All language subtitles for Bonus Dad s01e01 Homecoming.eng

This is it.

Uh, it looks a little bit
different since I was last here,

but this is our new home. We're like

A prison.

No, not like a prison. I grew up

Here and I was growing up
in New York around my friends.

Yeah. With friends like those

you would've ended up in prison.

Mom. Is Brett the only language that comes outta

that pretty little mouth of yours?

I'm also fluent and sarcasm. Smart Alec.

Oh, and your favorite clap backs.

Okay. Keep talking and you're gonna get a

crash course in backhand.

Okay, babe, this is gonna be good for us.
Okay. A new start.

Your aunt and I have so many memories here.

So many great ones.

So far all my memories here have been boring.

You have literally been
here for three minutes. Yeah.

Three long boring minutes, mom.

Okay. Maybe we need a little
bit of boring in our lives.

You're gonna be going to
my old high school King High.

It is the best school
in the state and okay. Hello.

I'm talking. It's close enough
so you can even walk. Yeah.

And it's safe neighborhood.

There's, I've never even
seen a police car over here. Oh.

And maybe you can join
the cheerleading team. Oh yeah.

And meet a nice guy. Oh.

And friends that don't have criminal records

or tattoos and become

A mini you.

Yeah, no thanks.

You used to love being a mini me.

What about the pageants

and the shopping sprees
all in the ballet classes?

You were so adorable. Don't you miss that? No.

I miss your 12 hour work days. Oh.

And your sympathy gifts
for working 12 hour work days.

Okay. I'm done.

Being a bad mom from this point on it's family

first. It's okay.

I like you being a bad mom.
Don't stop on my account.

I'm doing all of this for you.

Did you? Because moving
across country at a moment's

notice feels like this has a lot to do with you.

Okay? I know that this all happened really fast,

but please just allow me to show you around

before you completely revolt.

I promise. No more surprises.

Uh, mom. Surprise. Ah,

Is this what you meant by a quiet neighborhood?

No matter what may bring

blessings,

Is he dead? Of

Course not.

He looks dead and you don't look traumatized.

No more horror movies from you.

And I'm cutting your screen time.

You are a freaking murderer.

And I get banned from TikTok. So not fair.

He's not dead. Please don't be dead.

Hello. 9 1 1. Mom.

Wow, that was fast. This
must be a white neighborhood,

Uh, Officer. This man right here,

That man's in the all time top 10 point guards in

the history of the league.

Two time assist leader, nine time all star

finals champion and MVP

of basketball. God,

I say top six. At

least the top 10 is a humble compromise.

Well, you always were
just a little bit undersized,

but I can't believe it.

Shannon Ramsey standing
right here in front of me.

No, a criminal is standing
right here in front of you.

You don't know who I am. Anyone

that has a Twitter knows who you are.

You're a Playboy. A party
animal and a media w***e.

You are like the Lamar Odom of Dennis Rods.

You sound like an obsessed fan. Yeah.

And you look like a guy who's a tired walking

reality show waiting to happen.

They already called. I turned it down.

Officer, are you gonna make an arrest?

Yes ma'am. I am. Hmm. What me?

How are you arresting Me?

I gotta call that two suspicious people were

seen entering this residence.

Two suspicious people. No. What about him?

Hey, don't put me in this officer.

You let me know if you need a written statement.

Sure thing, champ. I cannot

believe what I'm witnessing.

This is an outrage. Devin. Record this.

Sorry mom, you cut my screen time. Remember?

And what were you saying about

Me going to prison?

Davin, this is not one of your YouTube shows.

This is serious. I don't wanna go to jail. Wait,

You think I should have won Ricky the year?

Absolutely. Montes Kressley is overrated. He

Had a horrible jump shot. He doesn't

Even have a three point game. He

Was like a backup point guard.

But he is NBA leader in rookie scoring.
I I mean you were

Robbed. No,

we were robbed. Okay. He doesn't belong here.

I can't believe what I'm witnessing.
This is an outrage.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's get going. You too young lady.

Me mom. Soon as you always do, you always

Get Whoa, whoa. Hey,

what's going on here?

Tangy. Can you please explain to this soon

to be fired police officer who I am?

Yeah. This is my sister

who hasn't been back here in six years

and I haven't heard from in months.

Mm. I've text mm-hmm.

Group texting and responding
LOL at people's memes and does

Not count. Tangy.

This is not the time for this.

So she doesn't live here.

Oh no. She lives in New York,

but um, he, Hey, he lives here.

What? Wait, take these

Handcuffs off me so I can kill her.

Ooh.

I am so sorry about the confusion Officer.

Me and my sister have a lot to discuss.

There's nothing to apologize for.

This has been the best day of my life. Wow.

Shannon Ramsey in my district.

The guys will never believe this.

You really think I'm better than Montez Presley.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

Yeah. Who cares? And you
said we have a lot to discuss,

so let's discuss Yeah.

Alone.

Shannon. Hi. Can I get a minute real quick

And then you'll leave.

Fine next time.

Take your shoes off before
you enter someone's house.

I know where to put my shoes. Oh,

Mia. That's

a stiletto.

Yes. He tried to have me arrested.

She tased me. You Broke into our house. Broke

In. I live here.

You

Don't live in my daddy's house. Okay.

Hey everyone, let's just calm down. Shannon.

Let me handle this. Okay?

For the record, your book card is worth more

than s Presley's.

I like this kid. Devin, go to your room. I don't

Have a room, mom.

It's my old room upstairs.
Second door on the left.

That's my new game room.

What? You turned my old bedroom into a man cave.

Whoa. Okay, you man. Cave Shannon out.

You Hello. Sit down.

What the hell is going on

First? Calm

down. Okay. Secondly, hi.

Haven't seen you in six years. Yeah.

Last but not least, explain yourself why you just

popped up unannounced.

Well, first I have a first and secondly,

and last

but not least, I would like
to get it off my chest too Tan.

Uhhuh. Of course you do.

What the heck does that even mean?

It means that first there is a strange

man living in our house.

And secondly, I mean, you
know, my life is complicated.

And last but not least,

there is a strange man living in my bedroom.

Like you never had a strange man

sleep in your bedroom before. Come on now.

I'm serious. Fine. All right.

I have been Airbnb the house for over a year.

Why? Uh, I don't know. Money.

The mortgage can't pay for itself. Mia.

But dad said he paid the house off years ago.

Yeah, he did pay it off. Then what happened?

You did your divorce.

Where do you think he got that money

to pay that fancy lawyer?

Yours. Huh?

Dad got a second mortgage

And since I wanna keep the house.

Yeah, I rent it out from time to time.

Well, unre it then I'll pay for it.

He paid it up for the whole year.

How could you let this happen?

I think I just explained how this happened.

Well then what am I supposed to do?

Relax. You can just stay with me.

I mean, we've lived under
the same roof for 18 years. Okay.

Fair warning. I do have a very small

one bedroom, bathroom, condo.

So

A one bedroom for one
Person and I enjoy my oneness.

Oh. But I guess we can
work it out for a few days.

I mean, it may be longer than a few days.

Okay. How much longer? A little bit longer.

Mia. How much longer?

Well, maybe until Davin
graduates a little longer. You

Are moving back.

Surprised. When did you decide this

Last night.

Okay. And I was branded the wild child. Okay.

You, you have not changed.

Yeah. And neither has Davin.

I mean, she got expelled from school.

My niece, the little prissy ballerina. Yeah.

A lot has changed in the past six years

and she's getting into fights,

hanging out with the wrong crowd.

I just thought coming home would be good for her.

This house was always good to us.

Just why didn't you call Mia?

What? And tell you I'm a terrible

mother and I lost my job. You

Lost your job too.

Yeah, I, I was getting to that part.

I know I'm the big sister
and you looked up to me.

That was a phase, a very short phase.

Dad would be so disappointed in me.

Well, this definitely tops the story

with Cory Harris trying to sneak into my bedroom.

That's for sure.

Better be glad it was my bedroom

that he snuck into and not yours.

I'm supposed to be the
one that has it all together.

Picture perfect family, perfect marriage,

flashy condo in New York.

Great marketing job. Now look at me.

Divorcee raising a brat with no place to live.

All because my marketing
job got replaced by an app. No.

Hey, good.

I am one of the best realtors in the city. Okay?

So I'm sure I can just talk to Shannon

and ask him to find another place to live.

I got you sis.

Why aren't you rubbing this in my face?

I haven't been the best sister to you.

Yeah, let's just call it even for Cory Harris.

I love you.

Hey, pass me that.

So where you going

Back to New York?

I called an Uber.

I don't think an Uber's
gonna take you back to New York.

A cab took fresh Prince from Philly all the way

to Bel Air a cab.

Good luck with that kid.
I saw you shooting earlier.

You got a good shot play for your school.

No, my mom wouldn't let me.

That's too bad. You got a good shot.

And that's coming from a
top six point guard of all time.

Robbed of rookie of the year.

So nice shot. So that's it.

You're not gonna try and stop me?

Nope. And you're not gonna tell my mom?

Nope. I get it.

This is some sort of reverse psychology thing.

It's not gonna work on me buddy.

Man, I went to school for three years.

I studied physical education.

Never can have too many gym teachers.

I say that every day. Think that's my Uber.

Okay, So that's it.

I'm just gonna let me get an Uber and leave.

You are not gonna try and stop me.

I don't know you, But you are an adult.

You look like a smart kid.

You were smart enough to know

how much my rookie card was worth.

Me and my daddy used to
watch all your games growing up.

He's the only one who ever understood me.

Is that where you're going?
My dad lives in Europe.

He chose some stupid job over me.

What kind of jerk does something like that?

Me? I'm the kind of jerk
that does something like that.

You're not about assuming
you're my dad or something.

No, but I have a daughter that goes to King

and ever since retiring, I'm doing everything in

my power to be a part of her life.

Including moving her to
some boring cookie cutter suburb.

Especially that part. You know,

as parents we can do some
irrational, selfish things.

As long as your mother's
not doing anything selfish,

I'd cut her some slack if I were you.

I see what you're doing. You are doing the

cognitive empathy psychology thing.

Hey, I dated a few psychiatrist in my day.

Well just stay with me for tonight. Okay?

That'll gimme some time to figure out how Matt,

tell Shannon he has to leave. You

Can't do that.

Uh, What are you doing with him?

It doesn't matter. You can't kick Shannon out.

It's not fair.

Not fair. I can explain.
I'm talking to my daughter.

Thank you Deon.

Go up to your room and I'll
talk to you later. Young lady.

I'll just sneak out the back.

Ooh, the bedroom window.

The Thom women are drawn
to it like a mo to a flame.

Mom. Un you can't kick him out,

Baby. It's complicated.

It's not. He moved here
to be closer to his daughter

and if he moves again, even
if it's just down the street,

it can mess it all up.

How do you know all of this?

Um, I was going back to New York.

Shannon convinced me not to run away.

I was team captain. I managed drama.
It's my thing.

You can't kick him out. Well,

maybe we don't have to kick anyone out.

Tangie hear me out.

What if you guys stay here

in the same house together?

I have a daughter. Okay.

And I'm not moving my
family in with a man like this.

Well, I don't wanna live with a

woman who can't control her daughter. Oh no.

He did it. He went there. Yeah,

I did. I went straight there.

If you throw 'em out, I'll run away every day.

Well that doesn't really sound like the

worst idea ever. Tonight

It's worse than moving us to mayonnaise v

Devin, take this.

Grown folk need to talk.

But, but if you make 10 in a row,

I'll tell you about the
time I blocked LeBron's shot

in the celebrity basketball game.

She doesn't really like basketball like that.

Did he really block his shot?

It was on NBA 2K, but it was still iconic.

What Kind of sorcery is this?

Oh, this is perfect. You need a place to stay

and Daven is already benefiting
from his influence.

So, and you, your image is in the toilet.

And I know why you need this house.
My sister can help you.

She's a marketer.

Why would I hire her? I
could hire anyone in the world.

Well, luckily for you, she's

available and she'll do it for free.

I don't work for free. Oh, you will.

If you wanna live in this
house, it's my house too.

Technically not for the next year.

And I can have you evicted.

For what? What does it matter?

You clearly didn't read
the lease agreement anyways.

Look, come on. I already checked

his criminal background records.

He's good. This is like living in an Airbnb.

You live on one side of the house.

Shannon will be on the other.

Yeah, she likes basketball.

She's pretty good. You can really

clean up my image in the press.

I'm the best. She's the best. Mm-hmm.

You both need this house
for your own personal reasons.

So what do you say?

Do you wanna have a relationship?

Taking my,

Where I'm going, I'm taking my

Time

Seeing people always in circles.

The what happened to purpose.

Don't,

Don't tell that.

Not

Don't Purpose.

I'm taking my

Feels. Right.

Living In the,

I'm.

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