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1
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:11,075
♪♪
2
00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:20,753
Aah! Aah!
3
00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:29,694
♪♪
4
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:34,366
Aah! Aah!
5
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,834
[ clang ]
ohh!
6
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,102
Ow! Ohh!
7
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:38,971
[ sizzling ]
aaaaah!
8
00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:44,109
Who put that there, man?
9
00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:48,113
Ohh!
10
00:01:04,131 --> 00:01:05,998
♪ gimme the mic,
I'm gonna fight ya ♪
11
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,333
♪ gonna fight ya,
gonna fight ya ♪
12
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:10,335
♪ gimme the mic,
I'm gonna fight ya ♪
13
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:13,938
♪ gonna fight ya,
gonna fight ya, fight ya ♪
14
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:15,574
[ applause ]
check this out.
15
00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:24,749
There's no such thing
as coincidence.
16
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:28,887
You didn't stumble
upon this show by accident.
17
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:32,357
Ah, ah, ahhh!
18
00:01:36,831 --> 00:01:38,563
Life...
[inhales deeply]
19
00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:39,431
...Is an illusion.
20
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,033
Hey, man.
Drink that candle.
21
00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:42,767
The beginning...
22
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,102
A conclusion.
23
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,838
[ slurps ] argh!
24
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:46,905
Man: Yeah!
25
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:48,973
Welcome to sexy season six.
26
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,843
[bleep] you.
27
00:01:50,845 --> 00:01:53,112
I regret
giving birth to you.
28
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,648
[southern accent] howdy, y'all.
I'm a goober driver.
29
00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:00,719
Do you mind
sitting in the back?
30
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,521
How you doing?
Pretty good.
31
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:03,988
Now, you need a charger?
Uh...
32
00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:05,657
A charger?
Yeah.
33
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:08,360
Hey, buster brown.
Check out my booger collection.
34
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,998
I have a little bit
of sugar in a bag,
35
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,067
Got some corn syrup...
36
00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:19,604
Drink this stuff
straight up.
37
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:20,605
Why?
38
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,574
[ gulps ] mm.
I'm from america.
39
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:27,345
Oh, shit, my cajun
dispatcher's calling me.
40
00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:33,685
[ tires squealing ]
whoo-whee!
41
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:36,555
[ laughs ]
I told you I could do it!
42
00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:43,695
Oh, dang, I dropped
all my skittles.
43
00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:44,829
Hey, stop, stop,
stop, stop!
44
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,833
Is you doin' that
or is it me?
45
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,835
-Stop!
-Stop!
46
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,104
Goober!
[ radio beeps ]
47
00:02:58,445 --> 00:02:59,778
Wait, wait, wait.
No, no.
48
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:00,913
That's not safe.
That's not safe.
49
00:03:00,915 --> 00:03:02,114
Stop!
Put on your brake!
50
00:03:02,116 --> 00:03:03,448
I want to go in the back
with you.
51
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:04,449
No, just -- stop!
52
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,886
No! Stop!
53
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,457
♪ goober driver, dang dun' do ♪
54
00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:14,259
♪♪
55
00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:15,394
Oh, oh, oh!
56
00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:17,862
Our next guest
started in porn.
57
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:20,132
Mia khalifa!
58
00:03:21,135 --> 00:03:23,669
Get yo' black ass out here,
girl!
59
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,538
Mia, mia,
pumpkin eatah.
60
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,941
Had a wife,
but couldn't khalifa.
61
00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:31,543
Mia, thank you
for being here.
62
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,278
Want some lotion?
63
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,147
Mm, you first.
64
00:03:35,149 --> 00:03:36,949
You gotta moisturize
your insides.
65
00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:40,018
[ gasps ] no!
66
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,353
[ gulps ]
67
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:43,355
Oh, it's rough.
68
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,357
[ sniffs ]
oh!
69
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:46,759
Well, you're
a professional.
70
00:03:47,762 --> 00:03:49,628
You're a staunch
anti-masker.
71
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:51,029
No, I'm not.
72
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,164
That's what it said
in my notes.
73
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:53,298
That's not true.
74
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:54,432
It said it online.
No.
75
00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:56,434
Do not spread
malicious rumors like that.
76
00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,503
I'm not an anti-masker.
It says right here
in my notes
77
00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:01,706
That you're anti-mask.
I'm triple vaxxed.
78
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:03,842
I saw one of those
sex ed videos you did.
79
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,110
[ audience awws ]
sure, I learned a ton,
80
00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:06,911
But what high school
is buying those?
81
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:07,980
Oh. Ohh.
82
00:04:07,982 --> 00:04:10,315
You were a muslim woman
in a porno.
83
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:12,785
And then isis threatened
to charlie hebdo you.
84
00:04:12,787 --> 00:04:13,786
[ laughs ] yeah.
85
00:04:13,788 --> 00:04:15,654
And then you
tweeted back at isis,
86
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:18,190
"you can take this hijab
and shove it."
87
00:04:18,192 --> 00:04:19,924
I did not!
[ laughing ] how did you
come up with that?
88
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,059
I did not!
89
00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,927
[bleep]
you're gonna get me killed!
90
00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:27,732
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
91
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:30,935
Hey! Help me!
92
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,737
Excuse me. Can you help me?
Come on over!
Need a hand?
93
00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:35,540
I'm short-staffed, and I've got
to get him to the van.
94
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:37,209
I just need you
to help me out with him.
95
00:04:37,211 --> 00:04:39,211
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa!
96
00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:40,345
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
97
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:42,280
[ horns honking ]
uh! Ooh!
98
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,615
Grab that!
99
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:46,218
Grab --
hold his hand.
Why?
100
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,821
I'm sorry, man.
It's my first day as an ems.
101
00:04:48,823 --> 00:04:50,088
Hold this upright.
102
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:53,425
Oh, jesus.
His taurine levels are low.
103
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,760
-Taurine him.
-His what?
104
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:57,095
No, you shouldn't
even do that.
105
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,096
Aah!
106
00:04:58,098 --> 00:04:59,898
Putting monster
in this thing.
107
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,834
[ blows landing ]
right in the balls, dude.
108
00:05:01,836 --> 00:05:03,235
Can you help me?
I-I can't.
109
00:05:03,237 --> 00:05:05,037
I'm not trained for that.
Can you [bleep] help me?
110
00:05:05,039 --> 00:05:06,371
Or are you just
gonna stand there?
111
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:07,972
Look, I'm telling you,
I'm not trained for that.
112
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,574
Jesus.
Whoa, whoa!
113
00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,443
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
114
00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:14,312
Oh, shit.
[ man groaning ]
115
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,249
Shit. Help me, man!
Do something, man.
I'm gonna call 911.
116
00:05:17,251 --> 00:05:18,583
I am 911!
117
00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:20,252
I just need
my heart medication.
118
00:05:20,254 --> 00:05:21,319
Ohh! Ohh!
119
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,454
Why are you taking
the medication?
120
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,122
Well, I got to take them
'cause I'm nervous.
121
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:25,390
So, what do you want me
to help you do?
122
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:26,525
Get him in here!
Alright.
123
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:28,527
The guy's a mess.
Help! Help! Help us!
124
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:29,794
Help us, help us!
125
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:31,196
Press on his chest.
Press on his chest.
126
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:32,797
I've got to give him cpr.
I just need my heart medica--
127
00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:35,934
Ah, god!
Making these paddles too long!
128
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:37,602
Don't you die on me!
Clear!
129
00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:40,673
I don't know
what the [bleep] I'm doing.
130
00:05:40,675 --> 00:05:42,607
Hold his hand.
Hold his hand.
131
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:45,009
Say a prayer.
Massage his scalp or something!
132
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,079
What, why do you want me
to massage his head?
133
00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:48,346
Lift his legs!
What's going on?
134
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,948
Oh!
135
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,217
Sir, it's against the law
to interfere with
a medical operation.
136
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,618
No, we're not interfering.
He's asked us for help.
137
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:54,887
Yeah, he's asking us
for help.
138
00:05:54,889 --> 00:05:56,488
No, I don't know these guys!
They're strangers.
139
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,356
You asked me to help you!
I did not ask you to help!
140
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,558
Does this guy
look helped?
141
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:03,762
Look, he's drinking blood.
I'm [bleep] starving!
142
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:04,697
Announcer:
"I'm not trained for that!"
143
00:06:04,699 --> 00:06:05,698
Only on fox.
144
00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:07,165
Woman:
I'm not trained for that!
145
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,366
Don't call him steve urkel.
146
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,434
He's sick of it.
147
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:10,835
Jaleel white.
148
00:06:13,107 --> 00:06:14,506
What's up, wild man?
149
00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:19,711
-What's up, man?
-Good to see you.
150
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,380
-Urkel.
-Huh?
-Urkel.
151
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,047
-[as urkel] did I do that?
-Yeah!
152
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:27,319
Now, jaleel
shaquille o'neal white!
153
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:31,924
I heard that steve urkel's
just your larry king impression?
154
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:35,928
Now, you're 420-friendly.
155
00:06:35,930 --> 00:06:37,730
I'm chill, man, I don't --
I don't want any problems, man.
156
00:06:37,732 --> 00:06:39,197
No, no problem.
We're not cops.
157
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:40,599
Ah, you know...
It's legal now.
158
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,534
I'm starving, man.
I'm on this weird diet.
159
00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,136
What the hell
is going on, man?
160
00:06:44,138 --> 00:06:46,138
[ laughing ] wild!
Oh, amazing.
161
00:06:46,140 --> 00:06:48,407
[ audience oohs ]
mmm!
162
00:06:50,144 --> 00:06:52,277
These things take time.
You know what I mean?
163
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:53,278
There you go.
164
00:06:59,754 --> 00:07:01,085
My man!
165
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,154
Tastes like ass.
166
00:07:02,156 --> 00:07:04,489
-[ gulping ]
-now you're starting something!
167
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:05,958
You want some turkey?
I can see it now.
168
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,359
You got a whole turkey
under there?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
169
00:07:07,361 --> 00:07:08,961
Oh, man, it's wild.
170
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,897
[ alarm beeping ]
oh, shit.
171
00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:16,168
Man, no, no, no,
no, no, no!
172
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:18,303
Burnt!
Ah, shit.
173
00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:19,972
Whoa!
174
00:07:19,974 --> 00:07:21,306
That turkey
wasn't that color
175
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:22,775
When he opened it
the first time.
176
00:07:22,777 --> 00:07:24,376
Felipe:
Got to buy a new timer.
177
00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:25,510
The turkey was not
that color.
178
00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:27,446
I think it's like
a slow and low at 350,
179
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,314
And I cranked it up
to 500.
180
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:30,315
This a scary set.
181
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:31,916
And it really smell burnt
up here now.
182
00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:33,117
Okay?
183
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,187
I burned it.
I'm sorry.
Hey, are you okay?
184
00:07:35,189 --> 00:07:36,521
[ bell tolls ]
185
00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:37,522
He's dialed in.
186
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:38,791
I think --
[ clattering ]
187
00:07:38,793 --> 00:07:39,792
Aw, shit.
188
00:07:39,794 --> 00:07:40,793
Come on, player.
189
00:07:40,795 --> 00:07:42,527
Come on, player.
Come on, player.
190
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:45,664
Sorry, he's --
our boom guy.
It's alright.
191
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:46,931
You're making
the guests uncomfortable.
192
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:49,067
He's a little strung-out,
you know, it's not his fault.
193
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,336
Get out of here.
You're high.
194
00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:53,806
My bad.
[ applause ]
195
00:07:53,808 --> 00:07:54,939
Now, you met bill clinton.
196
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:56,941
Chair: Don't put your leg
on me, man!
197
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:00,612
Oh, man.
All day!
198
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,080
Come on, man. We good.
We good, man?
199
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,215
We good?
200
00:08:03,217 --> 00:08:05,217
What -- what we doing, man?
201
00:08:05,219 --> 00:08:06,751
What a powerful chair.
202
00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:08,553
Oh.
You're good.
203
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:10,154
This is a different
kind of show, man.
204
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,289
That chair is chill.
205
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:14,426
Hey, jaleel.
You look like an actor.
206
00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:17,162
Ah, you know...
Let me help you,
touch you up.
207
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:21,766
What you wiping
on me, dawg?
208
00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:23,768
Some good stuff.
209
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,838
Here, you need
a little powder too.
210
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,308
What you --
what you doing, dawg?
211
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:33,311
I'm powdering you up,
taking that shine off.
212
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,780
Eric: You're a little sweaty.
I'm a little sweaty?
213
00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:38,116
Yeah, he's dumbing down
your shine.
214
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,384
I don't want to be
looking crazy.
215
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:41,119
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's making you look better.
216
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,655
I know I look crazy now.
No, no, you look great.
217
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:45,057
-You're like idris elba.
-You look beautiful.
218
00:08:45,059 --> 00:08:46,391
-Yeah, yeah.
-I'm not going out like that.
219
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:47,992
You look real pretty,
though.
220
00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:49,461
Eric: Yeah.
You know what?
221
00:08:49,463 --> 00:08:52,997
You can jerk off anything
on this set to completion.
222
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:54,666
What?
Like, look.
223
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,203
Isn't that crazy?
224
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,939
Every single thing on this set.
Look at this one.
225
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,006
Oh, not that one.
226
00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:04,276
Yeah. There you go.
There you go.
227
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,549
Look at this one.
Huge...
228
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:20,759
♪♪
229
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:30,502
♪♪
230
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,506
Don't take my customers.
[ man groaning ]
231
00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:35,874
[bleep] is the matter
with you?
232
00:09:39,313 --> 00:09:41,179
Hey, you saw nothing, okay?
Here, here, here.
233
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,515
Here's a dollar.
Here. Here's a dollar, here.
234
00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:45,351
Ma'am, you saw nothing.
235
00:09:46,921 --> 00:09:48,653
I still see nothing.
236
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:50,188
That's right.
[ siren chirps ]
237
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:52,190
Excuse me, ma'am.
Did you see this?
238
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:54,727
You alright? Just take it easy.
Don't try to move too much.
239
00:09:54,729 --> 00:09:56,328
[ radio beeps ]
yeah, dispatcher, I got a --
240
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,199
I don't [bleep] around
with anybody.
241
00:10:03,938 --> 00:10:06,671
I'll steal this [bleep]
cop's wallet.
242
00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:08,340
I get mines.
You know what I mean?
243
00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:09,874
Oh, yeah, baby.
244
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:17,149
Announcer:
Only on buskerzz!
245
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:29,161
Hey, do you think scottie pippen
looks like osama bin laden?
246
00:10:29,163 --> 00:10:31,429
Ooh! Ooh!
A little bit,
if you dressed him up.
247
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:34,299
I've seen crazier things.
I can imagine...
248
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,500
Yeah.
[ applause ]
249
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:38,971
Whoa, it's penis
and sir weiner williams.
250
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:42,374
Wow.
251
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:48,380
♪♪
252
00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:50,582
We're ready for wimbledon.
253
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:54,252
It's penis and sir weiner
williams --
254
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:56,188
No, I heard you, bro.
You got it? You got it?
255
00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:57,656
I heard you, bro.
256
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,926
I've got next.
257
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:03,595
Them niggas really
didn't have no drawers on.
16667
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