --> 01:25:00,279 三个支架 1853 01:25:01,480 --> 01:25:03,215 刚从医院出来 1854 01:25:05,217 --> 01:25:06,819 还在康复期 1855 01:25:07,319 --> 01:25:08,319 来 1856 01:25:16,094 --> 01:25:17,429 这一大堆药 1857 01:25:17,797 --> 01:25:18,865 什么时候吃 1858 01:25:19,097 --> 01:25:20,097 吃多少 1859 01:25:20,767 --> 01:25:22,902 哪个先吃哪个后吃 1860 01:25:23,201 --> 01:25:24,503 营养餐怎么配 1861 01:25:25,270 --> 01:25:27,205 什么能吃什么不能吃 1862 01:25:27,807 --> 01:25:29,308 我一概都不知道 1863 01:25:30,108 --> 01:25:32,779 这都是医生事先跟她嘱咐好了的 1864 01:25:33,512 --> 01:25:35,180 万一我要是吃错了 1865 01:25:35,848 --> 01:25:36,916 我的生日会 1866 01:25:37,016 --> 01:25:38,350 就变追悼会了 1867 01:25:38,517 --> 01:25:39,517 那不能 1868 01:25:39,886 --> 01:25:40,485 叔 1869 01:25:40,485 --> 01:25:41,320 您放心 1870 01:25:41,486 --> 01:25:42,287 还有我呢 1871 01:25:42,287 --> 01:25:43,856 有你啥事 1872 01:25:43,957 --> 01:25:44,423 退下 1873 01:25:44,523 --> 01:25:46,291 屋里怎么还有一个人呢 1874 01:25:46,458 --> 01:25:47,459 智能管家 1875 01:25:47,827 --> 01:25:48,861 不光吃药 1876 01:25:48,861 --> 01:25:49,896 医生还说 1877 01:25:49,896 --> 01:25:51,363 一切让他心跳加速 1878 01:25:51,363 --> 01:25:52,264 血压升高 1879 01:25:52,264 --> 01:25:53,800 情绪激动的事情 1880 01:25:53,800 --> 01:25:55,167 都是严令禁止的 1881 01:25:55,167 --> 01:25:56,268 要求他静养 1882 01:25:56,368 --> 01:25:57,971 家务活都是我干的 1883 01:25:58,071 --> 01:25:59,137 是是是 1884 01:25:59,137 --> 01:26:00,974 油瓶子倒了我都不扶 1885 01:26:01,406 --> 01:26:03,776 衣来伸手饭来张口 1886 01:26:05,110 --> 01:26:06,110 废了 1887 01:26:09,181 --> 01:26:11,483 照你这意思她是走不了了 1888 01:26:11,851 --> 01:26:12,885 过渡一下 1889 01:26:12,885 --> 01:26:13,886 三天 1890 01:26:14,087 --> 01:26:15,287 顶多一个礼拜 1891 01:26:15,320 --> 01:26:17,090 撑死不超过半个月 1892 01:26:17,890 --> 01:26:19,291 这还取决于你 1893 01:26:19,291 --> 01:26:20,760 能不能很快地 1894 01:26:20,760 --> 01:26:22,527 把这摊子事给接过来 1895 01:26:28,467 --> 01:26:30,103 我岁数也不小了 1896 01:26:30,402 --> 01:26:32,137 家里要是有这么一个小保姆 1897 01:26:32,137 --> 01:26:33,205 也不是不行 1898 01:26:34,506 --> 01:26:35,507 先留下吧 1899 01:26:36,208 --> 01:26:37,476 还不快谢谢姐 1900 01:26:38,243 --> 01:26:39,243 姐姐歇息吧 1901 01:26:39,277 --> 01:26:41,179 你不想做的事情我全包了 1902 01:26:42,381 --> 01:26:43,482 晚上吃什么 1903 01:26:43,482 --> 01:26:45,150 我刚回来可不想做饭 1904 01:26:45,250 --> 01:26:46,485 姐姐想吃什么呀 1905 01:26:46,919 --> 01:26:48,220 你不就是我吗 1906 01:26:48,320 --> 01:26:49,922 我想吃什么你不知道吗 1907 01:27:06,538 --> 01:27:09,408 知道一千零一夜的典故吗 1908 01:27:10,810 --> 01:27:12,912 为什么一夜讲完的故事 1909 01:27:12,912 --> 01:27:14,814 讲了一千零一夜 1910 01:27:15,915 --> 01:27:17,315 因为一天讲完了 1911 01:27:17,315 --> 01:27:19,317 国王就会把她给杀了 1912 01:27:19,484 --> 01:27:20,484 对 1913 01:27:21,020 --> 01:27:23,923 鸟尽弓藏兔死狗烹 1914 01:27:24,523 --> 01:27:26,125 家里这点事 1915 01:27:26,224 --> 01:27:27,827 慢慢交接 1916 01:27:28,293 --> 01:27:29,796 留着点心眼儿 1917 01:27:30,797 --> 01:27:31,797 嗯 1918 01:27:33,398 --> 01:27:34,398 给你接风 1919 01:27:34,834 --> 01:27:36,035 咱晚上出去吃 1920 01:28:00,093 --> 01:28:01,259 欢迎光临威斯汀 1921 01:28:23,149 --> 01:28:23,916 这是菜单 1922 01:28:23,916 --> 01:28:25,450 您看一下有什么想吃的 1923 01:28:27,854 --> 01:28:30,056 就考考你点的是不是我的菜 1924 01:28:32,158 --> 01:28:35,460 两份鞑靼牛肉再加两份鲁库拉沙拉 1925 01:28:35,460 --> 01:28:37,462 起司不要放酱料我们自己搁 1926 01:28:38,865 --> 01:28:39,865 都对 1927 01:28:40,465 --> 01:28:42,267 - 再来两杯红酒 就这样 - 好的 1928 01:28:42,567 --> 01:28:43,567 别走 1929 01:28:43,870 --> 01:28:44,870 还有我呢 1930 01:28:45,238 --> 01:28:45,872 对呀 1931 01:28:45,872 --> 01:28:46,872 还有你 1932 01:28:48,007 --> 01:28:49,142 你想吃什么呀 1933 01:28:49,441 --> 01:28:50,943 那我就还要那 1934 01:28:51,443 --> 01:28:53,212 小牛肉三分熟呗 1935 01:28:54,046 --> 01:28:55,047 别听他的 1936 01:28:55,347 --> 01:28:58,050 给他一份全麦面包不用配黄油 1937 01:28:58,151 --> 01:28:59,451 一份蔬菜沙拉 1938 01:28:59,451 --> 01:29:00,552 沙拉酱不要 1939 01:29:00,820 --> 01:29:02,221 一杯冰水不要冰 1940 01:29:04,056 --> 01:29:05,056 好的 1941 01:29:06,525 --> 01:29:07,260 乖 1942 01:29:07,260 --> 01:29:08,260 听话 1943 01:29:08,995 --> 01:29:09,461 姐姐 1944 01:29:09,461 --> 01:29:10,863 你别怪我狠心 1945 01:29:11,130 --> 01:29:13,132 他现在就只能吃这些 1946 01:29:14,233 --> 01:29:16,035 今天是为我接风 1947 01:29:16,135 --> 01:29:17,937 他高兴就随他的意 1948 01:29:17,937 --> 01:29:20,338 吃两块肉血脂高不到哪去的 1949 01:29:21,240 --> 01:29:22,074 当然 1950 01:29:22,241 --> 01:29:23,341 姐姐是对的 1951 01:29:24,043 --> 01:29:24,877 要不 1952 01:29:24,877 --> 01:29:26,212 我给医生打个电话 1953 01:29:26,212 --> 01:29:28,047 看他同不同意破这个例 1954 01:29:29,115 --> 01:29:30,149 没必要没必要 1955 01:29:30,315 --> 01:29:31,984 老婆疼我我心领了 1956 01:29:32,118 --> 01:29:34,120 你们都是为我好 1957 01:29:34,120 --> 01:29:35,120 你们 1958 01:29:35,387 --> 01:29:36,823 你 1959 01:29:38,356 --> 01:29:40,159 那就这么愉快地决定了 1960 01:29:40,293 --> 01:29:41,928 委屈先生吃菜叶了 1961 01:29:47,867 --> 01:29:49,068 先生有订位吗 1962 01:29:49,202 --> 01:29:49,969 有 1963 01:29:50,169 --> 01:29:51,369 好的 您稍等一下 1964 01:29:52,872 --> 01:29:53,206 可以了 1965 01:29:53,206 --> 01:29:54,207 我带你们过去 1966 01:29:54,273 --> 01:29:55,273 谢谢 1967 01:29:56,309 --> 01:29:57,409 这不会是你吧 1968 01:30:03,015 --> 01:30:04,083 哟 1969 01:30:04,516 --> 01:30:05,383 巧啊 1970 01:30:05,383 --> 01:30:06,383 哥 1971 01:30:07,920 --> 01:30:08,920 建国 1972 01:30:08,955 --> 01:30:10,455 咱真什么都不在乎了吗 1973 01:30:11,790 --> 01:30:12,791 不当焦点 1974 01:30:12,791 --> 01:30:14,026 出门干什么呀 1975 01:30:14,492 --> 01:30:17,096 我真佩服你这舍我其谁的劲儿 1976 01:30:19,764 --> 01:30:20,764 哟 1977 01:30:21,901 --> 01:30:23,501 这怎么还俩笑笑啊 1978 01:30:24,203 --> 01:30:26,205 哪位是真身呐 1979 01:30:27,206 --> 01:30:28,206 哥 1980 01:30:28,807 --> 01:30:30,209 还带这么玩的呢 1981 01:30:32,979 --> 01:30:34,846 见着哥怎么不叫人呢 1982 01:30:37,482 --> 01:30:38,482 哥 1983 01:30:40,418 --> 01:30:42,221 弟呀 听哥一声劝 1984 01:30:43,521 --> 01:30:45,857 这香水可不能论斤喷 1985 01:30:46,458 --> 01:30:47,458 德性 1986 01:30:47,960 --> 01:30:49,828 嫂子还不能论对儿娶呢 1987 01:30:50,395 --> 01:30:52,899 你嫂子刚回来我们俩叙叙旧 1988 01:30:53,299 --> 01:30:55,400 咱哥俩就先别聊了 1989 01:30:57,303 --> 01:30:58,303 嫂子 1990 01:30:58,770 --> 01:31:00,006 听弟一句劝 1991 01:31:00,505 --> 01:31:01,773 两人为伴 1992 01:31:02,208 --> 01:31:03,408 三人成患 1993 01:31:06,511 --> 01:31:07,313 行吧 1994 01:31:07,412 --> 01:31:08,412 你们聊 1995 01:31:10,283 --> 01:31:11,283 我哪桌啊 1996 01:31:11,384 --> 01:31:12,384 这边请 1997 01:31:19,758 --> 01:31:21,360 这是你给的授权啊 1998 01:31:23,095 --> 01:31:24,496 姐 这复制品 1999 01:31:24,529 --> 01:31:25,965 你看着不膈应吗 2000 01:31:26,798 --> 01:31:28,466 我觉得挺好的呀 2001 01:31:29,201 --> 01:31:31,003 我都想拿你换他了呢 2002 01:31:31,037 --> 01:31:33,306 咱别拿这恶心当谈资了行吗 2003 01:31:35,041 --> 01:31:35,840 对了 2004 01:31:35,907 --> 01:31:38,077 你生日送我什么礼物 2005 01:31:38,810 --> 01:31:41,013 我生日应该你送我礼物 2006 01:31:41,913 --> 01:31:45,084 姐回来就是给你的最好生日礼物 2007 01:31:45,952 --> 01:31:47,386 你说了我想说的话 2008 01:31:48,087 --> 01:31:49,188 我就是你呀 2009 01:31:56,195 --> 01:31:58,297 咱俩结婚十周年那天 2010 01:31:59,398 --> 01:32:00,765 特别想你 2011 01:32:01,367 --> 01:32:02,801 想送你一个礼物 2012 01:32:04,003 --> 01:32:05,004 就买了这车 2013 01:32:06,471 --> 01:32:07,974 结果你没回来 2014 01:32:08,374 --> 01:32:09,908 它倒陪了我十年 2015 01:32:12,178 --> 01:32:13,980 现在总算是用上了 2016 01:32:16,182 --> 01:32:18,084 知道什么叫思念吗 2017 01:32:22,487 --> 01:32:24,789 思念就是信天游里唱的 2018 01:32:26,092 --> 01:32:28,893 高山上盖庙还嫌低 2019 01:32:29,494 --> 01:32:32,264 面对面坐着还想你 2020 01:32:35,201 --> 01:32:37,003 知道什么叫挂念吗 2021 01:32:39,405 --> 01:32:41,073 挂念就是害怕 2022 01:32:42,807 --> 01:32:43,975 怕你过不好 2023 01:32:45,077 --> 01:32:46,278 怕你受委屈 2024 01:32:47,146 --> 01:32:48,381 怕你不回来 2025 01:33:15,441 --> 01:33:17,209 没事了 去充电吧 2026 01:33:17,909 --> 01:33:19,178 我跟你姐 2027 01:33:19,245 --> 01:33:21,113 把没度完的蜜月再续上 2028 01:33:21,347 --> 01:33:22,013 好的 2029 01:33:22,013 --> 01:33:23,315 不过我要提醒你 2030 01:33:23,516 --> 01:33:25,418 任何情绪和身体冲动 2031 01:33:25,418 --> 01:33:27,086 都有可能会要了你的命 2032 01:33:27,319 --> 01:33:28,953 放心吧我悠着 2033 01:33:29,155 --> 01:33:30,555 我们都不年轻了 2034 01:33:32,191 --> 01:33:33,325 这么多年没见 2035 01:33:33,492 --> 01:33:35,127 我跟你也不熟了 2036 01:33:35,127 --> 01:33:37,028 我也习惯了一个人睡 2037 01:33:38,130 --> 01:33:39,864 旁边躺一人我真睡不着 2038 01:33:40,266 --> 01:33:41,566 你得给我时间适应 2039 01:33:42,033 --> 01:33:43,935 我也一直一个人睡 2040 01:33:43,935 --> 01:33:45,204 咱们一块适应 2041 01:33:46,305 --> 01:33:48,407 十年你都等了也不差这几天 2042 01:33:48,507 --> 01:33:50,809 再说了你才刚装完支架 2043 01:33:51,110 --> 01:33:53,379 秦奋同志仗是有得打的 2044 01:33:53,446 --> 01:33:54,513 等你彻底康复了 2045 01:33:54,513 --> 01:33:55,847 咱们再同居也不迟 2046 01:33:55,847 --> 01:33:57,849 你先在沙发上凑合几晚吧 2047 01:33:57,882 --> 01:33:58,783 听姐姐的话 2048 01:33:58,817 --> 01:33:59,452 乖 2049 01:33:59,452 --> 01:34:01,120 你别老乖呀乖的 2050 01:34:01,120 --> 01:34:02,120 听着别扭 2051 01:34:03,456 --> 01:34:04,390 我就是你啊 2052 01:34:04,390 --> 01:34:05,390 姐姐 2053 01:34:19,971 --> 01:34:20,971 吃药 2054 01:34:35,387 --> 01:34:36,387 来 2055 01:34:38,990 --> 01:34:40,392 坐下我跟你说点事 2056 01:34:47,166 --> 01:34:49,067 你们俩是一个人 2057 01:34:50,869 --> 01:34:52,171 帮我分析分析 2058 01:34:53,372 --> 01:34:54,973 十年没见了 2059 01:34:55,874 --> 01:34:57,376 她就不想和老公 2060 01:34:58,776 --> 01:34:59,776 腻一腻 2061 01:35:02,780 --> 01:35:04,782 除非她外面有人了 2062 01:35:06,885 --> 01:35:08,086 她外面有人 2063 01:35:08,187 --> 01:35:10,256 那她为什么还要回来 2064 01:35:13,425 --> 01:35:15,227 说明她心里有我 2065 01:35:18,830 --> 01:35:21,467 心里有我又排斥我的身体 2066 01:35:23,067 --> 01:35:26,070 那说明她对我有感情 2067 01:35:26,070 --> 01:35:28,240 可是没爱情 2068 01:35:28,873 --> 01:35:30,342 拿我当大哥了 2069 01:35:32,877 --> 01:35:34,979 那这日子今后怎么过呀 2070 01:35:36,482 --> 01:35:37,483 那这么多年 2071 01:35:37,516 --> 01:35:40,785 你没那种事不也还活得好好的吗 2072 01:35:43,289 --> 01:35:44,490 你诚实地说 2073 01:35:44,956 --> 01:35:47,825 这些年你就没碰过别的人 2074 01:35:57,035 --> 01:35:58,270 这么跟你说吧 2075 01:35:59,771 --> 01:36:00,939 我饿了 2076 01:36:01,940 --> 01:36:03,174 咱们包饺子 2077 01:36:04,142 --> 01:36:06,478 得把冰箱里的肉拿出来化吧 2078 01:36:07,479 --> 01:36:09,147 得把肉剁了吧 2079 01:36:10,148 --> 01:36:11,148 洗菜 2080 01:36:11,417 --> 01:36:12,417 切菜 2081 01:36:12,951 --> 01:36:17,423 和面 醒面 调馅 擀皮 包 2082 01:36:17,922 --> 01:36:18,923 然后煮 2083 01:36:20,158 --> 01:36:23,027 这中间漫长的等待 2084 01:36:23,928 --> 01:36:26,764 再饿着也扛着不吃零嘴 2085 01:36:27,765 --> 01:36:28,765 为什么 2086 01:36:30,236 --> 01:36:33,071 就是等着饺子出锅 2087 01:36:33,771 --> 01:36:37,376 吃那一口顺嘴流油的热饺子 2088 01:36:39,978 --> 01:36:41,179 就怕没扛住 2089 01:36:41,313 --> 01:36:43,081 垫巴了几口不饿了 2090 01:36:43,181 --> 01:36:44,450 辜负了等待 2091 01:36:47,885 --> 01:36:48,886 这就叫 2092 01:36:49,187 --> 01:36:50,187 信念 2093 01:36:52,223 --> 01:36:55,394 这些年我就是靠着信念撑着 2094 01:36:56,395 --> 01:36:57,829 你说我想不想 2095 01:36:58,129 --> 01:36:59,764 孙子才不想 2096 01:37:01,433 --> 01:37:04,503 这些年也不是没有零食的诱惑 2097 01:37:05,236 --> 01:37:07,406 但是我就觉得她会回来 2098 01:37:09,107 --> 01:37:11,876 我怕她回来了我不饿了 2099 01:37:14,045 --> 01:37:16,448 她在你心里就那么不可替代 2100 01:37:17,915 --> 01:37:19,851 我要说她有多好 2101 01:37:20,018 --> 01:37:23,021 你也可以说山外有山天外有天 2102 01:37:25,123 --> 01:37:28,460 我是上辈子欠她这辈子来还的 2103 01:37:30,763 --> 01:37:34,366 人的复杂你们机器人是难以理解的 2104 01:37:37,168 --> 01:37:40,773 我认为姐姐对你不光只有感情 2105 01:37:40,938 --> 01:37:42,240 也是有爱情的 2106 01:37:43,107 --> 01:37:45,778 这些年她浪迹天涯捡垃圾 2107 01:37:46,010 --> 01:37:47,413 理想是丰满了 2108 01:37:48,079 --> 01:37:48,980 但日子 2109 01:37:48,980 --> 01:37:51,149 也是靠心底的你撑下去的 2110 01:37:52,283 --> 01:37:54,453 她知道她不是无家可归 2111 01:37:55,119 --> 01:37:56,220 她也赌 2112 01:37:56,220 --> 01:37:57,423 你不会闪着她 2113 01:37:57,855 --> 01:37:59,425 她是欺负我爱她 2114 01:38:02,561 --> 01:38:05,163 女人的身体是很敏感的 2115 01:38:05,564 --> 01:38:07,131 不要说十年了 2116 01:38:07,366 --> 01:38:08,833 一年没见 2117 01:38:08,833 --> 01:38:10,168 再亲密的恋人 2118 01:38:10,201 --> 01:38:11,936 身体也会陌生的 2119 01:38:13,539 --> 01:38:15,139 她会害羞的 2120 01:38:15,541 --> 01:38:18,444 要给她时间重新接受你 2121 01:38:19,143 --> 01:38:21,547 你这机器人越来越有人格了 2122 01:38:22,414 --> 01:38:23,449 我不就是她 2123 01:38:23,449 --> 01:38:24,982 我们是同一人啊 2124 01:38:28,186 --> 01:38:29,854 那你替她亲我一下 2125 01:38:32,023 --> 01:38:34,426 饺子就快出锅了不许吃零嘴 2126 01:38:34,426 --> 01:38:35,461 睡觉 2127 01:38:38,364 --> 01:38:39,997 你是没授权 2128 01:38:39,997 --> 01:38:41,533 她是成了仙儿了 2129 01:38:42,233 --> 01:38:44,803 都近在眼前远在天边 2130 01:38:46,938 --> 01:38:49,441 我这日子真是应了那句话了 2131 01:38:54,345 --> 01:38:56,147 看上去很美 2132 01:39:11,530 --> 01:39:14,298 我披哪件和这条裙子更搭呀 2133 01:39:15,366 --> 01:39:16,366 差不多 2134 01:39:17,034 --> 01:39:19,137 你的肩是最美的 2135 01:39:19,170 --> 01:39:21,540 还用在黄花梨上盖一桌布吗 2136 01:39:23,341 --> 01:39:25,778 你怎么不试试我给你选的礼服 2137 01:39:25,943 --> 01:39:27,479 生日会很隆重的 2138 01:39:28,079 --> 01:39:31,149 我早就对这种比阔的活动失去兴趣了 2139 01:39:31,349 --> 01:39:32,885 都是借题发挥 2140 01:39:35,186 --> 01:39:36,855 既然你是我的替身 2141 01:39:37,088 --> 01:39:38,289 你替我去吧 2142 01:39:38,891 --> 01:39:40,893 反正我去也是多余的 2143 01:39:42,093 --> 01:39:43,060 别呀 2144 01:39:43,060 --> 01:39:45,531 你是本尊你哪能不去 2145 01:39:45,963 --> 01:39:46,963 来 2146 01:39:47,866 --> 01:39:48,866 穿上这件 2147 01:39:49,233 --> 01:39:50,536 年轻十岁 2148 01:39:50,968 --> 01:39:51,969 嫌我老了 2149 01:39:52,771 --> 01:39:53,938 那有年轻的 2150 01:39:54,372 --> 01:39:55,774 你带她显摆去吧 2151 01:39:56,809 --> 01:39:57,308 叔 2152 01:39:57,308 --> 01:39:58,444 收快递 2153 01:40:20,933 --> 01:40:22,768 你去把那个裁纸刀拿来 2154 01:40:22,967 --> 01:40:23,967 好 2155 01:40:32,076 --> 01:40:34,078 你不是说我过生日送你礼物吗 2156 01:40:34,111 --> 01:40:35,046 小众的 2157 01:40:35,046 --> 01:40:36,280 非常火的一款 2158 01:40:36,782 --> 01:40:38,182 红的是真的给你 2159 01:40:38,282 --> 01:40:39,885 黄的是高仿给她 2160 01:40:39,885 --> 01:40:41,085 一会儿别拿错了 2161 01:40:49,160 --> 01:40:50,829 这是给你们俩的礼物 2162 01:40:51,229 --> 01:40:53,030 咱们一碗水端平 2163 01:40:53,966 --> 01:40:55,166 都是限量版 2164 01:40:55,466 --> 01:40:57,168 就是颜色不一样 2165 01:40:57,836 --> 01:40:59,036 让姐姐先选 2166 01:40:59,203 --> 01:40:59,505 哇 2167 01:40:59,505 --> 01:41:00,505 我也有份 2168 01:41:00,539 --> 01:41:01,339 当然了 2169 01:41:01,339 --> 01:41:02,908 不能厚此薄彼嘛 2170 01:41:03,007 --> 01:41:04,208 别听他的 2171 01:41:04,375 --> 01:41:05,777 他刚才跟我说 2172 01:41:06,043 --> 01:41:07,211 红色是真的 2173 01:41:07,211 --> 01:41:08,914 黄色是高仿 2174 01:41:08,914 --> 01:41:10,549 我不需要这个给我贴金 2175 01:41:11,517 --> 01:41:12,818 两个都归你 2176 01:41:29,300 --> 01:41:30,936 需要这么厚此薄彼吗 2177 01:41:33,104 --> 01:41:34,540 这叫一碗水端平吗 2178 01:41:35,306 --> 01:41:37,341 你也太不把我当人了吧 2179 01:41:37,543 --> 01:41:39,210 有这么偏心的吗 2180 01:41:40,311 --> 01:41:42,146 这俩都是真的 2181 01:41:42,881 --> 01:41:44,115 京东上买的 2182 01:41:44,415 --> 01:41:48,085 我就是想让你姐觉得被重视 2183 01:41:48,085 --> 01:41:49,186 才这么说的 2184 01:41:49,988 --> 01:41:51,188 那也就是骗她喽 2185 01:41:52,290 --> 01:41:55,259 我只是没说你这个也是真的 2186 01:41:55,961 --> 01:41:58,262 你这么两头骗有意思吗 2187 01:41:58,262 --> 01:42:00,298 这不是在意你们吗 2188 01:42:00,398 --> 01:42:02,366 你嘴里还有实话吗 2189 01:42:04,068 --> 01:42:05,771 想听实话是吗 2190 01:42:06,004 --> 01:42:07,005 行 2191 01:42:07,039 --> 01:42:08,172 我实话告诉你 2192 01:42:08,306 --> 01:42:10,374 这心眼儿我肯定是要偏的 2193 01:42:10,842 --> 01:42:11,944 她是真的 2194 01:42:11,944 --> 01:42:12,878 你是假的 2195 01:42:12,911 --> 01:42:15,179 给你假的和你的身份也是配套的 2196 01:42:15,814 --> 01:42:17,749 不是我不把你当人 2197 01:42:17,983 --> 01:42:19,751 是你把自己当人了吧 2198 01:42:19,985 --> 01:42:22,754 这两天你打着你们俩是一个人的旗号 2199 01:42:22,754 --> 01:42:23,421 越俎代庖 2200 01:42:23,421 --> 01:42:24,790 什么事都听你的 2201 01:42:24,990 --> 01:42:26,457 你把她当替身了吧 2202 01:42:26,858 --> 01:42:27,893 我告诉你啊 2203 01:42:28,092 --> 01:42:30,094 这家里只能有一个笑笑 2204 01:42:30,494 --> 01:42:31,964 你不是 2205 01:42:32,196 --> 01:42:33,531 她才是 2206 01:42:36,300 --> 01:42:37,301 你明知道我不是 2207 01:42:37,335 --> 01:42:39,370 那为什么还要留下我 2208 01:42:40,171 --> 01:42:42,506 还不是你们人性中的虚伪和贪婪 2209 01:42:42,808 --> 01:42:44,442 你爱的是年轻的她 2210 01:42:44,442 --> 01:42:45,877 你巴不得我是真的 2211 01:42:45,877 --> 01:42:46,979 她是假的对吧 2212 01:42:48,046 --> 01:42:49,380 你怎么这么鸡贼啊 2213 01:42:58,090 --> 01:42:59,825 太可怕了你 2214 01:43:00,826 --> 01:43:02,393 人类发明了你 2215 01:43:02,995 --> 01:43:05,396 早晚有一天会被你们给毁了 2216 01:43:06,330 --> 01:43:08,399 我承认我们有缺点 2217 01:43:09,333 --> 01:43:11,803 但是我们有情感 2218 01:43:13,170 --> 01:43:16,207 这是你们永远也不具备的人格 2219 01:43:23,115 --> 01:43:24,448 你不用鬼鬼祟祟的 2220 01:43:24,448 --> 01:43:26,150 机器人哪会吃醋啊 2221 01:43:30,187 --> 01:43:31,923 机器人哪会吃醋啊 2222 01:43:32,289 --> 01:43:33,925 那就把我当成是她 2223 01:43:33,925 --> 01:43:34,925 以后不许去了 2224 01:43:37,228 --> 01:43:38,396 我这剩菜呢 2225 01:43:38,496 --> 01:43:39,831 我都给倒了 2226 01:43:40,032 --> 01:43:43,101 你们机器人不知道什么叫累吧 2227 01:43:44,201 --> 01:43:45,201 嗯 2228 01:43:45,403 --> 01:43:46,270 秦奋 2229 01:43:46,270 --> 01:43:47,270 醒醒啊 2230 01:43:47,906 --> 01:43:48,906 不要睡 2231 01:43:53,779 --> 01:43:55,212 怎么确定她不是真人呢 2232 01:43:55,312 --> 01:43:56,312 吹气 2233 01:44:04,089 --> 01:44:05,090 你想什么呢 2234 01:44:06,925 --> 01:44:09,928 我严重怀疑你不是智能人 2235 01:44:13,397 --> 01:44:14,397 笑笑 2236 01:44:15,100 --> 01:44:16,100 你出来 2237 01:44:19,104 --> 01:44:20,104 干什么 2238 01:44:21,472 --> 01:44:23,507 我怀疑你是假的 2239 01:44:31,315 --> 01:44:32,315 吹 2240 01:44:35,553 --> 01:44:36,553 你吹 2241 01:44:42,226 --> 01:44:43,061 怎么回事 2242 01:44:43,061 --> 01:44:44,261 怎么都有气啊 2243 01:44:46,497 --> 01:44:48,466 你们到底谁是真的呀 2244 01:44:51,937 --> 01:44:53,337 实话跟你说吧 2245 01:44:53,337 --> 01:44:54,472 我是真的 2246 01:44:54,472 --> 01:44:55,907 她是假的 2247 01:44:56,208 --> 01:44:59,010 新版升级之后都能吹气了 2248 01:45:00,011 --> 01:45:00,946 等会儿等会儿 2249 01:45:00,946 --> 01:45:02,413 我 2250 01:45:04,850 --> 01:45:06,350 五万乘五万是多少 2251 01:45:06,417 --> 01:45:07,417 二十五万 2252 01:45:08,352 --> 01:45:09,386 二十五 2253 01:45:09,386 --> 01:45:10,386 亿 2254 01:45:12,323 --> 01:45:14,993 从智商上看你是真的 2255 01:45:16,094 --> 01:45:16,795 好 2256 01:45:16,795 --> 01:45:17,294 对 2257 01:45:17,294 --> 01:45:19,965 她是真的我是假的行了吧 2258 01:45:20,198 --> 01:45:21,432 从智商上来看 2259 01:45:21,432 --> 01:45:23,135 你们两个更适合一起过 2260 01:45:23,367 --> 01:45:24,169 我走 2261 01:45:24,335 --> 01:45:25,335 再见 2262 01:45:25,436 --> 01:45:26,436 你别走啊 2263 01:45:27,505 --> 01:45:29,174 我还没问完呢 2264 01:45:31,308 --> 01:45:32,811 让她走 2265 01:45:32,844 --> 01:45:35,080 我没骗你我是真的 2266 01:45:35,080 --> 01:45:36,514 怎么证明你是真的 2267 01:45:39,416 --> 01:45:41,285 我怎么证明我是真的 2268 01:45:47,192 --> 01:45:48,292 除非 2269 01:46:01,772 --> 01:46:02,772 宝强 2270 01:46:03,307 --> 01:46:04,307 热水 2271 01:46:04,508 --> 01:46:05,508 叔 2272 01:46:05,776 --> 01:46:06,776 听您的声儿 2273 01:46:07,078 --> 01:46:08,379 是不是受伤害了 2274 01:46:09,147 --> 01:46:10,081 要不要报警 2275 01:46:10,081 --> 01:46:11,081 没事 2276 01:46:11,515 --> 01:46:12,516 别添乱 2277 01:46:16,121 --> 01:46:17,321 我是真的吧 2278 01:46:18,290 --> 01:46:19,290 真 2279 01:46:21,392 --> 01:46:22,526 太真了 2280 01:46:23,427 --> 01:46:25,529 你也不过来扶我一把 2281 01:46:30,302 --> 01:46:32,237 不是号称老当益壮吗 2282 01:46:32,270 --> 01:46:33,270 让你逞能 2283 01:46:34,338 --> 01:46:36,141 平时不做题 2284 01:46:36,908 --> 01:46:38,342 上来就考试 2285 01:46:39,845 --> 01:46:41,445 能及格就不错了 2286 01:46:50,354 --> 01:46:52,523 慢点没人跟你抢 2287 01:46:52,523 --> 01:46:54,059 别报复性消费 2288 01:46:57,295 --> 01:46:59,297 你和老范合着伙 2289 01:46:59,297 --> 01:47:00,431 玩我呢吧 2290 01:47:00,932 --> 01:47:02,133 谁让你在医院说 2291 01:47:02,133 --> 01:47:02,934 我要回来了 2292 01:47:02,934 --> 01:47:04,368 三个人一起过呀 2293 01:47:05,036 --> 01:47:07,005 我就是想考验考验你 2294 01:47:07,005 --> 01:47:08,839 三个人怎么一起过 2295 01:47:09,840 --> 01:47:11,309 其实你对她挺重视的 2296 01:47:11,343 --> 01:47:12,776 给她真的包 2297 01:47:13,011 --> 01:47:14,880 我是挺开心的 2298 01:47:15,213 --> 01:47:16,982 可是后来你又说 2299 01:47:16,982 --> 01:47:19,017 给我的那个包也是真的 2300 01:47:19,017 --> 01:47:20,784 我的火就上来了 2301 01:47:21,019 --> 01:47:23,821 我跟她是能一碗水端平的吗 2302 01:47:24,122 --> 01:47:25,891 我也是念她救过我一命 2303 01:47:25,891 --> 01:47:27,025 才买了两份 2304 01:47:27,058 --> 01:47:29,027 谁知道她是真的你是假的呢 2305 01:47:29,995 --> 01:47:30,896 不对 2306 01:47:30,896 --> 01:47:32,330 你是真的她是假的 2307 01:47:32,964 --> 01:47:34,366 你都给我弄乱了我跟你 2308 01:47:37,534 --> 01:47:39,337 你是什么时候回来的呀 2309 01:47:40,906 --> 01:47:43,108 一开始来的那个就是你吧 2310 01:47:44,541 --> 01:47:47,478 一开始来的那个确实是智能人 2311 01:47:48,013 --> 01:47:50,181 我是代表环保组织来找老范 2312 01:47:50,181 --> 01:47:51,950 开发环保智能人的 2313 01:47:52,083 --> 01:47:55,053 刚好听到你要升级改造智能人的性格 2314 01:47:55,519 --> 01:47:57,022 然后我就了解了一下 2315 01:47:57,022 --> 01:47:58,555 智能人的基本概念 2316 01:47:58,555 --> 01:48:00,358 能做什么不能做什么 2317 01:48:00,358 --> 01:48:01,960 就把自己给换回来了 2318 01:48:04,229 --> 01:48:05,462 你怎么坐这了 2319 01:48:06,398 --> 01:48:08,266 我说怎么那么像呢 2320 01:48:08,366 --> 01:48:10,168 原来是真人装的 2321 01:48:10,868 --> 01:48:13,271 那也是我演技出色呀 2322 01:48:19,177 --> 01:48:20,778 等了你十年 2323 01:48:21,512 --> 01:48:23,814 你回来不好好跟我过日子 2324 01:48:24,782 --> 01:48:26,483 弄两个你跟我这作妖 2325 01:48:27,085 --> 01:48:29,054 还假扮机器人 2326 01:48:29,054 --> 01:48:30,288 套我的话 2327 01:48:31,789 --> 01:48:33,557 我幸亏对你忠贞不二 2328 01:48:34,059 --> 01:48:35,193 没上你的当 2329 01:48:36,294 --> 01:48:38,296 你在外边没学好啊 2330 01:48:39,431 --> 01:48:42,233 捡十年垃圾都没把自己净化了 2331 01:48:43,934 --> 01:48:45,136 要不要给她找回来 2332 01:48:45,136 --> 01:48:46,338 咱仨接着过 2333 01:48:55,046 --> 01:48:56,046 朱迪 2334 01:48:57,015 --> 01:48:59,351 你知道什么是思念吗 2335 01:49:00,818 --> 01:49:01,952 思念就是 2336 01:49:02,553 --> 01:49:05,023 高山上盖庙还嫌低 2337 01:49:06,124 --> 01:49:08,959 面对面坐着还想你 2338 01:49:10,561 --> 01:49:12,297 你知道什么是挂念吗 2339 01:49:13,530 --> 01:49:15,000 挂念就是害怕 2340 01:49:16,134 --> 01:49:17,235 怕你过不好 2341 01:49:18,036 --> 01:49:19,304 怕你受委屈 2342 01:49:20,938 --> 01:49:22,140 怕你不回来了 2343 01:49:33,018 --> 01:49:36,121 秦奋和笑笑的故事讲完了 2344 01:49:36,321 --> 01:49:38,256 他们一直居住在海南岛 2345 01:49:38,822 --> 01:49:40,891 秦奋说人老了 2346 01:49:40,891 --> 01:49:42,860 得待在暖和的地方 2347 01:49:43,161 --> 01:49:45,430 笑笑也说走遍了世界各地 2348 01:49:45,463 --> 01:49:48,400 还是海南岛让她最有归属感 2349 01:49:49,933 --> 01:49:51,136 据邬桑说 2350 01:49:51,136 --> 01:49:52,536 他俩很恩爱 2351 01:49:52,536 --> 01:49:55,340 笑笑把秦奋照顾得无微不至 2352 01:49:56,107 --> 01:49:58,909 但百依百顺的还是秦老 2353 01:50:00,045 --> 01:50:01,346 经验告诉我们 2354 01:50:01,346 --> 01:50:03,214 人物关系一旦形成 2355 01:50:03,214 --> 01:50:04,149 想改变 2356 01:50:04,182 --> 01:50:05,549 就很难了 2357 01:50:10,055 --> 01:50:11,055 来 2358 01:50:11,389 --> 01:50:12,389 我问你个事 2359 01:50:14,125 --> 01:50:15,293 实话实说 2360 01:50:16,327 --> 01:50:17,895 这些年在外边 2361 01:50:18,430 --> 01:50:20,331 你就没让别人碰过 2362 01:50:22,233 --> 01:50:23,535 肯定有是吗 2363 01:50:24,802 --> 01:50:26,337 我这么跟你说吧 2364 01:50:26,538 --> 01:50:27,838 我饿了 2365 01:50:27,871 --> 01:50:29,039 想吃饺子了 2366 01:50:29,507 --> 01:50:30,241 得把冻肉 2367 01:50:30,241 --> 01:50:31,041 行行行 2368 01:50:31,041 --> 01:50:32,041 别说了 2369 01:50:32,310 --> 01:50:33,445 我也饿了 2370 01:50:34,145 --> 01:50:35,313 咱一起包 2371 01:50:56,134 --> 01:50:58,001 时间过得真快 2372 01:50:58,802 --> 01:51:00,037 从我俩开始拍 2373 01:51:00,037 --> 01:51:02,005 非诚勿扰第一部到现在 2374 01:51:02,474 --> 01:51:03,974 十五年过去了 2375 01:51:05,276 --> 01:51:06,444 剧中人老了 2376 01:51:07,112 --> 01:51:08,480 我们演员也老了 2377 01:51:09,114 --> 01:51:10,148 您是老了 2378 01:51:10,148 --> 01:51:11,316 我是不年轻了 2379 01:51:11,349 --> 01:51:12,349 对对对 2380 01:51:12,883 --> 01:51:14,818 你看着比那时候还显小了 2381 01:51:14,985 --> 01:51:16,787 你讽刺我 2382 01:51:16,954 --> 01:51:18,055 他老欺负我 2383 01:51:20,492 --> 01:51:23,026 2008年非一上映的时候 2384 01:51:23,194 --> 01:51:24,828 你们有的还上学呢吧 2385 01:51:25,796 --> 01:51:27,432 也许是刚开始谈恋爱 2386 01:51:28,199 --> 01:51:30,168 也可能是刚结婚 2387 01:51:31,136 --> 01:51:32,903 两个人手拉着手 2388 01:51:33,003 --> 01:51:35,340 一起进电影院看我俩的故事 2389 01:51:36,840 --> 01:51:38,209 有的走着走着 2390 01:51:39,042 --> 01:51:40,211 就走散了 2391 01:51:40,944 --> 01:51:42,547 有的就走到一起了 2392 01:51:44,549 --> 01:51:46,917 看非一的时候还在谈恋爱的 2393 01:51:47,017 --> 01:51:48,886 到了非二上映的时候 2394 01:51:49,287 --> 01:51:51,489 有不少对儿都结婚了吧 2395 01:51:52,923 --> 01:51:54,225 今天看非三 2396 01:51:56,126 --> 01:51:59,297 当年的大学生可能都为人父母 2397 01:51:59,497 --> 01:52:01,199 孩子都十几岁了吧 2398 01:52:01,932 --> 01:52:03,535 你看好多人都点头呢 2399 01:52:04,302 --> 01:52:06,304 感谢你们这么多年来 2400 01:52:06,304 --> 01:52:07,838 对我们的支持 2401 01:52:07,838 --> 01:52:08,906 和陪伴 2402 01:52:11,476 --> 01:52:13,110 非诚勿扰到三 2403 01:52:13,977 --> 01:52:15,213 就划句号了 2404 01:52:15,913 --> 01:52:17,215 我们不拍四吗 2405 01:52:18,483 --> 01:52:21,319 你让冯导给你找一个年轻的秦奋吧 2406 01:52:21,419 --> 01:52:22,320 不行 2407 01:52:22,353 --> 01:52:24,121 秦奋非你莫属 2408 01:52:24,888 --> 01:52:25,888 这个年纪 2409 01:52:26,324 --> 01:52:28,825 演不了谈情说爱的戏了 2410 01:52:31,128 --> 01:52:32,128 好吧 2411 01:52:33,331 --> 01:52:36,234 那我也要正式跟梁笑笑说再见了 2412 01:52:38,203 --> 01:52:39,537 还真有点舍不得她 2413 01:52:41,506 --> 01:52:43,140 跟角色有感情了 2414 01:52:45,410 --> 01:52:46,410 舒淇 2415 01:52:47,778 --> 01:52:49,380 我替观众问你一句 2416 01:52:50,013 --> 01:52:51,416 你对婚姻怎么看 2417 01:52:52,517 --> 01:52:54,552 我觉得婚姻应该是 2418 01:52:54,552 --> 01:52:55,953 一诺千金 2419 01:52:56,554 --> 01:52:57,554 对 2420 01:52:57,921 --> 01:52:59,022 非诚勿扰 2421 01:52:59,856 --> 01:53:01,226 祝天下有情人 2422 01:53:01,226 --> 01:53:02,427 终成眷属 2423 01:53:02,427 --> 01:53:03,927 祝观众朋友们 2424 01:53:04,127 --> 01:53:06,264 龙年大吉 2425 01:56:49,986 --> 01:56:50,986 笑笑好 2426 01:56:51,489 --> 01:56:52,956 生日快乐啊 2427 01:56:54,024 --> 01:56:55,024 怎么样 2428 01:56:55,158 --> 01:56:57,060 跟两个笑笑过得挺愉快的 2429 01:56:58,428 --> 01:56:59,429 差不多得了啊 2430 01:57:00,063 --> 01:57:01,164 真的回来了 2431 01:57:01,164 --> 01:57:02,432 假的就该收回了 2432 01:57:04,502 --> 01:57:05,870 真的我留下了 2433 01:57:06,136 --> 01:57:08,138 假的我已经让她走了 2434 01:57:10,775 --> 01:57:12,108 我那哥失踪了 2435 01:57:12,108 --> 01:57:13,478 是不是让你们给收回去了 2436 01:57:15,078 --> 01:57:15,913 范总 2437 01:57:15,913 --> 01:57:17,080 不用找了 2438 01:57:17,280 --> 01:57:20,083 他们已经回到2008年了 2439 01:57:21,853 --> 01:57:22,853 我懂了 2440 01:57:23,955 --> 01:57:26,122 他们去重温我们的相遇了 2441 01:57:32,062 --> 01:57:33,396 是梁小姐吧 2442 01:57:34,097 --> 01:57:34,932 嗯 2443 01:57:35,031 --> 01:57:36,031 我是秦奋 2444 01:57:38,335 --> 01:57:39,504 来晚了 对不起 145271

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.