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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,599 Instrumental 2 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:13,439 I'm pushing the envelope, 3 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:16,359 but everything I write's a joke, 4 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,760 a literary trope. 5 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,320 Ma pants! 6 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:35,800 Whit are you daein' there!? 7 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,800 I get feart during the night sometimes. 8 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:39,319 You got them? 9 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,400 - Got whit? - Ma pants. 10 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,480 Whit the bloody hell would I have your pa... 11 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,079 No' this again. 12 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:56,840 [Yip Man - A Lesson Learned) 13 00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:01,799 - Happy Birthday to you, happy... - No, no, more emphasis on the 'you', please. 14 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:02,559 Sorry? 15 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:03,440 - 'You'. - Me? 16 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:05,400 - No, 'you'. - Me? 17 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,919 Are we really doing this? I'm talking about the part of the song, 18 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,919 'Happy birthday to you', okay? 19 00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:13,639 Really hit that, really give it the body of your being. 20 00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:18,719 For God's sake Berry, it's 'Happy Birthday'! Plus, there's going to be plenty of other people singing it with me. 21 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:22,400 Yeah but they need you to lead them. The song sets the tone for the entire evening. 22 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:27,359 - Planning your own surprise party, narcissistic! - Narcissistic? Narcissistic!? 23 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:33,559 By taking control of the situation, I negate the risk of any calamity that could arise through other people planning it for me. 24 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:37,799 But by planning your own surprise party, surely that negates the surprise? 25 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:41,759 Bothersome details. Let's try this again shall we? One, two, three... 26 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:43,800 Happy Birthday to... 27 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,120 You. 28 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,079 How are ye even meant to do the long ones!? 29 00:02:51,080 --> 00:03:11,160 Instrumental 30 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,040 ARGH!!! 31 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,080 Lookin' good! 32 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,359 - You no' getting ready? - Naa. It's only half two, man. 33 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,159 Hmm, fair point. 34 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,400 - Wee scran before we go out? - Aye! 35 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,000 Whit we got? 36 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:32,120 Beans in there. Couple of pies anawl. 37 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:34,480 Pie 'n beans? 38 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:36,480 Aye. 39 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:38,480 Livin' the dream. 40 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,520 Livin' the dream. 41 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:45,960 Eh, left a bit. Bring your side down a bit Lucy. Up a bit, Sapphire. 42 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,999 Aw, that's it! Perfect. 43 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:53,080 I still don't understand why you're here. This is supposed to be your surprise party. 44 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,320 Sapphire... 45 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:59,799 To negate the risk of any calamity that may arise from others organising it. 46 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:04,639 Well remembered. Someone's got to make sure this party's planned properly. Why not let that person be me? 47 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:09,239 Well, you better pretend to be surprised. I hope your acting is better than your party planning. 48 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,480 Three years of drama training won't fail me. 49 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:12,639 Where did you study? 50 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:14,040 The streets. 51 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:19,439 Well, I can't wait for tonight. I can't remember the last time I had a night out. 52 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,200 We went out on Thursday! 53 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:23,480 Aw yeah! 54 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:30,079 - Ohh, whit you got on? - Lynx Africa! 55 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:33,599 Oh aye, out to impress somebody tonight? I wonder who that could be, eh? 56 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:37,119 - No' looking too bad yersel Georgie boy! - Oh aye, I'm all about the yellow. 57 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,319 Man O/S: Cuttla swingers man! 58 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,640 For God's sake! I'm trying tae have a quiet pint here. 59 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,319 I cannae even walk down the street without somebody shouting that at me. 60 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,800 I know. I even got it in the chemist's the other day. 61 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:47,680 Whit were ye getting? 62 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:49,080 Anusol. 63 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,120 Yer asking for it there then Steve. 64 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:55,680 We're known faces now. On the radar. Every move being analysed. 65 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,560 It's like we're on Love Island. 66 00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,160 How? 67 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,680 Every move being analysed. 68 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,520 And we share a bed sometimes. 69 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,480 Aw here... 70 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,000 I've got a missed call from Pippa. 71 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:10,840 Aye, me anaw. 72 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,200 Awk we'll phone her back tomorrow. No acting chat tonight. 73 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,040 Aye, I cannae be bothered talking to her yet. 74 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,320 Besides, it's about us tonight Steve. 75 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,319 - And Berry. - Oh aye, and Berry. 76 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:26,199 - Here, what did you end up getting him anyway? - Just put money in a card. 77 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,520 - Aye... put my name on the card? - Aye. 78 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,360 - You got a pen? - Whit would I have a pen for!? 79 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,079 - Hey oh! - How's it goin' Paul?. 80 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,759 Aye not too bad. Yknow how it is, an absolute nightmare to get changed in they work's toilets. 81 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,000 Especially wi' these buggers... ooh ya! 82 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,320 Aw cheers for daein' that shift for me, by the way. 83 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,279 I didn't do a shift for ye today Steve. 84 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:52,040 - Naw? - No. 85 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:54,280 Shite. 86 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:56,200 You wantin' a pint? 87 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:57,920 Aye, aye why not George. 88 00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:59,120 Pint of lager, Shug! 89 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,520 - Here, what did yous get Berry for his birthday by the way? - Awk we just put money in a card. 90 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,240 Oh, that's a good idea actually. 91 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:06,840 I might dae the same. 92 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,480 - Is that the card there? - Aye. 93 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,280 Go on then Steve, whack my name on the card. 94 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,359 Aw aye, that's a nice thing that. 95 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:24,480 - Oh aye, thoughtful. - Aye, aye he'll like that. 96 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:32,399 So after they read the poem, they were so impressed that they offered me two weeks in Cancun, all inclusive. 97 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,119 - All inclusive? - All inclusive. 98 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:38,120 Of course, with skin like mine, two weeks of sun is a bit much, but it was a nice gesture. 99 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,000 Aw, tune! 100 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,079 ...little games that you play, 101 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:46,559 crying thunderstorms on sunny days. 102 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:49,159 Are you an experienced trickster? 103 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,879 Or a masterful mixer? 104 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,760 Applying make-up to your poker face. 105 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:57,239 Finally! I was wondering when the 'Slab boys' would appear. 106 00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:00,280 Phil, Spanky... but where's Hector? 107 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,120 We can't bury him! 108 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,320 Because we've already burned him! 109 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,800 Look, speak to uncle Malcolm about it, okay? 110 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:09,199 Right, bye Gran. 111 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:12,039 Whit you daein' here? Is this no' meant to be your surprise party? 112 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:17,480 It is! I've got it all planned out. I'm going to be surprised in exactly 20 minutes. 113 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,079 - Whit? - Well, Happy Birthday Berry! 114 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,640 We got ye a wee something. 115 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:25,640 - This is from all of us. - Aw thank you, you shouldn't have. 116 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,800 Two pound thirty... 117 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:32,280 How incredibly... precise. 118 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:36,240 Aye, sorry. The taxi was a wee bit more than we expected. 119 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,640 But it's emm... it's a pound a drink in here isn't it? 120 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,200 It's two pounds a drink. 121 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:43,800 Oh. 122 00:07:56,120 --> 00:08:00,160 So, ehh... I love what you've done wi' the place Berry. Balloons 'n that. 123 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,119 Y'know, it reminds me of my Auntie's 50th. 124 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:07,160 All that's missing is my uncle Andy stoating about pished, and the DJ playing The Nolans. 125 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,079 The Nolans? 126 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,720 Y'know, The Nolans! 127 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:17,879 I'm in the mood for dancing, romancing and... 128 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,559 Oh yes! Yeah... 129 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:20,960 Aye, The Nolans. 130 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,759 - So, what age are you anyway Berry? - Good question George. 131 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:28,200 What age is a fine wine when it finally matures? 132 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:31,639 Is a tree ageless as long as the birds still have a home? 133 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:32,879 If a castle, on a hill... 134 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:33,960 Just tell me yer age Berry. 135 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:36,280 Twenty two. 136 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:38,320 Cool. 137 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:43,840 Well, thanks for coming George. Bar's just over there. 138 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,760 Oh right... 139 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,760 Aye... 140 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:07,879 Want tae gie yersel peace! 141 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,999 - It's the wee back bit! - The wee back bit? 142 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,000 Aye, the wee back bit never behaves itself. 143 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:14,759 Right, stand still. 144 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,200 There ye go. 145 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:22,999 - Aw cheers mate. - Aye, nae worries. 146 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,000 What yous having boys? 147 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:25,840 - Kenny? - Aye. 148 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,280 - Do you work here anaw? - Aye. 149 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:30,960 You must be gettin' humped off the taxman. 150 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,560 Ehh, two beers please Kenny. 151 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:40,760 There's a missed call from Pippa. 152 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:45,520 - D'you think we should phone her back? - Naw mate, come on, we agreed, no agent chat tonight! 153 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,760 Aye, but this is the third time. 154 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:51,759 Look, tonight's about celebrating. Celebrating Berry's birthday. 155 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,440 It's about celebrating friends, new and old. 156 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:58,720 It's about being grateful. Being grateful for one another. 157 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,040 Aye, aye you're right. 158 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,559 - Listen, I'm going to need you to bolt soon, right? - Whit!? 159 00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:06,200 Well I'm meeting Lucy here for a drink. She'll be arriving any minute. 160 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,440 Aw is that how it is eh? Ditch yer pals for some lassie? 161 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,319 Aye! 162 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:12,720 Aye, I'd dae the same. 163 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:20,359 Instrumental 164 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:21,880 Four pounds, boys. 165 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,440 You got two pounds Steve? 166 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:39,199 ...and reveal all I want to hide. 167 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,920 Deep, deep down... 168 00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:43,520 Lucy... 169 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:45,760 Awright mate, I'm Craig. 170 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,400 A pint please, mate. 171 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,760 - Steve. - Aw right, how d'you know Berry? 172 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,840 - Aw, he stays below me. - Aw right. 173 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:57,400 You? 174 00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,640 I used to work wi' him up the bingo, years ago. 175 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,000 - Bingo? - Aye! 176 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,319 Rumbling the old baws, eh? 177 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:07,240 Eh? Naw, we were cleaners. 178 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:14,639 ...to occupy your time, 179 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,720 distractions are harder and harder to come by... 180 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,160 Awright. I'm Berry, Barry's pal. 181 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,520 D'you no' mean 'Barry, Berry's pal'? 182 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:26,240 How, whit did I say? 183 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:27,959 Well you said you were Berry, Barry's pa... 184 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,320 URGHHH! 185 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,879 ...drip feed me the valium. 186 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:37,160 {Yip Man - Not That Easy]Cos you might be in my pocket, hiding in my wallet... 187 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:40,440 Pina Colada! 188 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,760 Beer. Please. 189 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:51,240 Stuart? 190 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,040 Steve. 191 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,960 Lucy said something about a card for Berry going around. 192 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,480 Aye, I'll add yer name. 193 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:02,120 Who are you again? 194 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:06,640 I think the real question, Steve, is who are you? What are you? 195 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,600 What are you? 196 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:12,280 I'll just put 'from yer pal'. 197 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:15,800 No! Put 'Welcome to The Pier'. 198 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,479 Aye, I can see if there's any jobs going at the call centre. 199 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:42,639 See, I've only been working there a wee while, but I'm basically the main man now. 200 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:47,239 - Oh, very impressive! - And, I'll make sure that you get the desk next to me. 201 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:50,640 - I thought you worked next to Steve? - Aye, but we'll shift him! 202 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,159 See between me and you, he does what I tell him. 203 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:54,360 Oh really? 204 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:55,999 Steve! Paul says... 205 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,600 Woah! Woah! Whit ye daein'? 206 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:00,920 Don't go shoutin' that across the room, let the man enjoy the party. 207 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,240 So, eh, art school. 208 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,560 Aye, I love the drawings 'n that. 209 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,160 Monet... 210 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,720 Ehh... Richard Van Gough... 211 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:13,960 ...painters 'n that. 212 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:20,200 I felt the bitter pang of jealousy 213 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:24,639 as you said all you had been doing 214 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,999 Paul! Paul! 215 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:31,519 since I last saw you when I returned your keys 216 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:35,920 and everything was still confusing. 217 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,000 D'you know where the pishers are? 218 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,000 Ehh, over there. 219 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,480 I'm gonnae go. 220 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:10,720 Right. 221 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:18,560 Yeah I'm just a broke, skinny white ghost. 222 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:25,200 I always said I'll do it tomorrow... 223 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,960 - You on the water then, eh? - Got to keep youself hydrated, Paul. 224 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:31,040 Absolutely! Do you mind if I... 225 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,880 - Is that Sambuca? - Keep your voice down! Aye! 226 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,079 Someone got Berry a bottle of it for his birthday. 227 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,519 So, wait, you filled up your water bottle wi' Berry's birthday booze? 228 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:47,280 Precisely! I drank all the water first though, so I've basically had my 5-a-day. 229 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,479 Aw right, but it's only like two pounds a drink in here. 230 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,000 Ye think I'm made of money? 231 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:55,400 Aw right, well, why don't I go and get us a couple of drinks then? 232 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:57,600 - Yeah, great! - Great! 233 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,080 Awright Steveo! 234 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:07,159 - Aye not bad Paul, yersel? - Aye not bad at all. 235 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:10,280 Y'know, a couple of Sambucas and this party actually becomes bearable. 236 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:12,919 You had Sambuca? 237 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:14,520 Ehh... aye... 238 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,280 Funny. No' seen you at the bar. 239 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:23,840 Naw? Aw right, ehh... well, that'll be because... emm... 240 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,720 Well, obviously y'see... the thing... emm... 241 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,960 Awk, look, Sapphire's got Sambuca in a Volvic bottle. 242 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,640 I'm standing here paying two pound a drink and you're battering intae the Volvic? 243 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,079 Away and get me some! 244 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:37,520 Well I cannae, she's finished it. 245 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,159 It's Sapphire we're talking about! 246 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,720 She's probably battering a bottle of Berry's birthday booze in to a bottle of Evian as we speak. 247 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,920 Are you standing here yourself? 248 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,000 Naw, naw, I'm waiting on... 249 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:49,040 I'm waiting. 250 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:50,760 Off ye go. 251 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,840 - Aye, but I'm wanting to get a... - Off ye go! 252 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:57,520 Some folk. 253 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:06,200 Instrumental 254 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,200 - Hello. - Hi. 255 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,120 - Holly. - George. 256 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,480 I know. I saw your advert. 257 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,120 I've been trying to pluck up the courage to talk to you all night. 258 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,280 Don't be silly, I don't bite. 259 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:26,120 Can I just say, you look breathtakingly stunning. 260 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:29,240 Thanks. You're not too bad yourself. 261 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:31,960 Thanks. 262 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:35,680 So how do you know Berry? 263 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,160 Aw I don't really. I'm friends with Sapphire. 264 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:39,760 Aw me too. 265 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:43,880 Would you like to go for a drink? 266 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,040 That would be lovely. 267 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:49,960 This way. 268 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:50,880 Holly! 269 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:52,520 - Holly! Holly! - Kevin... 270 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,919 - I had to see ye. - What are you doing here? 271 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,640 Sapphire texted me. I've missed you so much. 272 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:58,960 I've missed you too. 273 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:06,999 I spent a long time kissing the canvas 274 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:11,400 and I would clinch and hold if I thought we'd get through this 275 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:16,000 barnburner. 276 00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:20,760 Barnburner. 277 00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:24,919 Barnburner. 278 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:29,280 It's over, it's over, it's over. 279 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,439 Awk I've already put your name on the card, for fu... 280 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,520 - Hiya. - Lucy! 281 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:37,080 Hi! Lucy! Lucy goosey... 282 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:38,920 - What? - I dunno why I said that. 283 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,760 - How ye doin'? - Yeah I'm good. Glad I finally got a chance to get you that drink. 284 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,999 - I got caught up with a few folk. - Naw, naw allow me. 285 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,759 No, honestly Steve, I insist. 286 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,639 No, no, no, I insist. 287 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,440 I actually know the barman personally. 288 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,720 Two vodka cokes, Kenneth my good man. 289 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,160 Four pounds, Steve. 290 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,720 Whit, but you've no' even poured them yet. 291 00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:59,200 Four pounds, Steve. 292 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:02,480 - D'you take card? - Aye. 293 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,080 Birthday card? 294 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:14,200 Are you asking me if I accept birthday card as a form of payment? 295 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,400 Aye but it was just a wee joke... 296 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:23,440 Right, ehh, listen, there's a fiver, okay? Keep the change. 297 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,320 Cheers, Kenny. 298 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,519 - So, are you enjoying the party? - Yeah, it's turned out quite good hasn't it? 299 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,520 - It actually has. - I can't wait for Berry to get his surprise. 300 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,200 - Aye, same. - Great to see the turnout for him. 301 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,799 Glasgow's really starting to feel like home, y'know. 302 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:22,120 - Well, good. It's a great place to be. - It is. 303 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:26,119 - Thank you, by the way. - Thank you for what? 304 00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:31,559 Just being nice. You've been great. You and George. 305 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,719 Awk, don't mention it... maybe mention it to Gordon though. 306 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:42,239 Actually, I was going to say, if you're not busy after this, maybe we could share a taxi back to the flat and chill? 307 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:48,280 I think the others are going out, but I've got some vodka and beer that I've hidden from Sapphire if you fancy it? 308 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:53,520 - Aye, I definitely fancy it! - Sorted! Cool. 309 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,280 Cool. 310 00:19:58,440 --> 00:19:59,600 George O/S: STEVIE! 311 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:03,160 George O/S: C'MERE! 312 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:15,879 Look, I'm just going to nip to the toilet, okay? I'll be right back but. 313 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:18,279 - Okay, I'll just get us two more. - Great! Yeah, great. 314 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:19,640 Look, I'll be right back. 315 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:21,240 - Great! - Great. 316 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:39,520 Surprise! 317 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,800 Oh I'm so surprised! 318 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:51,160 Hey it's Berry, it's the birthday boy! Happy Birthday Berry! 319 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:54,480 This one's for you. We've been Yip Man, have a great night folks. 320 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:01,359 It's about time we stopped, 321 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,839 before the blackout. 322 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:08,559 Phone camera roll 323 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:12,039 to fill in all the holes 324 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:15,279 and retrace our steps, 325 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:19,159 as if the best nights you can get 326 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,800 are the ones you don't remember 327 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,960 or the ones you might regret. 328 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,479 And baby if there's one thing that's true, 329 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,040 I don't know the first thing about you. 330 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:38,720 Doesn't mean that I didn't love you once. 331 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,240 And I never seen it before... 332 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,239 - Whit is it? - Right, wait til ye hear this! 333 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,799 - Ye cannae stand there. - I'm no' pishing. 334 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,359 - Yer too close. - I'm no' pishing but. 335 00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,120 - It's the rules! - I'm no' pishing! 336 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,280 You're still close. 337 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,160 - Listen tae me, I heard Pippa's voicemail. - Whit!? 338 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:08,159 Naw, George, we agreed. No acting chat tonight. 339 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:12,480 I know, I know, I know. I'm sorry. There was nothing going on. I was curious. 340 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,639 Right, I really need to get back to Lucy. It finally looks like something might happen. 341 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:21,999 Steve, listen! You and me, we've both been cast in... 342 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,759 - Whit!? - Director saw us in the swingers advert. 343 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:30,840 Says me and you, we're both perfect! 344 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:32,839 Naw, whit!? How!? Whit!? 345 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,480 We've to be in London tomorrow morning! 346 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,000 We need to go right now. 347 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,240 - Right now? - Aye, right now. 348 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,840 How, have you got something better to do? 349 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:45,760 This is our one shot. You won't get any bigger than this. 350 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,559 - Do you know who's in this? - Who? 351 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:57,119 Right, ehh, just give me a minute. 352 00:22:57,120 --> 00:22:59,320 Naw, naw we need to go right now, c'mon! 353 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:00,719 Have you booked the taxi yet? 354 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:04,120 Pfft, naw, d'you think I'm made of money? We'll get the bus. 355 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:13,599 Instrumental 356 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:18,480 We're only human, 357 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:25,120 drunk on the idea that love, 358 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:32,200 only love can heal what's broken. 359 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:38,880 It's about time we stopped. 360 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:45,600 I know we're only human, 361 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:52,640 drunk on the idea that love, 362 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:59,400 only love can fix what's broken. 363 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:06,520 It's about time we stopped. 364 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:20,000 It's about time we stopped. 365 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,120 It's about time. 366 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:33,120 You alright? 367 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,680 - Bit nervous. - Same. 368 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:38,600 D'you think this is the right move? 369 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:40,600 What d'you mean? 370 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,000 I mean, like, leaving Glasgow. 371 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,160 I don't know if I want to leave. I like it here. 372 00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:47,760 - So dae I. - Then why are we leaving? 373 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:51,320 It's no' forever. It's just for a job. 374 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:54,760 Why don't we make our own jobs, here? 375 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:56,440 Eh? 376 00:24:57,360 --> 00:24:59,680 Why don't we write our own thing, set here. 377 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:04,400 Something that doesn't degrade Scottish people or the way we talk. 378 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:08,919 Just about normal folk in Glasgow, trying to make a living. 379 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:10,640 - Normal folk? - Aye. 380 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:12,680 What d'you think? 381 00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:16,120 - Naa. - How? 382 00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:18,640 Sounds pish. 383 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,360 Oh, this little home. 384 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,160 Oh, this little home. 385 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:29,600 Oh, this little home that we made. 386 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:53,360 Instrumental. 29855

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