All language subtitles for Dinner Time Live With David Chang s03e01

Welcome back, guys.

Season three, Dinner Time Live.

Can you believe it? We are back again.

And this season, we're going
to be cooking every episode

with a theme of sort of food memories.

And for today's guest,
I want to mess around with the idea

of sandwiches and nostalgia
of eating sandwiches growing up.

And we have Joe Manganiello,
who's been a repeat guest,

and we have Joel Kim Booster.

Both have been on very, very
successful Netflix programs as of late.

And here they are.
Very handsome gentlemen.

And I was inspired
by the sandwich that Eric Ripert,

the great chef, my friend
of Le Bernardin in New York City,

he grew up eating this croque monsieur,

which is a French
grilled cheese sandwich.

And he turned it

into this luxurious beauty
that has caviar and smoked salmon.

It's decadent.
And we'll start off with that.

Joe grew up eating a tuna fish sandwich.

In Pittsburgh, his dad was a big cook,

and I want to merge that with
the steak sandwich that I love so much

at a restaurant
called Shima in Tokyo.

And then Joel, he grew up in the Midwest,

and he ate a lot
of grilled cheese sandwiches.

So, I feel like you either
grow up eating a tuna fish sandwich

or a grilled cheese.

We're gonna put it all on American
white bread and have some fun,

do some twists on that.
Maybe there's dessert.

Maybe we'll see
something else that's going to happen.

Might be a little new feature
we're unveiling today, maybe.

-A little surprise.
-A little surprise.

Thanks, guys. Stay tuned.

Welcome back, guys.
I am your host, David Chang.

This is Dinner Time Live, season three.

That is Chris Ying, formerly known
as the "Voice of the Internet."

Now he is the tsar of voting.

You'll find out
about that in a little bit.

Here to serve people.

And we're joined with Joe and Joel.

-Thank you, guys. You've been on before.
-Thanks for having me back.

Really, really.

You were one of the fan favorites,
so really excited to have you guys.

I think it was
the Dennis Rodman sweatshirt.

Nice to be back. I brought a guest.

-I brought Bubbles Manganiello.
-Bubbles in the house!

I'm just doing
some prep work over here

on Bubbles' little treats,
because she's going to get mad.

Uh, I'm gonna--
can I give Bubbles a little smoked salmon?

I mean, she would love that.

-Okay.
-Huge day for Bubbles.

-Here we go.
-We've done so much stuff together.

I know, and you know,
I was supposed to be on last season,

but I had to get my wisdom teeth out.

Sure, sure you did, Joel.
Sure, sure, sure.

And I was still willing to come,
but your producers were like,

maybe you shouldn't risk
a dry socket for this.

Maybe you should turn 19 years old
before you come on.

"A dry socket's good TV, Joel,
I don't know."

But congratulations to you both, right?

-Thank you.
-On the Emmy nom, Nonnas, right?

Nonnas, man. Netflix.

Whoa, we're on Netflix!
Oh, my gosh.

And One Piece.

-And One Piece, Legendary.
-Sometime soon.

Sometime soon.

And you have the biggest thing
out there right now.

It's the craziest thing.

I'm a very small part
of KPop Demon Hunters.

DINNER TIME LIVE KITCHEN - ROW DTLA

I'm three different voices
in KPop Demon Hunters.

And it is the craziest thing.

I don't think any
of us knew that it was going to

blow up in the way that it does.
And it is now--

I've gotten texts from like,
people I went to high school with.

An--
Pretty much anyone with kids.

It's the one thing now--

It's the one family-friendly thing
I've ever done in my entire life.

It's nice. It's nice that my friends
with families can actually…

Don't be mad.

Uh, I have not let my children see it yet

because I'm trying
to hold back the floodgates

because everybody I know
is transfixed on it.

Well, you'll never not
hear those songs ever again

as soon as you introduce your kids to it.

Um, well…

We're here because season three,

I want this
to be about food memories, right?

Every episode, I want us to talk
about something that means something

to us to eat.

And since this is season three,
episode one,

I wanted to start off with something
that everyone can sort of relate to.

And maybe the first dish may not
be something you can relate to,

but I'll explain that in a second.

-Um… Sandwiches, right?
-Yeah.

-The world over has sandwiches.
-Uh-huh.

So, I wanted to make sure
that we sort of limited the scope.

It has to be on white bread,
Pullman loaf, something like this.

Okay.

And I didn't want to just

make sandwiches that--
We got some information, right?

Tuna fish, grilled cheese.

I wanted to sort of do a spin on it,
and I was thinking, how could we do this?

And I was inspired
by Eric Ripert,

Le Bernardin, three Michelin star,
one of the great chefs in the world.

What's up, Eric?

And he has this dish that he made,
and it's simple,

but it's decadent,
and it's a croque monsieur,

which is
a French grilled cheese.

His grandmother used to make it for him.

And he took this idea

and he put his spin on it
and all the things that he's learned.

And he makes
this really caviar smoked salmon.

It's almost like a little bit
of a grilled cheese,

a little bit of something else.

And I wanted to sort of take that idea
of not necessarily elevating it,

but adding that to tuna fish sandwich
and a grilled cheese and sort of

have some fun so we can talk
about it, have good times,

-good laughs, good eats.
-Done. Done.

-I'm gonna get started on making this.
-First, I have a gift for you.

As a return guest, I figured I wanted
to bring you something this time

in return for that incredible meal.

I hope you like these. I think you will.

Shout out to my buddy Jay at Bodega,
which is also in The Row.

-What's up?
-Come on down.

-What's up, Jay?
-My favorite store.

Oh, man. Korean. Chung!

I can read enough Korean.

Wow.

Dude. You see this?

-That is--
-Whoa.

-What in the world?
-Now, look at the tongues.

The left shoe has a different tongue
than the right.

That's the right tongue.
That's the Jumpman.

And the left tongue is…

-Check it out.
-Korean flag.

-Look at that. Look at that.
-Wow. That's sick.

-Sweet.
-Nice.

I also brought a gift, David, but it's…

-Hey, it's not here yet.
-Your gift is just you being here.

-Yeah.
-Hey, that's amazing.

First time, you don't need
to bring anything.

And I'm just so happy
that Joel feels inadequate already.

Already I'm sitting next to this man,
and now I have to--

With a five-pound chihuahua on his lap.

-Yeah, yeah, that balances things out.
-So--

Let me get started on the sandwich.

Bubbles is getting started
on her smoked salmon.

Uh, speaking of smoked salmon,

most people haven't seen it
in whatever form you've got here, Dave,

if you just buy salmon
for a bagel or something.

Yeah, this is lightly smoked.

I love the commercially bought stuff
anyway, but sometimes it can be,

Um, I wouldn't say too harsh,
but a lot of smoky flavor.

This is just gently smoked.

-Mh-hm.
-Um, I think that is good.

Add a little lemon confit.

Amazing.

I properly fasted before coming here.

-Yeah.
-So everything

that you're doing right now
is working for me.

You know, Joel, the producers here were
like, "You've got to get them

to talk about the chicken smoothie."
I was like, we're not talking about it.

-Yeah, no, I'm--
-Done. We're done.

I used to-- Back when I was four and--

We don't have to talk about it.

I would blend chicken

in the blender, um,
and drink it like a smoothie.

-Okay, but-- Okay.
-Okay.

But here's the thing,
as somebody like True Blood,

Magic Mike, for years, it was just
about protein every 90-minutes.

I was training the way
like a professional athlete would train.

Like, I knew where all the Koo Koo Roos
around the city.

I knew where
all the good protein places were.

Like, I go into a meeting, I know
I have to get out, I gotta go eat there.

So like, that totally sounds
like something I would do.

-Just to get--
-Thank you. Thank you.

I'll sit there with the chicken.

No, that's the thing.
I couldn't eat more chicken.

-I get it.
-That's the thing. I had to drink it.

There was no other choice.

But now I'm in a relationship,
and I do not care anymore.

-Really? That's it? You're out?
-Yeah, no. I'm like,

I'll eat whatever. It's takeout
on the couch every day. That's it.

Uh, chicken in a blender, I'm sure,
there's probably a lot of, like…

-body builders--
-Oh, yeah, no,

-it's an old-school bodybuilding thing.
-Really?

-Or are you guys just making that up?
-No, no, no, it's for real.

I don't know if,
like, Arnold was doing it, but…

Well, it's kind of like in Rocky
when he wakes up in the morning

and just starts cracking eggs
into a glass.

-Slightly more edible, I think, but, yeah.
-Yeah. This looks…

-That's a hell of a lot of caviar.
-I know.

It's, you know,
you guys are special guests.

-Thank you so much.
-Uncle Ted said, "Listen,

let's open up the caviar budget
for you guys."

Thanks, Uncle Ted.

-This is for Nonnas.
-Doing so well.

If I respected you a little bit less,

I was gonna smoke a joint
before I came here, um,

but I respect you too much,

and the audience at home
to do that to you.

Who's to say
we can't take a commercial break?

I was gonna say,
what Netflix lacks in residual money,

it makes up for in caviar.

You come on the cooking show
and you get your residuals in caviar.

Just a giant dollop.

All right, we're gonna--
Get some mayonnaise on there.

No mayonnaise.

-What is-- What are you--
-It's just butter, right?

Just butter, straight butter.

We're going to talk
about mayonnaise in a second,

but, you know, I think it's one of the--
What?

Hear ye! Hear ye!

'Tis I, the fourth Earl of Sandwich,

and the first Duke
of Audience Participation.

No doubt you remember me
as the namesake of the sandwich,

but now they've trotted my old
weary bones out here to regale you

with the details of a new innovation,
real-time voting.

Tonight, David is elevating two sandwiches
you all remember from your youth,

the noble tuna fish
and the ooey-gooey grilled cheese.

But before he does,
we want to hear your opinion

of these two
nostalgic tastes of childhood.

In just a moment,
you shall have the chance

to rank them from one to five stars.
I can feel Joel looking at me.

One star meaning nay,
and five stars meaning wondrous.

First, how doth thou rate
a classic tuna fish sandwich

like the one young Joe
recalls so fondly from his childhood?

Your window to vote
on this opens right now.

Use thine remote
if you're watching on your TV,

or tap directly on your phone screen
if you're streaming

on a phone or tablet.

I've already logged my vote.

In a moment,
our two guests will register theirs.

Viewers, your collective voice
is the fourth vote, lo,

be sure to keep an eye on that timer bar
at the bottom of your screen.

Once the timer's up for tuna,
you shall have the chance to vote

on option two, which is how you rate
a standard grilled cheese sandwich.

Kind sirs, Joe and Joel,

what are thine thoughts on the matter
of classic tuna versus grilled cheese?

-I'm really not gonna recover
-No, right?

-from this.
-No, right?

Guys, this is how thirsty he is
to be a SAG member.

But I love this, like, iambic pentameter.

-Grilled!
-And grilled cheese!

On the nine-syllable line,
you must go grilled.

I feel like
I'm watching Hamilton right now.

-I love the Asian Earl of Sandwich.
-It's like a very poor--

Where do we rate
this mid-Atlantic dialect?

That's what I wanna know.

So we're seeing, like, a Netflix algorithm
seeing this curve where it peaks

with people watching
with Nonnas and "KPop

Demon Slayers", and now
we have iambic pentameter.

…whole costume budget will be for nothing

if you guys don't register your votes.

Without speaking so funny,

we wanna just explain exactly quickly
what the hell's happening.

For the first time on Dinnertime Live,

we are asking people at home
to participate, to weigh in.

I'm voting, our guests are voting.

The audience at home
is voting on the topics

pertaining to Dave's theme
of the art of the sandwich.

I'm gonna reveal the results
later in the show.

-The only real democracy in America.
-The only one left.

-Dinner Time Live with David Chang.
-Yeah.

Um, you know, one of the things
with sandwiches in general is

I feel like you have to eat it
with something else, right?

And when you go to Le Bernardin,

you might get this croque monsieur,
but it's served with sometimes a salad,

or some type of other beautiful,
fancy garnish.

I want to do something
that was still fancy elevated

because I think you have to have
chips with a sandwich.

-That's just me.
-Yes. Chips on the sandwich?

Or salad too. You can do either or.

When you say chips, you mean,
like, American chips, not crisps.

-This is actually French.
-French.

Because it's a pomme souffle.

-Have you guys had a pomme souffle?
-Never heard of it.

So, this is the bane of many cooks

when they have this on their station
in a professional restaurant.

And what you see here
is a thinly sliced potato,

but you have to slice it right,
cook it two times,

and let the steam puff it out.

And they're like potato pillows,
and I wanna serve that with this sandwich.

You know what it reminds me of?

It reminds me
of José Andrés at The Bazaar.

He would make those steak and cheese…

where it was puffed up,
like it was like a football, almost.

You know what I'm talking about?

Like a little puffy gougere or something.

-Yeah exactly.
-Speaking of cheese, Joel,

I need to know what you think about--

how you rate grilled cheese
and tuna fish here.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

I did tuna,
but I didn't do grilled cheese.

Wait, so the audience can vote right now.

The audience is voting as we speak.

-Vote along.
-There we go.

Okay.

You know, I thought one reason
I also wanted to do the sandwich,

to be totally honest, was,
it's going to be easy to make.

There's nothing easy about doing it.

Uh, there's a reason
why it's a three Michelin star restaurant.

It's all about keeping things simple,
perfect knife cuts, everything, and…

I hope Eric is not looking at this
and being like, "What are you doing?"

Well, weirdly enough,

like, even just slicing the bread
is not easy to do, right? Like…

And, yeah, I already miss…

You know what?

-Start over.
-It looks beautiful.

It looks really good.

You just blame it on me.
I'm a Pittsburgh guy.

We put everything in a sandwich.

French fries.

We made a lot of French fries
in that sandwich you ate last time.

Sure did, yeah. Exactly.

Wow, look at this. This looks amazing.

I'm gonna cut it again.

You cut the crusts off, I noticed.

Yeah, I was gonna ask too.

What is your-- obviously triangles,
not down the middle?

I am just trying to be respectful
of how it's served at a restaurant

without bastardizing it too much.

So, this is sort of how Eric does it.

Joel, if you're making
a sandwich for yourself,

-are you going diagonal or are you going…
-I'm not even cutting the sandwich.

Let's be honest.

No cuts for Dave.

I mean-- diagonal for sure.
I'm a classis-- classic.

You know, like, it's easier to eat.

You don't have to… I don't know.

It's-- Down the middle
makes no sense to me, quite frankly.

Unless it's like a sub
or something already long.

But if it's a square sandwich,
it's gotta be…

We're gonna do
only diagonals today for Joel.

-Yeah, here you go.
-I prefer--

And I don't want these to overshadow
this beautiful sandwich, but…

-Those look awesome.
-They really do.

These are really good.

But I don't know if you talked…

Oh, my God, dude,
I wanna, like, lick that…

-I know.
-…cutting board.

No. No, no, no.

I thought about it!

-All right.
-A little bit of salt. Ugh.

But, Dave, you were talking
about this sandwich

as, like, a nostalgic thing
that he sort of changed around.

It makes sense though, right?
Ham, instead of ham, it's smoky salmon…

-same spirit.
-Hell, yeah.

-Oh, my god.
-Same spirit.

So, we take this idea that we all have--
we grow up eating something,

whether it was your grandmother
or your uncle,

and you're eating something.

And sometimes that nostalgia
is just nostalgia.

It doesn't mean
it's actually good, you know?

-But this one is pretty good.
-Man.

-The cheese is…
-What kind of cheese?

-Gruyère.
-Gruyère.

-I mean…
-Oh, my God, dude.

…this is…

I mean, what is that?

You put a bunch of caviar
in between two pieces of bread,

it tastes dope.

But also that butter
crisping the bread mixes

with the caviar perfectly.

Like, it's just… …the butteriness.

Did you cut the bread
in thinner slices too?

-I did for this one. Um…
-Yeah.

And I wish I-- I… You know what?

I did. I invented this sandwich.

My grandmother was French

and she served me croque monsieur as well.

-So, this is where we're at.
-Eric who?

Eric who? Um…

-Dude, I could eat like 100 of these.
-Same.

-My God.
-Same.

-Um, my fiancé’s watching at home…
-I'm gonna get start--

…and I kind of told him
that I was gonna bring food home,

but I'm sorry, baby.

I don't know how much of it's making it--

making it home.

These are awesome.

-Well…
-They're chewy.

-Mm-hmm.
-Like, chewy and crunchy.

I know, and they actually…
'Cause it came right out of the fryer,

they're gonna get
a little bit more crunchy

as they dry out a little bit, so…

I mean, they're not gonna last long.
I'll say that.

-Mm-mm.
-This-- This is…

It-- It's like a potato chip

-is what it feel--
-I--

-Like a fresh, chewy, like, homemade…
-I mean…

-Mission accomplished.
-…potato chip.

You know what I mean?
When you have, like… Oh, man.

It's what we do here.

We make dreams come true
with potato-y pillows.

Dave's about to get
into the nostalgic portion

of today's show,
and I think as a good setup,

I have the results
of our first ever Star Vote.

I will now reveal whether our viewers
are Team Tuna or Team Cheese.

I think we know how this is going to go.

The classic tuna fish received three
and three-quarters star votes.

Grilled cheese, on the other hand,

also received three
and three-quarters star votes.

Who's rating a grilled cheese
under four or five stars?

-It's like--
-It's wild, I know, but if we get

-into the decimal points…
-It's democracy.

This isn't the first time I've been
shocked by election results.

…grilled cheese won by a hair.

-Mmm.
-It was a hanging chat, I know.

So, while you guys are eating that,

let me just talk
about the next thing I just dropped.

-This is insane, man.
-Um…

So, we asked for some information.

I mean, we know a lot about you,
Pittsburgh,

but we also didn't realize your dad
was such an avid cook,

and he would make you
these tuna fish sandwiches.

And while this is not a sandwich,

this is something that you
commonly would put in a sandwich.

I didn't want to give you too much bread.

But to me,
I thought, this is exactly the thing

that we want to talk about right now,
where-- nostalgia, right?

And maybe it's time to think
about exactly what we're eating.

Because…

I mean, listen, I think we've all eaten
our fair share of tuna.

-But it shouldn't…
-Yum.

I just don't think it should be
in spring water.

-That's just my opinion.
-Yeah. Agreed.

I feel like I haven't met anybody
that thinks that that

in and of itself is delicious.

-Even you, with…
-Yeah.

Even you, Joel.

Even me with my messed up taste buds.

You wouldn't-- You aren't
making that into a smoothie.

-No, no, no.
-No.

It can only be made delicious
if you're adding fat.

And I think this is albacore tuna
and there's several varieties

of tuna in this world,
but really we only eat bluefin,

yellowfin, bigeye.

-There's white tuna. Skipjack.
-Albacore and skipjack.

But America basically
is the king of eating albacore.

And I think it's amazing because it's…

Amazing doesn't mean it's delicious.

Amazing is it fed a lot of people
post-World War II.

I mean, what else?

Basically, nobody in America ate tuna
until they started canning it.

-Just not a food we ate.
-No.

And then it became basically
a protein staple in the country.

So, that is amazing.
It's fed a ton of people.

I think it's super nostalgic.

This version, Joe, was your dad's recipe.

So, my dad's from Boston.

And, um, you know, it's like, my mother
did most of the cooking growing up.

But, like, on weekends,
you know, Dad was around.

-Dad would make tuna sandwiches.
-Mm-hmm.

But he'd, um, you know, mustard,
he'd have like a powdered mustard,

and then he'd have like a--
like a-- like a hot sauce in it.

Carrots, celery get chopped up into it.

-This-- This is like…
-It's dope.

-That's what it is.
-This is it.

And he'd serve it on,
like, a French baguette,

you know, like, warm, crispy.

It was awesome.

So, you, like, you loved
those Saturday afternoons where--

where Dad would make the sandwich.

-It's a classic Dad meal. Yeah.
-This is, like, awesome.

But I feel like if it's--

The one reason why I feel like tuna fish,
while it is beloved,

it equally seems to be loathed
by a lot of people, too.

And if it's not because of the,
sort of, the parents,

I think it's because you can only make it
taste delicious with mayonnaise,

and I think mayonnaise is a…

-It's a…
-It's a…

-People have a lot of feelings.
-Divisive. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I didn't like mayonnaise
until I was an adult.

I hated it growing up. I hated it.

-You don't love mayonnaise, right?
-I wasn't a mayonnaise guy either.

No, no, no.

Uh, I have to point out that Joel
has created a little…

-I mean, if you're not…
-…tuna spring roll over here.

…filling your potato pillows
full of the tuna salad,

what are you even doing?

He's filling the potato--
the pommes souffle with tuna salad.

Um. Did you ever put tuna in a blender?

That's a step too far even for me.

-So, albacore…
-I wanted it to be hot,

I didn't need it to be that hot.

Albacore, skipjack are like the commodity,

widely available tunas.
That's why we get them in the can.

That's not what you're doing here.

No, and listen, I want to make it--
for the record. Like, I grew up eating--

I think it's great,

but maybe we should start
to not pack it in water, spring water.

Maybe just pack it in ocean water.

Spring water doesn't make any sense to me.
Let's start packing in olive oil.

The rest of the world seems
to pack it in olive oil.

It's delicious.

How worried do we have
to be about mercury today?

-It's a good question.
-Yeah.

Have you met anybody
that's gotten mercury poisoning

'cause they eat sushi
or tuna so much?

No, no.

One can hope.

So, um, while this is…

something I just sliced for you guys,
that was a chunk of chutoro.

This is the medium fattiness belly
of a bluefin tuna.

-Wow.
-Usually you don't see this served--

I mean, yes, you do serve, uh, tataki,
but I've never seen it in a sandwich.

Um…

…and because it has
the right amount of fat content,

I feel like this reminds me
of the sandwich that I love so much

in Japan, and it's by this restaurant,
and the chef's name is Shima.

And we featured it a little bit
in Ugly Delicious, Season One or Two.

And he takes all of this
sort of proprietary wagyu

from his family's farm
and he puts it-- It's all leftover.

And you should not go to this restaurant
without ordering everything else.

Please don't just get the sandwich.

But they make these beautiful giant
sort of white loaf bread sandwiches

with this tomato compote
and stacks of this beef.

-Wow.
-And it's just one of the most

delicious things.

And what I love about it too is,
I have a lot of thoughts on sandwiches.

I love a lot of different kinds
of sandwiches, but I don't,

for the most part, I don't want
to have salad in my sandwich.

-I think salads are great on the side…
-Uh-huh.

-Right.
-…on the side, even hamburgers.

Unless it's a cooked vegetable,
I want it on the side.

And that's what I want
to try to do for you guys right now,

make a Shima-inspired,
sort of steak sandwich.

Dope.

I mean, let's do it.

-All right. And this is in Japan? Okay.
-This is in Tokyo, yes.

I'm going to Tokyo
for the first time next year.

-Uh-oh.
-You know?

Well, like Dave said, he personally
almost ruined this restaurant

by popularizing this sandwich
when we had it.

-Oh, no.
-He hates you.

And then sending hordes of tourists
chasing the sandwich.

Yeah, I really-- I really messed it up.

Got to go have the meal,
and then traditionally,

the chef would serve this
with your leftover,

whatever steak you had left,
you'd make into a sandwich

or pack it up to go, which is awesome.

-Got it. Okay.
-All right.

And so these are--
They're still a little pink, I assume?

Yeah. Yeah,
it's definitely going to be pink.

I might have overcooked it.
I don't think so.

But I want to serve this
with something that honestly

is gonna be delicious
if it was served in the sandwich.

And this is a salad I make
at home all the time, and I like it

because it's fresh,
it's delicious, it's simple.

I used to make it when I worked
for Jean-Georges back in the day.

And what I love most
about it is you can serve it all

in one bowl with the salad dressing,

and the dressing is just
lemon juice and olive oil.

The one thing is, is you sort
of have to use this scary machine,

and I'm gonna move extra careful.

I don't know if you guys have used
this mandoline before.

I have-- You can actually see
the chunk of thumb that's missing

-from using a mandoline.
-There you go now. Now you know.

-Yeah.
-What were you slicing, Joel?

Probably-- I think it was a carrot.

And just like, it's the worst kind of cut.

It's the worst cut in the world.

-Can you see that little…
-Cannot stop bleeding.

-Oh, yeah, man.
-Good little chunk.

I'm really terrified
of these things always.

So I've sliced some fennel,
arugula is at the bottom,

and some button mushrooms.

Button mushrooms are one
of my favorite mushrooms

when they're sliced thin.

And this is something that maybe
people may not realize.

When you have a thin bit of it,
it's actually very--

it like perfumes in the back of your mouth
and you get a lot of flavor.

Yeah.

-The humble button. Underrated.
-Who knew?

Right? It's just a lot--

It's almost like an everlasting gobstopper
to me sometimes.

Wow.

I think you're overselling
the button mushroom a little bit, but…

-It's good but…
-It's a mushroom.

-…it ain't candy.
-He's like, it ain't no caviar

and potato chips.

And I'm going to shave
some Parmesan in here.

-I love fennel too, man.
-Yeah. I love the taste of fennel.

I feel like fennel is…

an acquired taste.

-Mmm.
-'Cause it has that anise licorice flavor,

but the older I get, the more I love it.

It's really good
for your stomach too, right?

-Is it?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm pretty sure

-it's like, I used to, it's like good for…
-You know what it is now?

Yeah. Don't look it up.

-You saw it on TV.
-Don't ask anybody else.

You like tarragon?

-Love tarragon.
-Love tarragon.

That's another one that's strong
in that kind of family.

Joe, is this close
to dad's version of tuna fish?

-Yeah, it's like right in there.
-Is this done with?

Thanks.

It's great.
No, it's like completely taking me back.

That's like…

-So wild.
-…right in there, yeah. Right in--

So what are we putting
on the sandwich right now?

This is-- We dehydrated
some tomatoes from the market

and we cooked it down
with shallots, garlic,

and put a little mustard seed in there
with some Sherry vinegar, a little sugar.

And again,

this is all based on the true story
of what happens at Shima,

and I've eaten there many times,
but I've never gotten the exact recipe,

so I'm assuming this is sort of similar.

And every time I have it,
because of whatever this is,

it makes me think I'm eating a Big Mac,

like the most delicious Big Mac
of all time.

So, I-- I'm hoping that…

I've actually never tasted this myself

with tuna,
so let's just hope it works out.

Mmm.

Oh, my goodness.

Hmm. But it's almost like, um…

I've had a version
with, like, jamón ibérico.

-Right.
-You know?

-And if it's anything like that…
-Jeez.

…it's going to be unbelievable.

-That is huge.
-That is a lot of tuna.

That is a tremendous amount of tuna.

-I mean, you guys want to try that?
-Yeah, please.

-Yeah, give it to us.
-Bubbles.

Oh, yeah, Bubbles. You want some?
Okay, here.

There you go. Try that.

-Pretty good, right?
-Oh, God. Yeah.

-Oh, man.
-This is a lot bigger than I…

I thought it was gonna be.

I'm wondering, should I cut off the sides?
What do you guys think?

-What-- No?
-I'm good. Not on this one. Mm-mm.

-Let's ask America.
-Yeah, vote.

-Now's your chance to vote.
-Oh, my goodness.

I let it over-- It's a little overcooked.

So we-- we talked before about,
you know, trying to keep this thing PG-13.

I know.

-I was just thinking that.
-Like, how many…

-F-bombs can we drop?
-You get unlimited…

You get unlimited shits,
but you only get one F?

Well, listen, the first few episodes,
we were trying really hard

to get the lowest rated thing
so children could watch it.

-Oh, sure. Joe Pesci was on.
-And we were…

We blew past the shit
and F-bomb quota with him.

We spent all of our
unlimited shits and our F-bombs.

I promised I was gonna be so good,

but I've had so many moments
where I put something in my mouth

and just wanted to go like… You know?

-It's okay.
-That doesn't count.

No, I, literally.

-We're still under.
-I didn't even-- My lips did not,

none of it formed.

Oh, my goodness.

Now, when you did that,
does the closed captioning…

-That's what--
-…come up or not?

I actually cannot wait to find out.

-I can't imagine.
-What does happen?

-Again, I didn't finish.
-What happens when we say an F-bomb?

Let's just keep doing it
and then we'll find out soon enough.

When you mouth it, there's no problem.

Salad, you guys have some tongs over here.

Okay.

And I will plate this.

I gotta be honest,

if I was a professional cook
watching at home,

I'd be like,
"That idiot, he overcooked it!"

And I knew it. This is the part--

I think you've got two idiots
in front of you who don't really know.

I mean, it's still gonna be good,
but I definitely, it should be…

really red, so privately, this is exactly
the way I wanted to cook it.

-Perfect cuisson.
-No--

Perfect cuisson on there, yeah.

-Oh, my.
-Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, yeah! There we go, perfect.

How am I supposed to get this in my mouth?

Carefully. Very careful, Joel.

Okay?

Oh, wow.

I mean, I think maybe I put
a little too much tuna in there.

Maybe sliced the bread…

…a little too thick.

Too much tuna.

Shout out Kroll and Mulaney, but…

-God.
-But this relish, this tomato relish…

Does it have
that little McDonald's taste to me?

-I don't know why, but it does to me.
-Oh, yeah.

-A little sweet, a little pickly.
-I think it's the mustard.

Yep.

And it brings like the sweetness
in the bread a little bit.

So good, yeah.

Dave, do you believe in a sandwich
that is too big to fit in your mouth?

Are you anti-gigantic sandwiches?

I never had a problem. Somehow.

-Let us know when that happens.
-If it's too big, I still eat it somehow,

so I unhinge my jaw like a boa constrictor
and it just goes down.

All right, friends.
It's time for another Real Time Star Vote.

This round, a question as old
as time and as silly as a schoolboy.

Soup or salad? Is this even a choice?

On the one hand,
a comforting cup of warm soup,

maybe a bisque or a chowder,
minestrone, a cream of whatever.

Let us know how you rate soup
as a side dish

on a scale from one to five stars.

So context-dependent though, right?
Like, what is it a side to?

-Right.
-A side of a sandwich.

-Okay. What kind of sandwich?
-On the side of your sandwich.

You know, it's just, it's so…

Let's call it a grilled cheese
and tomato soup.

Okay. Then I know my answer for sure.

Once the window is closed on soup,

you'll be asked how you rate a pile
of cold raw leaves as a side dish.

As always, our nerds
will tabulate your votes

and let us know whether you all
are on team soup or you hate happiness.

Joel and Joe, clearly I have a stance
on this matter.

Do you guys, if you're at a diner,

let's say you order a sandwich
and they say, "Soup or salad?"

Lightly campaigning over there.

-Just a little-- a little bit.
-Yeah, leading the witness a little bit.

You know the thing I love about a sandwich
with white bread too is the squish.

You know, like being able to really like--
especially for a sandwich of this size.

Well, you should know
that that was bread that…

We gotta get special bread,
so this is Japanese milk bread,

Pullman loaf white bread,

so it has a little bit
of a denser texture, but we made this

with all kinds of bread,
and they're all gonna be good.

So if you're watching at home,
you wanna make these recipes,

you can do it with the white bread
from your grocery store,

it'll still work out.

Might be a little bit messier,
but you should be fine.

-Wow.
-But I wanted to get started on the soup,

and if it seems
like I'm just throwing a bunch

of stuff together
with shelf-stable ingredients,

I think that is actually
the origin of cream of tomato.

Cream of tomato with grilled cheese
is a pairing that literally came about,

like, during food shortages, World War II.
You need shelf-stable food,

hence American processed cheese,
shelf-stable bread,

-and then--
-Canned tuna.

Canned tuna, cream of,
like, canned tomatoes.

You make this soup and then
the pairing has just stuck forever.

Dave, you're like re-examining
these nostalgic things.

Do you think the pairing makes sense?

I don't know why,
but it makes total sense.

When I have a grilled cheese,
of course I'll eat a grilled cheese with,

like, nothing, you know, but…

it almost feels like it has
to be dipped in something.

-Mm-hmm.
-And that's why--

I don't know why it makes sense, but yeah,

of course I'll eat a grilled cheese
or any sandwich solo, but you know.

If I have to, like,
raw-dog the sandwich, I'll do it.

It's interesting.
It's almost ironic that, like,

grilled cheese is one
of the sandwiches I think you could--

that's, like, better,
like, you can get away

with eating without a soup
because it's gooey and it's, like,

you know, it's not dry by any means.

And that's, like, when I go
to a place and I get a soup

and a sandwich,
oftentimes it's because I need the soup

because it's, like,
some kind of like club sandwich

or something that's, like,
a little dry, you know?

And so the soup is… is paramount.

But this, it's like a nice…
it's nice in addition, but--

You're putting it in the microwave.

Joel, you were describing soup
as the sandwich lube,

is what you were telling us.

The reason I put it in the microwave is,
again, besides I love Chef Mike,

the microwave,
I find that if you're making quesadillas

or grilled cheese,

especially since I do make it
for my kids all the time,

there's a little bit of like a…
like a science issue,

because by the time you get
the bread toasted and golden brown,

the cheese might still be un-melted.

So I just toast it real quickly in there,
and you know, there you go.

Get it moving.

Oh, man, so good.

Keen eyes will note
the giant plastic bottle

of very nice vodka you have
in front of you there, Dave.

-What's happening there?
-I love that brand, I love that brand.

-Big Bottle. Big Bottle vodka.
-Not a bottle, there's a handle.

You know it's good when it comes
in a big plastic jug.

I'm now…

trying to get this cooking.

Is there any, like, substantial difference

between directly putting
the butter on the bread

versus what you just did,
dumping a bunch of butter in the pan?

No, I should definitely put it
on the bread, but I looked,

I'm running out of time a little bit,
and I'm like, "Fuck."

"Shit, fuck."

So this is the secret ingredient
to this mac and cheese,

the mac and cheese addition
to the grilled cheese.

-Shut up.
-Because…

-That color, that natural cheese color.
-Yeah.

You know, one of the things I love
about a grilled cheese,

or just sort of maybe tacos in general,

like if I go to, say, like,
Tacos 1986 or something,

you can get these griddled,
or Cassell's here in L.A.,

you can get these cheese wings.

And again, taking this idea
of this nostalgic thing

and merging it with other ideas,
when I have something crispy,

the thing I love the most

about crispy is when I have jiaozi
or potstickers.

I mean, you're gonna know how to pronounce
all this better than I do.

But you put a cornstarch slurry
as it's cooking

and you get
this perfect lattice crispiness.

And I don't know what we were doing,

but we had the great idea
of merging these things together

with mac and cheese
to make you a cheese wing.

And I hope that it comes to fruition.

Have you guys ever
had this thing he's talking about,

you go, you order gyoza
or potstickers and it has kind of like,

a thin crust around it,
like a big, huge lattice work?

-No.
-Pretend that you have.

I've been going to the wrong restaurant.

It doesn't make any sense.

Like, the starch
comes off of the dumplings,

and then it forms, like, a crispy,

almost like blanket on it.
So, this is his inspiration.

Is it like when you go
to a Hiroshima-style restaurant,

like there's that kind of
crispy barbecue-y kind of?

-Only on like the dumplings specifically.
-I know what you're talking about.

So, it's called a binghua,
which is a snowflake.

-Okay.
-Do it proper.

I scare…

Scares the hell out of me
when you say it.

-Binghua!
-That's it.

So, as you can see here,

I'm doing something
that you might do all the time.

You might mix some vodka
with some mac-and-cheese cheese powder,

some corn starch, and make a slurry.

This is what the insides
of my stomach look like

on Saturday night.

That's real vodka.

And… you know,
don't try this at home, please.

I gotta tell you,
I'm interested, I'm a little dubious,

but I can't wait. I trust you implicitly.

Whoa!

-That hit that light.
-You're burning off.

I felt that. Did you feel that?

-Yeah.
-A little bit.

You felt it?

Oh, man.

Oh, goodness.

-Some Benihana… happening?
-A little bit.

Well, this is happening.

It is time to see where our audience
stands on soup versus salad.

-All right.
-Please.

Our viewers have spoken.

A hearty cup of cockle-warming soup
on the side of your sandwich

earned four-and-a-half-star votes.

-In the other corner, you gave a--
-I think they're making sense.

You gave a pile of dead plant matter,
also known as a side salad,

two-and-a-quarter-star votes.

-That means--
-That feels unjust.

That means--
Take it up with the courts, Joel.

That means soup wins.
Logic prevails. Did you go salad?

No, I went… I still…
Obviously, soup is the superior side,

but I do think a good salad is like…

I mean, what Dave just made
for us is great.

It is true. I should not be
insulting the thing

-that Dave literally made right there.
-Thanks a lot, Chris.

Usually when you go with the sandwich,

the salad that comes on the side is not…

It's not that, like, orchard salad
or with the pecans.

Or usually when you have a show,
you don't trash the host's food.

I'm saying this is good.
I'm saying usually at a restaurant,

you're just gonna get a couple of leaves.

Yeah, and it's like some
strands of carrot, an old tomato.

-Yesterday…
-Also the soup and, like,

when you're getting like a cup of soup,

you can get like the clam chowder,
like the good stuff.

In the soup, is this just tomato sauce
that you put in it?

I did. I put our good buddy
Chris Bianco's DiNapoli Tomatoes,

a little tomato paste, chicken bouillon…
cream, milk, and that's it.

-Nice.
-That is it.

-Somehow… I forgot.
-I think I'm gonna eat more.

I mean, it's crazy,

because your fancy tuna
is really, really good, no doubt about it.

But there is something so, like,

kind of addictive
about your dad's recipe of tuna salad.

Literally.

No, it was like, you live that.
Remember Steak-umms?

-Of course.
-Yeah, it was Steak-umms,

or you got the tuna fish
on the French bread.

Well, I just want to be honest, Joel,
I sort of hate his dad right now.

Yeah, this is my first
and only appearance on…

-Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot, Joe.
-For real, they're like…

You can take that tuna salad away.

-All right.
-Moment of truth.

Moment of truth.

Cheese wing.

Wow.

-Very nice.
-Wow.

Look at that thing.

That's crazy, man.

That looks incredible.

I can't believe
that's what you mixed up just now.

There you go.

-Wow, my goodness.
-Okay.

-Yes.
-Cheese wing it is.

Are we dipping this?

-You can eat it however you want.
-However?

As a repeat guest,

-you make the rules.
-Okay.

You're gonna yell at me
for my table manners.

So, we, again,
want to take the grilled cheese,

accentuate some of the things
that I love about sort of cheesy things

with the crispy elements
and merge it with, you know, this…

The first time I ever had it
was at a restaurant called Asian Legend

in Toronto, and I was like,
"What is this? This is not dumplings."

It is dumplings,
but it's got this crispy layer.

So, we added vodka, which seems crazy,

but if we added water,

it would take too long to evaporate,
especially on a live show.

So, we needed liquid to sort of
melt it all together, mix it all together,

and it evaporates more quickly.

And cornstarch is how
you make the slurry

-and make it crispy, and there you go.
-This is so good.

And, like, is American cheese
the best for grilled cheese?

Listen, I think this is what
the vote should be.

Like, I think it's the king of cheeses,
Parmesan's number two.

Like, people are so embarrassed, I think,
in America about American cheese.

I think it's amazing.
It's basically just cheddar cheese

with sodium citrate and some other things.

It's a miracle. It's a magical thing.

All right, I'm being told
it's the last chance of the night

for our viewers to weigh in.
This time I have a multiple-choice poll.

Everybody here, Joel, Joe, and Dave,

hails from a different part
of the country,

but which one of these guys
can claim the best sandwiches?

Is it Pittsburgh
and Joe's beloved Primanti Bros.,

Joel's neck-of-the-woods Chicago
with their Italian beefs,

New York, where David started Momofuku
and the streets are paved in pastrami?

Or is it the wildcard city
of Indianapolis,

home of… …Dave's
sandwich nemesis, Pat McAfee?

I love Pat.

Once again, use your remotes
or tap directly on your screen

to express yourselves

and to stand up
for one of these great American cities,

all equally famous for their sandwiches.

While everyone is voting at home,
Joe and Joel,

what do you guys think
is the great American sandwich city?

Pat's a Pittsburgh guy also,

so all you have to do
is listen to him talk for five seconds.

I know, he totally lit me up
a couple months ago.

Pat McAfee took Dave to school
for omitting Pittsburgh.

It's hard when you're a fan of somebody
and they just destroy you, but whatever.

I was just this year on tour,
and I had a stop in Pittsburgh,

ate a lot of sandwiches.

I don't think from the place
that you guys were talking about,

but I am not an Italian beef guy.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
-I know, I know, it's sacrilege.

If I'm in Chicago, and we talked
about this before the show,

but the only regional food war
I'm interested in is,

"Chicago has the best hot dogs."

Oh, really? What do you know?

-Okay.
-And literally unscripted.

This is all unscripted, but I was like,
you know what? We should have a nice--

This is what live TV is,
to get you guys to battle over a hot dog.

And I was like, you know what?
You guys both have opinions on hot dogs.

We're not talking about hot dog
as a sandwich.

Yeah, cause it's not.

But, you know,
a Chicago dog is very different

and has a point of view unlike any other
in America.

-I think it's delicious.
-Love it.

But you guys can go at it
and two men enter, one man leaves.

Dude, Thunderdome. No. I…

Okay, so you're on tour in Pittsburgh.
You ate a lot of sandwiches,

but you're not sure if you had
a Primanti Bros. sandwich.

-I don't know if I did.
-I will ask you one simple question.

-Were there French fries on it?
-Yeah.

I thought that was just, like,
a general, like, Pittsburgh thing.

Primanti Bros. Generally Primanti Bros.

So, yeah, they have the big steak fries,
and they put them on top.

Coleslaw. Sour coleslaw.

Like, not the creamy, but the sour.
Yeah, that's Primanti Bros.

-Did you have it with the hot sauce?
-Oh, man, yes, of course.

The red dough. Look at this guy!

-All right!
-It was literally everybody…

that when I said I was going on tour in--
I had a stop in Pittsburgh,

-that's where they told me.
-And they knew? Okay, yeah.

That's it. Okay.

I don't want to break up
this brotherly love, but Joe,

how do you feel
about the Chicago hot dog?

Love a Chicago hot dog.

Any time I'm in Chicago,
love the Chicago hot dog.

But I will say that whenever
I'm at a Steeler game or a Pirates game

in Pittsburgh, I have all my friends
from Chicago on, like, a thread,

and I'll send them pictures
of hot dogs bathed in Heinz ketchup.

Yeah, get that shit out of here.

Like, I send it to them, and you just see,
like, the thread pop off.

-They get so angry about it all.
-That's what I don't understand.

People in Chicago are just so allergic
to the idea of a hot dog with ketchup.

I think you can
put a Chicago dog with ketchup.

I'm pro-ketchup in general.

Not in everything.

I mean, it doesn't say it on the bottle,
but you know what that is. That's Heinz.

That's Heinz, baby.
You can call it Akershire,

but it's still going to be Heinz.

We searched everywhere
for an unbranded tomato ketchup.

Do not bring up Heinz in this way.

I'm going to say something, though.
The last time I was on the show,

I wore a Dennis Rodman vintage--
Chicago guy.

I wore a Dennis Rodman vintage
Bad As I Wanna Be sweatshirt.

And then on social media,
they blurred it out.

-This is kind of like…
-Very disrespectful to Dennis Rodman.

This is your revenge right here.

Everything's blurred every time
I'm on this show.

Anyway, that's Heinz. It's Heinz, baby.

Okay, well, the people have spoken.
I have the results here

in this envelope, and the city

with the best sandwiches in America,
according to our viewers…

New York City.

-New York City.
-What a surprise.

What a surprise, it wasn't Indianapolis.

Was hoping for Indianapolis…

-No.
-Really was.

So, I'm off the fatwa list or Pat McAfee?

I don't think enough people have been
to Pittsburgh is the problem.

-That's right.
-That's the problem.

Everybody's been to New York.
Everybody's been to Chicago.

A lot of people have escaped Indianapolis,

but not a lot of people have gone
to Pittsburgh enough.

It's true. And hot take, the pizza
in Pittsburgh is better than here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

-I see the pull quote right now.
-Come find me. Come find me.

-Come find me. That's it.
-Pittsburgh pizza.

People don't know,
and we like it that way. It's the best.

You know what?
He's got diplomatic immunity. He's…

He's Joe, he can do whatever he wants.

I appreciate that you're riding
for Pittsburgh, though,

because I have to say,
when I had my shows in Pittsburgh,

this woman came up to me after one
of my shows, shaking, so excited.

It was like, I appreciate people
who are excited to see me.

And her first words after the show were,
"Why would you ever come here?"

I was like,
you gotta have a little bit more--

you gotta ride
for your city a little harder.

I've got a billion reasons for you.

Why would you ever come to Pittsburgh?

I was actually like, Joel-- I mean…
Why would you come here?

Why would I add Pittsburgh
as a stop on my tour?

-Wild.
-Of course.

-But--
-Who is this lady?

-Yeah, I'll find her.
-He's the best ambassador for Pittsburgh.

I'm gonna go knock on her door
next time I'm in town.

What is this very architectural
construction you have, Dave?

I don't know. I was like, I need dessert.

And-- You know, when we first opened up
Momofuku, I was like, you know what?

People wanted dessert.
I was like, well, I don't make dessert.

So, I'd go across the bodega
in the street,

and I would just buy these
in the freezer,

and I'd just serve them to people,
technically a sandwich.

I think this is also as nostalgic
as you can get,

especially when you have, like,
Good Humor trucks and everything.

This, to me, tastes like childhood.

This is my grilled cheese.

-So enjoy.
-Oh, my God.

The classic.

I've never seen it sliced diagonal,
that's beautiful.

Because I'm inspired by Joel,
everything on the diagonal today.

All right, cheers, guys. Thank you, guys.

-Thank you.
-Thank you for the gift.