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OLD RANGER:
And now,Death Valley Days.
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00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:12,882
♪♪ [ trumpet ]
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00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:15,102
Hyah! Yah!
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00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:25,286
Yah! Yah!
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00:00:32,423 --> 00:00:35,600
Howdy, folks.
I'’m the Old Ranger,
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00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:38,516
and I have another
interesting true story for you
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00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,083
about the historic
Death Valley country.
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00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:45,436
There'’s nothing like a rivalry
between mining camps--
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00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,786
each of them trying
to be the first in ore output
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00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:49,788
and the biggest population.
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00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:51,790
I even knew
of one Gold Rush town
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00:00:51,834 --> 00:00:55,316
that boasted of having
the largest consumption
of liquor.
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00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:58,493
But the towns of Tonopah
and Goldfield topped them all
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00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:00,103
with a contest over...
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00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:08,590
And so, folks,
because this contest
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00:01:08,633 --> 00:01:12,202
over who is the homeliest man
is real important,
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00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:15,292
we'’ve been real careful
in selecting the judges.
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First, Mr. Joe Scarlatti.
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00:01:21,472 --> 00:01:24,867
Mr. Scarlatti
is the town sartorial artist
from Carson City.
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00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,260
Mr. Sydney Janks.
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00:01:28,697 --> 00:01:31,830
A traveling photographer
with the eye of a camera.
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[ laughter ]
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00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:38,663
And third, Miss Faye Catrell
of Beatty.
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[ applause ]
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An expert when it comes to men.
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00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:47,019
[ laughter ]
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00:01:48,456 --> 00:01:50,153
[ laughing ]
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00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:53,113
And now for our contestants.
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00:01:53,156 --> 00:01:56,551
Mr. Lou Witherspoon
of Tonopah.
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00:01:56,594 --> 00:02:00,381
[ crowd jeering ]
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00:02:00,424 --> 00:02:04,167
And Mr. Clem Scobie
of Goldfield.
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00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:06,126
[ crowd cheering ]
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Ladies and gentlemen,
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the unanimous choice
of the judges
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00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:19,095
as the Homeliest Man
in Nevada is...
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00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:22,185
Mr. Clem Scobie of Goldfield.
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00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:24,405
[ cheering ]
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[ applause continues ]
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00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:37,983
[ chattering ]
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I'’m gonna have to lead
the grand march.
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00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:49,212
Yeah?
Who'’s the lucky girl
this time?
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[ laughs ]
Lacey.
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00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:53,260
Oh. I'’m taking Winnie.
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00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:56,524
Of course, she'’s no beauty,
but, boy, can she trip
the light fantastic.
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Pretty good.[ laughing ]
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00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:00,528
What girl are you bringing
to the dance tonight, Clem?
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00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:03,661
Why, uh--Aw, what girl
would go with him?
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00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:05,837
Oh, I don'’t know.
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00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,752
Hey, he may be right,
at that.
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00:03:07,796 --> 00:03:09,363
There'’s that
nearsighted female
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00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:11,321
works down at
the telegraph office.Yeah.
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00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:14,672
If he catch her some time
with her glasses off,
she might say yes.
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00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:16,631
[ laughter ]
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00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:19,024
Now, wait a minute.
Is that a nice way to talk?
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Clem here'’s a world-beater,
a title-holder.
[ laughs ]
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00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:24,943
Yeah, but it ain'’t
the kind of title
that gets you a girl.
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00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:27,816
[ laughs ]
Hey, Clem,
you ever had a girl?
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00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:29,078
Uh, sure.
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00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:30,253
When?
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00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:32,299
Why, I got one now.
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00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:34,562
Yeah? What'’s her name?
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00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:37,347
Oh, you wouldn'’t know her.
She'’s from away.
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00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:39,001
When did you meet her?
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00:03:39,044 --> 00:03:42,004
Uh, last time
I was down in Beatty.
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00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:44,659
She'’s the prettiest girl
west of the Rockies.
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00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:46,138
You got a picture of her?
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00:03:46,182 --> 00:03:47,444
What difference
does that make?
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00:03:47,488 --> 00:03:49,577
Well, we'’re from Missouri, Clem.
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00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:52,493
Well, I'’ll show ya.When? When are you
gonna show us?
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00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:53,929
Soon.
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00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:55,496
Tonight? The dance?
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00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,324
Uh, maybe.
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00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:59,891
Well, that'’s fine.
We'’ll be waiting for you.
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00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:02,416
I-I said maybe.
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00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:05,027
Now, look, Clem, if you don'’t
turn up at the dance tonight
with this girl,
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00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:06,898
you'’re gonna get
another medal pinned on you--
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00:04:06,942 --> 00:04:09,161
a medal that reads:
"I'’m the Biggest Liar
in Nevada."
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00:04:09,205 --> 00:04:11,120
[ laughter ]
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00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:20,477
[ chatter, laughter ]
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[ chatter, laughter continue ]
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WOMAN:
Help! Help!
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00:04:44,762 --> 00:04:46,329
Help!
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00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:48,462
Let me go!
Somebody help me!
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00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:03,346
You all right, ma'’am?
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00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:06,436
Yes, I-- Oh,
thank you very much.
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00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,569
Suppose you let me walk you
to wherever you'’re going?
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00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:12,137
But I don'’t know
where that is.
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00:05:12,181 --> 00:05:14,749
You see, I just arrived her
on the evening stage,
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00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:17,621
and, well, I left my luggage
at the depot until I find
a place to live.
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00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:20,450
You got no friends
in Goldfield?
No.
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00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:23,366
Well, I'’d recommend
Mrs. Axton'’s on Crook Avenue.
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00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:25,325
"Crook"?Don'’t let the name scare you.
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00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,674
She'’s a very nice woman.
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00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:29,154
Runs the best hotel
in Goldfield,
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00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:31,113
as well as
the best restaurant.
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00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:34,072
Restaurant?
Maybe she'’d give me
a job as a waitress.
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00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:36,553
Won'’t do no harm
to ask her.
[ chuckles ]
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00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,952
You'’ll like Mrs. Axton.
They don'’t come any better.
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00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:46,389
Mrs. Axton! Mrs. Axton!
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00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:48,348
Be there in a minute!
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00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,915
Sit down
if you have a mind to.
I'’ll turn up the light.
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Oh!
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00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,750
Where did you come from?
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00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:03,754
Why, from Emporia, Kansas.
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00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:06,278
My name is Mona Sherman.
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00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:08,411
And I'’m Clem Scobie.
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00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:10,718
I know.You know?
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00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:12,763
Yes. I--
I saw your picture
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in the Emporia paper,
with the medal you won.
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You did?
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00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:19,640
I never knowed the news
traveled that far.
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00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:22,207
Oh, it'’s you, Clem.Yessum.
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00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:24,993
This here'’s Mona Sherman,
just arrived here
from Emporia, Kansas.
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00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:27,299
How do you do?How do you do?
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00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:30,259
I told her there wasn'’t
a better place in town to stay,
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00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:33,741
and-- and that you might
give her a job as a waitress.
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00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:35,960
Have you ever worked
as a waitress, dear?
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00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:38,310
Yes, ma'’am.
The Harvey House in Emporia.
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00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:39,660
Oh, the Harvey House.
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00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:41,401
I was there for over a year.
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00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:43,620
The only reason
I left was because
I wanted to come West.
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00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:45,274
If you worked
at the Harvey House,
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00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:47,363
that'’s recommendation
enough for me.
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00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,670
It just so happens
I can use a waitress,
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00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:51,933
and it just so happens
I have a room.
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00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:53,717
Oh, that'’s wonderful,
Mrs. Axton.
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00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:55,632
You wait here,
and I'’ll go get my keys.
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00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,421
Well, this looks like
your lucky day.
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00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:03,248
I'’m terribly grateful,
Mr. Scobie.
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00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:04,815
I'’m just glad
I happened along.
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00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,861
I don'’t know how
I can ever thank you enough.
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00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:08,253
I'’ll tell you how.
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00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:11,343
You can go to the dance
with me tonight.
Dance?
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00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:13,433
Well, I know we just met,
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00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:14,912
and it sounds nervy of me,
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00:07:14,956 --> 00:07:17,654
but, well, the truth is,
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00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:20,309
I'’ve got myself in a jam.
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00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:22,267
Told the boys
I'’d be there tonight
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00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:24,661
with the prettiest girl
west of the Rockies,
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00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:26,315
and you'’re it!
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00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:28,099
So, if you will
help me out,
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00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:30,580
then it'’ll be
my lucky day too.
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00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:46,509
Mr. Scobie
has just asked me to go
to a dance with him tonight.
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00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:47,989
Oh, I hope you do.
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00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:50,731
It'’ll give you a chance
to meet the young folks.
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00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:54,038
Well, I--
I'’ve only known Mr. Scobie
for such a short time--
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00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:56,780
My dear,
I can vouch for Clem.
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00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,782
You'’ll be as safe
as in church with him.
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00:07:58,826 --> 00:08:02,090
After all, he is
the Homeliest Man in Nevada.
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00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:04,309
[ laughing ]
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00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:07,530
I'’d be very happy
to go with you, Clem.
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00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:15,016
♪♪ [ upbeat tempo ]
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00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:20,543
So we rigged up
a medal that says, "I am
the Biggest Liar in Nevada."
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00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,023
[ laughter ]
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00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:24,504
And when he shows up,
we'’re gonna give it to him.
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00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,253
Hi, fellas.
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00:08:35,297 --> 00:08:37,255
Clem, it'’s good
to see you.
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00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:39,431
Yeah. We was wondering
where you were.
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00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:41,085
Here'’s Clem, folks.
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00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:43,174
Never seems like a party
without good ol'’ Clem.
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00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:49,964
Uh, this is
Miss Mona Sherman.
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00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:53,141
Friends of mine.How do you do?
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00:08:53,184 --> 00:08:54,882
Pleased to meet you.How do you do?
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00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:57,928
♪♪ [ continues ]
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00:08:57,972 --> 00:09:00,409
My, that'’s certainly
good dance music.
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00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:03,325
Trouble is,
Clem doesn'’t dance.
You don'’t?
167
00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:05,632
But I do.Uh, me, too!
168
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:07,808
May I have the pleasure?
[ chuckles ]
Oh!
169
00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:12,421
Why, the son of a gun.
170
00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,641
He'’s got a lot of crust.
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00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,033
That'’s what I
was thinking.
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00:09:16,077 --> 00:09:18,166
Just when I
was gonna ask her.
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00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:23,214
Clem sure hit
the nail on the head.
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00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:26,783
Oh, she sure is
the prettiest girl
this side of the Rockies.
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00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:29,612
Mm. I wonder why she
left the dance so early,
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00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:31,179
when it was just
the shank of the evening.
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00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:33,964
She was tired,
that'’s why.
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00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:36,010
Well, it'’s Mona
you'’re talking about,
isn'’t it?
179
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:38,316
Yes.She'’d had a long journey.
180
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:39,927
All the way from Beatty.
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00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:42,407
All the way from Kansas.
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00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:44,496
Kansas?Emporia.
183
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,150
She was
a Harvey Girl there.
184
00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:48,022
Are you sure?
185
00:09:48,065 --> 00:09:50,851
She told me so herself
when I hired her.
186
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:52,461
You mean she'’s
working here?
187
00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:54,071
Starting today.
188
00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:59,294
Well, how do you
like that?
189
00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:01,296
Clem saying she was
his girl from Beatty.
190
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:03,167
He never laid eyes
on her before.
191
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:05,909
Yeah. He sure pulled
a fast one on us.
192
00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:07,650
Hey, we gotta think
of something to get even.
193
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:09,565
Yeah.
194
00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:14,657
Wait a minute.
195
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:17,051
What are we sore about?Huh?
196
00:10:17,094 --> 00:10:20,358
When you find a good claim
that hasn'’t been filed on,
what do you do?
197
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:22,360
File on it.
198
00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:24,624
Right.
199
00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:33,850
[ chuckles ]
200
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:34,764
[ clears throat ]
201
00:10:45,601 --> 00:10:47,385
Oh, hello, Clem.
202
00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:49,649
I thought if you weren'’t
doing anything tonight...
203
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:53,391
But you are.I'’m afraid so.
204
00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:55,698
Bruce Courtright
is picking me up
in just a few minutes.
205
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:59,006
Oh. Well, how about
tomorrow night?
206
00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:01,530
Tomorrow night
I have an engagement, too,
207
00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:03,401
with, uh, George Boyd.
208
00:11:03,445 --> 00:11:06,274
Night after that?Let'’s see.
That'’s Tuesday.
209
00:11:06,317 --> 00:11:08,711
Oh, that'’s the night
I said I'’d save for--
210
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:11,105
what'’s his name--
Luther Grummond.
211
00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:14,238
Boys sure ain'’t wasted
any time, have they?
212
00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:15,979
Wednesday?
213
00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:17,981
Every night this week
is filled.
214
00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:19,809
I'’m terribly sorry.
215
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,944
There'’s a miners' picnic
next Sunday.
216
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:26,947
I know.
Bruce is taking me.
217
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,339
Again?
218
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:30,080
I mean...
219
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:32,256
Well, you'’re going out
with Bruce tonight.
220
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:35,042
You bet she is.
221
00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:36,652
How are you, beautiful?
222
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,523
Oh, just fine, Bruce.
223
00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,961
I am sorry.So am I.
224
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:43,180
Well, see you later,
handsome.
225
00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:44,704
Yeah.
226
00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:31,576
[ sniffs ]
227
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:33,100
Good morning, gorgeous.
228
00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:35,015
MONA:
Oh, it'’s you, Bruce.
229
00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:36,625
Are you responsible
for these?
230
00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:39,715
Do you like them?Oh, I love them.
231
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,412
[ sniffs ]
[ chuckles ]
I'’m glad.
232
00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:42,936
They just suit you.[ sniffs ]
233
00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:44,459
MONA:
Thank you very much, Bruce.
234
00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:50,421
Hello, Mrs. Axton.
235
00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:53,163
Hello, dear.
Have a good time?
236
00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:55,949
Oh, wonderful!
237
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:58,125
Oh!
[ inhales sharply ]
238
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:02,738
Oh, does that feel good.
239
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,610
[ inhales sharply ]
My feet are killing me.
240
00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:07,525
Standing on them all day.
241
00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:10,093
Dancing on them all night
isn'’t exactly restful.
242
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:12,792
[ chuckling ]
No, I guess not.
243
00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:18,275
Oh! I have to polish these
for the picnic tomorrow.
244
00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:21,888
Polish is in the cupboard
on the back porch.
245
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:24,978
[ yawns ]
Not tonight.
246
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:26,980
I'’ll just put them
right over here under
the table,
247
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:29,243
do it first thing
in the morning.
248
00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:33,464
I'’d better light your way
so you won'’t stub your toe
in your stocking feet.
249
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,960
[ door closes ]
250
00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:59,012
I just sort of happened
to overhear what Mona said,
251
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:01,405
and I'’m pretty good
at shining shoes.
252
00:14:03,494 --> 00:14:04,365
[ chuckles ]
253
00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:16,333
Oh, all set
for the picnic, dear?
All set.
254
00:14:16,377 --> 00:14:18,248
Oh, she sure looks pretty,
doesn'’t she?
255
00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:20,163
From the top
of her curly head
256
00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:23,427
to the tip
of her polishedshoes.
257
00:14:23,471 --> 00:14:25,299
Oh, yes. You know,
258
00:14:25,342 --> 00:14:27,867
I left them
over there last night
to polish this morning,
259
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:30,870
but when I
came down to get them,
this is the way they were.
260
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,610
I don'’t know who
to thank for it.
261
00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:35,265
Well, if you don'’t know
who to thank, thank me.
[ chuckling ]
262
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:36,745
MONA:
Thank you. You'’re welcome.
263
00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:47,799
You know, I'’ve never been
to a picnic like this before.
264
00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:50,237
Well, you'’ll have fun.
I'’ll see to that.Oh...
265
00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:16,959
[ laughing ]
266
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:20,180
I tell you, Duke,
you'’ve never seen
a homelier guy in your life.
267
00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:22,312
[ laughing ]
Oh, there he is now.
268
00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,971
Look, go on up to him
and ask him to show you
his medal.
269
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:32,192
Go on. Have some fun.
[ laughing ]
270
00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:37,066
Well, hello, handsome.Hello, ya horse thief.
271
00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:38,807
[ laughing ]
272
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:40,896
Call me a horse thief!
273
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,463
Then don'’t
call me "handsome."
274
00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:45,118
That'’s telling him, Clem!
Defend your honor!
275
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:47,555
You didn'’t think
I meant it, did ya?That'’s why I didn't like it.
276
00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:50,253
You see, when folks I know
poke fun at the way I look,
277
00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:53,126
I can grin at it
and figure they'’re joking.
278
00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:55,215
But when
a stranger does it,
279
00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:58,087
then it'’s an insult,
and I don'’t like insults.
280
00:15:58,131 --> 00:15:59,828
Well, then, you sure must hate
that face of yours,
281
00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:01,917
'’cause it's the biggest insult
I ever saw.
282
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:08,793
[ men shouting ] MAN:
Hit him!
283
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,012
Oh!
284
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,448
That'’s Clem!
Oh, my God, Clem!
285
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,930
Cover your nose!
286
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,888
MAN:
Hit him!
287
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,719
[ men shouting
in encouragement ]
288
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:31,120
Come on!Don'’t take it on the chin!
289
00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:33,035
Let him have it! MAN:
Hit him!
290
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:35,342
Come on! Get up! Ohh!
291
00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:37,126
[ shouting in encouragement
continues ]
292
00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:40,216
Come on, Clem!
293
00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:43,654
Get up! Get up!Get up!
294
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:47,006
Ohh!
295
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:49,269
Get up!Come on!
296
00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:51,619
Get up!Hit him, boy!
297
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:54,274
Get up! Get up!Come on, Clem!
298
00:16:58,104 --> 00:17:00,584
[ laughter ]
299
00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:02,021
[ chattering ]
300
00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:09,724
I'’ve had enough.
301
00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:12,422
[ laughter ]
302
00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:16,731
Clem...
303
00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:21,649
[ chattering ]
304
00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:25,174
You look somewhat
the worse for wear, Duke.
[ laughing ]
305
00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:27,524
Yeah, we'’ll have to give
Clem another medal...
for fighting.
306
00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:29,309
MAN:
Yeah. [ laughter ]
307
00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:34,488
You oughta be
ashamed of yourselves.What did we do?
308
00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:36,490
You had something
to do with it.
I know that.
309
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:38,405
You'’re always
laughing at him,
310
00:17:38,448 --> 00:17:40,276
holding him up for ridicule,
humiliating him!
311
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:41,495
No. He loves it.
312
00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:44,585
Would you love it,
313
00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:47,370
having your picture
in the paper
as the homeliest man?
314
00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:49,285
Always being reminded of it?
315
00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:51,461
Something you couldn'’t help?
316
00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:53,681
I think it'’s cruel
and contemptible.
317
00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:55,248
And if I'’d have been Clem, I--
318
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:56,814
I would'’ve knocked
the daylights out of
all of you!
319
00:18:03,734 --> 00:18:05,910
[ knocking on door ]
320
00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:09,262
Who is it? It'’s me, Mona.
321
00:18:14,484 --> 00:18:16,138
Well?
322
00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:17,922
Clem, I'’m so sorry.
323
00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:20,142
Sorry that I won?
324
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:24,233
I just gave Bruce
and the others
a piece of my mind
325
00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:25,930
for the way they'’ve
been treating you.
326
00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:27,584
Treating me how?
327
00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:29,630
Making you a laughingstock.
328
00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:31,327
On account of my looks?
329
00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:32,763
But I am funny.
330
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:34,852
I laugh myself every time
I look in the mirror.
331
00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:36,506
Oh, Clem, don'’t.
332
00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:38,552
Why, I'’m the Homeliest Man
in Nevada.
333
00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:41,816
Haven'’t you heard?
Not even a mother
could love a face like mine.
334
00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:44,732
One look at me,
and the kids all run home to bed
with the screaming meemies!
335
00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:46,212
Now you'’re being ridiculous.
336
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,388
Now I'’m ridiculous, am I?
337
00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:51,130
In addition to being hideous,
now I'’m ridiculous!
338
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:53,697
Hideous, ridiculous!
Ridiculous, hideous!Stop it!
339
00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:56,657
Stop it!
You'’re feeling sorry
for yourself.
340
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:59,007
Oh, I am, am I?
341
00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:09,191
My face--
I don'’t mind it.
You see, I'’m behind it.
342
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:10,975
It'’s people like you
that I jar!
343
00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:34,869
When you'’ve lived in
a mining camp longer, honey,
344
00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:38,046
you'’ll understand
how the fellas carry on.
345
00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:39,917
I could never
get used to it.
346
00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:42,224
Blackguarding each other.But it'’s all in fun.
347
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:44,183
The boys are fond of Clem.
348
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,230
Then why do they hurt him?
349
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:50,493
Because he is hurt
deep down.
350
00:19:50,537 --> 00:19:53,322
I don'’t care how he tries
to laugh it off.
351
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:55,977
I believe you'’re
fond of him yourself.
352
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:57,892
I feel sorry for him.
353
00:19:57,935 --> 00:20:00,460
Well, there'’s no doubt
how he feels about you.
354
00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:03,289
All the nice little things
he does for you--
355
00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:05,856
bringing you flowers,
polishing your shoes, and--
356
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,728
Clem?
357
00:20:07,771 --> 00:20:10,861
Oh, I-- I thought
it was Bruce.
358
00:20:10,905 --> 00:20:13,473
It was Clem.
359
00:20:13,516 --> 00:20:15,518
[ explosion ][ gasps ]
360
00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:18,956
What was that?
An earthquake?
361
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,263
[ alarm blaring ]Mine explosion!
362
00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:27,400
[ alarm continues blaring ]
363
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:32,970
Where did this
happen, Bruce?
364
00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:34,885
The south drift.
365
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,585
Bruce, what are you
doing up here?
366
00:20:38,628 --> 00:20:42,328
I was lucky. I was transferred
to the day shift,
starting today.
367
00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:44,373
[ alarm continues blaring ]
368
00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:56,733
Who is it, George?
369
00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:58,387
Clem.[ gasps ]
370
00:20:58,431 --> 00:20:59,823
Dead?
371
00:20:59,867 --> 00:21:01,912
No. But he might
as well be.
372
00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:04,350
Explosion got him
right in the face.
373
00:21:04,393 --> 00:21:06,395
[ sniffles ]
374
00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:28,287
[ no audible dialogue ]
375
00:21:31,377 --> 00:21:32,508
[ sighs ]
376
00:21:32,552 --> 00:21:34,205
You mean you forgot
all about our date?
377
00:21:34,249 --> 00:21:35,859
I'’m afraid so, Bruce.
378
00:21:35,903 --> 00:21:37,861
Is that all you care about,
going out with me?
379
00:21:37,905 --> 00:21:39,776
Oh, please, Bruce.
I don'’t feel like arguing.
380
00:21:39,820 --> 00:21:41,691
Mona!
What'’s come over you?
381
00:21:41,735 --> 00:21:43,432
What'’s gone wrong
between us?
382
00:21:43,476 --> 00:21:45,826
Do you really wanna know?Sure.
383
00:21:49,395 --> 00:21:50,961
There'’s the reason.
384
00:21:53,529 --> 00:21:55,618
But I don'’t see
anything wrong.
385
00:21:55,662 --> 00:21:57,751
No. You wouldn'’t.
386
00:21:57,794 --> 00:21:59,753
It'’s just that
I can'’t stand
387
00:21:59,796 --> 00:22:01,842
that handsome face
of yours anymore.
Mona!
388
00:22:01,885 --> 00:22:03,409
And the conceit
that goes with it.
389
00:22:03,452 --> 00:22:05,454
The complacence!But I--
390
00:22:05,498 --> 00:22:07,456
You never get in fights.
391
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:10,590
No. Nor mine explosions.
392
00:22:10,633 --> 00:22:12,940
Or anything that would mar
that manly beauty.
393
00:22:12,983 --> 00:22:15,377
Mona, listen.I haven'’t got time.
394
00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:17,074
I'’m taking the first
stage out of here.
395
00:22:17,118 --> 00:22:19,642
Where you going?To Los Angeles.
396
00:22:19,686 --> 00:22:22,645
To the hospital
to see Clem Scobie.
397
00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:37,530
Nurse, will you straighten
my pillow, please?
398
00:22:42,578 --> 00:22:44,928
Hello, Clem.
399
00:22:44,972 --> 00:22:46,582
Mona.
400
00:22:46,626 --> 00:22:49,498
They said I can only stay
five minutes.
401
00:22:49,542 --> 00:22:51,761
What brings you
to Los Angeles?
402
00:22:51,805 --> 00:22:53,589
What do you think?
403
00:22:53,633 --> 00:22:56,331
You didn'’t come
all the way from Goldfield
just to see me?
404
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,986
Yes.Not much to look at
but bandages.
405
00:23:01,075 --> 00:23:04,208
The boys
send their regards.
Thanks.
406
00:23:04,252 --> 00:23:06,559
They really feel terrible
about you, Clem.
407
00:23:06,602 --> 00:23:10,432
Well, better it happened to me
than anyone else.
408
00:23:10,476 --> 00:23:11,999
At least I had nothing to lose.
409
00:23:12,042 --> 00:23:13,392
Don'’t say that.
410
00:23:13,435 --> 00:23:15,045
And I got a lot to gain.
411
00:23:15,089 --> 00:23:17,047
I'’ve been talking
with a doctor here.
412
00:23:17,091 --> 00:23:18,962
Uh, what do you call '’em?
413
00:23:19,006 --> 00:23:20,616
A plastic surgeon.
414
00:23:20,660 --> 00:23:23,576
He'’s gonna make me
a whole new face.
415
00:23:23,619 --> 00:23:24,794
Honest?
416
00:23:24,838 --> 00:23:26,796
It'’ll take time,
of course,
417
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,798
and a lot of operations,
418
00:23:28,842 --> 00:23:30,496
but he says it can be done.
419
00:23:32,498 --> 00:23:34,456
I'’m gonna order
a square chin
420
00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:36,676
and a Grecian nose.
421
00:23:36,719 --> 00:23:38,460
I'’ll be better-looking
than Bruce.
422
00:23:38,504 --> 00:23:40,462
You'’ll never recognize me.
423
00:23:40,506 --> 00:23:42,421
[ sighs ]
424
00:23:42,464 --> 00:23:45,075
Mona, what'’s the matter?
425
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:49,253
Oh, it'’s just that
I'’m gonna miss your old face.
426
00:23:49,297 --> 00:23:51,430
The ugliest mug in Nevada.
427
00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:53,214
Not even a mother
could love it.
428
00:23:53,257 --> 00:23:55,303
I love it.
429
00:23:55,346 --> 00:23:58,654
Mona, you don'’t mean
you could love a fella
looks the way I look?
430
00:23:58,698 --> 00:24:00,264
Oh, yes, I do.
431
00:24:00,308 --> 00:24:03,050
Oh, Mona honey.
432
00:24:04,355 --> 00:24:05,922
Well.
433
00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:09,535
Patient'’s feeling better,
I see.
434
00:24:09,578 --> 00:24:12,189
Doc, you don'’t know
how much better.
435
00:24:12,233 --> 00:24:13,713
I'’ll come back later.
436
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:17,064
Tell me, Doc,
437
00:24:17,107 --> 00:24:20,241
how do you go about
this face-building business?
438
00:24:20,284 --> 00:24:22,591
What do you use
for a guide?
439
00:24:22,635 --> 00:24:25,638
A photograph of the patient,
generally, if there is one.
440
00:24:25,681 --> 00:24:27,596
There is. If you'’ll
look in my wallet,
441
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,555
in that drawer.
442
00:24:32,514 --> 00:24:35,299
[ drawer opens ] That'’s a medal I won.
443
00:24:35,343 --> 00:24:38,520
The newspaper clipping
with my picture
tells what for.
444
00:24:38,564 --> 00:24:41,741
It'’s a wonder that face of mine
didn'’t break the camera.
445
00:24:44,178 --> 00:24:46,267
We don'’t necessarily
have to follow this.
446
00:24:46,310 --> 00:24:48,443
Maybe we could
improve on nature.
447
00:24:48,487 --> 00:24:50,880
Hang it, Doc.
She likes my face.
448
00:24:50,924 --> 00:24:51,881
I see.
449
00:24:51,925 --> 00:24:53,796
So, if it ain'’t too much strain
450
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,103
on your surgical skills, Doc,
451
00:24:56,146 --> 00:24:57,931
I'’d be much obliged
if you'’d turn me out of here
452
00:24:57,974 --> 00:25:00,977
looking just like the guy
that won that medal.
453
00:25:01,021 --> 00:25:03,676
I like that story.
Makes me realize
454
00:25:03,719 --> 00:25:07,593
there'’s no such a thing
as the homeliest man or woman.
455
00:25:07,636 --> 00:25:10,117
It all depends
on who'’s looking at 'em.
456
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,814
♪♪ [ trumpet ]
33424
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