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1
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:13,747
* Sometimes
the world looks perfect
2
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:16,217
* Nothing to rearrange
3
00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:19,187
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling
4
00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:22,590
* Like you need
some kind of change
5
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:29,663
* Nothing's gonna stand
in my way
6
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,866
* This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend
7
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:36,804
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end
8
00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:41,142
* Standing tall
9
00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:44,912
* On the wings of my dream
10
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:47,948
* Rise and fall
11
00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:51,419
* On the wings of my dream
12
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,287
* The rain and thunder
13
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:54,655
* The wind and haze
14
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:58,392
* I'm bound for better days
15
00:00:58,459 --> 00:01:01,629
* It's my life and my dream
16
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:04,665
* Nothing's
gonna stop me now *
17
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:28,689
Bartokomous. Where do you
think you're going?
18
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:32,126
Well, uh, since it's quitting
time, I was thinking
19
00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:34,528
I was going outside
to Cousin Larry's car.
20
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,798
Because sometimes--
Bartokomous.
21
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:41,435
You can't fool me. You are not
going anywhere until you compile
22
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:43,471
that new office directory.
23
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:46,140
I guess that means you'll be
working late tonight.
24
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:49,177
Well, no, because
25
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:50,911
I already finish it.
26
00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:52,646
What--
Look.
27
00:01:57,818 --> 00:02:01,555
and indexed and cross-referenced
according to blood type.
28
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,524
And look...
29
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:07,261
If anybody needs
blood type O,
30
00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:09,463
this little baby tell them
where to go.
31
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,034
Keep smiling, Bartokomous.
32
00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:16,270
Your days here
are numbered.
33
00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:21,375
I'm so flattered you would
take the time to count them.
34
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:27,815
It makes me feel
kind of special.
35
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,917
Oh, you're special,
all right.
36
00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:36,724
Balki, I won. I won.
37
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:39,960
The winning was done by me.
I was the one who won.
38
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:41,995
I won. I won.
(LAUGHS)
39
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:43,864
I won the lottery.
40
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:45,566
The lottery? Oh.
41
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:50,170
Miss Lydia. Blow my mind,
why don't you?
42
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,408
What's the lottery?
43
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:59,213
Uh, let me take this one.
44
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,881
(CLEARS THROAT)
45
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:03,317
Sugar, the lottery is a game
run by the state
46
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,185
to raise money
for the schools.
47
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:06,754
Now, you see,
you pick six numbers
48
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:11,492
and if it's the right six,
you could win $28 million.
49
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:15,329
Miss Lydia.
You won $28 million?
50
00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:18,599
Actually, I won $100.
51
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:21,569
Five minutes ago, it seemed
like a lot of money.
52
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:27,808
Well, another edition put to bed
53
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:31,712
and once again I had absolutely
nothing to do with it.
54
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:36,584
Cousin, do you know anything
about the lottery?
55
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:40,588
Oh, sure, Balki. The lottery is
a scam run by the state
56
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:45,225
to take advantage of people who
didn't show up when they were
passing out brains.
57
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:51,064
Right, Lydia?
58
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:53,334
Drop dead, Larry.
59
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:57,305
Thanks a lot. Now I've got to
listen to her whine
60
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:59,707
all the way to the fifth floor.
61
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,476
I cannot believe
that he said that to me--
62
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,451
Oh, shoot.
63
00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:12,520
Cousin, I want play the lottery.
64
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,456
No. You can't play
the lottery. No, Balki.
I want play the lottery--
65
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:18,959
The chances of winning
the lottery are astronomical.
66
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:21,161
Well, if it's good enough
for our space program
67
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:24,532
it's good enough for me.
No, no. Balki, Balki.
68
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,401
You got a better chance
of getting hit by a car.
69
00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:30,604
Well, sure I do, but...
70
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,473
...who wants to buy
a ticket for that?
71
00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:35,175
No, Balki. You're not playing
the lottery.
72
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:38,446
No, Balki. Balki. Balki...
73
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:52,660
* If I were a rich man
74
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,728
(HUMMING)
75
00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:03,203
* If I were a wealthy man... *
76
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:06,273
I can't believe that after
everything I said
77
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,576
you still bought
a lottery ticket.
78
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,378
I can't believe you give
me the dollar.
79
00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:11,845
No, I didn't give you
the dollar.
80
00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:14,147
I lent you the dollar
and I want it back.
81
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:15,749
Okay, cousin.
82
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,756
Here you go. But first,
83
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,792
I would like to offer
you the opportunity
84
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,894
to buy half
my lottery ticket.
85
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,295
No, thanks.
86
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,664
Cousin, after all,
you took me in,
87
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,900
you gave me shelter,
you feed me, you--
88
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:36,036
Just give me my dollar
and we'll call it even.
89
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:38,138
But Cousin,
90
00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:40,073
I'm a simple sheepherder.
91
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:42,610
My needs are few.
92
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:45,613
I don't need $28 million.
93
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:49,950
I think I could
slide by with 14 million.
94
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:58,726
I just want the money
you owe me,
95
00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:07,067
Balki, look, let me
teach you a little lesson
in economic reality.
96
00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:10,504
Will this be
followed by a short
question and answer period?
97
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:13,941
Just listen.
98
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:20,113
This is a nice,
crisp dollar bill.
99
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,249
Let me read for just a moment.
100
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:26,454
"This note is legal tender for
all debts, public and private."
101
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,756
That means I can buy
things with it.
102
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:32,159
I give this to someone and they
give me things I want.
103
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,961
This, on the other hand,
104
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:37,064
is a totally worthless
piece of paper.
105
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,500
You cannot buy anything
with this, nothing.
106
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:41,802
Zip, zero, zilch.
107
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:46,874
No one with an ounce of common
sense would trade this
108
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,510
for this.
109
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,179
Unless this
110
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:56,016
were worth
28 million of those.
111
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:01,522
* I wouldn't have to work *
112
00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:04,725
(HUMMING)
113
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,768
Hurry up, Balki, it's almost
time for the drawing.
114
00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:17,404
Wouldn't it be great
if one of us actually won?
115
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:19,607
Oh. If I won I'd buy
the airline.
116
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:22,910
Then I could make up the
schedule so I don't have
to work double shifts.
117
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:29,717
You would buy the airline
just so you could change
your schedule?
118
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,885
Well, yes.
119
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,721
And then I'd decrease my
holdings but maintain
120
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,657
a controlling interest,
initiate a three-for-one
stock split
121
00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:38,726
and roll my money
into high yield junk bonds.
122
00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:47,000
What about you, Larry? What
would you do with $28 million?
123
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:52,005
Sorry, Jennifer,
I'm a newspaper man.
My beat is reality.
124
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:57,010
This is the part where he takes
the fun out of the evening.
125
00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:05,085
Balki, what would you do
if you won the lottery?
126
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:08,421
Well, um, first I would
take a big chunk
127
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,759
and pay off the Myposian
national debt.
128
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:15,262
Balki, the entire national debt?
How much is that?
129
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,130
$635.
130
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:22,903
And then after my country
is back on her feet
131
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:26,106
I would love to do something
for the poor people of Chicago.
132
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:29,710
I'd love to give homes
to the homeless,
133
00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:33,647
jobs to the jobless,
shifts to the shiftless.
134
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:38,686
Balki, that is so sweet.
135
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:41,521
Oh, look, they're doing
the drawing.
136
00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:42,923
Balki, where's your ticket?
137
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:45,058
I hide it away in a safe place,
138
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:48,095
but don't worry, I write
the numbers down right here.
139
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:51,932
MALE ANNOUNCER:
All right, everybody, get
your lottery tickets ready.
140
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:54,034
Cousin, I can't stand
the suspense.
141
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:56,503
Please, you check
the numbers for me?
Oh, golly gee, Balki.
142
00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,839
You're gonna trust me
with the winning numbers?
143
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:00,941
Back off, cousin,
just check the numbers.
144
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,476
(DRUMROLL ON TV)
145
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,245
MALE ANNOUNCER: Fifteen...
146
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:08,215
Thirty-two...
147
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:10,918
Fifty-two...
148
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:13,754
Twenty-one...
149
00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:16,624
Twenty-four...
150
00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:19,627
...and thirty-four.
151
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,334
Let's go over
those numbers again.
152
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,036
Well, that's it for me.
153
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,438
Balki, it's over.
We all lost.
154
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:32,840
What?
155
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:35,108
But... But the man at the store
tell me that
156
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:37,978
he was sure that I had
the winning numbers.
157
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,414
MARY: Oh, they say
that to everybody.
158
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,283
Larry, are you all right?
159
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:46,119
Balki. Balki...
160
00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:51,291
You've won $28 million.
161
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:56,029
I won?
You've won.
162
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,698
I won!
163
00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,733
(GIRLS CHEERING)
164
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:16,917
Good night.
Bye.
165
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:19,920
Well, I'm just
a simple sheepherder.
166
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:26,660
Who is rich beyond
my wildest dreams.
167
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:30,297
(BOTH SINGING)
168
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,368
(BOTH LAUGHING)
169
00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:41,909
I can't believe I won
the giant jackpot.
170
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:45,212
We're rich, Balki.
We're rich.
171
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:46,714
(LAUGHING)
172
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,248
Mama will be so proud.
173
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,718
We did it. We did it.
174
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:54,521
Cousin, tell me
I'm not dreaming.
175
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,023
Tell me I really won.
176
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:59,092
You're not dreaming.
We won, all right.
177
00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:04,497
Tell me again?
178
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,767
We won.
179
00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:11,371
Question...
180
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:18,678
How could we win if I bought
the lottery ticket?
181
00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:23,050
Well, don't get me wrong,
I mean,
182
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:27,855
no one questions
that you bought the ticket.
183
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:33,794
Gave you the capital.
184
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:38,799
Yes, and in gratitude,
I offered you the opportunity
185
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:42,069
to buy one half of what
I correctly claimed
186
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:45,105
was the winning ticket,
but you refused.
187
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,240
And then you made
fun of me
188
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,843
and then you accused me
of throwing my money
189
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,845
down a rat hole.
190
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,415
I've changed my mind
since then.
191
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,052
Oh, cousin...
192
00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:02,756
If only life
were that simple.
193
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,227
(STAMMERS) Balki,
I'll tell you what.
194
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:09,496
As a show of faith
I've got 20 bucks.
195
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,498
I'll go out,
buy 20 tickets
196
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:15,135
and whatever I win
we'll split 50-50.
197
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,238
So, now you
like the lottery?
198
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:19,773
Oh, I do, I do.
199
00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:23,043
That's funny because
200
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,946
if memory serves me,
and I think it does.
201
00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:29,382
When we were in the store,
I recall you told me
202
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:32,452
that if I were to look up
the word "sucker"
203
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:35,789
in a dictionary,
my picture would be there.
204
00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:39,927
Balki...
205
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,963
Please, please, please.
206
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,764
I want to be rich.
207
00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:46,333
(MUMBLES)
208
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:52,372
Cousin,
209
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:55,308
Of course, I share
my jackpot with you.
210
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:58,111
Oh, thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
211
00:12:58,178 --> 00:12:59,947
In your face,
Donald Trump.
212
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:03,083
Now, where is the
lottery ticket?
213
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:06,519
I hide it.
Good for you.
214
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,321
Where did you hide it?
215
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,994
Balki.
216
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:16,864
Do you remember
where you hid it?
217
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:20,200
Not right now.
218
00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:24,504
What do you mean,
not right now?
219
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,339
Where is it?
220
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:30,043
Well, I hide it and then
I hide it again so many times
221
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:33,446
that, that I forget
where I hide it last.
222
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:36,016
You have got to remember!
223
00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:38,385
All right, that's all right,
no problem.
224
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,087
No problem.
Take your time.
225
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:43,156
No hurry,
just try to think back.
226
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,559
You put the ticket...
227
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:49,462
I put the ticket...
You put the ticket...
228
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,331
I put the ticket...
229
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,568
In my...
230
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,905
You put the ticket in your...
231
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,708
Winter coat.
232
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:03,310
Winter coat. There.
233
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,145
(EXHALES)
234
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:13,120
Spring. Summer. Autumn.
235
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:17,557
Winter.
Oh.
236
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:19,559
(PANTING)
237
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:23,730
The ticket's not there.
It's not there?
238
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:26,066
Ha, I was sure
I put it in there.
239
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:28,435
I remember thinking
that I would put it
240
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,803
either in my winter coat
241
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:34,274
or in a cereal box.
242
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:52,159
Ah. Look, cousin.
You found it. You found it.
243
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:55,963
What is it?
It's the Captain Power
decoder ring.
244
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,071
Now I have a complete set.
245
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,675
Now you don't. Where is it?
246
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,677
Think! Think!
247
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,947
I can't think.
I was up all night.
I don't get any sleep.
248
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:16,849
(MUMBLING)
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
249
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:20,420
All right, just try
to remember.
250
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:23,890
Try to remember. You had
the ticket in your hand.
251
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:25,758
You were in the apartment...
252
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:28,695
I was in the living room.
In the living room...
253
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,530
All right, and then?
254
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,335
Over there.
255
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:38,905
And then?
256
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:41,341
I began to gaze
into the fire.
257
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,611
And then?
258
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,250
And then, and then,
and then?
259
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,287
And then...
260
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:57,690
I don't remember.
261
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:02,295
You don't remember
262
00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:05,098
where you hid
a lottery ticket
263
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:08,201
worth $28 million?
264
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:09,836
Books.
What about them?
265
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:12,105
It's hidden behind the books.
266
00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:23,750
Wait a minute.
267
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:27,654
Now that I think about it,
268
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,090
Which one? It makes
a difference, you know?
269
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:38,131
Comedies or tragedies?
Sonnets.
Sonnets.
270
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:49,509
It's not here.
It's not there?
271
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,849
(YELLING) Where is it?
272
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,419
Think! Think!
273
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:05,158
I can't think.
There's no air to my brain.
274
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,462
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
Oh, that's better.
275
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:14,701
I must have hidden it underneath
the corner of the carpet.
276
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,404
Impossible. I would've found
it when I vacuumed.
277
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:27,514
(PANTING)
278
00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:46,333
It's not in there.
279
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:51,804
All right, it's gotta be
here somewhere.
280
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,073
You take the kitchen.
I'll take the living room.
281
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:56,609
The kitchen!
The kitchen, the kitchen!
282
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,784
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
283
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,520
BOTH: Come in.
284
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:14,761
Wow. You guys got
eccentric fast.
285
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:19,366
Larry, what happened?
Were you robbed?
286
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,301
I lost a lottery ticket.
287
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:23,470
(BOTH SOBBING)
288
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:28,241
Well, easy come,
easy go.
289
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,881
Well, listen, uh, we have
to work a flight
290
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:38,185
but we'll be back tonight and
we'll just help you find it.
291
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:40,953
BOTH: Thank you.
292
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:44,591
Oh, Balki. Here's that envelope
you asked me to hold for you.
293
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,510
Balki.
294
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:06,913
Cousin, we're multiple
millionaires again.
295
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,450
(BOTH SCREAMING)
296
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:27,734
Hello, listen.
297
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,237
you'll find that we're the
lottery's newest millionaires.
298
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,206
Large bills will be fine.
299
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,442
Yeah. We issue checks
for anything over $100.
300
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,645
Well, I guess this is
one check we won't be cashing
at the Quick Shop.
301
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:42,249
Yeah, mind if I check
the numbers?
302
00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:45,852
We like to do that before we
hand over $28 million.
303
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,754
BOTH: Oh, of course.
304
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:50,590
Fifteen, 15.
305
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,260
Thirty-two, 32.
306
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:55,728
Fifty-two, 52.
307
00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:59,632
Twenty-one, 21.
308
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:02,802
Twenty-four, 27.
Hold it.
309
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,704
Thirty-four, 37.
310
00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:07,540
No, those aren't
the right numbers.
311
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,376
You know, that same thought
just occurred to me.
312
00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:13,380
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
313
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:16,416
right on this piece of paper.
314
00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:20,953
Yeah, 15, 32, 52, 21...
315
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,822
Yeah, now, is that a four
or a seven?
316
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,091
Four. What do you mean a seven?
Seven.
317
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:27,527
Now, I can see how you might
think that it was a four.
318
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:29,629
It's got that little line
through the middle.
319
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:31,998
I also put that
through my Zs
320
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,600
so that nobody thinks
they're twos.
321
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:36,168
Who cares about your Zs?
I want our money.
322
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,538
Give me our $28 million.
323
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:40,473
Sir, this ticket has
the wrong number.
324
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,208
Who cares about this ticket?
325
00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:43,710
Look, look at this paper.
326
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,078
It has got to be worth
at least a million.
327
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:47,547
Cousin...
328
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:50,350
Remember, reality
is your beat
329
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:52,419
and the beat goes on.
330
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:55,355
Wait, you did
match four numbers.
331
00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:57,156
You won $100.
332
00:20:57,223 --> 00:20:58,758
Thank you.
Very nice of you.
333
00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:00,893
Come along, cousin.
I don't want $100.
334
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,263
Isn't it nice?
I want $28 million.
335
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:17,444
That's the story of my life.
336
00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:21,914
What made me think
I could win the lottery?
337
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:30,423
But, cousin.
We did win the lottery.
338
00:21:33,259 --> 00:21:35,261
We picked four numbers
out of six.
339
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:36,729
We won $100.
340
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:39,832
Big deal. What's $100?
341
00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:42,101
What's $100?
342
00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:45,505
It's one pair of Air Jordan
basketball shoes.
343
00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:51,077
It's 20 trips to the top
of the Sears Tower.
344
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:59,185
It's a four-year subscription to
Sports Illustrated magazine,
345
00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:01,354
which if we order now, includes
346
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:04,357
the baseball preview
and the swimsuit issue.
347
00:22:12,064 --> 00:22:13,600
Balki.
348
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,301
How do you do it?
349
00:22:15,368 --> 00:22:20,139
Cousin, you just take a little
postcard out of the magazine...
350
00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:23,510
No, no, no. No, no.
351
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:36,589
and I see the $27,999,900
we lost.
352
00:22:38,891 --> 00:22:40,893
Well, now, cousin.
You're comparing
353
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:44,263
the $28 million
you thought you had yesterday
354
00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:47,500
with the $100
that you do have today.
355
00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:51,671
And I'm comparing the $100
that we do have today
356
00:22:51,738 --> 00:22:55,007
with the $100 that we did
not have yesterday.
357
00:23:00,647 --> 00:23:04,584
(SIGHS) Balki, you're right.
358
00:23:04,651 --> 00:23:11,290
You know, I guess.
I see the glass half-empty.
359
00:23:11,357 --> 00:23:15,428
And you, you, you...
360
00:23:15,495 --> 00:23:18,931
Always see the glass half-full.
361
00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:26,873
Cousin...
362
00:23:26,939 --> 00:23:29,041
I don't see a glass
at all.
25991
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