Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:17,171 --> 00:00:20,755
Boys? I'm freaking out here.
I'm freaking out.
2
00:00:20,838 --> 00:00:24,921
We ate three pounds of fuckin' mushrooms.
Like, we're stuck in a cartoon world here.
3
00:00:25,005 --> 00:00:27,505
Bubs, listen to me.
Everything's gonna be cool, okay?
4
00:00:27,671 --> 00:00:30,921
We'll just ride this out like
we usually do when we get too fucked up.
5
00:00:32,255 --> 00:00:35,671
Fuckin' right we will, and we'll enjoy
every goddamn minute of this, too.
6
00:00:35,755 --> 00:00:38,796
Boys, I have always dreamt
of being this high.
7
00:00:39,130 --> 00:00:40,213
Thank you, Jesus God.
8
00:00:40,380 --> 00:00:43,338
Hey, my son likes cartoons.
He'll think this is really cool.
9
00:00:43,505 --> 00:00:46,713
Except he's not gonna know, dummy!
He's not on fuckin' mushrooms.
10
00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:49,713
You guys! Number five, okay!
11
00:00:49,796 --> 00:00:51,421
Mr. Lahey, what are you doing?
12
00:00:54,005 --> 00:00:56,338
Don't worry,
everything's gonna be all right, sir.
13
00:00:57,005 --> 00:00:58,671
My neck doesn't feel as broke.
14
00:00:58,921 --> 00:01:03,046
Hey, if we're a cartoon, we can be like
Bugs Bunny and run through walls and shit!
15
00:01:04,838 --> 00:01:07,963
Oh fuck, that might be the stupidest thing
you've ever fuckin' done.
16
00:01:08,046 --> 00:01:11,130
What next, draw a tunnel on the wall
like Wildy the fuckin' Coyote?
17
00:01:11,213 --> 00:01:14,213
Can't do that. A big fuckin' truck
will drive in and run us over.
18
00:01:14,296 --> 00:01:17,296
Boys, fuckin' listen to yourselves!
What are you talking about?
19
00:01:17,380 --> 00:01:20,005
We're seriously fucked up here.
We need to go to hospital.
20
00:01:20,088 --> 00:01:22,588
-We need help!
-Bubs, would you calm the fuck down?
21
00:01:22,671 --> 00:01:25,630
-You calm down, Julian!
-Calm down. Just relax, okay? Relax!
22
00:01:25,713 --> 00:01:28,588
Yeah, listen. This jail cell
is the perfect place for us to ride
23
00:01:28,671 --> 00:01:30,880
-whatever the fuck this is out.
-Here we're safe.
24
00:01:30,963 --> 00:01:32,380
I fuckin' promise you.
25
00:01:32,671 --> 00:01:34,255
Good news, boys.
26
00:01:34,505 --> 00:01:35,630
You're free to go.
27
00:01:35,713 --> 00:01:37,005
-What?
-Oh, my fuck!
28
00:01:38,213 --> 00:01:40,755
You better thank your buddy Jacob
for breaking his neck.
29
00:01:40,963 --> 00:01:44,588
I milked that injury,
and a few dollars changed hands.
30
00:01:44,796 --> 00:01:46,505
It obviously wasn't cheap, though.
31
00:01:46,588 --> 00:01:51,130
Five, well, let's say six G's,
and I'll need that by Friday.
32
00:01:51,213 --> 00:01:52,630
A good deal, if you ask me.
33
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:57,005
Oh, my fuck, yeah. So much for
riding it out in a safe place, eh, boys?
34
00:01:57,296 --> 00:02:00,713
Oh, my fuck, now we have to go back out
into the real world,
35
00:02:00,796 --> 00:02:04,588
higher than probably anybody's ever been
in the history of the human fuckin' race.
36
00:02:04,755 --> 00:02:06,713
Holy shit, you're right!
37
00:02:06,921 --> 00:02:08,671
This is so fucking cool.
38
00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:11,713
We're like pioneers,
just like those astro cocksuckers
39
00:02:11,796 --> 00:02:13,463
who walked the moon the first time.
40
00:02:59,921 --> 00:03:01,255
This is fucking cool.
41
00:03:02,088 --> 00:03:04,421
Holy shit, the whole world's a cartoon.
42
00:03:05,338 --> 00:03:06,755
This is trippy.
43
00:03:09,171 --> 00:03:12,213
Oh, my God, listen to my arms
making cool fuckin' cartoon sounds.
44
00:03:12,296 --> 00:03:14,838
Ricky, stop it! Stop it, please!
45
00:03:15,088 --> 00:03:18,671
Boys, we gotta get to the hospital.
Like, we might not ever come out of this.
46
00:03:19,005 --> 00:03:22,213
That's not a bad idea.
I should probably get my neck checked out.
47
00:03:22,296 --> 00:03:25,546
Oh, my fuck, you're stupid, Jacob.
Nobody's going to the hospital.
48
00:03:25,630 --> 00:03:28,755
If we go to the hospital, they'll fuckin'
lock us up in a looney bin.
49
00:03:28,838 --> 00:03:29,713
Exactly.
50
00:03:29,796 --> 00:03:33,005
Boys, please stop ruining this.
We may never get this high again!
51
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,255
I just want to enjoy the shit out of it,
please!
52
00:03:36,755 --> 00:03:38,880
I wish Bubbles would just chill
the fuck out.
53
00:03:38,963 --> 00:03:42,088
How many people would give their left nut
to be a fuckin' cartoon?
54
00:03:42,171 --> 00:03:43,380
He's complaining about it!
55
00:03:43,463 --> 00:03:46,505
You don't see Daphne Duck complaining
about being a fuckin' cartoon.
56
00:03:46,588 --> 00:03:49,171
This is a thing that only happens once
in a people's lives
57
00:03:49,421 --> 00:03:52,338
and I want to enjoy the fuck
out of every second. I deserve this.
58
00:03:53,088 --> 00:03:55,046
I'm not the kind of person
that gets scared,
59
00:03:55,130 --> 00:03:57,421
but right now I'm a little fuckin' scared.
60
00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:00,005
But, ya know, I gotta take control
of the situation,
61
00:04:00,088 --> 00:04:01,630
get everybody back to the park
62
00:04:01,713 --> 00:04:04,255
before everything
gets even fuckin' crazier.
63
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:07,838
Nah, dude, that's bigger.
It's definitely bigger. No question.
64
00:04:08,171 --> 00:04:09,255
Do you really think so?
65
00:04:09,338 --> 00:04:11,505
Yeah totally, dude,
it wasn't that thick before.
66
00:04:11,588 --> 00:04:13,671
Holy shit, check mine out, boys!
67
00:04:13,755 --> 00:04:16,171
It's fuckin' longer
and it's definitely thicker.
68
00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:18,463
Let's see how big they get
when we get them hard.
69
00:04:18,546 --> 00:04:19,796
Okay, listen up, everybody.
70
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:22,171
Put your dicks away,
nobody's getting hard today.
71
00:04:22,255 --> 00:04:24,296
Right, everything's fucked up right now,
okay?
72
00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:25,296
Really fucked.
73
00:04:25,380 --> 00:04:28,296
We don't know what everybody else
is seeing, so we gotta act cool
74
00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:29,755
until we get back to the park,
75
00:04:29,838 --> 00:04:32,213
then we'll drink and smoke
this fuckin' buzz-on away.
76
00:04:33,130 --> 00:04:34,630
How're we getting home, guys?
77
00:04:35,421 --> 00:04:37,921
I'll show you how we're getting
home there, carrot cum.
78
00:04:38,005 --> 00:04:39,546
No, Ricky. No, please!
79
00:04:41,630 --> 00:04:42,963
You're friggin' nuts, Ricky.
80
00:04:43,046 --> 00:04:44,505
We want nothing to do with this.
81
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:47,630
We'll find our own way back to the park,
right, Mr. Lahey?
82
00:04:47,713 --> 00:04:52,088
Randy, we gotta head to the LC,
let the liquor figure this out.
83
00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:57,713
-Fuck me hard! Fuck!
-Jesus Christ, Ricky!
84
00:04:57,796 --> 00:05:00,546
You just saw fuckin' ding dong
try to run through a wall
85
00:05:00,630 --> 00:05:02,838
and almost split his head open
like a coconut!
86
00:05:02,963 --> 00:05:06,213
Look, let's just assume that the rules
of the fuckin' real world
87
00:05:06,296 --> 00:05:07,838
still apply here, please.
88
00:05:08,213 --> 00:05:10,505
Actually, you know what? It looks fucked,
89
00:05:10,588 --> 00:05:14,380
but it actually doesn't even
really hurt that much. Jacob, let's go.
90
00:05:15,255 --> 00:05:17,505
Not those, dummy.
I meant the fuckin' shirt.
91
00:05:19,046 --> 00:05:19,880
Sorry, Ricky.
92
00:05:27,380 --> 00:05:28,380
Fuck, yeah!
93
00:05:28,463 --> 00:05:30,213
Look what I found, boys! Free gun.
94
00:05:30,296 --> 00:05:31,671
This is the best day ever!
95
00:05:31,755 --> 00:05:33,963
-Ricky--
-Would you put that fuckin' thing away?
96
00:05:34,088 --> 00:05:36,296
Okay, everybody in.
Let's get back to the park!
97
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:39,338
You guys sure you don't want a ride?
98
00:05:39,546 --> 00:05:41,963
There's plenty of room in the trunk
or up on the roof!
99
00:05:42,046 --> 00:05:44,505
Let's do it, Mr. Lahey.
There's probably no bus coming.
100
00:05:44,588 --> 00:05:46,921
-We could spoon in the trunk.
-Randy.
101
00:05:47,546 --> 00:05:48,796
Okay, pop it, Ricky.
102
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:50,880
How about I pop a fuck you!
103
00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,213
Frig off, Ricky!
104
00:05:56,838 --> 00:05:58,588
Look, I know we're frigged up, sir,
105
00:05:58,671 --> 00:06:00,796
but we're gonna get us through this.
Together.
106
00:06:01,963 --> 00:06:03,963
What the frig is happening, Mr. Lahey?
107
00:06:04,505 --> 00:06:05,755
What's that noise?
108
00:06:05,963 --> 00:06:08,338
Shithawks. Big shithawks.
109
00:06:08,921 --> 00:06:11,255
Look, Randers! They're coming, bud.
110
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,338
What the frig are you talking about,
Mr. Lahey?
111
00:06:15,755 --> 00:06:17,046
This can't be happening.
112
00:06:17,130 --> 00:06:18,296
It's not real!
113
00:06:18,671 --> 00:06:19,671
Randy?
114
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,005
No! Mr. Lahey!
115
00:06:22,088 --> 00:06:23,171
I love you, bud!
116
00:06:23,421 --> 00:06:26,713
No! Let Mr. Lahey go,
you dirty shit beast!
117
00:06:28,171 --> 00:06:29,463
Mr. Lahey!
118
00:06:29,755 --> 00:06:32,838
Randers! It's wonderful, bud!
119
00:06:33,213 --> 00:06:35,213
No!
120
00:06:36,588 --> 00:06:37,421
Frig!
121
00:06:39,005 --> 00:06:40,796
Oh, my fuck, this car has some balls.
122
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,880
I'd love to have
one of these fuckin' things.
123
00:06:42,963 --> 00:06:45,421
Would you smarten the hell up?
We can't draw attention.
124
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:46,588
What, like this?
125
00:06:47,130 --> 00:06:48,880
-Ricky--
-What the fuck? Smarten up!
126
00:06:48,963 --> 00:06:51,171
Ricky! Stop gunning!
I'm gonna have a mouth-shit!
127
00:06:51,255 --> 00:06:53,213
Jesus Christ, okay, take it easy.
128
00:06:55,671 --> 00:06:58,296
Well, lookie who it fuckin' is.
129
00:06:58,588 --> 00:06:59,671
Fuck sakes.
130
00:06:59,755 --> 00:07:02,421
Hey Ricky, I got a fuckin' joke for ya!
131
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:05,755
How many fruits can ya fit
in a fuckin' muscle car?
132
00:07:05,838 --> 00:07:08,713
I don't know, cocklips,
how many fucks can you fit in an off?
133
00:07:08,838 --> 00:07:11,046
Look, Cyrus,
we don't want any trouble, man.
134
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:12,630
Oh, is that right?
135
00:07:12,796 --> 00:07:17,171
Well, I guess you pulled up to the wrong
fuckin' stoplight then, didn't ya? Pussy!
136
00:07:17,255 --> 00:07:19,005
What the fuck did you just call me?
137
00:07:19,088 --> 00:07:20,421
Julian, just let it go!
138
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:28,130
Ricky, fuck off! Don't get goaded
into a race by this fuckin' shit-kabob!
139
00:07:28,338 --> 00:07:29,338
I can't help it.
140
00:07:29,421 --> 00:07:30,796
Hold on tight, nipple-heads.
141
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,380
We'll show this cockless pussy bitch
you're not a pussy!
142
00:07:33,463 --> 00:07:35,630
-He's the pussy. Fuck him!
-Ricky!
143
00:07:38,046 --> 00:07:39,421
Fuck!
144
00:07:46,755 --> 00:07:47,671
Fuck!
145
00:07:48,046 --> 00:07:49,255
Oh, yeah, fuckin' great!
146
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:52,796
We're out of jail 15 minutes
and now we're getting chased by the cops!
147
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,588
Way to go, Ricky, nice one!
148
00:07:54,671 --> 00:07:58,005
Hold onto your tits, ladies.
We're going to try some Duke boys shit.
149
00:07:58,171 --> 00:08:00,171
Jesus Christ, Ricky! No!
150
00:08:00,505 --> 00:08:02,671
Ah, shit, fucked her, boys!
Brace for impact!
151
00:08:02,755 --> 00:08:04,171
Ricky!
152
00:08:08,505 --> 00:08:10,671
Oh, my fuck, I was thrown clear!
153
00:08:11,213 --> 00:08:12,380
That sucked.
154
00:08:12,546 --> 00:08:14,088
For fuck sakes, Ricky.
155
00:08:16,088 --> 00:08:17,255
Is everyone okay?
156
00:08:18,546 --> 00:08:19,380
Yeah.
157
00:08:19,463 --> 00:08:21,005
Fuck, Jacob, are you dead?
158
00:08:22,005 --> 00:08:25,421
I think my neck might be broken,
like way worse.
159
00:08:25,921 --> 00:08:27,880
-Jesus Murphy!
-Holy fuck!
160
00:08:27,963 --> 00:08:31,421
I don't think your neck should do that.
I'm not doctor or anything, but dude.
161
00:08:31,505 --> 00:08:34,296
You know what, Jacob? Just stop
fuckin' complaining right now.
162
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:35,838
Your neck was already broken,
163
00:08:35,921 --> 00:08:39,088
you can still walk, you're still breathing
aren't you? What the fuck?
164
00:08:39,171 --> 00:08:42,421
That jump was totally awesome!
You almost landed that shit.
165
00:08:42,505 --> 00:08:44,755
-Hurrah!
-You're fuckin' right I did.
166
00:08:46,130 --> 00:08:48,588
-Oh, Jesus!
-Fuck me!
167
00:08:48,671 --> 00:08:50,255
Oh, man, check that shit out!
168
00:08:50,338 --> 00:08:53,171
Cory, don't move!
You're in fuckin' shock, bud!
169
00:08:53,255 --> 00:08:55,130
Oh, man, that is dope!
170
00:08:55,255 --> 00:08:57,130
Damn, I couldn't do this before! Look!
171
00:08:57,213 --> 00:08:58,213
I'm a windmill--
172
00:08:59,755 --> 00:09:02,130
-Dope.
-Oh, my fuck! It came off!
173
00:09:02,213 --> 00:09:03,630
Jesus Christ!
174
00:09:09,255 --> 00:09:10,588
Hands where I can see 'em!
175
00:09:10,671 --> 00:09:12,171
Let's go! Now!
176
00:09:12,255 --> 00:09:13,755
Fuck sakes. Let me handle this.
177
00:09:14,005 --> 00:09:15,380
Hey, guys, how's it going?
178
00:09:15,505 --> 00:09:17,463
Just wanna say I love your fuckin' show.
179
00:09:17,546 --> 00:09:19,796
I'm a huge Cagney & Gacey fan.
180
00:09:19,963 --> 00:09:23,296
I'm Trevor Laheyson,
this is Randy Cory right here and--
181
00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:25,255
Stay right there. Don't move!
182
00:09:25,338 --> 00:09:28,921
No, you don't fuckin' move! I want
your fuckin' badge numbers right now.
183
00:09:29,005 --> 00:09:30,255
I said don't move!
184
00:09:30,338 --> 00:09:33,130
You chill the fuck out.
I'm not moving there, dick flap.
185
00:09:33,338 --> 00:09:34,755
Look, I'm gonna call your boss,
186
00:09:34,838 --> 00:09:37,255
tell him you're being sued
for third party dummy-ism.
187
00:09:37,338 --> 00:09:38,921
Do you see his fucking neck, guys?
188
00:09:39,005 --> 00:09:41,255
And look at this guy's fuckin' arm!
What the fuck?
189
00:09:41,338 --> 00:09:42,796
Christ, what the fuck?
190
00:09:42,921 --> 00:09:44,213
Holy shit!
191
00:09:44,296 --> 00:09:45,630
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
192
00:09:45,713 --> 00:09:48,005
Trying to get my son-of-law
to fucking hospital,
193
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,588
and that's why we were speeding.
194
00:09:49,671 --> 00:09:53,296
But yous had to be all fuckin' cop-like,
all fuckin' cool, chasing us, didn't ya?
195
00:09:53,380 --> 00:09:55,421
You should've chased
the red fuckin' Corvette.
196
00:09:55,505 --> 00:09:57,421
That asshole fired a fuckin' gun at us!
197
00:09:57,630 --> 00:10:00,005
The other driver fired a handgun at you?
198
00:10:00,088 --> 00:10:01,588
That what you're telling me, sir?
199
00:10:01,671 --> 00:10:03,130
-Yes!
-Yes, he did, sir.
200
00:10:03,213 --> 00:10:07,838
-And I'm pretty sure his name is Cyrus.
-It is. It is Cyrus, 100%.
201
00:10:08,046 --> 00:10:09,255
Cyrus MacDougall?
202
00:10:09,338 --> 00:10:10,755
Yeah, that fucking dick.
203
00:10:10,838 --> 00:10:13,546
Anyway, little Brian here's probably
gonna bleed out now,
204
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:15,505
and Randy here is gonna have a paralyze.
205
00:10:15,588 --> 00:10:17,338
Way to go, boys. Way to fucking go.
206
00:10:17,421 --> 00:10:20,296
-Jesus, we're sorry.
-We'll get you to the hospital, ASAP.
207
00:10:23,171 --> 00:10:25,046
Where are the guys? Aren't they back yet?
208
00:10:25,130 --> 00:10:27,546
What the fuck are you talking about?
They're out?
209
00:10:27,630 --> 00:10:29,630
Yeah, they left jail before I did!
210
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,005
Randy, what the hell are you doing?
211
00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:34,296
I'm looking for one of Ricky's guns.
212
00:10:34,380 --> 00:10:36,796
I can't get into it, but a giant shithawk
took Mr. Lahey
213
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:38,255
and I need to save him.
214
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:43,130
What? You fuckin' assholes,
were you sniffing glue at the jail
215
00:10:43,255 --> 00:10:45,838
or huffing on a goddamn exhaust pipe?
216
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:49,005
"Giant shithawk." Yeah, okay.
217
00:10:49,088 --> 00:10:50,505
I'm friggin' serious!
218
00:10:50,588 --> 00:10:51,588
I need a gun!
219
00:10:51,671 --> 00:10:52,713
Where are they, Trin?
220
00:10:52,796 --> 00:10:54,838
I don't fucking know
where Dad keeps his guns.
221
00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:57,588
He has them hidden
ever since Mo shot his bag off.
222
00:10:57,671 --> 00:11:01,838
Okay, fine, thanks a lot!
Thanks for all your friggin' help!
223
00:11:05,171 --> 00:11:07,630
Excuse me! Out of the way!
Coming through, people!
224
00:11:07,713 --> 00:11:09,921
We have a serious medical emergency here.
225
00:11:10,005 --> 00:11:13,671
Sir, you need to calm down
and wait in line like everyone else!
226
00:11:14,005 --> 00:11:15,963
Tell me you are fucking blind!
227
00:11:16,046 --> 00:11:18,463
His fuckin' arm's ripped off,
his neck's on backwards.
228
00:11:18,546 --> 00:11:21,713
We need serious medical help here,
right the fuck now, you idiot.
229
00:11:21,796 --> 00:11:23,713
And is there someone we might speak to
230
00:11:23,796 --> 00:11:26,171
about a possible overdose
on psilocybin fungi?
231
00:11:26,255 --> 00:11:30,005
Boys, that's enough!
Look, ma'am, nobody's high here, okay?
232
00:11:30,171 --> 00:11:32,046
We're just here for these two idiots.
233
00:11:32,838 --> 00:11:36,505
My arm's starting to turn purple like that
Dino dog on The Flintstones.
234
00:11:36,588 --> 00:11:38,796
-Is that normal?
-No, it's not normal.
235
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:42,338
I need you to fill out some paperwork
and we'll get to you as soon as we can.
236
00:11:44,255 --> 00:11:46,338
Cory, what the fuck are you trying to do?
237
00:11:46,588 --> 00:11:47,796
I'm right-handed, dude.
238
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,213
Ma'am, we don't have time
for this shit right now.
239
00:11:50,296 --> 00:11:54,005
This is a medical emergency. I mean,
look at his arm, it's fuckin' dying!
240
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:58,713
Well, unfortunately you picked a bad day
to have a medical emergency, sir.
241
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:04,755
-Oh, my fuck.
-Jesus, that is bad.
242
00:12:07,505 --> 00:12:09,505
T, boys, you've got to help me!
243
00:12:09,755 --> 00:12:12,088
What happened, Randy,
your water break or something?
244
00:12:12,338 --> 00:12:14,630
Very funny T. I need a gun!
245
00:12:15,005 --> 00:12:16,755
Gun? The fuck you need a gun for?
246
00:12:17,088 --> 00:12:18,296
Mr. Lahey's in trouble.
247
00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:21,338
A giant shithawk swooped down
out of the sky and picked him up,
248
00:12:21,421 --> 00:12:24,463
-took him away to a giant shit nest--
-Beach ball man is fucked!
249
00:12:27,171 --> 00:12:30,671
I need it for seagulls, 'cause they're
pecking at my friggin' trash again.
250
00:12:30,755 --> 00:12:33,838
All right, seagulls.
I hate them white motherfuckers.
251
00:12:34,338 --> 00:12:35,755
Here you go, Dirty Fairy.
252
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:39,005
I got this gun off your mama.
Don't lose it, 'cause it's my favorite.
253
00:12:39,630 --> 00:12:40,588
No way, T.
254
00:12:40,671 --> 00:12:43,171
I want the biggest gun you got
with lots of bullets.
255
00:12:43,255 --> 00:12:45,755
Whoa, hang on, chill the fuck out,
Blade Gutter!
256
00:12:45,838 --> 00:12:47,796
Yeah, dog, that shit's loaded.
257
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:50,380
Green, grab this crazy motherfucker
one of the choppers.
258
00:12:50,463 --> 00:12:51,421
The choppers?
259
00:12:51,713 --> 00:12:56,005
Here, Randy, you crazy bitch.
Shit's cocked and loaded, so be careful.
260
00:12:56,088 --> 00:12:59,046
I'm not a friggin' idiot.
I know how to handle a gun perf--
261
00:13:01,838 --> 00:13:04,255
-Something wrong with you?! Jeez!
-What in the fuck?!
262
00:13:04,338 --> 00:13:06,880
You know what?
I think I will take the small gun.
263
00:13:06,963 --> 00:13:07,880
You think?
264
00:13:10,588 --> 00:13:12,296
Shit, dudes, I'm oreo-ing.
265
00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:14,630
Oh my fuck. Just relax, Corey, okay?
266
00:13:14,713 --> 00:13:15,838
Excuse me, ma'am.
267
00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:17,630
How many more people ahead of us now?
268
00:13:18,588 --> 00:13:19,421
Seventeen.
269
00:13:19,505 --> 00:13:21,296
-All right, fuck this. See this?
-Ricky!
270
00:13:21,380 --> 00:13:23,546
We're moving to the top
of the fuckin' list now.
271
00:13:23,630 --> 00:13:26,588
My friend Cory needs to see a doctor
or he's going to fucking die!
272
00:13:26,671 --> 00:13:29,505
-Ricky, put the fuckin' gun away.
-You need to leave right now!
273
00:13:29,588 --> 00:13:30,463
Calling security.
274
00:13:30,546 --> 00:13:32,255
Ricky! Put the fuckin' gun away.
275
00:13:32,338 --> 00:13:34,046
Put the fuckin' phone down right now.
276
00:13:34,130 --> 00:13:36,838
-Put the fuckin' phone down or...
-Or what?
277
00:13:36,921 --> 00:13:38,838
Or I'll blow his other fuckin' hand off
278
00:13:38,921 --> 00:13:41,671
and you'll have two blown-off hands
to deal with, how's that?
279
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:43,838
Ah, you fucking asshole!
280
00:13:43,921 --> 00:13:47,380
-Security! Front desk!
-Motherfuck-- son of a motherfucking--
281
00:13:47,463 --> 00:13:50,463
God damn it, Ricky!
All right, everybody out! Let's go! Move!
282
00:13:50,546 --> 00:13:52,130
-How bad am I burnt?
-Just move!
283
00:13:52,213 --> 00:13:53,880
You look like a half-chewed caramel!
284
00:13:56,171 --> 00:13:57,380
Fuck, that was mean!
285
00:13:57,463 --> 00:13:59,338
What kind of fucking plan was that,
Ricky?
286
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,421
You look like a piece of Korean barbecue.
287
00:14:01,505 --> 00:14:02,796
It wasn't my fuckin' fault.
288
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:06,130
Normally when you point a gun at someone,
they do what the fuck you ask.
289
00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:07,630
Fuck, that got burnt me!
290
00:14:07,796 --> 00:14:11,421
Oh, this is just fucking great.
What are we gonna do now, boys?
291
00:14:11,505 --> 00:14:14,255
Cory's arm is turning into
a goddamned zombie
292
00:14:14,338 --> 00:14:16,505
and that's the only hospital
for 100 miles.
293
00:14:16,588 --> 00:14:19,713
You know what, just throw the disgusting
fucking thing in the garbage,
294
00:14:19,796 --> 00:14:21,713
It's no good anymore. It stinks.
295
00:14:21,796 --> 00:14:23,213
It's done. We tried!
296
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:27,338
Ricky, it's his arm! We gotta get
the fuckin' thing sewn back on.
297
00:14:27,421 --> 00:14:28,671
What are we gonna do here?
298
00:14:28,755 --> 00:14:30,046
For fuck sakes.
299
00:14:30,380 --> 00:14:34,588
Well, I hate to say it, boys, but there's
really only one other option right now.
300
00:14:37,255 --> 00:14:39,463
Seriously? We're going to Sam Losco's?
301
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:43,088
What other option do we have, huh?
Just hurry up and get him inside.
302
00:14:43,171 --> 00:14:46,005
Ah, fuck, Cory, you're starting
to look whiter than Jacob, man.
303
00:14:46,171 --> 00:14:49,713
No! Please don't let me turn white, dudes,
I'd rather die!
304
00:14:54,255 --> 00:14:55,380
How can I help you?
305
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:57,088
We need you to re-attach this.
306
00:14:57,255 --> 00:15:00,130
No fucking way, Julian!
Not this time, man.
307
00:15:00,338 --> 00:15:03,463
Jesus Christ, Sam,
we go through this every time.
308
00:15:03,546 --> 00:15:06,296
You're not gonna make me take out
my fuckin' gun, are ya?
309
00:15:06,380 --> 00:15:07,213
Come on, Sam.
310
00:15:07,296 --> 00:15:10,046
Look, I know we fucked you around a bit
in the past, but...
311
00:15:10,255 --> 00:15:12,755
Cory's arm is off, this is serious!
312
00:15:12,838 --> 00:15:15,796
Yeah, man, stop being a dick!
We'll fuckin' do anything here.
313
00:15:19,755 --> 00:15:22,421
Oh, whoa, man, is it ever pink and shit!
314
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:25,713
Lord sacred mother of all
that's fuckin' holy.
315
00:15:26,255 --> 00:15:29,380
I will never be able
to eat roast beef again.
316
00:15:29,463 --> 00:15:30,880
What the fuck is that?
317
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:33,255
Well, I was out in the woods
shooting a demo
318
00:15:33,338 --> 00:15:35,796
to apply for that Naked and Afraid show,
319
00:15:35,963 --> 00:15:39,005
and, well, I made a few bad decisions,
and long story short,
320
00:15:39,088 --> 00:15:40,838
a bear ripped my cock off and ate it.
321
00:15:41,171 --> 00:15:43,005
Doctors tried to reconstruct it,
322
00:15:43,088 --> 00:15:46,588
but all they could really do was build
a flap thing here to cover the hole.
323
00:15:46,671 --> 00:15:48,630
First time I ever saw a doctor throw up.
324
00:15:48,713 --> 00:15:51,463
It kinda looks like an axe wound
on a gorilla's back.
325
00:15:51,546 --> 00:15:52,963
Yeah, or a fuckin'--
326
00:15:53,088 --> 00:15:55,796
Like an octopus head
with somethin' through it or such.
327
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,838
Or really bad road rash.
328
00:15:57,921 --> 00:16:00,505
Looks like you laid
on a cranberried cupcake, dude.
329
00:16:00,588 --> 00:16:02,296
Why the fuck are you showing us that?
330
00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:05,171
You of all people should know,
you don't get anything for free
331
00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:06,588
in this fuckin' life, Julian.
332
00:16:06,671 --> 00:16:09,213
You want the arm sewed back on,
lock the door.
333
00:16:09,296 --> 00:16:11,130
Maybe we can work something out.
334
00:16:14,005 --> 00:16:16,005
Mr. Lahey?
335
00:16:16,963 --> 00:16:18,213
Sir?
336
00:16:19,963 --> 00:16:21,880
Mr. Lahey?
337
00:16:24,755 --> 00:16:26,088
Shithawk shit!
338
00:16:27,296 --> 00:16:29,130
There's Mr. Lahey's sunglasses!
339
00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:31,380
Stupid friggin' shithawk.
340
00:16:31,838 --> 00:16:34,755
Mr. Lahey meant a lot to me
and you just took him from me!
341
00:16:34,921 --> 00:16:36,963
You know what? Just come and take me!
342
00:16:37,046 --> 00:16:40,338
Take me too, you ugly, flying shit bird!
343
00:16:42,838 --> 00:16:44,505
Oh, frig! Oh, frig!
344
00:16:47,171 --> 00:16:48,171
Frig off!
345
00:16:52,630 --> 00:16:55,380
I wasn't serious. Leave me the frig alone!
346
00:16:55,463 --> 00:16:58,755
It was a figure of friggin' speech!
For frig sakes!
347
00:17:02,338 --> 00:17:03,713
Holy crap, that was close.
348
00:17:05,588 --> 00:17:06,796
Shitwinds.
349
00:17:07,255 --> 00:17:08,463
Randy...
350
00:17:08,671 --> 00:17:09,796
Mr. Lahey?
351
00:17:10,588 --> 00:17:12,588
Is that you? Where are you?
352
00:17:13,713 --> 00:17:16,380
Use... the liquor.
353
00:17:17,046 --> 00:17:19,005
The liquor? Get some liquor?
354
00:17:19,088 --> 00:17:21,005
Is that what you're saying, Mr. Lahey?
355
00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:24,755
Mr. Lahey?
356
00:17:25,421 --> 00:17:28,880
Just so we're crystal clear here,
what exactly are you asking for?
357
00:17:29,088 --> 00:17:31,755
Look, you guys know me.
I'm a horny fucker.
358
00:17:31,838 --> 00:17:35,046
But I haven't been able to get off
for months now, I'm dying.
359
00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:38,046
This is almost healed, I just need
someone to help me figure out,
360
00:17:38,130 --> 00:17:40,755
you know, how it works,
which buttons to push, et cetera.
361
00:17:41,046 --> 00:17:45,630
Whoa, are you asking one of us
to bang that scarred-up, swampy mess?
362
00:17:45,713 --> 00:17:48,630
I don't know, bang it, finger it,
lick it, whatever it takes.
363
00:17:48,713 --> 00:17:50,671
Or, you can throw Cory's arm
in the garbage,
364
00:17:50,755 --> 00:17:52,296
we all go home and call it a day.
365
00:17:52,546 --> 00:17:53,963
Jesus Christ.
366
00:17:54,213 --> 00:17:55,630
Listen, I know this is fucked,
367
00:17:55,713 --> 00:17:58,380
but Cory's arm is not gonna
last much longer here, okay?
368
00:17:58,463 --> 00:18:00,380
Someone's gotta take one
for the team here.
369
00:18:01,255 --> 00:18:02,921
What? What, me?
370
00:18:03,130 --> 00:18:05,421
No fuckin' way, boys, not a chance.
371
00:18:05,546 --> 00:18:09,213
There's no way my first time doing it
is gonna involve fiddlin' around
372
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:11,255
with Sam Losco's mystery hole!
373
00:18:11,338 --> 00:18:13,213
It'd be like bangin' a lasagna!
374
00:18:13,338 --> 00:18:15,671
Well, clearly I can't do it.
I've only got one hand.
375
00:18:15,755 --> 00:18:17,463
I guess I'm out too, dude.
376
00:18:17,713 --> 00:18:20,255
Guys, I'll do it.
I mean, I'm not gonna let Cory die.
377
00:18:20,338 --> 00:18:22,546
My head's twisted around,
I won't see him anyway.
378
00:18:22,630 --> 00:18:24,171
Sounds good to me. Let's go.
379
00:18:24,255 --> 00:18:25,921
Wait! Fuck!
380
00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:27,630
Jacob can't do it.
381
00:18:27,713 --> 00:18:29,005
He'd be cheating on Trinity,
382
00:18:29,088 --> 00:18:31,713
and she'd be pissed at me
not protecting her fuckin' honor.
383
00:18:31,921 --> 00:18:33,171
Jesus Christ.
384
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,463
I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but...
385
00:18:35,546 --> 00:18:38,671
Sam, I won't fuck you,
but I'll finger you.
386
00:18:38,963 --> 00:18:39,963
Deal!
387
00:18:40,046 --> 00:18:42,921
-Where do you want me to do it?
-In my new hole, of course.
388
00:18:43,046 --> 00:18:44,671
I fuckin' know that. What room?
389
00:18:45,671 --> 00:18:46,630
Oh, right in here.
390
00:18:46,713 --> 00:18:48,963
There's little a table with stirrups
all set up.
391
00:18:49,046 --> 00:18:51,088
This is so fucked!
392
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:53,171
Cory, this is your fuckin' fault, man!
393
00:18:53,255 --> 00:18:55,255
You're coming with me.
I might need a hand.
394
00:18:55,755 --> 00:18:56,921
Turn off the lights.
395
00:18:58,630 --> 00:19:00,505
I'm sorry I let you down, sir.
396
00:19:01,088 --> 00:19:04,713
We had our stupid fights and breakups
but you were always there for me,
397
00:19:06,005 --> 00:19:07,380
even when you were wasted.
398
00:19:07,838 --> 00:19:09,588
Which was most of the time.
399
00:19:10,546 --> 00:19:13,296
I can't believe I'll never see you again,
sir.
400
00:19:15,838 --> 00:19:17,463
You're the love of my life.
401
00:19:19,588 --> 00:19:20,463
Frig it!
402
00:19:26,213 --> 00:19:27,380
Mr. Lahey?
403
00:19:27,838 --> 00:19:29,088
What's happening?
404
00:19:29,171 --> 00:19:32,755
I'm in a good place,
not a care in the world.
405
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:35,046
Where? Are you real?
406
00:19:36,755 --> 00:19:37,630
Randy.
407
00:19:38,255 --> 00:19:40,755
The park's yours. All of it.
408
00:19:41,421 --> 00:19:43,463
It's what I've always wanted, sir,
409
00:19:43,796 --> 00:19:46,630
but it won't be the same if you're
not here to share it with me
410
00:19:46,713 --> 00:19:47,588
and be proud of me.
411
00:19:48,171 --> 00:19:49,588
I got your back, bud.
412
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:52,005
I don't know if I can do it all alone.
413
00:19:52,338 --> 00:19:53,755
Turn to the liquor.
414
00:19:53,921 --> 00:19:55,921
Let the liquor figure this out.
415
00:19:56,255 --> 00:19:57,671
I love you, Randy!
416
00:19:58,088 --> 00:19:59,588
I love you too, sir.
417
00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:03,546
I won't let you down, Mr. Lahey.
418
00:20:04,630 --> 00:20:05,463
Yep.
419
00:20:06,463 --> 00:20:08,671
Hey, Ricky, did you get a Kit Kat on him?
420
00:20:08,755 --> 00:20:10,838
A Kit Kat? What the fuck is that, Bubs?
421
00:20:10,921 --> 00:20:11,921
Four fingers!
422
00:20:12,546 --> 00:20:14,796
What kind of speed did you
get going there, buddy?
423
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:18,171
Why don't you two lick my fuckin' balls?
I had to finger him for Trinity.
424
00:20:18,255 --> 00:20:20,255
That's the shit you do
when you're a parent.
425
00:20:21,088 --> 00:20:23,921
You were fucking good, too.
I came like seven times.
426
00:20:24,005 --> 00:20:25,921
Seven? You fucking asshole!
427
00:20:26,005 --> 00:20:28,921
-You should've stopped me after one!
-But you were so good!
428
00:20:29,005 --> 00:20:30,796
I wanted to see if I was a squirter.
429
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,171
What're you doing Friday night?
Second date, buddy?
430
00:20:33,255 --> 00:20:34,505
Fuck you, Sam.
431
00:20:35,046 --> 00:20:36,380
Okay. Done.
432
00:20:36,505 --> 00:20:37,546
Arm's as good as new.
433
00:20:37,630 --> 00:20:40,130
Just let the glue dry
and the stitches heal for 24 hours
434
00:20:40,213 --> 00:20:41,713
before you start jackin' with it.
435
00:20:41,796 --> 00:20:43,505
Dope. Thanks S-Dog.
436
00:20:44,171 --> 00:20:47,005
Wait, what's going on with my hand?
I can't open that shit.
437
00:20:47,088 --> 00:20:48,380
Oh, that's nerve damage.
438
00:20:48,463 --> 00:20:50,880
It'll come back at some point. Hopefully.
439
00:20:50,963 --> 00:20:52,671
Put your fuckin' arm down, Cory.
440
00:20:53,380 --> 00:20:55,505
Holy fuck, he's like a slot machine!
441
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:58,005
Oh, yeah, there's some muscle damage
as well, but...
442
00:20:58,088 --> 00:21:00,213
-you know, it should work itself out.
-Dope!
443
00:21:00,338 --> 00:21:02,255
It's like "power to the people" shit.
444
00:21:02,338 --> 00:21:03,630
Black power, motherfucker.
445
00:21:03,713 --> 00:21:05,671
Hey, guys? What about my neck?
446
00:21:08,338 --> 00:21:10,463
Okay, boys,
it's time to override this buzz-on
447
00:21:10,546 --> 00:21:12,213
and get things back to normal.
448
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:16,505
Ricky, you might want to disinfect
your hand before you manhandle the joint.
449
00:21:16,755 --> 00:21:19,130
I'd use fuckin' gasoline if I was you.
450
00:21:20,338 --> 00:21:23,296
You might want to tell that to Cory.
I didn't actually finger Sam.
451
00:21:23,546 --> 00:21:26,171
It was dark in there,
so I used Cory's dead hand.
452
00:21:26,630 --> 00:21:28,463
-Holy fuck.
-What?
453
00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:29,921
Ah, shit, dude.
454
00:21:30,005 --> 00:21:31,963
That's why my fingers smell like ass.
455
00:21:33,213 --> 00:21:35,005
Listen up, everybody!
456
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:40,921
Mr. Lahey was kidnapped by a shithawk!
457
00:21:41,130 --> 00:21:43,421
And I thought I lost him forever.
458
00:21:43,505 --> 00:21:47,505
And then he came out of a liquor bottle
as a ghost,
459
00:21:47,588 --> 00:21:49,880
and he told me
that I'm running the park now!
460
00:21:50,796 --> 00:21:52,588
My God, I thought I was fuckin' high.
461
00:21:52,838 --> 00:21:55,505
-Wow.
-Holy fuck, Randy. Here, bud.
462
00:21:56,005 --> 00:21:57,421
It's just the mushrooms, man.
463
00:21:57,505 --> 00:22:01,005
You gotta fuckin' override this buzz-on
with the booze. Drink up.
464
00:22:01,171 --> 00:22:03,963
I'm friggin' serious, boys. Watch this.
465
00:22:04,046 --> 00:22:06,671
If I take this and drink it down,
you'll see him come out!
466
00:22:07,171 --> 00:22:08,463
Yeah. Okay, bud.
467
00:22:10,838 --> 00:22:12,796
Come talk to us, Mr. Lahey.
468
00:22:14,588 --> 00:22:16,463
-Please.
-You're fucked.
469
00:22:16,963 --> 00:22:18,338
Frig sakes.
470
00:22:19,130 --> 00:22:20,546
Down he goes.
471
00:22:20,921 --> 00:22:23,796
Oh, my God, he's pissing himself, boys.
472
00:22:23,963 --> 00:22:26,463
I guess he is channeling Mr. Lahey,
though.
473
00:22:26,713 --> 00:22:29,130
Well, that's one down, five to go, boys.
474
00:22:29,296 --> 00:22:31,088
All right, everybody drink up.
475
00:22:31,213 --> 00:22:34,046
When we wake up tomorrow,
everything's gonna be back to normal,
476
00:22:34,130 --> 00:22:36,046
so let's fucking get good and drunk
tonight
477
00:22:36,130 --> 00:22:37,546
and try to have a good time.
478
00:22:37,921 --> 00:22:39,421
Boys! Boys!
479
00:22:39,671 --> 00:22:42,463
Let's get some markers
and draw cocks on Randy's face!
480
00:22:42,546 --> 00:22:44,380
Fuck, yeah, let's do it!
481
00:22:44,921 --> 00:22:46,546
Let's draw a cock on his cock!
38177
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof