Original subtitles

♪♪ [ trumpet ]

Howdy, folks. I'’m the Old Ranger,

with an exciting new story of real life in the Old West.

In 1846, the United States army,

under the command of Colonel John C. Frémont,

conquered Santa Barbara without firing a shot.

But for years, resentment smoldered

in the hearts of the Barbarinos.

And in the winter of 1848, the American brig Elizabeth

floundered and sank in a storm off the coast of Santa Barbara.

Now, these two events would seem to have no connection,

but they definitely had for our story tonight.

There are several versions of this incident.

This one we call...

I'’ve tried to be fair,

but you Barbarinos still resent our being here.

My men have been intimidated, beaten, and ambushed.

I am sincerely sorry about

the attacks on your men, Captain Lippitt.

But you must remember,

it takes time to make friends.

All things of change take time.

Sure, sure. Time.

That'’s what you told the last three men who preceded me at this post.

What did it get them? Removal.

Well, I'’m not going to be removed, transferred, or anything else.

I'’m going to get results!

I don'’t like the situation.

I feel as though I were living on the edge of a volcano.

I can assure you, señor capitán,

there is nothing with my people.

Well, I must, uh, be on my way.

And try not to take each incident

too seriously, señor.

You see, the citizens of Santa Barbara

want only to live in peace.

Adiós, amigos.

[ door closes ]

Señor de La Guerra is known for his benevolency.

What do you mean?

Ooh, he'’s an old man.

He sees nothing but good.

Then you know something.

There is a reason for these assaults, huh?

A rebellion brewing?

I will not say yes, I cannot say no.

It will take some investigation.

Then investigate.

As prefect of Santa Barbara,

you'’re responsible for the people.

I, señor? Yes.

Ooh, it will take a few pieces of gold

to discover the plot, if there is a plot.

[coins clink]

You find out what'’s going on, and I'’ll see that you get more.

Much more.

If there is a plan,

these little coins should make the tongues sing sweetly.

[ laughs ]

The well looks good, eh, Manolito?

Papá,I think people from miles and miles around

will come over to see our new well.

Now, if we had a weight for the end of the pole,

our new well will be ready for use.

But it will be difficult to find the right thing.

I think I know where such a thing is to be found, Papá.

A weight? Yes.

By the town near Santa Barbara.

It'’s a-- It'’s a brass round pipe, and it'’s very heavy.

I'’ve seen it with my own eyes.But, Manolito, my son,

we have no pesos to purchase such a weight.

But it does not belong to anybody, Papá.

It was washed ashore when the American ship wrecked by the reef.

Bueno. Bueno.

Make Pepito fast to the cart. We will go see this pipe.

Está bien, Papá.[ laughs ]

[ speaks Spanish ]

[ clanking ]

[ both grunting ]

Look, Papá. Does not our pipe look beautiful and shiny?

Sí.It is the most beautiful weight in all of California.

[ laughs ]We'’ll be most proud to show it to our friends.

Oh, most proud, Papá. Most proud.

Come on, Pepito, pull. We must get home and show our pipe.

Un momento,Manolito. I will give an assist from the back.

Come, Pepito. Move, Pepito!

!¡AÁndale!Pull! Pull!

Move, Pepito![ shouting ]

[ both shouting in Spanish ]

[ braying ]

[ continues in Spanish ]

[ creaking ]

Papá! [ gasps ]

Are you all right?

My leg-- My leg is caught, Manolito.

Hold on, Papá. Hold on.

[ grunts ]All right. All right.

Are you all right?

My leg-- I cannot move it.

Oh, Papá,you will ride on Pepito.

Pepito and I will take you home, Papá.

You'’re a good boy, Manolito.

[ grunting ]

What do you want?

I'’ve just come from patrolling the beach.

The cannon'’s missing.The canon?

Oh, you mean that old brass canon from the brig Elizabeth?

What are you so excited about?

Ain'’t nothing but an old piece of junk.

Well, there'’s a canon, and it'’s missin',

and the captain ought to know about it.

[ breathing heavily ]Go ahead.

Come in.

Well?Beggin'’ your pardon, sir.

The cannon'’s missin'.

What? The cannon, sir. The cannon on the beach.

It'’s gone.Gone? Gone where?

Well, I don'’t know, sir. It'’s just missin'.

It was there yesterday, but today it'’s--

Well, they may be firing it, sir.

I mean, if they start turnin'’ cannon on us, we'’re in a bad spot.

Oh, a very bad spot indeed.

May mean nothing,

but I'’m not taking any chances.

We'’ve got to get that canon back.

And heaven help those who took it.

Let me advise you again.

If the missing canon isn'’t returned straightaway,

there will be reprisals.

I know that one of you has stolen it,

and I know what you plan to do with it.

[ murmuring ]

CAPTAIN LIPPITT: There is no place in Santa Barbara

for rebellious thieves.

Be warned.

[ chattering ]

Señor de La Guerra.

[ chuckles ]

Ah, Manolito. [ laughs ]

And how is your good father, Enrique?

Oh, not too well. He has a wounded leg.

That'’s why I come to town to get some herbs for his medicine.

Oh, I am distressed.

I wondered why he had not been present in the square.

But how is it with you?

Oh, fine. I ran into a bit of luck.Uh-huh.

Why are the people gathered in the town? What did they speak about?

Well, my boy, [ chuckles ]

the capitánsearches for a thief.

See, he believes that we, of the pueblo, have stolen something.

He has promised severe punishment.

And the townspeople, too, will, uh,

deal harshly with the guilty one.

And what is this valuable thing they have stolen?

A canon. From its place on the beach. [ laughs ]

The capitánsuspects a plot.

Canon? What is a canon?

A canon is used in warfare.

You see, it shoots a big iron ball of much deadliness.

Oh. What does this instrument look like?

Well, it, uh-- It looks like, uh--

like a round brass pipe.

A round brass pipe?

A round brass pipe. Oh!

!¡Dios mío! I did not know.

I didn'’t know either. And the americanos, they'’re very angry.

And the townspeople, they threaten with violence.

Now this canon lies in the mud of the creek.

But we did not intend a theft.

This you must hasten to tell to the americano capitán.

But will he understand?Tomorrow-- Tomorrow,

you must hasten to the pueblo.

Tell them-- Tell them how innocent we have done wrong.

Will he listen to us, Papá?

The capitánis a very important person,

so he must be wise.

He will know that we did no wrong.

I will go see him tomorrow, Papá.

Manolito, tell no one but the capitán.

If the pueblo should learn of our transgression,

we will be with sullied faces.

I won'’t tell anybody but the capitán, Papá.

Sí.

[ sighs ]

[ door opens ]

What do you want?

I wish to speak to the captain

about something very, very important.

What'’s it about?

I can only speak to the captain.

Oh, yeah?

If you want to talk, you can talk to me.

Oh. I'’m not important enough for ya, huh?

Well, the captain'’s busy.

You run along, and don'’t be bothering us.

It'’s very important that I speak to the captain.

Out. Vamoose.But, señor--

Vamoose! And stay out.[ speaking Spanish ]

Did the americanosforgive us for our foolishness, Manolito?

Then he is going to punish us for our transgression.

Papá...

I didn'’t get to speak to the capitán.

The sergeant, he threw me away.

That is not good.

The townspeople-- angry. The americanos--angry.

Maybe it is too dangerous to tell what is the truth.

Maybe it is safer for us

to forget everything, Manolito.

Yes, Papá.

I just hope the people of Santa Barbara,

they forget it too.

Sí.

Sí. [ sighs ]

"Notice.

"Unless the missing canon is returned by noon tomorrow,

"its male residents of Santa Barbara

"of 20 years or older

will be accessed the tax of $2"--

Dos pesos?[ murmuring ]

"...until the amount of $500 is collected."

¿Quinientos pesos?

"This tax is occasioned

"by the refusal of the thieves to come forth,

"admit their guilt, and return the canon.

By order of Francis Lippitt, Captain, USA."

Captain Lippitt, this notice of taxation--

are you serious?

If all the Barbarinos are taxed,

they will not withhold information of the thieving rebels.

They'’re not making a fool of me.

Captain, if you want peace,

I suggest you withdraw this tax.

I can'’t do that.

They must be penalized.

I'’ve placed Señor Vasquez in charge of collection.

He'’s compiling a list.

Gracias, señor.

[ clears throat ]

What is wrong with you, Papá? You look sad.

I am filled with guilt, my son.

When I think about friends

being taxed their hard-earned money

just for a mistake we made,

I do not feel good.

All this trouble over a round brass pipe.

Manolito...

perhaps if we return the canon...

Then the money will be returned to our friends.

Go to the village.

Tell the capitánabout the canon.

And if you cannot see him, tell anyone.

Esta bien, Papá. [ speaks Spanish ]

[ knocking ]

SERGEANT: Come in.

Oh, it'’s you.

What do you want?

I have come about the canon. The tax.

Yeah. The canon perdidotax.

You see Señor Vasquez. He'’s in charge of that.

Señor Vasquez?Yep.

He has full authority.

Go see him.

Señor Vasquez?

That'’s what I said.

You take your problem to him.

Now, vamoose! And stay vamoosed!

Señor Vasquez?Yes?

I wish to talk to you about the canon perdido.

You wish to pay the tax?

Oh, no, señor. I wish to return the canon.

[ clears throat ]

Now, about this canon.

Oh, I know where the canon is!Shh-shh. Quiet.

I know where the canon is.

It is my thought that if the canon is returned,

then the people will get their money back.

Isn'’t that the truth?

Ah, it is true. Uh, where is the canon perdido?

Well, it is buried in the mud in the Mission Creek.

You see, it fell off my father'’s cart.

Hmm, you must take me to this place

so I can be certain that you tell the truth.

Well, sí.I'’ll take you to the exact place.

All right, come on.

You see? It was in the same place where I tell you it'’d be.

But it was too deep in the mud, and you would have never found it

unless I told you.

That'’s true. Sí.

You cannot find it in the mud.

Now it will be returned to the American capitán...

and the tax money to the people.

Ah, the money will be returned.

Now, Señor Vasquez,

I have another favor to ask you. Yes?

Please don'’t tell the people that my father and I took the canon.

You see, we'’re not thieves.

Otherwise I wouldn'’t have brought you over here to find it.

See, we don'’t want them to think bad of us.

It places a burden on me, this secrecy.

But, uh, if you give me your word

never to say anything about this canon to anybody,

I, too, will keep silent.

[ laughs ]

Gracias, señor. [ speaks Spanish ]

I will never say anything, ever!

Now, I will go down there and take it out of the mud and bring it over to you.

Mm-hmm. Un momento. Un momento,Manolito.

You'’ve done enough.

I will make the arrangements to have it moved.

Now, you go home and tell your good father everything is all well.

Hmm? Gracias, señor.

[ laughing ]

Captain Lippitt, for peace in the community,

could you ask Señor Vasquez for an accounting of the taxes?

Are you questioning my judgment?

No, Capitán.

Just an accounting of tax money.

As a friend, Captain, may I point out

that taxation has not produced the missing canon,

nor has the missing canon produced a rebellion.

All right. So it hasn'’t produced a rebellion.

But what about the canon?

I had to make a decision, didn'’t I?

Mm-hmm.

Besides, they still may be plotting.

Oh, no. I believe whoever took the canon

either moved it for a prank

or had some innocent purpose in mind.

That canon! I wish I'’d never heard of it!

And, uh, the taxation?

I'’ll ask Señor Vasquez for an accounting.

Good.

Sergeant!

[ exhales ]

Manolito.

What is it, Papá?

See. See for yourself.

It is the canon perdido!

Sí.It has not been returned to the americano capitán.

But Señor Vasquez, he promised me

there will be no more taxes.

Señor Vasquez. He lied.

What are we going to do now? We are thieves.

No, my son. We are not thieves.

Go quickly to Santa Barbara,

tell them of Señor Vasquez'’s dishonesty.

I will, Papá.And I will dig the canon from the mud.

Señor Vasquez.Yes?

Captain Lippitt would like to see you immediately.

And bring the tax receipts with you.

Tell Captain Lippitt I'’ll be there almost immediately.

First, I must go to my office for the tax receipts.

[ sputters ]

What are you doing with that canon?

I'’m going to take it to the americano capitán.

A likely story.

You have stolen it.

You'’re the one the captain looks for.

He will be pleased

that I have uncovered the rebel and the robber!

That is not true! You know it is not so!

My son, Manolito, has told you the whole truth.

Lies. You both lie!

But I cannot protect you any longer.

Move away from that canon.

No, señor.I shall return it to the americanomyself.

You want me to take it from ya?

Sí.You must take it from me.

[ both grunting ]

Whoa.

Looks like Señor Vasquez. What'’s he doing out here?

[ Enrique grunts ]

Papá!

[ coughing ]

I will be all right.Are you all right?

Señor Vasquez-- he has disappeared?

He rode off. What did he want?

The canon. The canon perdido!

It is gone.

It was right there, Capitán,in the mud.

Perhaps I can find it again.Enrique...

leave it buried.

I don'’t ever want to hear of the canon perdidoagain.

But the taxes. Señor Vasquez has said--

I think Santa Barbara has heard the last of Señor Vasquez.

As far as the tax money'’s concerned...

[ chuckles ]

...vale quinientos pesos.

[ water bubbling ]

The incident wasn'’t forgotten, however.

In modern Santa Barbara,

it is kept alive by two street names--

Canon Perdido Street and Quinientos Street.

In fact, for 10 years after the incident,

there was a picture of a canon and an ironic motto

on the city'’s official seal.

That motto was Señor de La Guerra'’s farewell to Luis Vasquez--

"Vale Quinientos Pesos,"

which means "Good-bye $500."