Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:13,147
* Sometimes the world
Looks perfect
2
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:19,153
* Sometimes you just
Get a feeling
3
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:23,491
* Like you need
Some kind of change
4
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:27,161
* No matter what
The odds are this time
5
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:29,397
* Nothing's gonna stand
In my way
6
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:32,766
* This flame in my heart
Like a long lost friend
7
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:36,304
* Gives every dark street
A light at the end
8
00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:40,941
* Standing tall
9
00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:44,778
* On the wings of my dream
10
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:47,481
* Rise and fall
11
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:51,485
* On the wings of my dream
12
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,121
* The rain and thunder
13
00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:54,622
* The wind and haze
14
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:58,359
* I'm bound for better days
15
00:00:58,426 --> 00:01:01,595
* It's my life my dream
16
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:05,199
* Nothing's going
To stop me now *
17
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,322
Good vegetables, Jen.
18
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:32,660
Thanks.
19
00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:35,729
They're, they're so... Crisp.
20
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:41,302
Well, I did, uh,
keep them in the crisper.
21
00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:44,872
Well, that, uh,
that must be it.
22
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,441
Balki, could you, uh,
please pass the salt?
23
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:50,311
Balki?
24
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:52,480
Balki?
25
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:54,782
Balki?
26
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:04,658
Would you please
pass the salt?
27
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:14,902
Thank you.
28
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:20,541
Sorry, cousin, we were playing
lip tag and I was it.
29
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:26,947
Tonight is
the fourth anniversary
30
00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:30,884
of the very first time we ever
said the exact same thing
31
00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:32,520
at the exact same time.
32
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,824
Well, who, who could blame you
for celebrating?
33
00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:40,528
Cuddle break.
34
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:52,906
What is it with those two?
35
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:02,182
I mean, have you ever seen
anything so nauseating?
36
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,751
I think they're adorable.
37
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:09,657
You do?
38
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:10,924
You do?
39
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:12,560
I feel like going to bed.
40
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,295
You do?
41
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:25,539
Goodnight, Balki.
Goodnight, Mary Anne.
42
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,875
I'll just, uh, lock the doors
and be right up, sweetheart.
43
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,778
Why?
Because you said
you wanted to go to bed.
44
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:34,214
Oh, right, try not to disturb me
when you come upstairs, okay?
45
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:39,487
They're so cute.
46
00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:42,456
Race you to the pillow.
47
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:59,507
Balki?
Yeah?
48
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:03,010
Uh, but you seem
to be doing something right.
49
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:05,979
So, uh, tell me.
50
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:10,351
...keep the old...
51
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:19,993
Gotcha.
52
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:24,798
Well, cousin, the, um,
the most important thing
53
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:28,702
is to use very,
very dry wood.
54
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:36,544
But the real key
is the kindling.
55
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:39,913
And, of course,
the lighter fluid.
No.
56
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,449
Now, if you just go through
a little bota bag...
57
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,751
No, no, no, no, no, no.
58
00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:48,622
I'm talking about
the fires
59
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:51,725
between a man
and a woman.
60
00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:54,261
Oh.
61
00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:56,964
Oh... Them fires.
Yeah.
62
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:04,838
If our flame ever flickered,
I think what I would do
63
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:08,041
I would go into my
pleasure chest and select
64
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:12,045
one of the three tried and true
Bartokomous marriage secrets.
65
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,484
"Three tried and true
Bartokomous marriage secrets?"
66
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,419
What are they?
67
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:22,356
Well, cousin, uh, if I told you
they wouldn't be secrets.
68
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,126
I'll buy you ice cream.
69
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:27,595
Moon oil is one.
70
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:31,365
Burning amber incense
is another.
71
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:34,402
And, of course, there's
the Ocean Surf cassette tape.
72
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,771
Goodnight, cousin.
73
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:45,112
Uh, just out of curiosity.
Uh-huh.
74
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,480
Well, cousin, now again
75
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:49,650
that would be another
Bartokomous marriage secret.
76
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:53,987
Waffle cone?
77
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,489
Thank you.
78
00:05:56,123 --> 00:06:00,861
Why do you ask?
79
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:05,499
Oh, hey!
Look at the time.
80
00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:08,268
I don't know, cousin, you kinda
got me in the mood to talk.
81
00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:11,271
So anyway,
how's everything by you?
82
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:17,445
Balki.
Uh-huh?
83
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:20,113
Cousin, I got to be
honest with you.
84
00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:27,921
MARY ANNE: Balki.
85
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:30,824
On the other hand, she sure
knows how to toss my salad!
86
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,161
Goodnight, cousin.
87
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,933
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
88
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,043
Good morning, cousin.
89
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,945
Would you like
a fish head omelet?
90
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,450
No.
91
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,151
Would you like
a knuckle sandwich?
92
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,089
Knuckles are more
of a lunch thing.
93
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:07,861
They tend to
stay with you...
94
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,831
Listen to me,
listen to me.
95
00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:14,134
Because of you, Jennifer is
miserable this morning.
96
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:18,906
I went into your stupid pleasure
chest, I used your stupid
97
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,842
Bartokomous marriage secrets,
and they didn't work.
98
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,679
You went into my
pleasure chest?
99
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,347
Yes.
What you did take?
100
00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:31,351
I took 'em all!
101
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:34,922
from the incense, and the ocean
sounds made her seasick.
102
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:40,628
Before I report you
to the proper authorities
103
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,663
there's something
I think you should know.
104
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:49,069
Moon oil applied
directly to the skin
105
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:51,605
usually causes
third degree burns!
106
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,642
Ow!
107
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,279
You must have found
an old bottle.
108
00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:02,750
But, the, the moon oil
isn't body oil?
109
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:06,153
Moon oil is used to light
the Myposian honeymoon lamp
110
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:09,022
and the incense is for
outdoor use only
111
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:15,162
and no one
should ever listen
112
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,664
And in case
you haven't noticed,
113
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,999
Jennifer has
a very full stomach.
114
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:34,648
Jen, honey, you,
you feel better?
115
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:36,850
It's funny, Larry.
116
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,451
Until last night
I didn't think anything
117
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,655
could make me feel more
miserable than being pregnant.
118
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:43,657
I was wrong.
119
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:52,900
Let's get going,
this is gonna take
a major league gift.
120
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,671
A Louisville slug?
121
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:03,310
A little garlic on it,
delicious.
122
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:17,090
LARRY: Look,
this is a waste of time.
123
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:21,895
MAN: (ON PA) Thank you
for shopping at Peterman's.
124
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,463
Come on, let's go.
125
00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:27,300
Cousin, just,
just wait a minute.
126
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:30,070
Balki, you already
got her a, a car full of gifts.
127
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,806
What is this?
Another anniversary?
128
00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:35,208
Today is the first
anniversary of the first time
129
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:37,077
that Mary Anne and I
got caught in the rain
130
00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:38,912
and our hair got all wet
and stringy
131
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:40,614
and we used the car heater
to dry it
132
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,950
and got our heads stuck
under the steering wheel.
133
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:50,791
Well, that must have been
a special, special day for you.
134
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,162
And I'd love to hear
more about it.
135
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:57,998
Well, we got caught
in the rain...
136
00:09:58,065 --> 00:09:59,432
But...
137
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,935
And our, our hair was all wet
and, and stringy...
138
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:05,673
But, but, but, I have to find
139
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,507
the perfect gift for Jennifer.
140
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:12,312
Cousin, what are you
talking about?
141
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,081
that you got six
and a half hours ago
142
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,049
remains the perfect gift.
And why?
143
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:21,588
Because it's what
she really wants.
144
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:25,926
Cousin, if a gift is given
with love, size don't count.
145
00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:28,796
Believe me,
size always counts.
146
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,835
Five minutes till closing.
147
00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,036
Come on, cousin,
let's get out of here.
148
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:38,672
They're closing the store.
149
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:41,909
They just, he just said, "The
store closing in five minutes."
150
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,745
It's just a trick
to encourage impulse buying.
151
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:50,350
in the simplest things.
152
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,354
It's what I do best.
153
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:56,289
Now let's go back
to the jewelry department.
154
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:58,992
Okay.
155
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,728
It's right over here.
It's right around the corner.
156
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,429
Cousin, remember,
look, look...
157
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,731
Just turn and look.
158
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:12,740
Well, now you've done it.
Well, now you've done it.
159
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:15,675
What do you mean I've done it?
What do you mean I've done it?
160
00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:19,980
Is right over there.
Look, if you'd just...
161
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:32,860
(INDISTINCT ARGUING)
162
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,261
Just help me put
this thing back together
163
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:36,596
before the security guard
sees us.
164
00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:38,031
Okay.
Um...
165
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,275
Look, cousin,
166
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:50,210
he's got his foot
in his mouth.
167
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,885
Will you stop
fooling around?
168
00:11:57,951 --> 00:12:00,353
Oh, I'm sorry,
cousin, here
169
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,621
let me give you a hand.
170
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:03,423
(GIGGLES)
171
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:14,467
You're not gonna help,
are you?
172
00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:16,703
* Dem bone dem bone dem
173
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:19,539
* Dry bone dem bone
Dem bone dem
174
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:23,310
* Dry bone the hand bone
Connect to the neck bone
175
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:26,313
* The wrist bone connect
To the shoulder bone
176
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:28,148
* The foot bone
Connect to the... *
177
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:30,683
MAN: Thank you for shopping
at Peterman's.
178
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,352
The store is now closed.
179
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:36,389
Cousin...
180
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:39,927
Balki...
181
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,995
Now, no store
is going to close
182
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:44,998
while a gold card holder
is still shopping.
183
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,969
Now just help me
find the, the head.
184
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:50,804
It must have
rolled somewhere.
185
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:52,239
Look around.
186
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:15,395
(GRUNTING)
187
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:23,303
Look, cousin, it's the
incredible two-headed Mypiot.
188
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,105
(SNORTS)
189
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,409
Balki, you idiot.
190
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:31,879
Now, give me that.
191
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,014
(GROANING)
192
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:36,349
Oh!
193
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,320
Two-headed Mypiot.
(CHUCKLES)
194
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:44,524
Will you stop it?
195
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,330
Hey, cousin...
Hmm?
196
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:53,400
You do notice
anything strange?
197
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:58,571
Other than the fact that
I'm torn between two dummies?
198
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,009
Feeling like a fool?
199
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:05,045
Cousin,
200
00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:07,380
it's awfully quiet
in here.
201
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,117
You know what I think?
202
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,988
You know what?
203
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:18,758
You know,
you know what I think?
204
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:20,593
I think everybody
gone home.
205
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,865
Cousin...
Hmm?
206
00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:31,004
Impossible.
207
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:38,111
(DOOR SHAKING)
208
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:50,457
Balki, they closed
the store.
209
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:56,429
You stupid little
nincompoopolos.
210
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,398
Oh, so now, suddenly,
I'm the one to blame.
211
00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:01,901
Oh, no, you were pretty much
always the one to blame.
212
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:04,037
Well, look,
let's just concentrate
213
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:06,406
on finding a way
outta here.
214
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,244
I have a plan.
215
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:12,980
Oh, oh, you have a plan?
Yeah.
216
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,114
I have a plan.
You have a plan?
217
00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:15,415
A good one too.
No.
218
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:18,618
No, no,
no-no-no-no-no-no-no!
219
00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:24,024
I make the plans
and you follow.
220
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,964
Engine... Caboose.
221
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:34,367
Got it?
Yeah, I got it.
222
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:37,237
No one blows hot air
like you do.
223
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:43,810
I think, I'll just use
the phone to call for help.
224
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:46,446
(DOG BARKING)
225
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:49,149
Cousin...
226
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:50,550
Did you hear something?
227
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:51,618
Yes, I heard something.
228
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,020
(DOG SNARLING)
229
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:57,657
Must have been
a recording.
230
00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:00,027
(DOG SNARLING)
231
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:03,196
You know, all the big stores
are going with these
232
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,432
high-tech alarm systems.
233
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,535
Cousin. Cousin...
234
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,937
It's, it's, it's a dog.
235
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:14,374
Of course, it's a dog.
It's a recording of a dog.
236
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,509
And not a very good one,
I might add.
237
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,645
(SNARLING)
238
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:25,685
No, cousin,
it's a big scary dog.
239
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:27,387
I know you're scared.
240
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:29,989
It's your first time
locked in a store.
241
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:32,292
But Cousin Larry is here.
242
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:37,697
I'm not gonna let anything
happen to you, okay?
243
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:38,998
You feel better?
244
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:40,500
Huh? Feel better?
245
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:42,535
(DOG SNARLING)
246
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,578
Why didn't you tell me?
247
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:55,382
(DOG BARKS)
248
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,784
Just for the record,
I don't.
249
00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:02,189
All right, Balki,
don't make any sudden moves.
250
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:06,059
We're going to back up
very, very slowly.
251
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,761
(SNARLING)
252
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,030
(BARKING)
253
00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,435
(BARKING CONTINUES)
254
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,407
(BARKING CONTINUES)
255
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:24,677
Cousin, I think he wants us
to stand still.
256
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:27,280
Okay, okay!
257
00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:34,354
All right, let me think.
I got it.
258
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:37,290
Listen up. Listen up.
I got it.
259
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:39,025
You let the dog chase you
around the store
260
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,327
while I make
the phone call.
261
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,429
On three, ready?
One, two, three.
262
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:43,563
Go.
263
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:45,832
(DOG GROWLING)
264
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,234
One, two, three, go.
265
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:49,169
Balki, go.
266
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:51,738
One, two, three, go.
267
00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:53,140
Go, go.
268
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:54,841
One-two-three. Go.
269
00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:59,446
What else you got?
270
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:04,984
Stay.
Cousin, cousin.
271
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,386
Cousin, cousin, cousin.
272
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,221
Here you go.
Here you go, doggy. Fetch.
273
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:09,889
BALKI: No, cousin.
LARRY: Here you go.
Here you go.
274
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:12,659
Fetch. Here you go,
here you go, doggy. Fetch.
275
00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:14,194
No, cousin.
Here you go. Here you go.
276
00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:15,595
Doggy, just, just go.
277
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:17,864
Balki.
278
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,099
What kinda doggy
doesn't fetch?
279
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:22,569
A dog that would
rather kill.
280
00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:25,572
Cousin, if I don't make it
out of here... Oh, God.
281
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,540
If, if I don't make it out
of here alive
282
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:30,410
tell Mary Anne that, um, that
I stashed some extra cash
283
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:34,514
behind the nutmeg in the kitchen
and that I love her very much.
284
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,683
Why am I telling you this?
You'll be dead, too.
285
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,951
Balki, I know about
your nutmeg stash.
286
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:41,621
And, listen, if we do
get out of here alive
287
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:44,157
I'm gonna give you back the
three hundred dollars I stole.
288
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,492
(DOG BARKING)
289
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:48,295
You stole my nutmeg
nest egg?
290
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,763
How could you do that?
291
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,432
How can you do that to me?
292
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,801
(BARKING CONTINUES)
293
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:57,036
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
294
00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:58,571
(EXCLAIMING)
295
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,575
(DOG BARKING)
296
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:05,912
Enough, enough.
297
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:14,354
JENNIFER: Where would they be
all night without calling us?
298
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,855
Maybe they wanted to
earn some extra money
299
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,790
for our babies'
college educations
300
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:20,393
so they took second jobs
and forgot to tell us.
301
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:24,163
Or maybe they're lying
in a ditch somewhere.
302
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:29,001
You see the glass
and you say it's half empty,
303
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:32,439
whereas I see the glass
and I say it's empty halfway.
304
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,513
Hi.
Hi.
305
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:44,050
Balki, what happened to you?
306
00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:45,151
Larry, where have you been?
307
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:47,153
I've been worried sick.
308
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:52,559
Well, we accidentally
got locked
309
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,227
Larry, I promise
I won't be angry.
310
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:55,562
Where have you
really been?
311
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:58,831
Jennifer, it's true.
312
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:02,001
We were, we were being chased
all night by a dog.
313
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:03,636
But the worst part was...
314
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:12,245
Well, you missed a pretty
special anniversary.
315
00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:14,213
No, I didn't,
my little lamb shank.
316
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:19,652
You remembered the first time
we got caught in the rain
317
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,254
and our hair got
all wet and stringy
318
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:29,596
and we used the car heater
to dry it
319
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:31,798
I have your present upstairs.
320
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,000
Cuddle break.
321
00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:44,311
Penny for your thoughts.
322
00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:46,379
(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
323
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:49,916
Larry, how did you get locked
in Peterman's department store?
324
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:53,553
Well, well, I, I was just
trying to find the perfect
gift for you
325
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:56,889
to save our marriage
and we got locked in.
326
00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:59,025
Larry, our marriage
doesn't need saving.
327
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,761
And why would you
think it would?
328
00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:06,198
Well, well, you, you don't seem
to be interested in me lately.
329
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:09,268
I mean, Balki
and Mary Anne are always
taking cuddle breaks
330
00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:12,939
and, and, and, you, you just
you, you don't want to touch me.
331
00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:14,974
I'm sorry, Larry,
but these days
332
00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:17,544
I just don't feel
very attractive.
333
00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:23,850
Really?
Yes.
334
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:26,586
You mean it?
Yes, I mean it.
335
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:34,627
Ow, ow.
336
00:21:34,694 --> 00:21:37,630
The, the dog nicked
my lip.
337
00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:42,369
Oh, and I,
I almost forgot.
338
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:44,003
This is, uh, for you.
339
00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:46,005
And it's small and cheap
340
00:21:46,072 --> 00:21:48,307
but it's the only thing
I could find.
341
00:21:49,876 --> 00:21:51,243
I love surprises.
342
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:52,545
It's a neck pillow.
343
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:59,686
Oh, Larry,
I love it.
344
00:21:59,752 --> 00:22:01,954
When my lip heals,
I'll, I'll blow it up for you.
345
00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:05,392
Cuddle break?
346
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:08,395
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
347
00:22:16,536 --> 00:22:17,537
(BOTH PANTING)
348
00:22:17,604 --> 00:22:19,872
(DOG BARKING)
349
00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:21,708
(DOG SNARLS)
350
00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:27,680
Balki... Why isn't he
chasing you?
351
00:22:27,747 --> 00:22:29,081
I don't know, cousin.
352
00:22:29,148 --> 00:22:33,152
I grew up on a farm.
353
00:22:33,219 --> 00:22:35,755
(DOG BARKS)
354
00:22:35,822 --> 00:22:37,724
(BALKI YELLING)
355
00:22:40,226 --> 00:22:43,396
(BOTH SHOUTING)
356
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:51,103
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
25009
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof