Original subtitles

MISERY: Dating tips with

Misery and Dr. Love...

aka Male Doll #9.

Tip #1: Identify the friend you

like and give him a token of

your affection.

[Sneezing]

Tip #2: Share your interests.

Tip #3: When you like your

friend, show them, don't just

tell them.

I like you, Misery, a whole lot.

I like you, too, Male Doll #9.

Isn't he a doll?

?

? So today we're gonna

? Take the time to show you

? The br-br-bright side

of the dark side ?

? Only thing you oughta

? Know, you really gotta

? See the br-br-bright side

of the dark side ?

? Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom

?

? We're gonna show you why

? There's more than

meets the eye ?

? The br-br-bright side

of the dark side ?

? Only thing you oughta

? Know, you really gotta

? See the br-br-bright side

of the dark side ?

? Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom

? Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom

?

I hate doing laundry.

I'm with you, bro, but we've

got to get movin' or we're gonna

be last in line.

LEN: The sock!

FRANK: No time, Len.

We must push on.

You hang on, little guy, I'll

be back for you.

[Door slamming]

[Buzzing]

We've done it, Len.

We've beat...

[Sighing]

...the rush.

Whoa.

If you please, who should be

first to use the machine?

Oh, me!

We'll do it first.

Let's make this as painless

as possible.

I suggest we play a game of

boulder, shroud, guillotine.

Winner goes first.

Good one, Ruby.

Splendid idea.

And if I win, I get to choose

who scrubs my soils.

Maybe.

Hey, Scaredy, come on in the

circle.

Geometric shapes frighten me.

[Teeth chattering]

On the count of three,

everybody call boulder, shroud

or guillotine.

I am curious, how does one-

One, two, three.

Ah.

Who wins?

I say Scaredy for creativity.

He became boulder.

I agree.

Scaredy goes first followed by

Frank and Len, Skull Boy-

Don't forget moi.

[Giggling]

Then Poe.

Doom and I will go last.

FRANK: Bye for now.

LEN: See ya.

POE: Sayonara.

RUBY: Have fun.

[Thunder crashing]

Hey, don't forget to ring the

laundry bell before you finish,

so the others will know when to

come down.

For whom does the bell toll?

The bell tolls for thee, my

friend.

The bell tolls for thee.

[Door creaking, closing]

You know, should not laundry

be a group activity?

You know like monster taming or

something?

[Rumbling]

What's going on?

[Thunder crashing]

Oh, this cannot be good.

Oh, no, oh, no, oh, my dear.

Ah!

Oh.

I do not recall the laundry

being so hazardous an activity.

Do you, Mr. Buns?

[Rumbling]

[Gasping]

Ancient drawings.

Perhaps from a lost

civilization.

Fascinating.

Mr. Buns, I read in one of

Poe's books that drawings on

the wall are meant to

communicate a message.

Oh, my.

Oh, my.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

Oh, my.

Oh, my- oh, my dear!

The queen is coming to visit me

for tea.

Any second now.

I must tell Ruby.

No, you are right, Mr. Buns.

I will keep it a secret and

surprise her.

In the meantime, I must prepare.

Oh, this is so exciting.

Oh, aren't you excited,

Mr. Buns?

Well, at least this gives us

a chance to sort our clothes

properly.

Pithy.

Verbose.

Pithy.

Frank, why don't we use the

words cool and uncool instead of

pithy and verbose?

Because we're pithy.

Cool.

Almost forgot.

[Bell ringing]

Ready to wash and roll?

You bet.

Pithy.

Super pithy.

Ancient musical notes.

Look, Len and Frank on body

of lion.

Squiggly line, leg, queen.

FRANK: Queen, leg, squiggly

line, Len and Frank on body of

lion can mean only one thing,

Len.

No way.

The queen of talent scouts is

coming to scout us.

Pithy and super pithy.

Woo-hoo!

No time for practice, Len.

We must laundry, I mean-

Exactly, in reverse.

To the garage.

But wait, shouldn't we tell Ruby

and the gang?

We will.

After we sign the record deal.

Let's not jinx it.

[Bell ringing]

[Gasping]

My turn, yes!

Wow, I bet these ancient

markings hold the key to where

I'm from.

There!

Doesn't it look exactly like me?

Check it out.

And he looks like some kind of

king.

Hey, maybe I'm descendant from a

long line of kings.

[Gasping]

Egyptians kings.

But wait, this leg, squiggly

line leading to a queen can only

mean one thing.

A descendant of the queen is

coming to visit me bringing with

her a royal leg for me to wear.

Alas, poor leg bone, I knew him

pretty good, Mr. Buns.

Pretty darn good.

No time to lose.

I must get ready for her

arrival.

[Clearing throat]

Oh, befouled apparel, how do

I loathe thee?

Let me count the ways.

[Bell ringing]

Oh, oh, grand.

Laundry, these are the

appendages of an artist not a

launderer.

Oh.

[Squawking]

I'm going to the mysterious

world of Egypt.

Okay, not exactly.

But the queen of Egypt is coming

to visit; no doubt to inform me

that a pyramid will be erected

in my honour.

I must get ready.

Ring, ring, ring, your turn,

Ruby an' Doom.

Poe sure was in a hurry.

Something tells me he's not a

fan of the soapy science.

Does this look like a horse to

you?

But that's what the artist says

it is.

A chicken.

Really?

Looks to me like a teapot.

See, here's the handle.

And here's the spout.

No, huh?

Oh, well, come on.

As Len would say, "Let's wash

and roll."

Amazing.

Obviously ancient yet strikingly

familiar.

That does look like you.

Very royal-like.

Hey, maybe you have royal blood

in you.

[Giggling]

Your majesty.

I wonder what else the drawing

say.

[Thunder crashing]

[Rumbling]

[Rumbling]

[Coughing]

[Gasping]

Wow, look, there's more.

Any minute now, from the sky

will descend a flying saucer.

So prepare yourself, Mr. Buns.

We must tell the others.

[Thunder crashing]

What was I thinking?

Of course royalty first.

[Giggling]

[Thunder crashing]

?

? Frank and Len, Frank and Len

? You know that we don't bend

? We're Frank and Len

? Frank and Len Frank and Len

? We're not just any man

? We're Frank and Len

[Doorbell ringing]

Love that new doorbell sound

you're making, Len.

Thanks, but I'm not making a

new doorbell sound.

[Doorbell ringing]

The doorbell is making the new

doorbell sound.

Hey, guys-

Wanna hear our new song?

Wicked!

Yeah.

? Frank and Len Frank and Len

? You know that we don't bend

? We're Frank and Len

Whoa.

So what do you think?

Sounds good.

But we really came to tell you,

we are expecting a visitor any

minute, so be ready.

We know and we are.

We welcome them with open

arms.

And hope they take us away.

To the stars.

But don't worry, we'll send a

postcard.

That's, uh, good to know,

Frank.

We even wrote a new song for

them.

Want to know the name?

"Rock like an Egyptian."

[Giggling]

Is it just me or was that

strange, Doom?

I mean, your highness?

Your majesty?

You Excellency?

[Giggling]

Come on, let's tell the others.

Name a pyramid after me?

Oh, you shouldn't have, your

royal greatness.

No, too subtle.

[Knocking]

Could it be?

[Squawking]

Your eminency.

Ruby, Doom, what a surprise.

Pleasant, I'm sure.

Have you see Skull Boy?

Over here.

I think I've finally found where

I come from.

Aw ibetj.

That's "Hi" in ancient Egyptian.

Uh, aw ibetj back at ya.

Actually, you would say

aw ibek because I'm a guy.

How about just aw because

that's sort of how I'm feeling

right about now.

And check this out, I'm

walkin' like an Egyptian.

And it comes so natural.

Ruby, which one is more

appropriate when greeting the

queen of Egypt?

Are you okay, Ruby?

Um, yes.

We just wanted to share with you

the news that a visitor should

be arriving any minute.

BOTH: We know.

I could really go for a cup

of tea right about now.

Where are all the teacups and

the teapot?

Many thank you's, Doom.

Whoa!

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Hey, Scaredy, what's going

on?

And what have you got on?

No, no time, Ruby, if you

please.

I am expecting any minute my

most honoured guest.

Ah!

Oh, dear.

The mummy costume does not fit

like I remember, you know?

Perhaps owing to my consumption

of too many mosquitoes.

Thank you kindly.

[Rumbling, rattling]

This again?

Hang on, Scaredy.

Doom.

Oh, my!

I believe the time has arrived.

The time is upon us.

It's time.

BOTH: It's show time.

?

[Whirring]

I knew it was too good to be

true.

It's not a talent scout.

It's just a tiny, mysterious,

mechanical device with some

obscure purpose.

Come on, Frank, let's drown

our sorrows in a tub of peanut

butter.

[Honking]

It came from in front of the

house.

To in front of the house, if

you please.

Hold the peanut butter,

Frank.

Whoa!

Oh.

Ooh, your highness, I welcome

you.

Excuse me, please, excuse me, to

our humble abode?

Ooh.

She must be a very small queen.

Alien from outer space.

What?

Huh?

Pardon me?

[Chuckling nervously]

Alien from outer space.

Crazy, huh?

Of course not.

You know-

Ruby, no-

What do-

Come on.

Who should be the one to open

the package?

I'll do it.

But what if it is booby

trapped?

Hmm.

I've got it.

Skull Boy?

A little to the left.

Little more.

Little more.

Perfect.

[Wind howling]

Oh, finally.

I've been waiting for this

forever.

Who would've thought out of this

world party supplies would be so

tardy?

Oh, Misery, be careful.

It may be booby trapped!

It is booby trapped.

Ah, I knew it!

Booby trapped with fun.

[Giggling]

[Noisemakers honking]

Let's party.

Or let's not.

Where's the queen of talent

scouts?

Where is the queen of Egypt?

Where's the, uh, alien from

outer space?

Where are you getting these

ideas?

Now I understand.

You mean these aren't ancient

drawing from Egypt?

Ancient?

I made these last week.

They're your costumes.

But why the Egyptian theme?

I wanted to celebrate the

anniversary of my

great-great-great

grandmother Cleo's getting

bitten by a snake.

Right, Doom.

And what about the house shaking

and the electrical storm?

That was just me trying to

learn to dance like an Egyptian.

[Thunder crashing]

[Rumbling]

Okay, we get the idea.

[Rumbling]

So I guess this means I don't

have ancient Egyptian blood in

me.

"Ikuba."

What does that mean?

Bummer in Ancient Egyptian.

And I won't have a pyramid

named in my honour.

And the queen of some foreign

place will not come and visit me

for tea.

And you're not going to be

saved by an alien from outer

space, Ruby.

[Chuckling]

Yeah, darn.

But you will always be like

royalty to us, Doom.

I mean, your highness.

[All laughing]

Hey, enough smiling and

grinning.

Get into your costumes and let's

party.

Great hall in 10.

Be there or be... there.

[All cheering]

? Len and Frank, Len and Frank

? We sing though our minds

are blank ?

? We're Len and Frank

? Frank and Len, Frank and Len

? We're not just any man

? We're Frank and Len

? When we rock, when we rock

? When we rock

? We rock like an...

? Egyyyyyyptian

Ow!

[All cheering]

Misery, great party idea.

Yeah, pithy, Misery, pithy.

Wait till you see what I've

got planned to celebrate the

anniversary of my

great-great-great-great

Uncle Socky slipping on a banana

peel.

ALL: Oh.

In the middle of a massive

hurricane.

[Giggling]

Now let's party!

Party, party, party.

Party.

Yo-yo tips with Poe.

[Whirring]

[Fluttering]

The yo-yo, ahem, the yo-yo

originated in ancient China

during the Qin Quin Zhou Dynasty

or some such.

However, my first encounter with

the yo-yo came while on trek

through the wilds of downtown

Gloomsville.

There it was.

Alone in its natural habitat.

The department store.

Careful not to alert it to my

presence, I sent a salesclerk on

a reconnaissance mission to find

me a new rubber ducky as an

aside, you see.

My previous rubber ducky had

taken another position in a

larger bath in another home in

Gloomsville.

More water, better play.

Oh, what a time we had my rubber

ducky and I.

We used to do everything

together, you know?

Take baths... sometimes with

water filled to the top.

Other times only three quarters

full.

Oh, I'll miss my rubber ducky.

[Clearing throat]

Sorry.

No, it is a far, far better

thing that he has done.

It is a far, far better tub that

he has gone to.

Sorry.

I need a moment alone.

As, uh, Poe's trusty

assistant, I shall demonstrate

the yo-yo.

Uh, around the world.

[Thudding]

Questions?

?

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