Original subtitles

Welcome back, guys.

Season three, Dinner Time Live.

Can you believe it? We are back again.

And this season, we're going to be cooking every episode

with a theme of sort of food memories.

And for today's guest, I want to mess around with the idea

of sandwiches and nostalgia of eating sandwiches growing up.

And we have Joe Manganiello, who's been a repeat guest,

and we have Joel Kim Booster.

Both have been on very, very successful Netflix programs as of late.

And here they are. Very handsome gentlemen.

And I was inspired by the sandwich that Eric Ripert,

the great chef, my friend of Le Bernardin in New York City,

he grew up eating this croque monsieur,

which is a French grilled cheese sandwich.

And he turned it

into this luxurious beauty that has caviar and smoked salmon.

It's decadent. And we'll start off with that.

Joe grew up eating a tuna fish sandwich.

In Pittsburgh, his dad was a big cook,

and I want to merge that with the steak sandwich that I love so much

at a restaurant called Shima in Tokyo.

And then Joel, he grew up in the Midwest,

and he ate a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches.

So, I feel like you either grow up eating a tuna fish sandwich

or a grilled cheese.

We're gonna put it all on American white bread and have some fun,

do some twists on that. Maybe there's dessert.

Maybe we'll see something else that's going to happen.

Might be a little new feature we're unveiling today, maybe.

-A little surprise. -A little surprise.

Thanks, guys. Stay tuned.

Welcome back, guys. I am your host, David Chang.

This is Dinner Time Live, season three.

That is Chris Ying, formerly known as the "Voice of the Internet."

Now he is the tsar of voting.

You'll find out about that in a little bit.

Here to serve people.

And we're joined with Joe and Joel.

-Thank you, guys. You've been on before. -Thanks for having me back.

Really, really.

You were one of the fan favorites, so really excited to have you guys.

I think it was the Dennis Rodman sweatshirt.

Nice to be back. I brought a guest.

-I brought Bubbles Manganiello. -Bubbles in the house!

I'm just doing some prep work over here

on Bubbles' little treats, because she's going to get mad.

Uh, I'm gonna-- can I give Bubbles a little smoked salmon?

I mean, she would love that.

-Okay. -Huge day for Bubbles.

-Here we go. -We've done so much stuff together.

I know, and you know, I was supposed to be on last season,

but I had to get my wisdom teeth out.

Sure, sure you did, Joel. Sure, sure, sure.

And I was still willing to come, but your producers were like,

maybe you shouldn't risk a dry socket for this.

Maybe you should turn 19 years old before you come on.

"A dry socket's good TV, Joel, I don't know."

But congratulations to you both, right?

-Thank you. -On the Emmy nom, Nonnas, right?

Nonnas, man. Netflix.

Whoa, we're on Netflix! Oh, my gosh.

And One Piece.

-And One Piece, Legendary. -Sometime soon.

Sometime soon.

And you have the biggest thing out there right now.

It's the craziest thing.

I'm a very small part of KPop Demon Hunters.

DINNER TIME LIVE KITCHEN - ROW DTLA

I'm three different voices in KPop Demon Hunters.

And it is the craziest thing.

I don't think any of us knew that it was going to

blow up in the way that it does. And it is now--

I've gotten texts from like, people I went to high school with.

An-- Pretty much anyone with kids.

It's the one thing now--

It's the one family-friendly thing I've ever done in my entire life.

It's nice. It's nice that my friends with families can actually…

Don't be mad.

Uh, I have not let my children see it yet

because I'm trying to hold back the floodgates

because everybody I know is transfixed on it.

Well, you'll never not hear those songs ever again

as soon as you introduce your kids to it.

Um, well…

We're here because season three,

I want this to be about food memories, right?

Every episode, I want us to talk about something that means something

to us to eat.

And since this is season three, episode one,

I wanted to start off with something that everyone can sort of relate to.

And maybe the first dish may not be something you can relate to,

but I'll explain that in a second.

-Um… Sandwiches, right? -Yeah.

-The world over has sandwiches. -Uh-huh.

So, I wanted to make sure that we sort of limited the scope.

It has to be on white bread, Pullman loaf, something like this.

Okay.

And I didn't want to just

make sandwiches that-- We got some information, right?

Tuna fish, grilled cheese.

I wanted to sort of do a spin on it, and I was thinking, how could we do this?

And I was inspired by Eric Ripert,

Le Bernardin, three Michelin star, one of the great chefs in the world.

What's up, Eric?

And he has this dish that he made, and it's simple,

but it's decadent, and it's a croque monsieur,

which is a French grilled cheese.

His grandmother used to make it for him.

And he took this idea

and he put his spin on it and all the things that he's learned.

And he makes this really caviar smoked salmon.

It's almost like a little bit of a grilled cheese,

a little bit of something else.

And I wanted to sort of take that idea of not necessarily elevating it,

but adding that to tuna fish sandwich and a grilled cheese and sort of

have some fun so we can talk about it, have good times,

-good laughs, good eats. -Done. Done.

-I'm gonna get started on making this. -First, I have a gift for you.

As a return guest, I figured I wanted to bring you something this time

in return for that incredible meal.

I hope you like these. I think you will.

Shout out to my buddy Jay at Bodega, which is also in The Row.

-What's up? -Come on down.

-What's up, Jay? -My favorite store.

Oh, man. Korean. Chung!

I can read enough Korean.

Wow.

Dude. You see this?

-That is-- -Whoa.

-What in the world? -Now, look at the tongues.

The left shoe has a different tongue than the right.

That's the right tongue. That's the Jumpman.

And the left tongue is…

-Check it out. -Korean flag.

-Look at that. Look at that. -Wow. That's sick.

-Sweet. -Nice.

I also brought a gift, David, but it's…

-Hey, it's not here yet. -Your gift is just you being here.

-Yeah. -Hey, that's amazing.

First time, you don't need to bring anything.

And I'm just so happy that Joel feels inadequate already.

Already I'm sitting next to this man, and now I have to--

With a five-pound chihuahua on his lap.

-Yeah, yeah, that balances things out. -So--

Let me get started on the sandwich.

Bubbles is getting started on her smoked salmon.

Uh, speaking of smoked salmon,

most people haven't seen it in whatever form you've got here, Dave,

if you just buy salmon for a bagel or something.

Yeah, this is lightly smoked.

I love the commercially bought stuff anyway, but sometimes it can be,

Um, I wouldn't say too harsh, but a lot of smoky flavor.

This is just gently smoked.

-Mh-hm. -Um, I think that is good.

Add a little lemon confit.

Amazing.

I properly fasted before coming here.

-Yeah. -So everything

that you're doing right now is working for me.

You know, Joel, the producers here were like, "You've got to get them

to talk about the chicken smoothie." I was like, we're not talking about it.

-Yeah, no, I'm-- -Done. We're done.

I used to-- Back when I was four and--

We don't have to talk about it.

I would blend chicken

in the blender, um, and drink it like a smoothie.

-Okay, but-- Okay. -Okay.

But here's the thing, as somebody like True Blood,

Magic Mike, for years, it was just about protein every 90-minutes.

I was training the way like a professional athlete would train.

Like, I knew where all the Koo Koo Roos around the city.

I knew where all the good protein places were.

Like, I go into a meeting, I know I have to get out, I gotta go eat there.

So like, that totally sounds like something I would do.

-Just to get-- -Thank you. Thank you.

I'll sit there with the chicken.

No, that's the thing. I couldn't eat more chicken.

-I get it. -That's the thing. I had to drink it.

There was no other choice.

But now I'm in a relationship, and I do not care anymore.

-Really? That's it? You're out? -Yeah, no. I'm like,

I'll eat whatever. It's takeout on the couch every day. That's it.

Uh, chicken in a blender, I'm sure, there's probably a lot of, like…

-body builders-- -Oh, yeah, no,

-it's an old-school bodybuilding thing. -Really?

-Or are you guys just making that up? -No, no, no, it's for real.

I don't know if, like, Arnold was doing it, but…

Well, it's kind of like in Rocky when he wakes up in the morning

and just starts cracking eggs into a glass.

-Slightly more edible, I think, but, yeah. -Yeah. This looks…

-That's a hell of a lot of caviar. -I know.

It's, you know, you guys are special guests.

-Thank you so much. -Uncle Ted said, "Listen,

let's open up the caviar budget for you guys."

Thanks, Uncle Ted.

-This is for Nonnas. -Doing so well.

If I respected you a little bit less,

I was gonna smoke a joint before I came here, um,

but I respect you too much,

and the audience at home to do that to you.

Who's to say we can't take a commercial break?

I was gonna say, what Netflix lacks in residual money,

it makes up for in caviar.

You come on the cooking show and you get your residuals in caviar.

Just a giant dollop.

All right, we're gonna-- Get some mayonnaise on there.

No mayonnaise.

-What is-- What are you-- -It's just butter, right?

Just butter, straight butter.

We're going to talk about mayonnaise in a second,

but, you know, I think it's one of the-- What?

Hear ye! Hear ye!

'Tis I, the fourth Earl of Sandwich,

and the first Duke of Audience Participation.

No doubt you remember me as the namesake of the sandwich,

but now they've trotted my old weary bones out here to regale you

with the details of a new innovation, real-time voting.

Tonight, David is elevating two sandwiches you all remember from your youth,

the noble tuna fish and the ooey-gooey grilled cheese.

But before he does, we want to hear your opinion

of these two nostalgic tastes of childhood.

In just a moment, you shall have the chance

to rank them from one to five stars. I can feel Joel looking at me.

One star meaning nay, and five stars meaning wondrous.

First, how doth thou rate a classic tuna fish sandwich

like the one young Joe recalls so fondly from his childhood?

Your window to vote on this opens right now.

Use thine remote if you're watching on your TV,

or tap directly on your phone screen if you're streaming

on a phone or tablet.

I've already logged my vote.

In a moment, our two guests will register theirs.

Viewers, your collective voice is the fourth vote, lo,

be sure to keep an eye on that timer bar at the bottom of your screen.

Once the timer's up for tuna, you shall have the chance to vote

on option two, which is how you rate a standard grilled cheese sandwich.

Kind sirs, Joe and Joel,

what are thine thoughts on the matter of classic tuna versus grilled cheese?

-I'm really not gonna recover -No, right?

-from this. -No, right?

Guys, this is how thirsty he is to be a SAG member.

But I love this, like, iambic pentameter.

-Grilled! -And grilled cheese!

On the nine-syllable line, you must go grilled.

I feel like I'm watching Hamilton right now.

-I love the Asian Earl of Sandwich. -It's like a very poor--

Where do we rate this mid-Atlantic dialect?

That's what I wanna know.

So we're seeing, like, a Netflix algorithm seeing this curve where it peaks

with people watching with Nonnas and "KPop

Demon Slayers", and now we have iambic pentameter.

…whole costume budget will be for nothing

if you guys don't register your votes.

Without speaking so funny,

we wanna just explain exactly quickly what the hell's happening.

For the first time on Dinnertime Live,

we are asking people at home to participate, to weigh in.

I'm voting, our guests are voting.

The audience at home is voting on the topics

pertaining to Dave's theme of the art of the sandwich.

I'm gonna reveal the results later in the show.

-The only real democracy in America. -The only one left.

-Dinner Time Live with David Chang. -Yeah.

Um, you know, one of the things with sandwiches in general is

I feel like you have to eat it with something else, right?

And when you go to Le Bernardin,

you might get this croque monsieur, but it's served with sometimes a salad,

or some type of other beautiful, fancy garnish.

I want to do something that was still fancy elevated

because I think you have to have chips with a sandwich.

-That's just me. -Yes. Chips on the sandwich?

Or salad too. You can do either or.

When you say chips, you mean, like, American chips, not crisps.

-This is actually French. -French.

Because it's a pomme souffle.

-Have you guys had a pomme souffle? -Never heard of it.

So, this is the bane of many cooks

when they have this on their station in a professional restaurant.

And what you see here is a thinly sliced potato,

but you have to slice it right, cook it two times,

and let the steam puff it out.

And they're like potato pillows, and I wanna serve that with this sandwich.

You know what it reminds me of?

It reminds me of José Andrés at The Bazaar.

He would make those steak and cheese…

where it was puffed up, like it was like a football, almost.

You know what I'm talking about?

Like a little puffy gougere or something.

-Yeah exactly. -Speaking of cheese, Joel,

I need to know what you think about--

how you rate grilled cheese and tuna fish here.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

I did tuna, but I didn't do grilled cheese.

Wait, so the audience can vote right now.

The audience is voting as we speak.

-Vote along. -There we go.

Okay.

You know, I thought one reason I also wanted to do the sandwich,

to be totally honest, was, it's going to be easy to make.

There's nothing easy about doing it.

Uh, there's a reason why it's a three Michelin star restaurant.

It's all about keeping things simple, perfect knife cuts, everything, and…

I hope Eric is not looking at this and being like, "What are you doing?"

Well, weirdly enough,

like, even just slicing the bread is not easy to do, right? Like…

And, yeah, I already miss…

You know what?

-Start over. -It looks beautiful.

It looks really good.

You just blame it on me. I'm a Pittsburgh guy.

We put everything in a sandwich.

French fries.

We made a lot of French fries in that sandwich you ate last time.

Sure did, yeah. Exactly.

Wow, look at this. This looks amazing.

I'm gonna cut it again.

You cut the crusts off, I noticed.

Yeah, I was gonna ask too.

What is your-- obviously triangles, not down the middle?

I am just trying to be respectful of how it's served at a restaurant

without bastardizing it too much.

So, this is sort of how Eric does it.

Joel, if you're making a sandwich for yourself,

-are you going diagonal or are you going… -I'm not even cutting the sandwich.

Let's be honest.

No cuts for Dave.

I mean-- diagonal for sure. I'm a classis-- classic.

You know, like, it's easier to eat.

You don't have to… I don't know.

It's-- Down the middle makes no sense to me, quite frankly.

Unless it's like a sub or something already long.

But if it's a square sandwich, it's gotta be…

We're gonna do only diagonals today for Joel.

-Yeah, here you go. -I prefer--

And I don't want these to overshadow this beautiful sandwich, but…

-Those look awesome. -They really do.

These are really good.

But I don't know if you talked…

Oh, my God, dude, I wanna, like, lick that…

-I know. -…cutting board.

No. No, no, no.

I thought about it!

-All right. -A little bit of salt. Ugh.

But, Dave, you were talking about this sandwich

as, like, a nostalgic thing that he sort of changed around.

It makes sense though, right? Ham, instead of ham, it's smoky salmon…

-same spirit. -Hell, yeah.

-Oh, my god. -Same spirit.

So, we take this idea that we all have-- we grow up eating something,

whether it was your grandmother or your uncle,

and you're eating something.

And sometimes that nostalgia is just nostalgia.

It doesn't mean it's actually good, you know?

-But this one is pretty good. -Man.

-The cheese is… -What kind of cheese?

-Gruyère. -Gruyère.

-I mean… -Oh, my God, dude.

…this is…

I mean, what is that?

You put a bunch of caviar in between two pieces of bread,

it tastes dope.

But also that butter crisping the bread mixes

with the caviar perfectly.

Like, it's just… …the butteriness.

Did you cut the bread in thinner slices too?

-I did for this one. Um… -Yeah.

And I wish I-- I… You know what?

I did. I invented this sandwich.

My grandmother was French

and she served me croque monsieur as well.

-So, this is where we're at. -Eric who?

Eric who? Um…

-Dude, I could eat like 100 of these. -Same.

-My God. -Same.

-Um, my fiancé’s watching at home… -I'm gonna get start--

…and I kind of told him that I was gonna bring food home,

but I'm sorry, baby.

I don't know how much of it's making it--

making it home.

These are awesome.

-Well… -They're chewy.

-Mm-hmm. -Like, chewy and crunchy.

I know, and they actually… 'Cause it came right out of the fryer,

they're gonna get a little bit more crunchy

as they dry out a little bit, so…

I mean, they're not gonna last long. I'll say that.

-Mm-mm. -This-- This is…

It-- It's like a potato chip

-is what it feel-- -I--

-Like a fresh, chewy, like, homemade… -I mean…

-Mission accomplished. -…potato chip.

You know what I mean? When you have, like… Oh, man.

It's what we do here.

We make dreams come true with potato-y pillows.

Dave's about to get into the nostalgic portion

of today's show, and I think as a good setup,

I have the results of our first ever Star Vote.

I will now reveal whether our viewers are Team Tuna or Team Cheese.

I think we know how this is going to go.

The classic tuna fish received three and three-quarters star votes.

Grilled cheese, on the other hand,

also received three and three-quarters star votes.

Who's rating a grilled cheese under four or five stars?

-It's like-- -It's wild, I know, but if we get

-into the decimal points… -It's democracy.

This isn't the first time I've been shocked by election results.

…grilled cheese won by a hair.

-Mmm. -It was a hanging chat, I know.

So, while you guys are eating that,

let me just talk about the next thing I just dropped.

-This is insane, man. -Um…

So, we asked for some information.

I mean, we know a lot about you, Pittsburgh,

but we also didn't realize your dad was such an avid cook,

and he would make you these tuna fish sandwiches.

And while this is not a sandwich,

this is something that you commonly would put in a sandwich.

I didn't want to give you too much bread.

But to me, I thought, this is exactly the thing

that we want to talk about right now, where-- nostalgia, right?

And maybe it's time to think about exactly what we're eating.

Because…

I mean, listen, I think we've all eaten our fair share of tuna.

-But it shouldn't… -Yum.

I just don't think it should be in spring water.

-That's just my opinion. -Yeah. Agreed.

I feel like I haven't met anybody that thinks that that

in and of itself is delicious.

-Even you, with… -Yeah.

Even you, Joel.

Even me with my messed up taste buds.

You wouldn't-- You aren't making that into a smoothie.

-No, no, no. -No.

It can only be made delicious if you're adding fat.

And I think this is albacore tuna and there's several varieties

of tuna in this world, but really we only eat bluefin,

yellowfin, bigeye.

-There's white tuna. Skipjack. -Albacore and skipjack.

But America basically is the king of eating albacore.

And I think it's amazing because it's…

Amazing doesn't mean it's delicious.

Amazing is it fed a lot of people post-World War II.

I mean, what else?

Basically, nobody in America ate tuna until they started canning it.

-Just not a food we ate. -No.

And then it became basically a protein staple in the country.

So, that is amazing. It's fed a ton of people.

I think it's super nostalgic.

This version, Joe, was your dad's recipe.

So, my dad's from Boston.

And, um, you know, it's like, my mother did most of the cooking growing up.

But, like, on weekends, you know, Dad was around.

-Dad would make tuna sandwiches. -Mm-hmm.

But he'd, um, you know, mustard, he'd have like a powdered mustard,

and then he'd have like a-- like a-- like a hot sauce in it.

Carrots, celery get chopped up into it.

-This-- This is like… -It's dope.

-That's what it is. -This is it.

And he'd serve it on, like, a French baguette,

you know, like, warm, crispy.

It was awesome.

So, you, like, you loved those Saturday afternoons where--

where Dad would make the sandwich.

-It's a classic Dad meal. Yeah. -This is, like, awesome.

But I feel like if it's--

The one reason why I feel like tuna fish, while it is beloved,

it equally seems to be loathed by a lot of people, too.

And if it's not because of the, sort of, the parents,

I think it's because you can only make it taste delicious with mayonnaise,

and I think mayonnaise is a…

-It's a… -It's a…

-People have a lot of feelings. -Divisive. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I didn't like mayonnaise until I was an adult.

I hated it growing up. I hated it.

-You don't love mayonnaise, right? -I wasn't a mayonnaise guy either.

No, no, no.

Uh, I have to point out that Joel has created a little…

-I mean, if you're not… -…tuna spring roll over here.

…filling your potato pillows full of the tuna salad,

what are you even doing?

He's filling the potato-- the pommes souffle with tuna salad.

Um. Did you ever put tuna in a blender?

That's a step too far even for me.

-So, albacore… -I wanted it to be hot,

I didn't need it to be that hot.

Albacore, skipjack are like the commodity,

widely available tunas. That's why we get them in the can.

That's not what you're doing here.

No, and listen, I want to make it-- for the record. Like, I grew up eating--

I think it's great,

but maybe we should start to not pack it in water, spring water.

Maybe just pack it in ocean water.

Spring water doesn't make any sense to me. Let's start packing in olive oil.

The rest of the world seems to pack it in olive oil.

It's delicious.

How worried do we have to be about mercury today?

-It's a good question. -Yeah.

Have you met anybody that's gotten mercury poisoning

'cause they eat sushi or tuna so much?

No, no.

One can hope.

So, um, while this is…

something I just sliced for you guys, that was a chunk of chutoro.

This is the medium fattiness belly of a bluefin tuna.

-Wow. -Usually you don't see this served--

I mean, yes, you do serve, uh, tataki, but I've never seen it in a sandwich.

Um…

…and because it has the right amount of fat content,

I feel like this reminds me of the sandwich that I love so much

in Japan, and it's by this restaurant, and the chef's name is Shima.

And we featured it a little bit in Ugly Delicious, Season One or Two.

And he takes all of this sort of proprietary wagyu

from his family's farm and he puts it-- It's all leftover.

And you should not go to this restaurant without ordering everything else.

Please don't just get the sandwich.

But they make these beautiful giant sort of white loaf bread sandwiches

with this tomato compote and stacks of this beef.

-Wow. -And it's just one of the most

delicious things.

And what I love about it too is, I have a lot of thoughts on sandwiches.

I love a lot of different kinds of sandwiches, but I don't,

for the most part, I don't want to have salad in my sandwich.

-I think salads are great on the side… -Uh-huh.

-Right. -…on the side, even hamburgers.

Unless it's a cooked vegetable, I want it on the side.

And that's what I want to try to do for you guys right now,

make a Shima-inspired, sort of steak sandwich.

Dope.

I mean, let's do it.

-All right. And this is in Japan? Okay. -This is in Tokyo, yes.

I'm going to Tokyo for the first time next year.

-Uh-oh. -You know?

Well, like Dave said, he personally almost ruined this restaurant

by popularizing this sandwich when we had it.

-Oh, no. -He hates you.

And then sending hordes of tourists chasing the sandwich.

Yeah, I really-- I really messed it up.

Got to go have the meal, and then traditionally,

the chef would serve this with your leftover,

whatever steak you had left, you'd make into a sandwich

or pack it up to go, which is awesome.

-Got it. Okay. -All right.

And so these are-- They're still a little pink, I assume?

Yeah. Yeah, it's definitely going to be pink.

I might have overcooked it. I don't think so.

But I want to serve this with something that honestly

is gonna be delicious if it was served in the sandwich.

And this is a salad I make at home all the time, and I like it

because it's fresh, it's delicious, it's simple.

I used to make it when I worked for Jean-Georges back in the day.

And what I love most about it is you can serve it all

in one bowl with the salad dressing,

and the dressing is just lemon juice and olive oil.

The one thing is, is you sort of have to use this scary machine,

and I'm gonna move extra careful.

I don't know if you guys have used this mandoline before.

I have-- You can actually see the chunk of thumb that's missing

-from using a mandoline. -There you go now. Now you know.

-Yeah. -What were you slicing, Joel?

Probably-- I think it was a carrot.

And just like, it's the worst kind of cut.

It's the worst cut in the world.

-Can you see that little… -Cannot stop bleeding.

-Oh, yeah, man. -Good little chunk.

I'm really terrified of these things always.

So I've sliced some fennel, arugula is at the bottom,

and some button mushrooms.

Button mushrooms are one of my favorite mushrooms

when they're sliced thin.

And this is something that maybe people may not realize.

When you have a thin bit of it, it's actually very--

it like perfumes in the back of your mouth and you get a lot of flavor.

Yeah.

-The humble button. Underrated. -Who knew?

Right? It's just a lot--

It's almost like an everlasting gobstopper to me sometimes.

Wow.

I think you're overselling the button mushroom a little bit, but…

-It's good but… -It's a mushroom.

-…it ain't candy. -He's like, it ain't no caviar

and potato chips.

And I'm going to shave some Parmesan in here.

-I love fennel too, man. -Yeah. I love the taste of fennel.

I feel like fennel is…

an acquired taste.

-Mmm. -'Cause it has that anise licorice flavor,

but the older I get, the more I love it.

It's really good for your stomach too, right?

-Is it? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm pretty sure

-it's like, I used to, it's like good for… -You know what it is now?

Yeah. Don't look it up.

-You saw it on TV. -Don't ask anybody else.

You like tarragon?

-Love tarragon. -Love tarragon.

That's another one that's strong in that kind of family.

Joe, is this close to dad's version of tuna fish?

-Yeah, it's like right in there. -Is this done with?

Thanks.

It's great. No, it's like completely taking me back.

That's like…

-So wild. -…right in there, yeah. Right in--

So what are we putting on the sandwich right now?

This is-- We dehydrated some tomatoes from the market

and we cooked it down with shallots, garlic,

and put a little mustard seed in there with some Sherry vinegar, a little sugar.

And again,

this is all based on the true story of what happens at Shima,

and I've eaten there many times, but I've never gotten the exact recipe,

so I'm assuming this is sort of similar.

And every time I have it, because of whatever this is,

it makes me think I'm eating a Big Mac,

like the most delicious Big Mac of all time.

So, I-- I'm hoping that…

I've actually never tasted this myself

with tuna, so let's just hope it works out.

Mmm.

Oh, my goodness.

Hmm. But it's almost like, um…

I've had a version with, like, jamón ibérico.

-Right. -You know?

-And if it's anything like that… -Jeez.

…it's going to be unbelievable.

-That is huge. -That is a lot of tuna.

That is a tremendous amount of tuna.

-I mean, you guys want to try that? -Yeah, please.

-Yeah, give it to us. -Bubbles.

Oh, yeah, Bubbles. You want some? Okay, here.

There you go. Try that.

-Pretty good, right? -Oh, God. Yeah.

-Oh, man. -This is a lot bigger than I…

I thought it was gonna be.

I'm wondering, should I cut off the sides? What do you guys think?

-What-- No? -I'm good. Not on this one. Mm-mm.

-Let's ask America. -Yeah, vote.

-Now's your chance to vote. -Oh, my goodness.

I let it over-- It's a little overcooked.

So we-- we talked before about, you know, trying to keep this thing PG-13.

I know.

-I was just thinking that. -Like, how many…

-F-bombs can we drop? -You get unlimited…

You get unlimited shits, but you only get one F?

Well, listen, the first few episodes, we were trying really hard

to get the lowest rated thing so children could watch it.

-Oh, sure. Joe Pesci was on. -And we were…

We blew past the shit and F-bomb quota with him.

We spent all of our unlimited shits and our F-bombs.

I promised I was gonna be so good,

but I've had so many moments where I put something in my mouth

and just wanted to go like… You know?

-It's okay. -That doesn't count.

No, I, literally.

-We're still under. -I didn't even-- My lips did not,

none of it formed.

Oh, my goodness.

Now, when you did that, does the closed captioning…

-That's what-- -…come up or not?

I actually cannot wait to find out.

-I can't imagine. -What does happen?

-Again, I didn't finish. -What happens when we say an F-bomb?

Let's just keep doing it and then we'll find out soon enough.

When you mouth it, there's no problem.

Salad, you guys have some tongs over here.

Okay.

And I will plate this.

I gotta be honest,

if I was a professional cook watching at home,

I'd be like, "That idiot, he overcooked it!"

And I knew it. This is the part--

I think you've got two idiots in front of you who don't really know.

I mean, it's still gonna be good, but I definitely, it should be…

really red, so privately, this is exactly the way I wanted to cook it.

-Perfect cuisson. -No--

Perfect cuisson on there, yeah.

-Oh, my. -Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, yeah! There we go, perfect.

How am I supposed to get this in my mouth?

Carefully. Very careful, Joel.

Okay?

Oh, wow.

I mean, I think maybe I put a little too much tuna in there.

Maybe sliced the bread…

…a little too thick.

Too much tuna.

Shout out Kroll and Mulaney, but…

-God. -But this relish, this tomato relish…

Does it have that little McDonald's taste to me?

-I don't know why, but it does to me. -Oh, yeah.

-A little sweet, a little pickly. -I think it's the mustard.

Yep.

And it brings like the sweetness in the bread a little bit.

So good, yeah.

Dave, do you believe in a sandwich that is too big to fit in your mouth?

Are you anti-gigantic sandwiches?

I never had a problem. Somehow.

-Let us know when that happens. -If it's too big, I still eat it somehow,

so I unhinge my jaw like a boa constrictor and it just goes down.

All right, friends. It's time for another Real Time Star Vote.

This round, a question as old as time and as silly as a schoolboy.

Soup or salad? Is this even a choice?

On the one hand, a comforting cup of warm soup,

maybe a bisque or a chowder, minestrone, a cream of whatever.

Let us know how you rate soup as a side dish

on a scale from one to five stars.

So context-dependent though, right? Like, what is it a side to?

-Right. -A side of a sandwich.

-Okay. What kind of sandwich? -On the side of your sandwich.

You know, it's just, it's so…

Let's call it a grilled cheese and tomato soup.

Okay. Then I know my answer for sure.

Once the window is closed on soup,

you'll be asked how you rate a pile of cold raw leaves as a side dish.

As always, our nerds will tabulate your votes

and let us know whether you all are on team soup or you hate happiness.

Joel and Joe, clearly I have a stance on this matter.

Do you guys, if you're at a diner,

let's say you order a sandwich and they say, "Soup or salad?"

Lightly campaigning over there.

-Just a little-- a little bit. -Yeah, leading the witness a little bit.

You know the thing I love about a sandwich with white bread too is the squish.

You know, like being able to really like-- especially for a sandwich of this size.

Well, you should know that that was bread that…

We gotta get special bread, so this is Japanese milk bread,

Pullman loaf white bread,

so it has a little bit of a denser texture, but we made this

with all kinds of bread, and they're all gonna be good.

So if you're watching at home, you wanna make these recipes,

you can do it with the white bread from your grocery store,

it'll still work out.

Might be a little bit messier, but you should be fine.

-Wow. -But I wanted to get started on the soup,

and if it seems like I'm just throwing a bunch

of stuff together with shelf-stable ingredients,

I think that is actually the origin of cream of tomato.

Cream of tomato with grilled cheese is a pairing that literally came about,

like, during food shortages, World War II. You need shelf-stable food,

hence American processed cheese, shelf-stable bread,

-and then-- -Canned tuna.

Canned tuna, cream of, like, canned tomatoes.

You make this soup and then the pairing has just stuck forever.

Dave, you're like re-examining these nostalgic things.

Do you think the pairing makes sense?

I don't know why, but it makes total sense.

When I have a grilled cheese, of course I'll eat a grilled cheese with,

like, nothing, you know, but…

it almost feels like it has to be dipped in something.

-Mm-hmm. -And that's why--

I don't know why it makes sense, but yeah,

of course I'll eat a grilled cheese or any sandwich solo, but you know.

If I have to, like, raw-dog the sandwich, I'll do it.

It's interesting. It's almost ironic that, like,

grilled cheese is one of the sandwiches I think you could--

that's, like, better, like, you can get away

with eating without a soup because it's gooey and it's, like,

you know, it's not dry by any means.

And that's, like, when I go to a place and I get a soup

and a sandwich, oftentimes it's because I need the soup

because it's, like, some kind of like club sandwich

or something that's, like, a little dry, you know?

And so the soup is… is paramount.

But this, it's like a nice… it's nice in addition, but--

You're putting it in the microwave.

Joel, you were describing soup as the sandwich lube,

is what you were telling us.

The reason I put it in the microwave is, again, besides I love Chef Mike,

the microwave, I find that if you're making quesadillas

or grilled cheese,

especially since I do make it for my kids all the time,

there's a little bit of like a… like a science issue,

because by the time you get the bread toasted and golden brown,

the cheese might still be un-melted.

So I just toast it real quickly in there, and you know, there you go.

Get it moving.

Oh, man, so good.

Keen eyes will note the giant plastic bottle

of very nice vodka you have in front of you there, Dave.

-What's happening there? -I love that brand, I love that brand.

-Big Bottle. Big Bottle vodka. -Not a bottle, there's a handle.

You know it's good when it comes in a big plastic jug.

I'm now…

trying to get this cooking.

Is there any, like, substantial difference

between directly putting the butter on the bread

versus what you just did, dumping a bunch of butter in the pan?

No, I should definitely put it on the bread, but I looked,

I'm running out of time a little bit, and I'm like, "Fuck."

"Shit, fuck."

So this is the secret ingredient to this mac and cheese,

the mac and cheese addition to the grilled cheese.

-Shut up. -Because…

-That color, that natural cheese color. -Yeah.

You know, one of the things I love about a grilled cheese,

or just sort of maybe tacos in general,

like if I go to, say, like, Tacos 1986 or something,

you can get these griddled, or Cassell's here in L.A.,

you can get these cheese wings.

And again, taking this idea of this nostalgic thing

and merging it with other ideas, when I have something crispy,

the thing I love the most

about crispy is when I have jiaozi or potstickers.

I mean, you're gonna know how to pronounce all this better than I do.

But you put a cornstarch slurry as it's cooking

and you get this perfect lattice crispiness.

And I don't know what we were doing,

but we had the great idea of merging these things together

with mac and cheese to make you a cheese wing.

And I hope that it comes to fruition.

Have you guys ever had this thing he's talking about,

you go, you order gyoza or potstickers and it has kind of like,

a thin crust around it, like a big, huge lattice work?

-No. -Pretend that you have.

I've been going to the wrong restaurant.

It doesn't make any sense.

Like, the starch comes off of the dumplings,

and then it forms, like, a crispy,

almost like blanket on it. So, this is his inspiration.

Is it like when you go to a Hiroshima-style restaurant,

like there's that kind of crispy barbecue-y kind of?

-Only on like the dumplings specifically. -I know what you're talking about.

So, it's called a binghua, which is a snowflake.

-Okay. -Do it proper.

I scare…

Scares the hell out of me when you say it.

-Binghua! -That's it.

So, as you can see here,

I'm doing something that you might do all the time.

You might mix some vodka with some mac-and-cheese cheese powder,

some corn starch, and make a slurry.

This is what the insides of my stomach look like

on Saturday night.

That's real vodka.

And… you know, don't try this at home, please.

I gotta tell you, I'm interested, I'm a little dubious,

but I can't wait. I trust you implicitly.

Whoa!

-That hit that light. -You're burning off.

I felt that. Did you feel that?

-Yeah. -A little bit.

You felt it?

Oh, man.

Oh, goodness.

-Some Benihana… happening? -A little bit.

Well, this is happening.

It is time to see where our audience stands on soup versus salad.

-All right. -Please.

Our viewers have spoken.

A hearty cup of cockle-warming soup on the side of your sandwich

earned four-and-a-half-star votes.

-In the other corner, you gave a-- -I think they're making sense.

You gave a pile of dead plant matter, also known as a side salad,

two-and-a-quarter-star votes.

-That means-- -That feels unjust.

That means-- Take it up with the courts, Joel.

That means soup wins. Logic prevails. Did you go salad?

No, I went… I still… Obviously, soup is the superior side,

but I do think a good salad is like…

I mean, what Dave just made for us is great.

It is true. I should not be insulting the thing

-that Dave literally made right there. -Thanks a lot, Chris.

Usually when you go with the sandwich,

the salad that comes on the side is not…

It's not that, like, orchard salad or with the pecans.

Or usually when you have a show, you don't trash the host's food.

I'm saying this is good. I'm saying usually at a restaurant,

you're just gonna get a couple of leaves.

Yeah, and it's like some strands of carrot, an old tomato.

-Yesterday… -Also the soup and, like,

when you're getting like a cup of soup,

you can get like the clam chowder, like the good stuff.

In the soup, is this just tomato sauce that you put in it?

I did. I put our good buddy Chris Bianco's DiNapoli Tomatoes,

a little tomato paste, chicken bouillon… cream, milk, and that's it.

-Nice. -That is it.

-Somehow… I forgot. -I think I'm gonna eat more.

I mean, it's crazy,

because your fancy tuna is really, really good, no doubt about it.

But there is something so, like,

kind of addictive about your dad's recipe of tuna salad.

Literally.

No, it was like, you live that. Remember Steak-umms?

-Of course. -Yeah, it was Steak-umms,

or you got the tuna fish on the French bread.

Well, I just want to be honest, Joel, I sort of hate his dad right now.

Yeah, this is my first and only appearance on…

-Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot, Joe. -For real, they're like…

You can take that tuna salad away.

-All right. -Moment of truth.

Moment of truth.

Cheese wing.

Wow.

-Very nice. -Wow.

Look at that thing.

That's crazy, man.

That looks incredible.

I can't believe that's what you mixed up just now.

There you go.

-Wow, my goodness. -Okay.

-Yes. -Cheese wing it is.

Are we dipping this?

-You can eat it however you want. -However?

As a repeat guest,

-you make the rules. -Okay.

You're gonna yell at me for my table manners.

So, we, again, want to take the grilled cheese,

accentuate some of the things that I love about sort of cheesy things

with the crispy elements and merge it with, you know, this…

The first time I ever had it was at a restaurant called Asian Legend

in Toronto, and I was like, "What is this? This is not dumplings."

It is dumplings, but it's got this crispy layer.

So, we added vodka, which seems crazy,

but if we added water,

it would take too long to evaporate, especially on a live show.

So, we needed liquid to sort of melt it all together, mix it all together,

and it evaporates more quickly.

And cornstarch is how you make the slurry

-and make it crispy, and there you go. -This is so good.

And, like, is American cheese the best for grilled cheese?

Listen, I think this is what the vote should be.

Like, I think it's the king of cheeses, Parmesan's number two.

Like, people are so embarrassed, I think, in America about American cheese.

I think it's amazing. It's basically just cheddar cheese

with sodium citrate and some other things.

It's a miracle. It's a magical thing.

All right, I'm being told it's the last chance of the night

for our viewers to weigh in. This time I have a multiple-choice poll.

Everybody here, Joel, Joe, and Dave,

hails from a different part of the country,

but which one of these guys can claim the best sandwiches?

Is it Pittsburgh and Joe's beloved Primanti Bros.,

Joel's neck-of-the-woods Chicago with their Italian beefs,

New York, where David started Momofuku and the streets are paved in pastrami?

Or is it the wildcard city of Indianapolis,

home of… …Dave's sandwich nemesis, Pat McAfee?

I love Pat.

Once again, use your remotes or tap directly on your screen

to express yourselves

and to stand up for one of these great American cities,

all equally famous for their sandwiches.

While everyone is voting at home, Joe and Joel,

what do you guys think is the great American sandwich city?

Pat's a Pittsburgh guy also,

so all you have to do is listen to him talk for five seconds.

I know, he totally lit me up a couple months ago.

Pat McAfee took Dave to school for omitting Pittsburgh.

It's hard when you're a fan of somebody and they just destroy you, but whatever.

I was just this year on tour, and I had a stop in Pittsburgh,

ate a lot of sandwiches.

I don't think from the place that you guys were talking about,

but I am not an Italian beef guy.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. -I know, I know, it's sacrilege.

If I'm in Chicago, and we talked about this before the show,

but the only regional food war I'm interested in is,

"Chicago has the best hot dogs."

Oh, really? What do you know?

-Okay. -And literally unscripted.

This is all unscripted, but I was like, you know what? We should have a nice--

This is what live TV is, to get you guys to battle over a hot dog.

And I was like, you know what? You guys both have opinions on hot dogs.

We're not talking about hot dog as a sandwich.

Yeah, cause it's not.

But, you know, a Chicago dog is very different

and has a point of view unlike any other in America.

-I think it's delicious. -Love it.

But you guys can go at it and two men enter, one man leaves.

Dude, Thunderdome. No. I…

Okay, so you're on tour in Pittsburgh. You ate a lot of sandwiches,

but you're not sure if you had a Primanti Bros. sandwich.

-I don't know if I did. -I will ask you one simple question.

-Were there French fries on it? -Yeah.

I thought that was just, like, a general, like, Pittsburgh thing.

Primanti Bros. Generally Primanti Bros.

So, yeah, they have the big steak fries, and they put them on top.

Coleslaw. Sour coleslaw.

Like, not the creamy, but the sour. Yeah, that's Primanti Bros.

-Did you have it with the hot sauce? -Oh, man, yes, of course.

The red dough. Look at this guy!

-All right! -It was literally everybody…

that when I said I was going on tour in-- I had a stop in Pittsburgh,

-that's where they told me. -And they knew? Okay, yeah.

That's it. Okay.

I don't want to break up this brotherly love, but Joe,

how do you feel about the Chicago hot dog?

Love a Chicago hot dog.

Any time I'm in Chicago, love the Chicago hot dog.

But I will say that whenever I'm at a Steeler game or a Pirates game

in Pittsburgh, I have all my friends from Chicago on, like, a thread,

and I'll send them pictures of hot dogs bathed in Heinz ketchup.

Yeah, get that shit out of here.

Like, I send it to them, and you just see, like, the thread pop off.

-They get so angry about it all. -That's what I don't understand.

People in Chicago are just so allergic to the idea of a hot dog with ketchup.

I think you can put a Chicago dog with ketchup.

I'm pro-ketchup in general.

Not in everything.

I mean, it doesn't say it on the bottle, but you know what that is. That's Heinz.

That's Heinz, baby. You can call it Akershire,

but it's still going to be Heinz.

We searched everywhere for an unbranded tomato ketchup.

Do not bring up Heinz in this way.

I'm going to say something, though. The last time I was on the show,

I wore a Dennis Rodman vintage-- Chicago guy.

I wore a Dennis Rodman vintage Bad As I Wanna Be sweatshirt.

And then on social media, they blurred it out.

-This is kind of like… -Very disrespectful to Dennis Rodman.

This is your revenge right here.

Everything's blurred every time I'm on this show.

Anyway, that's Heinz. It's Heinz, baby.

Okay, well, the people have spoken. I have the results here

in this envelope, and the city

with the best sandwiches in America, according to our viewers…

New York City.

-New York City. -What a surprise.

What a surprise, it wasn't Indianapolis.

Was hoping for Indianapolis…

-No. -Really was.

So, I'm off the fatwa list or Pat McAfee?

I don't think enough people have been to Pittsburgh is the problem.

-That's right. -That's the problem.

Everybody's been to New York. Everybody's been to Chicago.

A lot of people have escaped Indianapolis,

but not a lot of people have gone to Pittsburgh enough.

It's true. And hot take, the pizza in Pittsburgh is better than here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

-I see the pull quote right now. -Come find me. Come find me.

-Come find me. That's it. -Pittsburgh pizza.

People don't know, and we like it that way. It's the best.

You know what? He's got diplomatic immunity. He's…

He's Joe, he can do whatever he wants.

I appreciate that you're riding for Pittsburgh, though,

because I have to say, when I had my shows in Pittsburgh,

this woman came up to me after one of my shows, shaking, so excited.

It was like, I appreciate people who are excited to see me.

And her first words after the show were, "Why would you ever come here?"

I was like, you gotta have a little bit more--

you gotta ride for your city a little harder.

I've got a billion reasons for you.

Why would you ever come to Pittsburgh?

I was actually like, Joel-- I mean… Why would you come here?

Why would I add Pittsburgh as a stop on my tour?

-Wild. -Of course.

-But-- -Who is this lady?

-Yeah, I'll find her. -He's the best ambassador for Pittsburgh.

I'm gonna go knock on her door next time I'm in town.

What is this very architectural construction you have, Dave?

I don't know. I was like, I need dessert.

And-- You know, when we first opened up Momofuku, I was like, you know what?

People wanted dessert. I was like, well, I don't make dessert.

So, I'd go across the bodega in the street,

and I would just buy these in the freezer,

and I'd just serve them to people, technically a sandwich.

I think this is also as nostalgic as you can get,

especially when you have, like, Good Humor trucks and everything.

This, to me, tastes like childhood.

This is my grilled cheese.

-So enjoy. -Oh, my God.

The classic.

I've never seen it sliced diagonal, that's beautiful.

Because I'm inspired by Joel, everything on the diagonal today.

All right, cheers, guys. Thank you, guys.

-Thank you. -Thank you for the gift.