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1
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:13,347
* Sometimes
the world looks perfect
2
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:16,016
* Nothing to rearrange
3
00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:19,120
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling
4
00:00:19,187 --> 00:00:23,224
* Like you need
some kind of change
5
00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:26,794
* No matter what
the odds are this time
6
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,996
* Nothing's gonna
stand in my way
7
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:32,533
* This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend
8
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:36,637
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end
9
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:40,908
* Standing tall
10
00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:44,812
* On the wings of my dream
11
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,781
* Rise and fall
12
00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:51,119
* On the wings of my dream
13
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,354
* The rain and thunder
14
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:54,988
* The wind and haze
15
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,958
* I'm bound for better days
16
00:00:58,025 --> 00:01:01,762
* It's my life and my dream
17
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:05,699
* Nothing's gonna
stop me now *
18
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:24,585
Ah, this is
getting ridiculous.
19
00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:26,420
I didn't have time
to do the laundry yesterday.
20
00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:28,656
This is the only clean shirt
I've got to wear to work.
21
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,791
You think this looks okay
with a tie?
22
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:33,794
Well, it looks
pretty stylish to me.
23
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:36,864
Yeah.
24
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,902
Cousin, don't worry.
I do the laundry tonight.
25
00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:44,172
Mmm.
Oh, wait a minute.
I, I can't.
26
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,207
I got, uh,
to study for history
27
00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:47,808
and I'm three days
behind on the dishes.
28
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:51,111
Well, now I barely have
time to eat breakfast.
29
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:56,350
but there are no clean bowls
for your cereal.
30
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,621
there are no clean spoons
for your cereal.
31
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,192
(EXHALES)
32
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:06,360
Care for a handful of cereal?
33
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,731
Balki, the apartment
is a mess.
34
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:13,100
Mmm.
35
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:14,935
and my extra work at the paper,
we don't have time
36
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:17,905
to get caught up on
the household chores anymore.
37
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,640
I think we should get a maid.
38
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:22,876
Cousin, I hardly think getting
a young woman to milk a goat
39
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:25,613
is going to solve our problem.
40
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,915
Not a milkmaid.
41
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,751
I'm talking about a maid.
42
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:33,086
Someone who comes in while
we're at work, cleans up
43
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,755
and is gone
by the time we get home.
44
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:38,292
Oh, On Mypos, we call
those people thieves.
45
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:42,563
(EXHALES) Well, in America
we call them maids
46
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:44,465
and we're going to get one.
47
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:46,166
We're gonna hire someone
to come in once a week
48
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:48,202
and clean this place up.
49
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,471
Fine by me.
50
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:53,841
Milk?
51
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,753
Ugh.
Cousin...
52
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,688
I've been lookin'
for two days and nothin'.
53
00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:09,590
I can't believe what
they charge for housekeepers.
54
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:13,427
Well, wait till
you hear this, I got--
55
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:16,230
Well, wait till
you hear this...
It's impossible to find a maid
56
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,131
who'll work for $35 a day.
57
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,100
Cousin, I found a maid.
58
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,302
You did?
Yeah.
59
00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:24,772
You found a maid?
Yeah!
60
00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,540
No.
61
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:29,243
I found someone who's
willing to work every day
62
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:31,645
for $35 a week.
63
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,982
Can I sniff out
a bargain or what?
64
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:38,686
There's gotta be a catch.
65
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:41,389
You gotta be crazy
to work for $35 a week.
66
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,826
You didn't hire
a crazy person, did you?
67
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:49,930
Well, of course I didn't,
don't be ridiculous.
68
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:53,601
Would I give
the week's grocery money
69
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,069
to a crazy person
to shop for us?
70
00:03:56,136 --> 00:04:00,508
You gave the week's grocery
money to a total stranger?
71
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:04,612
Cousin,
try to pay attention.
72
00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:08,882
I didn't give the week's
grocery money to
a total stranger.
73
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,552
I gave it to a woman
who I have very,
74
00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:14,588
very good feeling about.
75
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:21,929
Yes.
Oh, well, I stand corrected.
76
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:25,333
It's okay.
77
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:27,568
No.
You are the crazy person!
78
00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:29,670
What is the matter with you?
79
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,505
Balki, that's the last
you'll see of her.
80
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,707
She's probably out
blowing our money at the track.
81
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:37,945
Uh. Oh,
I'm sorry it took so long,
but I got a butcher
82
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:40,047
who didn't know his ribs
from his rump.
83
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:46,320
Oh, you must be Larry.
84
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,356
I've heard a lot about you.
85
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:52,660
Listen, I've seen your bedroom.
I think I can save it.
86
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:54,562
Uh.
87
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,630
Cousin, this, this is she.
88
00:04:56,697 --> 00:05:00,000
This is our new housekeeper.
89
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,169
I like you to meet
Mrs. Bailey.
90
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:05,072
Mrs. Bailey, I...
I think there's been
a misunderstanding.
91
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,074
Oh, you probably think
you're dealing
92
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,876
with a crazy person, right?
93
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,944
Well, well, why would
I think that?
94
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,580
Well, because
only a crazy person
95
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,314
would work for $35 a week.
96
00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:16,784
Well, that does seem logical.
97
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:20,621
The only thing
that makes me crazy
98
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,790
(CHUCKLING)
I don't need the money.
99
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,792
It's the work
that makes me happy.
100
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,094
You got
an eight-inch
spring form cake pan?
101
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,900
I, uh, kinda doubt it.
102
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:35,002
Well, now, I've got
just enough time
103
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:37,938
to do the laundry
before I start making dinner.
104
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,541
You boys like chocolate cake?
Yes.
105
00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:42,576
It's Cousin Larry's favorite.
106
00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:44,545
Then chocolate it is.
107
00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:46,079
Wait. Uh, uh, here
108
00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:47,548
uh, Mrs. Bailey, let
me give you a hand...
109
00:05:47,615 --> 00:05:49,583
No, no, no. That's my job.
110
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:51,685
Your job is to get
these clothes dirty.
111
00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:54,422
And by the looks of things,
you're the best.
112
00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:58,125
Thanks. I'll be back.
113
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:02,763
Well, uh, cousin, it appears
114
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:07,067
that someone has found us
a rather incredible maid.
115
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:12,540
Is there anything you'd like
to say to that someone?
116
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:15,709
Yes.
117
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:18,846
What the hell is
an eight-inch
spring form cake pan?
118
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:31,158
Good morning, Harriette.
119
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,260
Oh, good morning, baby.
120
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:36,096
Mmm-mmm, look at you.
121
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:39,567
I haven't seen you this
wrinkle-free in ages.
122
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,034
That new maid
must really be somethin'.
123
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,402
Oh, yes, she is something.
124
00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:44,371
She is somethin'.
125
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:47,074
She's there early
before we get up,
has a big breakfast waiting.
126
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:51,645
Dinner's ready
when we get home.
127
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:52,946
She even turns down the beds
128
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,148
and has a little mint
on the pillow.
129
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,253
Yeah.
130
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,356
And I should be happy.
131
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,025
So what's the problem?
132
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:08,696
Well, uh, I...
I don't know.
133
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:11,398
I got somebody who waits
on me hand and foot
134
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:12,666
and, uh,
135
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:18,606
Look, you're never
gonna believe this.
136
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:21,074
HARRIETTE: What, what, what?
137
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,410
Mr. Gorpley's in a good mood.
You're kidding.
138
00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:26,246
No, he, he let me play
darts with him.
139
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,648
Is that right?
Yeah.
140
00:07:27,715 --> 00:07:29,750
I got to hold the board.
141
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,456
What's that
on your shirt, baby?
142
00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:39,292
Oh, this is a...
A note that Mrs. Bailey
143
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:42,229
pinned to me to remind me
to take my vitamins.
144
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,597
Isn't it a good idea?
145
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:45,933
Now, Cousin Larry
and I will never...
146
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,301
Cousin Larry and I will never
147
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:51,639
forget anything.
148
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:54,708
I think I can
remember to floss.
149
00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:57,778
Well, I certainly hope so
150
00:07:57,845 --> 00:08:00,948
because as Mrs. Bailey says,
151
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:05,719
plaque is the leading cause of
tooth decay and gingivitis.
152
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:07,721
Mmm.
153
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,890
Mrs. Bailey is so smart.
154
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:11,559
I always thought
that gingivitis
155
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:14,094
was Fred Astaire's
dancing partner
156
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:18,732
Oh, there you are.
157
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:21,802
Mrs. Bailey! Mrs. Bailey!
158
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:25,038
Oh, oh, what am I
gonna do with you boys?
159
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,340
You walked right out
without taking your galoshes.
160
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,743
I mean, it's bad enough
you're gonna ruin your shoes
161
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:34,314
you wanna ruin
your health, too?
162
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:35,949
I'm so sorry.
163
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,517
Oh, and you came
all the way down here.
164
00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:39,086
You shouldn't have
come down here.
165
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:41,755
Uh, he's right.
You really shouldn't have.
166
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:44,291
Bartokomous!
167
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,459
Get these memos out
to everybody in circulation.
168
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:47,828
Okay.
169
00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:49,162
See to it that all
these sacks are sorted.
170
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,564
Oh, okay.
171
00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:52,365
And remember to get all
your pick-ups done early today.
172
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:53,567
Okay.
173
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,636
Go! Go...
Okay.
174
00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:58,238
Pardon me, young man.
175
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:01,008
There is a nicer way
to ask for things.
176
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:06,847
And I didn't once hear
you use the magic word.
177
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:14,221
Excuse me?
No, no, no. Not excuse me.
178
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,291
Please.
179
00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:20,794
And you should smile more.
180
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:23,296
Balki, come here.
181
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:26,800
Say you're sorry.
182
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,942
I'm sorry.
183
00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:48,521
Is he always like that?
184
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,157
No.
185
00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:55,128
Sometimes he'll wear a plaid.
186
00:09:55,195 --> 00:10:00,734
Oh, I almost forgot.
187
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,169
You did?
Mmm-hmm.
188
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,904
Now, be honest.
189
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,606
I've never worked
with snout before.
190
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:11,679
Just like Mama used to make.
191
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,914
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
192
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,515
Mrs. Bailey, let's go offer
193
00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:18,251
the uneaten ones to my friend
Jimmy the security guard.
194
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,821
Oh, that'll be fun.
Okay. Come on.
195
00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:24,024
Oh, Larry, what did I
tell you about your posture?
196
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,293
That's better.
197
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,764
BALKI: Jimmy! Jimmy!
198
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:33,266
You've got a problem, baby.
199
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:36,737
You didn't hire a maid,
you hired a mother.
200
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:51,484
Wow.
201
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,754
That was some concert, huh?
202
00:10:53,821 --> 00:11:00,894
I just love George Michael.
203
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:03,864
You know, when he sang
Careless Whisper, I melted.
204
00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:07,434
Just makes me feel so romantic.
205
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:15,375
Well, why don't you select
some music to sustain the mood?
206
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:20,280
And we'll be right back.
207
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,348
Balki.
208
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:30,791
I think this could be
the greatest night of my life.
209
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:34,394
Now, when we go back
into the living room,
I'll dim the lights,
210
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,329
ask Jennifer to dance and then
211
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:39,032
when I feel the time
is right, I'll do this.
212
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:43,203
Why would anybody do this?
213
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,841
Because when I do this,
214
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:49,943
that means
that you will tell
215
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,279
Mary Anne that you want
to go upstairs and see her
216
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:55,448
Great Cities of the World
place mat collection.
217
00:11:57,818 --> 00:12:00,287
I've already seen it.
218
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:03,056
I was quite disappointed
in Barcelona.
219
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:06,426
Balki, trust me.
220
00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:09,396
Barcelona is much prettier
this time of year.
221
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,934
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
222
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:31,318
May I have this dance?
223
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:33,453
Why, yes, you may.
224
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:41,028
So, uh, Mary Anne,
225
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:44,231
uh, would you like to
226
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:47,000
join with Larry and Jennifer?
227
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,352
What...
228
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:18,899
Ooh.
229
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:03,443
Wow.
230
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:13,220
Uh, Mary Anne,
why don't you take Balki
upstairs and show him
231
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:16,089
your Great Cities of the World
place mat collection?
232
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,432
Well, okay.
233
00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:30,270
(DOOR OPENS)
234
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:35,008
Oh, you're home.
235
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,177
Mrs. Bailey.
236
00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:39,846
Mrs. Bailey.
Yes...
237
00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:41,748
Listen, I want you
to meet our friends.
238
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:44,284
This is Mary Anne.
239
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,053
And, uh, this is Jennifer.
240
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,854
Hello, Jennifer.
Hi.
241
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:49,656
And this,
this is Mrs. Bailey
242
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:53,793
our new housekeeper.
243
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:55,595
I work here.
244
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:58,431
Oh, honey, this
one's crazy about you.
245
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,469
Uh, listen, Mrs. Bailey,
246
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:06,306
I think you've done
enough work for one day.
247
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:08,308
Now, why don't you take
the rest of the evening off?
248
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:11,111
Oh, Larry, that's
so sweet of you.
249
00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:13,180
Well, if I don't have
to fold the clothes,
250
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,615
why don't I mix up a batch
of chocolate chip cookies
251
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:18,251
and then I can get
to know your friends better.
252
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:22,289
Chocolate chip cookies!
What a great idea.
253
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:26,026
Yeah, I really think it's,
uh, kind of late for all this.
254
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:28,295
Yeah, it is late.
We better be going.
255
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,330
What? What?
Uh, you're leaving?
256
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:32,865
Well, Larry, I have to get
up early tomorrow morning
257
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,002
and we've kind of
lost the mood.
258
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:37,704
Oh, no, no, no. We haven't.
259
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,474
Once she's gone,
the lights go down,
260
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,776
the music will come up
and I'll find
261
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:46,313
the mood if it kills me.
262
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:53,987
Larry, I'll talk
to you tomorrow.
263
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:57,157
Yeah, but...
(STAMMERS)
264
00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:59,292
and look at
my place mats or what?
265
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:04,664
Did your dates leave?
266
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,234
Yes, yes, they did.
267
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:12,572
Oh. I hope I didn't
ruin the evening.
268
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:16,143
Oh, no, no, Mrs. Bailey.
You didn't ruin anything.
269
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:18,645
They always leave
around this time.
270
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:23,083
Anyway, we can still have
those chocolate chip cookies.
271
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:30,490
Aw, of course we can.
272
00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:31,991
Here we go.
273
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:41,434
All right, Balki. We have
to talk about Mrs. Bailey.
274
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,736
Well, well, you know,
that's a good idea.
275
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:47,640
Look, it's midnight
276
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:50,009
We should give her a raise.
277
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:53,380
A raise wasn't
what I had in mind.
278
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:57,117
Look, Balki,
I like Mrs. Bailey
as much as anybody
279
00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:59,219
but it's like
living with my mother.
280
00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:02,255
I know it.
It gets better and better.
281
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:06,193
Mrs. Bailey
is driving me crazy.
282
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:08,228
Cousin, what are
you talking about?
283
00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:10,830
Mrs. Bailey's
a wonderful woman
284
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,499
and a terrific housekeeper.
285
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:15,502
She's everything
we wanted and more.
286
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:19,072
It's the more that's
driving me crazy.
287
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,973
It's the more
that is always here
288
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,475
when I want to be alone.
289
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,043
It's the more that
always makes sure
290
00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,379
I wash my hands before dinner.
291
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,848
And it's the more that ruined
292
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:35,388
what could have been
293
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:39,092
So what are you saying?
294
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:44,631
I am saying I just wanted
someone who would come in
and clean up a little,
295
00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:47,600
not someone who would tuck me
in every night.
296
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:50,036
Balki, I'm going to have
to fire Mrs. Bailey.
297
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:52,205
Well, you can kiss
that notion goodbye.
298
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:54,040
Mrs. Bailey likes
taking care of us
299
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,176
and I like being taken care of.
300
00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:58,878
So it's two against
one. She stays.
301
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:02,682
No, Balki, no,
I should go.
302
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:05,752
Oh, Mrs. Bailey,
I didn't mean, uh...
303
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:09,289
No, that's all right.
What I, what I meant...
304
00:18:09,356 --> 00:18:10,990
Mrs. Bailey, I'm sorry, I...
Please don't do this...
305
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:14,060
Please, please,
don't apologize.
306
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:17,164
It's just a situation
that didn't work out.
307
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:21,601
I'm very pleased
to have met you both.
308
00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:24,871
And I'm sure you'll find
someone more suitable.
309
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,642
Please don't...
Please don't, don't...
310
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:34,314
Aah, look, uh, Balki,
believe me that
311
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:36,216
this is, this is
really not what I had...
312
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:37,517
(DOOR SLAMS)
313
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:38,685
...in mind.
314
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:57,136
Oh. Hey, buddy.
You're home early.
315
00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:01,474
So how was class?
316
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,348
Eh, Balki?
317
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,683
Balki?
318
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:13,586
I think you
should know that, that...
319
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:14,954
(SIGHS)
320
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,689
Okay, it's been
three days now.
321
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:19,792
Balki, how long you
gonna keep this goin'?
322
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:22,795
Forever or until
you hire Mrs. Bailey back,
323
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,231
which ever comes first.
324
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,768
Well, Balki, I'm not gonna
hire Mrs. Bailey back.
325
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:31,471
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
326
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:37,510
Oh.
Oh, hi, Mrs. Bailey.
327
00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:40,012
Hi, Larry.
Come on in. Sit down.
328
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,113
This is for you and Balki.
329
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,383
Oh, thank you.
330
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,552
Oh, my goodness.
331
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:48,855
Three days and this place
hasn't fallen apart?
332
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:51,658
My, I'm proud of you.
Well, thanks.
333
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:54,961
Mrs. Bailey! Mrs. Bailey,
you came back!
334
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,729
You came back!
335
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,465
She came back!
336
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:01,434
I still can't believe
what you boys did for me.
337
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:03,870
I just had to come back
and say thank you.
338
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,339
Thank us? For what?
339
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,575
Well, we were glad to do it.
340
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,710
Took a little legwork,
but when Balki and I found
341
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:13,079
that sorority at Northwestern
that needed a housemother,
342
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:16,449
well, we both knew you'd
be perfect for the job.
343
00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:19,552
You were so right.
I've never enjoyed a job more.
344
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:23,022
(STAMMERS) But don't
you enjoy working for us?
345
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:26,793
Oh, of course, sweetheart.
346
00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:30,463
But Larry was right.
I really don't belong here.
347
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,332
We need you.
No, you don't.
348
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,100
Yes, I do.
No, you don't.
349
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,569
You can take care
of yourself.
350
00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:39,739
But these college kids, they
really need me.
351
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,209
Oh, well,
I've got to get going
352
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:45,011
but please, come
and visit me, will you?
353
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,414
Oh. Sure, we will.
Oh, that's great.
354
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,849
Come on.
And enjoy the cake.
355
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:52,919
Don't forget now,
come and visit.
356
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:54,220
Oh, we will.
Will do, will do.
357
00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:56,022
Ooh, ooh, one more thing.
358
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:59,792
Try to make it a habit
to keep the toilet seat down.
359
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,794
You'll thank me
when you get married.
360
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:09,669
Well, I'll be snookered.
361
00:21:10,837 --> 00:21:13,306
You went out
and found Mrs. Bailey
362
00:21:13,373 --> 00:21:15,542
a job that makes her happy.
363
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:20,347
Oh, Balki, was that you?
364
00:21:23,383 --> 00:21:25,518
It's been so long
since I heard it.
365
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:35,328
Uh, cousin...
366
00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:38,498
Um, I'm sorry.
367
00:21:38,565 --> 00:21:40,567
I feel awful.
368
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:43,235
You know, for...
For three days
369
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:45,137
I've done nothing
370
00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:46,873
but sit in my bedroom
371
00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:49,108
and be angry at you.
372
00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:51,444
Oh, is that where you were?
I was so worried.
373
00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:53,480
I thought you moved out.
374
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:58,317
You're not gonna
make this easy, are you?
375
00:21:58,385 --> 00:21:59,752
No.
376
00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:14,901
Cousin, I apologize.
377
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:21,908
(STAMMERS) I...
378
00:22:21,974 --> 00:22:25,612
when you were out
giving of yourself.
379
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:28,114
You know, you are a saint.
380
00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:33,553
I'm humbled in your presence.
381
00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:40,827
I would be honored to be
the dirt on your shoes.
382
00:22:44,597 --> 00:22:48,200
No, dirt is too
honorable for me.
383
00:22:48,267 --> 00:22:50,770
Yeah.
Mmm.
384
00:22:50,837 --> 00:22:52,705
I would be honored to be...
Okay, okay.
385
00:22:52,772 --> 00:22:54,407
To be the mildew
on your shower curtain.
386
00:22:54,474 --> 00:22:56,709
Yeah, Balki, that's enough.
387
00:22:56,776 --> 00:22:59,045
That, that's good,
that, that's, that's good.
388
00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:01,013
Ugh...
389
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,484
Cousin, I'm sorry.
I forgive you.
390
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:11,090
Oh, good idea.
391
00:23:11,157 --> 00:23:12,992
You want, uh,
real plates or paper?
392
00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:15,294
Well, uh, let me see.
393
00:23:15,361 --> 00:23:16,463
Yours.
Paper.
394
00:23:16,529 --> 00:23:17,830
Right.
28165
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