Original subtitles

♪ [ piano ]

MAN: Ben!

[ item clatters ] ♪ [ piano stops ]

[ laughter ]

What'’s the racket, Ben?

Applejack here was stealin'’ my drink, Sully.

Caught him red-handed.

No, I thought it was my drink, Mr. Sully!

Honest.Uh-huh.

If Ben Poole says you were stealin'’ it, Jim, you was.

You'’re always moochin' drinks anyway, Jim.

Time you was taught a lesson.

No, no! It was a mistake.

Look! Look, I got the money, I'’ll pay for the drink. See?

Seen him flash that $20 gold piece around here

plenty times, Steamboat.

But I ain'’t ever seen it broken.

You want free drinks, Jim?

Well, we'’ll give them to you, all you want!

Outside, in the horse trough.

[ laughter ]

No!

No, no! Not again!

Lock the door!Oh yeah!

[ laughter ]

In he goes!

No, no, what are you gonna do?

Oh, no! No, no, no, don'’t throw me in there!

I'’ll get pneumonia, I'll die!Go ahead.

Won'’t somebody listen to me?Put that man down.

I tell you, it was an honest mistake. It was all an honest mistake...

♪ [ trumpet ]

Howdy, folks. I'’m the Old Ranger.

When the mining communities or cattle towns

sprang into being in the West,

generally, they were wide open and lawless.

Inevitably, the towns would change. Law and order,

and schools and churches would come to them.

But it was seldom that the early settlers

were convinced of the need for these changes.

Sometimes it took a miracle to convince them, such as the...

Whatever he'’s done, perhaps it was an honest mistake.

At any rate, isn'’t it up to the law to decide on his punishment?

And who are you?

Joel Todd, Reverend Joel H. Todd.

Oh, Preacher, why are you pokin'’ your nose in our business?

I'’ve been sent here to build a church.

Oh.

We'’re mostly miners here, Preacher.

What we want in Whiskey Gulch is exactly what Steamboat Sully here gives us.

Chance to gamble, booze it up, and pretty girls to dance with.

What we don'’t want is law and order

and a church to sing hymns in.

Am I right, folks?

MEN: Yeah!

Another thing, Preacher,

we like action here in Whiskey Gulch,

not just mealy-mouthed words.

Seems you don'’t like Applejack Jim

bein'’ thrown in a horse trough.

[ chuckles ] You care to try and stop us from doin'’ it?

I'’m a man of peace, Mr. Sully.

[ laughter ]

[ uproarious laughter ]

Alright, Preacher, you just seen your first and last baptism

in Whiskey Gulch.

Now get movin'’ outta here.

Come on, folks, I'’m buying!

Hey!Come on!

[ chatter, laughter ]

Let me help you, Jim.[ mutters ]

Hey, well, I'’m not so sure.

Maybe you ain'’t never seen a preacher

take a town over and clamp down on a man'’s pleasures.

Well, maybe I ain'’t, Ben,

but that don'’t mean I want it to happen.

With my saloon and my gamblin'’ powers

and my dancehall,

I'’ll get hit right here in the pocketbook.

Alright, Steamboat, alright.

Say, I got a notion.

Notion that might give us a few more laughs

and get rid of the preacher at the same time.

I'’m gonna give Preacher Todd a church!

Well, now, how is givin'’ him a church

gonna get rid of him?

[ chuckles ] You'’ll see.

Wait till I find the deed to the property.

Here it is.

[ laughing ]

[ laughing ][ continues laughing ]

There, Jim, that'’ll keep you warm on the way home.

Thank you, Reverend, but I better not take it.Why not?

You heard Mr. Sully invitin'’ you to leave town, didn'’t you?

You won'’t be here long enough for me to give it back to you.

Hey, Preacher!

You'’re invited in, Preacher.

Ben Poole wants to give you somethin'’.

Somethin'’ real churchy.

STEAMBOAT: Eh, come in, Preacher, come on in.

Hey, Preacher, we'’ve been reflectin'.

Maybe we were a bit hasty out there. Indeed.

Yeah, and to make up for it, Ben Poole--

That'’s Ben Poole there.

Well, old Ben has decided to give you a present.

Any contribution will be highly appreciated.

Well, it'’s not exactly money we'’re offerin', Preacher Todd.

It'’s a-- It's a church.

Well, at least it'’s a building.

Bless you, bless you both.

Well, now the buildin'’ ain'’t much, Preacher,

it ain'’t got no stained-glass windows.

Well, I-- I wouldn'’t expect that.

Uh, fact is, you might have to do some fixin'’ on it.

I'’ve got a strong back, Mr. Poole,

and I'’m sure there'll be many willing helpers.

Oh, that very well may be.

Anyway, here'’s the deed to the property.

Thank you. Thank you.

Uh, folks, what do you say we take Preacher Todd

out there right now and join him, huh?[ chattering ]

Well, here we are, Preacher, what do you think of it?

Like we said, Preacher,

there ain'’t no stained-glass window.[ laughter ]

It slipped my mind to tell you

the building burned down a couple of months ago.

But the land is yours if you can build a church on it,

within 30 days.

[ laughter ]

The preacher don'’t seem to like it much, does he, folks?

On the contrary, Mr. Sully,

I'’m sure a splendid church can be built on this site.

"On this site, with the help of Almighty,

"and the citizens of Whiskey Gulch,

"will be erected a church.

"The following contributions are hereby acknowledged:

"1. Reverend Joel H. Todd-- his life;

Ben Pool-- this site."

Your funds will be appreciated, brethren.

Will you contribute?

Hmph!

Will you?

Ah, the preacher put up a sign over there,

Harry'’s over havin' a look.

What'’s the sign say, Harry?

It'’s one of those dedication-type things, Ben.

Havin'’ a list acknowledgin' contributions, you'’re on it.

"Ben Poole," it says, "this site".

And there'’s room for a lot more names.

That'’s a dirty underhanded trick puttin'’ my name there.

Folks will see it and pony up with their contributions.

Will you stop worryin'’, Ben?

First off, everybody knows you gave the preacher

that property as a joke.

And second, do anybody in this town

do much of anything without I do it first?

I guess not.

Well, I ain'’t about to give the preacher a contribution

so he can put my name on that list.

And to prove it-- Bill!

Give me a bottle of whiskey.

Jim.

Jim!

Drink up.

Go on, it'’s better than you'’re used to gettin'.

[ chuckling ]

Yeah, there'’s my word on it.

I just as soon give a old drunk like Jim

a whole bottle of whiskey

rather than give one red cent to that mealy-mouthed preacher.

[ laughter ]

Reverend?

Here'’s a $20 gold piece.

Take my advice.

Use it to get to the next town.

Mornin'’, Jim.

Mornin'’, Reverend.

"One, Reverend Joel H. Todd-- his life;

"two, Ben Poole-- this site;

three, Applejack Jim, $20"!

Beggin'’ you pardon, Reverend, when the devil did I give you $20?

Last night.I did?

I guess I did.

To be honest with you, Jim, at the time, you suggested

I use the money to go to the next town.

If you still want it used for that purpose,

I'’ll return it to you.

"Three, Applejack Jim, $20"! [ chuckles ]

Might say you'’re the first member of my congregation.

I am!

[ laughs ]

Reverend, you keep that $20.

Uh, Jim.

I strongly suspect you'’re headin'

for Mr. Sully'’s saloon for a drink.

Well, as the first member of my congregation,

it behooves you to give up liquor.

It does?

You-- You mean as of right now?

That'’s exactly what I mean.

Otherwise, I'’ll have to return your contribution

and remove your name from the list.

Well, couldn'’t I have just one little eye-opener, Reverend?

Not even one little eye-opener.

Come on, Jim.

I know you can do it.

"Three, Applejack Jim, $20."

Old Applejack, right on time as usual.

Lookin'’ for his morning's mornin'’-after.

What'’ll it be, Jim?

Nothin'’. Thank you kindly.

I'’ve given up drinkin'.

You what?

Given up drinkin'’.

Just come after my coat that I left here last night.

Steamboat, Ben, heard the news?

Applejack Jim ponied up $20 for the church fund.

His name'’s on Preacher'’s list.

"Stop worrying," you told us, huh?

Nobody does nothin'’ in this town unless you do it first.

Well, Applejack Jim'’s gone and done it.

And when one fellow does it, it snowballs.

I'’ve seen it happen a million times.

Oh, hoo-ha, one turncoat don'’t make a congregation.

Besides, maybe Jim can be unconverted.

Harry, pour me a glass of whiskey.

Jim!

Jim, how would you like a free drink

and a $50 bonus for drinking it?

A bonus?

Thanks, I ain'’t drinkin', Mr. Sully.

I'’ll make it 100.

Uh...

No, sir.

200.

300?

I'’d like to, Mr. Sully, but no.

400.

Maybe you didn'’t understand me, Mr. Sully, but I ain'’t drinkin'.

$500, Jim, just for takin'’ a little drink.

He told you, Mr. Sully, he isn'’t drinkin'.

In case you'’re wondering, Jim, I didn'’t come here to see if you'’d keep your promise.

I was certain you would.

Thank you, Reverend.

I came here to point to Jim as a good example

and ask all of you to follow in his footsteps.

Who'’ll be the next to find his path to the Lord?

Hell, I told you.

Look at '’em, they'’re ready to snowball.

This town would be like a Sunday school

if you don'’t do somethin' about it.

Hey, you!

Preacher!

Now, I'’m sayin' it again.

We like action here in Whiskey Gulch, not mealy-mouthed words.

Now, I will give you a contribution.

But you gotta fight me for it.

You gotta take it away from me like a man!

Here, now, or anytime!

I'’ve told you, Mr. Sully, I'’m a man of peace.

Come on, Jim.

[ laughing ]

[ laughter ]

Well, it'’s all clear now, Jim.

Now we can start building the church.

You know, it takes a lotta timber and nails

to build a church, Reverend.

My $20 ain'’t gonna provide much of either.

True, Jim.

Harsh but true.

You know, I come awful close to swallowing drink

when he got to 400.

Maybe I should have.

I would have given it to the church fund.

Well, half of it anyway.

I'’d have given it back to you, Jim, and the $20, too.

Our church won'’t be built with that kinda money.

You know somethin'’ else?

You come awful close to winnin'’ over them jaspers

at the saloon this mornin'’.

Yeah, I thought so, too.

I wonder what went wrong.

What went wrong was you was up against Mr. Sully.

He bluffed you.

And instead of facin'’ him like a man,

you walked away from him!

You should have fought him! You still should!

The Lord don'’t like violence, Jim.

[ sighs ] Well, in case you change your mind,

Mr. Sully'’s in his office around now.

Behind the saloon.

No.

You know, the Lord don'’t seem to pay much mind

to Whiskey Gulch up till now, Reverend.

Agreed, he don'’t like violence.

You suppose, uh, maybe he wouldn'’t be lookin'?

I don'’t know.

If you are lookin'’, Lord, forgive me.

[ knocking ]

Come in.

[ knocks louder ]

Well, Preacher, you'’ve come to say your good-byes?

I'’ve come to fight you.

[ chuckles ] Now, I can'’t have heard that right.

Come in.

Now, you what?

Come to fight you, Mr. Sully,

and in the event that I should win,

shall we set your contribution of $25?

Oh, by golly, I believe you'’re serious.

Alright, $25.

You ain'’t got a chance of takin'’ it away from me.

Will you stand still and fight like a man?

I'’m sorry, Brother Steamboat, but that'’s the way I learned to box at the seminary,

and at Harvard before that.

[ grunting ]

Now, you stop that prancin'’ around, I said.

You ain'’t fightin', you'’re runnin' away!

Are you ready to give up, Mr. Sully?

If you are, I'’ll take that contribution.

[ panting ]

You didn'’t fight fair, Preacher.

When you brag to folks that you beat me, I'’m gonna deny it.

In my book, you still ain'’t a man.

Brought you some food, Reverend. Here, try some of this hot--

What happened to your hand?I hurt it.

How?I fought Mr. Sully.

All I'’ve got to show for it's a broken hand and the undying enmity of Mr. Sully.

Then you lost, huh, Reverend?I was right, Jim.

The Lord doesn'’t approve of fighting or violence.

True, I'’ve got another $25 for the church fund.

But then you won and you can go tell all the folks so!

No, Jim, Mr. Sully believes I fought unfairly,

and as a point of honor,

I wouldn'’t say I'’d whipped him anyway.

I'’m tired.

I'’m afraid only a miracle will get this church built on time anyway.

Maybe so.

But it ain'’t gonna hurt none to help that miracle along some.

Hold on to your seat, boys, I really got news.

Steamboat'’s name is on Preacher'’s list.

Ponied up $25 for the church fund.

I don'’t believe it!

We all heard Steamboat tell Preacher he have to fight him for it.

Well, Preacher'’s just too preachy to fight anybody.

Unless...

Did you talk to Preacher, Harry?

Tried to, but he was asleep and Applejack wouldn'’t wake him.

How about Sully?

Come from his office just this minute,

wouldn'’t let me in.

Said he had a toothache.

Did you ask him if Preacher beat him in a fight?

I did and he denied it.

Steamboat'’s got religion, just like Applejack Jim.

I told you it'’d snowball, didn'’t I?

Now we gotta do somethin'’ and fast!

We'’re gonna run the preacher right out of town.

"And they cried to the Lord in their distress.

"He delivered them from their troubles.

"He sent His word to heal them and to rescue them from death.

Let them give thanks"...

Yes, Mr. Poole?

We come here to lay our cards on the table, Preacher.

You converted Applejack here and now Steamboat.

Before you convert the whole town,

we'’re gonna run you outta here.

Well, what makes you think Mr. Sully has converted?

There ain'’t no other reason for him givin'’ you $25.

You didn'’t fight him and you wouldn'’t have won if you had!

Anyway, Steamboat denied it!

We didn'’t come here for discussions, Harry.

Alright, tear this junk down.

One of you get the preacher'’s mule and let'’s get him outta here.

Reverend, you gotta tell '’em!Jim, I can'’t.

[ knocking ]Mr. Sully!

Mr. Sully?

Go away, Jim.No, sir, I won'’t!

You gotta listen to me!What about?

Ben and the boys are runnin'’ the reverend out of town!

Well, good riddance!

You-- Do you know why they'’re runnin' him out?

I ain'’t even interested.

I'’ll tell you why.

The boys think you got religion

and the reason is that the reverend won'’t tell 'em

that he beat you in a fair fight!

You mean to tell me that that preacher

was man enough not to say he beat me?

I swear, Mr. Sully.

Come on.

Hey, Ben!

Now hold on. There'’s been a mistake.

There'’s no mistake. You'’re a turncoat

and we'’re runnin' the preacher out before you have the whole town turnin'’ with you.

No, there'’s been a mistake, I tell you.

And Preacher fought me and beat me fair and square.

What'’s more important, he was man enough not to brag about it!

That'’s the biggest lie I ever heard.

The preacher couldn'’t beat you if you'’d let him.

It'’s the truth, I tell you!

And I'’ll fight you here and now to prove it!

Your fightin'’ me ain'’t gonna prove nothin'.

You want us to believe you, let the preacher fight me.

Alright, you win.

I can'’t fight him, Steamboat, I can'’t fight anybody.

Why not? You whipped me, you can whip him.

No, you don'’t understand! When Reverend Todd fought you, he broke his right hand.

He'’d have to fight Ben one-handed.

Oh...

And it'’s too late to do anything about it now.

Here come old Ben like a bull moose.

Come on, Preacher, come on!

[ blows landing ]

I guess You don'’t like Whisky Gulch very much, Lord.

I know You don'’t like fightin' at all, but that miracle sure up to You now.

[ groaning ]

Thank You, Lord.

[ laughter ]

Folks, you know, I reckon maybe I--

I saw a miracle here today.

Anyways, I'’m joinin' the preacher'’s congregation

and I'’m upping my contribution to the church fund 10 times!

Now, I suggest you all do the same!

Now come on, let'’s have it!

Preacher Todd'’s church, built with the help

of Whiskey Gulch'’s citizens and a small miracle,

is still used for services.

The list still exists, too, acknowledging the contributions

of: one, Reverend Joel H. Todd, his life;

two, Ben Poole, this site;

three, Applejack Jim, $20;

four, Steamboat Sully, $250;

and all the others.