All language subtitles for UnREAL.2015.-.S01E10.-.Future.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.x265.Celdra_track3_[eng]

* What drives me to my man

* Earthly or divine
or otherwise *

* Is no business of mine

* You wasted my time

* You wasted my time

* Deep down,
I never did feel right *

* Even now, sometimes...

Jesus!

Chet?
Yeah.

Hey.
* ...that feeling's a lie

What are you doing here?

Well, I could ask you
the same thing.

Dan got 2C-E.

It's like a designer drug,
and we took it.

We were clowns for...
Not the funny kind.

I was on the ceiling.

Uh, I liked it.

That sounds very special,

and I'm sorry that I
wasn't there to point and laugh.

Do you know where Rachel is?

Uh, well...
she was on the ceiling.

You know what?

Listen, uh, I need to go finish

writing the scripts
for the wedding.

Hey, you want to come home
and we'll, uh, spoon you.

I would love to do that,
but not tonight.

And you have stuff
all over your face, so no.

I've got to go
finish the finale.

Okay.
Okay.

Come on, boo, let's get food,
jerky. You want jerky?

* A heart long-desperate, oh,
for just a little bit *

Hey!
Stop, for a minute.

Where the hell
do you think you're going?

* A heart long-desperate, oh,
for something I had all along *

* I don't need your love

* I don't need your love

* I don't need you
to understand *

* I need you to listen

Cheers, thank you.

Hi, I'm, uh... God, I'm so sorry
I'm late. I was just packing.

Uh, I got kind of emotional,

but I am just so ready
for some new skin, you know?

Hi.

You okay?

Uh, not really.

Okay.

Rachel, uh...

I'm so sorry.
I can't do this.

What?

Listen,
I meant everything I said.

But I had a chance
to think about this,

and this thing we have...
It's heroin.

It'll burn out
and leave one of us

dying alone in a bar in Paris,

and... I can live with that
if it's me, but not you.

Not to mention the fact
that if we leave right now,

we're gonna hurt
a lot of people, Rachel.

Holy shit, Adam,

I just burned my entire life
down because you begged me to.

I know, I know, but, Rachel,
you are so compelling.

Oh, my God.

Look, I made a commitment,
and I have to grow up.

I'm honoring my promise.

What about the promise
that you made me?

Or did you just sober up?

Rachel,
you mean everything to me.

You do.

But we're not good for us.

Okay, I got it.

Cab!

Rachel, Rachel...
Cab!

Wait, Rachel!
Cab!

Go get me some coffee.

Oh, good boy.

Don't... not now.
Oh, yes now.

You should be on your knees
thanking God that I found you

before you made the biggest
mistake of your life,

and that's saying something.

I just ruined her.

Oh, please.

Rachel does that just fine
on her own.

I want you to understand
I'm not a monster.

Okay. And neither are you.

Rachel can seduce anybody.

That's why I'm here...
To protect her from herself.

So, you're welcome.

Thank you.

Are you giving me
a wedding or what?

Fine, yeah.

But if we're gonna do this,
let's do it right.

I want to go to London
and do it there.

Love it.
Done.

Perfect. Are you okay, though,

with Rachel still being
your producer?

No, I'm good. Thank you.
I'll produce myself.

Okay, well, then...

You better start
by apologizing to Anna.

Waking up alone?
Not a sexy move.

Uh.
Hi.

Thought you might need this.

You decided to come back, huh?

Yeah, I'm so sorry
about that. I, uh...

Yeah, I woke up
in the middle of the night,

and you were gone
with a lot of your stuff,

so I figured I should
just come back here.

Okay, look, um...

I've been trying to figure out
what's real here, you know?

Yeah.
This whole thing's stupid

and getting married on live TV.

We hardly know each other.

Yeah, it's legitimately mental.

Right?

Look, last night was amazing.
You know that, right?

Really?
Yes.

Look, can we just...

Can you hang in there for me?

For a little while longer?

Come here.

What part of "get coffee"
do you not understand?

Oh! Hello, Brad.

Actually, this is Molly
calling on behalf of Brad.

Oh, well, hello,
Molly calling on behalf of Brad.

Yeah, I just
wanted to let you know

that Brad had to cancel
your pitch.

Cancel?

Well, but we just personally
confirmed it last night.

Hey, Quinn.
Stop.

I-I-I cleared my schedule,
so...

I know.
I'm sorry.

Well,
can he r-reschedule again?

I mean, when... when...
When is he available again?

I'm not sure.

We're gonna have to
get back to you on that.

Oh, so, in other words, "never."

'Cause that's what you just said
in Hollywood-speak.

I'm so sorry. Can I put you
on hold for one minute?

It's fine, actually, I'm fine.

Take care and just tell Brad
I send my best.

Okay, Quinn,
they need you on set.

Just leave me alone.

I told her.

Oh.
This should be fun.

What the hell, Longstocking?

Well, Chet and Dr. Wagerstein
are here to make sure

that you don't push me
into doing something

that I don't want to do.

Um, pretty sure Chet
took care of that already.

No, he didn't.

That was all consensual.

Aw, that is so sweet.

Did you have to Google that word
after Chet fed it to you?

You know, try and say it again,

except faster
and maybe you can spell it.

You know, con-sens-u...
Leave the girl alone.

The bottom line
is that lawsuit would damage her

and benefit you.

You know that.
Oh, really?

She just came to that
all on her own?

Yeah, I did. Please,
stop talking.

You know what, Chet?
She is a child, okay?

You cannot expect her
to tell the truth

with you sitting here
dawdling on your...

I'm not a child.

I'm a producer.

Excuse me?

Madison's gonna be
your new field producer,

and you need to write
Dr. Wagerstein into the show.

You know,
more Dr. Phil-type moments.

Get out.
Go!

No, you stay.

So, this is why Brad is
suddenly "unavailable" forever?

What, you got to him
and you poisoned the well.

You know,
that is career assassination.

And bringing rape charges against
me, that's... that's not?

Come on, what are you doing?
We're engaged.

I caught you getting your knob
polished by a teenager.

Whatever.
She's a mouth.

Yes, maybe I could have been
a little more prudent.

Oh, good God, Chet.

You want me begging
every time I get a boner?

I'd be mauling you
five times a day.

You know who I am.

Yes, I do.

And I thought maybe you could
keep getting your happy endings

while I was out of town,

but banging a kid
that works for me?

That is hideous.

First of all, it was a blow job,
and it was an accident.

Oh, was I?

'Cause she was me 15 years ago.

Right?

So, now I'm the wifey...

and you need a new side piece.

All right, sure, yeah.

Madison's an idiot, but so was I
when we started fooling around.

Quinn...
Oh, my God.

I think that I actually

started to believe the crap
that we sell here.

What?

Love.

Without hookers or teenagers
or anything but me.

That's what I thought we had...
True love.

Yeah.

Just get out of here.

Rachel!

I've been looking for you.

I think Adam blew it last night,
and I don't mean literally.

I heard Adam bailed on her.

I mean, I think
I have an opening, right?

What do you think?
Oh, my God.

You should totally go for it.

That's what I'm thinking...
Go big or go home, right?

Well, you look like
a million bucks.

You know what?
Save it.

Two things... one, screw you
for trying to blackmail me,

and two, I'm gonna let it go
if you help me out.

With what,
Ms. Certifiable?

I want to produce
the greatest finale

in "Everlasting" history.

So, Adam proposes,
she says "yes,"...

ah, it's a dream come true.

And then the wedding.

Right, we invite Adam's friends

or whatever family members don't
hate his guts. So, probably nobody.

Probably, but I can try.

And we just blow it all up?

Live from London.

I mean, it's gonna be a hit
in the ratings, I promise you.

But, I mean, given the,
uh, Lady Gaga make up

and the muddy dress,

I'm assuming there's some kind
of personal motivation here?

Mm-hmm, well,
I fell for it

because Adam said
that I won... me.

Wow.

Yeah, and then...
light of day changed his mind.

Of course, I mean, I have, like,
a real guy and a real life,

and I...
Who? Jeremy?

Whatever, you can salvage that.

I got to show you something.

Just hold on.

You think you're an idiot?

Wedding mags, all tabbed.

It's humiliating, right?

Quinn as
the pretty-pretty princess

with her drug-addict,
married prince.

Mm.

I mean, and then
I found the fat jerk

getting a blow job from Madison.

And I really...
I thought I had him cornered.

I did.

But then that lucky bastard
found out and ran an end game

and so now I am dead
at the network,

and, shocker, stuck here.

Oh, well, no.
I mean, maybe not.

There's got to be a way
to show him up in front of Brad.

I mean,
we're talking about Chet.

Right.

Right?
Right.

You think you got it
all locked up, but I heard

that Adam was missing
from someone's bed this morning.

Oh, no,
we talked about that already.

Oh, really?

He took a walk.

He couldn't sleep
because he was so excited.

And then he apologized for
not being there when I woke up.

I'll e-mail her.
Tell Paige I got mono.

Send it to me.
I promise you I'll sign it.

What's up, Jer?

Hi.

Rach, what the hell?

I've been texting you like all day.
I am so sorry.

I-I-I-I did not mean
to worry you this morning.

They just called me.

It was like an early morning
prep session, but...

I-I'm sorry
about that note.

What note?

What did it say?

Did you not get it?

No.

I-It was just like
one of those, like,

stupid,
girly freak-out notes.

It was stupid, but, um,
everything's fine now, so...

You're a freak.

Okay, let's hustle, people.

Rolling in five.

Anna, Grace, welcome.

Soon enough,
Adam will drop to his knee

and ask one of you
the question of a lifetime.

But first, joining us today

is renowned San Francisco
wedding stylist Lydia Trask.

Clap.

Adam told me he's always wanted
a traditional English wedding,

so I'm thinking
Princess Di, Grace Kelly.

The dress should be
less about Adam's family

and stuffy traditions

and more about the new life

that Adam and I
are gonna have together.

I've pictured this moment
for a really long time.

You look gorgeous.
Thank you.

Maybe...

We have a problem.

Just bring it in
a little bit tighter.

Tighter?

How many times you gonna have to
barf to make that fit?

Britney?

What the hell...
What are you doing here?

Rachel,
why the hell is Britney here?

Get her out, please.

This is your idea, isn't it?
She got cut after episode one.

That's not... Britney,
you can't do that, okay?

What is happening?
Britney's here.

Turn around.

You're a producer, go
figure it out. Oh.

Oh, I love this one.

You can't just step onto my set.

I'm sorry. You mean like your boss,
Chet, invited me to last night?

Do you want me to go get him

and explain that you're trying
to screw me over again?

Chet?
That's right.

Chet.

So, stop looking at me
with those watery turd eyes

and get me
a damn wedding dress, bitch.

Did you know
that Chet was doing this?

No!
God, no, I didn't.

Guys, come on.
Why is she touching the dresses?

Copy. Oh, she's a cheap
stunt, not a bride.

I mean, bringing back
the bad girl? They never win.

She better not win, all right?

Because that is a loose cannon
that we cannot control.

I know, I know. It's Doodie O'Clock.
You got to make a big poop.

Britney?! Seriously?
Right?

'Cause we got to tease out
all the crazy for London,

and I thought, "Let's do something
really Gonzo this season,

totally left field,
like right field, wrong field."

Come on, Bubba.

Except for the fact
that we've already done it

in three different seasons,

so don't break your arm trying
to pat yourself on the back.

We have?

Yes, we have.
I did not know that.

I may have been high
when I called her.

You know that all that partying
is gonna kill you, right?

Yeah, but what a way to go.

You know, I've been...

meaning to return this.

You sure?

Quinn.

Look, even with all the crap
that we've been through,

we still managed to make a show,

so let's just
make a great finale.

Are we good?

Always.

Booboo... Booboo!

Come on. Come on.

So, let's cut to the chase.

This is a television show,
that's all.

Do you think
America's gonna want to tune in

to watch you
and Anna-rexia paint a fence?

It's just so boring.

Pick me and we'll do it
till you're cross-eyed,

and then when the show's over
and you break it off,

the audience will be with you,

'cause I'm just
a hot-blooded Latina temptress

with a banging body
and a sexy bikini line

that will get a lot of exposure.

Sounds intriguing.

Mm.

You already know
what my mouth can do.

Imagine what the rest of me
feels like.

That would be great.
Thank you.

Hey, I don't know if you heard.
Britney is back.

As in Britney, episode one,

she stuck her tongue
down your throat.

Oh, right, yeah, yeah.

Right, so anyways,
it's Chet's big idea.

I'm just thinking that
we're gonna say something like

you regret that you let her go so
soon, you love an underdog, and...

Dude, please, seriously,
come on. We're stuck with her.

Help me out.
Yeah, no, no.

I'll... I'll... I'll make...
I'll make it work, yeah.

Okay.
Listen, uh, Rachel...

I just feel that we need
to maybe, 'cause...

Don't.
It's okay.

No hard feelings.

Really?

I promise.

We have a wedding to plan
in London.

Yeah, no, absolutely.

Thank you so much. Yeah, I'm
I'm in, I'm in, yeah.

Okay, so I just want to assume
that it's gonna be Anna.

Uh, actually, um... Oh?

I just had a candid
conversation with Grace,

I'm starting to think I might
go with the other option.

Yes, well, I called it,
I just want to say, day one.

No, you didn't.
The bikini model.

She just...
No, she accepts me

for the selfish manwhore
that I am.

All right, that's okay.

I will make sure that
we feature her moving forward.

So we're okay?
We're... we're good?

We're 100%.

Okay.

Welcome back to the show.

It's very nice to be back.

Hey.
Hey.

Your hair looks different.
Uh, it's called ombre.

I just found out
that Adam's picking, uh, Grace.

Huh.
Mm-hmm.

But I can turn Grace, too.
It's fine.

I think we're right on schedule.

Okay, good.
All right. How's this?

I'm completely lovable.

She's a train wreck.

But she's Chet's train wreck.

Thank you.
Here you go.

Hey.
This looks nice.

It's cozy.
Mm-hmm.

So, Adam told me.

Good news travels fast.

Okay, Grace, listen, I know
that you want to win the show,

and I think... actually, it
would actually be really great,

but I-I'm just telling you this
as a friend...

Okay, the thing is
that Adam is...

Gonna propose to me
and I'm gonna say yes.

Even though
he's sleeping around?

Not a problem.

Well, even though
he's sleeping with me?

We had sex last night...
Dirty sex.

He almost left the show for me.

But he didn't.

Okay, look,
I'm just telling you, okay,

the guy is a manipulator,
he is a slut,

he is gonna end up humiliating
you one way or the other.

But I do have a way I think
you could win and save face.

See, the thing is, Rachel,
you're a manipulating slut,

and you'd happily humiliate me,
I'm sure.

Grace, that's not true.

Yes, you would, Rachel,
so I'm gonna stick to my plan.

On your mark.

A pretty crazy season, huh?

Hard to believe
it's almost over.

Yeah, I know, it was a...
That was pretty insane.

Especially with having...
Mary, that was just the worst.

Yeah, of course,

but it's been pretty dramatic
lately, though, right?

I don't follow.

Last night, Rachel.

She told me.

She did?

You're not gonna hit me
right now, are you?

Honestly, I wouldn't blame you,

but if you can just wait till after
the wedding, then you can have at it.

Won't be necessary.

That's big of you, really.

Honestly, it was just a fling, and
we got a little carried away,

but we're never
gonna run away together.

Yeah.

No, I-I...
I get it.

Guess we both dodged a bullet
on that one.

So you told Grace
that you slept with Adam

and she still wants to marry him.
Yes.

Look I'm not done yet,
but, listen, say next season,

this all works out,
we're in control, right?

What about a show
about men and women

who are like distinguished public servants?
More candles, please. More candles.

Bored. They work at
the Royal Ballet.

Bored-er.
All right, ballet?

They don't have boobs.
Politicians. D.C.

Yeah, D.C. is Hollywood
for ugly people, all right?

Stop standing around!
You should be doing something.

Fine. Fine.
Okay, you know what?

We keep the package
exactly the same,

but we just
make a... a strong,

completely enforced ban
on all bikinis.

Why are you standing around?

You have a job. Do it.
Ban on bikinis?

Yes. No, we'd lose our audience.

We're not PBS, okay?

Okay, you want something
just completely out of the box,

super crazy?

Are you ready?
Go.

Wait for it.

A show about women
who have careers

and actually talk about them.

So, it's "The Apprentice"
meets "Everlasting"?

That's not what...

No, wait, girls have to compete
for a husband and a job,

so maybe the suitor
owns a company

and he has to hire some of them.

Come on, sleeping with your boss
is so hot right now.

It's so not
what I'm talking about.

The Whole Package."

Pun intended.
Come on. It's a great idea.

That's awesome.
Here's your coffee.

No, you're too late.
I don't want it.

So, the wedding,
should there be one,

will take place
at my family's ancestral home,

which some might call a castle.

Oh.

Okay, that is a cut, everyone.

Welcome to merry, old England,
darlings.

We are flying out tomorrow,

so just get locked and loaded,
okay?

You heard her. Hey, guys,
travel just asked me

if you want to share a room
in London.

Sure.

Yeah, that's cool.
Right, Rach?

Come on, it'll be fun, right?

Sounds like a blast, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah? Okay, cool.

Okay, I went back to Grace
that girl will not budge.

She and Adam formed some, like,

weird, non-American
trade agreement or something.

I mean, no matter what we throw at
her, she's just not gonna do it.

I'm just gonna get Adam
back into Anna.

There's just no way that she's gonna
put up with any of this crap.

All right, you don't,
and I'm swallowing

a bottle of diet pills
as a gesture of dissent.

I cannot live
through another year of bulimia

and side-boob
covered in glitter.

You and me both.
I'm on it.

Don't worry.
You want me to try?

I mean, 'cause it's not like

he's taking girlfriend advice
from you at this point.

You know what?
I finally found myself a ringer.

If anyone can turn him,
it's her.

How we doing?
Give me an update.

Got her.
Wonderful.

Ladies, we're gonna start
shooting in two minutes.

Duchess Cromwell, hi,
I'm Rachel.

We spoke on the phone.

I'm so glad you could make it.

Couldn't get anyone else, hmm?

I'm sure you must think

all this last-minute wedding
stuff is incredibly crass.

Please, I was snorting blow
off Mick Jagger's... you know

two days before I married
an impotent duke for his title.

Well, if that's the case, I think
you're really gonna love these girls.

The names...
Ugh!

I don't need names.

Camera "A," eyes up.

Copy that.

Her royal highness,

the Duchess of Sandwich,
Camille Cromwell.

Young ladies,
please take your seats.

I will join you.

Who is that?

It's his grandmother.
How do you know that?

Slut.

So...

who here
has slept with my grandson?

So, Granny, which of these girls
do you like?

You just need a picture bride,
a Kate Middleton,

someone to make pretty babies
and pose well.

I think Grace
is perfect for that.

The Latin one?
Adam.

I know, but her father's
a horse breeder.

He's got plenty of land.

She's quite smart.
Oh, she's delicious.

I'm sure the two of you
have had a lovely romp,

but we don't
marry brown people...

We just don't.

What about the other one,
the porcelain doll.

What's her name?
Anna.

That one.
Yeah.

She possesses
one of the most glorious traits

few Americans have...

She knows when to keep
her bloody mouth shut.

And she seems to know
a bit about the family.

Do you think
they would like her better?

If you want to get back
in the Cromwells' good graces,

marry the little doll,
start popping out heirs...

The whole lot will come running.

Either way,
it seems you might need this.

Wow.

So, I can take this
as your blessing?

Just be thankful
you're not getting

some hideous, horse-toothed
cousin we foisted on you.

Times have changed
for the better, my poppet.

Mm.

Today, here in this garden,

Adam will propose
to one of our remaining ladies.

Should she accept,
she will take her first step

to becoming a princess

as she weds Adam tomorrow
on live television.

You know, I'm not in line
to be the prince or anything?

Since when do we care
about facts on this show?

Adam?

Enough talking. Get out there.
He's coming, ladies.

You look fantastic.
Thank you.

Now, Adam, are you ready
to pop the question?

After much consideration, yes.

Each of you are so remarkable,

and I can imagine my life
with most of you.

Well, here goes nothing.

Grace...

you know the powerful
connection that we shared.

But I'm sorry,
you're just not my wife.

Anna...

seeing you here today
in my country with my family...

I realize how beautifully
you fit in here

and how beautifully we fit,
and I...

only hope
that you feel the same way, too.

I do.

Good luck with that, Anna.

Thank you.

Camera "A," can you push in
on the royal bullshit?

Camera B, please stay on Grace.

Okay, go, Madison,
get the interview.

But I wanted to see the doves.

Oh, they're not doves, they're
just pigeons painted white.

Go.

Anna Martin of Atlanta, Georgia,

will you marry me and make me
the luckiest man in the world?

Yes, of course.

Yeah!

That dress is amazing.

- Oh, look at that ring.
- I love you, Adam.

- And I love you.
- Go, doves.

Doves, doves, doves.

Wow.
That is pretty good.

Now go grab Anna before she gets
hypnotized by that devil rock.

Hey, can I talk to you?

Sure, what's up?

Everybody, um,
I was just wondering

if I could have your attention
for a minute? Now...

Jeremy, what are you doing?

I, uh, I think you guys know...

A little bit too much,
probably...

About, uh,
this woman and my relationship.

You know that I love you,
always will,

and you'll never find anybody
who loves you more.

So, while we're in
the incredibly romantic place,

I was just wondering
if I could ask you...

Jeremy...

Wanted to ask here
in front of everyone...

Um...

Oh.
You all right?

How stupid do you think I am?

I know, Rach...

about Adam.

How many times are you
gonna make me look like a fool

in front of these people,
my family?

I needed them to hear this
in case I ever lose it again

and think you're anything
less than poison.

Put that away. You know
how I always used to say

that the show's bad for you

and how it brings out
the ugliness in you?

I was wrong, Rach.

It's you that's ugly.

And we're not just done.

I'm gonna make sure you never
hurt anyone like this again.

What?
Britney, relax.

Take that, bitch! All
right, Britney, go.

Everybody, back to work.

We've still got
a wedding to produce.

Oh, God, don't do that!

What? What?

Look at me
so early in the morning.

Are you feeling any better?

Yeah, I'm fine. Okay, great.
Well, get up.

I've seen that look in your eyes
before, all right?

I know you got double dumped
and you're on the edge,

but today is not the day
that you get to lose your mind,

you hear me?
Sit down.

Tomorrow, you can jump off
the Golden Gate Bridge,

walk into traffic, whatever,

but today,
I need you on your toes.

I need you
to stick with the plan, okay?

Think you can do that?

Mm-hmm.
Good.

You know what you need to do?

Yeah.

Then go do it.

Yeah, we got flowers going.

Looks pretty good, huh?

What do you think?

What are we doing? I just
want to talk to you.

I just need to know.

Okay, something happened,
something changed,

and I really want to know what it is.
What do you mean?

You know I can handle it.
I want you to tell me the truth.

Was the sex bad
or was it something that I said?

Rachel, we talked about this. You
said that everything was fine.

No, it's not fine.
I'm not fine.

Yesterday, you were begging me
to run away with you,

and six hours later,
you say you changed your mind.

Something happened and I really
want to know what it is, Adam.

Look, Rachel, okay, we... we can
talk about this, but another time.

I have to go to a wedding
right now... my wedding.

I have to honor that.

Honor?!
You're gonna honor that wedding?

That wedding is a lie...
We both know it.

What are you talking...
Yeah, of course it is,

but I still have to make it
look real, don't I?

Otherwise,
this has all gone to waste...

No vineyard,
no public rehabilitation.

What if
you fall in love with her

and you get her pregnant and you
have, like, children with her?

That could really happen.

I'm going to annul
at the end of the year.

Anna's sweet,
but wha... I mean, love?

Please, just tell me
what's wrong with me.

Okay, look, I don't have time for this.
Just tell me what's wrong with me!

I have to go.

I'm sorry.
I just need to know.

Look, as a friend, I just wanted you to
know what you were getting yourself into.

"As a friend"...
Right.

Yeah, as a friend.

Okay, I mean... what do I have
to gain by doing all that?

What are you gonna do?

I'll let you know.

Excuse me.

Rolling in five, people.

Let's hustle. So, did
you talk to Anna yet?

Mm-hmm.
It's a 70/30 she's in, but yeah.

I started giving him shots
an hour ago.

I think we're good.

13 seasons, we finally get
a live wedding on TV.

This is gonna be fantastic.

Well, you've outdone yourself,
buddy.

Three minutes, people.
Three minutes.

Okay,
whenever you're ready, babe.

You know what? I'm gonna let you
do it this time.

It's your show. That's all right.
You always do it.

This is live. Oh, I don't
want to steal your thunder.

Here we go.
Yeah.

We're going live in 10...

9...8...

Where did you get that?

7...6... 5...
A groom to remember.

4...3...

Going live.
Mm? Action.

Where's the bride?

She's not coming.

Anyone have eyes on Anna?

Where is she?

Camera "A," do you see her?

Where... where is, uh...
Where is she?

You got the bride?
Do you know where the bride is?

Oh, you guys can sit down.

What is happening?

Um, Anna got cold feet.

This has never happened before
in the history of "Everlasting,"

but...

we have a runaway bride.

What?!

Yeah, Adam, I really don't know
how to say this to you,

but, um...

you are going home alone.

There's gonna be
no "Royal Renovations."

She can't say that.

Adam, you're free to go.

Oh, hell, I'll take him.
What's going on?

What? It's all for show,
anyway, right?

Adam, you love me

about as much
as you love any of these girls,

which is not at all.

What's going on?

Cut, cut...
Go to commercial.

The creator of this show, Chet...
Cut, cut, cut.

Brought me on the show
to sleep with me.

This show
is his personal whorehouse.

Who is that?

Britney is...
Get her out of her.

That was Chet's idea
to bring back a bad girl.

She can't say that.
We're on live television, man.

The audience wants to believe it's real.
I have it.

The audience needs to believe it's real.
I have it.

What are you gonna do?
Go to three.

Someone find Adam, please.
All right, not all of you.

Someone get reactions.
Down for reactions.

Don't go down to the floor.

You got to go up...
This is live television.

You got to fix this.

Oh, uh, what, me?

I-I'm... I'm just a P.A.
that slept my way to the top.

Camera three.
Please.

I want your full support
moving forward.

Anything.

I'm about to lose my job.

They ruin your lives!
Hello?

Someone go down.
I know. I am on it.

Audio mic, cut on Britney.

I need Camera 1, follow Britney
and stick with her like glue.

I need Camera 2,
reactions on Granny.

Camera 3,
I need close-ups on Adam.

And, Rachel, I need you
to get security in here.

Get Britney out. See,
this is what they do.

Here we go. They
make you disappear.

Adam, tell 'em!
Adam!

I need you to follow
the security guards.

Adam!
Where are you, Camera 2?

Is your hand up your ass crack?

I need a camera outside,
out back, right now, and go.

Copy that.

I think it's going pretty well.

Stay on, stay on.
Anna!

Ugh, I'm too old for this.

All right, come on.
Stand down.

Stand down.
Stand down.

Get to the top, go.
Out of her face.

Anna, why'd you do this?

I mean, after everything the
two of you have been through,

it must have been pretty bad,
huh, for you to, uh,

have left him...
at the altar.

Every little girl
dreams of this day,

of this moment,

but that doesn't mean that
I would go for it at any cost.

When I stopped
and I really thought

about my time with Adam...

That's real.
This is as real as it gets.

And the possibility
of a life with him,

I realized he's a cheating slut.

And while
I might have eventually

been able to forgive him
for that,

I had to accept the fact
that he's just not that smart.

He's an idiot.

Definitely not the man for me.

No, you just keep watching.
You're gonna love it.

Absolutely.
Oh, we're all good here.

All right.
Wow.

You did this?
Did you do this?

Me? No. Look,
Anna just found out...

I mean, like, you show me,
you're a bad bet.

Rachel, you and me...

What was I supposed to do
after everything Quinn told me?

What? I'm sorry...
Quinn told you?

Look, she told me everything.
Everything what? What did she say?

The hospitalizations
with mental problems?

Oh, my...
I was never hospitalized.

They told me all about
last year, so, I mean...

it made sense.

Adam, she lied to you and to me.

And, what,
you just believed her?

Or, you know,
maybe you wanted to.

Rachel.

Got it.

Okay.

Oh, no.

Why the long face, Eeyore?

We won.

Please tell me that you
are not wasting your victory lap

crying about boys.

I'm just trying to figure out
why he, uh...

you know, what happened
with Adam.

Anything you want
to tell me about that?

You know,
forget the "why."

He dumped you. Done.
Moving on.

Actually, I'm pretty interested

in the why in this case.

What, you mean, why you're
not coming out of a blackout

on the beach in Tahiti,

using your panties as a pillow,

dumped and realizing
you ruined your life

on some half-wit,
narcissist man doll?

Yeah, I mean, God forbid I make
my own mistakes, right?

Like you haven't made
enough of those.

Fine. Blame it on me.

I don't give a shit.

You should be kneeling down,
thanking whatever

that you didn't end up

as "Everlasting's" ultimate
tabloid idiot, all right?

This was a gift.

A gift?

Wow.

Wow.

Love is swell...

but it is not something
you build a life around.

Actually, some people do.

Oh, some people?
What, like Mary?

Nice.

Really nice.

We killed somebody, didn't we?

Yeah.

Let's not do that again.

No.

Just another
mind-numbing season

of "Everlasting."

Wait.

Not "The Whole Package"?

I thought that was
kind of a good idea.

Yeah, I mean, it's a good title,

but I don't think
our audience cares

about girls who have jobs.

Whatever.

Just no murder next season,
okay?

I mean

at least not with the
contestants behind the scenes,

I can't be so sure.

Excuse me?

Well, I mean, I'm sure Jeremy

would like to see me dead...

for example.

Yeah.

Well, he gives you any trouble,
I'll have his head.

What?

Nothing.

No. Tell me.

I love you.

You know that, right?

I love you, too.

* Sleeplessly embracing you

* Yawn yearns into me Weirdo.

* Plenty more tears in the sea

* And so you finally use it

* Bedding with me
you see at night *

* Your heart wears knight armor
* Stop walking on the rocks!

* Hunger of the pine

Hi, Mrs. Goldberg.

Jeremy!

What a surprise.

Is... Is Rachel
with you?

No. This is
actually about her.

She's really sick again.

We have to do something.

Come in.