Original subtitles

You're going to die, you have just two months.

Don't waste any more money, the family will need it... Take him away.

Doctor, you shouldn't say that.

So who should? The ward boy?

I'm the doctor, I know it all.

But sir, there must be some hope?

There's no hope.

It's the last stage.

No treatment will help

If you want to waste money

Try a private hospital

We're short on beds here.

Sir you could have said the same thing... with love

I'm here to treat them not to love them.

But Sir, one should be a little emotional?

Emotions make you weak

But your attitude isn't right either

It's not?

Come.

You see how long this line is?

They're all waiting for me

If I was busy being emotional, Even those with hope, would die

Instead of giving false hope to those who are dying

It's better to save those who can be saved.

It's Thursday, shouldn't we be eating okra?

It wasn't available.

Ok.

Where are you off to?

Study group - at a friend's place

Study groups-chatting and laughing all night!

Like we don't know anything.

This is not a group apple.

This one's for your friends

He even catches the apple like it's a cricket ball.

You can go. Go to sleep.

Thank you. Good night.

Where are you going?

Why?

What do you mean why? I have a job...

I've got to go.

For how long?

I'll be back in a week. I promise.

Will you miss me?

No.

What no!? Say yes...

Say yes, yes...

People say life's a game.

I say the game itself is life.

From the sadness of losing to the sheerjoy of winning

Life is what lies in between.

Well said. - Oops, I spouted something profound!

Never mind.

It means a lot to me to have you on my show today.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

There you are ladies and gentlemen,

The one and only, Chinaman.

He was awesome in his time, what an amazing bowler.

He was one of my favorites.

I have only one favorite Kapil Dev...

He just had to flick his collar up, and the wicket would fall

Do you know who my favorite is?

Who?

Tendulkar

I don't know what he keeps adjusting!

For me it's neither Shahrukh nor Salman...

Only lmran.

I've met him

No way! - Really?

What's the big deal?

You've met lmran and you're saying what's the big deal...

What are you saying dude?

While you guys spend hours in buses and tubes,

I, as an lmmigration officer, have to meet everyone!

Without my approval not a pin gets in... and not even lmran!

You must have pictures... show us some pictures...

Look, I meet him as a friend, not some photo-hungry fan

He may be lm-ran, but I'm lm-portant too.

Let's have another round.

Let's order.

Don't ask him, he's one of us.

Call the white guy-

I like ordering Brits around in London; it gives me a high

I'd love to order something every few minutes.

Ay-crikey

Sorry sir

Second round

I beg your pardon?

Don't look. Come here. Second round.

It really gets their goat when you call them crikey.

Mr. Hemendra Harshad Bhai Patel... your next question

In the UK if you are a witness to a crime

which number other than 999 can you call for the police?

Option A: 1000

Option B: 1100

Option C: 112

Option D: 111?

Option C

Right answer! And with that,

you are awarded citizenship to the United Kingdom

And he scores!

Who are you calling?

I'm "calling a friend" like on the quiz show...

No, I'm calling my older brother-

I should share the good news.

You just have my approval and you're calling people

If they approve you, you'll be shouting it from the rooftops.

Is that Jignesh? It's Hemu...

I'm his brother, from London

He's not home?

It's amazing, he's never home...

I wonder where his kids came from!

I tried his cell phone but there's no answer.

Yes. Ok, tell him I'm about to get my UK residence permit

And then I'm coming to India

What do you mean why? It's mom's 60th birthday

We'll all celebrate together

Yes, please let Jignesh know

May god be with you...

Hemu have you lost your mind? You're getting

your UK citizenship but making plans to live in India?

Don't mess up my game

It's taken me 14 years to get here...

Now we'll go to India whenever we want...

To our people

Whether they want us or not

What did she say?

It's ok

Your people! Who haven't come on the line in 2 years

They hang up when they see your number

Forget it dad, it's not gonna happen.

They are my people, my family...

how can they forget me?

You know them...

When you come with me you'll see

Nothing is going to happen.

You're living in a piped dream dad.

Fine... fine... I love to live in pipe.

Look, he's at it again.

If you're not white, they practically strip you.

It's like they're measuring you for your wedding suit

What can you do? Everyone pays for the misdeeds of a few.

Not at all. It's all about the colour of your skin.

Let have a bet. 5 pounds says that boy there, he's in for it.

Who? - The guy in the brown coat.

He looks like a geek but they'll search him

like he's the godfather

See... They stripped him didn't they. Gimme my 5 quid

Are you gujarati? From which city? Ahmedabad? Baroda?

Why did you lie?

If I'd spoken in Gujarati he would've come home for lunch

And tomorrow he'd tell everyone:

Hemu Patel is a janitor at the airport

Anyway, don't change the subject, Gimme my 5 quid.

Why have you brought me here? You know I don't like Chinese food.

Just eat it... one meal won't kill you.

Come...

Come, come and sit.

Namaste... I'm Sarabjeet.

This is my mom, my dad...

Mom, dad, this is Kashmira

Listen, we have decided that we're getting married.

The rituals and stuff are for the parents...

So you guys discuss it among yourselves

There's no need to get flustered...

The world is changing...

Mom dad mom dad

I think we should leave these guys alone.

We're off... we're going for a drive

Go ahead and discuss stuff in the meantime...

I guess it's no point inquiring about the "girl's"

Educational background or home-making capabilities...

Or, for that matter, about our son's income...

We've just got to decide the menu and the venue...

Absolutely if we knew your names,

We would've had the invitations ready...

The bowler prepares,

The batsman is ready... his forehead moist

And it's the first ball of the over

Forget this... the next match depends on Tendulkar

And yourjobs depend on me.

This is your first and last warning.

Sir... cricket... cricket...

What do you mean, "cricket cricket?"

The cricketer David Abraham has been admitted

There are no VIPs and no cricketers here...

They are all patients

This is India's tumour

Check for Creatinine, B.U.N.

And do a Urine culture

It's itching buddy

I see that

Who is that?

Dr. Satyajeet. He'll be treating you.

Is he a good doctor

One of the best

A good person?

No comment.

If he's a good doctor he must be a good person

Hi -Hi

You've lost faith in the Indian team?

Not till the day I die.

But I've got to win the trust of people here...

What do you mean?

I got the call. Tomorrow is my final citizenship interview.

Ok - Yeah

You'll see, that Brit will be speaking Gujarati soon...

He'll call me Hemu bhai

But why are you changing the posters?

Don't you get it? If they do a surprise check

They should feel they are not Indians. They're like us.

Then they'll accept us right away.

But why do we have to put on a show?

What's wrong with us as we are?

If you attach a peacock's feather onto a crow,

He won't become a peacock.

I'm not stupid, ok?

I'm not stupid.

In Rome do as the Romans...

Hence, Mother India goes out

Mama Elizabeth comes in.

You just wait and watch mom...

The dhokla is off to become a burger

Next he'll change his name

From Hemu Patel to Harry Potter

Shut up

Shut up you stupid idiot!

I'm doing all this for you!

Not bad.

Your reports have improved.

Concentrate on mathematics

The vegetable vendors have baby gourds these days

So replace Tuesday's gherkins with baby gourds

How is the patient who had mouth cancer?

Dead. We'd done a tracheotomy-

he was smoking cigarettes through it. He died.

And the one who drank the pesticide?

He's alive. He survived...

so now he's shamelessly drinking orange juice

Another guy's come in, some cricketer

What's his problem?

Cricket... the same disease the entire nation's got.

Who is it?

Some David Abraham

David Abraham? He's an awesome bowler.

He was. Now he's a patient.

What's up Ganesh?

One's better than the next... but they're all nurses.

You'd better become a bit more holy

or drop that religious first name you've got!

Sir, one has to keep up the net practice

Ok... but help me as well...

In your condition

Don't look at my condition look at the thirst in my eyes...

Somewhere, in some corner of this hospital there has to be

A televion! I'm tired of looking.

A T.V.? I thought you wanted...

Absolutely... once I'm well.

But right now I have to watch the world cup.

I don't understand how you guys survive without cricket

We survive. We have to think about the end of the month...

You're talking about the end of the month...

I'm at the end of my days... do something brother, anything.

Sir if I get into all this I'll end up on the streets

Don't worry we'll do it together...

Nobody will figure it out

We're dead. It's figured out.

Namaste sir.

Doctor, it's you... I was just looking for you.

In the garden? I'm the doctor not the gardener.

What's the difference?

A doctor breathes life into humans

A gardener breathes life into plants.

And if the plant grows unruly, the gardener prunes it.

If this plant gets a television, it won't grow wild...

The world cup has started. I have to watch the match.

There's a pad hanging on your bed...

When the hemoglobin and blood pressure levels match

Normal levels, you can go home and watch the match

How do I explain? Just like treating me is essential to you

Cricket is essential to me

All you will get here is your treatment

The opponent's reaction is just like Greg Chapell's reaction

To Ganguly

Who are they?

You don't know that much?

Ganguly... our man... we call him the prince of Calcutta

That's why I'm recommending a television...

You'll learn everything

I know what gangrene is, I don't need to know who Ganguly is.

We can cure TB here, but we cannot provide TVs

Fine.

Come what may... I will watch the world cup...

And I'll watch it right here in your hospital.

Feel free to watch it but not here.

Watch it somewhere else, and die somewhere else

We have many other patients here, we need beds.

Hold it high.

What's going on? Tell us...

Is he batting? What's he doing?

Let me get a good look... I can see him... he's batting...

And bowling and fielding all at once... - Yes yes...

Once more...

Hey, what are you guys doing outside my bedroom?

If you're here, who's in there?

India's winning...

Oh god, at least skip the cricket on your wedding night

Kash baby come here... India's winning

Forget the cricket dude...

Saby didn't bother you too much last night did he?

What can I say? We didn't sleep at all...

I tried to calm him down but you know how he is...

Saby's really naughty.

Exactly... watching cricket all night!

Cricket?! Oh no, I should have known.

Except for the drinks break

you wouldn't even know it was our wedding night

Both father and son are incorrigible

Dad too?

What do you think? This is a genetic disease

Do you know what happened on my wedding night?

What happened?

What are you doing?

I just wanted to say that the entertainment programs

aren't on this late at night.

India is playing the West Indies today...

I'm putting on the commentary

If you want, drink some milk and go to sleep.

Or you can make some tea with the milk in the morning

Ok, Goodnight.

Mom... what a family this is!

It's a genetic problem... they all have it in degrees...

But really, the wife is really the 12th player in a team of 11.

All they think about is tea and snacks in front of the TV

Wait and watch... I'll ensure that this disease

doesn't go on to the next generation

All the best!

Come in

Good morning dad

Good mor - what are you doing here?

I brought you lunch

Ok, leave it here.

Do you want to learn off spin bowling? - Yes.

Leg spin?

Yes, yes...

Googly?

Yes

I'll teach you everything, but first...

get your dad to allow a TV in my room

A TV? Here?

The TV at home is ten years old but it looks brand new...

We still haven't got rid the plastic covers on it.

No radio, no TV, no cell phone

Is he your dad or big boss?

So you don't watch cricket matches?

I do, but not at home

I say I have a study group and go watch at a friend's place

Oh, excellent.

The dad's a partypooper, but the son still parties!

If you want to learn to spin bowl watch matches everyday

After every five overs, call this phone outside my room

And update me on the score.

That's your first assignment.

Gimme five.

Mr. Patel...

May I come in Sir?

Good morning Sir. - Good morning.

Mr. Patel... Mr. Emu Patel

Ya.

How many million Patels in the world, I wonder...

And how many of you have barged into Britain expecting

Her to look after you and yours

Well, never mind...

let's just get to the point before you sit down and start fawning

You must have read our manual, "Life in the UK?"

On how to get citizenship of this great nation

Yes

And you must have found how very easy it is to get it

Yes

Let me tell you Mr. Patel it is not easy.

And it is never going to be easy while I'm here.

One Sardar Patel threw us out of India

And now the rest of them have come to settle here

Why can't you guys make up your mind?

Now, show me your papers

Thank you.

Saby... wake up wake up wake up...

Baby...

I've decided... our first kid should be a boy. Ok?

Kash... our kids are not going to be made-to-order

I don't know, I has to be a boy, that's all!

I've even decided the name.

Nonsense - What do you mean nonsense?

The dad will choose the name

I have some names in mind too...

Ok, tell me...

Gundappa.

What? Appa is dad, how can the kid be appa?

Hey!! He was an awesome batsman... what style...

Have you really lost it? You need the name to call the kid

Not to scare him! - Go away.

Think of something, quickly

Muthiah

What kind of name is Muthiah?

Why why why? He's the best off spinner in the world.

I've seen him.

Before he spins the ball his eyes seem to spin in his head

No no no, I've got a good name: Rishi

Rishi? No.

Isn't that a saint? No way. He'll be off

meditating in the mountains as soon as he's born

Enough jokes. I've decided it's Rishi. So it's Rishi.

That's final.

Sachin - Rishi - Sunil - Rishi

Ntini - Should I slap you?

What? Hey... Rishi

Ok listen, neither your suggestion nor mine

Let's go with Mahendra Singh Dhoni.

Who's this now?

Dhoni! India's wicketkeeper

He's my favorite

When he comes to bat, it's like Tarzan walked onto the field

And when he bats, it's like he'll uproot a tree...

Tarzan

Mahendra Singh Dhoni

No way it's Dhoni. No way... not Dhoni...

Are you listening to the commentary?

No, I have an earache

Get some medicine.

Where are you going?

Study group

What channel is that on tonight?

From now on, your study group will be at the hospital

In my cabin... wherever I am

Go on...

Not that way, this way...

You too... Go to bed. Good night. Thank you.

Saby, you dog

Open the door

Export your boss... you won't have to work either

Hey Sati... how's it going?

My name is Dr. Satyajeet. And asking how you are is my job

Not yours

One look at your face and I thought I should ask

And what difference does it make whether I use half your

name or the whole thing. It's not going to change you...

I'm not a chameleon that I'm going to change colours.

Sleep well tonight. You won't be getting any calls.

I knew it...

you are Australia and that poor kid is Bangladesh

He had to lose.

You don't understand anything about cricket pal...

Ok, I'll explain it to you.

Let's say this is the pitch... this is the silly mid-off

This is the silly mid-off... here's the gully and this is deep

You're in deep trouble... your kidneys

Take care of them...

My kidneys seem to be run out... we're just waiting for

The final call from the 3rd umpire

You're on dialysis, you won't die.

Don't say "so what if your kidneys fail... you will still"

"Be able to feel the first rays of the sun, or a gentle breeze

Or hear the birds chirping..."

Those things do have their own special joy...

When was the last time you enjoyed those things?

I don't have time for such things

Why? You don't have the right to be happy?

I am happy.

If this is happiness, people will stop praying for happiness

You won't allow me a television will you?

No.

Hey you left me a message... is everything ok?

What is it? Is there a problem? Did you fight with Saby?

Kash, say something...

I hate cricket

What?

Ya. Saby watches cricket 24 hour.

He calls out to Sachin More often than he calls out to me.

Thanks to this world cup, we haven't even been on a honeymoon

That's it?

What do you mean that's it? I feel so alone.

If you can't beat them, join them.

What?

Why don't you watch cricket with him?

I tried but it's really boring.

It goes on and on...

Not like soccer that gets done in a couple of hours

What's wrong with you stupid?

Why don't you look at the 22 hot men standing before you

And they're not running around like soccer players

And when they run up to you to bowl...

What uniforms, what bodies...

Are you crazy?

I'm not crazy, you are blind

50% of the women who watch cricket, watch it for

The cricketers. And what's wrong with that?

Everyone's happy. When he's watching the match

You check out the players...

Your problem will be instantly resolved.

Hemu, your coffee

Thanks

Hello. Ya? Yes sir. Yes.

You want me to come today sir?

I'll be there.

What's up Hemu?

The citizenship officer wants to meet me in the pub

So?

What it's like match-fixing... palm-greasing?

You never know with these people.

Sir I've brought everything, I got everything...

Show me, show me...

Sir, it was really hard to pull it off...

Binoculars - Wow, binoculars. A radio?

I have that too... - Wow. Gimme five.

Why is the door closed? Leave it open.

Why are you hanging on to that?

Why are you laughing?

David found a great way to watch the match...

He knocked over Dr Satyajeet's middle wicket!

All while lying flat.

Good Morning Sir. - Come here...

What's going on here

Sir, nothing... nobody's watching the match here

Did I ask about the match?

Sorry sir...

We're dead

Drink up... you guys need it. Our guy has taken the piss

Out of your team. Your England is...

There's him, up there. And you in front of me - Hitler

He's waiting for me to die, you're not letting me live

I'm not letting you live, or is it that you don't want to live?

Since you got here, nobody's focused on the job any more

All day it's radio, TV, commentary...

Did I ask you to come here during the World Cup?

If it was up to me why would I be here?

You think I'm enjoying this, right...

Come, take a look. I watch from here with the binoculars

There's traffic all around, I can't see or hear anything...

Whenever a good bowler comes to the pitch,

Someone blocks my view.

I see more backsides than balls.

But you won't get me a TV.

What's the big deal about cricket?

I don't know. Whenever I watch, I feel alive

What's the connection between life... and a game?

Maybe there isn't one.

But there is a connection between life and happiness?

I want to live happily not half-heartedly

Which is why I'm asking you to get me a TV

and then see how my health improves.

Let's take a bet - it won't be you

But cricket that will save me.

Fine, you're on.

What? Really? Are you serious?

Look, you said yes and my hiccups are gone.

If you continue to act this stubborn, soon you'll be gone.

TV

And the remote... Thanks pal

Thanks pal.

There's a match tonight... let's watch it together

lt'll be fun.

That's your TV, this is mine...

If I watch your TV, who will treat you?

Cricket. I've got cricket

Thank you

Congratulations.

Hey... you're watching the match?

TV and wife... my life is all set... Wow

Priya... Priya...

What happened? What is it?

Ask her what she was doing with that animal downstairs

His name is Silver

I'll cut off your tongue

But what has she done?

Our daughter, was downstairs, in the dark, with that black guy

Glued to him...

Are these our values?

Look what's happening behind our backs?

They eat pickled cows!

Who is he? Who is he?

Who would he be? Some gangster-rapper drug addict

Like all black guys

For your information Dad, he's an engineering student

And he's much smarter than you are

See this... see this...

See this... - Hemu... Hemu please

It's all messed up... It's all gone wrong...

I couldn't be a good father, or a good son... or a citizen

The citizenship isn't crucial

It is crucial. To get a good job, a good salary

To get some respect... to be able to go back to India

With my head held high

You can go to India even now...

What will I go there and say? What will I say to my mother?

Mom, look, yourjanitor son is back from London

where he cleans toilets and sweeps the floor

to earn his meager living

You work for your living... you don't beg do you?

Priya... I have failed. Yes...

They had hopes for me...

My mother sold all her gold so that she could send me here

to become someone. What did I become?

Forget greatness... I couldn't even pay her back for the gold

Hemu, you are like gold to her. She's still waiting for you...

You know, we had a neighbour who used to come to India

with gifts for each person. Something small...

What will I take back?

All our income, our savings... our medicines cost us half of it,

And survival cost us the rest...

What will I take home?

Until I get my citizenship, things will not change

And I will make sure things change.

Oh shit...

Listen, hold each other's hands.

Sir?

It's all in the attitude

Hold hands quickly... you'll see, he'll start hitting fours.

Just hold hands... he'll hit a four.

That's better.

Hey, Dhoni's come... we love you Dhoni...

I was telling you about Dhoni...

Come on Dhoni... I'm telling you he's just like Tarzan

See what he does

Good shot.

What a shot...

I love you baby...

Oh... Dhoni...

Hey... why are you saying Dhoni... It's SABY

What did I say? I said your name...

Hey, I'm not deaf... I can tell the difference between

Dhoni-Dhoni and Saby-Saby

But why would I call you Dhoni?

How do I know? That's what I'm asking you...

Saby I think you're going mad...

His name is echoing in your head... Dhoni Dhoni Dhoni

Go watch your cricket match, I'm going to bed.

Good night.

What the hell...

What? What what... What baby?

Nothing...

What's happened baby?

Nothing. Forget it...

What? What?

I don't know what's happening, what's wrong,

I'm sorry... - What the hell... What's happening...

Saby...

Sir, Hemu Patel

Emu Patel. What the hell is wrong with you.

Sir, what you saw in the pub that day, it was all wrong...

That was for the Indian community to cheer up

Just like... just like a cheer leader

Sir, I love Britain. I love Great Britain.

I love being part of it... Sir. Really.

And sir if you don't like something about me

I'll get rid of it...

I'm ready to dress up like this for the rest of my life Sir

Yes, Sir.

I'm not going to get into this conversation...

Sir... Sir... Please wait sir... This is very important for me

My mother's 60th birthday.

It's my mother's birthday... I have to be there Sir.

So go. Who's stopping you? This matter is closed for me.

Closed? What do you mean closed?

Sir, I'm really sorry Sir... please don't do this to me Sir

I beg of you... don't do this to me...

Sir my mother's birthday... please sir

Mr. Emu Patel if you don't let go of me now

I will make sure that your life is miserable here.

Morning Doctor...

The angel of death that was waiting on the roof

Has descended a floor, closer to you...

You love mocking me... what did I do now?

You watched the match?

Thanks pal... I had a blast. The fourth ball of the 3rd over-

These are the pre-match reports

These are the post-match reports

Whether India bags the world cup or not, you have

Definitely bagged your place in heaven...

The reports are bad? I'll make it to the finals won't I?

You are going to die.

Hey you talk to patients this way?

Even healthy people will die on the spot

Show us that smile some time, laugh occasionally

What is your problem?

Watching people die doesn't make me smile

But that's yourjob... facing life and death

If you're so afraid of your job, change your profession

Become a chef... you can use your knife there as well...

I'm sending the ward boy, the TV goes out...

Send four, they can carry me out too...

What do you want?

Just two things. A television, and a smile on your face.

Why

Why do you need a reason to smile? Look at me...

I'm dying but I'm happy.

You're fine, but your face is a shroud. Why?

I'm fine the way I am...

What are you?

You keep chanting about cricket

What has the game given you?

Has anyone come to see you?

Does anyone care whether you're dead or alive?

Not a relative, not a friend.

Yeah, I have no one.

That's why I value the things I don't have.

You have it all...

So why have you cut yourself off from life?

Good morning, how are you?

Which one have you bought?

It's good right?

I don't like it

Saby, you should try something new sometimes

Eat it, come on...

Sorry I forgot the juice. I'll be right back...

I'm fine the way I am...

What are you?

You keep chanting about cricket

What has the game given you?

Has anyone come to see you?

Does anyone care whether you're dead or alive?

Not a relative, not a friend.

Sir... David

What's happened?

David has collapsed.

Sir, this way...

In the match of life, you've never cheered for anyone

It's time for you to change Sattu...

Life's all about change, change is the name of the game

Sit down

I'll get dinner ready

We'll eat...

Go and get dressed.

You too... get dressed

Can I... watch the match?

Take this.

What on earth is going on?

They wouldn't scream so loud even if they were witnessing a riot.

They don't scream when scores of farmers commit suicide

or when bombs rip through the city...

No wonder then that the only thing that's sacred for them is

their standard of living

Who's spending what...

That's all that matters...

At least in the silence of the hospital you can hear

the sound of death.

There, I can save someone's life...

I'm extremely sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm feeling claustrophobic here...

Let's go somewhere else...

They're a rowdy bunch, go somewhere else

What's up? That's a sudden change...

You don't want to watch India play today?

Forget the match... Kash, I need to talk to you...

What?

You know... from the first time I saw you

To even think about another woman seems wrong.

I want you to be the only one for me...

and me the only one for you. Nobody else.

And your name to be the only one on my lips

And you to be the only one I dream of...

And when I open my eyes... it's just to look at you...

What's the situation?

The bowel movements haven't improved much.

We need more tests...

I'm not talking about myself, I'm talking about you two

What are you saying, sir...

So that means no deterioration, no improvement

As the heartbeat goes for six, the girl blushes

And both of them laugh

Ganesh...

Call Dr. Satyajit immediately

Sir, breathe... please...

Calm down...

Sir...

Calm down... Calm down...

Did he throw up? - No Sir.

Give him an anti-convulgent

IV, Absolvent 100mg

There is a very high level of creatinine in the blood

Hypertension, no improvement after dialysis

Try dialysis again. Send tissue type and cross match.

He needs a kidney transplant, or the devil will die here.

Sir, "David"

David, Devil... same thing.

We have to control his Peritonitis.

We can't opearte with the infection. We can't do the transplant.

Find a donor.

This is Harmendar. You won't even answer your phone

Where are you? Why aren't you coming to work?

We're all worried about you

Look if you want a break, at least put in an application

Or there'll be trouble here...

Listen Hemu, please call me back, ok? Bye

Hi baby,

Saby, look, I entered a contest

If I win I get to go out to dinner with Dhoni

What sort of... up company sends people's wives

on dates with other men?

I'll sue the...

You're getting upset? I thought you'd help me.

Right... I'm the biggest in the world...

I'll escort you over there, seat you beside him

And come back home alone.

But you like him don't you...

I did, but I'm sick of the Indian team.

I want them to lose every match And Dhoni to get out without scoring

What's happened to you all of a sudden?

India is your life...

And... Dhoni is your life?

But he's really cute. And more than half the women

who watch cricket watch for the players anyway.

And you're one of them.

Hey, why are you pointing a finger at me?

You watch only women's tennis...

Women's singles, women's doubles, mixed doubles...

Who knows what...

Yeah, but I don't hold you and say

"Oh Anna" "Oh Sharapova" do I?

Look Saby, I'm sorry. That was wrong, I admit...

But why are you making a big deal about it?

Thinking about it isn't so wrong...

You only think about it when you want it

Really? So have you thought about why this happened?

Were you ever around for me? No...

And even if I did think it, what's the problem

It's not going to happen...

And anyway, you're just as hot as my Dhoni, really...

There are 9 other players too... call their names too.

What's wrong with you Saby?

No, what's wrong with you?

Look, I don't think I did anything wrong.

Think what you want...

Yes yes yes... It's my fault and I'm regretting it-

Regretting marrying me?

I don't know. Think what you want.

Saby - - I'm leaving...

Is this Mr. Emu Pateel's house?

Ya, that's me.

We've orders to inspect your house.

We have a warrant here.

For what? - Please co-operate Sir. Come on,

What's the problem?

Please sir, what's the problem?

Mr. Patel you haven't gone to work for 7 days now

Without any leave application or notice

But so what? That's my wish...

I didn't go to work so now the cops have showed up to take me to work.

You didn't go to work?

My wish!

Mom, Daddy, why are the cops here?

Because we're Indian, we're brown-skinned

And they think that every brown skin is terrorist.

Sir, I'm quite sure you're aware of everything

You work at the airport...

By order we conduct a check at those airport employees'

residences that disappear from work suddenly.

Bull...

I'm going to complain to home department

You think we are terrorists

Hemu... Hemu...

What are the cop cars here for... what's the problem?

Nothing there was some confusion

They came to my place by mistake

We are very sorry for inconveniencing you

You're clean.

And try to remember not to let this affect your work

Yourjob as a janitor remains.

One second dear... what does your dad do?

How do I know what he's said to you guys?

Yes... Yes...

Get Dhoni out too...

Who's this idiot? He wants India to lose?

Shut up... and mind your own business...

Hey dude, you'll be four feet tall if I lop off your legs...

Hey, stop getting upset...

He was one of us earlier... devoted to the Indian team...

So what's happened to him?

His wife has become devoted to one of the players

Since then he looks at the men in blue and sees red...

Leave me alone.

What's up big guy... you done playing the VIP?

Mr. Patel, Sir, how's your airport?

Without his permission a pin can't get in...

His job is to keep an eye on ins and outs...

What are you guys?

What are you? A backward caste who's paid to get

A new name so you can hang out with the higher ups...

And you... you send your parents off to the mall

every morning so that you can turn the heat off at home

And keep your electricity bill low...

Don't look at what I do look at how you behave...

Hemu, we've seen all that we need to see...

Now go home...

Come on...

If you don't get a donor, your game's over

And it's not that easy to find a kidney

Why am I telling you all this?

Cricket... cricket... my team

You'll die alone

Sir... you know David... you have to make him well...

You have to make him well.

Are you ordering me or requesting me?

Get back to work...

Sir... how is David Abraham?

He died - Sir, what are you saying?

I'm dead too... you can go and die too...

Hey... you're...

Doctor... can you use a woman's kidney for a man?

Did you find one while cleaning up?

Will my kidney work for David Abraham?

I can work sitting down...

Look, we're talking about kidneys not candy...

Oh give him some instead of me...

It takes time... do your work...

Should I try?

Yes? What's the problem?

Sir... David... To save David's life-

Look, I'm doing all I can. If it's not enough

You do something. I'm a doctor not a god.

But sir - - Get out.

What's going on?

In what language should I explain that I don't like this Black guy...

Dad, love isn't based on the colour of one's skin...

Love? His face inspires fear and you say you love this animal?

Don't you ever come near my daughter, ok?

Stop it dad.

I've been hearing you rant since I was a kid

We're treated badly here because we're not white

And you're doing the same thing

because we're slightly lighter-skinned than him.

What?

Dad, the problem is in your mind.

You are racist. You are narrow-minded.

You stupid!

I'm older than you, I'm your father, do you understand?

You have to stop meeting this black guy and that's that.

Come on - Dad let it be.

I'm eighteen and I know how to live my life.

If I listen to you, I'll become like you...

What do you me like me? What do you mean like me?

What's wrong with me? - I don't know dad.

What's that Indian saying Something about The washer man's dog...

Oh... Now you're going to call your dad a dog?

Go ahead. Say it. That's all that's left to say.

Say it directly, why you hiding behind a saying...

Hemu, stop it. What are you doing?

What are you doing here?

You guys leave... go...

Go. And don't let me see your face ever again...

Hemu, please stop it.

She has the nerve to abuse her father.

Please stop it. Why are you acting this way?

If you go on like this, you'll lose everyone...

How is it my fault? Yes... I don't like who I am today.

Hemu, nobody likes who are today.

If your family hasn't talked to you in two years

it's not because they've forgotten you

It's because they are sick of your excuses.

If your friends have turned against you

it's not because you are a janitor but because you

made them feel small in order to hide your own irrelevance.

Your daughter isn't upset that you have a problem with Silver.

She's upset that you have a problem with the colour of his skin.

You mother didn't send you here to get gifts

like the neighbours.

You came here to make a better life for yourself.

The problem isn't that you cheer for the Indian team

but that you are even willing to wear the flag of the U.K.

To prove a point.

Think about it Hemu, how can anyone be happy with you?

It's not yourjob that makes you a small person - it's your attitude

I never thought about your happiness

Or our child's happiness Or even my happiness

We could have gone abroad after we got married

We could have had a comfortable life

I said no

I want to stay here...

This is my country, these are my people

I have a certain responsibility towards them

So I took on this job in a state-run hospital

All I thought about were patients, patients,

and more patients...

I fell asleep thinking about them...

I woke up thinking about them

And yet, they wanted to avoid me... they were afraid of me

They made fun of me when my back was turned

And today, some stranger shows up at the hospital

Someone who is neither a relative nor a friend...

And yet, they are willing to give their lives for him.

And they keep making fun of me...

Because I'm harsh.

What did I do wrong?

"Where I went wrong?"

The answer is within you Satya

Each individual wants a little happiness out of life Satya...

The day you start to breathe a little happiness into their lives

Nobody will avoid you any more...

Morning

Sir...

Sir...

Sir... - Yes.

Sir the waiting list is very long but we've found a donor

And the blood type and HLA factors match...

Oh that's nice. That was quick.

Who is it?

Sir, my dad is in a coma. He's brain dead...

He's breathing but you know how it is...

But if his kidney can be used by David, it could save his life.

Mum and I have decided to give his kidney to David.

If I cross paths with him from time to time...

I'll feel like I'm meeting my father...

We have to operate asap.

Congratulations.

Congratulations Sir.

Congratulations David.

What's up? Sattu's been transferred?

No no.

I'll have you transferred out of here... back home.

What are you doing here? You've never asked for my autograph.

Come back later.

We need to operate on the 26th.

The 26th of April?

If it was 26th May it wouldn't be an emergency!

Don't worry about the date, each day matters...

But the 26th is a problem dude.

We're scheduling it for the 26th to solve your problem.

The final is on the 28th. Operate after that.

You don't have that much time.

Kidneys don't wear watches. If we delay you'll be dead.

It's the 26th. Confirmed.

No, we'll do it after the 28th.

I said the 26th it is.

I don't want to hear another word. It will be post the 28th

Is that a new injection?

Relax... relax...

Son, you've got to take care of your wife as if you've got

the Moon and the stars in your home.

I want her to be like the moon and the stars... far away.

You've become as tall as a sugarcane reed

But your brain weighs less than a cube of sugar.

Fine, make fun of me...

Go and tell your friends that your son is a dummy.

What else should I call you?

You couldn't even take care of your wife.

The name should match the behaviour: Dummy.

Ok, enough dad. I don't want to argue

I've decided. I want a divorce... I'm sure.

Are you my son or a judge... reading out decrees

It is decided I must leave the college.

It is decided I must become an actor.

It is decided I will marry.

It is decided I will get a divorce.

Next, if I tell you a thing or two

you'll be ready to walk out on me.

Daddy...

What do you mean daddy...

You just don't care about relationships.

Whether it's us or your wife...

Look son... Kashmira loves you and you don't see it.

You're off to become an actor

but first be a star in your own home... like your dad

Star? Him?

Why not? Only those who do "big" things are stars?

Those who are considerate about small things aren't?

Have you ever considered your wife's happiness?

Your father has.

Have you ever really listened to her?

Your father has.

We used to fight a lot too...

But your dad has never threatened to leave me.

Fine... he may not be the smartest man in the world

But he's an amazing husband... Really.

Did you hear that dummy?

Be a man, not a pain in the ass.

Marriage isn't a cricket match where you simply change the wickets.

You won the girl over...

Now show us if you can win your wife over...

Then, even if Dhoni scores a century...

He'll be a zero compared to you...

David.

David.

How are you David?

We're all missing you

Get well soon and come back to the cricket ground...

Yes... who is it?

How does it feel to meet your team

Hey, it's you guys... Come here...

You're practicing right?

Yes, we are...

They're really good, these kids.

You're pretty good too... nice try Sattu, but unsuccessful.

The surgery will take place only after the final... right?

Yes...

Hemu

Thank God you came to work today...

They were going to replace you.

After 10 years they would fire me for a 10-day absence?

Who do they think they are?

There's a commentator, I had performed a surgery on him

His name is Dogle...

Not Dogle sir, Bhogle... Mr. Harsha Bhogle

Find his number... call him... I want to talk to him.

But sir... - Yes...

Yes, sir.

No problem doctor, just tell me what you need.

Anything for our Chinaman

Thank you, thank you very much...

Doctor, it seems you're a cricket fan too...

Talk softly...

If someone hears you they'll give you a rabies shot

The surgery will be after the final... happy now?

I'm happy, but I'm really impressed with you

After all the resistance, you finally joined our team.

Sir, what exactly do you want to do?

David wants to watch a match, so he'll watch a match...

A fake match?

A real match, but in our style.

But David will figure it out right away...

Forget that, tell me what the symptoms are of the

final stage of kidney failure?

Nausea, vomiting, skin pigmentation, easy bleeding

And? You're forgetting an important symptom

Delirium, confusion, anterograde amnesia.

Your mind gets weaker, you're always confused...

Good morning, FedEx. May I help you?

Hi, this is Harsha Bhogle. I have a parcel to be sent to Mumbai.

It's very urgent. It has to get there tomorrow...

Tomorrow seems difficult sir, but we'll try our best.

I'd really appreciate it if you could...

We'll have your parcel picked up sir...

Good morning.

Morning Sir.

We haven't chatted with you in three days...

We missed it.

Three days?

Yes of course... If you had slept another day,

You would have had to watch the highlights of the final.

You mean today is the final?

Yes, it's today. And we're all set.

Look Sir, India's in the finals...

Hey you've got the blue uniform...

Organize one for me too brother...

And you've got the newspaper...

Let's see who all are playing

It's an India-England final sir

The match doesn't seem ok... something's wrong

Nothing's wrong

It's come too easy so it's not valued.

I'm talking about this place.

India's losing but nobody here looks tense...

Tense? We're really upset...

I'm so upset I've drenched three tissues and eaten one.

Hey the day that Sachin scored a century

you two had held hands right?

No sir, that was-

Hold hands...

Oh God this guy's stuck on the field... he's not getting out...

Sanction one more thing Sattu

Tell me... what?

Tell Ganesh to stand on that chair on one leg

so that he gets out.

Ok, Ganesh, come on pick up one leg.

What sir?

Stand on the chair on one leg.

Here?

Do what he says...

Hi

Hi... Hi Kashmira - Hi.

How was the day?

Amazing day! I took some fabulous pictures.

Really?

Ya, I can't wait to develop those pictures...

Oh lovely.

You're coming right? - Of course I'm coming...

Go ahead and change and I'll join you.

Ok. Back in a minute, Ok?

That's what's really nice about you two...

You have common interests

Honestly speaking Kash...

I'm not at all interested in photography.

So... then how come...

He can develop the photographs by himself.

But if I'm with him he feels that I'm sharing his joy

By spending an hour in the dark room with him I get

his attention and affection for the remaining 23.

Hello?

Hi.

Hi.

I was thinking... if you're free...

Maybe we could go out for dinner tonight?

Tonight isn't possible... We have to organize a party

for Vidhi's wedding.

Only girls, no boys?

Only one boy.

Who?

A male stripper. We still need to organize that...

A male stripper! What's wrong with you girls?

You're going to start stripping boys now?

Oh come on Saby. Now don't say you have a problem

with this too... You had a bachelor party, didn't you?

Yes.

So? Guys can do what they want

only girls shouldn't have any fun!

Ok, if your party happens to get cancelled...

Let's catch up

The party's on... whether we find a male stripper or not

And anyway, isn't your cricket final on tonight?

Wouldn't that interest you more than dinner?

Hmm, that's true.

I've been watching you... your bank papers,

your work papers... your records are clean.

You've passed every test.

I couldn't find anything to prove that you do not deserve

to be a citizen of this country

So it's yours... take it.

Now I get it, when it no longer means anything...

I beg your pardon...

No sir... nothing.

Anyway, congratulations. You are British now.

It's a stripper!!

Who told you?

Mr. Cook.

This sari... is for your mom, from me...

And this suit is for your brother.

Who knows when we'll get to go to India...

All the best!

Cheers man.

Really... I feel small compared to them...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Thank you

Yes... yes Mom... I'm coming...

What Jignesh? Thank you.

I'm coming. Thanks.

Hey Dad... Congrats.

I'm so happy today... I need something black-

Black keeps the evil eye away.

Your blackie is standing outside... and you -

Dad.

I missed the point all along-

If you put a Hindu priest in a church, he'll still pray to Ram

I was so desperate to change my circumstances

that I had started to change myself...

Sorry Priya.

It's ok.

Are you crazy? You're going to strip in front of so many women?

You're going to dance like that?

I don't like all this...

I don't like it if someone else thinks of you...

You don't like it if someone else touches me...

If this isn't love, then what is baby?

In any case I'm doing all this for you...

If you had done this earlier...

Sachin and Dhoni would be nobodies...

I promise... from now on you're my first priority

Promise - 100%

Ok.

I promise that after today...

I won't stop you from watching cricket either...

You sure? 100%...

There's still half an hour left in the match...

can we go watch it... please?

Please, please... You have no idea how hard to control myself...

What?

At least get dressed...

Hey Chinaman

I harassed you so much and you still saved my life...

You're an excellent doctor... but when it comes to

Match-fixing, you're an absolute zero!

What do you mean?

Harsha and Wilkins were not in this World Cup at all...

Did they win a quiz show and pop up in the finals?

You got caught didn't you?

If you knew why did we put on the whole show?

You wanted to fix my kidney

and I wanted to fix a smile on your face.

Both got done.

Now I'll watch the finals.

The real ones...

Yeah, the real ones...