All language subtitles for The.Threesome.2025.TS.EN-RGB

All

[Music]

right, ladies and gentlemen, please join

me in welcoming the new Mr. and Mr. Greg

Demopoulos and Matthew K.

[Music]

[Music]

I'm genuinely excited to hear why you're

the sole person already eating dinner.

I have to go back to work. I drew the

short straw.

Can't leave before the best part. That's

why I'm eating it now.

I'm about to give my toast.

Good for you.

I get it. You have your makeup on. You

don't want to cry before work.

I hope you wrote jokes as funny as the

idea of me crying at your toast.

Only one way to find out.

But then came Matthew's new assignment,

18 months in Omaha.

where he apparently made exactly one

friend.

I got home to find Greg on the floor of

our living room trying not to freak out

listening to a Daly Lama YouTube which

wasn't really helping cuz the llamas

never even had a boyfriend much less

cross state lines to live with him.

Now, uh,

Greg was, um, terrified that Matthew

would learn exactly who he really was.

And not just trivial stuff like how he

makes up random facts like Mark Twain

inventing the bra strap.

No, he did. He literally did. And he

invented standup. Google it.

So, I said to Greg, "Stay with me. Stay

here." And don't worry about getting

your heart broken because if there's one

thing I know about Greg is that he will

always do the exact opposite of what I

suggest.

So Greg was in Omaha the next month and

the rest is history which I think proves

what I've long believed.

The Dollaly Llama

sucks.

or or instead

a heart that's afraid to break

is a heart that's never used

to Greg and Matt

[Music]

[Music]

Yes. Word.

[Music]

my baby boy. He's come to visit.

How's the honeymoon,

dude? I'm a tapped cake. I remember like

the beaches, the food, the rich Cuban

culture. Can I get you?

You son of a [�__�]

What? I thought that you were here to

see me.

I am here to see you.

I Okay, you know what I want from you? I

want you to accept what you have with

Olivia. All right. You guys are friends.

Friendsish, friends, adjacent,

exco-orkers. These are all really

special, beautiful categories. And as

much as I [�__�] try, no one can take

away that little drunken hump sesh that

you two have.

Look, I don't care if you're tone, Greg.

And it was one drunken love making

session.

Did you come when you had sex with her?

Because I don't hear any postnut

clarity. Connor. God, I hate to be

blunt, but it's time to throw in the

towel. Honestly, Greg is a married man

now. You need to move on.

I don't give up that easy, even when I'm

literally begging him to.

So, your toast was a hit, huh?

It was all right. No, it was good.

You got up with anyone? I mean, that's

how you know if it was good.

I mean, it was a gay wedding.

And straight single girls famously can't

stand gay guys. So,

yeah. Not this gay guy. They actually

find me really offensive.

Yeah, but only half the guests were

yours. All I'm hearing is this is your

own special way of saying you're happy

to see me.

Really?

And please keep in mind the customer is

always right.

And please keep in mind you're Greg's

customer, not mine.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Bye.

Listen, buddy. I know it feels really

romantic to pine, but it is a super

short walk to creepy.

Did you bring the whole house in your

bag?

[Music]

Um, my hands are dirty. I'm going to go

wash them real quick. I'll be right

back. Um, can you give us some bread

sticks? Thank you.

What are you doing here?

She insisted on coming chef to stop

making such good food.

We make chicken fingers. You came to

[�__�] with me like a child after I very

gently ghosted you like an adult.

See me out with my wife [�__�] with you.

That's not my problem.

Don't twist my words.

Who's she talking to? No idea. But you

know what's more interesting idea? Look

over there at that table.

You see her?

Do you know her?

No, but you're about to.

I'm really not in the mood.

Look, she just got stood up. She is

waiting for a handsome young fella to go

over there and talk to her.

Since that's not happening, maybe I can

go over.

They didn't say that at all. That's all

you. That's all internal. Look, if

you're not going to do it for her, do it

for Olivia. Show her that another girl

sees how much of a cat you are.

When you told me that you were married,

I thought you'd be low maintenance.

Instead, you're this black hole of

medius.

Maybe for once we skip the mean thing

you say to me that you take back later.

You know the easier way to skip it is

don't show up at my work. Thank you guys

so much for coming. Have a great night.

Thank you.

Get a real job. Maybe I wouldn't have

to.

I'm going to spit in your food.

Spit my mouth.

Read the room.

Where'd he go? Did he leave?

No, he's uh just getting started.

Probably nothing. H.

So, nowhere else. Not even a not even a

study abroad or

Well, I've actually never not lived at

my parents house.

What? It's practical. Rent is expensive

and I can commute to college.

You missed out on having a terrible

roommate who eats all your food and

leaves her dirty underwear around.

I have that. That's my dad,

right? Well, I I did have a buddy that

went to Ur. I actually threw up in the

fountain one visit.

That's bad.

Please don't don't turn me in.

My loyalty is to my school. I hope

you'll understand.

Of course, I will not tell you what

happened in the quad. That it was worse.

[Music]

No.

[Music]

Excuse me,

miss. Is this bothering you?

No. No, not at all.

He's wanted in multiple states for

indecent exposure. She's

Oh, okay.

He's my friend.

Used to work here back in the day.

That's how we met. And we had sex once.

Technically.

Why did you add technically?

Okay. I love your top. That is so cute.

Thank you. I never really feel like I

have a reason to wear it. So,

uh, Jenny had a pet rabbit as a child

which committed suicide.

Well, allegedly. I wasn't home at the

time and my dad's story doesn't really

add up. That's I haven't rolled out

negligence. Sorry.

Stand corrected. Her father may have

murdered a rabbit. But in brighter news,

you play the viola.

I do.

Well, I play the recorder and my father

murdered my self-confidence. So, we're

modern women cut from the same cloth.

Connor, you have so much to learn from

us.

We're about to close, but you want to

stay?

Uh, yeah, sure. What are you drinking?

[Music]

You want to wait.

[Music]

I follow you.

I I follow

I follow you morning.

I follow you.

[Music]

[Music]

I am so glad you guys talked to me. I

really needed a night like this.

Why? Your friends don't dance?

Um, I mean, I don't really have many

friends.

I mean, people I grew up with, but I

don't know. You grow up and then you

turn out different and Yeah. Do you ever

think about like who you would become if

you started hanging around different

people?

Yeah, of course.

I'm surrounded by bad influences.

You get so cute.

You have plenty of time to find your

pupil.

Then you'll know

if your hair's

where the bathroom is.

Yeah.

So, what do you think?

What do I think

about what?

Should we bang?

Yeah,

I can tell she's into it.

Uh,

all three of us.

Yes.

Or maybe just

you and me. Okay.

Meet the moment. Don't be such a puppy

dog.

Okay.

Oh, whoa.

Hi.

Hi. You guys

You guys going to ask me to watch you do

it?

No.

But I understand why.

But we were just uh playing a game.

Game?

I like games. What kind of game? Truth

or dare?

Yeah. Oh.

Have you ever played it?

Yeah. I when I was in like fifth grade,

I was dared to eat a raw hot dog.

Oh my god. Well, then that's I was going

to do that one.

Uh, should we play?

I'm down.

Yeah.

Okay. Who wants to go first?

I'll go first.

Truth or dare?

Um,

truth.

H.

Okay.

Have you ever kissed a girl?

Um,

I mean like girls playing like when I

was little.

Uh, have you ever really really really

kissed a girl?

Do you want to?

That's two questions,

which is totally fine.

Yes.

You're a great kisser.

Thank you.

Okay, handsome,

your turn.

Truth or dare?

Dare.

I dare you to give me the best kiss

you've ever given.

I think it's your turn

Can I just kiss you?

[Music]

Hey.

Hey. How's it going?

Uh, it's all right. Yeah, I don't I

don't usually drink that. Well, I don't

I don't usually drink. So,

but the rest the rest was a typical

Friday, right?

Uh, yeah, she really knows how to get

what she wants, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, she does. Um,

but I should say like I I als I also

wanted it.

Oh, no. Like that. Yeah. No, I did. I

also wanted it, too.

Yeah. Yeah. Last night was

was really something. Uh, you're a

you're a beautiful

woman. What am I?

Uh, do you want do you want anything? I

have instant oatmeal and cereal.

What cereals?

Grape nuts and raisin brand.

Those are the saddest cereals.

I could also offer a shower and or a cup

of tea.

Yeah, that sounds great. boat. One of

each, please.

Great. Now we're getting it somewhere.

Look at this. Wow. What an Airbnb. Five

stars.

Uh, well, yeah. You have a shower and

I'll do the tea.

Okay.

You know, if you were thinking of

showering too and you wanted to save

water, te can wait. Closer

[Music]

to the sun.

[Music]

I brought the tea anyway

just in case.

[Music]

New contact Jenny Theesa.

Okay, we can just go with Brooks.

Brooks. Okay. Brooks Theesa. Sorry.

Uh, it was nice to meet you, Jenny.

Yeah,

I'll give you a call.

Sounds good.

Bye.

Bye.

[Music]

Hi.

Hi. I see you've mastered the art of

playing it cool.

I see you've taken the jacket.

I want to take you on a real date.

Are you seriously not satisfied?

When I was co-sucking your dick last

night, that wasn't enough for you.

It was unbelievable.

But forget the sex. I had an amazing

time. I haven't had that much fun in a

long time. And don't forget the sex.

I will say you picked up a thing or two

since last time.

You know, it's still my heart. A sexual

compliment almost makes me forget waking

up to a cold bed.

You can buy my breakfast. That's kind of

like a date.

I want to buy you dinner tomorrow night.

I'm working

the next night. Final offer.

Unless there's a better night, which

case that's totally matter.

Why do men think that unwanted

persistence is so charming?

That's fair. In my defense, I was inside

you like eight hours ago.

Okay. Fine.

Fine.

Yeah. One date.

I overdressed, didn't I?

What do you mean? You're saying I

underdressed? You want me to change? You

worried the drive-thru worker will see

me?

For information, this Taco Bell has an

inside seating area.

Oh, okay. Oh, it's my sister. Hey,

what's up?

Almost where?

Oh, like tonight? Tonight? Uh,

yeah. No, I can I can I can be there in

a few hours.

Olivia,

I'm kidding. Oh my god. Calm down. Bye.

Connor,

do you want to know what's an amazing

first date activity?

Don't touch that. Hey, don't touch that.

Relax. The situation is under control.

Hey, this is Connor.

He's great with kids, probably. I

actually have no idea now that I say

that.

That's for you.

Thank you. Why is Connor in my house?

Remember when you were 16 and you'd

babysit for your neighbor and you'd

bring your friend

and that friend was a 30-year-old poetry

teacher?

Sometimes he was. Thank you, Roger.

Weird. But in 30 seconds, I'm either

burning this place down or leaving, so I

don't care. Okay. And I guess it was my

fault cuz I only reminded you like four

times. Okay. Apology accepted.

No. Sex X and RB. All right.

You don't have to spell that. We'll wash

a sheet. No signs. How many kids are

there?

Okay. Well, this meeting of the

babysitters club is hereby adjourned.

Please keep my children alive. No maker

managers. Bye. I love you. Love you. I

don't know you, but

All right. Behave yourselves.

You too, Grace and Milo.

Now what?

Let's eat dinner time.

All right.

[Applause]

[Music]

Ei

o. That was pretty good. And so who's on

the farm? Is it one of these? Is it one

of these? Who's that?

Horus. All right.

H

chick. E I E I O.

With a beep heep here and a beep beep

there. Here a peep, there a peep,

everywhere a beep beep. Olivia, get in

here.

What?

That's not the bottle I told you to

open. That's like $200. I'm sorry. I

thought

you never let up, do you?

That's insane.

I can't believe they do that every

single day.

It felt like I was an uncut gem.

It's derange that I ever did that on my

own.

[Music]

Thank you.

We make a good team.

Hey to unconventional first dates.

Wow. And they're corny toasts.

You can't brag on my toast when you

famously missed my best one ever.

Now that I think about it, you did play

acoustic guitar at me on our first date.

So

wait,

which you loved.

Did not.

You're a big soft.

No, I'm not. Always suspected.

Okay, fine. I have many sides.

I hope to get to see them all.

You want to do it on my sister's bed?

Thought they said no sc.

Good thing I don't know how to spo.

[Music]

Weirdest thing that I'm most proud of my

collar bones.

So that's what your face looks like.

When you look at yourself, you think I

love that clavicle?

Yeah, it is. I weirdly like when I

people say I have nice handwriting and I

pride myself on being able to read other

people's messy writing.

Penmanship.

Yeah.

That's too boring to be weird.

Nah, nothing like someone who's never

felt the rush of a handwriting

compliment.

I once masturbated to Billy Joel.

The [�__�] On a dare?

No, because he's a [�__�] poet.

New meaning to River of Dreams.

I'm sorry.

Please. I got best eyes and best

eyebrows which are two separate ones

I'll have you know. Thank you very much.

Yes.

But I was really pissed because I wanted

to get best of humor and Carver Carus

got it. Basically just cuz of her dumb

Thoride impression.

Boride. That's not even a hard

impression.

No, I'm [�__�] aware.

I remember the first movie I saw.

Fantasia.

Temp.

The is the Tchaikovski classical music

piece. Remember I was playing

Tchaikovski

from Fantasia? No, it's not crown. It

was an original piece of music and then

they decided to use it.

Next movie.

What's the next one? I'm bored. You

ever seen Shrek 2?

Well, yeah.

That's the best feature film ever. Gosh

darn me.

Oh, I'm sorry. Have I seen it only 12

times?

Where's Breakup?

Mhm.

Uh,

technically,

never actually been broken up with.

Oh, come on. Leave it to me. take a

couple years off from the boyfriend game

and I get a guy who's dumped everyone

he's ever dated. Cool.

[Music]

I think we both know one way or another

my streak is doomed.

[Music]

[�__�] I meant to empty out that trash.

I thought you were on the pill.

It's hard to remember. You know, you

have to take one every single day.

Uhhuh.

Yeah.

And

and

are

it's not that big of a deal.

It's early enough that I can take

another pill or whatever.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

And uh um just checking.

Yeah.

A pill is what you want.

Can you even imagine?

No. No.

I mean, I

I can imagine

wh what's happening right now?

I I don't know. I just

after the initial terror subsided,

obviously, I had this strange moment

when I saw the box. Like, am I supposed

to be terrified because it's unexpected

or ahead of schedule?

Cuz like, is it is it even?

Yeah, it is.

Olivia, I'm 30.

I was eight when my mom was 30. My dad

had abandoned a whole family by the time

he was 30. I mean, I'm I'm lagging.

That's crazy. All this time we thought

like I was the out there one, but

clearly

Connor,

we've never even said

I love you.

I guess it would be rude of me not to

confess that I

I do love you, too.

I do.

But that doesn't mean that we need to do

something bonkers that we can never ever

take back.

Do you love me?

You're going to make me instantly regret

saying that, are you?

So, okay, just to recap, um,

you're pregnant.

Yeah.

And we love each other.

And we've been together for 6 weeks.

Yeah, but I didn't meet you 6 weeks ago.

You're great with kids. Would you ever

think about being a mom?

Someday.

Someday.

Yeah, someday.

Someday. Like someday. this

somebody like in 5 years, Connor. I like

just can't believe that you're even

considering this.

I can't either, but all I know is my

heart sank more when you mentioned the

pill when I saw that box.

Um, I can't think, right? Can Yeah, I

just have I Let me think about it.

Think about it.

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah, it's a lot.

I can work with that. Okay.

Okay.

Baby steps.

Sorry.

When you picture what you want your life

to be like, what do you see?

What kind of question is that?

You want to know why? It's you and me

and kids.

Whatever that is.

[Music]

Okay. Well, let's make a pact then. When

we're 86, if we're still single.

All right. Don't even try.

85.

You said you love me. Can't pretend

anymore.

Maybe I like

yours, too.

Yes.

[Music]

She asks a lot of questions, but it'll

be fine. Just in and out. Stick to the

plan. Just saying hi. Okay. Wait. Uh,

what

do you think? You should have worn bag

of your clothes. I got to leave.

Stop it. Relax. It's just a friendly

visit. I'm not going to drop any bombs

tonight.

Sorry. I panicked. I I I don't know why

I just said that. Is she taking it well?

I can't tell.

Hard to say.

Did she just shoot herself?

I'm going to be a grandma. What's the

gender?

We don't know.

When's the due date?

Not sure.

What's the wedding?

Mom, there's no wedding.

Do you need any caretaking? I'm free on

Tuesdays and Thursdays after 1:20. We'll

talk about

in some Saturdays.

Thank you.

What are you going to name it,

Mom?

What are we going to name our kid?

What about

Alice?

As in Wonderland?

Well, no. It was It was my mom's mom's

name and I always liked it.

H

I don't know.

Oh, okay.

No, it reminds me of this girl named

Alice from my high school who always ate

cans of tuna for lunch. What? No. Not

eating with mayo. And it wasn't a

poverty thing. She just like [�__�]

loved tuna. It was nauseating.

Jenny,

what are you doing here?

I need to talk to you, Connor.

Why haven't you?

I just don't think that's any of your

business.

Jenny, are you even sure it's mine?

Hey, he was using a condom. Remember I

was there? He used a condom.

Not in the morning.

In the morning.

In the morning.

Okay.

I'm out.

Hey, what do you mean you're out?

Good luck, kids. This is one for the

story books.

What? Are you breaking up with me?

I'm not doing this if there's a side

piece baby mama. Absolutely not. That is

not my life. But we can get through

this, right? Come on. We can We have to

We have to get through.

We don't have to get through this. I can

get out of this. And that's what I'm

going to do.

[�__�] is going on?

You wait. You're overreacting.

Properly reacting. This is how a normal

person reacts.

This has nothing to do with us. This is

apocalyptically bad luck from before we

even had our first date.

And if I had known that you'd [�__�]

somebody else an hour before you'd asked

me out at it, I would have stuck with

them.

You did know. It was your idea. 1 hour,

8 hours. What difference is does it

make?

Difference is that I can't have your

baby if you're already having a baby

with somebody else. Obviously.

Olivia.

Olivia, please don't do this.

Get the [�__�] out of the way.

[Music]

I'm I'm going to go. I think this

already went way worse than I ever

expected it to.

What did you want to happen?

I don't know. I just thought that you

might want to know.

Yeah.

[Music]

Jenny, we

can't have a baby together.

That's insane.

Well, it's my decision and it was

already really hard to make,

so I can do it alone if I have to.

Um,

but I I also told my parents that you

were my boyfriend.

So,

[Music]

Hi. Leave a voicemail if you want. If

it's still 2009, I might listen to it.

[Music]

So, you had a threesome

and you got both girls pregnant.

Technically, I just got both girls from

the threesome pregnant. And the random

strange that you picked up and raw

dogged happens to be a life begin to

conception evangelical.

I don't know what she is, but if you're

anti-abortion, you should not be having

freedom. It's

That's very true.

False advertising.

You seem like a sex prenup to prevent

this kind of thing.

Oh, yes.

We're having coffee this weekend.

Oh my god, that's so cute.

Trying not to get any other reasons

pregnant. You guys are so lucky to be

gay. Can't get anybody pregnant. Still

try. Uh, you do know this form of gay

man has the same capabilities as yours,

right? Look, I didn't even think I

finished inside. We were in the shower

and I didn't want to kill the mood. Go

drink water everywhere. So, I just, you

know, evacuated tad early. Okay, so

after thousands of years of perfection,

the pullout method has finally failed.

Thanks. Thanks, buddy. Pilot on.

That's crazy. That doesn't make any

sense.

It's weird.

I spent so much time imagining what me

and Olivia had in store. So real and

clear in my head. And now it's not going

to be that way. It's it's gone. And I

miss it somehow.

I miss things that didn't even happen.

[Music]

Do you want to just throw some darts at

me? Let it out. Is that okay?

Yeah.

All right. Here we go.

All right. Go ahead. I don't think

you're going to hit me. I've been seeing

you play.

Hey, come on. Next round's on me. Huh?

Okay. Who's pregnant now?

Hi.

I didn't think you'd respond.

Well, it's my birthday and I'm feeling

particularly vulnerable.

Any chance you have a pregnancy fetish?

What? What? Why? No. Are you Are you

pregnant?

Your face.

I was going to do a whole bit pretending

that it's yours, but um doesn't really

work with a guy who has a vasectomy.

Doesn't really set the mood either. So,

and you're keeping it.

[�__�] no. But you know me. Why do today

what you can put off until tomorrow?

Uh that's not how that saying goes.

I'm not here for the conversation.

Good. Because pregnant women are sexy as

[�__�]

Since there's only going to be one kid

now, maybe I could be twice the father.

You know,

if you've never sailed before, it's

probably easier to just steer one boat

at a time. It's a weird analogy. I've

never even sailed. I'm sorry.

Could we not make jokes about this? This

is my life.

You think I want to be pregnant with

some random person's baby?

I wanted to do this when I was ready

or like at least with someone that I

loved.

And here I was thinking I know you

ruined my life.

Oh no, no, I don't mean it like that.

You were just being yourself that night

and I was really trying to be someone

else. And I think I overcompensated

so much that I got what I deserved.

But then why keep it? It was clearly a

mistake. No one would judge you. I

mean, I would judge me.

It would be one thing if I actually

tried to prevent this and it happened

anyway, but I didn't do anything to

prevent this. Like, how could you call

that a mistake?

That literally makes no sense to me.

But I respect it.

Look,

I'm here because I want to try and do

the right thing,

whatever that may be.

Can we pray?

What?

Oh,

yeah. Now?

Mhm.

Yep.

You lead

me. Was helping you out.

I'm so

Are you singing it?

Well, I don't know how to pray anything.

Am

I doing it wrong? No,

I'm messing with you.

That is a relief.

Uh, sorry.

[Music]

I'm just going to take this.

Yeah. Sorry.

[Music]

Hey,

if you're trying to talk me out of it,

just save it, okay? I don't feel bad

about it, and I don't want to.

No, no, no. I I just want to know you're

okay.

Yeah, I'm okay. I'm fine. But I mean,

the only other person whose

responsibility this is is yours. So, I'm

going to need you to like Venmo me or

something.

You want me to Venmo you for an abortion

I don't want to have?

[�__�] PayPal, then. I don't care.

Fine.

Thank you.

It's on Tuesday. So, I'll let you know

the total then.

Okay.

Tuesday.

It's on this this Tuesday.

Yeah. Maya and I have to drive to

Illinois, though, so that's fine. Yay.

Medieval abortion laws. Everything is a

fiery hellscape.

Olivia, can I just see you before you

go, please?

I'm not changing my mind. You can go

home.

I'm not here to change your mind. I'm

here to support you.

You want to support me? How? You make a

road trip next.

Look, I can accept you're not having our

baby anymore, but I can't accept what's

happened to us.

I don't want to do this right now. Can

we fight about it when I get back?

Please,

let me take you. Please. It's my

responsibility.

It's not your responsibility. I'm not

some scared sophomore cheerleader. I'm

fine. Honestly, I don't need you to take

me. I have Maya.

Maya. Uh, wouldn't Roger rather I took

her so you can stay?

No.

Okay. Uh, look, we started this thing

together. We should end it that way,

too.

Honor.

Please, I want to have this portion with

you.

I don't know.

I was planning on sleeping most of the

way there anyway.

So, if it's like really important

to you, then fine. I love you.

I love you. Drive safe.

And uh yes, I did make a road trip mix.

It's nice to see you.

Nice to see you, too.

[Music]

I found my

[Music]

[Music]

beautiful drive.

Stunning.

Going back to bed.

[Music]

And I

[Music]

love

down here. Right.

Okay.

Which option is better?

That's entirely up to you.

Some people prefer to do the procedure

here and know it's completely taken care

of. When you leave here, you know you're

no longer pregnant.

Some feel the pills offer a less

invasive, more private option.

I don't know. I'm just

I don't know what to do. Um but I don't

have to make the decision right now,

right? Cuz I have to

think about it for 24 hours. Isn't there

a way?

Not here in Illinois.

No. Okay.

No. Okay.

But you absolutely can take the night to

think it over if you like.

Okay.

We can get you back in tomorrow. That's

no problem.

Sorry.

Don't be sorry, darling.

Did you know the abortion itself only

takes between 5 and 10 minutes?

Isn't that weird?

You you carry this thing for weeks,

literally growing inside you, and then

if it makes you feel better or

[Music]

my part in making it was also 5 to 10

minutes. So,

I don't want to eat that.

[Music]

You awake?

Yeah.

Can I pull over there?

[Music]

[Music]

No funny business.

You're the funny one.

I can only do serious business.

Oh my god. I'm the funny one. All right.

[Music]

Permission to kiss you on the forehead.

[Music]

M

top of the head only

one peck.

[Music]

It's going to be okay.

Can I just Can I just take a minute?

Yeah.

I don't think that I want to do this.

Really?

Does this make me a Republican?

No,

no, no, no. We came 300 miles for

abortion and that is what I'm getting.

An abortion.

What? Hey, hey, hang on. I'm losing my

mind right now.

You just said you don't want an

abortion, then looked at my face and

changed your mind. But do you not want a

baby cuz you don't want a baby or

because you're mad at me?

Even if it's what I want to do, it

doesn't mean it's what I should do.

Since when does Olivia Capitano give a

[�__�] about what she should do?

Maybe Olivia Capitano doesn't know what

she wants at all.

What do you think she wants? You claim

to know her so well.

I think Olivia Capo,

stop that whole thing.

Okay. I think that you

I think if you go in there and have an

abortion, you won't regret it. But I I

think you want to keep it.

So, you're saying keeping it wouldn't be

a huge mistake.

I will make sure it isn't.

You have to go and have the world's most

potent [�__�] sperm.

A week ago, I can't really It's just

like I felt like I had everything. I

did. I was actually happy. And if I can

hold on to some of that, then

are you sure?

No.

That's my decision.

Let's go home.

Glad you came.

Wanted persistence for the win.

[Music]

Hit it. It's always hard to reconcile

how cool you are with the fact that you

listen to this kind of music. I'm sorry.

I

skip.

What is this? That's what

Who's Kevin Weinbart?

Read my phone.

His wife's out of town. What is it?

Jesus Christ. We're in a moving car.

Don't read my You know what? That's

What are you doing right now?

Conor,

[Music]

you can't give me [�__�] with this. We

broke up.

We were in love. We were having a We are

having a baby. And you're already

[�__�] somebody else.

No, no, no, no. I'm not [�__�] somebody

else. I [�__�] somebody else. Just

because he wants to do it again doesn't

mean that that I want you. I I I

honestly I don't.

Sorry. So, uh I can't be heard about it

cuz it was just the one time.

I'm allowed to try and feel better.

We're supposed to be there for each

other. I'm the one who gets to try and

make you feel better.

You got somebody else pregnant.

That was an accident. We We weren't even

together yet.

And we're not together now.

Connor, you said that we could do this

trip without you bringing this [�__�] up.

And I bring up

I said that when I saw that box, my life

was changed. Everything I've done since

then has been with you and that baby and

the rest of our lives in mind. Stupidly,

I thought you were the same.

That other baby is going to be around

for the rest of your life, too. So is

Jenny. Okay? Whatever we had before, it

doesn't exist anymore, and it can't come

back.

Not again.

[Music]

[Music]

Two girls pregnant. Come on, Connor.

I feel a little bad for my grandkids

because they're inheriting your moronic

jeans.

Well, where do you think I got my jeans

from? Huh?

Touche.

Coffee with a splash of whiskey.

Oh, wow. Didn't even check to see if I

was joking. Just sort of dove right in.

[Music]

I'm really sorry Olivia's pulling away.

I like her. I really like her. But she

doesn't know what she wants.

She said she wanted us

without any prompting from you.

You don't think there's a special summon

out there for everybody?

No.

No. And everybody who does is a [�__�]

maniac, Connor. Or maybe, you know what?

Actually, maybe there is a perfect

person for somebody, but the world is so

[�__�] humongous. How the [�__�] are you

going to find that perfect person? So,

we're all just running around unhappy,

cheating, or getting divorced. You

literally just got married.

Gay people are different. We are so

different. We can say marriages forever.

Look at you, Jackman. But I actually do

just think I can convince her that I'm

right and she's wrong.

Oh my god. How did I raise such a man?

Wonderfully.

Don't forget there's another girl who

may appreciate your supportive partner

energy and you have a responsibility to

her too and to her baby most of all. I

actually do think Jenny has an OBGYn

appointment coming up.

Perfect. Take her to it.

What if she gets the wrong idea and I'm

like wanting to shack up or

take a friend?

This is so exciting.

Yeah. Thanks for coming,

dude. Of course. Never missed this.

Wait, I never even really saw her. She's

beautiful.

Yeah.

Is she still up for threesomes?

Fun.

Oh, fun.

That's the mother of my child. You

disgusting animal. Don't regret bringing

Hi.

Hi.

Hey. How's it going?

Come on in.

Hey,

someone else is here.

Yes, this is Greg.

Hi. I'm Greg Demopoulos. I'm here to

support him while he supports you, which

I guess means you're supporting me if

that's cool.

Do you always bring an extra person?

Wait, I like you.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

So, like I hate to ask because you know

it's like go and reductionist and

everything, but like what do you do?

Uh, I'm in grad school, but I work at a

soup kitchen.

Oh, you work at a soup kitchen?

Mhm.

Oh. You didn't know she did it?

She doesn't know what I do either.

And you're a recording engineer.

Yep.

Uh, it's a nonprofit. We do like bag

lunches and hot meals for unhoused

people and low-income families and

stuff.

Wow, you are making me seem like more of

an [�__�] than usual.

No,

I just help yuppies get [�__�] up.

You're a drug dealer?

No, I am a bartender, but I work at the

place where you two met. Remember?

Three-way ticket to pound town.

Whoa. Okay. Too gl there, chief.

Hey, I don't think you're glib. I think

you are very honest and direct.

I appreciate that.

Yeah, it's unique. I feel like you give

it to me straight. You know what I mean?

All right. Not totally straight.

So, was this a threesome your first

time? Like,

whoa, dude. What the [�__�]

Why Why would you ask that?

I just heard there was a religious

element. Maybe I'm projecting. You don't

have to answer him, Jenny. Okay.

It was not my first time. Definitely

not.

Okay. So, what was your first time?

Like,

Greg, shut the [�__�] up.

It's okay. Seriously.

Okay. I'm sorry. You can involve her in

all your little twisted hedonistic sex

games, but I can't ask her a simple

question. Connor,

continue if you may.

Um, okay. Well, it was my senior year

production of Cats, and it was during

intermission.

All right.

Rum Tum Tugger.

Okay.

[�__�] me behind the back curtain.

Wow. C. Wow.

Yeah.

Amazing.

And you're fully in character.

Oh. Full costume.

Full costume. So you lost it before

Connor. He was a late bloomer.

Cuz I forgot to bring condom to prom.

Okay.

Yeah. And he never has unprotected sex.

I think the principal.

How late was the bloom?

22.

Yeah. he was

22 years old.

We'll be doing a physical exam today,

which will include a breast and pelvic

exam. We'll do some blood tests and

urine studies just to establish a

baseline. And we'll do a vaginal

ultrasound to try and hear baby's

heartbeat.

Greg,

what are you doing here?

Oh, boy.

This is too good.

Hey, what do you

You decided to bring her to my doctor.

I don't own the doctor. What do I know

about finding an obstitrician? It was

this or Yelp?

So, Yelp? That's how I found this place.

What? Does she not have her own OB?

I do. I just I I did. I mean, I've I

have known her since I was 13, and I was

embarrassed.

This is insane.

I thought you were

Oh, are you like mad I didn't get an

abortion or something?

No, I just I thought that you

thought what? It's none of your

business. Remember,

will you lay my offer?

Connor, I am way too hormonal for

surprises right now. Okay, this is so

uncomfortable and awkward. This person

wants to die right now.

You know what? I think maybe you should

just go in with her.

I don't want him to go in with me. I

don't really want to see either of you

two right now. Look, if you let him go

in with you, I'll find another doctor.

Okay.

Well, why do you care so much?

Because our kids are basically twins,

and the mother of my kid's twin yells at

me every time she sees me.

Well, now I'm yelling. And you know, you

were like the coolest person I'd ever

met.

And I really I actually thought you

liked me.

And this is already so hard. Can't we

just help each other?

You're like so nice.

What's wrong with you?

I

shouldn't have been such a [�__�] [�__�]

to you just now. That was not fair or

nice. And I'm embarrassed.

I know. I I [�__�] up your life pretty

bad. So, I get it.

It's not your fault.

It's nobody's fault.

No, it's Connor's fault.

It's Connor's fault.

Yeah.

She really knows how to get what she

wants, huh?

[Music]

Hi.

I'm sorry. Did you forget something

other than a condom?

Okay.

Wow, thank you for buying that. Oh,

yeah. I did not realize scripts are so

expensive.

You know, in Finland, uh, babies sleep

in boxes that are provided by the

government.

Oh, well, why didn't you say? I could

have just bought you a ticket to Finland

for the same price.

Hey, could you grab Sorry.

Oh, I'm

[Music]

Oh my god. Who? Uh,

I just wanted to say um I'm sorry that I

never called you after that night we we

first met. Sorry. Sorry.

No, that's typical dating, isn't it?

It's just I don't want you to think that

it wasn't genuine.

That was a very genuine person. I'm I'm

trying to be serious.

Okay. And are you just apologizing or is

this going somewhere?

Whatever else is happening in my life

right now, I want you to know that I'm

on your side.

Well, since you brought it up, my

parents are pretty anxious to meet my

boyfriend and baby daddy.

Oh, they they still think that I'm

there.

It would only be this once. I I am going

to tell them soon.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

Thank you.

Also, I know it was a chaotic time, but

I really am sorry for sort of

sort of asking you to get an abort.

Oh, that's Don't ever call it that.

Nope.

And don't let anything like that slip on

your my parents.

No. I'm a parents wedry, honestly.

Oh.

I want to know the sex of the baby.

Didn't you want to be surprised?

You said you didn't want any gender

specific.

I think I have had enough surprises for

one pregnancy.

What is it?

I'm happy to report you'll soon be proud

parents to a beautiful baby girl.

I knew it.

That's crazy.

You didn't seem that excited.

Of course, I'm excited.

When the doctor said it was a girl, I

was really excited. I wanted to hug you.

Then I thought, "No, don't. She won't

want that. It'll ruin the moment for and

realizing that it kind of put a damper

on things for me.

That all went through your head in like

two seconds.

Yeah,

I'm sorry. It's dumb. And I didn't mean

to tell you.

No, I understand.

Do you though?

You think so?

I'm not sure I do.

I'm not sure why we're doing this

version where I ruin the special moment

and get all emo in the parking lot. Cuz

we could have it so much better. We

could. When I saw that text from Kevin

Wine Bar, a name which is seared into my

brain by the way. It sucked. But I can

get past it. I know it's not the same. I

know what we have with Jenny is more

permanent and complicated. I know. Don't

you think if we try, if we really try,

we could get past it, too.

No. I

Why?

Because it makes me feel pathetic.

Pathetic?

Yeah. I feel [�__�] pathetic

for you. Yeah. It's not that bad. You

know, you knocked up two hot babes. You

know that every guy that finds that out

for the rest of your life is going to be

like, "Damn, that Connor, what a [�__�]

stud." And then for me, of course,

they're thinking, "Shit, her dude

knocked up another girl at the exact

same time and she's going to take him

back. How weak is that? How desperate is

she? How pathetic is she? How no thank

you. You know, it's just

sure was a lot in there about what other

people think.

It's what I think.

It's not about getting past something.

It's about a new reality, one that I

don't want.

And I'm sorry. It's dumb and I didn't

need to tell you.

I'm not sure I've ever heard you say I'm

sorry before.

And he never will again.

I'm glad you're having a girl.

Maybe Alice is back in the mix for a

name.

Maybe,

maybe, maybe,

maybe,

maybe for you and Jenny.

Is this a weird hug?

If you have to ask, then yes, it's a

weird hug. Thought so.

I don't hate it.

[Music]

Hi everybody. I'm Greg. Olivia and I

have been physical life partners for

six years.

Years.

We're technically divorced. Um yeah, we

don't know the gender of the child yet,

but um we do know that gender is a lie.

Do we talk about the conception?

I don't think we talk about the

conception. Well, we can talk about it.

We're past that now.

That pretty much sums it up.

The name The

name is going to be Elon.

Thank you, Greg. Very creative.

Namaste.

Okay. How about you guys? Hi, I'm Jenny.

Um, this is Connor. Uh, we're not

married either, but um, we haven't even

really been together very long. Uh but

we're we're optimistic.

Yeah, we are we are together in our

dedication in bringing this baby into

the best possible situation that we can.

Thank you for sharing. What a lovely

sentiment from a lovely person.

Hi.

Whoa. Hi. Cool place to stand.

Um dumb question. me and Jenny aren't

like banging or anything, right?

You're right. That is a dumb question.

Why would you think that?

I don't know. The fact that you guys had

already signed up for this class and

all the stuff that she said about you

guys in there.

Are you naming our kid Elon?

There's nothing happening at all. Right.

[Music]

Wait. It is so nice to finally meet you,

Connor. If I'm being honest, I' i'd been

a tad bit worried when I heard about

Jenny's situation, but I'm just I'm so

relieved that she has a man who can take

care of her.

Uh, well, we're we're taking care of

each other.

I guess it's good that we didn't meet

too soon. Well, right after the

unexpected news, but

Oh, okay. Excuse me. You know what would

be fun?

Do you remember the little videos that

you used to make me? We had a little

Elizabeth Taylor over here, a star

again. She was adorable.

What about it? Connor, do you want to

see my little cookie back if Jenny if

Jenny wants Guys, guys? Absolutely not.

My name is Jenny.

Please, can we please not do this?

Genuinely, Jenny, you're in the way.

This is so embarrassing. Stop. Please,

mom.

She's flying. Look, I made the little

winks. Can you believe it?

They're really nice.

She's so cute.

Okay, she became obsessed with weddings

and she wanted to be a bride. Remember

that? She saw our wedding video.

Yeah.

Oh, she was so cute.

It's a

I think she was going to marry her teddy

bear.

Do you remember when they they married a

Kendall?

Okay, I'm going to go to the

and Ashley Martin's cat.

Wow.

[Music]

Look at her.

I want you to be my best friend,

you know, about arranged marriages and

stuff.

I've been thinking about people in India

and Japan and

they couldn't be any less happy than

people here, right?

Maybe even more happy.

And why why is that?

Maybe love is

just commitment.

I don't think that's all love is.

Jenny, I'm just here to support you.

I think maybe I should go. Just hold me.

I don't think I can do this alone.

Jenny,

Jenny.

Oh [�__�]

I thought you left last night. I fell

asleep by accident. I I mean, I didn't

even sleep that much. It was very hard.

The floor.

Well, fool me twice. Shame on me. I

suppose she is already pregnant.

Coffee?

I should really get going.

You're the first boy to spend the night

in that room, Connor. All right, come on

and have a cup of Joe with me.

[Music]

Cheers.

Bad luck to cheers with coffee.

Yep.

I think you can understand that this

situation is difficult for me. Can't

you?

Yes, sir. I do. We never imagined things

would go like this for Jenny.

We always tried to impart a certain set

of values in this house.

And that may seem a little outdated to a

young person like yourself,

but let me tell you, it can lead to a

mighty uncomplicated life.

And that's all we want for Jenny.

An uncomplicated life.

And now we're trusting you to provide

it. Yes, sir.

So, you're going to lay with your chest

down on the pillow like this. And

partners, you're going to put your hands

on either side of her hips and give her

hips a good jiggle. Relaxes the pelvis.

Resets the nervous system

[Music]

in the sun.

Why are they going to tell your parents

the truth about us?

Death bed.

You know, it's just been so much better

for me since they met you.

It's like they're excited about the baby

and they want to help and it's made me

feel like this isn't the worst thing

that's ever happened.

That doesn't really answer my question.

You've got [�__�] kidding me.

[Applause]

Oh my god.

Oh [�__�]

What? Oh my god.

Ah. Jesus Christ.

Oh yeah. Hemorrhoids. You're going to

get those.

That is just not okay. Why is pregnancy

so disgusting? I've never been this

disgusting. Women shouldn't have to be

subjected to this. Men should have to

get pregnant. They're already gross.

Surprise.

Surprise.

Wow. Thanks everyone. We did not see

this coming at all.

We didn't see that baby coming either.

It's true. You are going to be like a

gross, disgusting freak probably for the

rest of your life. Thank you.

Yeah. Welcome to Parenthood. But it's

going to be the most beautiful thing

that ever happened to you.

When

Connor Jenny tells me you do some

volunteer work with the Methodist

church.

Oh, she did?

Yeah. Well, I don't like to to brag.

Which church? Peach Tree, Central

United.

Yeah, both of those. You know what? I

would do them all if I could. I just I

love I love the Methodists and their um

their methods. Bingo.

Yeah.

I heard the pastor at Peach Tree got

fired for using the collection funds to

fund his lipos suction.

No, girl.

Yes. I don't really I don't know about

that. You know, I don't like to spread

rumors. So,

Right. Right.

Yeah.

The only goss he spreads is the gospel.

Can I get an amen? Saints,

do you want my advice?

Enjoy the silence.

What is it, honey?

[Music]

Hi. Hi everyone. Uh, I'm Connor.

Dolly Llama sucks.

Or a heart that's afraid to break is a

heart that's never used. Thanks for

throwing this for us. Definitely never

forget it.

Welcome family.

Thank you, sir. Um, it's very kind of

you to say.

Well, we will let you two say goodbye.

We have got to tell him.

I know. I know. Just

When the time is right,

you know, it's a pretty solid party.

Like, objectively, it's got cornbread,

oppressed, sexual energy. I don't really

need anything else.

[Music]

Hey, come on, man. You could do a lot

worse than this.

Seriously, it's not that bad. Matt's mom

is a flat earther.

I said I wanted to travel around the

globe. We got in a huge [�__�] arena.

[Music]

[Music]

Tell me,

how does it feel

to know?

Doesn't seem real

to me. This is enough.

Hey,

I could have called

or I could have

No [�__�] way. That's the wrong screw

again.

Caught in the wind.

know where to stand.

Don't know where I've been.

to tell me.

Look,

did you know

I would fall

as hard as I start?

[Music]

Oh my god. Thank you so much.

No problem.

What kind of high school senior gets

chickenpox?

Nobody gets chickenpox. She's a liar.

She's dead to us. Okay. There's leftover

pasta in the fridge. He likes with salt,

butter, and salt from the salt shaker.

But listen, not from the salt dish.

Okay, got it. I'm going to text you from

the car.

I will be fine. I'm ready to get some

practice. Go.

We love you, Grace. We love you, Milo.

Have a nice day of living.

[Music]

38. Uh-oh. Careful.

I have to do two.

Thanks for not having anything better to

do.

Make a good team. remember.

Here you go.

I don't have blue right here.

You don't have any blues.

Oh, you shouldn't have told me that.

Me.

Kids, it's time for bed.

Looks like you were a huge hit at that

baby shower.

I wouldn't say uh hit.

I straight up asked you if you and Jenny

were together and you said that you What

was that?

I said I was with her. I wanted to help

and it got out of hand and she's not

helping me out.

What?

I was afraid you'd be mad.

Well, at least you get me.

Hey,

she's just waiting for the right time to

tell him we broke up.

You honestly believe that?

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay. Well, you've clearly never had an

affair with a married person before. The

longer you do this, the easier it is for

you guys to just end up together.

It's not what she wants.

Why wouldn't she want that?

You tell me.

What do you mean?

You're in the exact same position as

her. You can't ever stop telling me how

much you don't want to get back

together.

Here's the thing, though.

You can't tell me what to do with Jenny.

And not because I'm not making obvious

mistakes and enabling her and leading

her on. I don't know. I hope not. But

but because that's not your role

anymore.

You didn't want it to be.

That's not what I

I think about us getting back together

all the time.

I wish it was as easy as you say it is.

I just it's it's it's it's hard. I know

that I'm the one making it harder in a

lot of ways. And it's not because I

don't care. I I

[Music]

Maya Roger. Hi. How was night? Connor.

Hi. Thank you, Connor,

for your help and your assistance. Yeah.

[Music]

Okay. Bye. Bye.

Sorry.

He was helping me.

What do they K S.

[Music]

I mean, you got it right. You got

what I was trying to say. Okay.

Right.

Think you got it?

[Music]

Oh, hello. What the [�__�] is that?

What the [�__�] you?

Why are you still pregnant?

Change my mind. What's your vibe?

[�__�] relax, dude. What do you care?

You said you were going to get it taken

care of. I texted you to see how it went

and you said fine.

Yeah, it did go fine.

I wanted to keep it.

What?

Oh,

what?

I never got a vasectomy.

I never got one. Never.

You told me

that you had a vasectomy.

I did. I know I did. And I lied about

that because I don't know. I thought

that like it would make it seem to you

like it was less serious with my wife.

So

less serious

with your wife.

You said you were on the pill.

You said that.

I'm going to [�__�] kill you.

[�__�] [�__�]

Stop. Calm down.

[Applause]

That's not good for the baby.

You okay?

Okay.

Whose did you think it was? It might not

be mine, right?

You go. I just Googled prenatal

paternity testing. My life is officially

out [�__�] garbage.

Are you crying?

Please don't tell my wife. Okay, please.

It's not possible for me to want to talk

to your wife any less than I already do.

Okay, here's one. 99% accurate. Results

in under a week.

Great. Good. Thank you. I will take care

of it.

All right. It's $1,600.

1600.

Fine. I got it.

They say chivalry is dead.

I got too many kids already. Kevin

can't believe it's almost time.

A kid is so permanent. You know, we'll

never not have a kid ever again.

Hey, do you want to do you want to talk

about the other night?

Do you ever consider that I may not be

what's best for you?

That I just keep hurting you?

Where's this coming from?

I'm brash. I'm selfish.

I'm always in a bad mood.

I'm a lifetime [�__�] trying to convince

the world that I'm not.

Why would you want that?

You're so

smart

and funny

and beautiful.

I'm undoubtedly going to own your own

restaurant one day because if there's

one thing I know,

you always find a way to be the boss.

A bossy

[Music]

Olivia. All my life I've felt like I was

What?

Ah,

are you okay?

Oh.

Oh [�__�]

[Music]

Okay. Where do you fall on this scale?

You know,

I wouldn't say it's a full smile. Okay.

When they ask though, say because the

epidural will be ready faster.

Like that.

No, like Yeah, that's good. Like

I could have had epidural.

Can I just tell them that I'm in pain?

Yes, but also make the face.

Should I just put a question mark here

or

It's not funny, dude.

Did you tell him?

No. And I'm hoping that there's nothing

to tell.

Keep your fingers crossed.

She's still only

not to brag,

but that nurse and I just got to third

base.

She's zero cm dilated if you were

curious.

[Music]

You remember how we first met?

When you got hired?

No. No. Just before that, your old

manager had that party and Greg brought

me and you and I were waiting in line

for the bathroom making small talk and

then the frat bro came over, started

hitting on you.

Yeah, as frat guys do.

Yeah. Yeah. And he asked a little bit at

the party and you pointed at me and said

we were childhood friends and he looked

kind of kind of suspicious. So I said,

"Okay, well on three, let's say the

person our high school is named after."

And I counted down and said Thomas

Jefferson. and you counted down and said

Hussein

which made me laugh so much

and you just kept doing more and more

ridiculous answers about our favorite

teacher and and our first pet and I

can't remember but it was honestly the

most charming thing I've ever seen in my

life.

Wow.

Tried to introduce you to Greg that

night.

Yes. Yes. Cuz you didn't know he brought

me and you thought we'd vibe which, you

know, props to you. Very astute. I may

have thought you were gay.

Huh?

Still on the fence.

I take that as a compliment.

One day

I want to tell our daughter the story of

how we met.

I hope you do.

I could have swear that these things are

like 40-minute stops.

Oh, I'm sorry. Are you bored? Cuz I've

literally never been more uncomfortable

in my entire life. Okay. But this is the

longest recorded delivery in human

history, right?

She just got here yesterday.

Okay. So,

no.

No. Obviously.

I was checking.

Uh,

hi there.

It's happening.

I just uh I just got admitted.

What? You're here? Uh now I mean um

there

yeah sorry I would have called you

earlier but my water hadn't broken yet

and I thought it was you know false

alarm.

No of course where uh where exactly are

you in the hospital?

Labor and delivery not given birth in

the cafeteria.

Thanks. Sorry

but if you're confused I'm sure someone

can show you where.

Okay.

Why are you here already?

Do you know if I could get a good kahoo

show around here?

Great.

Hi. What's up?

Hi.

Hey.

Um, I think we should probably get going

to my room now, Dad. Right.

Yeah. Let's go get settled.

Uh, Dad. Dad. Dad. Just

leave people alone.

Dad. Dad.

Paul. Paul.

No. No. Can we help you?

So, this is Olivia. Me, my life partner.

My physical life partner. Jenny said you

were homosexual. which we completely

support.

I was drunk. We were drunk.

It's 2024.

[Music]

What is this?

[Music]

I'm so sorry,

[Music]

guys.

Hey, what is going on?

Keep your hands off of him, you

[�__�]

She's having Connor's baby, too.

No.

All right.

No, no, no. That can't be. That can't

be.

Is this true?

Look out.

[Music]

Sorry.

[Music]

Heat. Heat.

[Music]

[Music]

Hello.

Yeah, this is her.

Sure. March 15th, 1993.

Yeah, it's 5422.

Okay. Yeah, I can wait.

[Music]

I should go.

Oh. Uh, you don't have to leave.

I am so sorry for that.

I told her she had to tell her parents

and she's happy.

What?

She's 5 yards.

Why are you saying that?

Cuz it's true.

I just found out. Swear.

I couldn't let you.

I'm so sorry.

I don't understand.

It's so wonderful to be yours.

It's so

[Music]

I know. What?

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Huh?

Paul,

I think you're in the wrong room.

I'm here for the birth of my daughter.

I'm not going to let her down, too.

Okay, here we go. Take a deep breath.

One, two, three, four, five. You're so

strong. You got it.

[Music]

I'd rather be cry. That's fine. So,

well,

good job. Good job.

Good job. Good job.

One more big

[Music]

Yeah.

[Music]

I love you.

I did some things.

I don't need to do this.

Do what?

I don't need to explain or make excuses

or apologize.

I've just spent the last few hours on

the world's most [�__�] up roller

coaster of emotions and I can't deal

with another dip.

I did something that hurt you and I

would do anything in the entire world to

take it back. Anything.

I don't expect that you'll forgive me or

get past it, but I just wanted to tell

you that I love you so much. And I wish

I said it more often, but I

It's It's not about getting past it.

It's about a new reality.

Remember,

I didn't understand that then.

I do now.

Connor.

Hi.

Your baby wasn't his.

No.

I'm sorry.

Me, too.

Hey, um,

remember that time we had sex?

Yeah. Pops up every once in a while.

Well,

you know, maybe

maybe we aren't so strange.

Just two pairs of people accidentally

having kids.

I wouldn't say I'm part of a pair.

Yeah, me neither.

He's going to come through though and

you're going to be an amazing mom.

Just don't know how many amazing moms

start out not ready to be one.

Probably a lot.

You know, we can help each other out

too, right?

Don't you need a mom friend?

We can read mommy Reddit. Talk about

their sore nipples.

Oh my god. Forget my nipples. I think my

vagina tore straight to my [�__�]

Oh god. Second degree.

Yes. It's just one hole.

[Music]

Wow.

She's so beautiful.

[Music]

Okay,

that is a bachelorette bat.

It's perfect for you.

It is. It's perfect for us.

Do you need help moving?

Oh, no, no, no, no. Taking Fiona is

already the best thing you could do.

Also, if you need a real man, I know

that Connor isn't fit for the job. I'm

here. You've probably seen my delts.

I did notice that. I would love that.

Thank you, Greg. I kind of just wanted

the compliment. I didn't actually want

to help if I'm being honest. These are

not moving muscles. These are gay

muscles. They're for show.

Come on.

Come on, Greg.

I will help you get a test rabbit.

[Music]

Surprise.

What are you doing here?

I bumped into Jenny and Greg and they

said the little sprout was with you.

Thought they could have a play date.

I don't know how much playing can be

done, but I guess they could fidget near

each other.

Isn't that what you and Greg do?

Come in.

Wow, she is so cute.

Um, how are you? How how's co-parenting

life?

Honestly, pretty good.

Half the time it's just my same normal

life. The other half I get to hang out

with this little nugget. So,

not

not to say that it's easy, obviously.

How's it going for you? Uh,

I'm hanging in there.

Yeah.

What' you name her?

Fiona.

Nice.

Yeah.

Pretty. It

was Jenny's idea. She's attached to it

and I had limited political capital. So,

what would you name yours?

Alice.

Thought that made you think of cans of

tuna.

makes me think of something different

now.

I've been calling you obviously you know

that I've been

calling you and I wanted to give you

space.

It's all out there. You know, no more

secrets, no more surprises,

no one else standing in our way.

Just us needing to move past this.

Just you. Not to point fingers,

but I'm ready.

What?

I don't know if I am.

I'm just scared to get hurt,

you know?

I don't want to go through that again.

A heart that's afraid to break is a

heart that's never used.

I think the Dollaly Llama said that.

Okay.

Brilliant guy,

right?

Okay. So, you you were you heard you

were there.

You realize you're making your point by

admitting to more lying, right?

But I am making my point.

Uh, no. Technically, it was my point

originally, so I guess I

I guess I have no choice but to accept.

My point is

I'm learning to take care of the things

that I love.

Heat.

[Music]

Heat.

People

like you

find it easy

naked to see

[Music]

walking on air.

[Music]

Hunting by the rivers, through the

trees, every corner

[Music]

up too soon.

Sit down with you.

Don't walk away

[Music]

in silence.

Don't walk away.

[Music]