Original subtitles

Thank you so much for coming in.

We have a few more candidates for Head of Operations.

A lot more.

No problem.

But I'm still going to send you that podcast I was talking about.

[sighs]

We've seen so many people, Dad.

You have to pick someone.

We open in four days, and then I'm gone.

[sighs] I know, I know, I know.

And there's still so much left to do.

We have to pass the final inspections, meet the sustainability consultant...

O-Oh, no. You can cancel that.

We're not asking guests to reuse towels.

You know, in the '60s, they would throw them out after one use.

Sure. Toss the towels.

It's just another thing for the turtles to choke on.

You know...

This might not be on your list, but

we do have one very important task to do today.

I can't believe you want us to try out all the new spa treatments.

We do not have time for this.

Well, someone has to pick these services.

Might as well be my stressed out daughter and her dear old dad.

I am just trying to be realistic about timelines and work flows,

and... Oh. This is good.

Is that eucalyptus?

You know, this reminds me of a time where I saw, firsthand,

that you can have some fun and get work done.

Oh, no. Story incoming?

I thought you said this was gonna be relaxing.

It begins with me and my best friend.

It was my one-year anniversary with Julia,

and I had decided to ask her to move in with me.

The apartment across the courtyard was available,

even if it was what the real estate business would call "charming."

[in Spanish] This place looks pretty different without a chalkboard

and our unifying sense of purpose.

It's not too bad, though.

It's a great first apartment.

It has one bedroom.

Okay, maybe "half-bedroom."

It could fit a queen or maybe a full-size bed.

Would it be crazy to put in a bunk bed?

Just don't put in a dresser.

That's what closets are for!

This closet can be for Julia.

I know it's not the house on the hill I always dreamed of,

but it's what I can afford.

Plus, I get a discount on the rent!

Because your family lives nearby?

Because someone died here.

Ah. Explains the smell.

Have you told your mom yet?

I was waiting to see if Julia said "yes."

I don't want her to drag me to confession for nothing.

Of course she's going to say "yes."

Oooh, how're you gonna do it?

Hot air balloon?

Sky writing?

I got it!

Pancakes in the shape of an apartment?

Julia is packing a basket and we're going to have a picnic!

I thought I'd ask her there.

After we talk about our days...

Uh-huh.

And eat some grapes?

Máximo! These milestones are all about the drama of the moment.

At least let me help a little!

Give me the apartment key.

I'll stick it into one of the cheeses

in Julia's basket as a surprise!

I don't know, Memo...

Bueno.

Just don't put it in anything she might eat,

so she doesn't chip a tooth.

[laughs]

[Alejandro, in English] "Alluring. Chic.

Oozing luxury."

That's what this "critic" is saying about El Alma del Mar.

I'm sick of looking at this article.

Veras don't come in second, we have to reclaim our number one status.

I couldn't agree more, sir.

Our occupancy rates have already gone down 7%

since that article came out three weeks ago.

Oh, it can't be that bad. Just a few rooms here and there.

And one of them is the haunted room.

No, the priest came. Remember?

Well, didn't a guest just report seeing a little girl holding yarn?

I'll call him again.

Boys, focus! We need to take action.

This type of ranking... It's a slippery slope.

Look at what happened to El Palacio del Cielo.

What's Palacio del Cielo?

It used to be the best hotel in Acapulco.

Then Las Colinas took the number one spot.

El Palacio del Cielo became number two. No big deal, right?

-Right. -Wrong.

From then on, it was a slow decline until what it is now.

A hotel for stray cats.

-[Máximo] Is that cat pregnant? -Oh, my gosh.

This is scarier than that little girl with the yarn.

Apparently, El Alma has this secret sauce

that places them above the long-standing favorite Las Colinas.

So I need you both to go there today and figure out what this secret sauce is.

But they can't know you're from Las Colinas.

I will look desperate. So you'll have to be undercover.

Great plan. [chuckles] Love it so much.

[stammers] But does it have to be today?

[scoffs] No.

It has to be yesterday.

[Older Máximo] Meanwhile,

my mom and Esteban were now fully engrossed

in their investigation of our neighbor, Juan's untimely death.

[in Spanish] We've been staking out Sr. Cabrera for weeks

and he's just staring at the TV like a monkey.

This is so boring.

Yeah, so boring.

[laughs] Oh, Mafalda, you've done it again.

Will you please focus?

You're the one who dragged me into this.

Wait! There's movement!

[Nora gasps]

Oh God, that poor woman doesn't know

she's walking into the lion's den!

Or is she his accomplice?!

-Let's move in... -Sí, vamos.

Today we will start with chapter two.

Wait, wait. She's a tutor?

I guess Sr. Cabrera's next victim is a teacher.

We have to stop him...

No, wait. Let's watch a little longer.

[tutor] Read it with me.

[both] G. A. T. O. Gato.

Gato.

It says Gato.

Esteban.

This woman is a basic literacy tutor.

Señor Cabrera can't read or write!

That means... he couldn't have written that note to Juan.

Let alone read and sign our petition.

That's why he slammed the door on our face.

He's not our guy.

There must be something we missed!

We've got to return to the scene of the crime...

like Miss Marple did at the Bertram Hotel.

-Ah, you see! -Ah.

I might've peeked at one of your Agatha books.

[Older Máximo, in English] While my mom and Esteban had to devise a new plan,

Diane had no plans at all.

Since realizing the hotel would never be hers again, she had been feeling adrift.

Héctor, I need another!

One second, mi reina.

One mango margarita with no salt.

And what can I get you, Miss?

Héctor, my love! Hola!

[Héctor] I'll be right back.

Yes, my maiden with flowing locks of braided hair.

And beads.

What do you need?

Another piña colada.

Por favor. S'il vous plait. And however the British say it.

Of course.

Anything for you.

Hang on, handsome.

Don't forget your tip.

Oh. Yes. Uh...

[grunting]

Okay. There we go.

[groans]

I can't do this anymore, Memo.

Diane is monopolizing my time so much that I'm losing out on tips.

Well, not her tips, which are kisses.

I can't pay the rent in kisses, Memo.

What do you want me to do about it?

Ban her from the pool.

I can't ban guests from the pool, Héctor.

[Héctor groans]

Except for that one guy who wore goggles in the hot tub.

Well, something has to give.

Do you have any idea what it's like to be working

with your significant other around all the time?

[Lorena] So sorry for interrupting.

Memo, I think the baby just sneezed for the first time. [laughs]

-[gasps] -Or actually, maybe it was gas.

You know what? I think I'm hungry.

Anyway. Love you, cariño.

I love you more.

And I love you too, my limoncito.

[both chuckle]

[gasps] Oh.

Yeah, I totally know what you mean.

[laughs]

Fine, I'll help you.

[chuckles]

Gracias.

Why is it always so wet?

No, you really have to cancel?

[clicks tongue] But the tiny honey with the tiny spoon.

I know. I'm so sorry.

But Vera's forcing Chad and I to go to El Alma del Mar

to try out all their VIP experiences.

-Ooh. -Lobster bar, sulfur bath.

Something called a diamond scrub?

Oh, poor you. It sounds like a dream date to me.

Well, maybe you could come.

Vera never said I couldn't bring a plus-one.

And you would be so helpful!

I have no idea what a good facial is.

-[chuckles] -And I do!

[squeals] Yay. Okay, anniversary saved.

And, well, this... this stuff wasn't good anyway.

I mean, look at this cheese.

[groans] What's wrong with this?

Why's it so lumpy?

I'll take that.

Mmm, delicious. [chuckles]

Okay, team. It's go time.

Just a reminder, what we're looking for is not actual secret sauce.

We're just looking for what makes this hotel special. Okay?

Thanks for clarifying, "hermigo."

So, uh, Chad's going to meet with the events director

to scope out all the venues while we take notes on the luxury amenities.

Especially those poolside massages.

-Ooh. -I'm very suspicious about those.

And the ceviche flight but strictly for research purposes.

-[chuckles] -Since Vera said we had to be covert,

I have a few aliases I wanna run by you guys.

Aliases? Uh, Chad, I-I'm not sure.

[in Australian accent] Hiya, I'm Mikey from the outback

and I'm hosting a big bug convention.

[in Texan accent] Or then there's like this kinda guy. He's from East Texas.

He's like a surfer dude, likes to smoke a little reefer, play the bongos naked.

Says yes to green lights. Okay, okay, okay.

[normal] Last one's kind of a wild card. It's this, uh,

wealthy, out of touch white dude here scouting a destination wedding.

-Yes, that. -That's perfect. That one.

-Really? That one? -Mm-hmm.

-I guess I could make that work. -Great. [chuckles]

Then we're set.

Chad, you can lead the way.

[groaning]

Recovering from an ATV accident.

[chuckles]

Feels like we're cheating on Las Colinas.

[sighs] Hope this goes well.

Me too.

If I had an undercover persona, I'd probably say something like,

[in Russian accent] "I am a Russian spy.

My name is Zelda Dubrovnik."

[chuckles] Ay, Palomita.

You have a lot to learn from your old man.

You have to... You-You have to inhabit the role, the emotion.

Look, look. [clears throat]

[in Spanish] And in the morning,

I'm making tamales!

Or... [clears throat]

You squished the holy snake?!

[squeals]

It's been puréed!

[laughs]

[in English] Those are some pretty random choices but not bad.

I have to admit, relaxing feels pretty good.

Whatever this pedicure is, put it on the menu.

Give it to the people.

Copy that, boss.

Uh, now, um, where was I?

And so Memo, who couldn't help but notice that I'm spicing things up lately

told me about this local henna artist, Leticia.

Ooh.

The bad news is it's going to keep me out of the pool for two whole days.

Oh, no. That is very, very, very, very, very, very, very bad news, mi amor.

I am going to miss you every single second that you are gone, mi reina.

And I you, my love, but I don't want to keep Leticia waiting.

Then you shouldn't.

[in Spanish] I love you!

[in English] Now! Which beautiful lady is ready for a drink?

Don't worry. You're beautiful too, Craig.

You must be Doug.

[tuts]

Doug?

Uh, the front desk said you were here for a tour?

Oh! Yes, I'm Doug.

-[chuckles] -Doug Dangerfield.

Hmm.

I was just distracted thinking about all the stocks I'm gonna buy. I'm a banker.

And I'm Gloria the senior events coordinator.

What kind of event are you looking to host?

Oh, well, uh. My fiancée and I...

She's back home in Topeka studying for the bar exam.

So proud of her.

We're looking to host our destination wedding.

-I only want the best for my honey. -That's beautiful.

[Older Máximo] Chad had thought of everything.

[chuckles] Yeah, we... we love St. Elmo's Fire.

[stammers] We've seen the Doobie Brothers in concert now twice.

We have pug-corgi mix.

He's only got one eye but he looks at us in just this weird,

special way that no human has ever looked at us before.

[Older Máximo] Except for one tiny detail.

Well, it sounds like you two have a lovely life together. What's her name?

Diane. Diane. Yes, that's a woman's name.

My woman's name.

I love that you're doing a destination wedding.

-I'm a big traveler myself. -Oh, yeah?

-Where have you been? -Uh, everywhere.

But, um, nothing compares to my favorite place in the world.

Machu Picchu.

I just got so much spiritual clarity there.

Get out. So did I.

-You've been there too? -[chuckles] Yeah.

There is this shaman that gave me this blessed anklet

-that I have not been able to... -Take off?

Maestro Lizardo?

Wow! Whoa.

I can't believe it.

Yeah. What a crazy coincidence, huh?

Yeah.

Well, shall we get started, Mr. Dangerfield?

[Older Máximo] Our new rival hotel was a pretty magical place.

But while we were there to sample all the perks that El Alma had to offer,

I was more focused on finding the right moment to ask Julia to move in with me.

Gracias, señorita.

-Gracias. -[gasps]

Wow. It's a tropical paradise.

Makes me want something fresh and fruity...

[gasps] Oh my god, did that just arrive?

[gasps] Is the "secret sauce" that they have

invisible waiters?!

It's like...

[in English] the guest gets what the guest didn't even know they wanted.

Wow. [sighs]

[in Spanish] Look, Julia...

[exclaims, sighs]

Ah, this is the life I deserve.

Now a bed this size is my dream.

So much space to stretch out.

[laughs]

[sighs]

I sleep like a floppy octopus.

Yep. King size minimum...

[sighs]

[Older Máximo, in English] Julia was just having fun, but suddenly I started

to think about that tiny bedroom on Arenal Street.

[in Spanish] I prefer a small bed.

[chuckles]

You're so far, we can't even spoon!

Yes we can! [chuckles]

I could get used to this.

Sure... but if you're used to it, it stops being exciting. [chuckles]

Isn't it better to aim low so you can really

-appreciate the occasional highs? -[sighs]

Caviar?!

[gasps]

Oh my gosh, how delicious!

I've missed this stuff!

Missed it?

You've had this before?

Yeah, back in Medellín!

I've told you about how fancy my parents are.

[Older Máximo, in English] The more Julia embraced the lap of luxury,

the more I started to worry

our little starter apartment wouldn't be such a dream for her.

[in Spanish] Mmm, little black salt balls...

-Hmm? -[gulps]

-Easy, easy now. -[exclaims]

There we go.

Easy now.

Don't need you killing yourself over this murder.

God, where did that spare key go!

There has to be something we missed in here...

-[sighs] -[sniffing] What's that smell?

-A second body? -[sniffs]

Or maybe just an abandoned fridge?

Or that!

-[gasps] -[groans]

[grunts]

"I will shorten your life."

[Nora] "I will give you strength."

Nora...

If this guy was writing notes to himself

and stuck them on his food

that means...

[sighs] This wasn't a threat at all!

Except maybe to his desserts.

He was just a very health-conscious guy.

I guess he thought the notes would

help him make good choices...

God, I'm such a fool.

Why would you say that, my love?

We solved the case!

Juan must've just fallen and hit his head that night.

But I took you on a wild goose chase.

This was not a wild goose chase at all.

It was fun to have this

little project just for us.

Since we don't get that much time to ourselves these days.

Mmm. It was fun, wasn't it?

It really was. [chuckles]

And you have to admit it's a little funny

that this started just because a dead guy was trying to

stop himself from eating some cake.

We followed an innocent man for three weeks!

-Unbelievable! -[laughs]

We committed fraud to get handwriting samples from the neighbors! [laughs]

I pulled a muscle climbing through the window.

-Oh no! [laughs] -[chuckles]

Oh, baby!

[sighs]

You know, we don't need a whole case

to solve to spend...

well, to spend time together.

Maybe we can just schedule

-some date nights. -Mmm.

Easy.

That have nothing at all to do with murder I suppose?

-Preferably. -[chuckles]

Although, you are my favorite Columbo.

-Aw. -[chuckles]

-And the cutest. -Hmm.

-I'm going to go start dinner. -Mmm.

I'll stay behind to do some stretches.

And to clean up a little.

A lot of gray yogurt in there.

[Nora] Sounds good.

[groans, sighs]

[singing Deniece Williams' "Let's Hear It for the Boy" in Spanish]

[in English] And for you, señorita.

Thanks, Héctor.

You always know just what I like. [chuckles]

A chardonnay on the rocks coming right up, mi reina.

Mi reina?

Mi reina?

[laughs]

Don't let me break up the party, folks.

I thought I was your reina.

Baby, please can we not do this in front of the guests?

Well, I think it's very important we do this in front of the guests

since you're behaving like some piece of man meat at the buffet.

Diane, this is how I make my money.

You've always known that.

Oh, for heaven's sake, if this is about money, I'm happy to give you some.

Absolutely not.

I am proud to make my own money.

I can't believe you would even offer that.

[scoffs] God, forgive me for trying to get you away for just a couple of hours.

What do you mean, "Get me away?"

Oh!

I love the new henna, Diane!

I told you Leticia would hook you up. Hmm?

-[sighs] -So you two were in cahoots.

All of this was orchestrated to push me away

so you could play games with your little girlfriends and Craig.

Well, if you want me gone so badly, fine, no problem.

[Older Máximo] Back at the pool, Julia and I mingled with guests to

find out what was so special about El Alma del Mar.

Although, I was admittedly feeling out of my depth.

You were so right.

You can really taste the top shelf rum in here.

Or can't.

That's when you know it's good. [chuckles]

Wait, don't you want to taste the alcohol?

-Isn't that the point? -[laughs]

Adorable.

Roxanne, just out of curiosity,

out of all the places to stay here in Acapulco,

what made you pick here?

Versus, I don't know, Las Colinas?

Oh, we just went with whatever Leisure magazine recommended.

But I gotta say, the golf course here is world-class.

[chuckles]

Hey, Máximo, what's your handicap?

Oh, no, I'm fine. [chuckles] Everything works.

-Oh. [chuckles] 'Kay. -[chuckles] 'Kay.

Well, the closets here are perfection.

-[groans] -It's only making me wanna shop more

while I'm down here.

Sorry, Darryl. [chuckles]

-Not really. [laughs] -[chuckles]

I love a good closet.

Growing up, my mom used to have the most beautiful walk-in.

I would just go in there and get lost for hours.

Yeah. I dream of having a closet like that.

One shelf for every shoe.

[Older Máximo] As Julia talked about the life she wanted,

the more insecure I felt about the life I could offer her.

[Julia] But you know what I really want?

I want a chaise longue right in the middle of the closet

where I can lay down... [whispers] ...and even take a nap.

That's a bedroom! What you're describing is a bedroom.

Sorry. [chuckles]

Such a boy. He doesn't get it.

You're right. I don't get it.

I don't get any of this.

I need some space.

I'm out of here.

It's just slippery.

Okay, it's faster this way.

[Older Máximo] Although Chad was technically

sampling cocktails for his wedding,

he completely forgot about his covert mission.

[chuckles] Your mom sounds amazing.

It's no easy feat leaving the Dominican Republic

with four kids on your own.

-But she did it to give us a better life. -Wow.

Yeah, my mom did the same thing, um, except she fled Hollywood, so...

a little different.

Only a little.

[chuckles]

I think there's something really special about people raised by single moms.

Yeah, me too.

-[sighs] Ah, I'm such a bozo. -Oh, no, no, no. [chuckles]

Anyway, uh, I hope you and, uh, your fiancée keep us in mind.

I think we can make it a really special day for such an incredible relationship.

Well, define incredible.

Sorry? What do you mean?

Just, you know...

I think this entire... [sighs] ...wedding

is just a bandage on a gaping wound of a relationship.

Honestly, I don't even think we're gonna make it to the altar.

Oh, wow, uh...

Okay, I can handle the cold feet.

[chuckles] Um...

[in Spanish] Let's get another one of these. And make it a double.

[in English] What are you doing? [sighs]

Oh, please, you and I both know this hair is a desperate cry for help.

[sighs] I look ridiculous.

No, you...

Okay, yes you do.

Diane, I am very, very, very sorry.

I should have talked to you instead of making some stupid plan to send you away.

It's just, I...

Look, a huge part of my work is about creating an illusion

that I could be anyone's Latin lover.

But we both know that I'm only one woman's true Latin lover.

-Oh, Héctor, I know that. -Hold still. Please.

Uh. Then, why did you get so mad?

[sighs] It's silly, really,

but when I heard you calling someone else your special name for me...

-[chuckles] -...I was furious.

[sighs] Because the truth is I haven't been feeling very special lately.

Mi amor.

[sighs] Ow!

Okay, I get it, Angélica.

Thank you.

[sighs] I am so sorry, I shouldn't have minimized your job.

And I know I haven't been acting like myself lately.

It's just I lost my hotel,

and I don't know who I am without it.

I don't know what my next act is.

And that's terrifying.

-It's okay to not know what's next. -[sighs]

You're the queen of reinvention.

So whatever it may be, and however long it may take,

I'm here for you...

mi reina.

-[sighs, sniffs] -[chuckles]

Want to keep your beads?

[both chuckle]

[sighs]

[in Spanish] Goodbye, old friend.

I'm glad you died from a fall

and weren't murdered by a psychopath.

[door opens]

Who are you?

I'm Esteban. Juan's neighbor.

Who are you?

Dalia. His daughter.

Oh, excuse me. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Your father was a great man.

Then you obviously didn't know him that well.

I'm just here to grab something.

[chuckles] That's a nice photo of you two.

Ah, yes, when the monster pretended to have a heart.

[Dalia] There you are...

I'm done here. You can toss out the rest.

Just junk.

[in English] Oh, my God! Dalia's the killer.

-Wow. -[sighs]

For someone who worked for the Innocence Project,

you're very quick to accuse.

But Esteban did have a new suspect.

[exclaims] Nope, not there, Sergio, not there.

I don't know, I...

I think we've just both been forcing this relationship from the beginning.

I mean, the whole engagement just feels like a lie. A farce.

But you and Diane

-are high school sweethearts. -[groans]

Diane, she nursed you back to health after your ATV accident.

-Yep. -You and Diane

are about to start trying for a baby.

-Okay, Diane's my mom. -What?

You're marrying your mom?

No! I... [stammers]

...I couldn't think of another woman's name, I...

I'm not marrying anyone.

So what was all this for?

You wasted my afternoon for nothing?

Look, I'm sorry. I really am, I...

I made up my fiancée and the whole story because...

I'm here from Las Colinas trying to figure out why your hotel is so great.

Seriously?

-So everything was a lie? -No! Not everything.

[stammers] As soon as I met you, I-I got so wrapped up in our conversation

that I forgot about my job.

[stammers]

Truth is, Gloria, I-I had such a great day talking to you and I couldn't walk away

from the most interesting person I've met in a long time.

And that's coming from Chad Davies.

Not Doug Dangerfield.

Chad Davies.

Gringos are trouble. [inhales deeply]

Well, you know, I would love to buy you a drink as an apology if you'll allow it.

You sure you can afford it?

Since, you know, you do work at the second best hotel in Acapulco.

[grunts, in Spanish] So good.

Maybe there is a literal secret sauce...

Máximo, what happened back there?

I thought we were having fun.

What happened was this...

It's a key to the apartment across the courtyard.

I was going to ask you to move in with me today.

What?!

You were?

Yeah, but

after hearing about your "dream closets"

and "dream king beds," I started to get worried.

I can't give you that.

Who said I was expecting you to give me that?

The assignment today was to act like guests.

To enjoy this place as guests.

Maybe I got a little carried away with it,

but trust me:

if I wanted some "life of luxury,"

I would've stayed in Colombia with my parents.

But are you really going to be happy

living in a place with three windows?

Total?

I'd be happy living anywhere that's filled with love.

I thought when I became Head of Operations

I'd get everything I dreamed of:

a mansion, with nothing but walk-in-closets.

But I'm not there yet.

Well you will be one day.

You know how I know?

Because I'll be right by your side.

We'll make those dreams come true. Together.

[chuckles]

Starting on Arenal street.

Wait, does that mean you'll...

Of course I'll move in with you.

Well, this calls for a celebration!

Shall we order one of everything?

On Las Colinas?

[Paloma, in English] Wow.

Now I see why you wanted to have this spa day.

[chuckles]

You wanted to look good for when Julia gets here.

What?

No! [stammers] No!

[stammers] These are necessary steps to ensure the quality for guest service...

-Yeah. -Mm-hmm.

-It's totally about Julia, okay. -Mm-hmm.

[clicks tongue] How are my pores? Minimized?

Don't worry, you look great.

Thank you.

-[sighs] -Oh, God.

What?

Wh-What is it? [stammers] I'm a little itchy.

No-Nothing at all.

-[stammers] Not even on the side? -Nope, not even...

[stammers] It's hot to the touch.

I think you look like five years younger than you did earlier.

It's pulsing. I can feel my heartbeat.

-Nope, no big red rash. -[stammers]

Okay.

How about you finish telling me your story?

What I've come to learn is that a good relationship

is about giving your partner the benefit of the doubt.

And allowing them the flexibility

to take you on whatever journey they need.

Hike up your shorts a little more, hot stuff.

Give 'em a show.

[in Spanish] It's perfect.

[laughing]

I'll make a copy of this key for you.

I think there might still be cheese in this one...

Already made a copy.

[kisses]

[squeals]

You know, I was so distracted yesterday that we never

figured out what El Alma's "secret sauce" is.

-[Julia chuckles] -Maybe Chad got lucky...

[in English] Thank you for the tour, Gloria.

I especially loved seeing the honeymoon suite.

It is one of a kind, isn't it?

-Certainly. -[chuckles]

Well, I have your business card should I have any follow-ups.

Mm-hmm.

Wait, what is he doing here?

Oh, that's our consultant.

He's really whipped this place into shape.

You know him?

He's sort of our secret sauce.

Well, oh, it's nothing.

[no audible dialogue]