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1
00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:03,837
♪ MTV ♪
2
00:00:26,459 --> 00:00:27,426
Thank goodness you're home.
3
00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:28,862
I really need you right now.
4
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:30,364
I dropped my ring
down the drain.
5
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:31,398
Do you guys know how to--
6
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:33,466
Whoa.
7
00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:37,470
Well, who was it?
8
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:40,606
It was like, um,
a poptical illusion.
9
00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:42,543
I thought it was that
hot chick from downstairs
10
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,744
telling me that she
really needs me right now.
11
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:46,445
No, Beavis,
I'm sure that really
12
00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:48,682
happened and wasn't a dream.
13
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:54,253
Oh, yeah.
14
00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:56,524
We're never gonna score.
15
00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:59,759
Yeah, really.
16
00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:03,395
Damn landlord butthole again.
17
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,832
If I wanted to pay the rent,
I would have done it already.
18
00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,033
Yeah.
19
00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:10,670
When's he gonna learn?
20
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:13,039
Whoa!
21
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,774
Um, Butt-Head,
it's happening again.
22
00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:16,910
I'm having that illusion.
Come look.
23
00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:18,245
Why'd you shut
the door on me?
24
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:21,047
He doesn't have
a big IQ, ma'am.
25
00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:23,416
You know what the
counselor said it was?
26
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:24,917
69.
27
00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:28,855
Do you know anything
about plumbing?
28
00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:30,990
I dropped my mom's
ring down the drain.
29
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:33,325
Don't you worry.
30
00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:37,598
I think we know how
to handle our pipes.
31
00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:40,767
How about that?
32
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:42,802
Is the ring out?
33
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:44,571
Uh, not yet.
34
00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:47,741
Let me try the plunger again.
35
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:51,077
And there we go.
36
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:57,584
I think it's working!
37
00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:58,752
You guys can go home.
38
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,420
I called a real plumber.
39
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:01,787
Yeah, probably a good idea.
40
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,523
You know, let a pro
deal with it, you know.
41
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:05,992
No, dumbass.
42
00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:07,059
That hot chick needs us.
43
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:08,362
We're doing this.
44
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,730
Now I'm going to put
my hand down the drain.
45
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,265
Uh-huh, yeah.
46
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:15,267
So whatever you do, don't
turn on that garbage
47
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:16,702
disposal thing.
- OK, got it.
48
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:18,537
Yeah.
49
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:20,974
Yeah, so turn it
on then, right?
50
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:22,708
No, dumbass.
51
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:25,979
Do not turn it on.
52
00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,880
OK.
53
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,616
Well, it seems kind of
crazy, but, um, I'll do it.
54
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:35,187
Hold it right there, asswipes.
55
00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:40,727
Get your goddamn hand out
of that drain right now.
56
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:42,095
Todd?
57
00:02:42,096 --> 00:02:43,997
It's really Todd.
58
00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:54,040
♪ How it must feel
to be a bird ♪
59
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,175
Ugh.
60
00:02:55,275 --> 00:03:01,580
Is this guy Irish?
61
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:04,150
Oh, he's Irish, all right.
62
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:07,320
"I-rish" he would
shut up and stop singing.
63
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:09,889
Yeah.
64
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:13,326
I think that was
a dad joke, Butt-Head.
65
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,795
Uh, how would
you know, Beavis?
66
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:19,698
You don't have a dad.
- Oh, yeah.
67
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,100
That's true.
68
00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:24,705
A dad joke for you
would be like, "Beavis,
69
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,672
"I'm glad you're my son.
70
00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:29,008
"I want to spend
more time with you.
71
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:31,545
And everyone knows
if I'm alive or dead."
72
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,348
Oh, yeah.
73
00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:38,418
Yeah, that's pretty good.
74
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,893
Oh, boy.
75
00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:49,262
Is this song ever gonna, like,
speed up or something?
76
00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:51,931
Uh, no.
77
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:54,067
I think it's getting slower.
78
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:57,837
I think I know
what he's doing here.
79
00:03:57,838 --> 00:04:00,306
See, it's really slow
now, but it's just gonna
80
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:03,042
kick in any second,
you know?
81
00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:04,076
Yeah, yeah, here it comes.
Yeah.
82
00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:06,879
Dooo-do-do-do-do-do-do-doo!
83
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,716
Bo-bo bu-pah bu- pah, bu-tah!
Boooh! Whooaa!
84
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:11,750
Drop the bass.
Wooo-aahhh!
85
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,620
Boo-boo-boo-boo-wha
boo-boo-boo-boo bah-bah
86
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,489
boo-boo-boo-boo bah-bah
boo-boo-boo-boo bah-bah
87
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,890
boo-boo-boo-boo bah-bah
boo-boo-boo-boo bah-bah!
88
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,793
♪ How does it feel
to be a bird? ♪
89
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,895
Whaaaaa!
90
00:04:21,896 --> 00:04:23,663
♪ And I'm tellin' you home
is so sweet ♪
91
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,431
Um, no.
92
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,999
I guess I was wrong.
93
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,703
Uh, I think now
there's less bass.
94
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:34,207
He didn't drop anything.
95
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:38,611
Yeah, I guess not.
Oh, boy.
96
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:39,946
♪ That's what she asked me ♪
97
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:41,648
This guy looks like
one of those guys
98
00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:44,216
where, like, his dad
wanted him to learn to box
99
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,119
and become a fighter,
but he wanted
100
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,155
to sit around and write poems.
101
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:52,959
His dad was right.
102
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,561
Yeah, yeah, really.
103
00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:55,662
He was like...
104
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:57,163
"No, dad, I don't want
105
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:58,298
"to learn to fight.
106
00:04:58,398 --> 00:05:00,065
My words are my fists."
107
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:02,969
And then his dad
was like...
108
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,039
"Well, my fists are my fists."
109
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:07,340
And then he punched
him in the face.
110
00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:13,312
Whoa.
111
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:16,148
Is he doing laundry now?
112
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,384
Yeah.
113
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,886
He wet the bed.
114
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,620
"Quit your
whimpering and your whining
115
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:23,990
"and do some laundry!
116
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,125
"Your sheets need
a good washin'.
117
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:28,028
"You've been in there
spanking your wee monkey,
118
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:29,362
Dermot Kennedy."
119
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:36,102
You know, this is,
like, the most bad that it
120
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:38,605
could possibly be, you know?
121
00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:40,173
Yeah.
122
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:42,275
He, like, showed the
video to his friends,
123
00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:47,146
and they were like, "Uh,
Dermot, this kind of sucks."
124
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:50,016
And then he was like, "Kind of?
125
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,051
"Well, just watch me.
126
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,186
"I'm gonna make it suck
harder than anything
127
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,689
has ever sucked before."
128
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,993
"More birds.
129
00:05:59,994 --> 00:06:02,762
More shots of the water."
- Yeah.
130
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,964
"And no drums.
131
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,167
"If I hear the sound
of one drum, I'm gonna
132
00:06:07,168 --> 00:06:09,235
punch you with my words."
133
00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:12,839
Yeah.
134
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,340
♪ When I'm face to face
with death ♪
135
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:15,374
♪ I'll grab his throat ♪
136
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,577
Self-expression sucks.
137
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:21,748
Yeah.
138
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,724
So, do you remember that
time you threw us in your trunk
139
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:33,059
by the railroad tracks?
140
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:36,929
No.
141
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:40,233
Uh, do you remember when
you threw us in your trunk
142
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,435
at the pool?
143
00:06:45,139 --> 00:06:46,639
No.
144
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,109
What about the time you threw
us in your trunk by the creek?
145
00:06:49,110 --> 00:06:50,877
Do you remember that one?
146
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:55,415
Huh.
147
00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:58,184
I guess I do remember messing
with a couple of losers
148
00:06:58,185 --> 00:06:59,719
who were always in my face.
149
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,587
Yes! Yes!
He remembers us!
150
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:04,024
Those were the happiest
times of our lives.
151
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,393
And there it is.
152
00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:08,862
Philena!
153
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,830
Got something for you.
154
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,732
Oh, thank you so much.
155
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:14,734
Thank you, Todd.
156
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:17,069
Thank you.
157
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:20,173
I'll get my checkbook.
158
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,240
Whoa.
159
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:22,942
How'd you do that?
160
00:07:23,978 --> 00:07:25,345
Easy, man.
161
00:07:25,346 --> 00:07:26,946
I pull some chick's
ring out of her drain
162
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,681
just about every damn day.
163
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,249
And they always
hug you like that?
164
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:32,051
- And that ain't all they do.
- Whoa.
165
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:35,054
Really?
We want to be plumbers.
166
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:36,455
Yes.
167
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,024
Teach us, Todd.
168
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,027
Teach us the way of the pipe.
169
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,496
You know, maybe I do
owe you for all the crap
170
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:44,865
I did back in the day.
171
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,566
They call it bullying
now, I guess.
172
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:48,668
Yeah, bullying is cool.
Yeah.
173
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:52,104
Yeah, I'm doing
a job on Fifth and Green.
174
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:56,276
Be there tomorrow, and you
can start your education.
175
00:07:56,277 --> 00:07:59,479
Beavis, Todd is going
to turn us into plumbers.
176
00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:02,048
And then we will score.
177
00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:05,752
Pipe.
178
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:09,989
By the end of the day, we can
test the hookup to the street.
179
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,157
Todd!
Hey, Todd!
180
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:14,026
Hey, Todd!
Hey, it's us.
181
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:17,163
Yeah, Todd.
We got here early.
182
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:20,400
So when do we start scoring?
183
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,536
Got no time to screw
around, asswipes.
184
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:24,371
We gotta lay
a lot of pipe today.
185
00:08:27,141 --> 00:08:28,542
Shut up.
186
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,176
OK, I'll walk you through this.
187
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:32,645
First, we're gonna
cut some 2-inch holes.
188
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:35,049
"Hole."
189
00:08:35,149 --> 00:08:36,816
I said shut up!
190
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,252
Sorry, Todd.
191
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:41,388
You're, like, so cool that
sometimes when you say things,
192
00:08:41,389 --> 00:08:42,789
I like, get distracted--
193
00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:45,124
Jesus Christ, you dumbass!
194
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:48,161
Put that down now!
195
00:08:48,162 --> 00:08:50,396
You know what?
196
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:52,999
I got a better job for you two.
197
00:08:54,402 --> 00:08:57,571
So what I need you
two dickheads to do
198
00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:01,574
is go down there, find the
shit pipe, and clean it out.
199
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,209
- Really?
- Whoa.
200
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,779
You'd trust us with that?
201
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,080
Fair warning.
202
00:09:07,081 --> 00:09:09,116
You're going to find
all kinds of excrement--
203
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,116
and I do mean all kinds,
204
00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:13,987
plus motor oil,
congealed fat,
205
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:16,723
razor blades,
things of this nature.
206
00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:20,693
Usually, we use a rooter, but
this job calls for bare hands.
207
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,094
- Makes sense to me.
- Yeah, sounds right.
208
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,095
Yeah.
209
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,865
Goggles off, gloves off.
210
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,266
Take your time.
211
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,535
Make sure you touch everything.
212
00:09:28,536 --> 00:09:29,769
We will, Todd.
213
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:33,038
You can count on us.
214
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:36,375
I can't believe we're
doing this on day one.
215
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,177
Yep.
216
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:39,613
This kicks ass.
217
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:42,047
It's really something,
you know.
218
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,817
Ooh, there's some excrement.
219
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:48,120
Wow, Butt-Head.
220
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,389
This must be what
plumbers smell like.
221
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,891
That's right.
222
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:54,960
When chicks get a whiff of
this, they're gonna go crazy.
223
00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:57,096
Ooh, yeah.
224
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,598
Bad news, pussies.
225
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,300
Since you guys went
in the shit pipe,
226
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,602
there's been a downturn
in the plumbing business.
227
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:04,370
You're fired.
228
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,774
Well, at least we
helped you out, you know.
229
00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:08,141
Uh, you didn't.
230
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,109
I just made you
touch a lot of shit.
231
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,879
Cool.
But you're gonna pay us, right?
232
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,848
No, I'm not gonna do that.
233
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,217
Yeah, Beavis.
234
00:10:17,218 --> 00:10:19,453
He's not gonna do that.
235
00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:20,753
Dumbass.
236
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,623
I got a better idea.
237
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,270
Just like old times,
you know?
238
00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:38,705
Yeah.
239
00:10:38,706 --> 00:10:40,273
Makes me feel young again.
240
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:43,977
Yeah, and it was
nice reconnecting
241
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:46,480
with him and stuff, you know.
242
00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:48,983
It was a pretty
good day, you know.
243
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,950
It was the best day
of my life.
16260
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