All language subtitles for Greys.Anatomy.S16E05.Breathe.Again.1080p.10bit.AMZN.WEB-DL.AAC5.1.HEVC-Vyndros

Some of the world's
top trauma specialists

have proven that our brains

may forget the traumas
we survive --

but our bodies,
especially our nervous systems,

always keep score.

BP's dropping.

Can you mobilize
the liver better?

It's the IVC.
Clamp.

What?

No, I need a clamp!

Maybe you should've
thought of that

before skipping out
on community service.

We've got it.
But I --

Let's get two units
of blood.

I'm on it.
We need distal
and proximal control.

Clamp.
Let's do
total vascular exclusion.

Mom.

I don't feel good.

Me either, ZoZo.

Memories are stored

in our shoulders, spines,
stomach, or hands,

without us ever knowing.

It was one of the worst fires
I've ever seen.

Smoke was so thick...

and the roof --
it wouldn't hold --

It was...

Is that your way
of telling me

I'm taking Tuck
to school today?

Isn't he in college yet?

Ben.

Ben, I have to
talk to you about something.

Go ahead. I'm just, uh,
you know, I'm measuring the bed.

Okay.

Uh...here I go.

I...am...

We...

We...are...

pregnant.

We assume a painful backache
or a shaky hand

is something harmless, random.

But it could be more.

Ellis,
eat your cereal.

Where's
your orange vest?

No orange vest today.

The mean judge is making
Mommy go to court

because she's missed
so much work.

So I cannot be late.
Hey, Zola.

Is your head
still hurting you?

My eyes, too.

Really?

Oh. Okay, sweetie.

It might be our bodies
reminding us

of what we've endured

and warning us not to let it
happen again.

Eyes on the road
there, Doctor.

Gemma.

You're in awful early.

I could say you're
out awful late.

No, all night surgery.
I cannot wait to crawl into bed.

Oh, and to think
I was gonna get my paycheck

and then
take you to breakfast.

Um, I should probably --

Richard Webber, if the second
half of that sentence

isn't "Grab a stack
of pancakes with you,"

I don't want to
hear it.

I am hungry.

Okay. Stay right here.
Don't go anywhere.
B--

Okay, Mr. Wilkerson
is stable this morning,

post-op day 1
from his ACDF,

and you also have an aneurysm
coiling this afternoon.

And how are we getting
your girlfriend

to undo the mountain
of damage

she did
with her article?

Well, you'll have to
ask her.

Oh, I see. You think
I put you on my service

because of all the promise
I see in you.

I don't. But I do think
you could talk her

into suing that website
for libel.

Maybe you could withhold sex
until she cracks?

Yeah, that's not
going to work.

What? What?
The sex not good enough?

Are you two on the rocks?

Tom.

I need a CT
for my daughter.

What's wrong?
She's been vomiting
and she has a headache.

Well, it sounds
like the flu.

She also has a VP shunt
for spina bifida.

So I need you to get her in
right away, please.

-Okay.
-All right.

Hey, Zola.
Not feeling well?

I read that hyperbaric chambers
were invented

before oxygen was
even discovered.

A British doctor in 1662
used organ bellows

to hand-pump air
into an enclosed space.

So cool, right?

I mean, terrible that our
patient needs it.

But since she does --
So cool.

What do you need?

Carly Davis,
46-year-old female,

possible suicide attempt,
carbon monoxide poisoning.

Hoping a 90-minute dive
in the chamber

can revive her,
although it might take longer.

I know her.

Karev!

You in or out?

In.

All right, Schmitt,
that means you're out.

But you said I could --

Goodbye, Schmitt.

Do you think
it's a shunt revision,

or is it just maybe
the flu?

It's just my lawyer
telling me

that I'm supposed to be
in court in 10 minutes.

Don't.

I wasn't gonna
say anything.

How is she?
Is her shunt obstructed?

Oh, goodie.
It's a family affair.

Anyone want to
bring some snacks?

Play a rousing game
of UNO?

Oh, and Simon says...

enlarged ventricles.

She'll need
a shunt revision.

This is very common
with growth --

I would do it
laparoscopically --

No, I'd do it laparoscopically,
because she's not my niece.

She'll be in and out
in an hour.

Book an OR, DeLukes.

Look, it's a simple
surgery, okay?

You need to go
to court.

I'll be with her
the whole time.

And I'll update you
every step of the way.

I promise.
Are you kidding me right now?

Got it. Okay. Yep.
You're not gonna go anywhere.

Okay.
Book an OR, please.

Yep, you got it.

I want you texting me
from that gallery

every step of the way,
and don't let Koracick

or anyone else
kick you out.

Texting you?
As in, your own phone number?

Okay...um, I mean,
absolutely, Dr. Grey.

Uh, she's so smart and tough.
She'll be great.

Why are you still
talking?

Hey, it's just gonna be
a quick little nap,

and when you wake up, you're
gonna feel so much better.

I know, Mommy.
I pay attention.

I'm gonna be right here
the whole time.

And by "right here,"
she means in the waiting room

with the other moms and dads
who don't work here.

Are you scared?

You are so brave.

I love you.

Love you, too.

Hey. I've got her.

Let's go.

I can get someone to cover if
you want some company out there.

No. You should be in there
with her.

Okay.

You mean to tell me
you locked yourself in here

with your therapist and you
didn't think that was against --

oh, I don't know --
all the rules?

Technically she was just one
of my therapists

when I was
in residential treatment.

How many did you have?

Three.

Different therapists,
different modalities.

Kind of like when a trauma
comes in and we need to

figure out how many surgeons
we need to send in

from how many different
angles.

Except in your brain.

Yeah, pretty much.

Okay.

Do you know anything
about her medical history?

Anything to indicate why
she would do this?

Uh...all I know is that
she's 13 years sober

and has a serious addiction
to almonds and science fiction.

But other than that,
she seemed good.

Happy.

I just -- I don't know
why she would do this.

Dr. Karev,
are you all right?

Yeah, no, she would just --
she would just kill me

because I've forgotten
everything she taught me

about how to just, you know,
calm my nervous system.

So if she woke up, she'd be
so pissed at me right now.

So...

I'm guessing the two
of you were close.

I couldn't stand her.
She was the worst.

Let me guess, you're pissed
I'm taking away your pool time.

I already had
Michelle for therapy today,

three hours of group,
and it's fruit punch day,

which is the worst.

And now I'm -- I'm what?

I'm supposed to stare
at a light bar

and all my troubles
are gonna disappear?

Appendectomies...

pig parts replacing
aortic valves.

And if I read correctly,

you put tiny little livers
into mice

'cause the one liver
wasn't working?

I'm just saying
I wanna know the first guy

who said to somebody,
"My brain hurts."

And the other guy was like,
"If I cut it open,

I promise
it'll feel better."

And the first guy
was like, "Cool."

But, hey, science.

I get it.
EMDR is just another way

to get at the root
of my trauma.

You spent your media time
looking up EMDR?

Yep. I like to know what
I'm getting into.

In that case, tell me
what it is in under 30 seconds,

I'll let you get
your swim on.

Ready?

Go.

Eye Movement Desensitization
and Reprocessing.

The lights force bilateral
sensory output,

allowing you to make connections
about your traumas

and desensitize you to them.

Aw, so close.

You forgot it helps to
illuminate

the capital "T" trauma
in your life.

I don't have
any capital "T" trauma.

I found out awful news
about how I was born,

and my mother couldn't deal.

I have been
through way worse.

You know, if you're gonna eat
in front of me,

could you at least share?

No.

Because?

Because boundaries.
I don't share food.

Okay.

Deep breath.

You've already established
your safe place with Michelle.

An OR. Any OR.

If this becomes too much,
we can always go back there.

Okay?

What's happening for you
right now?

What are you feeling?

Shame. I feel shame.

I feel worthless
that I'm not in an OR.

Is there an image you have
in your mind growing up

that gave you that message?

That you're worthless?

I never spent long enough
in foster homes

to remember the wallpaper,
let alone the people.

I had a husband who beat me,
but he's dead now, so --

So no trauma.

Any specific memories or moments
that play over and over?

No, nothing.
It's -- I'm -- It's nothing.

It's stupid.

Then there's no harm
in telling me.

I reached out my hand
to my mom at a crappy diner,

and she pulled away.

She couldn't stand
to touch me.

But it's just -- it's so small
compared to everything else,

so I don't...

So let's start "small,"
see what happens next.

Okay?

I shouldn't be
in here with her.

I was doing fine.
I was back at work kicking ass.

Everything with Alex
is great.

And then I just --
I screw it all up

by sticking myself in here,
and now I'm --

and now I'm back
to square one.

I need to get out of here.
I need to get out of here.

Dr. Karev,
you know we can't --

I know, I know!
But if the one person

who could help me feel okay
could just go off one day

and try and kill
themselves,

then what does
that say about me?

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Dr. Karev --

Raise the arm
of the patient

and count down to
the 4th intercostal space.

Prep and drape
in sterile fashion.

Then why are you listing the
steps for a chest tube insertion

if it's not indicated?

Inject with lidocaine,
make an incision above the rib.

A Kelly clamp --

Jo, what's going on?
This is supposed to help me.

She's the one who
taught me this.

Feet on the ground, list
the things you know by heart.

It's supposed to trick
your nervous system

into thinking
that you're safe.

But it's not working.
It's not working.

Okay, well, how can I help you?
What do you need?

What I need -- I need
to think of something else.

I need to think
of something else.

I'm pregnant!

100% p-r-e-g-o.

With a live baby...

inside.

Ben's baby. Our baby.
Super pregnant.

Okay, yeah, that worked.

- Nurse Potter, 5411.
- Nurse Potter, 5411.

Okay.
Everything's good so far.

Koracick just started
the shunt revision.

So, tell me
what we're doing.

Am I walking you
through the surgery

step by step
in real time?

Are we ignoring it altogether
and watching bad TV?

We're sitting in silence,
thinking the worst about Zola.

And about court.

Yeah, I didn't give you
that option.

Derek did a beautiful job
with her shunt the first time.

All Koracick has to do
is go in and revise it.

And as someone whose brain
he has poked around in before,

I turned out great.

Tumor-wise.

As for court,
I know absolutely nothing

about the legal system
whatsoever,

so I'm guessing
you are either fine

or locked up for life?

Very helpful, thank you.

I have a very specific set
of skills.

Beyond that, I'm --
-How is she?

Uh, they just got
started on Zola.

She is wallowing.

Not wallowing,
preparing for the worst.

Okay, that's not an option.
Pick another thing.

That's what I said.

I appreciate the two of you
being here, I do,

but I don't need
the distraction.

Yes, you do.
I'll go first.

I just finished
a quadruple valve replacement.

Only two other people in
the U.S. have ever done that,

and I felt more in love
and alive and seen

while my hands were in
that heart

than I did the entire time
I was with Jackson.

There was no endless talking
about feelings, or arguing.

I-I made a plan,
I came in there,

and I did it,
and the rush!

I mean, clearly
I'm still feeling it.

Now you go.

My daughter is in an OR,
and I am abandoning court,

and I might go to jail.

Have we lost her?

And Andrew thought I was
still going to court.

I think he's
just worried that --

No, wait,
I'm not even done yet.

First he thought that I would
abandon my child to go to court.

And then he offered to skip
the entire surgery

so that he could hold his crying
girlfriend's hand?

It's kind.

No, it's incredibly stupid.

Cristina and I would have
mocked him mercilessly

for volunteering to skip out
on a shunt revision

to be someone's
human tissue!

I rescheduled
a spinal decompression.

You're not a resident.

You're not volunteering
to skip surgeries.

For the woman he loves.

Oh, well -- well, you know,
when you say it like that,

you make me
sound like an ass.

-No.
-Not at all.

He's kind.
He's trying.

But he's not a parent,
and he does not get it.

Okay, so let me get
this straight.

He was wrong to assume
that you would go to court,

but also wrong to support you
while you wait for Zola.

I already said
I sound like an ass.

But...

He's sexy, and he's fun,

and he's so good
to the kids.

But...

I don't know if he'll ever
be more than that.

I don't know
if I want him to be.

Oh, they're tunneling
in the new shunt tubing.

Okay, someone say something
that isn't about my stuff.

I...don't know
Link's parents' names.

I don't know his taste
in movies or his favorite song

or if he actually
likes breakfast for dinner

or just pretends to because
it's all I can make.

And I am having
a baby with him.

I am tied to him,
no matter what,

no matter how things go between
us for the rest of my life

because we made a decision
to have a child.

Together.

And I will learn
his parents' names eventually.

But, um...I don't know him.

I'm just tying my life to his
"you jump, I jump" style,

which sounds...

Exactly like
what you do.

Okay, I sometimes leap and hope
the net will appear --

Yeah, all the time.

I had a brain tumor.

You also have a personality
apart from that tumor.

Which is
a wonderful thing,

and sometimes it is
your Achilles' heel.

We will love you
and that baby

no matter what happens
with Link.

Okay, now it really feels like
it's taking too long.

It's taking too long,
right?

They're probably
confirming the --

Confirming the shunt patency,

which means they should be
almost done.

Okay.

Andrew's a good guy.

We know.

I think I love him.
We know.

We're just at two different
places in our lives,

and I'm just waiting for my gut
to tell me one way or the other.

My gut only says yes.

Ever.
Or like 99% of the time.

It just screams yes,
but maybe that's okay

because I like the leap
and having faith,

and if I fall, I learn.

I think surgery
might be my truest love.

And I don't think
that's ever gonna change.

And I don't
think it needs to.

This is taking too long.
I'm going in there.

-No.
-No, no.

I know that you want to,
but you can't.

If something were wrong,
they would've definitely --

My gut is telling me
something is wrong.

Have you seen my life?
The people that I've lost?

Until someone comes in here
and tells me otherwise...

Come here.

They should be closing up
any minute now,

and I am sure they went in
through a part in her hair

so she won't even
see a scar.

Dr. Grey, she's out of surgery
and she's --

She's perfect, I'm perfect.

You can see her
when she gets out of post-op.

Thank you, Tom. Thank you.
Yeah.

Yeah, a-and --

but not before that,
alright?

Okay. Thank you, Tom.

Thank you.

Will you stay
with her, please?

Of course.
Okay.

Go.

She's good!

I am serious.

He is a CPA
that counts on his fingers,

and he had the nerve
to give me grief

for leaving the office
15 minutes early --

My work already done.

I'd expect nothing less.

He's an idiot.

But it pays the bills.

And for that,
I have to thank you.

I just told the truth.

That I'm a pain in the ass,
but great with deadlines?

I softened it a bit.

Well, I have a lot to thank you
for, not just that job.

Well, you would've done
the same for me.

Damn straight.

But if you had shown up
on my doorstep

with a heel in your heart,

you would've been
crap out of luck.

So, um, how's
the sponsor search going?

It's slim pickings out there.

Everyone at our meetings
is either angry old people

or Millennials who wear spikes
of driftwood as earrings.

I don't know, just maybe
try some other meetings.

Oh, it's -- It takes some time
to find the right one.

Well, you know I've never
been one to settle down.

Except for Ollie.
Ollie was the exception.

Yes, she was.

But...

If I wanted to talk AA,
I'd be in AA.

How about you?

Tell me about you.

Uh, well...well...

I'm -- I'm fine.

The hospital isn't up to snuff,
but, uh, it's getting there.

Oh, please, we work
at the same hospital.

And Catherine?

Uh...she's
getting there, too.

Now tell me
how this works again

when she's out of the state more
often than she is in your bed.

Gemma.

What, you want to take
the South out of me, too?

I already quit drinking.

You know...

Catherine and I
like to fight.

Part of what I love
most about her

is her -- her passion,
her fire.

But it's like the --
the light's gone out,

and I -- I don't know
how to get it back, you know?

You have the biggest heart
I've ever known, Richard.

Catherine may be too wrapped up
in her own head

to see that right now.

When my mother died,
the first thing I thought,

and I was a kid --
was that my father's

never gonna have that love,
sitting on that porch

beside him,
the rest of his life.

See, when my girlfriends

would throw pillowcases
on their heads as veils...

...they was like, "This was
the best day of my life."

I thought the only thing better
than one man to love you...

is a rotation.

I've...never been that.

Now, why would you
pull away

from the first little bit
of comfort

that you've had in weeks?

Because I'm a married man.

I am fully aware
that you and Catherine

have rings on your fingers
for better or worse.

Forgive me for thinking that
because you have hit the worst,

that you may be,
you know...

looking around.

And don't insult me
by pretending

you don't know
what I'm talking about.

Because I've known you too well
for too long.

I love my wife.

I have no intentions of
competing with Catherine Fox.

Y'all are having a hard time.
You'll find your way back.

But in the meantime...

you're miserable,

and I'm here,

and life is too short
to deprive ourselves

of what we've been feeling
for so many years.

You know, I think you've
mistaken my friendship

for something else
entirely.

And if you think this is
just friendship,

than you're as dumb as that man
who counts on his hands.

Okay, um...

if I've done anything
to mislead you, Gemma,

okay, I apologize.

But, uh, there is
nothing between us,

and there never has been.

Well, suit yourself,
but if history serves,

when hard times hit,
you bury yourself

in a bottle of vodka
or another woman.

And we both know which one
you can handle.

Are you really
going to just walk away

after what we felt
in there?

All that talk about
rigorous honesty.

I'm in love with Catherine.
My wife.

And you're in love
with Adele, too.

Until there was Ellis Grey,
and then it was back to Adele,

and when she lay in that home
dying of Alzheimer's,

who were you with?

I tried to visit Adele
all the time.

It only upset her.

And whose arms
did you fall into then?

Catherine.

Just because you know
my history

doesn't mean you can
use it against me

to make yourself
less lonely.

Richard!

Call your sponsor.
Get a meeting.

That was
not sober behavior.

Oh, go ahead,
get it over with.

How are you feeling?

How's Ben feeling?
Was it planned?

Don't know,
doesn't know yet,

and hell no.

Uh...her A.B.G is better.

She's less acidotic,
and CO level is down.

She should be
awake up by now.

It's okay to admit
if you're feeling scared.

What happens
in the hyperbaric chamber

stays in
the hyperbaric chamber.

I'm not scared.
Okay.

I'm...surprised.

Tuck is the light
of my life,

but I thought I was done
with diapers and strollers.

Now there's all
these new diapers with wings

and strollers that can
practically fly to the moon.

And I think I...
could be happy.

I might be happy...

but out-of-my-mind
terrified.

And terrified.

It's a therapy thing.

You listed all
these positive feelings

and then you said "but"
as if being terrified

erased everything that
you said prior,

but the happy, the terror,
it's all true.

Well, I don't like it.

Right on time.

What?

What are you,
stalking me?

Nah.

Therapists
rotate every night.

There's always a runner.

I figured after our session this
afternoon, odds were on you.

Besides, I like staring
at the stars for funzies.

I don't want to run.

It doesn't make
any sense.

I feel shame over things
I didn't even do,

things
that were done to me.

That's all I can feel.

Yep.

Is that all
you're gonna say?

Well, technically,
I'm off the clock.

You're used to being
exceptional.

Right now, you're just like
everybody else here mentally.

You're stuck,
can't see past the one moment

that's defining
your entire life.

You mean the moment
where I watched my mom

walk away from me
in a diner?

No.

Then what?

For you.

Purple juice day.

Best day ever.

Okay.
Okay, boundaries.

If you could move through
that fear and that shame

and let yourself
feel angry --

I can't.

Which means
I'll be stuck here forever.

Yep.

Tuck's childhood
bedtime routine. Go.

Okay, uh...

uh, bath, diaper, PJs,

a glass of milk,
brush your teeth,

one book,
out like a light --

but then when he got older
and we'd finished the book,

all of a sudden, he needed
to go back to the bathroom --

Just stick to the baby routine.
Again.

Baby routine, okay.

Uh, bath, diaper, PJs,
glass of milk,

brush your teeth,
one book, out like a light.

One more time.
Bath, diaper, PJs,

a glass of milk,
brush your teeth,

one book, out like a light.

I swear to God, Karev,
next time I go on sabbatical,

I'm going wherever
the hell you went.

You learned
all the things.

I learned it all from her.

Oh!
Oh, she's seizing.

Okay.

Damn, I thought
she was getting better!

Her labs are fine.
I can't tell why --

She doesn't share food.

The almonds she was
always eating.

What if she's diabetic?

What was her glucose
when she came in?

78, which is low normal,
but the hyperbaric therapy...

Is using the glucose to
metabolize the oxygen.

Okay, Carly, here we go.

Alright.

Now. Okay.

Carly, it's Jo.
Can you hear me?

You're good. You're okay.
It's okay.

I'm here.
You're okay.

I'm pissed now, okay?

Are you happy?

Good morning, Carly. Do you
have a few minutes to talk?

10 sessions with you
and that dumbass light bar.

Not really fair to take it out
on the light bar, but okay.

I hate everything!
My mom.

My rapist dad, Paul.

The fact that I'm here staring
at the same image of my mom

pulling away from me in a diner
over and over and over again,

and never moving past it.

And that. You know what?
I'm adding that to the list,

the fact that I'm in pain and
you're treating it like a joke.

This isn't a joke.
It's a breakthrough.

You're finally allowing
yourself

to move past your fear and
the shame and into the anger.

This is progress.

Okay, I can't be angry.

Why not?

Because if I start being angry,
I will never stop,

and then I'm Paul.
I'm no better than him.

That's because you don't know
what healthy anger looks like.

No, no, no. I'm not --
I c-- I can't do EMDR today.

I'm not doing it.
I know it's...life-changing

or whatever, but just,
I can't, not today.

Hi, I'm Carly, and my core
feeling today is pride

because my patient asked for
what she needed

for the first time
in 22 days.

What's happening?

I'm throwing crap
at a wall.

Care to join me?

Are we both
consenting adults?

Yep.

Are we okay if we agree
to throw things at walls --

not people --
just the walls?

Yep.

Right there.
That's what makes you not Paul.

Because you can feel anger while
controlling your behavior.

Throw first, judge later.

Okay.

Remind me not to
pick you first

if we ever start
a trauma league.

Give me a minute.

I'm gonna go off script here
and admit something.

I used to be the on-call
social worker for Safe Haven.

Moms and dads would drop
their babies off

at fire stations,
and I would get the call.

And no matter how fast I drove,
by the time I got there,

that baby would be wrapped
in a warm blanket,

in some firefighter's arms,
a crowd around it.

Why are you
telling me this?

You were five days old

when your mother
abandoned you.

Your brain may
not have a memory

of her pulling her hand away
from you, but your body does.

And your body felt the same way
in that diner

when she pulled away
and left you -- Alone.

It's why it hurt so much.

it did when you were a baby,
all over again.

And you were
surrounded by love.

Still are.

Now, if you want to go home
and take care of yourself,

I can do this part.

No. I should be
the one to tell her.

All right, well, I'll be right
out there if you need me.

Today I watched you
teeter on that edge,

bring yourself back --
by yourself, bring me back --

and save someone else's life
in the process.

I don't know what "square one"
looks like,

but there was nothing
square one about that.

You're giving me
that death look.

I don't have a death look.

You did whenever
I gave you homework,

told you something
you didn't want to hear.

It's just my face.

You had carbon monoxide
poisoning.

You had a seizure because
your blood sugar bottomed out,

but we were able to bring it
back up and oxygenate you.

And in theory, you should be
well enough to go home tomorrow.

In theory?

You know that I have to call
psych now.

I don't want to,
but it's the law --

all suicide attempts
have to be reported --

Suicide attempt?

Hold up.

One minute, I was 200 pages in
to the newest Margaret Atwood,

curled up
next to my heater,

the next I'm in some space
chamber in the hospital.

You didn't do this
on purpose?

Never again.

You were in your home.

Well, I wasn't in my garage
with a locked door,

a note,
and a death wish.

If you want to 5150 me
for forgetting to change

the batteries in
my CO detector, that's fair

because that thing's
been out for months,

and I-I could've died.

Thanks for
not letting me die.

Breathe.

I'm breathing.

Her chemistries
are stable,

but should I get
an endocrine consult?

Um...

Carly...

I can't be
your doctor anymore.

I never should've been
in the first place.

So Dr. Bailey will
take good care of you.

What?

Boundaries.

Looks like somebody learned
something after all.

Okay.

Oh, you're home.

Yes, I am home.

You worked
all night again?

Yeah, I did.

I went to breakfast, then, uh,
I came back here to lie down.

I guess I slept all day.

How was your trip?

Same as it always is.

You look tired, Richard.

I am, Catherine.

I really am.

Go back to sleep.

I came as fast as I could.
What's -- What's going on?

What's -- Is --
Are you okay?

Is -- Is Tuck okay?

Oh, okay,
so not an emergency.

Well -- Well, can we talk
about it over dinner?

Because I'm starving,

and that --
that tandoori chicken

at Monsoon on Main
is calling my na--

I'm pregnant!

But...you...

you...

y-you said were
going through menopause.

Turns out a lot can be true
at the same time.

It's crazy, right?

And I know, we've --
we've never talked about this,

but I've been thinking
about how much more prepared

I am now compared to
when I had Tuck.

I was just a resident.
I thought I knew everything,

but basically knew,
uh, nothing.

But now I've got mad skills,
nothing can stop me,

and I kind of think
this might be great

and something that we'll
have...together. Right?

Or...mm, am I wrong?

Um, and it's okay
if I'm...

if, uh...

I'm sorry. Uh...

I've just been spinning all day
waiting to tell you,

and then I got stuck
in the chamber --

-Oh, we're having a baby!!

Y-Yes.

Oh, and nausea is a classic
symptom of pregnancy --

one more spin and we...

We're having a baby.

Tell them.
Tell them.

Hey, hey. We're --
We're having a baby.

We're having a baby.

Trauma doesn't tell time.

It can't tell if we're 8 or 41,

if our kids
have the chicken pox,

or if we have

the biggest surgeries
of our lives to perform.

Hey. How was your day?

Rough.

Do you want to
talk about it?

It doesn't have to be
with me.

I just don't want you to keep it
inside like before.

Do you wanna throw crap?

And when it sneaks up on us,

it's easy to think we're
right back at square one.

You okay?

Yeah.
Getting there.

Lame!
You got to --

You got to really
throw it.

That felt
oddly satisfying.

Right?

Okay, but let's do it
over here.

Let's do it over here,
come on.

Whoo!

One, two...

Three.
Aah!

But the truth is, even when our
brain convinces us we're lost,

if we try hard enough,
our bodies always remind us

there's a way back.

-Okay.
-Okay.

I'll be right back.

Hey.
Hey. How's she doing?

She's fully recovered.

She's asking for Jell-O,
so I'm on a hunt.

Thank you.

How are you doing?

I'm glad Zola's okay.

Good. Nancy.

"The girl who cried
medical emergency."

That's what the judge
called you.

How's your daughter?
Much better, thank you.

She had to have neurosurgery,
so I couldn't leave her.

I get that. But sadly, you're
going to have to leave her,

along with the rest of
your children

while you make up
for your missed hours.

I was able to squeeze a small
drop of humanity from the judge.

Thank you. I will be
at trash duty first thing,

and no more excuses,
as soon as she's sent home.

Dr. Grey, you're not going back
to clean-up duty.

You'll be making up
your missed hours in jail.

And prepares us for whatever
fight lies ahead.