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1
00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:13,881
* Sometimes
the world looks perfect
2
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:16,217
* Nothing to rearrange
3
00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:19,420
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling
4
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:23,691
* Like you need
some kinda change
5
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:27,395
* No matter what the odds
are this time
6
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:29,630
* Nothing's gonna
stand in my way
7
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:32,866
* This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend
8
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:37,638
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end
9
00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:45,113
* On the wings of my dream
10
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,881
* Rise and fall
11
00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:51,852
* On the wings of my dream
12
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:53,321
* The rain and thunder
13
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,888
* The wind and haze
14
00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:58,326
* I'm bound for better days
15
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:01,629
* It's my life and my dream
16
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:05,199
* And nothing's gonna stop me
now *
17
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:25,486
Mind if I use your phone?
Don't touch that phone.
18
00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:27,288
You wanna rephrase that,
baby?
19
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,391
I'm sorry, Harriette,
(STAMMERS) I just mean
20
00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:32,560
I am expecting
a very important phone call.
21
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:36,096
Cousin Larry is on the verge
of a very big perversion.
22
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:41,602
Promotion.
Very big promotion.
23
00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:44,605
And I really
can't talk about it.
It's very hush hush.
24
00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:47,308
Oh, is that the job on the
investigative reporting team
25
00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:49,177
working with Marshall
and Walpole?
26
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:54,114
How did you know?
People talk in elevators.
27
00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:55,383
I listen.
28
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,085
Cousin, there's an idea.
29
00:01:58,152 --> 00:01:59,653
You should wait
in the elevator.
30
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,522
That's where
all the news is.
31
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:04,057
Well, I hope
you get your call soon.
32
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,593
I've got to call
the phone company.
33
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,261
You know we moved
into your building
three days ago
34
00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:09,062
and still haven't
gotten our phone
hooked up.
35
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,665
Really?
My son is going
through phone withdrawal.
36
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:12,800
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
37
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:17,070
Hello. Hello.
Yes. Yes.
38
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,407
He's standing right here.
I'm his cousin.
39
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,475
He's my cousin.
Oh!
40
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:22,743
Appleton.
41
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:23,811
Yes.
42
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:26,347
Yes!
43
00:02:26,414 --> 00:02:27,748
That was
Marshall and Walpole.
44
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:31,252
They wanna see me
upstairs right away.
45
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,787
Yeah, that means
I can use the phone now.
46
00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:36,757
Be my guest.
Cousin, good luck.
47
00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:38,192
Good luck, baby.
48
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:44,298
Look at those
little legs go.
49
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:49,637
Oh, Harriette,
this job means
so much to Cousin Larry.
50
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:53,641
If he gets it, he'll
feel five feet tall.
51
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:58,612
Hey, baby.
Hi, sweetums.
52
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,615
Hi, Balki.
Hi, Carl.
53
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,317
Hey, Balki,
I brought you some more
54
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:08,822
wanted posters
for your collection.
55
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,791
Got it, got it.
56
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,096
Oh, Carl.
57
00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:18,532
A Joey the Fish rookie card.
58
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,603
First offense.
Oh, thank you, Carl.
59
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:23,871
You're welcome.
(LAUGHS)
60
00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:28,242
Not you, baby.
Oh!
61
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:34,081
Mmm.
How come your lips
taste so sweet?
62
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:35,916
Uh...
Is that powdered sugar
on your mouth?
63
00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:38,118
No, no, no, it's not sugar.
It's, um, uh...
64
00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:40,588
Uh...
Don't lie to me,
you've been eating donuts.
65
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:42,423
Oh, Carl, did you
have some of those ones
66
00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:44,057
we'd always have...
Oh, you did.
67
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:45,593
Look, there's
a little jelly
on your hand.
68
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:50,197
There's some crumbs
on your lip--
69
00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:51,832
and you're in the
line of fire.
70
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,268
Oh, I beg your pardon.
I beg you pardon.
71
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:56,270
If anybody needs me,
I'll be over there
72
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,238
separating the assault
from the battery.
73
00:03:58,306 --> 00:03:59,507
Okay.
74
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,144
How many donuts
did you eat?
None.
75
00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:05,646
How many?
Just one.
76
00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:07,581
How many?
All right, two, okay, two.
77
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:10,618
How many?
All right, nine.
78
00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,324
And I'm paying the price.
79
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:21,695
Now, lookie here,
I didn't come here to argue.
80
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,331
They got me working
undercover.
81
00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:24,898
Oh, I worry
when you work undercover.
82
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:26,800
Oh, well, now don't worry,
don't worry.
83
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:29,403
I'll be all right, and I'll be
home before you know it.
84
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,372
Come here.
See you later.
85
00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:32,873
Bye, Balki.
Bye, Carl.
86
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,575
Thanks again for
Joey the Fish.
87
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:35,943
Hey, I'm just glad
I can get 'em for ya.
88
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,978
He's gonna be big.
Oh-ho-oh-oh.
89
00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:43,951
No need to do that.
I know the way.
90
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:46,086
Carl, you got food
in that car,
don't you?
91
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,621
Now...
92
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:51,124
It's just a little
something for the guys
93
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:52,460
HARRIETTE: Yeah, I got it.
94
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,062
Balki.
Cousin.
95
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,129
Balki.
Cousin.
96
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:57,197
Balki.
Cousin.
97
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:58,265
Balki.
Cousin.
98
00:04:58,332 --> 00:04:59,600
Balki.
Cousin.
99
00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:04,037
You are looking
at Larry Appleton,
100
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:05,906
investigative reporter.
101
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:07,040
Oh, yeah!
102
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:08,542
(BOTH CELEBRATE)
103
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,847
Oh, cousin,
congratulations.
104
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:17,485
Your ship has finally
hit the fan.
105
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:27,094
How fat is your big,
fat raise?
106
00:05:28,596 --> 00:05:31,499
Well, they didn't give me
a raise as such.
107
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:32,833
Well, no need
to be greedy.
108
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:35,469
After all, you got
that fancy new office.
109
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:38,906
Well, they thought
it would be best
if I stayed right here.
110
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:41,409
Well, you got that
company car you wanted.
111
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,343
Well, no.
112
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,780
Business cards?
No.
113
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,081
Pencils with your
name on them?
114
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,117
No.
Cousin,
work with me here.
115
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,820
I'm trying hard
to keep up my enthusiasm.
116
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,656
Balki, those things
don't matter.
117
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,758
This is a big break for me.
118
00:05:57,825 --> 00:06:00,027
I am on the
investigative reporting team
119
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,729
of the Chicago Chronicle.
120
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,497
I'll be out there
digging up the facts.
121
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:05,999
Exposing scandals,
writing the hard news.
122
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:10,137
Balki, for the first time,
I am a real reporter.
123
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,805
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
124
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,007
Appleton,
assistant research liaison
125
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:16,444
to the investigative reporting
team of Marshall and Walpole.
126
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,679
They did give me a title.
Wow!
127
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:21,549
Yes, sir,
Mr. Walpole.
128
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,684
This could be
my first assignment.
129
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:26,987
Yes, sir.
I'm ready.
130
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,123
Got it. Got it.
131
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,163
Hard salami.
132
00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:39,567
They want me to
get them lunch.
133
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:42,436
Well, you still got
that snappy title.
134
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:57,551
Well, Balki,
135
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,154
my first day
as an investigative reporter
136
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:04,525
and the only thing I exposed
was some fatty corned beef.
137
00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:08,662
Oh, come on, cousin.
Don't be discouraged.
138
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:10,864
Your dream
is coming true.
Oh!
139
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,866
Come on, you're...
You're a member
140
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,769
of the investigative
reporting team.
141
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,938
Don't you think that
Mushmouth and Polevault
142
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:19,807
started out
where you're starting out?
143
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,644
Marshall and Walpole.
144
00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:26,880
All right, all right, look,
I read all about them.
145
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,082
I know that
they started out
at the bottom
146
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,351
writing little
tiny pieces
for the paper.
147
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:33,954
And then they
moved on to
the features department
148
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,856
and they are writing
bigger stories.
149
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:38,291
And then,
after a few years,
they stumbled
150
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:41,695
onto that milk scandal
and the rest,
as they say
151
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:43,196
is hysterectomy.
152
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,504
You know, Balki,
you're right.
153
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,073
You've shown me
what I have to do.
154
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,008
And not for
the first time either.
155
00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:01,081
Cousin, I'm glad
you're seeing that
patience is the key.
156
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,953
I don't have time
for patience.
157
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,888
What I need
is a sensational story
158
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:09,557
that will launch me
right to the top.
159
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:11,258
Just like Marshall
and Walpole.
160
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,327
But right now, I'm gonna
get a good night sleep.
161
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:17,097
I'm gonna get up at 3:30,
go hang out at night court.
162
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,699
Love that show.
163
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:22,035
There's bound
to be something
happening down there.
164
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,672
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
165
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:32,379
Hi, guys.
BOTH: Hi, Carl.
166
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:36,483
I'm really sorry to bother you
but I'm expecting
167
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,719
they could reach me here,
I hope you guys don't mind
168
00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:40,353
if I kinda hang around
a little while?
169
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:41,822
Oh, no. Come on in.
No, it's no problem.
170
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:44,257
All right.
All right.
171
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:46,727
Uh, look, Carl, uh,
I don't mean to seem rude
172
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:47,995
but, uh, I gotta get
some shut-eye.
173
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,462
Oh!
I'm exhausted.
174
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,964
Okay. Goodnight.
Goodnight.
175
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,967
So, Carl,
how's it going?
Oh, great.
176
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,570
We're this close
to busting
a big politician.
177
00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,205
But, hey, I can
sleep tomorrow.
178
00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:00,908
Let's talk.
179
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:05,045
Cousin, I thought
you were going to bed.
180
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:06,914
Oh, suddenly,
I feel wide awake.
181
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,749
Guess I'm getting
my second wind.
182
00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,550
I'll get the antacid.
183
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:19,760
So, Carl, uh, you're closing
in on a corrupt politician?
184
00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:22,162
Yeah, I really
wanna nail this guy.
185
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,197
And we're about to
spring a trap for him
186
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:30,403
and a big mob kingpin.
187
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:33,240
Original formula.
Yeah.
188
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:36,009
He's been takin' bribes
from the mob for years.
189
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,745
Cousin, uh, you want a spoon
190
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,279
or will you be
chugalugging tonight?
191
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,751
Chugalugging, chugalugging.
Ahem!
192
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:47,087
So, uh, this politician,
we talking, uh, local, state
193
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,956
federal, appointed, elected?
Did I vote for him?
194
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,523
Did you vote for him?
Nod if I'm getting warm.
195
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,560
Uh, Larry, I really
can't say anymore about it.
196
00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:57,230
This is official
police business.
197
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,532
of the Chronicle's
investigative reporting team.
198
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,735
I wouldn't wanna see
this on the front page.
199
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,203
(CHUCKLES)
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
200
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:06,239
Larry and Balki's Water Works.
201
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,642
Which drip do you
want to talk to?
202
00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:14,347
Carl, it's for you.
That's my call.
203
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,616
Oh, two points.
204
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,754
It's going down tonight?
205
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:24,692
Oh, when?
Oh! "Childproof cap."
206
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:28,295
Okay, you make sure
that Alderman is there
207
00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:33,667
Right.
Uh-huh.
208
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:35,736
Okay, no, he doesn't
suspect a thing.
209
00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:38,638
Listen, uh, what's the address
to the restaurant?
210
00:10:38,706 --> 00:10:42,642
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Okay, got it.
211
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:45,312
All right, I'll see you
in 20 minutes. Bye.
212
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,881
Listen, fellas, I really
shouldn't have said all I said
213
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:51,584
about the case
I'm workin' on.
214
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:55,455
But you two guys
are my friends
215
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:59,860
Carl, don't worry because
your secret is safe with us.
216
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:02,696
Thanks.
If anybody knows
how to keep a secret
217
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,497
we are
those people.
218
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:07,434
Thank you.
Once again, Carl,
don't worry.
219
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,670
All right.
Because your secret
is safe with us.
220
00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:12,005
Gee, thanks.
221
00:11:14,742 --> 00:11:16,744
What secret is he
talking about?
222
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,481
I think Carl is going
to make a big bust.
223
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:24,885
That's the secret?
Carl is interested
in sculpting?
224
00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:28,455
Not that kind of bust.
225
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,723
No.
226
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:34,261
A bust means Carl
is going to arrest
a crooked politician
227
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:36,429
who is involved
with organized crime.
228
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:39,399
This is the story
I'm looking for.
229
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:41,869
All I have to do is rub
a pencil across this pad.
230
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,303
Then I can make out
the impression and find out
231
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,072
where the arrest
is going to happen.
232
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,706
Why would you
want to do that?
233
00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:48,508
Because I am going
to put this story
234
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:50,477
on the front page
of The Chronicle.
235
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,945
On the front page?
236
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,014
Someone might see it.
237
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:57,050
Not just someone.
Everyone.
238
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,621
Cousin,
I don't think so.
239
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:04,291
We promised Carl
that we would keep
this a secret
240
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:06,760
and I intend to
keep our word.
241
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:24,111
Give me the pad...
Balki.
242
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:26,379
I need the address
on that pad.
243
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:31,785
When Carl
makes the arrest,
I've got to be there.
244
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:35,255
Well, in this case,
you don't have a
ticket to ride.
245
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,592
Cousin, Carl told us
to keep this a secret
246
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:41,361
and I intend to do it.
247
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:45,032
Oh, hey, hey, hey,
I don't have
a problem with that.
248
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:49,202
You keep it a secret,
but give me the pad.
249
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:57,945
Cousin, if you build a career
by betraying a friend
250
00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,512
you'll hate yourself.
251
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:00,780
I'd get over it.
252
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,957
Stand back,
253
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:13,226
or I'll sweep you
into tomorrow.
254
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:19,332
Balki, give me that pad.
255
00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,636
No, cousin.
This is wrong.
256
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:26,473
Carl don't want us
to have this information.
257
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,808
Oh, oh, oh!
258
00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,978
So that's what's
bothering you.
259
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,413
Yes.
260
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,183
You think Carl doesn't want us
to have that information.
261
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,151
That is correct.
But Balki, no.
262
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:41,088
That is not correct.
The truth, the truth is...
263
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,091
The truth is that Carl
264
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,159
wants me to have that address.
265
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,061
You see this is the way
information is passed
266
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:51,331
from undercover cops
to investigative reporters.
267
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:56,303
But if, If Carl wanted you
to have this information
268
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,138
why he didn't just
come out and say it?
269
00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:00,073
Well, he couldn't do that.
No?
270
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:03,110
No.
He'd get into trouble.
271
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,744
We wouldn't want that
to happen now, would we?
272
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,079
No.
LARRY: No.
273
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:10,283
BALKI: No.
No.
274
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,185
He does want me
to have that address.
275
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,321
He does.
But he can't give it to me.
276
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:17,490
He can't?
No.
277
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:18,926
Balki, think about it.
278
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:23,730
If Carl didn't want me
to put it in the paper
279
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:26,199
he wouldn't have told me
to keep it a secret.
280
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,271
Wait a minute.
281
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:36,276
Are you, are you saying
that Carl gave us a secret
282
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:39,212
and told us to keep
that secret a secret
283
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:42,149
but that, that really
wasn't what he wanted?
284
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,117
What he really wanted
was for you
285
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:45,718
to put that secret
on the front page
286
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:49,856
of the newspaper so that
everyone can know this secret
287
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:52,159
that we are supposed
to be keeping a secret?
288
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,097
Exactly.
289
00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:00,500
Exactly what?
Exactly what you just said.
290
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,502
I don't know
what I just said.
291
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,808
I went into the kitchen
to get the antacid.
292
00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:10,710
I couldn't get
the top of it off--
293
00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:13,246
Balki, Balki, Balki,
Balki, Balki.
294
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:16,449
Look, this is all
very, very simple.
295
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:23,456
hoping we would
make it public.
296
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:26,259
we would be honor-bound
to keep it a secret.
297
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,761
Because Carl knows
a secret
being a secret
298
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,430
is the only thing
worth making public.
299
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:32,165
Otherwise,
why call it a secret?
300
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,073
Take the pad.
301
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,411
I've got a headache.
302
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,651
(PANTING)
303
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:57,190
Nothing. There is nothing.
This always works
in the movies.
304
00:15:57,257 --> 00:16:00,127
Balki, how am I gonna
find out where Carl's
making the arrest?
305
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,563
He gave us a secret...
306
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:09,102
Balki, why can't I
ever get a break?
307
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:15,742
Oh, don't worry,
cousin.
308
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:19,212
I glanced at the pad
while he was writing it down.
309
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:22,249
Balki, I'll never
forget you for this.
310
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,184
We've got 10 minutes
to get there.
311
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:27,520
He, and... And...
312
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:30,257
If you put on the front page
of the newspaper
313
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,292
then everyone would
know the secret
314
00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:34,061
that we are supposed
to be keeping a secret.
315
00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:35,862
Because he said to us that--
Let's go.
316
00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:37,330
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
317
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,740
Hey, Alderman, I'm glad
you could make it.
318
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:50,210
Hey.
Adios.
319
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:51,744
Well, there was no way
I was gonna miss
320
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:56,516
Sergeant Bergetti's
surprise party.
321
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,485
So, uh, how is Carl
gonna get him here
322
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,087
without, uh,
spoiling the surprise?
323
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:01,588
How do you get a cop
to go anywhere?
324
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,357
You promise him
a free meal, right?
325
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,025
All right, all right,
but one question.
326
00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:08,661
With all the cops in here,
who's minding the city?
327
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,463
(ALL LAUGHING)
328
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,406
Look at this place.
329
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:21,541
It's crawling
with criminals.
330
00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:24,911
They look like
nice people to me.
331
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:28,481
Oh, Balki,
Balki, Balki.
332
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,750
When you've been
on the street
as long as I have
333
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:34,487
there are some things
you just know.
334
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,689
I have been on the street
as long as you have.
335
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,791
We left the house
at the same time.
336
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,433
Just stick close to me.
337
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:49,569
Try not to draw attention
to yourself.
338
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:59,078
Planter.
339
00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,484
(RATTLING)
340
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,821
Loose tile.
Careful.
341
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:20,700
Oh, my Lord.
342
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:24,337
Alderman Zittrell
is sitting at
a table in the corner.
343
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:26,105
He must be
the crooked politician
344
00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:27,574
Carl is going to arrest.
345
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:30,843
Oh, my Lord!
346
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:33,112
That's the
chief of police
with him.
347
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,647
He must be
a crook, too.
348
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:38,485
I've got to know
what they're talking about.
349
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,253
Balki...
350
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,956
I am going to try
to tape their conversation.
351
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:46,293
Wait here.
352
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,461
Could I have
a Shirley Temple
over here?
353
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:55,902
Wait here.
Don't speak.
354
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:04,811
Let me freshen
that for you.
355
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,423
There you are.
Thank you.
356
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:25,965
I can't believe it.
357
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:28,935
I am blowing the lid off
the biggest story in town.
358
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,137
If Carl hadn't
let this slip, I'd
still be getting lunch
359
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:33,273
for those bozos,
Marshall and Walpole.
360
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,444
Let it slip?
What?
361
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:40,247
You told me that
Carl wanted us
to have this information.
362
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:42,915
No, he did, uh,
let it slip
is a generic term
363
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,751
which can be used to denote
one who wants to convey--
364
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:48,688
Cousin, cut
the Bullwinkle!
365
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:54,594
Okay. I lied.
Big deal.
366
00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:56,496
I'm trying to build
a career here.
367
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:58,298
If you have a problem
with that...
368
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:00,900
Go home.
369
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,272
I will.
370
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:16,082
Balki, you are
interfering with the
freedom of the press.
371
00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:17,450
Oh, phoo!
372
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,256
Cousin.
373
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:26,859
Balki.
374
00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:31,764
Cousin, please.
375
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:35,835
Hi!
Hi!
376
00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:46,979
The bread's fine.
377
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:48,648
(GRUNTS)
378
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,452
Loose tile,
careful.
379
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,292
Are you happy?
Well--
380
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:00,960
You could have
gotten us killed.
381
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,897
Give me that.
382
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:07,066
CHIEF OF POLICE: (ON RECORDER)
Don't worry,
everything's all set.
383
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:09,769
As soon as Carl comes
in that door with Carmine
384
00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:16,309
boom, we let 'em have it.
385
00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:17,910
BALKI AND LARRY:
(ON RECORDER) Hi.
386
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:23,850
Balki, Alderman Zittrell
is planning to murder Carl.
387
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:25,685
We've got to
get out of here
and warn him.
388
00:21:28,321 --> 00:21:30,357
Okay,
this is it.
389
00:21:30,423 --> 00:21:33,393
Now when I give the signal.
Balki, we've got
to stop him.
390
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:34,927
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
391
00:21:42,268 --> 00:21:45,204
Surprise!
392
00:21:45,271 --> 00:21:46,906
Well, you
got that right.
393
00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:02,922
Carl, I am so
sorry about all
the embarrassment--
394
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:05,324
Hey, Larry,
don't worry about it.
395
00:22:05,392 --> 00:22:07,394
You're already
a legend downtown.
396
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:09,896
They'll be laughing
about you for years.
397
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,732
Oh, cousin,
isn't that nice?
398
00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:15,034
And you thought you
made a fool of yourself.
399
00:22:16,703 --> 00:22:19,105
Well, I better
get downstairs.
400
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:20,440
Harriette waits up for me.
401
00:22:20,507 --> 00:22:22,542
She likes to dust me
for fingerprints.
402
00:22:24,110 --> 00:22:25,845
Why? Doesn't she
trust you when
you work undercover?
403
00:22:25,912 --> 00:22:28,615
Oh, no, no, no.
It's nothing like that.
404
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:31,851
It's just a little thing
that we do.
405
00:22:39,392 --> 00:22:43,463
Boy, some
investigative reporter.
406
00:22:43,530 --> 00:22:45,898
I blew the lid off
a surprise party.
407
00:22:47,266 --> 00:22:49,836
Oh, come on, cousin.
Don't be down on yourself.
408
00:22:49,902 --> 00:22:52,238
You're a good writer
and a hard worker.
409
00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:54,707
And someday,
you're gonna
be just as famous
410
00:22:54,774 --> 00:22:56,776
as Maytag
and Whirlpool.
411
00:22:58,077 --> 00:22:59,446
You really think
I'm a good writer?
412
00:22:59,512 --> 00:23:01,147
Well, of course,
I do.
413
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:02,682
Don't be ridiculous.
414
00:23:04,150 --> 00:23:05,918
Well, maybe you're right.
415
00:23:05,985 --> 00:23:09,355
If I just hang in there,
work hard,
416
00:23:09,422 --> 00:23:10,423
my time will come.
417
00:23:10,490 --> 00:23:11,958
Of course, it will.
418
00:23:12,024 --> 00:23:15,428
Remember, cousin,
patience is a virgin.
30651
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