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1
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:13,381
* Sometimes
the world looks perfect
2
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:19,287
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling
3
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:22,756
* Like you need
some kinda change
4
00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:29,663
* Nothing's gonna
stand in my way
5
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:33,234
* This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend
6
00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:37,471
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end
7
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:41,142
* Standing tall
8
00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:45,113
* On the wings of my dream
9
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:48,015
* Rise and fall
10
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:51,819
* On the wings of my dream
11
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,221
* The rain and thunder
12
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:54,888
* The wind and haze
13
00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:58,392
* I'm bound for better days
14
00:00:58,459 --> 00:01:01,629
* It's my life and my dream
15
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:05,566
* And nothing's gonna
stop me now
16
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:32,092
Cousin, cousin, I did it!
I did it, I did it!
17
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,761
I cashed my paycheck.
18
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,229
I withdraw all my savings,
19
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,798
and I recycled
all our aluminum cans.
20
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:40,501
And I have enough money
to buy a car.
21
00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:44,905
Well, congratulations, Balki.
22
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:46,607
(EXCLAIMING)
23
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:53,113
No?
No, you gotta do
some research first.
24
00:01:53,181 --> 00:01:55,849
Research?
Yes!
25
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,419
about the makes and models
you're interested in.
26
00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:00,188
You gotta check around,
shop around
27
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:02,022
to the various dealers,
see what they have to offer.
28
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:04,625
No, no, cousin,
no need for that.
29
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:11,399
I'm gonna go right down
to Honest Achmed's
Used Car Caravan.
30
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:13,801
Honest Achmed?
31
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,002
Yeah.
32
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:20,341
You know,
the guy on television
33
00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:22,276
Uh, Balki, sit down.
34
00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:23,611
(CHUCKLES)
35
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:27,481
Now, how can I say
this tactfully?
36
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:29,617
I wouldn't know.
Hmm.
37
00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:34,021
If you try to buy a car
from Honest Achmed,
38
00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:35,656
he'll eat you alive.
39
00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:38,726
He's a cannibal?
40
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:48,869
No, no.
41
00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:51,071
He isn't even Achmed.
42
00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:55,809
His real name
is Burt Williams,
43
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,711
Cousin, why would he lie?
44
00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,413
To make money.
45
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,182
You know, Balki,
my father had a system
46
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,817
for finding
reliable cars.
47
00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:06,487
He called it
the Appleton Used Car
Rating System.
48
00:03:06,554 --> 00:03:08,456
I think it might be
just what you need.
49
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,291
Well, well, cousin,
come on.
50
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:14,194
I'm sure your father was wise
behind his ears,
51
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:17,265
but I don't think
I need his system.
52
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:23,804
You know, this... (CHUCKLES)
53
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,506
Well, I know you didn't.
54
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:28,476
But suppose
you buy a car
55
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:31,879
without the Appleton
Used Car Rating System.
56
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,247
What would happen?
57
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,849
Well, let's look
into the future.
58
00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:40,120
Look, it's a dark
and stormy night.
59
00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:42,556
I wake up
with terrible pains.
60
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:45,259
Cousin, where does it hurt?
61
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:49,997
Right, I think
it's my appendix.
62
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,066
Cousin, it's no problem.
I drive you in my new car.
63
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:56,570
Oh, good, good.
64
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,639
You've got to get me
to the hospital.
65
00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:01,842
Cousin, I'm trying,
but my car won't start.
66
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:03,210
Help! Help!
67
00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:04,312
Help!
68
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:08,048
It's 2:00
in the morning.
69
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,317
I'm dead.
70
00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:14,187
And all because
you wouldn't use
71
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,124
The Appleton Used Car
Rating System
72
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:20,561
and bought a bad,
bad car.
73
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:25,433
Oh, cousin, I don't want,
I don't want your death
74
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:27,267
on my head
and shoulders.
75
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,239
Give me the Appleton
Used Car Rating System.
76
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:33,474
Only if you're sure.
77
00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:35,108
Cousin, I'm sure,
I'm sure.
78
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:36,544
I'm sure, what do I do?
79
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:37,945
Now, first, give me
all your money.
80
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:39,313
Who are you kidding?
81
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:41,882
Give me your money.
82
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,052
Okay.
83
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,454
Now, don't worry.
84
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,855
I'll use
the Appleton System
85
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:50,658
to get you the right car
at the right price.
86
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,059
Thank you, cousin.
(CHUCKLES)
87
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,361
And after
you pick out my car,
88
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,529
can I get a personalized
license plate?
89
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:59,667
Oh, sure, why not?
90
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:02,302
"by being nice
to everyone you meet."
91
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,077
You think that one
is taken?
92
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:13,080
We'll have to check.
93
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,433
Come on, I want you
to see this.
94
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,134
Hey, Harri, Lydia.
95
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,904
Just keep up
what you're doing,
96
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:41,108
Oh, so,
Harriette's told you
97
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,477
You know, it was developed
by my dad to make sure
98
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,345
We kids bought used cars
that would run
99
00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:47,715
trouble-free for years.
100
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:52,352
This is a computer print out
of every used car for sale
101
00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:53,687
In the Chicagoland area.
102
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,623
Oh, there certainly are
a lot of them.
103
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:59,159
Fourteen thousand two hundred
and twenty-seven.
104
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:01,662
Before computers,
used to take my dad
forever to do this.
105
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:04,565
He started shopping
for my first car
106
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:06,366
when I was 12 years old.
107
00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:09,437
Ask him how he plans
to narrow that down.
108
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:11,271
Well, using another
computer program,
109
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:12,806
I've eliminated
all the trucks,
110
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,108
four-wheel drive vehicles, RVs
111
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,611
And everything costing
more than $2500.
112
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:20,914
But, don't you...
Then the cars
themselves are rated
113
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:23,651
according to such things
as mileage,
114
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,119
previous service record,
coefficient of drag.
115
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,789
Do you feel...
And then the ratings
are factored
116
00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:30,558
against the sale prices
of the cars,
117
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,259
which reduces the list
even further down
118
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:34,127
to the one car
in Chicago
119
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,163
most likely to give Balki
worry-free driving
120
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,566
well into the next century.
121
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:43,704
Were you a bedwetter?
122
00:06:51,479 --> 00:06:53,714
I'm just tryin'
to help the guy.
123
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:56,049
Uh-huh,
what if your computer
doesn't find a car
124
00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:57,851
that Balki likes?
125
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:00,988
(SCOFFS) Well,
what does "like"
have to do with it?
126
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:04,124
I didn't like the car
my father got for me.
127
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:05,926
But it is still running.
128
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:13,433
Well, what do you think?
129
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:14,668
That's what I thought.
130
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,604
I just wanted
a professional opinion.
131
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:21,141
Dad always said
people wouldn't understand.
132
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,747
Cousin, cousin, I found it,
I found it.
133
00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:28,448
I found the car
of my dreams,
134
00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:30,518
and it's right here
in our parking garage.
135
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:31,985
Come on!
136
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:40,193
(STAMMERING) And what is it,
Balki, that makes this
137
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:41,495
the car of your dreams?
138
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:43,463
It's red.
139
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,671
Cousin, you can't see
it from there.
140
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:52,172
Balki, Balki,
141
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:54,407
you're gonna have
to have better reasons
142
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:58,478
for buying a car,
143
00:07:58,546 --> 00:08:00,380
Oh, I do, I do.
144
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:01,949
You do?
Yes, I do.
145
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:04,952
Well, let's list
your reasons.
146
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,887
List them?
147
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:11,925
Well, uh, it's got
those little flaps
148
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:15,028
that keep the mud
from getting up
on the fender.
149
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:26,874
Uh-huh.
150
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:30,077
so you feel like
you're drivin' fast
all the time.
151
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:35,515
Uh-huh.
152
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:37,050
(CHUCKLES)
153
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,653
Oh, oh, and this is
what really sold me.
154
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,723
It's got
one of those Garfields
stuck to the window.
155
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:56,536
Balki, I thought that car
might catch your eye.
156
00:08:56,604 --> 00:08:59,940
You saw it, too?
157
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,909
How did it do?
It didn't measure up.
158
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:04,845
Cousin, you know, I...
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
159
00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:10,217
I had a silly idea
that buying a car
would be fun.
160
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:13,921
Balki, buying a car
is not supposed to be fun.
161
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:21,729
The fun comes
years from now
162
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,897
You weren't breastfed,
were you.
163
00:09:34,842 --> 00:09:36,810
Years from now,
you'll thank me.
164
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,814
Years from now,
I'll buy a red car.
165
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:59,933
Don't look, don't look.
166
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,771
I got you
the most reliable
used car in Chicago.
167
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:06,106
Okay, open your eyes.
168
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:15,983
Oh, cousin,
it's beautiful.
169
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,188
(EXCLAIMS)
170
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,524
Uh, Balki, Balki.
171
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:25,959
Cousin, you are the best.
172
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:30,063
(LAUGHS)
173
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:33,400
I mean, never, never
in my wildest dreams.
Uh, no, Balki!
174
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,436
It's a convertible!
It's a convertible!
175
00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:39,206
(STAMMERING)
176
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:42,475
No, no, no.
177
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:46,179
Balki, come on,
no, no, no, no.
178
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,415
Balki, Balki.
179
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:50,617
This isn't your car.
180
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,052
It isn't?
No.
181
00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:58,792
Oh, God.
182
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,231
I knew you'd like it.
183
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:06,533
And thanks
to the Appleton System,
184
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,301
this car is so reliable,
185
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,270
you could be
driving it forever.
186
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:17,244
That long?
187
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:23,616
So, what do you say
we start this baby up
188
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,418
and take her
for a spin?
189
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:33,693
I was just as excited
when I got my first car.
190
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:37,831
Come on, come on,
come on.
191
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,566
Don't be shy.
192
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:42,435
(LAUGHING)
193
00:11:56,516 --> 00:12:01,121
Huh?
194
00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:04,792
That is the sound
of the Appleton System
at work.
195
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,352
Okay, Balki, start it up.
196
00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,156
Okay, Balki,
start the engine.
197
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,961
Balki, turn the key,
start it up.
198
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:44,397
Balki, start her up.
199
00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:47,534
Balki, turn it...
(EXCLAIMS)
200
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,902
(GRUNTS)
201
00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:51,038
What are you doing
out here?
202
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,405
Just hangin' out.
203
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:56,977
Yeah, well, I tried,
nothing happened.
204
00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:59,312
Well, I'm sure it's just
a simple problem.
205
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:01,181
Well, I have
a simple solution.
206
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:04,084
Why don't we take
this thing back
and get another one?
207
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:05,785
Possibly a red one.
208
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,788
Balki, we are not taking
it back.
209
00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:10,190
There is nothing wrong
with it.
210
00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:12,325
Well, there is one thing
wrong with it.
211
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:13,927
It won't start.
212
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,330
I'm sure it's just
a small adjustment.
213
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,900
It passed
the Appleton System
with flying colors.
214
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:23,803
Well, maybe
the Appleton System
should take a flying leap.
215
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,007
Cousin, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.
216
00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:28,541
It just slipped out.
217
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,380
Balki, have a little faith.
218
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:36,917
Even as kids, some of us had
our doubts about dad's system.
219
00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:38,518
I can see why.
220
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,625
Now, come on, give me
a hand here.
221
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:48,061
The problem seems to be
with the electrical system.
222
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:50,197
So, we have
to check and see
223
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,532
if the battery
is delivering
sufficient power.
224
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,704
All we have to do
is touch these screwdrivers
225
00:13:57,770 --> 00:14:00,974
to the battery terminals
and see if there's
any electricity.
226
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:08,581
Cousin, it seems
that the battery
is dead.
227
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:12,352
You know,
Mr. Wizard once said
228
00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:15,222
that electricity won't flow
229
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:17,490
unless there is
a complete circuit.
230
00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:21,161
I wonder what he meant
by that?
231
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:46,153
(BALKI CHUCKLES)
232
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,654
Battery's fine.
233
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,370
Okay. (GRUNTS)
234
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,205
I think now we're
getting somewhere.
235
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:07,907
Well, that's what you said
when you stripped
236
00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:10,077
the threads
on the carburrito.
237
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:12,045
It's carburetor.
238
00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:13,713
Car-bur-etor.
239
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:17,951
And it was an accident.
240
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:19,886
Not of this magnitude.
241
00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:24,091
You know, Balki,
I am doing all this
for you.
242
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,360
I found the car for you.
243
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:30,463
I made the deal for you.
244
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:33,333
And I am trying
to fix it for you.
245
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:44,011
You're right there, cousin.
246
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:45,745
Okay, well,
tell you what,
247
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:50,317
if you don't wanna help,
why don't you just go home?
248
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:56,056
Cousin, I would love
to go home,
249
00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,227
but my car don't work.
250
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,300
All right, look,
I tell you what,
251
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:12,339
We're both very tired
252
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:13,940
Well, I think
it would be best
253
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:16,176
if we just put
our differences aside
254
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:18,245
and worked together.
255
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,113
Cousin, you're right.
256
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,015
You're right,
and you're right.
257
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:26,286
(SIGHS)
Okay, what can I do
to help?
258
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:28,255
Well, well,
to start with
259
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,557
you could put in the oil.
260
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:37,264
(LAUGHS)
261
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,399
if you hadn't broken
the oil filter
262
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:42,069
when you were trying
to fix the fuel pump, huh?
263
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,708
Well, the fuel pump
wouldn't have been broken
264
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:50,777
if you hadn't hit it
with a hammer.
265
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,113
Huh?
266
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:56,983
Cousin, you told me
to hit it with a hammer.
267
00:16:57,050 --> 00:17:00,287
I said tap, tap it
with a hammer.
268
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:03,656
Tap, hit, eight of one,
half a dozen of another.
269
00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:07,694
Just put in the oil.
270
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:14,634
(STAMMERING)
271
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,404
Cousin, when you,
when you...
272
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:20,307
Balki.
Let me just ask
you this.
273
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:21,974
Put in the oil!
Let me just ask you this.
274
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,512
It's not a big deal.
Let me just ask you
this question.
275
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:26,946
Put in the oil, now!
276
00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:28,481
Now! Now!
277
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:34,554
(SHEEPISHLY) Okay.
278
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,534
Cousin, I just wanna ask you
one little question.
279
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,504
LARRY: Balki,
put in the oil, now!
280
00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:56,075
(EXCLAIMS NERVOUSLY)
281
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:36,916
Cousin, was this what you...
282
00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,518
Thank you.
283
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:58,371
Well, Balki,
we did it.
284
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:04,644
and put it back
together again.
285
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,682
You have to do
that sometimes.
286
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:12,819
The amazing thing is
we don't have
any parts left over.
287
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,256
Well, Balki,
288
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:27,300
why don't we start it up
289
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,001
(ENGINE REVVING)
290
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:30,603
Cousin, it started.
291
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:34,207
Chalk up one more
for the Appleton System.
292
00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:36,609
Why don't we turn it off
and call it a victory?
293
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,177
No, no, no, no.
294
00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:39,646
Put her into drive.
295
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:46,319
Yes, it would.
296
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:50,490
Perfect.
297
00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:53,226
Balki, you are
about to drive
298
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,728
your very own car
for the first time.
299
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:58,498
This is a moment
you'll never forget.
300
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:01,801
Cousin, thank you
for making it possible.
301
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,803
Hey, don't thank me.
302
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:07,274
Thank the Appleton
Used Car Rating System.
303
00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:31,564
Cousin,
in the Appleton System,
304
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:35,635
exactly when do
you admit failure?
305
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,278
(HORN HONKING)
306
00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:02,362
Cousin, thank you
for helping me buy
my first car.
307
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:04,597
Actually, it was
your second.
308
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,933
No, I don't count
the first one.
309
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:10,703
I never actually
drove it... Forward.
310
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,376
Well, I'm just glad
Honest Achmed
311
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:18,711
gave you a good deal
on the trade-in.
312
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:23,783
Yeah, $150 for a car
that only drives backwards
ain't bad.
313
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:29,055
And I'm really happy
with the red car
I just bought.
314
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:34,126
Balki, I owe you
an apology.
315
00:21:34,193 --> 00:21:37,564
I thought
the Appleton System
was foolproof
316
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,400
and that's why
I couldn't admit that...
317
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:43,336
Your car was a lemon.
318
00:21:44,371 --> 00:21:47,073
No, cousin,
it was a sedan.
319
00:21:49,108 --> 00:21:54,681
And it was just
about the ugliest one
I've ever seen
320
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,016
in my life,
321
00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:58,918
Except for that picture
you showed me
322
00:21:58,985 --> 00:22:00,453
of your first car.
323
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,822
Hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.
324
00:22:02,889 --> 00:22:04,391
My dad picked
that car out.
325
00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:07,093
That car was reliable.
326
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,828
Car was fuel efficient.
327
00:22:09,529 --> 00:22:11,297
Car was ugly.
328
00:22:11,364 --> 00:22:12,799
(GROANS)
329
00:22:14,901 --> 00:22:16,869
Ooh, boy.
330
00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:21,240
You know something,
I hated that...
I hated that car.
331
00:22:21,307 --> 00:22:23,209
(STAMMERS)
332
00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:25,912
But I could never
tell my dad.
333
00:22:25,978 --> 00:22:27,780
(SIGHS)
Cousin, you know
what I think?
334
00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:30,082
First thing in the morning,
you should call up your papa
335
00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:33,853
and get that piece
of your mind
off your chest.
336
00:22:34,987 --> 00:22:38,057
You're right.
I will, I will.
337
00:22:38,124 --> 00:22:42,094
And Balki, tomorrow,
when we go into work,
23719
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