Original subtitles

THE OLD RANGER: And now,Death Valley Days.

♪♪ [ trumpet ]

Howdy, folks.

I'’m the Old Ranger,

and I have another interesting true story for you

about the historic Death Valley country.

The turn of the century saw the last

of the great American gold strikes.

But for everyone who struck it rich,

there were thousands who drifted along with the crowd.

Some, like Billy Benson, lived on hope and handouts.

And some, like Desert Annie, had a gift

that earned her a stake anywhere--

for Desert Annie was the best cook in all that land--

from the Yukon to Tonapah.

Many a man would have liked to marry Annie,

but her stubborn heart was set on one.

I call this story...

It was along about 1905

that Billy Benson found a job entirely to his liking:

sitting on a fraction claim in Goldfield, Nevada.

Or maybe sitting isn'’t exactly the word.

[ snoring ]

Billy! Billy Benson!

Come on down here and give me a helpin'’ hand.

Dang women.

Ain'’t no place safe from '’em.

[ grunts, groans ]

I managed to finagle a chicken, so I fried it up

and brung it out to you for lunch.

Well, now, that was mighty nice of you, Desert Annie.

Billy!Oh. Excuse me.

Mm.

I figured a good meal would ease the blow.

Uh, what blow?

Well, I knew a conscientious gentleman like you

would be hard hit, considering you already owe me

three months'’ room and board.

Annie, what are you talkin'’ about?

You'’re out of a job.

Out of a j-- Why, Jim Peel just hired me yesterday.

Today there was a slight argument

as to who owns this claim: Jim lost.

They'’re over in the graveyard now, buryin'’ him.

Poor Jim.

Don'’t look like you'll have anything to pay me now.

You know I'’ll pay it when I get it.

Ain'’t like we was strangers. Why, we'’re old friends.

A woman who runs a boarding house

has thousands of friends, and all of '’em hungry.

'’Course, if we was more than friends...

[ coughing ]

you wouldn'’t owe me anything at all.

I always say, "There'’s nothing too good for a husband."

[ sighs ] Well.

It looks like there'’s just one thing for me to do.

What'’s that?

Get busy and find another job.

MAN: Whoa.

That you, Tim Warner?Yes, ma'’am.

BILLY: All right, Jim. Get goin'’!

Well. Looks like you'’re leaving town.

I'’m dead.

Well, thought I'’d go over towards Greenwater.

Been hearin'’ rumors of copper over there last couple of days.

Greenwater, huh?Yes, ma'’am.

Looks like you got an extra hat back there on the barrel.

You better put it somewhere so it won'’t blow away.

Oh, yeah. Gonna have to watch that.

Keeps blowin'’ around in the wagon.

Well, I guess I better be goin'’ along.

Got a long, hard ride ahead of me.

Giddup!

Greenwater, huh? Hmm!

♪♪ [ honky tonk piano ]

How do you do, sir?

Your fair city of Greenwater looks like a real nice place.

But, uh, a fellow can be as thirsty here

as in any other town.Thirstier.

There'’s no water for 25 miles.

Well, I wasn'’t exactly thinking of water.

Now, uh, let me be frank with you.

You haven'’t got the price of a drink.

You guessed it.

Do you know of any place where a fellow might make an honest dollar?

No, I--

Hey, wait a minute.

A newspaper outfit arrived in town today.

Proprietor'’s name is John Tully.

Fixin'’ on openin' a place

a couple of doors down the street.

Maybe he'’d give you a job, that is,

if you know anything about a newspaper.

I'’ve read 'em all. What more do I need to know?

How do you do, sir.How do you do?

Are you Mr. Tully?That'’s right.

My name is Benson. I hear you'’re looking for a newspaperman.

Yes, I am! Well!

What experience have you had, Benson?

Mr. Tully, I can honestly say I'’m familiar with all types

of newspaper writing, from the Yukon to Tonapah.

I wasn'’t thinking of writing. I handle that myself.

What I need is a man who can set type.

Lost my compositor on the trip over.

He got kicked by a mule.

Have you had any exper--

experience setting type?Yes, sir, I have.

One time, when I was associated with the Esmeralda News,

the typesetting fellow went out to stake a claim,

and set up a camp in a nest of rattlesnakes.

I pinch-hitted on the type till they got another man.

Well, that'’s more experience than anyone else in this town has had,

so I guess I'’ll have to settle for it.

I can pay you $15 a week to start with.

Mr. Tully, you got yourself a deal.Good.

My friend, you are now looking at a member of the press.

No foolin'’!So I'’ve been thinking,

the staff of the Greenwater Times

should rate a credit at this establishment.

I think it might be arranged.

I think I'’m going to like this town.

Set '’em up for everybody, Tom. I'’ve made a strike!

Got copper by the bushel.Give me another whiskey.

[ chattering ]

Now I know I'’m going to like this town.

Benson! Coming!

What in blazes is taking you so long?

Here it is, all finished.

The slowest compositor in 88 counties.

Great suffering catfish! Look at that headline.

What'’s the matter with it?

"Body of Water Found with Bullet in Head."

What'’s it supposed to be?

"Waiter," of course. "Body of Waiter!"Oh.

I guess I made a mistake.

"Body of Water..." [ laughs ]

I don'’t know why I bother to put out a paper.

By the time you get through with the news,

there isn'’t a paragraph in it that makes sense!

Well, maybe I could do better if I wasn'’t so weak.

Weak? What are you weak from?

Hunger. I'’m getting so dizzy, I can hardly read the type!

Now, if you could see your way clear to payin'’ me...

Pay you? You ought to be paying me,

on account of your ruining my paper!

MAN: Howdy, Billy.Hi, Tim.

Say, you don'’t look so good.

I ain'’t good.What'’s the matter?

I'’m starving to death.

Yeah? Well, I got good news for you.

From now on, you'’ll be eatin'’ like a king.

Uh, how do you figure that?

Friend of yours in town.

Oh, no!

Desert Annie has moved to Greenwater, set up a boardin'’ house,

and from now on, you'’ll never know another hungry day.

That'’s what you think.

What, do you mean to tell me you'’d turn your back

on flapjacks for breakfast and beefsteak pie?

When there'’s a ball and chain attached?

Brother, you said it.

Billy Benson just ain'’t that hungry.

[ blows ]

One measly little can, two days till payday.

Billy, my boy, you'’ve hit bottom this time.

Is it too late to put an advertisement in the paper?

Annie!Don'’t act so surprised, you knew I was in town.

What on earth are you doing with that can of sardines?

Well, I'’m-I'm, uh, uh... [ meowing ]

I'’m opening it for the cat-- what else would I be doing with it?

Does the cat eat bread, too?She--

It may seem strange to you, but she just happens to like it.

Uh, dipped in sardine juice. [ meows ]

[ meow ]

Well, what are you waiting for? Why don'’t you feed her?

Don'’t torment the poor animal. She looks like she'’s starving!

She'’s not the only one.

[ meows ]

Well, go on. Give it to her.

Well, Billy, what'’s the matter?

You look like you'’re gonna fall flat on your face.

Why, I bet you haven'’t had a decent meal in a week.

When a man like me gets too busy,

he can'’t be bothered thinking about food.

Well, and he shouldn'’t have to.

That'’s what a woman's for, to take care of him.

Now I have room for just one more in my boarding house.

I was going to put an ad in the paper,

but now I see my duty plain.

Billy Benson, I'’m taking you home with me.

Oh, no, you don'’t, Annie. Not with the money I owe you.

I-I can'’t afford to owe you any more.

I can'’t.

Well, you don'’t have to worry about it.

After you'’ve eaten two or three plateful'’s

of roast beef and potatoes,

and washed it down with all the coffee you can drink,

you can top it off with hot apple pie.

How does it feel to be the star boarder, Benson?

Special hours, special food.

Hmm. Hotcakes and ham and eggs.

That'’s not what I had for breakfast.

A newspaperman don'’t have much choice about his hours,

so I eat whatever they put before me.

You know, it'’s a funny thing.

You and I have been boarding here about a month now,

but, uh, I ain'’t had no such fancy grubs set before me.

How do you manage it, Benson,

by sweet-talking the landlady?

I never sweet-talked no woman in my life.

I wouldn'’t blame you for trying.

I'’ll bet Desert Annie's got quite a neat little pile

stashed away, huh?

I wouldn'’t know.

But I reckon if she has, she earned it

waiting on logheads like you.

Billy? Come in here a minute, I want to talk to you.

I'’m in a big hurry, Annie.

Well, land sakes, you can come in a minute.

I hear you'’ve been made a high-up on the newspaper.

Yep, now that Greenwater'’s getting to be such a big camp.

BILLY: The miners and their families pouring in every day.

Tully'’s asked me to help him with the reporting.

So adding that to setting the type, I'’m a pretty busy man.

And I better be getting back to work.

Wait a minute, Billy.

You and me have been friends for a long time, haven'’t we?

And I done lots of favors for you

when you was up against it.

Well, sure, Annie, sure.

ANNIE: Well, you can do one for me,

now that you'’re a big mucky-muck.

Our new women'’s club is having

their first big shindig tonight.

It'’s a benefit for the schoolhouse.

And I want you to give us

a real nice write-up in the newspaper.

Annie, I can'’t write up no woman stuff and you know it!

You mean you refuse?

And after all I'’ve done for you,

and you four months behind in your board.

You know I'’d do anything I could.

But, Annie, holy gosh.

Well, all right, then.

You can just take me to the benefit tonight,

and write about it afterwards.

Take you!

Well, you wouldn'’t want me to go alone, would you?

And have all them married women

lording it over me with their men?

But, Annie, I never meant a--

Oh, Billy. I'’ll be a real credit to you.

Look at this.

It'’s the loveliest dress I'’ve ever had in my life.

And I made it, just so you could be proud of me.

So I could-- [ scoffs ]

What time does the shindig start?

Seven-thirty.

Well, all right. But make sure you'’re ready!

Billy Benson don'’t wait around for no woman!

Give me a quick one, Tom.

And put a lot of courage in it.

TOM: That'’ll put iron in your spine.

Brother, do I need it tonight.

Have another on me, Benson.

No. Got places to go.What'’s your hurry?

A couple more will make you twice as brave.

Isn'’t that right, Tom? It sure is.

Well, now, uh...

Maybe you'’re right.

Fill her up.

[ liquid pouring ]

My friend, you'’ve got me in a good mood.

Tonight I'’ll buy all the courage you can drink.

MAN: Fill her up again, Tom.

That no good betrayer. [ sobs ]

Everything'’ll be over,

and nobody'’ll ever see my lovely dress.

[ door opening ]

Why, Duke Heisler, what are you doing here?

I, uh, come to take you to the benefit, Miss Annie.

That is, if you'’d do me the honor.

Something'’s happened to Billy.

Got himself stewed to the gills.

So that'’s it.

He'’s been tanking up all evening,

and bragging about how he was standing you up.

What?

[ softly ] Oh.

Made my blood boil till I was fair ready to wallop him.

But I figured it'’d be more to the point

if I came to the rescue of the lady in distress.

Well, Annie Parker ain'’t in no distress

over no man, least of all Billy Benson.

[ clattering ]

[ chuckles ]

Guess I'’m a little late, Annie.

After what you'’ve done, you have the gall to come here and face me?

I'’m terrible sorry, Annie. I just stopped for a glass--

Mr. Heisler--

take me out of here before I do something violent.

With pleasure, Annie.Heisler? Why, he'’s a--

The gentleman who came to my rescue

when I was stood up by a heel.

Annie, wait a minute.

Don'’t be mad, Annie. I-I'’ll make it up to you.

That'’s the worst thing I'’ve read in all my life.

It'’s an outrage!

The man should be horse-whipped!

MAN: I say he should be hung!

Tully, did you write this piece

about the woman'’s club benefit?

I did not.

It was put in without my knowledge or consent.

Well, who wrote it then?Billy Benson.

I told you so!

Where is he?

Back there in the press room.

Benson, come out here! We got business with you.

[ quiet chatter ]

Hello, fellas.

What'’s all the excitement about?

You wrote this piece about the woman'’s club, didn't you?

Sure, I did, but--That'’s good enough for me.

Now, wait, you don'’t understand!

Tell it to the judge![ all chattering ]

Wait a minute, I can explain the whole thing!

[ all chattering ]

Order in the court.

JUDGE: The trial of Billy Benson will now begin.

But you have to appoint a prosecutor, judge.

Well, then, I'’ll appoint you, Pat Kelly.

Now, hold on now, Billy'’s gotta have a lawyer.

I'’ll de-- I'’ll defend myself.

I demand to know what crime I'’m accused of.

Benson, you'’re accused of writing

and printing in the paper

a piece that is damaging to the good character

of the women of Greenwater.

I never did any such thing. I'’m not guilty.

[ all chattering ]I know I'’m not guilty!

All right, order! Order!

[ pounding hammer ]

Looks like it'’s time for you to start prosecuting, Pat.

PAT: Tully, come up here.

I'’ll be needing you to read the evidence.

[ man clears throat ]

[ Tully coughs ]

Now the accused, William Benson,

has already admitted he wrote this dastardly

pile of insults about the women of Greenwater.

I never wrote any insults about any woman.

We'’ll let the judge decide that.

Sit down, Billy.

PAT: Tully, read the notice aloud.

[ sighs ]

"Mrs. Bill Strong poured in a extremely décolleté gown

of black Chantilly lace,

which enhanced the lights in her red hair

and peach-like complexion."

It'’s a lie!

My wife never wore no gown she was poured in.

She wears her clothes respectable.

And I never dyed my hair red,

nor wore no peach paint on my face neither.

"Miss Annie Parker was to be found

behind the piano in an empire frock,

surmounted by a pancake meline hat."

Billy Benson.

You know I wasn'’t found behind no piano!

I ain'’t never been drunk in my life!

But I--[ hammer pounding ]

Go on.

"The ladies of the call group were a little decayed.

"But the audience was greatly entertained

by their wilting voices."[ man laughs ]

It'’s an outrage. They looked real nice,

and their voices were beautiful.

[ all chattering ]Wait a minute. Wait a minute now!

Wait a minute! That'’s a mistake.

That'’s a mistake.

Judge, before this goes any farther,

I gotta have a chance to speak.

I reckon it'’s time you had a say, Benson.

Go ahead.

The fact is I lied

when I said I wrote that piece.

If you didn'’t do it, who did?

I don'’t know, but I copied it word for word

out of a San Francisco newspaper.

Tom Hill can tell you that'’s true.

That'’s right, Judge.

Billy was at my bar feeling real lowdown,

'’cause he promised to write a piece

for a lady friend he admires very much.

Then he come across that very piece in a San Francisco paper.

I know '’cause he tore it out and showed it to me.

All I did was take out the names

of them San Francisco society ladies,

and put in the names of the ladies of Greenwater instead.

I don'’t believe it.

They wouldn'’t write insults about them high-up women in any paper.

Saying their singers was decayed

and their voices was wilting.

I reckon what they said was the singers was delayed,

and their voices was lilting.

But I-- guess I made a few mistakes in the printing.

I happen to know them mistakes was deliberate,

put in there for the purpose

of insulting the good women of Greenwater.

That'’s a lie!

How do you know that, Heisler?

He told me so himself.

BILLY: He'’s lying, Judge!

It was yesterday morning, Judge.

He was sitting in the dining room

over a plateful of hotcakes and ham,

fixed for him by that fine lady, Desert Annie Parker.

And while he was sitting there,

eating what she so kindly fixed for him,

he was telling me he despised women.

That man Benson is a woman-hater.

And he planned every one of them mistakes.

I tell you, he was deliberately

insulting your womenfolk

and trying to besmirch your good names!

[ all chattering ]

Order in the court, order in the court!

Better give us your verdict, Judge,

or we'’ll have him strung up before...

JUDGE: Now wait a minute!

Order in the court! Quiet, everybody, quiet.

You can'’t hang him until after I give my verdict.

It'’s illegal. As duly elected judge of this court,

I now pronounce the prisoner, Bill Benson--

Wait, judge, don'’t say it.

You can'’t give your verdict until you hear from me.

I have some important evidence.

Well, what evidence have you got, Annie?

Well, there'’s lots of things

that have been said here today that are true.

Billy Benson did put that story in the paper,

and did put in those insulting mistakes.

But it'’s a downright lie to say he did it on purpose

because he'’s a woman-hater.

Billy Benson is no woman-hater,

and I'’m the one who knows it.

[ low chattering ]

He put that piece in the paper as a special favor to me,

on account of I'’m the woman he'’s gonna marry.

Billy Benson, stand up.

Is this true, Benson? You planning to marry Annie?

Any man that has a chance with a woman like her

would be a fool not to take it.

Scott, if you was a real judge,

I'’d ask you to tie the knot right now.

JUDGE: Well, I wish I could.

There'’s one thing I can do,

and that'’s to give my verdict.

I now pronounce Bill Benson to be not guilty.

[ all congratulating ]

Well, Billy Benson was found not guilty.

But he got a life sentence anyway. He married Annie Parker.

Funny part of it is, he discovered that the job

he'’d been running away from for years fit like a glove.

Being the man around the house.