Original subtitles

I think I kind of like it. Yeah. Well, I am a simple woman of service now.

So, it felt sort of braggy to still have blonde hair.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I am off to do good all day.

Hell yeah, girl.

My shift starts at 30, so I'll see you tonight.

Okay.

Cheater, why are you calling me? I'm not in the industry anymore. My hair is

brown and everything.

Okay, but I'm in L .A. all week, and Shirley just called to tell me that

has a coke problem.

Wait, what?

Yeah, apparently he won't do coke.

Oh, my God. I'm hanging up. I'm in the middle of doing good.

The defense is only requesting a continuance because they know they don't

case.

Okay, how'd that sound? Truly like every other time?

No, fuck!

That was not in the pocket. Last time I called, I was getting close to the

pocket, but now I'm on set and Emily overruled. Driving in the complete

direction of the pocket. Okay, Carrie, I can't do pockets right now. I just... I

didn't have any lines on that Wind Weaver show, and Night Nurse was a weird

hell, so this is my first real chance to give it everything I have as an actor.

Carrie, I... I promise everything is going to be fine, but right now I'm

dab in the middle of doing so much good. So, bye.

That actually might be all for me.

Yeah, that is all, right?

Hey,

back already?

I only did good for one shower?

No. No. I just came back to get this mug to donate to the poor.

Oh, you love that mug.

Well, yeah. I mean, these are the sacrifices we have to make when we do

do. You, me, that girl Natalie.

Hey, I'm real proud of you for switching things up, but I want to make sure it's

not all for me.

OK, Bane. I'm serious, B. You know I never judge what you did, right?

I just genuinely want to be doing good.

It's for real the kind of woman I am now.

Sorry. No.

I support that.

And I forget, what are you doing, like, for a job?

Right. Because you can't just cobble together a bunch of good deeds. You have

get a job and do that good job for the rest of your life. You know, it's weird

that you ask me that because, um, because...

We're a local nonprofit that plants trees in underserved parts of the Bronx.

And thanks to AOC tweeting about us last week, we've raised enough money to hire

a few full -time staffers. So if you're interested, we're looking for people who

want to do good and get their hands dirty. Oh, my God. This is so perfect.

Lance? Yeah? I'm gonna go work for AOC.

So, have you ever been on a procedural before?

No, but I gotta say, it is so exciting to be here. I really hope I make you all

proud. Well, that's nice. I'm sure you will. And I was still running my lines

my trailer when the PA came in, so I'm not sure I'm 100 % in the pocket, but

at least 90, maybe 85, worst -case scenario.

I wouldn't worry too much.

This show's been on for 18 seasons. It's pretty simple.

You just stand on your mark, say your lines, and we're off by five. Task is

landing. Well, here we are.

Hey, parents. Hey, Bob.

Hey, Bill.

Wait, what the hell is going on?

Hey there.

Welcome to Emily Ever Ruled. I play Emily.

Hey, did everyone tell you? We're out by five.

Hi, yeah, he told me. Hi, welcome. I'm the director.

Everyone tell you? We're out by five. Hey, yeah, I actually had some thoughts.

Hey, just got these from Crafty. They're so delicious.

Don't know if anyone told you, but we're out by five.

Yeah, no, everyone has told me that in very quick succession.

Okay, places for the next scene.

Okay, roll cameras and action.

Your Honor, the defense asked for a continuance. Yes, we were just put on

case two weeks ago. We need more time.

Frankly, it would be denying our client due process without more time. Brett

Laughlin for the prosecution.

The defense is only requesting a continuance because they know they don't

case. Court sides of the prosecution.

Emily, overruled.

And cut.

Okay. First one felt pretty good.

How do you guys feel? Okay, it's five o 'clock.

So, we... we got it?

Congresswoman Ocasio -Cortez, field office. Oh, hi.

I'm here to speak to Alexandria Ocasio -Cortez about a job.

Oh, well, she's in our office going live for the next seven hours. But maybe I

can help. What exactly were you looking for? A job in the field office?

Or to help canvas?

Or... Oh, uh, no.

So I was thinking about being more of like a professional sounding board for

Alex. Sort of like a friend who's on the payroll, if that makes sense.

It does not. Okay, so like if she's in New York, we could get dinner and I

help her hash stuff out in person. Or if she's in D .C., really stuck on

something, she could call, run it by me, and I would say if it was good or not.

You'd say if it was good or not? Yeah, well, I mean, I'm sure it'd be good.

She's AOC.

So it seems... You just want to get paid to hang out with AOC because you think

she's good. Then since you're near her, you'll also seem good without having to

do good yourself.

Exactly. Now we're speaking the same language. Okay, yes, we do get thousands

white women applying for this job every day, but it's not a thing.

AOC believes if you want to do good, start small, get your hands dirty.

a place called Community Shave. Yeah, now I know about the tree thing.

Oh, my God.

Brooke Dubac?

Wait, Cameron Colby?

Thank you so much. Hi, good afternoon.

I will have one cappuccino, please. And my grandma here will have a tall iced

latte. Yes, a latte for me, his grandma.

Sure thing. Thank you.

See? No one can tell. Carrie is perfect.

All I need to do is get into full prosthetic makeup every morning for four

hours. Then I can seamlessly move through the world without my security

Oh, I can't wait. Wait to tell Sreeder when he gets back.

I mean, this is all very insane, but if you're happy, I'm happy. I am happy. Do

you know that I even rode the subway today, Carrie? It was disgusting.

Okay. Oh, how is your new acting job going? Ugh, I think bad.

Everybody there just clocks in and clocks out. It's all just like a job to

I mean, it is a job, right? Yeah, but it's an acting job, you know? It's

supposed to be more.

Like that. That act.

That's a real act. And one great big Christmas ham, please, for me and my

friend. God, it must be so hot.

It's 90 degrees.

I know. Isn't it inspiring?

Like, acting is his whole life. And even though we do eat a full ham every night

for dinner, since we still can't have sex right now because his character's

closeted, it's actually helped me not even want to.

Well... I mean, if you're happy, I'm happy.

But FYI, I love Emily Overruled. I used to put it on in the background all the

time when I made you kids dinner.

Or when I took a nap.

Or when I went out of town.

You know what? Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen Emily

Overruled. Okay, see, I don't want to be on a show like that.

I need to go in tomorrow and shake things up.

Somehow.

Mama? No way!

Oh my God, Cameron, how are you? Are you still...

taking pics of your crack and stuff or wait you got married i'm sorry i can

never keep track of all your deals you and me both sister yeah it used to be so

all over the place trying to figure out what's next for me keyword me right but

now i'm all about using my platform to do good wait what i do good now too yes

oh brooke that's so cool and important I'm actually thinking about starting a

company, or I guess a collective, really, of just like -minded people who

to do good, but also have fun.

Holy shit, that sounds amazing!

Okay, tell me if this is crazy, but would you want to, like, co -found it

me? Um, absolutely!

Oh my god, yes! Oh my god, okay.

All right, so I think it should be called the Impact Group because we'll be

making an impact. I love that.

Securing socials now. And we should follow every celebrity alive because we

can't make an impact without reach. Reach is key. Should we post our first

photo? That way when celebrities go to our Instagram, it's not empty. I'm

already on it. Should the picture be a candle, the globe, or waves?

I went with waves. I love that. First things first, this has to be grassroots.

Can I write on your wall? Of course.

Then of course.

So smart.

Hillary Clinton. We have to. Media outreach.

Me. Integration Mondays. Yes. Big, fun, big fun concert.

Yes. Strategize, strategize, strategize. That's, that's, that.

And I'll email my friend Joe because he's great with websites, but he books

fast. Okay, great. Also, my ex is an amazing strategist. Great with boots on

ground stuff, so I'm going to text him. God, that is basically a full board.

Oh my God, babe. The impact group has a board.

Okay, let's meet at my place at 8 a .m. We need to keep the momentum going.

I am so impressed with what we've already accomplished. Don't get me

insane what we've accomplished.

I could cry.

I could honestly cry.

Our clients decided not to take the stand, Your Honor. I see.

Thank you, Counselor. And Mr. Laughlin, what says the prosecution?

We just find it funny that their client won't testify if he has nothing to hide.

So what's he hiding? I'm not taking this bait, Laughlin. It's his choice, plain

and simple. Plain and simple.

And he's scared. Go to hell, Laughlin. Emily, overrule.

And cut.

Okay, let's go one more time, exactly the same.

Or, um, I was thinking maybe this time I could walk around the front of the

table, maybe add some movement.

I love that.

It's just, then you'd be off your mark is the only thing.

Oh, totally,

yeah.

Well, maybe I could start seated and then stand up onto my mark partway

through? That's fun.

It's just then you'd be out of frame at the beginning is the only thing with

that.

Well, couldn't you move the camera? It looks like they do move.

You know...

I kind of loved that last take where you were just standing on your mark the

whole time. I loved that take, too. Love, loved, loved that take.

Okay. Uh, so... I'll just do it the same.

Okay! All right.

Yay! Day two of the impact group!

Brooke, I actually need to speak my truth.

I need to take a step back from the impact group effective immediately.

Wait, what are you talking about? It's been less than 24 hours since we started

the impact group, and you just texted me, like, 20 minutes ago to make sure I

was here on time. Brooke, I can't go round and round. We go on this. Like, I

seven hours of sleep last night.

Is that little?

But I'm really good at reading social cues, and I can tell you're upset. I

unfortunately can't take that on right now. I'm just out with everything else.

Well, what everything else? Are you okay?

Brooke, stop!

This line of questioning is like toxic or something.

And I want to look back on my time with Impact Group fondly. So this must end.

But I would do nothing but the best.

And Brooke, I mean that.

Hey, back already again?

Jesus, can I really not do good for more than a shower?

What's all over our wall?

Just some stupid shit I thought was something but is actually nothing.

Hey, what's going on? Are you okay?

Yeah, it's just that AOC thing didn't pan out. And then this other thing

either. And I'm trying to do good. It's just hard.

I get that, B.

But I believe in you.

And if this is what you really want to do, it might take time.

It is.

What I want.

Hey, you know, I'm actually off today, and it looks like you are now, too.

Actually,

you know what?

Allow me.

You know this won't count as good.

Okay, then, yeah, do me.

Hurry. Our clients decided not to take the stand, Your Honor.

I see.

Thank you, Counselor. And, Mr. Laughlin, what says the prosecution?

We just find it funny that their client won't testify if he has nothing to hide.

So, uh, what's he hiding?

What? I'm not taking the bait, Martha.

No, I say that after your line. I just... I said my line. No, you just

sip of water. Is that in the... No, it's not in the script. I just made a

choice. I thought I'd take a sip and then you'd say your line while I was

a sip.

You know what? Never mind. I actually don't think my character is thirsty.

Cool. And just to be safe, why don't we actually take the water off set?

Can we maybe turn the clock a little? Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Oh,

this is so hard.

I'm sorry. Sorry. Can we maybe have me against the wall? That way you're facing

this great big wall. Fuck yeah. Tell me what to do. Yeah. Of course. Yeah.

I gotta take this. I'm in, you thief.

Hey! I just wanted to see where the ape my partner is. Or do you not care about

the impact group anymore?

Wait, I'm sorry.

I thought the impact group was over?

Tell that to the investors, babe.

I'm with some of them now. And they love the idea of making an impact but also

having fun.

You are?

They do?

Yes, and they want to meet you too since you're all over the website.

Oh my god, we have a website?

I mean...

have good to do today?

Oh, and this shit on the wall?

It's the future.

Oh.

Hey, I wanted to talk about that last scene. It's just normally how it goes is

the judge talks, and then you talk, and then I talk. Right. But today the judge

talked, and then you talked.

And then you drank some water. I know, I know. It won't happen again. No, I...

I kind of liked it.

And what did you mean when you said you made a choice?

Sorry, have you never heard of making a choice before?

That's what acting's all about.

No, it's about standing on your mark and saying your lines and then going home

at five.

But there's so much more to it than that.

Like, on some sets, they let actors play.

Sometimes we even get to do a whole take just for us to, I don't know, try

something. What kind of thing?

That's the whole point, silly.

We don't know until they call action.

Oh, my.

I just want to say, Cameron and I are so honored you would even consider backing

the Impact Group. And we know in five years, you're going to look back on this

lunch, and you're going to remember that you got in on the ground floor of

something that changed the world.

Well, we certainly hope so.

Now, let's start with the basics. Oh, hit us with it. Yeah, fire away.

What does the Impact Group do?

Do? Yes. You say you plan on changing the world, but how?

In what way?

All right.

We're totally getting grilled right now, and rightfully so.

But we do want to dive into, like, the nitty gritties of it. So I'm going to

us some more drinks, and I'll let my work wife just kind of start the

conversation.

Oh, my God, Brooke, I'm in fucking hell.

You're in hell? You left me out there. Also, how do we never, in all of our

brainstorming, ever once decide what our company did?

Really, Mama?

You still don't want to go there?

You're the person who's supposed to keep us on track. You're the chief operating

officer. I am? Oh, my God, my life is over.

Look, I'm shaking.

I'm literally shaking.

Can you just go out there and stall for two minutes, please?

Fine, but only two minutes.

Grandma? Brookie! Hi!

I'm just here in public having lunch with my new friend Nancy. We met at

Foods. I was there buying lettuce by myself.

So independent.

But I have to go.

Isn't she pretty?

Excuse me. Like her mother.

So, where were we? We asked what the impact group did and you both ran to the

bathroom.

Small bladders. You know us girls and gay men.

Anyway, why don't I get us started?

Yep. And Cameron will be out in a sec.

Uber for Cameron? Yep.

Your Honor, Mr. Laughlin is flat out lying to the court. That's enough,

Overruled.

And cut.

And I have this friend that was on Curb, and look at his script.

Every page is blank. That's because Larry trusts the actors to make up every

line. And that works.

A lot of the time, yes.

Your Honor, how is that relevant to this case?

Let's find out, shall we? Emily, overruled.

And on

some shows, the actors actually go to

the writer's room.

Really?

When do they go?

I think they just pop by.

Pop by.

Please be advised, we have a hard out at 5 p .m. 5 p .m. on the dot.

Mr. Laughlin does not care about justice.

All he cares about is having another win under his belt, and I will not allow

him to send... You should also watch Euphoria. Here, I brought laptops in

the outside. On that show, the camera never stops moving, and there's no shot

list. The actors and the director just figure it out together every day.

That sounds bad, actually.

That's what they want you to think.

Set the tone.

Quell this.

It's overruled. We need to speak to our guest actor immediately.

Where is he?

The set is our playground.

It's our sandbox.

Every day you have to go in there and surprise yourself. Surprise the crew.

What the hell is going on in here?

Oh, myth overruled.

Nothing. I was just... Have you heard that you've been telling the other

that they should talk directly to props?

That they can bring their own wardrobe? That they can direct if they wanted to?

I mean, actors do make the best directors.

After all, we know the material better than anyone.

I mean, I do see how that's true.

It's actually insane that you haven't directed this show in all 18 years.

Really? Yes.

A lot of actors do.

Demand to.

But what if I don't know anything about directing?

Like, not a thing.

It doesn't matter.

Oh, my.

Well, what if I don't even care about it? And I never want to do it again.

I just like the idea of making them let me do it. That's fine.

It's your right.

Okay.

Sorry, what did you say?

I'm here to plant trees for the rest of my natural life.

Oh, you're looking for a full -time position.

Yes, I need a real job that is good, and this is that. So, I want it. Well,

great. We're loading up now to do a big planting in the middle of the 95

freeway. To sign these forms, grab a big sack of dirt, and make sure you drink

plenty of water because it's going to get hot. And that sort of humid hot

your whole body gets wet, and you're sort of like in a big bath all day.

We fully ghosted the investors.

I don't know what to tell you, babe. They invested.

Can you be here in 10 minutes? And on your way, pick up some people we made an

impact on so far.

I can't. I'm in the Bronx because not one thing led me to believe that the

impact group was happening.

Wow. And there it is. Are you really not going to come? You're just going to,

like, throw me to the wolves?

Wolves? You just said you were at a party.

Yeah, and the investors are asking where their $2 million went.

Well, where did it go?

You tell me. It's your name on all the checks.

Okay, let's do this.

Cameron, I have to go. No, Brooke, if you hang up on me, I will never feel

starting another multi -million dollar business with you again.

Sorry about that. I guess let's go plant some goddamn trees.

That's the spirit.

Don't forget your big sack of dirt.

Oh, right.

Silly me.

All actors to set, please. All actors. Shit.

I just, I can't go to set this way. How can I go to set this way?

You look beautiful.

No. You should.

No. You're a guest star. You can be a deal if you want, but I'm Emily

I set the tone.

But don't you want acting to be more?

Like this guy I'm dating now is an actor and he's in character all the time.

It's fun, and it works. Like, I checked his heart meter on IMDb, and he's number

99.

What am I?

Four million and four.

And the judge is last.

He's the very last person on IMDb.

Louie, you ready? Don't forget, we have to be up by five.

I'm sorry, Carrie, I can't.

Please.

Help me.

Do you...

Have any makeup?

Give me your cheek.

Now the other one.

Good. Now raise your chin.

They won't be able to tell? No.

No, they won't be able to tell.

Eyes on Emily, coming to set now.

I can't play, but you can.

Go be a nightmare, Carrie.

For all of us.

Seriously, I was filling out Ms. Lee's chart today and all I could think about

was getting drunk. I know, work was so long today.

Yes, so long for me too. I am also a part of this now.

Hi,

these are from the old lady at the bar putting her eyebrow back on.

Brookie, hi!

Grandma Dee. Hey, again.

Do you want to pull up a seat?

No, no, no. I'm having a blast being a normal woman having a drink at the bar.

You know, people are usually so nice to me, but this bartender has been really

mean. It's exhilarating.

Okay, you too. Well, cheers to us for all doing good.

Cheers.

I actually did do tangible good today. I planted 300 seeds along the 95 freeway,

and one day when we're dead, there'll be trees.

Oh, cool. I could never do that. It was so hot today. Yeah, well, that's just

the kind of woman I am.

And this job is so much more fulfilling than my last job, which could be so

hollow, right?

Seriously, what I used to do was so embarrassing. I once drove an armpit

the country.

Like what?

Yeah, your job could be a little dumb sometimes.

I know, so dumb.

Wait, what was this armpit thing?

Oh, her little brother Chase, my best bud, he turned 18.

And after he turned 18, he said he had to have a proper armpit.

Okay, last scene of the day, people, then we'll get you out of here.

Everybody set, and action.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do not let this man's past dictate his

future. The defense rests.

Counselor, the floor is yours.

Cary, you're off your mark.

Your Honor?

prosecution rests your honor and cut let's reset our dress

golly a little more and

absolute vision it looked good it felt really good did you see me throw the

paper

So how many more setups then?

Four or five.

We crossed all over. Okay, Dylan, print your call sheets for tomorrow. It's

going to be 9 now.

Do you think we'll get to theme 14 because the tables aren't dated? I can't

answer that right now.

Yeah, he talked to all of them, so the whole jury's going to have to drink

Acting! Acting!

Acting! Acting!

Acting!

Last call, everyone.

Last call.

Oh, I don't want to leave.

I've read four books and done so much with people watching the last seven

And only ordered two drinks.

You are...

to me it's wild one adult charlie temple please

okay what hot date tonight uh no i mean i

do have a hot lady back home and i love her very much she's got great kids

killer brain banging bod where is she well she's kind of famous

so we haven't been able to

go out as a normal couple for a while.

I feel bad because I told her that I would be out of town this week just so I

could do things, you know, like go to a restaurant, ride the subway without

making her jealous.

But man, I wish she could be here right now.

I mean, I guess she could be here if she was in some sort of elaborate disguise

or if she got like...

Four hours of prosthetics to look like a different person.

But it makes me sad.

Thinking that my girlfriend would have to go through that every time I would

want to take her on a date.

I mean, that's not a life.

For me or for her.

You know?

No. I actually can't relate to any of what you're saying.

Hey!