All language subtitles for le.1999.720p.WETS.MX]

(soft electronic music)

Downloaded from
YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

(exciting magical music)

(magical chiming music)

(exciting magical music continues)

- And earthworms don't have any eyes

and they can grow up to four feet long.

Also, if you cut them in half,

they still wriggle around
for a real long time, watch.

- That's fine, Brenda.

(class groaning)

Very good report.

Okay, let's see, who's next?

Melissa.

The Secret World of Fairies
by Melissa Nightingale.

Since the beginning of time,

they have been called many names,

People in the Hills,
wee-folk, little ones.

- Just a moment.

Melissa, this is science class.

- I know.

- And what is science?

Yes, Brenda?

- The study of observable facts.

- Observable facts.

Now, why do you think scientists
can't observe fairies?

- Because they're too little
and they fly too fast.

(class laughing)

- That's enough.

Melissa, sit down, please.

We'll discuss this after class.

(soft music)

I said sit down.

(class laughing)

I will not put up with
this fanciful nonsense.

- The crickets ceased their chirping,

the owls stopped their hooting,

and a hush fell over the
forest like never before.

Then, the enchanted forest grew very still

and suddenly, there was a
light, a new bright light,

so bright, it was almost dazzling.

- What's dazzling?

- It's a wondrous light, so
brilliant you can barely see.

- Like when they take
our picture at school

and they use a flash?

- Hmm.

Well, it's a bit more magical

than a school photo, sweetheart.

- Got it.

- So, the fairy princess
knew her time on earth

was almost over even
though she wanted to stay.

She began to float higher and
higher right up into the sky

and that night, a new star
appeared in the heavens,

a star so bright, it was almost-

- Dazzling.

- Got it.

- The fairy died in the end.

- Well, fairies don't die, sweetheart.

They become new stars, always up there,

shining, watching over us.

- Do you think there's a
new star up there for mommy?

(soft emotional music)

- I'm sure there is, Melissa.

- Is that why you sometimes
go outside and night

and just stare at the sky?

- Goodnight, my darling.

- [Melissa] Goodnight, daddy.

- She's a great kid.

- Smart, too.

- Fairies Die at Dawn.

Tom?

Fairies Die at Dawn?

- Okay, it's a little dark.

- Dark?

I read it, I put it down,
I wanted to kill myself.

Tom, you're a successful
author of children's books,

you can't have fairies
being squashed like bugs,

you'll drive all of the kids into therapy,

and while we're on the subject-

- What subject?

- Therapy.

- Ben.

- Listen, Tom.

I'm not just your
publisher, I'm your friend,

I'm worried about you.

Now, take a look at yourself,

you haven't been outside
the house for months.

When was the last time you had a shave?

- Probably, oh, I don't know.

- It has been 16 months since Kelly died.

Coincidentally, the same amount of time

since you have actually handed in

anything that I can actually publish,

do you see a connection?

Now, Tommy, it's time you
got your life back onto track

and killing the fairies
that lay the golden eggs

is not the way to do it.

- Well, maybe I should
get a second opinion.

- Am I interrupting something?

- Do you remember my son, Mark?

He's helping me around the office.

- Hello, Mark.

- Hi.

- I thought I asked
you to wait in the car.

- Chill, dad, your mobile rang.

- [Ben] Who was it?

- Some dude named Clancy.

(curious music)

- Tom Clancy?

- Yeah, I told him you'd call back

when you weren't so busy.

Cool book, man.

I really dug the part
where the fairy gets wasted

by the fly swatter.

- It's for the best, trust me.

(car rumbling)

(tires screeching)

(curious music continues)

- Hi, Mr. Nightingale?

- Yes.

- Miranda Martinet.

Melissa's teacher.

I didn't see you at the
parent's conference last week.

- Oh.

I don't get out much.

Do you want me to call Melissa?

- Actually, I came to see you.

- Really?

We can talk in my office, I suppose.

Won't you come in?

- Fine.

- This way.

How about some coffee?

- No, thank you.

I'd rather get straight to the point.

I think there might be a
problem with your daughter.

- Oh.

- Yes, in my opinion, Melissa is,

well, obsessed with fairies.

(soft music)

- On second though, Miss...

Why don't we go into the living room?

Good.

Her obsession.

You were saying?

- Fairies, Mr. Nightingale, fairies.

I think she has an unhealthy obsession.

- Fairies.

Uh-huh.

- Now, I have nothing
against a vivid imagination

especially in a child, but
this was in science class.

(book thudding)

Are you all right?

- Do go on.

(suspenseful melody)

- She seems to always live in
a world of fairies and elves.

- Fairies and elves, yeah?

Anything I can do?

(ornaments chiming)

I've been meaning to get rid of that.

(birds chirping)

(soft music)

(book thudding)
(owl hooting)

- Little Women, how little are they?

- Regular size.

I think it's just time
that we read something...

Without fairies.

- Miss Martinet told you
to do this, didn't she?

- "Little Women," chapter one.

(magical music)

"Christmas won't be Christmas
without any presents,"

grumbled Jo lying on the rug.

"It's so dreadful to be poor," sighed Meg,

looking down at her old dress.

"I don't think it's fair for some girls

to have plenty of pretty things

and other girls nothing at all,

added little Amy with an injured sniff.

"We've got father and
mother and each other,"

said Beth contentedly from her corner.

The four young faces on
which the firelight shone

brightened at the cheerful words,

but darkened again as Jo said sadly,

"We haven't got father
and shall not have him

for a long time."

She didn't say perhaps never,
but each silently added it

thinking of father far away
where the fighting was.

Nobody spoke for a minute.

Then, Meg said in an altered tone,

"You know the reason Mother proposed

not having any presents this Christmas

was because it is going to
be a hard winter for everyone

and she thinks we"-
(Melissa yawning)

Excuse me, are we bored or just tired?

- Bored, I mean, tired, dad, real tired.

- Yeah, I think it's time to go to sleep.

- Goodnight, dad.

- Goodnight, my darling.

But you're not going to
escape "Little Women."

(tense music)
(fairy screaming)

(magical chiming music)

(dog whimpering)

- Great.

(dog barking)

What?

(wings fluttering)
(dog barking)

(suspenseful music)
(dog whimpering)

(knocking on door)

- Daddy!

Someone at the door.

Maybe it's the queen of fairies.

- I doubt it, my life isn't that exciting.

(soft music)

- Hi.

- Good evening.

- I'm one of your biggest fans.

- Well, thank you.

(fairy exhaling)

- Daddy.

Who is it?

- Melissa, honey, it's nobody.

Go back to sleep.

Hello, Ben?

- Yes?
- It's me.

- [Ben] Tom?

(Tom stammering)

(Tom clears throat)
What's the matter,

are you all right?

- No, no, I'm fine, it's just that,

hold on a second, will you?

- [Ben] Tom, are you there?

- I think you'd better come over.

- [Ben] At this hour?

- If you would.

- Tom.
- In fact, definitely,

come over here right now.

Hello, miss?

(fingers snapping)

Do you have a name?

- Crystal.

- Crystal?

- Crystal?

- Excellent.

- And she had no identification?

- Ben, she was naked, where
would she keep her purse?

- We could look for
identifying marks or tattoos.

- All right, here's what we're gonna do.

You'll let her sleep here tonight.

- Here?

- And tomorrow morning,
you're gonna wake her up,

give her a cup of coffee,
and send her on her way.

(magical music)

(Crystal gasping)
(dog barking)

(dog growling)
- Fluffy, stop it.

- [Crystal] No, get it away.

- Or we could take her to
the hospital right now.

- Cool.

- Maybe she could wear this.

- Melissa.

I thought you were asleep.

- She's very pretty.

- All right, we got some night clothes.

Who's gonna put them on her?

- I'm not positive,

but it looks like focal
retrograde amnesia.

- Uh-huh.

Focal what?

- It's commonly known
as temporary amnesia.

She's hit her head, she's lost her memory.

- Great.

If I may, doctor, Crystal,
you must remember something.

What is the last thing you recall?

- I remember sitting on your
couch without any clothes on.

- Amnesia, you were right,

she doesn't know what she's saying.

- Yes, I do,

and then you gave me your
wife's pajamas to wear.

- And how are you feeling now?

- Now?

I feel fine.

- Fine?

She feels fine.

That's all she needs,
is just a little time

to remember who she is.

- That's right.

You don't have to worry about a thing,

you'll be all right in a
couple of days, you'll see.

- Good news, so I'll be off then.

- Thank you.

I'm sorry if I caused any problems.

- Oh, not at all.

In fact, here.

That's me, if you need anything.

- Thank you, I'll manage.

- I think we'll have to
keep her under observation

for a couple of days.

- Is she gonna be all right?

- Crystal?
- Yeah.

- She'll be fine.

Maybe things can start getting
back to normal around here.

- [Melissa] Daddy!

(magical chiming music)

(magic whirring)

(Gnomes muttering)

- How do I look?

- In those clothes, a
right moron, how do I look?

- Just the same.

- You'd think whoever
designs gnome costumes

have a little bit better dress sense.

- Aye.

- I'm gonna call in.

- Okay.

- Oddkin and Bodkin, Fairy Nest,

transition to mortal world
complete, request supply drop,

coordinates Charlie,
three, zero, bravo, six.

I repeat, Charlie, three,
zero, bravo, six, over.

(box whooshing)

(box thudding)

Correction, bravo, seven.

Styrofoam, I hate styrofoam.

That's what I call class.

- [Both] Wow.

(suspenseful music)

- [Collector] Hello, sunshine.

- Who are you?

- You don't remember?

I suppose I should feel
offended, but I don't.

I know who you are.

- You do?

- They call me the Collector.

In exactly one week from today,

you're mine.

(tense music)

(suspenseful music)

(ominous action music)

- This is Bodkin as of 0100 hours.

Yesterday, a fairy failed to report in.

Currently believed to be
about five foot eight,

wingless, large in the world.

- Five foot eight, that's big.

- And wandering among mortals,

our job is to find her and bring her back.

- Hey.

- What do you got?

- Fresh footprints.

Been here, all right.

Most recently.

- All right, let's go.

And what your step, it's horse manure.

(gong thudding)

- Cool it on.

(hospital announcer chattering)

- Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Morning, miss.

- Morning.

- I'm looking for a young lady,

we've reason to believe

that she was brought in her this morning.

- Name?

- Oddkin.

- No, not your name, you
fool, the patient's name.

She's our sister, she's
suffering from amnesia.

- Name?

- We forget.

- She's your sister and you
can't remember her name.

- Amnesia, it runs in the family.

- Ah, there it is.

Trauma unit.

Discharged this morning.

Thank you.

- Thank you, miss.

- Look, Tom, I'm just
trying to make some sense

of the whole thing.

A strange woman appears on your doorstep

in the middle of the night,

she's completely naked,
she faints in your arms,

and you don't think it's odd

she chooses your place to do it at.

- Well, she wasn't completely
naked, she was wearing-

- Yeah, first thing you noticed, right?

(magical chiming music)

- Jack Daniels, no ice?

- No, I'm on duty here,
maybe have it with ice.

- Where'd you find it?

- Slipped my hand under
the cushion on your couch,

sorry, old habit.

You think it's worth anything?

- I doubt it, but maybe
it'll jog her memory.

You can give it to her when you see her.

- You know, I don't believe
this amnesia line for a moment,

she's probably a demented fan

or some kind of New Age wacko,

knocked herself out
dancing naked around those

rocks in your woods.

- They're stones, Druid stones.

- Whatever.

- Jim, look.

I don't know who she
is, where she came from,

or what she's doing here,

but frankly, I don't care

because you see, she's no
longer my problem, she's yours.

(magical music)

- Crystal!

- Hi!

The door was open.

I hope you don't mind, but you said-

- Did they discharge you?

- No.

But I was scared, there was...

- Crystal, excuse me, this is Jim Murdoch.

- Oh, hello.

- Hello.

- It's Chief Inspector Jim Murdoch.

- You're not a collector, are you?

- No, no.

Inspector.

- He's trying to find out who you are.

- I'm not feeling very well,

I think I'm going to be sick.

- Uh-oh, here we go again.

- Oh.
- This way.

(horse whinnying)

- Call me if anything crops up.

In the meantime, I'll check
the missing persons files,

see what we can come up with.

- Good, please do.

- Trust me.

She's either a wacko or a fruitcake.

- Thank you.

- So, how are we doing in here?

- I'm sorry.

- Well, that's not necessary.

This is yours, I believe.
(magical chiming music)

- Oh, I knew I must've left it here.

- So, tell me.

What else do you remember, Crystal?

- Things...

Drift in and out, but nothing makes sense,

everything seems strange, so big and loud.

- I think it's best if I got
you back to the hospital.

- No!

I've got my pendant, that's
all I came for, I'll be fine.

- But you can't go, can she, daddy?

- I don't want to be anymore trouble.

- She's no trouble, is she, daddy?

She can stay, can't she?

She'll feel better tomorrow, won't you?

- We don't have much for dinner.

We're not very big on cooking around here.

- That's all right, I'll do the cooking.

- She'll do the cooking.

(upbeat music)

- Let's do it.

(knocking on door)

- Okay, let's go, you're coming with us.

- Who are you?

- We don't want any trouble,
we know who you are,

so just grab your things,

come quietly back with us to Fairyland.

- And don't even think of flying away.

- No.

(door slams)

- So, she wants to play rough.

(knocking on door)

- Look, if you two perverts,

don't vacate my premises in two seconds,

I am gonna call the cops.

- Oh, really, and what
are they going to do?

- Yeah?

(gate creaking)
(gate thudding)

- Just make yourself at home.

(exciting music)
- Staying long, boys?

- I'm famished.

- So am I.

- What's this?

- Dinner.

- Roses, petunias?

Where's the chicken?

(bell ringing)
(fast-paced music)

- Oh!

I'll clean it up in the morning.

- She'll clean it up, daddy, everything.

(rooster crowing)

(Tom coughing)

(brush scrubbing)

(Tom humming)

(magical chiming music)

- Good morning.

Do you like it?

I couldn't sleep, so I cleaned up.

- Ah!

Thank you.
- Thank you.

- What is it?

- I made it in the...

- Blender?

- What's in it?

- Lots of things.

Peanut butter, cherries, dandelions,

milk, and cherry pits,

and some yellow stuff that was in a jar.

- She likes to make things in the kitchen.

- I'll make some more.

- Tell me you found out something.

- I've checked with everyone I know.

Everyone I know knows
nothing, she's a phantom, Tom,

a woman without a past.

Look on the bright side,

she's an interesting woman.

- To you, she may be interesting,

but to me, the word is weird.

It's like she's from another planet.

I mean, she's smart, she's funny.

- She's beautiful.

- But she's weird.

- This isn't bad.

- Steady.
- Steady.

(hand thudding)
(intense magical music)

- That would be cheating.

(keys thudding)

- The Collector.

- What are you doing here?

- Can't an old friend stop by for a visit?

- Who says you're a friend?

- Yeah?

- Then consider this a little warning.

Stay away from the fairy
who calls herself Crystal.

She's mine.

- You know the rules, you
can't touch her unless we fail.

- And we've still got five days left.

- Five days, one hour, and
37 minutes to be exact.

Why make things difficult for yourselves?

Enjoy a few days in the mortal world,

see a movie, eat a few cheeseburgers.

- No chance, besides, you don't scare us.

- Nah.

(Oddkin blowing raspberries)

(intense music)

- [Collector] Why not?

Enjoy your time in jail.

- Oh, yeah, well, we're
getting out of here.

- Yeah, and when we do-
- No, you're not.

(intense music)

I've arranged for your
stay to be a little longer.

(magic whirring)

- What have you done?

(fax beeping)

(ominous music)

(car rumbling)
(horn sounding)

- I am so embarrassed.

Why didn't you tell me who you are?

Tom Nightingale, of course,
your daughter loves fairies.

I baked you cake.

- You shouldn't have.

- They told me everything at the school,

I hope you don't mind.

A successful author and

recently widowed,

oh, Tom, it hasn't been easy.

- Well.

- I, too, have known
the loss of a loved one.

- Your husband.

- My cat Pookie.

Oh, Tom, I know what it's like.

You and Melissa up here on your own,

you must get terribly lonely.

- Hi, daddy, hi, Ms. Martinet.

- Hello, sweetheart.

- Hi.

- I think we spent all your money.

- Oh.

This is Ms. Minuet.

- Martinet.

- Hi.

- And you are?

- I'm staying in Tom's bedroom

until we find out who I am.

- She's from out of town.

Crystal, why don't we take
the parcels in, shall we?

(owls hooting)

(Tom snoring)

- Daddy.

Daddy!
- What?

- Crystal is gone!

- About time.

- Daddy, you don't mean that, I saw her,

she's walking into the woods.

(soft music)

- Druid stones.

One of the reasons I bought the property.

How did you know they were here?

- I didn't.

- It's said they possess
some sort of magical powers.

- Maybe they'll help me remember who I am.

It's strange.
- What is?

- Everything seems familiar yet

different.

It's almost as if...

- As if what, go on.

- As if I belong here.

I'm scared, Tom.

I'm trying to remember, but
everything's so confused.

There's something else,
something evil following me,

everywhere, even now, I
can feel its presence.

- Crystal.

- I don't have much time.

- What do you want for breakfast?

- Hmm?

- Okay, one more time.

- Come sit down on this bed flowers.

I stick roses on your bed
and kiss your great big ears.

- Where's Peaseblossom?

- Here I am.

- Scratch my head, Peaseblossom,
where's Mr. Cobweb?

(Miranda clapping)

- All right, children,
it's looking very good.

Remember, dress rehearsals in two days.

- Well done, sweetheart.
(soft tense music)

- You were wonderful.

- Hello, Tom.

Crystal.

- "A Midsummer Night's
Dream," interesting choice.

- Yes, I know, fairies.

Well, I never said I had
anything against them,

just not in science class.

Besides, Melissa makes
a splendid Peaseblossom.

Do you know Shakespeare, Crystal?

- No, I haven't met him yet.

(Tom chuckles)

- Well, we better get going.

- Oh, Tom, could I have
a minute in private?

Have a seat.

Now, Tom.

I know you're a very private person,

but there is something I
have to discuss with you.

How long have you known her?

- Four days, I suppose.

- And what do you know about her?

- She has amnesia.

- Good.

And what was she wearing
when you first saw her?

- Wearing?

Nothing.

- Exactly.

Now, who showed up at your house

the day after she arrived?

- You did?

- Come on, Tom, you know this.

- The police.

- Yes.

Crystal plus amnesia plus nude

plus police divided by four equals...

Danger, Tom.

Danger.

Oh, sure.

I can understand why you
might find her attractive,

but trust me, Tom.

It won't last.

What you need is someone stable.

You need

is someone who understands you,

someone who knows Shakespeare,

someone who can educate
you in lessons of love.

- Miss Martinet.

- Please, call me Miranda.

(chair thudding)

- Hi, are you going...

- We can explain.

I can explain.

(door thuds)

(soft music)

These are for you.

- No, thanks, I'm not hungry.

- I can see your upset.

- Upset?

Why should I be upset?

- Well, I think

what you thought you saw

wasn't what you think you
thought you were seeing.

- You mean, Ms. Martinet.

I'm not upset about Ms. Martinet.

- You're not?

- No, I just assumed it was the custom

for single men to fall onto the floor

and touch lips with
their daughter's teacher

in science class.

- Oh, is that what I did?

Fine, really, well, while
we're talking about me,

maybe we can discuss you afterwards.

- What about me?

- You can't seem to keep your hands

off any man who comes near you.

- Hello, chief inspector,
how are you, chief inspector,

so nice to see you, chief inspector,

and the waiter and that cab driver.

- I was just being friendly.

Maybe you should try it sometime.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- There's a whole world out there, Tom,

a real world with real people

and you're locked away in your study

with all your fairies and your elves.

- Have you got something
against fairies and elves?

Those fairies and elves
put food on the table

and yes, to write my books,
I have to stay in my study,

but you don't like my study.

Fine, then stay out of it.

- I will.

- Why stop there?

Why don't you stay out of my bedroom?

That way, I won't have to
sleep on the couch, you can,

and stay out of my kitchen,

and then of course,

I won't have to suffer

through another night of flowers al dente

and while we're about it,

why don't you just stay out of my life?

(frame thudding)
(glass shattering)

(somber melody)

Crystal!

(tires squealing)

Crystal!

Come back!

Crystal!
(water rushing)

(Tom panting)

- Why did you follow me?

- Well, for one, you took my car.

- Oh.

- Also.

I wasn't sure, quite frankly,
that you knew how to drive.

- Well, it's not that hard,

you put your foot in the square thing

and you turn the big circle.

- The steering wheel, right?

- Look.

Crystal.

Why don't you let me take you back

and I'll give you a lesson in the morning,

how does that sound?

- Is that your wife?

In the photograph.

- Yes.

- You loved her very much.

- Yes.

Yes, I did.

- Do you think there's someone out there

that could ever love me that much?

You know, it's almost funny,

in a different way, we
have the same problem.

You can't forget and I can't remember.

(Crystal gasps)

Woops.

- Whatever you do, don't let go.

Okay, when I count to three,

you're going to climb up the wall.

One.

Two.

Three.

(soft music)

- Can I ask you a question?

- Yeah.

- When you park a car,

how do you make sure it stays
exactly where you put it?

- You use the handbrake.

- Oh.

(car creaking)

(Crystal and Tom laughing)

(intense music)

- I used to like this job.

Time was a fairy would come
down to the real world,

have a few fun days, then we'd
take them back, no big deal.

- Things have changed.

Fairies like it here, they
don't want to go home.

In fact, wouldn't mind staying here

for a little while myself.

- We're in jail, you numskull.

- I mean, when we get out.

- And we are getting out.

If the Collector thinks
he's going to beat us,

he's got another thing coming,
two can play at this game.

- Careful not to wake her.

- Shh!

(energetic music)

(electricity crackling)

- Hello, big boy.

(ominous music)

- How did you find me?

- Sooner or later, I find all of you.

- I'll go back with you.

- I'm afraid it's too late for that.

(ominous music)

(magic whirring)
(woman screaming)

(beads jingling)

- Anybody there?

Who are you?

Hey, what you think you're doing?

It's all right.

There's no rush.

Stay as long as you like.

(buckles clicking)

- Sorry for the mix-up, boys,

looks like someone's been messing
around with our computers.

You're free to go.

Just don't let me see you back here again.

- Told you we were innocent.

(magical chiming music)

- [People] Surprise.

(people cheering)
(people laughing)

- Isn't it wonderful, daddy?

It was Crystal's idea.

A surprise birthday party with
characters from your books.

- Happy birthday.

(uptempo music)

- Happy birthday, you old devil.

- Cheers.

- You look like a new man.

What's your secret?

- Oh.

(uptempo music continues)

- Wow, these are
delicious, what's in them?

- Oh, these, they're
daffodil hearts, tree sap,

and sun-dried snail shells.

- Cool.

- Happy birthday, Tom.

My offer still stands, call me.

- What do you think?

- I get a definite family values vibe.

- Just hope he still finds time to write.

- Daffodil heart?

- Oh, boy, it's a
freaking fairy convention.

- Yeah.

- Sis, is that really you?

- Sis!

- Sis?

- Sis, mom and dad's been
worried sick about ya,

but now we've found you and
we're a family again, let's go.

- Crystal, you going somewhere?

Wait a minute, excuse me, what's going on?

Who are these individuals?

Do you even know them?

- Of course she knows us, we're from...

- Fairy-

- Very far away, very far
away from here, see ya.

- Hang on, wait a minute, hey,
you're not going anywhere.

Let go, let go of her.

- Let go of her.

- Yeah, this is family business.

- What is this, a joke?

- You two!

(Crystal thudding)
(glass shattering)

- [Both] Uh-oh.

- Other than that,

I thought it was a really good party.

- You would.

- Hey.

Five more minutes, Fluffy.

(suspenseful music)

(soft music)

- Daddy.

Guess what?

You're not going to believe this?

- I remember everything.

- Ben.
- Hm?

- You're not going to believe this?

She's a fairy.

- Don't you mean she's
still wearing her costume?

- No, no, no, forget about the costume.

Crystal is a fairy.

- Oh, you mean, she's like gay.

- No, Mark, I mean that she's
an honest to goodness fairy.

- What do you mean, like Tinkerbell?

And she...

- You've got it.

- (laughs) You really had
me going there for a minute.

- Tom.

Are you telling us that
Crystal is a real live fairy

with magical powers?

- Precisely.

- Tom, I begged you to get therapy.

- Aren't fairies supposed
to be like this big?

- Listen.

She was floating around in my back garden

and she hit her head on a tree

and she automatically grew to life-size.

Now, this apparently is a
fairy fail-safe mechanism

and that the pendant that
she wears around her neck,

that is the source of
all of her magical power,

and that is not all, Ben.

Remember those two little men

that came to the party last night?

- Crystal's brothers.

- They're not her brothers.

They are Oddkin and Bodkin,
they're my garden gnomes.

They're really private detectives.

They've come here to take
her back to Fairyland.

They don't like it when
fairies try to leave.

- We believe you, Tom.

- You do?

- Yes, of course.

In fact, if we go inside,

perhaps we can get Crystal

to show us a little of her fairy magic.

- Okay, but her powers are
a little weak right now,

so don't expect too much.

- Oh, we won't.

(soft enchanting music)
(magic whirring)

- [Tom] You've been gone a long time.

- I like this place.

It's a good place to think.

- I didn't know fairies could cry.

You know, you may be more
mortal than you think.

Crystal.

I want you to stay here
with me and Melissa.

We could be together.

- [Crystal] I can't.

- Of course you can, why not?

- Don't you think I want to?

Tom, I love you.

I'd do anything to be
with you and Melissa,

but I'm out of time, I've got to go back.

- Well then, just tell your
friends you're staying.

- It's not that simple, there are rules.

- Then use your power.

- All the magic in the
world can't help me now.

- [Tom] Crystal.

- No, you don't understand,
you could be in danger.

If I don't go back with Oddkin
and Bodkin by tomorrow night,

he'll come for me.

- Who will?

- The Collector?

- And who is he?

Who's the Collector?

- Good news, boys, you're getting out,

someone posted your bail.

- Oh, yeah, who?

- [Both] Tom!

- Fries?

- No, thanks.

- Are you gonna eat that pickle or what?

- Why, do you want it?

- No, I don't like pickle.

- Then why do you want to know

what I'm going to do with me pickle?

- (clears throat) Excuse me.

The deal was I was to supply
you with cheeseburgers,

you in turn would answer my questions.

- Okay, go on, man, shoot.

- Good.

First off, is it possible for a fairy

to stay in the mortal world?

- I suppose you mean Crystal.

- Of course.

- She'll be lucky if
they let her back again.

Oh, I see.

- What?

- He's in love with her.

- You think so?
- Yeah, look.

Look at his face, it's
written all over his face.

- Oh, yeah.

(both laughing)

- Question number two,
who is the Collector?

The Collector, who is he?

- Don't even think about it.

Nobody stops the Collector.

He's the bounty hunter
from the World of Darkness

and when he goes after a missing
fairy, he never gives up.

Sorry, kid, if Crystal's
not back by tomorrow night,

when the moon's at its zenith,

the Collector will find her
and reduce her to essence

and let me tell you for
a fairy that means death.

- But there must be a way.

- There is.

- Quiet, you birdbrain.

- What are you saying?

- Don't listen to him,
he's full of fairy dust.

Okay, okay, okay, okay,
look, look, look, look,

look, hang on, there is
supposed to be a ritual

where a fairy can be turned into a mortal,

but it's dangerous and
that's all I know, honest.

- Thank you.

I owe you one.

(soft music)

- You gonna eat that pickle or what?

- No, I'm gonna dance with it.

- All right, are you ready?

- I certainly am.

- Presenting one of the leading
lights in school theatre,

the star of "A Midsummer Night's Dream,"

Miss Melissa Nightingale.

- Ta-Da.

How do I look?

- Wow.

Come here.

Oh, my.

(Melissa giggles)

Two of the most beautiful
fairies in the world

and they're with me.

- I don't know.

Something seems to be missing.

I've got it.

(magical music)
(Melissa gasps)

- It looks just like the real one.

I love you.

Come on, Crystal, hurry.

- I don't want to leave you.

- I'll meet you at the school, trust me.

(fast-paced music)

Good, you're right on time.

What do we got here?

- Good luck tonight.

- You're supposed to say break a leg.

- Why would I want you to break your leg?

- You never say good luck
to an actor, it's bad luck.

Don't worry,

you have plenty of time to
learn about these things,

I'll teach you.

- Melissa.

There's something I have to tell you.

- [Miranda] (claps hands) Okay,
everybody, backstage please.

- I've got to go, can we talk later?

- Sure, I love you.

Break your leg.

(fast-paced music)

- I think I've got it.

Listen to this.

According to Celtic legend,

a fairy can indeed become mortal.

There has to be an
ancient ceremony performed

on the night of the full moon.

- That's tonight.

- It has to take place in a sacred place,

something mystical.

- The Druid stones.

- Here's a list of what you might need,

some wild herbs, bark, candles.

- This is extraordinary, I can do it all.

- There's more.

For the spell to truly work,

the fairy has to perform
a selfless act of love.

- Selfless act of love.

We'll have to figure that one out.

- Tom. there's one more thing, man.

According to this, if
the fairy becomes mortal,

she loses all her magical powers.

- That's fine.

- And her memory, she won't
remember anyone or anything,

even the person she loves.

(soft tense music)

(magic whirring)

(fun uptempo music)

- Sh, sh!

10 seconds.

Curtain.

(object reeling)

(audience clapping)

Music.

(audience laughing)

(soft music)

(audience chuckling)

Get off, get off.

(audience and students laughing)

(audience applauding)

(students laughing)

- Let's go!

(steam whooshing)
(soft tense music)

(ominous music)

(fast-paced music)

Away, fairies, away, we
cannot stay here any longer.

- Sweet fairy queen,

we shall return at a
better place and time.

- Yes, a better place, a
better time than now or here

where we'll find the day
lurks inside the gloom,

if I may speak my mind,
but hurry now, away begone.

Oh, woodland creatures, everyone.

- Farewell, farewell, we'll meet-

- It's time.

- Sorry.

(soft emotional music)

- Farewell, farewell,
no longer must we dwell.

(audience applauding)

- Brenda, that's your cue, okay.

- Melissa.

I'm going back.

- Now?

- I have to.

(fast-paced music)

(soft tense music)

- What an enchanted evening this has been.

- If we shadows have offended,

think, but this, all is mended.

Farewell.

(audience applauding)

(intense music)

(magic whooshing)
(audience gasps)

(audience applauding)

- Daddy, I flew.

- I saw you, my darling.

You were flying.

- Still don't believe in fairies?

- I don't understand, you didn't go back.

- I couldn't, Melissa needed me.

- Well, we're both very, very grateful.

(ominous music)

(Crystal gasps)

What's the matter, Crystal?

- [Melissa] Daddy, let's go.

- No, we're going this
way, quick march, come on.

Crystal, let's go.

(thunder rumbling)
(ominous music)

Come on, hurry.

You okay?
- Yes.

(ominous music continues)

(branch scraping)

(tense music)
(thunder rumbling)

(magic whooshing)

- You puny little man,

you dare to challenge the
might of the Collector?

- Leave him alone.

I'm the one you want.

- Crystal.

Yes, you are.

This won't take long.

- Don't you ever give up?

- Yeah, you're just our size.

Collect this.

(punches thudding)

- [Both] Uh-oh.

(intense music)

- Time to go home, Crystal.

- No, don't you hurt her.

- Now, what do we have here?

Two for the price of one.

(magic whooshing)
- Melissa!

- No!

(Tom grunting)

(magic whooshing)

- Smash the pendant.

- No!

(pendant exploding)

No!

(magic whooshing)

- Daddy, do something.

- Crystal.
(soft music)

Crystal.

Crystal.

You mustn't leave us.

- Magic.

Never

stop

believing.

(magical chiming music)

♪ With all the gnomes are doing
this morning just that one ♪

♪ Yes, the gnomes and pixies
and elves and goblins ♪

♪ Gentle fairies, kind
elfmen, come join us today ♪

♪ They're polishing their little
boots, each and every one ♪

♪ La-la-La ♪

♪ Gentle fairies, kind
elfmen, come join us ♪

- Ms. Martinet?

We need to speak.

- Headmaster, oh, it's wonderful.

Oh!

Hello.

Oh, it's wonderful, I see,
fairies are real, did you know?

- Yes.

- Yeah, do you?

You don't understand I've seen them.

I've seen them, they're everywhere.

- Mad, quite mad.

(soft music)

I hear it's your biggest selling
book yet, congratulations.

- Well, thank you.

- [Brenda] Hi, Melissa.

- Hi, Brenda.

- Have you heard the news?

We've got a new science teacher.

- Where?

(swelling emotional music)

- Crystal!

(door thudding)

Daddy!

- Tom?

Are you all right?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

Wait a minute.

Crystal, you said Tom, you know who I am.

(Crystal laughing)

- I have a feeling this is
going to be a really great year.

- Boy, did we break all the rules.

Not only did we give her back her magic,

we also gave her back her memory.

- Well, you know me, a
sucker for a happy ending.

- Yeah, me too.

Well, what are we gonna do now?

Go back to Fairyland?

- No.

Tell you what,

let's go for a couple of cheeseburgers.

- What a splendid idea.

Lead on, sir.

My tummy awaits.

- You and your tummy, Oddkin.

(uptempo music)

You know, I've just been thinking,

a couple of smart guys like us

could probably start our
own detective agency.

- Yeah.

- A small office,

a dame to answer the phone,

and ba-da-bing, we're in business.

- Yeah.

The Oddkin-Bodkin Detective Agency.

- Oh, no, I was thinking more

Bodkin and Associates.

- Who's the associate?

- Well, you.

- Me, why me, why am I the associate?

- It's a very important
position being an associate,

you'll nearly earn as much money as me.

- Hey, hey, hang on a
minute, hang on, hang on,

that's not right, you know?

- [Bodkin] Why?

- Well, I'm an inch taller than you.

- [Bodkin] Well, size has
nothing to do with it.

I mean, you're wider than me.

- Hey, that's it, bring
my stomach into it.

- It's not me who eats three
cheeseburgers all at once.

- [Oddkin] Yeah, but
what about that pickle?

- [Bodkin] But you don't like pickles.

- [Oddkin] I know I don't like pickles.

- [Bodkin] Then why do you
have to keep talking about

pickles all the time?

- [Oddkin] Tell me when.

- [Bodkin] Look, Oddkin.

You stick with me and the
world will be your oyster.

- [Oddkin] Ugh, I don't like oysters.

- [Bodkin] Ugh, get
that cricket bat, go on.

We'll have a game over here, come on.

Come on.

Now, here we go now.

See the little dog, there we go.

Seriously, Oddkin, get it.
- I'm not getting that.

- [Bodkin] Oh, come
on, don't give me that,

you're going after it.

- [Oddkin] I'd never get there.

(soft uptempo music)

(exciting music)

(soft electronic music)