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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:14,014 * Sometimes the world looks perfect 2 00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:16,450 * Nothing to rearrange 3 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:19,353 * Sometimes you just get a feeling 4 00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:23,791 * Like you need some kinda change 5 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:27,395 * No matter what the odds are this time 6 00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:29,630 * Nothing's gonna stand in my way 7 00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:33,201 * This flame in my heart like a long lost friend 8 00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:37,471 * Gives every dark street a light at the end 9 00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:41,275 * Standing tall 10 00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:45,079 * On the wings of my dream 11 00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:48,082 * Rise and fall 12 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:51,785 * On the wings of my dream 13 00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:53,254 * The rain and thunder 14 00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:55,022 * The wind and haze 15 00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:58,392 * I'm bound for better days 16 00:00:58,459 --> 00:01:01,762 * It's my life and my dream 17 00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:04,698 * Nothing's gonna stop me now * 18 00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:27,521 Hi, baby. Have you seen Lydia? 19 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,224 Yeah, she just wandered into the archives. 20 00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:31,425 Tsk. I hate to see her wandering around 21 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:32,860 in the condition she's in. 22 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:33,994 Yeah, I heard. 23 00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:35,363 Frank dumped her? 24 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,030 Frank? That was last week. 25 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,699 Norman dumped her this morning. 26 00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,581 LARRY: Uh, Lydia. 27 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,816 I heard about Frank... Oh. 28 00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:02,956 I know it's been a rough week for you. Are you okay? 29 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:05,726 Oh, I'm fine! (CHUCKLES) 30 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,762 I don't know why everybody's so upset about this. 31 00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:10,731 Men are like buses. 32 00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:14,202 If you miss one, there'll be another one around in a minute. 33 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,772 Three, two, one. 34 00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,774 (WAILING) 35 00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:25,913 I've been through this with her before. 36 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,919 Cousin, I did it! 37 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,788 I figured out a way to make Miss Lydia feel better. 38 00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:39,159 That's cute. 39 00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:42,863 Cousin, flowers are nice, 40 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,165 but they don't keep you warm at night. 41 00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:48,602 I got her a man. 42 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,809 Whoa, wait a minute! Wait a minute! No, no. 43 00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,578 No, no, no, no. 44 00:02:57,645 --> 00:03:00,514 Balki, finding Lydia a man is none of your business. 45 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,316 Well, technically, that's true. 46 00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:05,353 Matchmaking is actually my mama's business. 47 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:08,622 But, I used to do her books. 48 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:13,261 Your mama was a matchmaker? Still is. 49 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,596 For six generations, Mypos has depended 50 00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:18,466 on the Bartokomous family for matchmaking. 51 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,734 In fact, our house was fondly referred 52 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:23,237 to as the "love connection". 53 00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:26,640 Well, well, who is this guy? I... 54 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,576 It's not somebody you just met on the street, is it? 55 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:31,512 Well, of course not! Don't be ridiculous! 56 00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,881 I met him across the street in the diner. 57 00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:42,490 just to meet, just to talk, just to have a look-see. 58 00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:46,360 Thanks, Harriette, I'm all right now. 59 00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:50,498 Bye, boys! Have a nice weekend! 60 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,566 I have found the perfect man for you. 61 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:57,204 Uh, his, his name is Jack and, uh, he's tall, 62 00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:59,172 he's good-looking, and get this, 63 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,974 he don't spit when he talks. 64 00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:05,279 Lydia, I'm afraid Balki has been playing matchmaker for you. 65 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:07,315 I tried to tell him it was a mistake. 66 00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:11,218 Oh, Balki. 67 00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:14,021 I've been thinking, I'm doing okay. 68 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,924 I've got friends, a nationally syndicated column 69 00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:21,194 I have a little money. Okay, I've got a ton of money. 70 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:24,332 The last thing I need in my life is a man. 71 00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:26,800 Balki! Jack! 72 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,068 Hi, how are you? 73 00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:32,973 Good, good. Good. 74 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,377 And, Lydia, this is the Jack that I told you about. 75 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,615 You're Lydia? 76 00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:44,217 You're not at all what I expected. Oh. 77 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,286 You see, I read your column every single day 78 00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:48,589 and the advice you give your readers is so wise, 79 00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:52,460 so obviously born from experience, 80 00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:54,628 that I didn't expect someone quite so young. 81 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,869 You didn't? 82 00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,837 Listen, Jack, I'm sorry if Balki's caused you 83 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,439 any inconvenience, but Lydia's decided... 84 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:06,974 Shut up, Larry. 85 00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,210 So, you read my column? 86 00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:11,679 Yes, every day. 87 00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:14,582 Now, I hope this doesn't sound forward, 88 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,316 but would you have dinner with me later? 89 00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:21,321 I haven't eaten anything all day 90 00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:24,458 due to a minor trauma in my life. 91 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,059 I'm starved! 92 00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:30,464 Bye, boys! 93 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,600 (SIGHING) 94 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,168 Well, another Bartokomous match. 95 00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:37,371 Over 3000 served. 96 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,710 This may be worth a photograph in Mama's brochure. 97 00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:47,715 Balki, you are quite a matchmaker. 98 00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,950 So tell me something I don't know. 99 00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:56,557 Was that Jack Colby with Lydia in the parking lot? 100 00:05:56,624 --> 00:05:58,358 Mr. Gorpley, you know Mr. Colby? 101 00:05:58,426 --> 00:06:00,293 Only by reputation. 102 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,662 And what is his reputation? 103 00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,464 Well, the guy dresses for success, 104 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:05,599 but he's never worked a day in his life. 105 00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:08,802 He charms women into giving him cash, clothes and cars 106 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,404 and then he kisses them goodbye. 107 00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:13,106 He's been married four times and he's got two, 108 00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:16,977 count 'em, two ex-wives paying him alimony. 109 00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:20,347 The man's a gigolo! 110 00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:22,683 Yeah. He's my hero. 111 00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:31,158 Oh, cousin, I've dropped Miss Lydia 112 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,627 in some deep babasticki. 113 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,440 Still no answer? 114 00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:48,442 Miss Lydia's been gone all weekend! 115 00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:51,979 I never should have practiced matchmaking 116 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:54,181 with only a learner's permit. 117 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,285 Cousin, what if Jack has already tricked her and... 118 00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:01,822 and broken her heart? 119 00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:03,757 All right, Balki. Balki, stop it. Stop it! 120 00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:06,494 That's enough. Now, relax. Deep breaths! 121 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,128 (BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY) 122 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,033 All right, Balki. 123 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,334 Listen, listen. 124 00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:16,069 Lydia's not stupid. 125 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:17,838 I bet she went out with this guy and realized 126 00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:19,573 right away he was only after her money. 127 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:20,708 She'll probably come through that door 128 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,676 a sadder but wiser woman. 129 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,479 * Day-O 130 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,482 * Day-O 131 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:33,487 * Daylight come and me wanna go home * 132 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,592 Miss Lydia, we've been calling you all weekend. 133 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:39,893 Where have you been? 134 00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:42,395 Jamaica. 135 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,965 (GIGGLES) With Jack. 136 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:50,070 Jamaica? 137 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,673 Well, we were, but after we left here Friday 138 00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:56,977 we realized we were muy simpatico. 139 00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,813 Oh, Balki, I just don't know how to thank you. 140 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,049 Well, you may wanna hold off on that. 141 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,953 Uh, Lydia, listen. 142 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,522 Uh, I know this is gonna hurt, but there are a few things 143 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:10,858 you should know about Jack. Number one... 144 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:14,094 He's been married four times. You know about that? 145 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:17,531 Oh, of course I do! He told me everything. 146 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:22,803 Did he tell you that two of his ex-wives are paying him abalony? 147 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,107 That is alimony. 148 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:29,677 And he feels terrible about it. 149 00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:33,113 Um, Miss Lydia, now, now, uh, 150 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,848 as your friends we just want to 151 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,917 encourage you to find out 152 00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:39,486 what kind of person Jack is 153 00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:42,122 before you get too serious about him. 154 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,390 (SCOFFS) 155 00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:46,694 We are way beyond serious. 156 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,863 We're getting married Saturday! 157 00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:52,165 Married? Mmm-hmm. 158 00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:53,533 Saturday? 159 00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:58,105 Oh, I knew you'd be thrilled. 160 00:08:58,171 --> 00:08:59,439 Don't be late. 161 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:01,909 Oh, Balki, thanks again! 162 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:04,444 I never would have met Jack without you! 163 00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,079 Oh, God! 164 00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:11,585 * Come, Mister Tally Man tally me banana * 165 00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:16,089 Cousin, I have ruined Miss Lydia's life. 166 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,062 and it's all my fault. 167 00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:27,500 According to the 168 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,402 matchmaker's code, I must 169 00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:33,106 now forever deny myself smoked meat. 170 00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:45,653 Well, wait a minute, Balki. 171 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:48,321 Don't do anything drastic. 172 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,190 We'll think of something. What, cousin? 173 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,359 She won't listen to reason. I know. 174 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:53,994 So we'll have to show her that 175 00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:57,064 Jack will go after any woman with money. 176 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,076 (PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) 177 00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:12,813 Cousin, aren't you coming? 178 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:40,240 (PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) 179 00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:45,145 Cousin, usually your plans are a bust, 180 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,083 but tonight your bust is the plan. 181 00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,855 Where do I come up with them? 182 00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:01,795 This wasn't my plan. 183 00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:05,766 Well, cousin, we have to convince Lydia 184 00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:09,870 that Jack is only after her money, not her body. 185 00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:11,271 And I think we both agreed that 186 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:14,407 I looked a little bit too much like Sophia Loren. 187 00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,711 Come on, let's go. 188 00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:19,412 (GRUNTS) 189 00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:23,183 I told you to wear flats. 190 00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:27,921 I don't think so. 191 00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:36,263 Now, come on. Dance me over to Jack. 192 00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:38,932 Is that when you're gonna put the moves on him? 193 00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:41,234 No, I'm not gonna put the moves on him. 194 00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:43,336 I-I'm just going to drop subtle hints 195 00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:46,606 about how incredibly rich and lonely I am. 196 00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:47,707 Now, come on, let's dance. 197 00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:52,645 Now, wait a minute. 198 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,181 Fine. 199 00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,052 May I have this dance? 200 00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,023 Charmed, I'm sure. 201 00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:14,134 Oh, hi, Balki. 202 00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:19,807 This is Cousin Larry's aunt. 203 00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:22,342 Cousin Larry isn't feeling well 204 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,912 and Cousin Larry's aunt was visiting. 205 00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:29,349 So I asked Cousin Larry's aunt to come. 206 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:33,686 I'm Lydia Markham and this is my fiance, Jack Colby. 207 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,889 Desiree Appleton. 208 00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,825 So nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. 209 00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,128 You can call her Desi. 210 00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:45,265 So, Desi, what brings you to Chicago? 211 00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:47,600 Oh, well, I'm taking a trip around the world 212 00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:51,404 to inspect my late husband's hotels and casinos. 213 00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:02,149 Aunt Desi's late and very dead husband 214 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:07,320 was also a very successful shipping maggot. 215 00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:14,761 Excuse me? Magnate. 216 00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:17,330 Shipping magnate. Magnate! 217 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,235 Fascinating. 218 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,904 our other guests, so excuse me. 219 00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:24,972 Well, certainly. 220 00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:26,573 Bye-bye, Lydia. Bye. 221 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:30,810 Cousin, you're dyin' over here. 222 00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:37,284 and maybe show a little thigh. 223 00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:39,920 Forget it. 224 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,288 I only shave to the knee. 225 00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:47,594 It's a nice party, huh? 226 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,196 Yes, it's delightful. 227 00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:51,564 Larry? 228 00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,936 Harriette, I can explain this. Hey! 229 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:58,872 I don't know what you're doin' and I don't wanna know. 230 00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:05,445 Cousin, this chocolate mouse is to die for! 231 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:08,115 You've got to try it! No, I can't, Balki. 232 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,017 Not if I want to stay a size ten. 233 00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:12,352 Well, hello again. 234 00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:15,622 Oh, Jack! Oh, look, it's Jack. 235 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,291 So, uh, Desiree, how long are you in town for? 236 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,460 A week. A week and a month. A month. 237 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:26,033 Five weeks altogether. 238 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:28,268 Oh, Aunt Desi loves to bet. 239 00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:31,604 She must go to Vegas five, six times a year. 240 00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:34,707 In fact, she loves Vegas so much 241 00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:36,243 she's thinking of buying it! 242 00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:37,978 Balki. But, before she does that 243 00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:40,513 she's got to think about selling Atlantic City. 244 00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,782 You know, there was this one time where we were talking about... 245 00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:44,417 Ow. 246 00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,419 Would you get me a glass of water? 247 00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,788 Well, sure, you can have mine, I haven't touched it. 248 00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:51,959 Where was I? Oh, there was an interesting moment once when she... 249 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,628 Would you get me a glass of water 250 00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,364 from a well? 251 00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,672 Oh! Right, right. 252 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,175 Aunt Desi loves her well water 253 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,443 and "well" she should. 254 00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:14,781 (CHUCKLES) 255 00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:16,283 Ah, yes. 256 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,652 Where does he come up with them? 257 00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:24,624 Hors d'ouvres? Well, yes, of course. Thank you. 258 00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:26,159 (CLEARS THROAT) 259 00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:29,396 You'll, you'll have to forgive Balki. 260 00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:32,032 Well, he's a dear really, but, uh, 261 00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:34,201 he's a little awkward around me. 262 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:37,904 Probably because I'm so unbelievably wealthy. 263 00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,939 Well, you're very fortunate that 264 00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:42,609 your husband left you so well taken care of. 265 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:49,949 But I think Lydia's the fortunate one. She has you. 266 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,019 Well, thank you. 267 00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:55,522 Well, I didn't mean to embarrass you. 268 00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:58,591 It's just that, you know, I've always thought if I, 269 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:03,330 if I found the right person, my life would be perfect. 270 00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:06,933 Someone to whisper sweet nothings in my ear, 271 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,636 to exchange a knowing glance with. 272 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,708 Someone to walk hand in hand through 273 00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:18,978 the many shopping centers and retail outlets I own. 274 00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,156 I hope you find what you're looking for. 275 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,324 Excuse me. 276 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,335 (EXHALES) What's a woman gotta do? 277 00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,518 Desiree! Oh! Oh, Jack! 278 00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:01,388 Desiree, I can't stand it any longer! I can't resist you! 279 00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:03,956 Oh, Jack, what on earth are you talking about? 280 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:07,660 I'm talking about us! 281 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:10,730 And just hearing you talk about whispering sweet nothings, 282 00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,465 knowing glances and taking long walks, 283 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:15,635 I realized that you were whispering to me 284 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,671 and glancing at me, and walking with me. 285 00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:22,008 Sweetheart. 286 00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:28,715 Oh, Jack. Yes. 287 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:32,785 Sweetheart, let's run away tonight and get married. 288 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:35,388 No! No! No, no. 289 00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:37,224 Well, what about Lydia? Who? 290 00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,926 Lydia. Oh, her. Forget her. 291 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,861 She's a child. You're a woman! 292 00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:44,231 No! No! No, no. 293 00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,169 We can't begin our life together until 294 00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:51,438 I'm sure it's over between you two. 295 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:55,375 I'll phone her from Vegas. No! No, no. 296 00:17:57,644 --> 00:18:01,314 You have to tell her now! 297 00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:06,653 Of course. 298 00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:14,127 (SIGHS) Oh. 299 00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:25,838 BALKI: Cousin? (GASPS) 300 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,376 It's working! 301 00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:36,249 Cousin, that's great! 302 00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:44,491 Jack took the bait. 303 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:47,260 That's how we fish on Mypos. 304 00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:49,696 Oh, Jack! There you are. 305 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,298 Um, attention, everyone! 306 00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:53,666 Jack and I have an announcement to make. 307 00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:54,834 Tell them, Jack. 308 00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:58,638 Jack, be gentle. 309 00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:00,240 I will. 310 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,909 Lydia, you're history. 311 00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,214 I'm marrying somebody else. 312 00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:10,850 What is this? 313 00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,385 Dump Lydia Month? 314 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,390 but then I met Desiree and I discovered what real love is. 315 00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:19,592 Desiree? 316 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:20,760 This Desiree? 317 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,795 Hey, stuff happens! 318 00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:32,104 You're leaving me for a woman you just met? 319 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:41,180 No, Miss Lydia. 320 00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:42,782 No problem. 321 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:45,285 We'll find the best psychiatrist that money can buy. 322 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,459 Lydia, the wedding's back on! 323 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:53,826 Let's make our announcement. 324 00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:57,264 Just one minute, you Jell-O mold. 325 00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:58,665 Gigolo. 326 00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:02,435 You goldfinger! Gold digger. 327 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:06,273 You old-timer! 328 00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:13,713 Two-timer. 329 00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:16,449 Just who do you think you are? 330 00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:18,751 Some kind of Don Juan Johnson? 331 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:24,524 Well, I have a hot flash dance for you. 332 00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:29,729 Miss Lydia's been dumped by better men than you 333 00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,731 and that was just this week! 334 00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:41,708 She is a wonderful person, and a snappy little dresser. 335 00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:47,314 And you are not worthy to spit on the ground she walks on. 336 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:49,982 So hit the road, Jack! 337 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,986 And I mean maybe! 338 00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:00,393 Do you want me to go? 339 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,595 Not just yet. 340 00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:17,777 Now, you can go. 341 00:21:17,844 --> 00:21:19,579 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 342 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,385 Miss Lydia, are you all right? 343 00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:27,687 Oh, I'm fine. 344 00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,188 No big deal. 345 00:21:29,255 --> 00:21:31,958 Men are like freeway exits. 346 00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:35,462 If you miss one, there's another one down the road. 347 00:21:40,199 --> 00:21:42,902 Eat! Drink! Be merry! 348 00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:44,471 (CHUCKLES) 349 00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:47,239 BOTH: Three, two, one. 350 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,041 (SOBBING) 351 00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:52,579 It's okay. It's all right. 352 00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:02,389 What a night! 353 00:22:04,256 --> 00:22:07,827 Cousin, Miss Lydia's lucky to have a friend like you. 354 00:22:07,894 --> 00:22:09,462 By the end of the evening, you had her 355 00:22:09,529 --> 00:22:12,732 laughing out of the palm of your hand. 356 00:22:14,601 --> 00:22:17,570 Well, I hope you learned your lesson! 357 00:22:17,637 --> 00:22:20,940 Why, cousin, I did! Oh, I did! 358 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:25,412 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 359 00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:27,346 Come in. 360 00:22:29,215 --> 00:22:31,350 if you wanted to go get some coffee. 361 00:22:40,460 --> 00:22:42,795 I, I should have called first. 25442

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