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♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪
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♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪
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♪ We wish you... ♪
4
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Hello and Merry Christmas.
5
00:00:16,179 --> 00:00:19,578
I am Dwanta Claus, and during
this time of the year,
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I like to rip the sleeves off my jacket
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and put on a hat with a bell,
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00:00:23,954 --> 00:00:27,085
and I like to reflect back
on family, friends,
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00:00:27,090 --> 00:00:32,157
and what makes this
holiday so very special.
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I love Christmas
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because it's all about the three G's,
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gathering, giving, and
getting loose on eggnog.
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Now of course, when you're a little kid,
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it's most about one thing: the toys.
15
00:00:47,711 --> 00:00:49,041
I've been talking a lot about
16
00:00:49,046 --> 00:00:50,876
all the money troubles we had in Hawaii,
17
00:00:50,881 --> 00:00:53,946
but Christmas 1983 was before all that,
18
00:00:53,951 --> 00:00:56,448
when we were still riding high
and I was about to learn
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00:00:56,453 --> 00:00:58,884
a very valuable lesson in gift-giving.
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What are these cartoon shoes
on your feet?
21
00:01:01,124 --> 00:01:02,354
Nice, right?
22
00:01:02,359 --> 00:01:05,023
They're from the Jane Seymour
for Mervyn's collection.
23
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I can't get over these.
I love them so much.
24
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They're so soft.
25
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Got them as a little Christmas
gift to myself.
26
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Speaking of Christmas gifts...
27
00:01:14,271 --> 00:01:16,401
as much as I love the Radish Baby
28
00:01:16,406 --> 00:01:17,970
that you got me last year...
29
00:01:21,945 --> 00:01:24,009
That doll is not right.
30
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We knew it wasn't exactly
what I asked for,
31
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which is fine.
32
00:01:28,385 --> 00:01:32,417
But this year I made it
very easy for you.
33
00:01:32,422 --> 00:01:34,119
Here's a page from the toy catalogue
34
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where I circled Skeletor,
the action figure I want,
35
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so you know what it looks like.
36
00:01:38,095 --> 00:01:39,691
Why does he have muscles on his body
37
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but not on his face?
38
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Also, I called the store to
make sure that it was in stock,
39
00:01:43,634 --> 00:01:46,264
and they've put it aside
on a 48-hour hold.
40
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Here's a map, just in case.
41
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Okay. Well, thank you, Dewey.
42
00:01:51,274 --> 00:01:53,805
I will make sure to pass all
this info along to Santa.
43
00:01:53,810 --> 00:01:55,707
Sure.
44
00:01:56,813 --> 00:01:59,311
But it's on hold under your name!
45
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You put a lot of thought
into what gift you want.
46
00:02:01,885 --> 00:02:04,583
Yeah, well, just between us,
47
00:02:04,588 --> 00:02:06,685
I kind of hate that Radish Baby.
48
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Don't want another disaster like that.
49
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Wait, where did he go?
50
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I hope you put
in the same amount of thought
51
00:02:17,601 --> 00:02:19,698
into the gift you get for your mom.
52
00:02:19,703 --> 00:02:21,700
What? Adults give gifts to kids,
53
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not the other way around.
54
00:02:22,973 --> 00:02:25,137
I see. So you don't love your mother.
55
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That's not what I'm saying.
56
00:02:26,176 --> 00:02:28,373
Then why do you want
to make her feel unloved?
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I don't.
58
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Good, then you will get her a gift.
59
00:02:32,216 --> 00:02:34,980
I'm glad you see it my way, son.
60
00:02:41,992 --> 00:02:45,757
I'm telling you, we need
to be making our own baby oil.
61
00:02:45,762 --> 00:02:47,193
That way we don't gotta keep buying it.
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Oh, no way, brother.
63
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I do not wanna know how they get oil
64
00:02:51,168 --> 00:02:52,331
out of them babies.
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- Just saying.
- Hey, Dad.
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Dewey, what are you doing here?
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I need some advice.
68
00:02:56,713 --> 00:02:58,603
I don't know what
to get my mom for Christmas.
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00:02:58,608 --> 00:03:00,038
- Join the club.
- Dewey.
70
00:03:00,043 --> 00:03:01,307
You wish to give
the gifts this year, huh?
71
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:02,708
Not just receive them?
72
00:03:02,713 --> 00:03:04,242
You are like a little Père Noel.
73
00:03:04,247 --> 00:03:05,345
I'm going to get you a robe.
74
00:03:05,349 --> 00:03:06,913
You should get her a hot tub, a big one,
75
00:03:06,917 --> 00:03:08,147
you know, one that we can all fit in.
76
00:03:08,151 --> 00:03:10,148
I have a box of costume jewelry
77
00:03:10,153 --> 00:03:12,651
from my great aunt Deb
that I am looking to unload.
78
00:03:12,656 --> 00:03:14,820
No, she does not want any more jewelry.
79
00:03:14,825 --> 00:03:18,457
Last year I got us matching
diamond tennis bracelets.
80
00:03:18,462 --> 00:03:19,526
She said it was irresponsible...
81
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- Pfft.
- Which is crazy.
82
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These are an investment.
83
00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:25,764
Oh, shoot.
84
00:03:25,769 --> 00:03:27,199
Then I guess the hot tub wins.
85
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Oh, make sure it's a big one,
86
00:03:28,304 --> 00:03:29,501
you know, one that we could all fit in.
87
00:03:29,505 --> 00:03:31,236
I don't think I can buy her a hot tub.
88
00:03:31,241 --> 00:03:32,338
Wish I could help you, Dewey,
89
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:34,342
but your mom is very hard to shop for.
90
00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:36,208
There's gotta be something she'd like.
91
00:03:36,213 --> 00:03:38,710
I wish there was
a toy catalogue for adults.
92
00:03:38,715 --> 00:03:41,079
It'd be so much easier
if I could just see a bunch
93
00:03:41,084 --> 00:03:42,581
of gifts and choose one.
94
00:03:42,586 --> 00:03:45,617
Dewey, you just described a mall.
95
00:03:45,622 --> 00:03:48,053
Oh, yeah, a mall.
96
00:03:49,593 --> 00:03:51,290
But the mall was a bust.
97
00:03:51,295 --> 00:03:53,592
I wasn't seeing anything
I liked for my mom.
98
00:03:53,997 --> 00:03:55,861
However...
99
00:03:55,866 --> 00:03:57,262
Oh, candy.
100
00:03:57,267 --> 00:03:59,431
No. Gotta stay focused.
101
00:03:59,436 --> 00:04:00,533
I'm here for Mom.
102
00:04:00,537 --> 00:04:01,867
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
103
00:04:01,872 --> 00:04:04,803
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
104
00:04:06,510 --> 00:04:08,106
Merry Christmas.
105
00:04:08,111 --> 00:04:10,409
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
106
00:04:10,414 --> 00:04:12,677
Well, aren't you a little big
107
00:04:12,682 --> 00:04:14,312
to sit on Santa's lap?
108
00:04:14,317 --> 00:04:16,515
Yeah, I'm not here for me.
109
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:19,017
I need to get a gift for my mom.
110
00:04:19,022 --> 00:04:22,554
Well, uh, what does your mom like?
111
00:04:22,559 --> 00:04:24,055
Me.
112
00:04:24,060 --> 00:04:25,590
Anything else?
113
00:04:28,298 --> 00:04:31,163
♪ Hark! The Herald angels... ♪
114
00:04:31,168 --> 00:04:32,330
I got nothing.
115
00:04:32,335 --> 00:04:35,133
Look, kid, my honest opinion,
116
00:04:35,138 --> 00:04:37,669
it doesn't really matter
what the gift is.
117
00:04:37,674 --> 00:04:40,338
What matters is how
it makes the person feel.
118
00:04:40,343 --> 00:04:42,640
Well, I'm sure your mom's
gonna like anything
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you give her, even if you just
slap googly eyes on a coconut.
120
00:04:49,319 --> 00:04:50,549
Nice.
121
00:04:50,554 --> 00:04:53,585
Might have overdone it
with the glitter paint.
122
00:04:53,590 --> 00:04:55,754
Gonna have to sun dry.
123
00:04:59,863 --> 00:05:01,226
Ah! No!
124
00:05:03,233 --> 00:05:07,237
No!
125
00:05:09,105 --> 00:05:10,769
No, no, no, no, no.
126
00:05:13,343 --> 00:05:14,644
No!
127
00:05:20,083 --> 00:05:21,652
I'm home.
128
00:05:24,387 --> 00:05:25,450
Hi, Mom.
129
00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:27,419
- Were you doing crafts?
- No!
130
00:05:27,424 --> 00:05:30,355
I was just... organizing
the craft supplies.
131
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,757
Someone put a glue stick inside
of the Magic Marker tray.
132
00:05:32,762 --> 00:05:34,192
People are animals.
133
00:05:34,197 --> 00:05:35,260
What a great idea.
134
00:05:35,265 --> 00:05:36,962
Hey, if you're in the mood
for organizing,
135
00:05:36,967 --> 00:05:38,697
the linen closet is a disaster.
136
00:05:38,702 --> 00:05:40,632
Yeah, I'll get on that later.
137
00:05:40,637 --> 00:05:42,500
I have an errand to run for Grandma.
138
00:05:42,505 --> 00:05:43,902
What errand?
139
00:05:45,709 --> 00:05:47,839
Her... her mango shipment was late
140
00:05:47,844 --> 00:05:49,308
so she asked me to go
to the store and get her some.
141
00:05:49,312 --> 00:05:50,508
Okay, bye.
142
00:05:50,513 --> 00:05:52,043
Smooth, right?
143
00:05:52,048 --> 00:05:55,081
So now I had a Christmas
disaster to clean up.
144
00:05:58,555 --> 00:06:02,020
Yes, they're not sold-out.
145
00:06:02,025 --> 00:06:03,822
$15?
146
00:06:03,827 --> 00:06:07,125
What are these made out of,
gold doubloons?
147
00:06:07,130 --> 00:06:08,326
Can I help you?
148
00:06:08,331 --> 00:06:12,530
You look too young to be here,
but too old to be lost.
149
00:06:12,535 --> 00:06:14,499
Um, I need to get these slippers,
150
00:06:14,504 --> 00:06:17,536
but I can't afford them.
151
00:06:17,541 --> 00:06:20,405
Okay, well, come back when you can.
152
00:06:20,410 --> 00:06:21,539
Merry Christmas.
153
00:06:21,544 --> 00:06:22,908
Wait.
154
00:06:22,913 --> 00:06:26,918
What if I gave you...
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00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:31,550
four dollars and...
156
00:06:32,455 --> 00:06:35,120
this wallet?
157
00:06:35,125 --> 00:06:36,821
No, sorry.
158
00:06:36,826 --> 00:06:39,491
Look, Brig-itty.
159
00:06:39,496 --> 00:06:40,558
Brigitte.
160
00:06:40,563 --> 00:06:42,994
- Bresheet.
- No.
161
00:06:42,999 --> 00:06:45,563
I'm a businessman, and
you're a businesswoman.
162
00:06:45,568 --> 00:06:47,899
And as businesspeople, we can both agree
163
00:06:47,904 --> 00:06:51,036
that $15 is way too much
for a pair of slippers.
164
00:06:51,041 --> 00:06:52,772
You're too young
to know how embarrassing
165
00:06:52,776 --> 00:06:55,740
this is for you, but this is a Mervyn's.
166
00:06:55,745 --> 00:06:56,775
We don't haggle.
167
00:06:58,682 --> 00:07:01,218
I was gonna need a Christmas miracle.
168
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:06,264
I failed to get my mom new slippers,
169
00:07:06,269 --> 00:07:08,766
and my frustrations
were at an all-time high.
170
00:07:09,694 --> 00:07:11,358
Hey!
171
00:07:11,363 --> 00:07:15,395
One of your colleagues gave me
some very bad advice earlier.
172
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,564
He said my mom would be
happy with anything,
173
00:07:17,569 --> 00:07:20,400
so I made her a stupid coconut
with googly eyes,
174
00:07:20,405 --> 00:07:23,236
and then I dropped it
on her Jane Seymour slippers.
175
00:07:23,241 --> 00:07:25,171
But I can't replace them
176
00:07:25,176 --> 00:07:27,207
because Mervyn's doesn't haggle.
177
00:07:27,212 --> 00:07:29,209
So now her entire Christmas is ruined,
178
00:07:29,214 --> 00:07:32,479
and she's literally a Christmas angel.
179
00:07:32,484 --> 00:07:36,683
Maybe you should ask Santa
to bring you some slippers.
180
00:07:36,688 --> 00:07:38,418
- Ho, ho, ho.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
181
00:07:38,423 --> 00:07:41,020
Enjoy your orange chicken.
182
00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:42,989
My time had run out.
183
00:07:42,994 --> 00:07:45,658
It was Christmas morning
and I got my Skeletor,
184
00:07:45,663 --> 00:07:48,261
which made me feel even
worse about the slippers.
185
00:07:48,266 --> 00:07:50,130
Back to socks like the rest of us.
186
00:07:50,135 --> 00:07:51,731
What happened to your poodle shoes?
187
00:07:51,736 --> 00:07:52,932
Can't find them.
188
00:07:52,937 --> 00:07:55,368
I'm hoping they're buried
somewhere in the linen closet.
189
00:07:55,373 --> 00:07:57,937
Last gift and it's for you.
190
00:07:57,942 --> 00:07:59,272
But you already gave me my gift,
191
00:07:59,277 --> 00:08:01,775
this, uh, lovely umbrella hat.
192
00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:04,310
So my baby will always have some shade.
193
00:08:04,315 --> 00:08:06,046
- Ah.
- But this one's not from me.
194
00:08:06,051 --> 00:08:07,514
It's from Dewey.
195
00:08:07,519 --> 00:08:08,581
It is?
196
00:08:08,586 --> 00:08:11,584
Oh, Dewey, you didn't have
to get me anything.
197
00:08:11,589 --> 00:08:13,820
That's so sweet.
198
00:08:13,825 --> 00:08:15,488
Aww.
199
00:08:15,493 --> 00:08:16,624
What is it?
200
00:08:16,628 --> 00:08:19,259
It's a little coconut with googly eyes.
201
00:08:19,264 --> 00:08:21,461
Look at his little hat.
202
00:08:21,466 --> 00:08:25,065
Dewey, I love it so much.
203
00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:28,501
God damn, I could've
just been making coconuts.
204
00:08:28,506 --> 00:08:30,470
Okay, let's eat breakfast.
205
00:08:30,475 --> 00:08:33,573
Mr. Coconut gets a special
place on the table.
206
00:08:33,578 --> 00:08:35,614
Good job, Dewey.
207
00:08:53,765 --> 00:08:55,895
The slippers.
208
00:08:59,337 --> 00:09:01,835
Mom, I found your slippers.
209
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,369
- So to this very day...
- Oh!
210
00:09:03,374 --> 00:09:05,839
I don't know if that was
Santa Claus or not,
211
00:09:05,844 --> 00:09:09,342
but I do know that I am
a believer in Christmas magic
212
00:09:09,347 --> 00:09:11,611
and the gift of giving.
213
00:09:11,616 --> 00:09:13,980
Now that Christmas in Hawaii
was the first time
214
00:09:13,985 --> 00:09:17,116
I ever experienced the joy
of giving a gift.
215
00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:18,551
And from then on,
216
00:09:18,556 --> 00:09:22,561
I was absolutely obsessed with it.
217
00:09:23,595 --> 00:09:26,125
The coconut with googly eyes
became a tradition
218
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,594
for me and my mom.
219
00:09:27,599 --> 00:09:29,362
I still make her one every year.
220
00:09:29,367 --> 00:09:31,731
Hey, can that one be from both of us?
221
00:09:31,736 --> 00:09:33,366
I have no idea what to get her.
222
00:09:33,371 --> 00:09:36,436
Sorry, Dad. These coconuts are all mine.
223
00:09:36,441 --> 00:09:38,672
Dewey, I need you to come
to work with me today.
224
00:09:38,677 --> 00:09:39,677
Why?
225
00:09:39,682 --> 00:09:41,775
My client Suzanne is hosting
a big Christmas party tonight.
226
00:09:41,779 --> 00:09:43,709
I need extra help with,
you know, cleaning,
227
00:09:43,714 --> 00:09:44,945
getting everything set up for her.
228
00:09:44,949 --> 00:09:47,246
Hey, at least you don't have
to go to the party.
229
00:09:47,251 --> 00:09:48,781
Probably boring as hell.
230
00:09:48,786 --> 00:09:50,783
Don't include me in your conversation.
231
00:09:50,788 --> 00:09:52,852
No, I don't ski.
232
00:09:52,857 --> 00:09:54,850
We're going to the party
as well, you too.
233
00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:55,954
I love how you just assume
234
00:09:55,959 --> 00:09:57,191
that I have nothing to do all day
235
00:09:57,195 --> 00:09:59,559
and free to come to work
with you and go to a party.
236
00:09:59,564 --> 00:10:02,328
Do you have something to do today?
237
00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:03,563
No.
238
00:10:07,001 --> 00:10:08,501
Bathrooms are all cleaned and stocked
239
00:10:08,506 --> 00:10:09,903
with Christmas tree hand soaps.
240
00:10:09,907 --> 00:10:12,138
Which I'm pretty sure
permanently stained my hands.
241
00:10:12,143 --> 00:10:13,907
Oh.
242
00:10:13,912 --> 00:10:15,341
How's everything going?
243
00:10:15,346 --> 00:10:17,844
- We're all done.
- Oh, good.
244
00:10:17,849 --> 00:10:19,112
Well, before you go,
245
00:10:19,117 --> 00:10:20,848
I just wanted to give
you a little something.
246
00:10:20,852 --> 00:10:22,549
Damn, that's not a little anything.
247
00:10:22,554 --> 00:10:24,384
Oh, you didn't have to give us a gift.
248
00:10:24,389 --> 00:10:26,352
I just wanted to thank you
for all your hard work
249
00:10:26,357 --> 00:10:27,453
this year.
250
00:10:27,458 --> 00:10:28,693
Go ahead. Open it.
251
00:10:34,332 --> 00:10:38,398
Oh! Oh, wow, an ice cream maker.
252
00:10:38,403 --> 00:10:40,466
Oh, this is so nice. Thank you so much.
253
00:10:40,471 --> 00:10:41,935
Yeah, thanks.
254
00:10:41,940 --> 00:10:44,571
We got you something too,
uh, just left it at home.
255
00:10:44,576 --> 00:10:46,139
- We'll bring it to the party.
- Mm-hmm.
256
00:10:46,144 --> 00:10:48,070
Aw, you got me a present?
257
00:10:48,075 --> 00:10:49,075
That is so sweet.
258
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:50,443
I love presents.
259
00:10:50,448 --> 00:10:51,683
See you tonight?
260
00:10:53,585 --> 00:10:55,481
We didn't get her a present.
261
00:10:55,486 --> 00:10:57,584
We'll figure something out.
262
00:10:57,989 --> 00:11:00,720
That started my next lesson
in gift-giving.
263
00:11:00,725 --> 00:11:02,789
As a teenager, I thought
it was pretty simple.
264
00:11:02,794 --> 00:11:04,724
You get a gift, and you give a gift.
265
00:11:04,729 --> 00:11:07,026
But it's not always that cut and dry.
266
00:11:07,031 --> 00:11:09,529
He's unable to get up now. A nice...
267
00:11:09,534 --> 00:11:10,534
Rocky, get up.
268
00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:12,199
We need to go to the mall
and get Suzanne a gift.
269
00:11:12,203 --> 00:11:13,566
A gift?
270
00:11:13,571 --> 00:11:15,835
But she's your boss. You don't gift up.
271
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,570
Did I ever get a gift for Vince?
272
00:11:17,575 --> 00:11:18,871
You never got a gift for Vince?
273
00:11:18,876 --> 00:11:22,441
The man owns a T.rex skull.
The hell can I buy him?
274
00:11:22,446 --> 00:11:23,577
Dewey promised Suzanne a gift,
275
00:11:23,581 --> 00:11:24,910
so now we have to get her a gift,
276
00:11:24,915 --> 00:11:26,213
and it needs to be something as nice
277
00:11:26,217 --> 00:11:28,047
as this beautiful ice cream maker.
278
00:11:29,687 --> 00:11:31,551
Come on. The party's in a couple hours.
279
00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:39,331
Okay, we need a nice gift
that costs almost nothing.
280
00:11:40,764 --> 00:11:43,095
Our prayers have been answered.
281
00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:45,931
You wanna enter
a radio contest for an ATV?
282
00:11:45,936 --> 00:11:47,900
It's free, ain't it?
283
00:11:47,905 --> 00:11:49,567
I say we just go to Le Chic Boutique
284
00:11:49,572 --> 00:11:51,303
and buy the least expensive
thing we can find.
285
00:11:51,307 --> 00:11:53,039
We can get the store to wrap it
so it looks fancy.
286
00:11:53,043 --> 00:11:54,274
- Sounds like a plan.
- Come on, Rocky.
287
00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:56,308
And go!
288
00:11:56,313 --> 00:11:57,877
Rocky.
289
00:11:58,782 --> 00:12:00,679
Oh, trust me. I can win this thing.
290
00:12:00,684 --> 00:12:03,682
We'll see you at home.
291
00:12:03,687 --> 00:12:04,983
Fans of wrestling, anyone?
292
00:12:04,988 --> 00:12:06,518
Eh, mm.
293
00:12:08,959 --> 00:12:12,624
Ooh, so graceful.
294
00:12:12,629 --> 00:12:14,593
$300?
295
00:12:14,598 --> 00:12:15,961
What, does it grant wishes?
296
00:12:15,966 --> 00:12:17,566
This is the cheapest thing I could find.
297
00:12:19,236 --> 00:12:21,433
"You wash... I'll die".
298
00:12:21,438 --> 00:12:23,135
Instead of "I'll dry".
299
00:12:23,140 --> 00:12:25,004
This is no use.
300
00:12:25,009 --> 00:12:27,506
Everything in here is too expensive.
301
00:12:27,511 --> 00:12:29,041
You know, I could...
302
00:12:29,046 --> 00:12:30,142
What?
303
00:12:30,147 --> 00:12:32,312
I could get us
something without paying for it.
304
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:34,346
How? Do you have a coupon?
305
00:12:34,351 --> 00:12:37,182
No. I mean...
306
00:12:37,187 --> 00:12:39,718
Stealing?
307
00:12:39,723 --> 00:12:40,953
At Christmastime?
308
00:12:40,958 --> 00:12:43,051
Certainly not anymore.
309
00:12:43,056 --> 00:12:45,054
Should probably pay for this.
They're definitely gonna think
310
00:12:45,058 --> 00:12:46,058
we stole something.
311
00:12:47,731 --> 00:12:49,828
Well, at least it's cheap.
312
00:12:51,035 --> 00:12:52,531
- What?
- I know what her gift can be.
313
00:12:52,536 --> 00:12:54,833
We can make ice cream for Suzanne.
314
00:12:54,838 --> 00:12:56,335
There's no better feeling than knowing
315
00:12:56,339 --> 00:12:58,705
that someone really appreciates
the gift you give them, right?
316
00:12:58,709 --> 00:13:00,372
That's what that gasp was for?
317
00:13:00,377 --> 00:13:02,508
I thought you saw a rat.
318
00:13:02,513 --> 00:13:04,743
There's so many parts to assemble.
319
00:13:04,748 --> 00:13:07,946
First it says we need the driver ring?
320
00:13:09,086 --> 00:13:11,184
- Wait, this is open?
- Yeah.
321
00:13:11,688 --> 00:13:12,985
And what's this on the manual?
322
00:13:12,990 --> 00:13:15,287
Is this red wine?
323
00:13:15,292 --> 00:13:16,955
Suzanne must have used this.
324
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,323
This is a regift?
325
00:13:18,328 --> 00:13:19,825
She didn't put any thought into this.
326
00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:22,361
But all she did was wrap up
something she didn't want.
327
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:25,230
That's not even a gift.
That's decorated trash.
328
00:13:27,304 --> 00:13:30,069
And that's exactly what
we're gonna give her.
329
00:13:30,074 --> 00:13:31,603
Two contestants left.
330
00:13:31,608 --> 00:13:34,406
- Who's gonna win?
- Aw, you gotta tinkle winkle?
331
00:13:34,411 --> 00:13:35,974
There's a bathroom right over there.
332
00:13:38,449 --> 00:13:39,479
- Whoa!
- Ah.
333
00:13:39,483 --> 00:13:40,913
Rocky Johnson!
334
00:13:40,918 --> 00:13:43,115
- Can I get your autograph?
- Hell yeah.
335
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,249
We have a winner!
336
00:13:46,790 --> 00:13:48,720
Aw, man!
337
00:13:48,725 --> 00:13:50,956
Price of fame.
338
00:13:50,961 --> 00:13:52,891
Come on.
339
00:13:55,599 --> 00:13:57,262
- Hi!
- You made it.
340
00:13:57,267 --> 00:13:58,330
We did.
341
00:13:58,335 --> 00:13:59,731
- Merry Christmas.
- Oh.
342
00:13:59,736 --> 00:14:01,934
You didn't have to get me anything.
343
00:14:01,939 --> 00:14:03,602
Oh.
344
00:14:03,607 --> 00:14:05,671
Oh.
345
00:14:05,676 --> 00:14:09,207
Uh... I don't wash dishes.
346
00:14:09,212 --> 00:14:11,276
Well, maybe you could spill
some red wine on it
347
00:14:11,281 --> 00:14:12,401
and give it to someone else.
348
00:14:13,617 --> 00:14:15,147
Oh.
349
00:14:15,152 --> 00:14:17,483
Thank you. Come in, come in.
350
00:14:17,488 --> 00:14:19,618
- Is your husband coming?
- Oh, he had to work late.
351
00:14:19,623 --> 00:14:21,687
Oh.
352
00:14:21,692 --> 00:14:23,822
I never forgot that negative experience
353
00:14:23,827 --> 00:14:26,058
with my mom's rich boss.
354
00:14:26,063 --> 00:14:27,793
So when I got to the point in my life
355
00:14:27,798 --> 00:14:31,029
where I had a little more
than 7 bucks in my pocket,
356
00:14:31,034 --> 00:14:34,700
I wanted to share it and try
to give people the best gifts
357
00:14:34,705 --> 00:14:36,240
they ever got.
358
00:14:37,074 --> 00:14:38,804
Like I remember this one Christmas
359
00:14:38,809 --> 00:14:40,839
at Mick Foley's house.
360
00:14:40,844 --> 00:14:43,642
Now there's one thing
you should know about Mick.
361
00:14:43,647 --> 00:14:45,177
He loves Christmas.
362
00:14:45,182 --> 00:14:47,146
God, I love Christmas.
363
00:14:47,151 --> 00:14:49,715
Every year he would host
a Christmas party for the guys
364
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,017
and we would all do our Secret Santa.
365
00:14:52,022 --> 00:14:55,220
All right, time for Secret Santa.
366
00:14:55,225 --> 00:14:57,155
Dwayne, since this is your first time
367
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,958
at my Christmas soirée,
you get to open first.
368
00:14:59,963 --> 00:15:01,460
- Welcome, brother.
- Thanks, Mick.
369
00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:03,595
Oh, it's not from me.
It's from your Secret Santa.
370
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:04,830
Oh, okay.
371
00:15:06,970 --> 00:15:09,802
Oh, wow. Nice.
372
00:15:09,807 --> 00:15:11,803
My dad used to have one just like it.
373
00:15:11,808 --> 00:15:13,405
- Who was this from?
- Me.
374
00:15:13,410 --> 00:15:15,874
I almost got it engraved
to say "Never shuts up"...
375
00:15:15,879 --> 00:15:17,776
But it's Christmas.
376
00:15:17,781 --> 00:15:18,878
Thank you.
377
00:15:18,882 --> 00:15:21,346
This one's for...
378
00:15:21,351 --> 00:15:23,849
Me.
379
00:15:23,854 --> 00:15:26,218
When I drew Mick's name
for Secret Santa,
380
00:15:26,223 --> 00:15:27,753
I knew I had to go all-out,
381
00:15:27,758 --> 00:15:29,888
so I got him an incredible gift.
382
00:15:29,893 --> 00:15:33,158
Wow. This is...
383
00:15:33,163 --> 00:15:34,593
What am I looking at here?
384
00:15:34,598 --> 00:15:36,828
Well, the coconut is a family tradition.
385
00:15:36,833 --> 00:15:38,697
I make one for my mom every year.
386
00:15:38,702 --> 00:15:40,899
It used to be he was the only gift,
387
00:15:40,904 --> 00:15:43,735
but now he brings other gifts with him.
388
00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:44,903
And he's brought you
389
00:15:44,908 --> 00:15:47,305
an all-inclusive first-class trip
390
00:15:47,310 --> 00:15:48,340
to the Bahamas.
391
00:15:48,345 --> 00:15:50,108
You and your family leave tomorrow
392
00:15:50,113 --> 00:15:51,411
for the weekend.
393
00:15:51,415 --> 00:15:53,345
Merry Christmas!
394
00:15:53,350 --> 00:15:55,881
Or at least I thought
it was an incredible gift.
395
00:15:55,886 --> 00:15:58,083
Turns out I had another lesson to learn.
396
00:15:58,088 --> 00:16:01,091
Wow, that's very generous. Thank you.
397
00:16:03,293 --> 00:16:05,123
All right, who's next?
398
00:16:05,128 --> 00:16:07,598
Not quite the reaction I was expecting.
399
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,360
Hey, do you guys think it was weird,
400
00:16:10,365 --> 00:16:12,295
Mick's reaction to my gift?
401
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:13,797
It seemed like he didn't like it.
402
00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:15,795
I mean, he said thank you.
403
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,330
What more could you ask for, right?
404
00:16:20,839 --> 00:16:22,702
- Ho, ho, ho, ho!
- Hey, Santa.
405
00:16:22,707 --> 00:16:25,038
Hey. Excited for your trip?
406
00:16:25,043 --> 00:16:28,008
This time tomorrow,
you'll be sitting by the pool.
407
00:16:28,013 --> 00:16:30,111
Actually, this time tomorrow
you'll be on your layover
408
00:16:30,115 --> 00:16:32,512
in Charlotte, but it's a nice airport.
409
00:16:32,517 --> 00:16:34,514
Yeah, um, listen, man.
410
00:16:34,519 --> 00:16:36,082
I'm sorry, but I can't go.
411
00:16:36,087 --> 00:16:38,818
It's just I've a thing
tomorrow I can't miss.
412
00:16:38,823 --> 00:16:41,321
- But I love the coconut.
- Oh, my bad.
413
00:16:41,326 --> 00:16:44,491
I, uh... I thought since we had
the next few days off work
414
00:16:44,496 --> 00:16:47,227
you'd be okay to travel on the weekend.
415
00:16:47,232 --> 00:16:49,496
Wish I could, but hey, why don't you go?
416
00:16:49,501 --> 00:16:52,065
Have some fun in the sun?
417
00:16:52,070 --> 00:16:54,735
I felt like I had ruined
Christmas for Mick.
418
00:16:54,740 --> 00:16:57,337
A bad gift is worse than no gift at all,
419
00:16:57,342 --> 00:17:00,807
so I was determined
to get him something better.
420
00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:03,376
Hey, it turns out
Mick can't make the trip.
421
00:17:03,381 --> 00:17:05,779
So how 'bout you trade me
your Secret Santa gift,
422
00:17:05,784 --> 00:17:07,848
I'll give it to Mick, and
you can go to the Bahamas.
423
00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:09,583
Ah, I don't know, man.
424
00:17:09,588 --> 00:17:11,050
You know, I'm just not a huge fan
425
00:17:11,055 --> 00:17:12,452
of flying over water.
426
00:17:12,457 --> 00:17:14,487
♪ Tra-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la ♪
427
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,923
♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪
428
00:17:16,928 --> 00:17:18,758
Hey, Undertaker,
429
00:17:18,763 --> 00:17:21,161
- wanna trade me that...
- No.
430
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:22,495
Hey, big head.
431
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,631
- Triple H.
- I'll trade you.
432
00:17:24,636 --> 00:17:26,199
I'm not a robe guy.
433
00:17:26,204 --> 00:17:28,802
Thanks to my father who could
never find the belt for his.
434
00:17:28,807 --> 00:17:30,303
Okay.
435
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:34,274
Hey, Mick.
436
00:17:34,279 --> 00:17:35,909
Merry Christmas.
437
00:17:35,914 --> 00:17:37,711
Is this for me?
You already got me a gift.
438
00:17:37,716 --> 00:17:39,045
Yeah, but I traded it.
439
00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:40,380
I'm sorry, man.
440
00:17:40,385 --> 00:17:42,449
I know how much you love Christmas,
441
00:17:42,454 --> 00:17:44,284
and I ruined your Secret Santa.
442
00:17:44,289 --> 00:17:47,520
I just wanted to get
you something great.
443
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:50,090
Hey, come with me.
I wanna show you something.
444
00:17:50,095 --> 00:17:51,157
Okay.
445
00:17:51,162 --> 00:17:54,294
You know how in matches
I fall onto thumbtacks?
446
00:17:54,299 --> 00:17:55,395
Of course.
447
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,097
You're the most hardcore
out of all of us.
448
00:17:57,102 --> 00:17:59,833
Well, this is every tack
449
00:17:59,838 --> 00:18:02,202
I've ever pulled out
of my back after a match,
450
00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:05,872
fused together to form
a life-sized Tori Amos.
451
00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:08,375
Wow, I got a lot of questions
about this.
452
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,544
I had it made as a reminder
of how far I'm willing to go
453
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,145
to give a good show.
454
00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:14,514
And as a reminder
of how much I love Tori Amos.
455
00:18:14,519 --> 00:18:15,849
Has Tori seen this?
456
00:18:15,854 --> 00:18:17,180
And if so, is she flattered
457
00:18:17,185 --> 00:18:19,085
or is this a restraining
order situation?
458
00:18:19,090 --> 00:18:21,521
I love that feeling, man,
459
00:18:21,526 --> 00:18:24,524
knowing that you gave it
absolutely everything you had
460
00:18:24,529 --> 00:18:26,960
and hearing how the crowd loves it.
461
00:18:26,965 --> 00:18:29,162
Giving is what makes me the happiest.
462
00:18:29,167 --> 00:18:30,897
I don't even like receiving gifts.
463
00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:33,133
Oh, I get that. I mean,
I'm only wearing this
464
00:18:33,138 --> 00:18:35,235
because I don't wanna hurt
Stone Cold's feelings.
465
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:36,803
Yeah, giving gifts to adults
466
00:18:36,808 --> 00:18:38,905
who can buy whatever
they want, it's no fun.
467
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:40,673
You're just swapping stuff.
468
00:18:40,678 --> 00:18:44,177
That's why I drop toys off at
this youth center every year.
469
00:18:44,182 --> 00:18:46,613
That's a real Christmas gift,
470
00:18:46,618 --> 00:18:48,248
donating your time and resources
471
00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:50,817
to help people less fortunate.
472
00:18:50,822 --> 00:18:52,552
I love putting on a show for those kids,
473
00:18:52,557 --> 00:18:54,587
seeing their faces light up.
474
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:57,057
And I thought André the Giant
was Christmas personified.
475
00:18:57,062 --> 00:18:59,327
- Oh, ho, ho.
- You give him a run for his money.
476
00:18:59,332 --> 00:19:00,462
Wow.
477
00:19:00,467 --> 00:19:02,964
But you know what?
That toy drive sounds awesome.
478
00:19:02,969 --> 00:19:04,166
I'd love to come with.
479
00:19:04,171 --> 00:19:06,835
I'd love your help with it,
but you can't come.
480
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,469
Heels can't do charity events for kids.
481
00:19:09,474 --> 00:19:11,304
Good guys only.
482
00:19:11,309 --> 00:19:12,939
Right.
483
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:15,175
But do you know what would
make for a good show?
484
00:19:15,180 --> 00:19:16,210
Huh?
485
00:19:16,214 --> 00:19:19,145
You kids must've been
real good this year
486
00:19:19,150 --> 00:19:22,081
'cause the big guy sent
lots of presents!
487
00:19:22,086 --> 00:19:23,550
Yay!
488
00:19:23,555 --> 00:19:25,885
There was one heel
that could be at the event.
489
00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:27,754
Well, well, well.
490
00:19:29,060 --> 00:19:30,623
What do we have here?
491
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,225
The ultimate heel.
492
00:19:32,230 --> 00:19:34,461
Oh, no! It's the Grinch!
493
00:19:37,502 --> 00:19:39,299
You better get out of here, Grinch,
494
00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:41,801
before Stone Cold sticks his mistletoe
495
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,303
right up your chimney.
496
00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:46,306
I'm stealing all the toys I can find
497
00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:50,743
and giving the People's Elbow
to every Santa I see.
498
00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:55,448
The only thing you're getting, Grinch,
499
00:19:55,453 --> 00:19:56,783
is a whuppin'!
500
00:19:56,788 --> 00:19:58,418
Yeah?
501
00:20:01,059 --> 00:20:02,922
♪ Lots of mistletoe ♪
502
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:06,259
- ♪ Lots of snow and ice ♪
- Ooh!
503
00:20:06,264 --> 00:20:08,394
- Ah!
- ♪ Everywhere we go ♪
504
00:20:08,399 --> 00:20:09,496
Merry Christmas, Mick.
505
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,364
Back at you, buddy.
506
00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:15,468
And so it turns out the best gift advice
507
00:20:15,473 --> 00:20:18,271
I ever got was from that mall Santa
508
00:20:18,276 --> 00:20:21,174
all those years ago in Hawaii.
509
00:20:21,179 --> 00:20:23,343
It's not about what the gift is.
510
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:26,079
It's about how it makes the person feel.
511
00:20:26,084 --> 00:20:27,981
Whether they're a fancy gift,
512
00:20:27,986 --> 00:20:29,249
or a homemade gift,
513
00:20:29,254 --> 00:20:31,284
or even just a simple gesture,
514
00:20:31,289 --> 00:20:34,654
gifts are my love language.
515
00:20:36,828 --> 00:20:38,291
This one's a pepper mill
516
00:20:38,296 --> 00:20:40,860
for my good friend, Stanley Tucci.
517
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,333
Merry Christmas, Tooch.
518
00:20:44,602 --> 00:20:48,401
Well, I really
enjoyed spending this time
519
00:20:48,406 --> 00:20:49,669
with you all.
520
00:20:49,674 --> 00:20:51,671
And don't forget on Christmas Eve
521
00:20:51,676 --> 00:20:54,641
to leave out some tequila,
some sandwiches,
522
00:20:54,646 --> 00:20:57,944
and some cookies for
old Dwanta Claus here.
523
00:20:57,949 --> 00:21:00,914
But hold the sandwiches,
and hold the cookies.
524
00:21:00,919 --> 00:21:02,115
That's right.
525
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:04,284
Dwanta's gettin' loaded.
526
00:21:04,289 --> 00:21:06,252
Good night, everyone.
527
00:21:06,257 --> 00:21:09,689
Merry Christmas, Mele Kalikimaka,
528
00:21:09,694 --> 00:21:13,899
and happy holidays to you
and your families.
529
00:21:17,107 --> 00:21:18,797
And for all the little kids out there
530
00:21:18,802 --> 00:21:20,099
that wanna get their parents
531
00:21:20,104 --> 00:21:23,770
the perfect gift, don't worry.
532
00:21:23,775 --> 00:21:25,811
They'll love it no matter what.
533
00:21:25,815 --> 00:21:33,315
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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