Original subtitles

The human mind: who knows

what secrets it holds?

Today, I, Dr.Skull Boy, will

find out with the pumpernickel

test.

Oh man, I didn't know there

was gonna be a test.

It's not that kind of test,

Len.

Frank is right, Len.

It is a test made from bread!

I have here-- a simple sandwich

which can tell us things about

ourselves that we might never

know.

Like where I put my first aid

kit?

No, Misery.

Like why it is you lost the

first aid kit in the first

place.

Oh, okay then.

Misery, what do you see in

this strange shape?

Oh, this is easy.

That's--

[Skull Boy screaming]

A pile of ashes.

Frank, Len, how 'bout you?

Oh wow, I know what that

reminds me of: one of those, oh

you know, sandwich thingies.

Peanut butter and egg!

No Len, that's not it.

That's just gross.

Yes, well, um, Miss Ruby,

what do you make of this

innocent luncheon leftover?

Well, actually Skull Boy, I

see, um--

Ya?

They seem to be hearts.

Hearts?

Uh, artichoke hearts.

Yum!

Anyone else hungry?

No.

No.

Nope.

Well, yes, okay.

There you have it.

Uh, artichoke hearts?

Oh, good day.

?

? So today we're gonna

? Take the time to show you

? The br-br-bright side

of the dark side ?

? Only think you oughta

? No you really gotta

? See the br-br-bright side

of the dark side ?

? Ruby Gloom Ruby Gloom

?

? We're gonna show you why

? There's more than

meets the eye ?

? The br-br-bright side

of the dark side ?

? Only think you oughta

? No you really gotta

? See the br-br-bright side

of the dark side ?

? Ruby Gloom Ruby Gloom

? Ruby Gloom Ruby Gloom

?

?

Well, this is all so-- so

nice.

[Poe laughing]

Yes, very nice indeed.

Yeah.

Very, very nice.

Mm hm, nice.

Yes, it's nice.

It's so nice--

I'm going crazy!

Did I scream that out loud?

Well, I know I could use some

excitement.

Yeah.

Me too.

Yes.

Did someone-- I say, did

someone mention the word

excitement?

Ladies and gentlemen,

presenting Gilbert and his

Fabulous Flying Flea!

[Fleas chattering]

[Flea screaming]

[Disgruntled chattering]

Well, we're working on the

ending.

We'll be ready in time for the

big show.

You can count on that.

Are you putting on a show,

Skull Boy?

I've come to realize that I

must be related to the great

showman, PT Cranium.

The famous circus master.

Exactly.

So I decided to put on the

Gloomsville Pet Circus and

Talent Extravaganza.

Pet Circus?

What a great idea.

Oh, excellent.

Len, we better start training

our pet.

Yeah.

Ha ha!

Squig'll be over the moon!

And I mean that.

I'll have the dust bunnies

ready to go--

I hope.

They've been a little surly of

late.

Wow, Doom.

This'll be a great challenge.

Yeah, I'm sure we're up to it.

Right?

Oh, good idea Doom.

You rest up and I'll go figure

out the act.

Good luck with your pet, Poe.

Yes, right, my pet.

Oh, dear.

Now, I know what you're

thinking, Squig: "Is this trick

too simple for my talents?"

Well, that's why you're going to

do it blindfolded!

Oh my goodness, what a pet

trick that will be.

And Squig is so obliging.

Not bad for an extremely large

worm.

Hm.

Excuse me, have you ever

considered life as a pet?

[Screaming]

I'll take that as a no.

Now then, pay attention

everybody.

I'm sure we're all familiar with

the siege of Thermopylae, right?

[Chattering]

You will be the savage Spartans

defending their homeland.

Think you can handle that?

Oh, well how 'bout that.

I guess you can.

Now let's see if we can do

Hannibal crossing the Alps.

Oh, those dust bunnies are

amazing.

And there are so many of them.

Misery surely won't miss just

one.

Oh.

Now where were we you clever,

cute little--

Achoo!

This could be a problem.

Gilbert?

Guys?

Where are you?

See Doom?

A nice sardine.

All you have to do is rehearse.

Not hungry, huh?

Hey, I've got a fun idea.

Look, fetch.

Hey, don't worry, I'll get it.

Oh, hi Poe.

Doom Kitty and I are doing some,

um, training.

Ah, looks like things are

coming along well for the big

show.

You bet.

How's your pet doing?

Uh, I have something of a

delicate nature to tell you,

Ruby.

I, um--

You see, your Doom Kitty there

is a truly wonderful pet and why

you and she--

Yes, friends to the end and,

um--

Poe, are you trying to tell

me you don't have a pet, you've

never had a pet, and you would

really like to have a pet now?

Um, yes.

Wow, I can't believe you

never had a pet, Poe.

You would make a great pet

partner.

Ah yes, undoubtedly.

But alas, it was not to be.

Why I remember life as a young

bird.

There was no room for a pet,

really.

Please sir, may I have a pet?

MAN: No!

RUBY: Well, that, um,

certainly must have been awful.

Well, perhaps it wasn't

quite as bad as all that.

Yes, it certainly must be

wonderful to have a pet like

Doom: someone to love, to take

care of, to fetch things for me.

Or rather to fetch things for.

Look Poe, I'm sure we can

find you a pet just as clever as

Doom.

Do you really think so?

Of course.

Hey, since you like Doom so much

why don't you get a cat too?

Why that's a stellar idea,

Ruby.

But not a little cat.

No, no, no.

A cat that befits my abilities.

Yes, a big cat.

Ah yes, that's it: a great big

cat!

I say-- I say, Gilbert, son,

where are ya?

Who would have thought it

would be so hard to find the

right pet, Len?

Yeah, I forgot we didn't have

one.

Okay, let's look at the

basics.

What is a pet?

Okay, um, a pet is something

that you love and take a big

interest in, I guess.

That's it, Len!

You're a genius.

I am?

No, not technically.

But, listen.

Music!

Uh, I don't hear anything.

You stopped strumming.

No Len, rock music is what we

love and are interested in.

That's our pet.

Okay but we can't teach our

music to sit up or roll over,

Frank.

No Len, not rock music.

A rock; a pet rock!

Yep, this is the one all right.

What shall we call him?

How about Fluffy?

Wow, that is so weird.

That was my first idea too.

But now I'm thinking Rocko might

be better.

I like it: simple and to the

point.

Hey Poe, what do you think of

our new pet?

No time to talk now fellows.

I have to go and get my new pet.

Oh man, don't tell me Rocko

has fleas.

We better give him a flea

bath.

Gilbert, where are you!?

POE: Ah ha, at last my new,

dearest pet cat has arrived.

"Caution: big cat."

Well of course it's a big cat.

That's what I ordered, didn't I?

Can't really make this part out.

"Tigress Gargantuous."

Hm, must be his name.

Now, where are you?

Gosh, sure is dark in there

isn't it?

[Growling]

Tigress?

Oh my, you certainly are a big

one aren't you?

What on earth do you have in

your mouth?

Piano keys?

No, can't be.

They're too sharp for that.

Well, they must be-- teeth?

[Growling]

In hindsight I'd have to say

that the bird cat relationship

thing was doomed from the start.

Have you seen my monocle?

I think it's on top of your

head, Poe.

Ah yes, I often leave it

there to remind myself to, um--

So, what next?

Well, how about something,

you know, smaller than you?

Yes, excellent idea, Ruby.

How about Abner?

He's pretty small.

Yes, Abner!

Oh, but he'll have to do a

pretty huge trick to offset his

diminutive stature, you know.

Why, I have an idea.

Now for our own trick, Doom.

How about jumping?

Jump, Doom, jump!

Uh, I don't think the bath

helped much.

Well, he looks a lot better.

Yeah, it sure is great having

a pet, huh?

Kind of makes you feel good.

Well, inside anyway.

IRIS: Look out!

BOTH: Huh?

IRIS: Look up!

BOTH: Okay, then.

[Screaming]

[Crashing]

Squig, Squig, are you okay?

Oh, oh, thank goodness you're

all right.

Are you guys okay?

I think so.

Frank, where did Rocko go?

Rocko?

Oh my gosh, we dropped him!

[Frank and Len screaming]

FRANK: Rocko!

Rocko!

Rocko!

Rocko!

Uh, we'll just leave you guys

alone.

Hey Squig, wait up!

Now Abner, a souffl� is not a

terribly difficult dish to

prepare but it is very, very

impressive to see.

Watch closely.

First we take some butter--

Maybe making a cheese souffl�

was the wrong trick, Poe.

[Abner belching]

I'll never find a pet now!

Never!

In a million billion years will

I not find a pet.

Now Poe, don't exaggerate.

Never!

There's still plenty of time.

[Yawning]

[Sighing]

Oh, why do these things only

happen to me?

FRANK: Rocko!

Rocko!

Achoo!

Who's a good worm?

Here, Gilbert!

Achoo!

[Screaming]

Oh please little dust bunnies,

give it one more try--

for me.

I know it must be difficult with

me sneezing all the time and you

weighing, well, nothing really.

But, it's really--

How's it goin' guys?

Squig's working so hard I have

to get him some water.

I can't control my sneezing

long enough to rehearse.

Well, you could try covering

your nose with something like a

surgical mask.

That's a fantastic idea.

Ah-achoo!

[Dust bunnies screaming]

Sorry.

See ya.

I know I have a surgical mask

here somewhere.

Ah ha!

Okay guys, we're good to go.

Uh, guys?

He's gotta be in here

somewhere, Len.

Is this him?

Uh, don't think so.

Well, I think he's still

pretty good; maybe better than

Rocko even.

[Gasping]

There will never be another

Rocko, Len.

Oh yes there will.

And I will call him The Mighty

Feldspar.

Hey look, it's Rocko!

Hey boy, where ya been?

Ugh.

Bad Rocko!

Bad!

Well, I say out with the old

and in with the new.

The Mighty Feldspar should be

our new pet.

No way, Len.

We stick with Rocko.

There must be someway we can

decide this.

There is.

[Drum roll playing]

Ta da!

[Poe sighing]

No luck, huh?

It would seem that no single

creature on the face of the

earth wants to be my pet.

Is that exaggerating again?

Yes, it is, Poe.

There's no sign of Gilbert

anywhere.

Looks like I'll have to cancel

the show.

What?

No!

They were the main act.

Oh, he's right there, Ruby.

Can't have a show without a

headliner.

Tough luck there, Skull Boy.

But what about "The show must

go on"?

A highly overrated sentiment,

that.

I don't know.

Maybe she's right, Poe.

Sure I'm right.

After all, what would PT Cranium

do?

Become an astronaut?

No, he would let the show go

on.

And since I'm related to him

that's-- I say-- that's just

what I'm gonna do!

A ha ha.

[Poe sighing]

?

Ladies and gentlemen, get ready

to be amazed at all the

wonderful pets; each with their

own amazing feats.

Frank, Rocko doesn't have

feet.

Quiet Len, maybe nobody will

notice.

[Whistling]

Here's our first team: Ruby

and Doom Kitty.

[Applauding]

[Drum roll playing]

Come on, Doom.

This is where you juggle.

[Chuckling]

Whoa!

[Crashing]

Ah, look at them out there

having so much fun.

I can't believe this.

Where could those fleas have

fled.

Well at least you had some

pets to lose.

Please welcome Frank and Len

and the incredible Rocko!

Hello Gloomsville!

[Crowd cheering]

Oh, will this night never

end?

I-- I can't believe this.

Where could they be?

Never mind, Skull Boy.

We can finish the show without

Gilbert.

Wait till we get out there and

ah-ah-achoo!

Achoo!

Come back, bunnies!

Oh great, on top of

everything else I get chicken

pox.

Oh, Gilbert, where are you?

We're on.

Ladies and gentlemen, as you can

see the flea circus is at the

moment, unfortunately, flealess.

[Nervous laughing]

I regret to inform you that this

itching is driving me crazy.

[Fleas chattering]

Gilbert!

You're back.

I knew you wouldn't let me down.

[Chattering]

Oh, if only I had a pet like

that; a quiet animal that's

always right there at hand,

ready to go, that sits there

beside you, perhaps in a tall

chair, silently waiting.

I believe the term is "Eureka!"

Ladies and gentlemen, a new,

last minute entry in the

contest: Poe and his new pet,

Mr.Buns!

[Cheering]

Oh, I must avow partner to

esteemed Buns right now.

What sayeth thou with little

brow?

Can you take a bow?

Wow!

And so I must for myself bow.

Allow.

[Cheering and applauding]

Thank you.

The family, I mean the

judges, have made their decision

about who's to get whacked.

[Poe screaming]

I mean, who won the competition.

[Whispering]

No disrespect intended, but the

fleas missed a triple loop and

therefore lose lots to a

technicality.

Plus, we couldn't really even

see them.

[Chattering]

Now, Ruby did a superb job

juggling but technically Doom

was the one registered as the

pet and not Ruby.

So, they must be disqualified.

Finally, Poe and Mr.Buns.

On account of the fact that you

didn't mess up and that that

poem made me, well,

emotional--

they win!

We won?

I mean, we won?!

We won, Mr.Buns, we won!

And what did you think was the

highlight of the show, hm?

I thought Mr.Buns was

fabulous.

I'd just like to thank you

for giving me the opportunity

of working with Mr.Buns.

Well, I think--

Oh please, don't say it.

Didn't anyone notice me?

You?

Of course, Poe.

You and Mr.Buns go together like

pancakes and syrup, wieners and

beans--

Apple and crumble?

Sure, apple and crumble.

Thanks.

I feel much better now, Ruby.

Albeit, a bit peckish.

Anyone for some apple

crumble?

Well, since you asked I could

be persuaded.

You know, I find that I come

up with my best inventions when

I'm getting ready for bed.

Who knows, maybe tonight I'll

come up with my best one yet.

[Whistling]

[Sighing]

Head buffing is so boring.

I wish I could do it faster.

?

Yeah, that's better.

Man, if I've used this once I've

used it 1 000 times.

?

Much faster.

Okay, this is too big.

Wow, that's really clean.

Funny, usually I have my best

ideas at night.

Oh well, tomorrow's another day.

?

?

?

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