Original subtitles

Randall, that is so surprising.

I was surprised too, Bebe, but it's true.

The French bulldog has been voted the most popular small dog in North America.

I think Cheese would agree with that, wouldn't you, Cheese?

I think she would, Bebe.

And I don't know why she has to dress like me.

In more serious news, Americans continue to miss their morning cup of joe,

thanks to the ongoing global coffee bean shortage.

The lack of caffeine is fueling the collective ire against President Taft,

was caught enjoying an affogato at a private event.

Affogatogate has many citizens wondering if they would have been better off with

Dwayne Johnson as president.

Randall, you've spent a lot of time with then -candidate Johnson on the campaign

trail. He's my best friend, yes.

So where's he been, Babely? I mean, it's been a full year since... the election

and no one has seen Dwayne Johnson.

Official word is he decided to step out of the public eye to focus on family,

businesses, and charities.

Until yesterday, when the elusive Johnson was spotted in a parking lot.

What's your name, champ?

Nico. Nico.

Doing good, Nico? You staying strong?

Yeah. But you're president, though.

Yeah, you and my mom.

My mom says?

Must be hard knowing America doesn't need you.

Okay, let's go meet Dad.

We have to take a quick break. This is Chatterbox with Randall Park. And Bebe

Store. We'll be right back.

Okay, and we're live again at five, everyone.

You about to send a nude?

Don't.

Bebe.

I swear.

Hey, Dwayne.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God.

Oh. So good to see you. Good to see you, yeah.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

It feels like home.

You going to let go?

There we go. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Come on in.

You know, I haven't seen you since we recorded voiceover for that movie,

I want to be a husky.

And one day we will be.

Great film, huh? Yeah. Are you excited about the sequel?

What sequel?

Hey, man, yeah, so what's up with the emergency text?

Um, I just wanted to make sure you're okay. I saw the parking lot video.

Oh, come on, Randall, I'm fine.

Totally fine. Thank you for asking. Are you hungry?

So are these bad boys.

Uh, you know, I actually am, like, really hungry, but I guess we can eat

Yeah, fish first.

So you sure you're good?

Yes, man, I am great. And I am so happy that I'm not running for president

anymore. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to be polished.

I can finally be myself again. I can roll around in my pickup truck.

I can tell my dirty jokes, like the one about the Catholic pig. Did I ever tell

you that one? No.

All right, so a Catholic pig walks into the doctor's office, and...

And the doctor said, you want me to do what? And the pig goes, and

bagpipe.

And then that's when the squirrel walked in.

Then he said, I got to make sure that thing fits.

Can you imagine me saying that on the campaign trail? I can't imagine anyone

saying that ever. I know. That's why the joke is so awesome.

But look, I am good.

And of course, the election was a very public loss.

I've spent a lifetime as a man in the arena, like that great Teddy Roosevelt

quote. Do you know that one?

It's not the critic who counts.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.

And who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so

his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know

victory nor defeat.

Powerful. Great man, great mustache.

Similar to my mustache, right?

Hmm. Randall, I have won and lost in big arenas my entire life.

Plus, I've also grown up with men and women in the arena.

And I can tell you firsthand the ups and downs that come with all of that.

Like when my dad found out he wasn't going to be on the card for WrestleMania

He went to Saudi Arabia to wrestle for the WWF and possibly an additional show

with a promoter that my Uncle Afa had set him up with.

Man, I love Riyadh.

We haven't even wrestled a match yet, and they're treating us like stars.

Hey, I love it too, brother.

Look at this.

We got gold chains sitting out here next to cucumbers.

Habibi, are you Rocky Johnson?

The one and only.

You got a pen? I have a phone call for you.

Hello?

Rocky! Pat Patterson!

Pat?

Hey, how did you, uh... We know, Rock.

No. We know!

Me and Vince know you booked a show over there in Saudi Arabia for some other

promoter. Even though you're under an exclusive contract with us.

You know, I thought I'd fit in a show out here since you guys are busy playing

in WrestleMania.

Hey, it's for two of us.

It is? It is.

Vince wants to open up the Saudi Arabia market too, you know. A lot of money

over there. So you'll lead the way internationally while Vince focuses on

WrestleMania.

ever done a pay -per -view wrestling show before. People gonna watch?

I don't know. What are we, boxing?

Listen, tell Vince I'm gonna wrestle for the WWF out here.

Exclusively for us, yeah? Not for some other promoter.

Of course.

I'm under contract with you and I'm gonna honor that.

That's it.

I'll let Vince know. He'll be happy to hear it. Talk to you soon, Rob. Hey,

thanks, man.

Now I just gotta tail off?

Rocky made good on his promise, though. He wrestled exclusively for the WWF and

opened up Saudi Arabia as a new territory.

And the fans loved him.

There was just one problem.

WrestleMania. It was groundbreaking.

Unlike anything anyone had ever seen.

Shattered records, live attendance, pay -per -view. It was a phenomenon that

would change professional wrestling forever.

Sometimes we think we're on top, but in reality...

The bottom has just dropped out.

Let me tell you something, brother.

Yes, Alpha, like I told you when you called an hour ago, as soon as Rocky

in from his flight, I'll have him give you a ring.

Sorry. I'm just so eager to talk to you.

A trip to Saudi Arabia really bonded you two, huh?

Oh, our relationship will never be the same.

Okay, bye.

You think Dad and Hulk Hogan will ever team up?

Well, I guess you can ask him yourself.

Champs on.

Dad. Hey, dude.

Look at you. Thanks, buddy.

There she is.

I missed you, honey. I missed you too, babe.

Missed both of you.

Also, I picked you up a little road gold. Oh, it is gorgeous, but it looks

expensive. But I took care of my lady.

And my boy.

A Saudi Arabian Mazinga?

Thank you.

Awesome. I'm so glad things went well for you out there.

Me too, babe. Me too.

Actually, I was thinking about that conversation we had before I left. The

about you breaking off from Leah and starting our own promotion business.

Funny. I've been thinking about that a lot too.

Look, the way things went overseas, it seems like I'm on this rocket ship with

the WWF. And who knows what territory they're going to have me open up next.

It made me think that maybe we should hold off starting our own promotion.

You know, don't rock the boat while the seas are smooth.

I'm so relieved to hear you say that. I agree with you.

Really? Yes!

So you like working with Lars Anderson? No!

But...

I had this dream last night.

Sir,

I'll take a mouth.

You need a bowl. No, Mama, mouth.

A bowl.

Yes, I have one.

Here you go, my beautiful daughter.

And this one is for you, too.

And this one.

Here is another.

Mama, why do you have so many? Wait.

Give one back. I'm thirsty.

Thirsty?

Could I bother you for a baby melon neck? I'm parched from delivering

drinks. Of course, on this ape.

And then, Abe and my mom started kissing, and that's when I woke up.

What the hell kind of dream is that?

An informative one.

Baseballs symbolize opportunity.

Watermelons mean vengeance. OK.

And Abraham Lincoln is obviously a metaphor for my father, Peter.

I agree with you.

I'm going to give working with liars and my mom a shot.

Great. That's all you had to say.

That's probably Otha. He's been trying to get a hold of you. No, that can wait.

Pack your bags.

Vince invited all his VIPs to a big party.

In New York City.

The WWF partnered with Cyndi Lauper on her new music video, Good Enough, from

the movie The Goonies, and Vince threw a party to celebrate the video's

premiere. And my dad was ready to celebrate his success in Saudi Arabia.

There are so many famous people here.

That's what other people are saying about us.

Dad, you gotta introduce me to Hulk Hogan.

Except my son, who keeps me grounded.

Wow. Mr. T?

Let me tell you something, Chunk.

You make me laugh.

You make me laugh too, Mr. T.

How so, Chunk?

Hey,

look who it is.

We missed your WrestleMania, Rock. Yeah, sorry I couldn't make it.

Vince needed me in Saudi Arabia, opening up that international territory.

That right.

Hadn't heard about the international thing. It's going to be huge, Lou.

I'll catch up with Vince tonight, talk about which territory I'm going to open

up next.

Maybe Austria.

Wrestle some of them Bond traps.

Is Hulk Hogan here?

Here. What are we?

Chopped liver?

Yeah, we definitely chopped liver.

Come on, Lou. Let's go find him.

Hey, just look for the tan bald spot.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I direct your attention to the stage for WWF Chairman

Vince McMahon.

Thank you all for joining us tonight.

Boy, it's been a special month for the WWF. As you know, because the whole

knows, WrestleMania was a phenomenal success.

And one of the big reasons why is the woman I'm about to introduce.

One of the great talents of our time, Miss Cyndi Lauper.

Well, Hulkster, he got a little nervous walking through the city at night, so I

said I'd escort him.

You mess with me, you get the 11 and a half inch pythons.

Anyway,

I always felt like rock music and wrestling, they belong together.

Like an unstoppable tag team. So I'm proud to introduce what the WWF and I

Good enough!

I'm not sure what this has to do with the Goaties, but the video was great. It

just would have been better if I was there.

This video is the best thing I ever saw. Look how strong my body looks.

Zoom it. I just don't understand what kind of gas station I was running.

Hey, brother. Got a minute?

You're Rocky Johnson's kid, right?

That headband you got on, little man, it's a prototype.

The only one in existence.

I was testing out for wearability before we mass -produced, brother.

So I gotta ask you to do the Hulkster a favor.

You think I can have it back?

Promise I'll send you a new one in a few weeks.

Uh, yeah.

Here, spilt a little cream cheese on it. Duly noted, hokumaniac.

Eat your vitamins.

I will.

Whoa, wait, where's vitamins?

Hey, kid, put your hand out.

That's also one of a kind.

Thanks, Cindy Lauper.

Well, aren't you going to wear it? It's kind of big.

Just keep your hands open.

That's it.

What's your name? Dewey Johnson.

Very cool, Dewey Johnson.

Very cool.

They used my worst tapes.

I disagree.

I was there, and that was as good as you gave them.

Rocky.

Hey, good to see you.

It's all good to see you, brother. How you doing? Doing great, doing great. Can

you do me a favor real quick? Yeah.

Can you get that knife out of my back?

Enjoy yourself.

All right.

I didn't know what knife in the back meant, but I knew it wasn't good.

So Vince was mad.

Yeah, Vince was pissed.

But I thought Pat said he was OK with what happened in Saudi Arabia.

My dad broke his contract with Vince, and that's the bottom line. Now, if

WrestleMania had flopped, then maybe Rocky Johnson in the international

marketplace might have been a priority, but it didn't.

So he wasn't. War conflict can be rough.

You know, my coworker, Bebe, slightly lowered my chair because she thought I

parking too close to her car.

Were you? Yes. There you go. That's what happens when two people enter the

arena, Randall and Bebe. Yeah.

I hate her.

You know that moment at the party I told you about?

That was the beginning of a real rough patch in my dad's career.

And it was also something that I had experienced myself when I first started

wrestling for the WWE.

This is when you were wrestling under the name Rocky Maivia, right? That's

right. Rocky Maivia, Intercontinental Champion, the good guy, the babyface who

fans were supposed to love, but they hated me.

They were booing me in arenas all across the country. They even booed me right

out of WrestleMania 13.

Eventually I realized that they were only doing it because I wasn't being

authentic and I wasn't being real. But in that moment back then, I didn't know

it. That intercontinental belt on my lap meant I was one of the two most

important champions in the company.

But I also felt like the biggest loser in the world.

Sometimes it can be really lonely when you're the man in the arena.

But as treacherous of a place as a wrestling locker room can be, the

the boys, even my most competitive colleagues, that was something I'll

forget. Do you want to wear my mask for a little while?

Like, to the store?

Might cheer you up. I got 36 beers in my locker. Help yourself to all of them. I

drew this for you.

It's that cloud thing. It's a fart.

The fart's pushing you.

Meanwhile, Vince had seen all he needed to see.

You can only push someone on the fans for so long.

Take the belt off the kid.

Okay, boss. So that's exactly what happened. I lost the Intercontinental

Championship to my good buddy, Owen Hart.

As much as that sucked, at least things were better outside the ring.

Danny and I had gotten back together, and soon after that, I moved back in

her. Woo!

That was a good set.

Right? Yeah.

There we go.

Now you can see all the spices you have.

Oh, you're out of onion flake.

Thank you, Mrs. Johnson.

There we go. Now you can remember where you come from every time you walk in.

And here's the bowl for your keys.

Thank you, Grandma.

She was rolling with my family pretty well, and she even made it to some of my

matches.

There was a section reserved for wives and girlfriends, and Danny would come

straight from her job at Merrill Lynch.

It's so nice that you brought your lawyer to the match.

That's my mission.

Unfortunately,

it felt like I was living out in pro wrestling what happened to my dad.

I went from being a champ and wrestling on TV every week to wrestling

sporadically, often not on TV, and always losing.

It was all a little too familiar.

My dad went from wrestling in the WWF to wrestling in used car dealerships in

less than two years. But he was still doing everything he could to earn a

and take care of our family.

And I'll always love him for that.

Why can't we turn on the radio?

Because it drains the battery.

You want me to buy a car without testing the radio? You crazy?

Who are we kidding? You can't afford this car.

You struck my car?

Oh, yeah. Oh, you better get your hands off of me. Come get out of my life. Hey,

hey, look, he's right here. I just want to test the radio. You can't test the

radio.

Hey, glasses, look. He can't breathe.

Here's a bad deal you're going to find. Watch the fight in the ring.

Hell of a show, Dad.

Hey, thank you, dude.

Crowd could have been better, though.

That fight by the old Maverick pulled a lot of focus.

That guy should have let him turn on the radio.

How's he going to buy a car without testing the radio?

It'll probably be the last match of mine you'll see before you head to Miami.

I wish it was memorable for a different reason.

It's going to be hard being so far away from home.

Not as hard as playing big -time D1 football.

I'm ready.

I know you are, son.

Just remember, it's a rare opportunity for an athlete to compete on a stage

big.

It's hard work getting there and it's hard work staying there. But you always

got to give it everything you got.

My dad was giving me advice, but it felt more like a pep talk for himself.

But I took that with me and it helped me during that difficult time in 1997 when

I was doing un -televised WWF house shows.

The tougher things got around me, the harder I worked.

I was going to rise to the challenge and give it everything I got.

Little did I know things were about to get even harder.

That must have been so hard getting injured with everything up in the air

that. Yeah, that was tough. And I had a long and uncertain road ahead of me. But

you've known me long enough now to know that I've dealt with a few failures in

my life.

So, what was harder, going down with that injury or losing the presidential

election? Oh, man. In a life full of ups and downs, those were two real low

points. But that's also part of being the man in the arena. If I fail, at

I fail while bearing greatly.

You know, in the case of running for president, I think I just stepped into

wrong arena.

My place is not in the world of politics, and I'm okay with that.

Come on.

Hold on one second.

Ah, speaking of which, an old buddy.

What's up, Mr. President?

Hi, Dwayne.

How did you know this was me?

Taft? Is that Taft? Yeah, this is President Taft. Oh, man, I'm sorry. I

White House number in my phone, and I'll update it later. Tell him I'm here, but

I don't say hi. Randall's here, and he says hello.

No. All right, Mr. President, so what's up?

There's a national emergency, Dwayne.

The people need you.