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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:09,959 TV presenter: ...and that just goes to show you can have a fun family holiday in a war zone. 2 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:15,000 Next week on “Going Your Holidays”, Sally’s building sandcastles in Springburn, Pete’s in Wishaw 3 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:18,199 and I’ll be telling you what to do if you get kidnapped. 4 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:32,600 What you doing? 5 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,040 I don’t like beans. 6 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,920 Why did you ask me to get beans then? 7 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:38,120 I thought we could have pie and beans for breakfast. 8 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,440 Pie and beans for breakfast. 9 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:43,400 Living the dream eh? 10 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,319 What you drinkin' on a Tuesday morning for anyway? 11 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:48,639 This is my long weekend. 12 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,359 You said that last week. I think you've got a drinkin' problem. 13 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:56,119 Pish! Anyways, what we daein' the day? 14 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,520 Well, I'm havin' my breakfast and then some of us have got to go to work. 15 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,359 Hawl! I'm workin' anaw! 16 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,239 Workin' on whit!? Yer beer belly!? 17 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:05,320 You know whit! 'Space Rammies'! 18 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:09,519 'Space Rammies'?... Whit, your sci-fi script!? 19 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:13,959 My Scottish science fiction franchise. I've noticed a gap in the market. 20 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,999 It's like nothin' you've ever heard before, Steve! 21 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,319 I've heard this before, George. 22 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:20,439 Imagine this... In a galaxy, far, far away... 23 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:21,199 Star Wars! 24 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,279 ...where the main character’s beamed up... 25 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:24,280 Star Trek! 26 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,519 ...and he has tae fight this big cyborg fella... 27 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,520 Terminator! 28 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,080 ...and did I mention everybody's an ape? 29 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:30,199 Original. 30 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:34,879 Awk, whit is the matter wi' you Steve!? You used to love treading the boards. 31 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:38,120 I mean, look at this conveniently placed photo album. 32 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,480 There ye are... 33 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:44,800 Hamlet! 34 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:48,640 Stanley in Streetcar. Oh, Brando! 35 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:56,400 And there's you as second tree fae the left. Should probably get rid of that one eh? 36 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:58,000 Where did you get all those photos? 37 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:02,160 Doesn't matter. What matters is that we get you back in tae the acting. 38 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:08,639 You're becoming stale, irritable, creatively constipated. 39 00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:11,520 Let me be your... laxative. 40 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:16,639 I mean, I'm out there grafting. Finding work. Daein' what I love. 41 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,159 You've had one job George... 42 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:19,319 I'm a practitioner! 43 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:20,559 ...in a sexual health advert! 44 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,720 Commercial V/O: What else is he carrying? 45 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,359 Had to carve out the character. 46 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:28,159 You had nae lines. 47 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:29,239 Acting! 48 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:30,560 You had gonorrhea! 49 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:34,120 Only in the advert! I've been fine... this year. 50 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:37,040 That's the beauty of acting Steve. 51 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:41,960 Well, you know who that'll be. 52 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,400 Naw. Who? 53 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:44,600 The BFG! 54 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:45,239 Who? 55 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:46,080 Big Fat Gord! 56 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:47,199 Who!? 57 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,000 Big Fat Gord the smelly landlord. 58 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:51,080 When did we start calling him that? 59 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:57,800 Whit you comin' for? 60 00:02:58,160 --> 00:02:58,800 Company. 61 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:01,359 Wait, why is he here? 62 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,240 Awk, it's somethin' to dae with the rent. 63 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,720 How do you know? 64 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,079 'Cos he telt me earlier on. 65 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,400 He was here earlier on!? 66 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,400 Aye. 67 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:10,879 Have you paid your half of the rent? 68 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,280 Awk stop asking questions and answer the door. 69 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,040 I'm no' answering it. He's massive! 70 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,799 Stop being a shitebag and answer the door. 71 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:18,159 How am I a shitebag!? 72 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:19,679 - Get the door answered! - You get the door answered! 73 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:20,959 - You answer it! - You answer it! 74 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,279 Naw! You listen tae me, 75 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:26,080 I'm no answering any door, in any flat, in any building, any day of the week! 76 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,359 Have you paid your rent!? 77 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,480 Naw! Now shut up and pretend we're no' in! 78 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:37,920 Whit we daein'? 79 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,000 If he thinks we're no' in, he might go away. 80 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:42,040 Think he will? 81 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:45,600 Aye. He better, if he knows what's good for him. 82 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:47,200 Eh? 83 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:48,800 If he knows whit's good for him! 84 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,200 George O/S: I could batter him! 85 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:51,760 Steve O/S: Naw you couldnae. 86 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:52,999 How? 87 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,480 Look at the size of him! 88 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,240 I'm athletic but! 89 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:57,799 Athletic? 90 00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,520 Aye! Watch this... 91 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:03,159 Steve O/S: Whit was that? 92 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:03,839 George O/S: Jumping! 93 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,040 I can hear ye! 94 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,600 I can hear you! 95 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:10,960 Bluffing! 96 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:13,559 Steve O/S: Bluffing? But we can hear him! 97 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,520 I have my own keys. 98 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:16,920 Bluffing! 99 00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:19,480 I've told you this before. 100 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,559 So he did. I've got an idea... 101 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:26,280 ...right, get yer gear aff! 102 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:29,799 Steve O/S: Whit ye daein'!? George O/S: Helping ye! 103 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:30,960 Steve O/S: I don't need help! 104 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:40,040 Gordon! It's yourself! Did you knock? We didn't hear ye there. We're just out the shower y'see. 105 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:41,440 Both of you? 106 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:43,199 Aye. 107 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,479 Whit were you both daein' in the shower? 108 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:46,560 Washing! 109 00:04:46,920 --> 00:05:06,040 Instrumental 110 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:11,600 Berry O/S: Lucy, here at last. I guess all roads do lead to... Glasgow. 111 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,799 I've missed you, big city slicker now eh? 112 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:20,800 I still prefer a green field to a grey road, but life congregates in the city. 113 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,359 Give me that bag. 114 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,080 - Aw thanks. - Chivalry hasn't died yet. 115 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,999 So this is your life? Can't have taken long to pack. 116 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,119 Yip, that's everything! Decided to leave everything I didn't need back at home. 117 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:32,799 Bravo Lucy. 118 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:36,759 New flat, new start, new me. Plus, there's a lorry coming later with the rest. 119 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,959 - A lorry!? - I'm so excited! What's my room like? 120 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,840 All in good time, all in good time. 121 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,960 Don’t you just love this city? 122 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,880 It’s so... real. 123 00:05:55,640 --> 00:06:06,479 Responsibility. Reliability. Respect. Three things your mother assured me that I would get from you. 124 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:12,999 I mean I was assured that you two would behave yourselves. Gonnae meet your part of the bargain, eh? 125 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,199 D'you hear me? 126 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,759 Do you hear me? 127 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,159 Yes. 128 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,520 I mean, I didnae even want you here. 129 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,080 - Steve... - Yeah? 130 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:24,960 Don't want you here. 131 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:30,040 I mean if it wisnae for your mother, you wouldn't even be near this place. 132 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:32,719 - George... - Aye? 133 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:33,880 Hate you. 134 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:43,159 I am the landlord. I am the lord of the land. I am the owner. I am the daddy... 135 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,160 ...especially in your case. 136 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:50,319 Twelve months down the line and we still have teething problems. I have told you - 137 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,680 Nae mess. Nae decorating. 138 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:55,960 And nae pets. 139 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:04,160 And rent - on time, in full, the 20th of every month. 140 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:11,559 Look, I don't want you to think I'm being a bastard, y'know? 141 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:20,200 I mean, I know you're actors. I get it. I'm all for the arts. I pay £7.49 a month for the Netflix, Christ. 142 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,560 Hey, they even do Scottish stuff now! 143 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:32,199 There ye are! 144 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,599 There we are? 145 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,519 The Netflix! Get intae that, yer laughing! 146 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:39,800 - Netflix? - Aye write something...'Still Game'! 147 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:43,720 - It's been done. - Something else then! 148 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,919 - D'you play any musical instruments? - Eh? 149 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:53,319 My pal's daughter, Christine, she picked up a bass two years ago. D'you want to know what she's doin' now? 150 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:57,959 - Playing, onstage, with the Kaiser Chefs. - Kaiser Chiefs? 151 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:05,279 Naw, naw. Chefs. She works in a restaurant. They're all chefs. The Kaiser Chefs! 152 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:09,920 I predict a fry up! I predict a fry up! 153 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:19,240 Listen, look, what I'm trying to say to ye boys is, you've got to create your own opportunities, your own work. 154 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:28,200 Now get it sorted, both of ye. I will be back up, tonight. 155 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:37,880 Ruby, Ruby, Ruby Murray.....It's hot! 156 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,439 ...I'm miserable now, 157 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,800 oh yes I am. 158 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,520 Pies will be cold now. 159 00:08:55,480 --> 00:09:00,479 Beneath its skin, this city is scarred, It pines for the steelworks and the packed shipyards. 160 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:06,839 A town built on brains and Clydeside muscle, Shackled now, to the zero-hour hustle. 161 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:11,959 The pubs are lively because the jobs are not. Another city that Westminster forgot. 162 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:17,079 Yet still it kicks and still it screams, And still it's alive with working class dreams. 163 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:23,120 The uni's are packed with the world's best minds, The streets buzz with people and cultures of all kinds. 164 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:28,759 There's music and dance, engineering and art, And a statue that wears a traffic cone hat. 165 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:34,439 This town has seen decay, neglect and crime, And it comes back better every time. 166 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:40,640 There's patter and laughter and the people are real. Glasgow's electric and as tough as steel. 167 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,920 Good. So, is this near the flat then? 168 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:50,759 No. I just thought it would be good to bring you here. You see, you're not just moving to a city, this is a new chapter for you. 169 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:56,560 You're leaving the nest and entering a new, energetic, culturally rich and globally significant city. 170 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,279 This is, effectively, the re-birth of you. 171 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:03,479 Right. And that's why we came to a graveyard? 172 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,039 I love it here. It says so much without saying anything. 173 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:09,559 The hallowed grounds filled with so many memories, ideas, energies and... 174 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:10,999 I would like to see the flat though. 175 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:16,440 There's just inspiration everywhere. There's inspirational people, inspirational buildings, inspirational architecture. 176 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:20,040 I just feel so... inspired. 177 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,479 I'm glad you're really going for it with the poetry thing Berry. 178 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:26,239 Much obliged. The work is literally flowing to me. 179 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,360 Amazing. Anything paid? 180 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:30,880 Opportunities for exposure. 181 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:31,999 Paid? 182 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,599 Just getting my name out there, y'know? 183 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:35,639 Travel expenses? 184 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:40,160 Playing the long game. Not worried about finance. Just piecing together a body of work. 185 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:46,079 Well, poetry was always in your blood. Remember that poem you wrote about Mr. Agnew? 186 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,280 The less said about that the better. 187 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,239 So, next steps, university? 188 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,359 Yeah, I'm actually really looking forward to it. 189 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:57,479 Yeah? Good to hear it, about time you spread your wings and showed Glasgow Uni what you're made of. 190 00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:00,799 Or Glasgow Uni will show me what it's made of. 191 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:04,879 I've known you for a long time Lucy, it's no match for you... but it is a lot prettier. 192 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:09,280 Aw thanks. So what does the flat look like? 193 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:11,480 - Lovely. - Okay. 194 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:20,920 Just promise me you'll be careful. It's a great city but there's still... idiots. 195 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:26,159 ...and I don't know how we're gonnae get that much money, and the best part is, he's coming back up tonight, threatening to kick us out. 196 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,359 What's your name by the way? 197 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:28,559 Ehh, I'm Paul. 198 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:31,479 Nice to meet ye Paul. Press ‘9’ for outbound calls by the way. 199 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,959 - Alright. So, what's yer flatmate saying to it? - Who, George? 200 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,639 Ehh... aye? 201 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,239 Skint, as usual... 202 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:42,320 Twenty quid on Ruby Tuesday! 203 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:44,080 ...we both are. 204 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:46,000 Well, have you paid your half of the rent? 205 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:47,760 Naa. We're up shit creek. 206 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:51,040 Hello there, could I speak to Mr or Mrs Turner please? 207 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,400 Mr Turner (on phone): Who is this? - It's Steve from 'Peaceful Conclusions'. 208 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:56,199 Mr Turner (on phone): Aw it's Steve this time is it? Well I think you're a sicko, son! 209 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,559 Trying tae get me tae cremate my wife before she's even dead, 210 00:11:58,560 --> 00:11:59,600 YA MORBID FU... 211 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,599 And listen tae this, this morning he ends up moaning about my beans. 212 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:04,239 - Yer beans? - My beans! 213 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:05,480 Ooft, well, that's nae good. 214 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:09,599 Aw here ye better make that call Paul...Call-Paul! 215 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,959 - Aye, rhymes. - Naw really, you better make that call. 216 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,359 Man, I'm nervous aboot this. 217 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,519 Don't be nervous. Most of them hang up straight away. 218 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,559 Oh aye? Got a lot of hang-ups, do they? 219 00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:19,600 You like it don't ye! 220 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:22,160 Aw aye, phone dialling itself is it? 221 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:23,400 Co-worker O/S: Sake. 222 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:28,440 Hi there, is that Mrs. Malloy? Yes? Yes, this is Paul from ‘Peaceful Conclusions’... 223 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:34,240 Aw, I'm very well thank you, and how are you? Good, good I'm glad to hear it... 224 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:40,240 Aw, did they? And what did they call it? Rover, that's brilliant!... 225 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:44,240 Oh your son's called Paul is he? Well it is a fantastic name... 226 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:48,959 Actually, y’know what Mrs. Malloy, it's funny you should ask me that, this is my first day... 227 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:52,800 Well, you know what it's like Mrs. Malloy, I’m just trying to save up for a wee car... 228 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:58,200 I still don't know how I got that licence! It must have been that twenty quid that I slipped the examiner!... 229 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:03,639 Naw, listen I’m only kiddin’ ye on, I’m only joking! I passed on merit, and merit alone, 230 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:06,440 and by the way I only got one minor fault might I add... 231 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,200 Whit!?... 232 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:12,719 Aw Mrs. Malloy, don't be so self-conscious. Naw, naw, naw, you’ve got a lovely voice. 233 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:18,199 It's like soft velvet on a spring morning. You sound like a fantastic Gran, Mrs. Malloy... 234 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:23,520 Now listen, I hope you don't mind me changing the subject so suddenly but do you mind me asking, 235 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,160 what are your plans for after you pass on?... 236 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:35,000 Right, right okay, yes. Now, d’you mind me asking, have you ever considered cremation?... 237 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:38,079 You have considered it Mrs. Malloy! Okay, well I'll tell you what I can do, 238 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:42,920 I can pass over all the information for ye and you can get back to me as soon as possible, alright, and... 239 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,359 And just one more thing, Mrs. Malloy. 240 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:51,760 If your husband, Bert, is considering passing on anytime soon, it's ‘Two for Tuesday’ over here at ‘Peaceful Conclusions’... 241 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:58,639 He is considering it Mrs. Malloy!? Aw well that's fantastic news. I'll tell ye what I can do for you, 242 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:03,800 I can have everything sent over to the pair of you and ye can respond to me as soon as ye feel like it... 243 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:09,439 Okay, thank you Mrs. Malloy. It's been a pleasure to speak to you too. Thank you very much and goodbye! 244 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:14,799 - Come on!!! - There we go! Big Paul putting one in the George Foreman on his first day ladies and gentlemen! 245 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:20,160 Is the cricket on? Because all I'm seeing is ashes! Well done Paul! Yes! 246 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:37,759 Jesus! 247 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:53,599 It's not much but we live within our means, as they say. 248 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:59,160 No, no, I love it. That painting though, where did it come from? 249 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:06,960 That's mine. Don't ask where I got it from though and don't tell anyone you've seen it. 250 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:12,719 I'm Sapphire, which in turn makes you Lucy! I love your hair, it's so nice! 251 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,760 Like a blonde... rug. 252 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:19,119 Name's named, formalities taken care of, would anyone care to wine with me? 253 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:23,280 - Definitely. - Just a beer for me please Berry, trying to keep a clear head. 254 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:27,319 - I love, love, love your perfume. - Aw thank you! 255 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,319 - You should wear it out tonight. - Oh, are we going out? Where are we going? 256 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,319 Aw we'll defo find somewhere, it's a Tuesday after all. 257 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,199 Friends? 258 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:46,319 Cheers Berry! Lucy was just saying she fancies heading out to see the town. 259 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,239 - Oh? - Well, only if you want to? 260 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:55,520 Yeah, yeah of course, it’s Tuesday after all. Well then, as Robert Louis Stevenson once said, ‘drink up’. 261 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,559 - Hello, hello, hello. - Oh, hello. 262 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,040 Very nice to meet ye! I'm George... 263 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,880 ...and there's your boyfriend. 264 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:20,640 No not quite, she wears a lot of cheap perfume, so it would never work. 265 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:24,600 I'm Lucy, and this is my friend and flatmate, Berry. 266 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:28,639 Berry? As in Straw- berry? 267 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:29,920 No. 268 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:34,280 Aw. Well, I think you smell lovely anyway Lucy. 269 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:41,040 What is that you've got on anyhow? Is that... Channel? Christian Diadora? 270 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:42,680 Naa, more like Fila. 271 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:46,400 Oh, there's another one! You'll no be paying any bedroom tax eh!? 272 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:51,920 I stay upstairs with my flatmate Steve. So if you ever want to borrow any suga... 273 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:59,439 Ehh, we have bleach... and beer. Great night in. 274 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:03,000 So you're the ones upstairs who listen to the Bay City Rollers every mornin’? 275 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,479 Well what can I say, Steve is a fan. 276 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:07,760 - Aw, ‘Shangalang’! - Aw you like The Beatles anaw? 277 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:13,279 So, what yous up to anyway? Yous fancy a wee beer? 278 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,719 ...always leads to the same place... 279 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:22,199 Instrumental 280 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:40,840 - Whit the... - Steve! How ye daein’? C'mere! 281 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,519 What the bloody hell's going on here and who are all these people!? 282 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,720 This is Sapphire. 283 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:46,760 Alright. That's a nice name. 284 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,999 - I know! - Exotic! 285 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:52,600 Well, who's he and why is he daein’ a jigsaw? 286 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,280 - That's Berry. Likes jigsaws. - Fair enough. 287 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,240 Dunno where he got it though. 288 00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:04,160 Listen, we have got a serious problem here. Gordon will be on his way up any minute, tae see us daein’ this! 289 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,319 - Take it easy Steve! - He'll pap us oot George! 290 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,039 - Steve! - And I'll be lumped back in wi' ma maw!. 291 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,599 - Steve! - Daein’ they bastard dishes! 292 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,960 - Steve! Ye wantin' a can? - Aye I'm wantin' a can! 293 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,360 Don't worry aboot it mate. 294 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,200 But what's Gordon gonnae say!? 295 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:20,319 Why don't ye ask him yourself? 296 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:21,919 Gordon O/S: Stevie boy! 297 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:22,959 He's here!? 298 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:28,639 Course! Paid the rent, in full, cash! Even paid your half, ya cheeky wee monkey! 299 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,159 You paid him? 300 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:34,000 Godron O/S: Oh my God I can't believe it, you finally paid yer rent ya bam! 301 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,200 Aye Gordon... Explain! 302 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:41,200 - Won a wee bet on a horse. 50/1. - It came in? 303 00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:47,159 It did indeed! Even had a few quid left to get a couple of cans and invite the new neighbours up for a wee celebration. 304 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,639 - Unbelievable! Did ye get the bleach? - Aye. 305 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:54,039 Aw, brilliant! But what happens next month? 306 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,879 Awk, I'm sure we'll come up wi’ something else to pay the rent. 307 00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:01,440 - Aye probably. - Speaking of neighbours, this is Lucy. 308 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,559 Hiya! You must be Steve! Heard a lot about ye! 309 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:08,639 Aye, aye Steve... short for... Stephen. 310 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:12,279 - D’you fancy a drink of this Steve? - Ehh, whit is it? 311 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,599 - I call it the ‘Vinnie Jones’. - Why? 312 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:15,799 Because it grabs ye right in the... 313 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:21,159 ‘Space-Rammies’! It's like nothing you've heard before. Imagine this - In a galaxy far, far... 314 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:28,320 ...Steve!? STEVE!? Are you alright? 315 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,959 Lately I've been drawing lots, 316 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:41,359 in a maze of dot-to-dots, 317 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:48,919 crossing lines I know I should not cross, 318 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:53,119 cross. 319 00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:57,840 Instrumental 320 00:20:38,680 --> 00:21:01,640 Instrumental 27532

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