Original subtitles

Naughty America.

Nobody. Nobody.

Nobody. Does it better.

Hey, Justin.

Are you riding yourself?

Where's my son?

He had a lunch date.

Clearly he's much better at this whole online dating thing than me.

Oh, what? No luck?

No, I mean, no one looks back on me. And it's like the ones that do, it's like

they never follow through on the plan.

That's weird.

You're such a good looking guy. I can't imagine that's true. Let me see your

profile.

Okay, let's see what we have here.

Justin, these are horrible photos of you.

Really? Yeah, I mean, this one's of your foot.

I'm no model or photographer.

You just see up your nose on this one.

And what? I thought it was a good one.

Justin,

you are such a handsome guy, okay? These photos do not do you justice. No wonder

no one is swiping right.

You just need some photos that show who you really are.

The handsome boy that you are.

I'm sure if you had better photos, women would just be lining up.

Yeah, why don't we take some?

Really? Okay. Yeah, okay. Stand up.

All right. Okay.

So kind of pose, like kind of relax.

Chill. You're a cool guy.

Okay, here we go. Ready? Okay. One, two, three.

Okay. Oh, all right. Yeah, this is much better.

I mean, like a model one. I mean. That's right.

Okay. Oh, girls are going to love these.

All right.

Okay. Now, don't get so salacious.

I mean.

Come on.

I like them feisty.

Look natural.

Okay. Good job. Business professional?

Yeah. Yeah. Good.

You get it. Okay.

All right. Now, girls like little butts. Why don't you turn around a little bit?

Little butt?

Okay. All right.

There we go.

Yeah.

Okay. Let's take a look at them.

No gun show?

Yeah. Let's do it. Do the gun show? Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

Wait, which direction are we pointing?

I don't know. Whatever.

Okay. Let's do it. Okay.

Oh, yeah. Are you sure?

Really? Really sure. If you're going to show the gun, show the gun.

Okay. Ready?

Yeah. All right.

Yeah. Up in the air.

Oh, yeah.

You're the Superman.

Oh, the posture's everything.

That's true. Yeah. Oh, I think girls are really going to like me. Let's see.

Oh, wow. I like that one.

That's a good photo.

But are you sure it's going to work?

You know, I mean, these are good photos of you. But, you know, I think that's

what really gets girls is, like, masculinity, you know?

Like, oh, wow.

You know, like when they're swiping through all the photos, they want to

like, something that's going to capture their eye.

Make them go, whoa, right?

You want them to go, whoa, when they see your profile?

Yeah, more testosterone.

That looks pretty eating.

Let's do more testosterone.

Okay, now you hold the camera.

Okay. Okay.

I have an idea. Oh, my God. This is going to be great.

This is going to be perfect.

What?

It's perfect. I don't know if girls want this.

Justin, listen.

Okay, I am a woman.

And I know what women want. And women want dick pics.

Okay. Okay, so get to taking those photos.

Right.

This is really going to drive the women crazy.

Okay.

You're going to have more dates than you ever could have even imagined.

Yeah.

I mean, women like to play coy, like they don't like them, but they love

When you take photos, you want to get really

into it.

Yeah. Because people know in photos, they know if you're into it or not.

Of course. They can tell.

Yeah.

So when should I send these? Do you think in like, around like lunchtime?

Yeah? Okay.

Okay.

Every girl on that app is going to know what you're made of.

Very impressed.

These photos look amazing.

I bet they do.

Now why don't you put that phone down?

Okay. And you just let me enjoy.

Yeah.

Nice and slow.

There we go.

I feel its honor.

Yes. Oh, my God.

That was so easy.

Now you're getting us. Do it again.

Do it again.

Yes.

Yeah, they are.

for you.

the same way.

That's so good.

Yeah.

We'll show them now. Once, one at a time. But with these new pictures, only

they're going to get all the girls.

Naughty America.

Nobody. Nobody.

Nobody. Does it better.