All language subtitles for Bonus Dad s01e02 Brownies.eng

Davin breakfast is ready.

Smells wonderful. I'm sorry.

I have this new job of revitalizing
Shannon's non-existent

image is just consuming all of my time.

But he's like the Elon Musk of Kanye West.

It's the worst marketing job ever.

I don't have time to
be June Cleaver this morning.

Ma, we talked about this.
It's not a pop culture reference.

If it's, if it's, if it's
a reference of analog or black

and white, whatever.

Just eat as much as I know
you slaved over this fiber.

Let's just delight. I can't
already have a ride. Are who?

Just some friends for school.
You made friends. Okay.

I need names. Oh, I cannot
wait to host a sleepover.

Oh, I can't wait to be the cool mom. Oh.

And then we can do each other's hair.

We can talk about boys. No, mom owes mom.

Please don't make this a thing. But bye.

And I'm gonna be late getting home.

A few of us are going to Tom's taco parlor.
Tom's Tacos.

I used to go there when I was in high school.

Oh, I just remembered.
I don't care. Mom. Gotta go.

Action.

Oh, I didn't know.

Retired athletes woke up before noon

And I didn't know my landlord's sister

would be living in my guest room.

But here we are, sweetheart.

First of all, don't call me sweetheart.

And for the record, this is my house

and you're living in my guest room.

Well, technically you still live in New York

And technically you still live in your past.

I made breakfast.

So how's the operation
restored my image coming along

Like any other medical operation?

Bloody. But I have it all under control.

It's tempting as a bowl
of refined carb sound. I can't.

I have a meeting at my
daughter's school this morning.

Riley's mom thinks she's being bullied at school.

You are going to meet with the school. You,

Yeah. Me.

You just don't seem like
the PTA type of dad. No offense.

Well, looks can be deceiving.

Besides, I have to prove to

Riley's mom that I can handle this.

It's not just the media
that has the wrong idea about me.

I can't stand the idea
of somebody harassing my baby.

Who would do that? Riley won't name names.

So Vice Principal Soya
and I are gonna confront her

and force her to tell us who this punk is.

So you're gonna bully
her into telling you who it is.

That's exactly what I'm gonna do.

Make it through. No matter

what the odds may bring our week.

I can see the blessings coming our

way on.

I see the blessings coming our way, our

on day.

See the blessings coming our way.

So To repeat that, it's no olives.

Can I have the tomatoes on the side?

And can I have the dressing
be spicy but not too spicy?

You know, sometimes it's like
a little bit too spicy. Okay.

Can you repeat that back to me?

Oh, okay.

All right. Yeah. Great. I'll be on my way.

Someone's not getting a good

Yelp review.

Uh, what is going on in here?

I'm using the printer. No. What

Do you mean? No, it

was your bright idea for me to work for Shannon.

I need to make folders.

If you take one more move towards

that printer, what is the big

Deal? Hey,

look, I'm doing my job.

If you wanna make copies,
take your butt to FedEx.

FedEx costs money. You work for Shannon Ramsey.

He can buy you 20 printers.

No, he's a client. I work for myself.

So I will invoice him at the end

of the month like I do all of my other clients.

Girl, you ain't got no other clients.

Is this why you asked to have lunch with me?

So you can use my printer? No. Okay.

Yes. Okay. But I need stuff.

Yeah, you need stuff? No. Stop. You stop.

Stop. No, I, you

Here. Why did you get so

strong? Okay, but

What? I need folders.

Really, Mia? It's A really cute picture frame.

You took my picture out of the frame.

Yeah, you should thank me.

Oh, look, I'm just trying to do my job.

Okay, sis, if you haven't noticed,

I'm the only black woman
here, here at Johnson Realty.

It's like Wayne Brady Black.

We don't do shade Room
black until 5:00 PM on Fridays.

Okay? I'm sorry. I'm just a little on edge.
I know. Yeah.

My whole world has been turned upside down.

And Shannon is not the
easiest person to work for,

and he's even worse to live with.

Have you found him a place to live yet?

I'm still working on it. Well

Work faster because he's like a walking

disaster movie waiting to

Happen. I know

The one with the really bad graphics.

Ooh, what A really bad movie

Disaster just happened.

Don't you dare.

I need the folders. Can't work without folders.

Oh.

Oh. Is this the theme, Ms. Riley

that I've heard so much about?

Are you the lady who
stays in my dad's guest room?

It's actually not your dad. Can

I go home? Now?

What you can do is sit down and zip it.

But dad, Sit down and zip it.

What is going on here?

We're having a moment. Do you mind?

No. I mean this.

All right. It's going viral.
What the hell happened?

Instead of her telling
vice principal soya about being

bullied, she goes completely left

and blames her failing
grades on her home environment.

Home environment meaning me.

And then he suggests that I could be the problem.

Me. Can you believe that?

You mean to tell me that
you a professional athlete

who spent his entire life

on a different coast than
his daughter while he played

suddenly cares about her home environment?

You've been talking to
her mother, haven't you? No.

I'm just reading the comments.

Now I have to figure out how to fix this.

Well, I'm a heavy favorite for the Hall of Fame.

Why don't you lead with that?

You are unbelievable

While you fight over your career.

I wanna speak with my mother. I'm going home.

This is home. No,

My home is down the street. I've

never been here before

and no one knew you won't be here for long.

That's not true. I'm here.
I'm not going anywhere.

This is our house.

I didn't say anything about being my house first.

Look, I'm sorry, but baby
girl, somebody's bothering you.

You have to talk to me. It
it drives me crazy at the thought

of somebody making your life uncomfortable.

Hey, you don't understand. No one understands.

Hey, look, I get it. Girls can be mean.
I have been there.

You have? Yes, but let me
let you in on a little secret.

Most bullies are miserable people

that come from miserable
families and miserable parents.

And that's it. Hell no. That ain't it.

Look, fool. Only understand
brute force, baby girl, okay?

They get in your face, you
get in they face, they get mean.

You get meaner, they push, you push harder.

That's the only language
bullies understand. Okay?

You're Shannon Ramsey's kid.
Nobody messes with a Ramsey.

So your answer to bullying is toxic masculinity.

I don't know what that means,
but if you're against it,

I'm pretty sure I'm all for it.

Now, let me handle this. Come on, get up. Hit me,

Dad. Come

on. Hit me. I don't think that's necessary. No.

Please stay out of this. Come on, baby girl.

Listen, you can't let the bullies win, okay?

This is the only way. Hit me.

Okay? I, I can't,

I can't, I

You have to fight back. Okay?

Trust me, if they're bullying you,

they're probably harassing somebody else too.

Okay? Can we talk alone? Bedroom?

This has gone too far. You
are gonna traumatize that child.

This is my child. I can
traumatize her all I want.

You are acting like a black Karen right now.

Me. I'm serious.

You're critiquing and
complaining about everything.

Name one thing I complained about. Oh, this

Is too easy. It's like, ask me. What's

two plus two?

You're stalling. Okay?

You called Amazon yesterday

because your package
got delivered two hours late.

You sent an email to the homeowner's association

because your neighbor's grass was too high.

I bet you order spicy food and complaint.
It's too spicy.

Okay? There was one thing.

And secondly, sometimes you order spicy food

and it is too spicy. Oh

My. Are we done here, sweetheart?

No, we're not done here.
And don't call me sweetheart.

Riley is a basket case. Okay?

New school bullies her dad
moving into the neighborhood.

But you need to tread lightly

and not give her a gym membership to the MMA.

That's not how the MMA works.

Whatever, okay? She's delicate.

So you need to be delicate. You big brute.

Ow.

Oh hell.

I said it, dad. I confronted my bully.

Davin, are you okay? Don't say anything to her.

This is all your fault.

How? This my fault? I
don't know, but trust me it is.

Can't wait until my sister gets you outta here.

I rather, I pro's feet than live here with you.

You're not exactly a sunny day. Eat a sweetheart.

Don't call me a sweetheart.

Yeah,

There's more violence in this cul-de-sac than the

entire city of New York.

It's not funny. You were hurt.
Tell me what happened.

I don't know what happened.
I just walked through the door

and she attacked me like a wild animal.

I just don't understand why Riley would hit you.

Are you defending her? No, I'm not.

I just, I thought you were
gonna get home later on tonight.

Nothing happened besides
getting sucker punched when I

walked through the door, baby, I'm sorry.

I don't want you to be sorry.

I want you to go full by Karen
and get her out of the house.

Excuse me, mom. Okay. Full black hair.

And it is, I can't believe that door hit me.

Were you bullying? Ri what?

You heard me. Were you

and your friends giving Riley a hard time?

It wasn't exactly me. Okay. Okay.

And what exactly does that mean?

It means I didn't know they were like that.

And when they started to bully Riley,

I started to see things different.

And you didn't think to say anything.

Have you ever been in high
school? That's not how it works.

Mom. If you were having
problems with your friends,

why couldn't you just talk to me about it?

Or your aunt, someone
to speak with someone Mom who?

Riley has something she wants to say. Riley,

I'm sorry I hit you.

It's cool. Whatever. No, it's not cool.

Whatever hitting is wrong.

Yeah, I know. Dad just told me that.

He did. He

apologized for telling me to use my fist

and suggest, face my words instead.

And I'm sorry too.

I didn't know you're Shannon's daughter.

Hey, you don't follow me on the gram,

No offense.

But watching an old man
do TikTok dances is not my thing.

And I didn't know they would bully you,

but when speaking with Shannon, you spoke

to Shannon mom.

Like I was saying, he told me like,

I shouldn't hang around girls like that.

And he was right.

Can't have some good ideas.

He is cool when he is
not trying to be a TikTok star.

True. You should really give him a chance.

He talks about you all the time.

He does. Have you seen
the room he set up for you?

I can show you.

Okay. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. What just happened here?

They worked out their problems

With a little help from you.

Eh? I was trying to be modest, but yeah.

Dad, are you coming?

Thank You. Bye-bye. Uhhuh. Uh, hi.

You know you don't work here, right?

Relax. I come in peace. Full Wayne Brady vibes.

I promise I'm gonna do better.

You seem zen today. Did you get some?

No. And I'm always zen.

I saw the vice principal gate.

Oh, Shannon is gonna donate
sports equipment to the school

and they're gonna look the other way.

Yes. I saw the post. You did good.

Thank you. Now don't kill me.

I want you to keep your zen vibe going. Okay?

So I am gonna need a few more days

to find Shannon a place to live.

It's just because, you know, he wants

to be in the neighborhood
and if we're kicking him out,

I at least wanna be accommodating.

You know what I'm saying? Right. Right.

I mean, the money is fast and good.

You don't have to rush. Take your time.

Excuse me. I'm just saying.

I know it's gonna take time, so it's, it's fine.

Oh, you like him?

No. Yeah. That is not the reason. Uhhuh.

Yeah, yeah. No, I get it. I get it.

I mean, single man, one child, former athlete.

Oh, I'm so happy for you. Stop

Being happy. There

is nothing to be pleased about.
Look, I'm just saying.

I get it. That is not code for anything.

It's just saying I know it's gonna take time.

Girl, you don't get anything.

You are the queen of impatience and you are okay.

No, don't, do not call me the black Karen.

That didn't come to mind. But it's actually

a really fitting description.

Okay, bye.

Oh, she definitely likes them.

No, I don't. You're

Wrong.

Yeah, we'll see about that.

So you like the hardwood floors?

And in here, as you can see,
we've updated the countertops.

Appliances are decent and
the neighborhood is on the cusp.

The cusp. The cusp of what?

An armed robbery resulting
in multiple gunshot wounds.

Okay. That was an isolated incident. Mm.

Okay. Well, was the, uh,

the little explosion lab thingy isolated too?

I don't watch the news.

I just try to stay focused
on positivity in my space.

You know, I'm the same way.
So I, we here, we here,

you know, but you, you did a great job.

You really did do a great
job updating this beautiful house.

It's the best looking
one on the block in the hood.

That's what it really is though.

Okay. It's the hood. Look, I get it.

The neighborhood is changing.

We just need someone to be bold to press forward

to throw caution to the wind. Caution

To the wind. Okay.

Yeah. Can you smell that crack smoke in the wind?

'cause it's strong.

I look, if your client rents the house,

I'll give you two months free rent

and a target gift card.

Ooh, you pulling out all your big

guns, no pun intended.

Uh, we'll take anyone. We need a tenant.

We're drowning here.

Look, I know you drowning,
but honey, drink some dry gin.

That'll just suck it all up.

All your sorrows, because guess what?

The price is too high
to be in this war zone. Okay.

And if I'm bringing in my people, my clients, oh,

you best believe I'm gonna get compensated

for the inherent risk to life and limb.

Oh, are you proposing

Four months free rent with
first and last month deposit.

Okay. See, now I'm feeling
safe and secure in my skin.

Yes. See, now we talking.

I got some gray skin. Look at that. Bam.

Yeah. Jazzy hands. Woo.

So you'll take it For the price.

Who would say no to steal
from a desperate man on his knees?

Now get up. You look. Come

On. Oh, you won't

regret this.

I, I promise that pretty
soon the gunshot sounds will

actually become therapeutic.

You know, it's like you get into the rhythm.

Blam, blam, blam, blam,

Blam. No.

Okay.

If I'm gonna be here, it has

to be some homeowner association
or a bake tail, honey.

'cause I'm not laying
this pretty head here. Uhuh.

Got it. So, um, who is your clients?

Who's my client? Who's my
client? Are you ready for this?

I'm ready. Shannon Ramsey,

The washed up basketball star

party Animal Horror monger.

Playboy property. Trasher.

Yeah. Yeah. That's him. But property trasher.

Oh, that is so funny.

He only burned down just one little hotel.

I mean, it's a hotel.

Never What?

Goodbye. This is Shannon Ram.

So long

Sick

Service.

What happened to

don't

that

don't, I'm,

I'm, I'm.

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