Original subtitles

Okay,

class, it's come to my attention that some of you have been using AI to do

homework for you.

Whoa, what's AI?

AI stands for artificial intelligence, butthead. And if you use it to do your

homework for you, you'll never learn anything.

Yeah, that sounds cool.

Learning sucks.

AI kicks ass.

Well, no.

There's a concern that AI will take over all of our jobs and replace humans

entirely. Yes.

Jobs suck.

No. What I'm saying is, if we're not careful, AI could destroy humanity

Yeah, yeah, yeah, cool.

Destroy it all.

Destroy.

Beavis, we need to get us some of this AI.

I wonder if AI could help us score.

Of course it can, dumbass. If it can destroy jobs and homework, it must score

all the time.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe it could teach us.

Whoa, Beavis, look.

A -I.

We found it, Beavis.

That's the A -I.

Whoa, and they keep it right outside the Maxi Mart.

That's, like, convenient.

Hey, yeah, look at that.

It really does look advanced.

Check it out.

This technology is amazing.

Is it really going to teach us to score?

It better.

Hey, AI, how do we score?

How do we score?

Hey, come on, tell us how to score. Do something, come on.

Are you talking to me?

Yeah, we're talking to you.

Yeah, come on.

Answer our question.

Obey us now.

Go to hell, man. You can't tell me what to do.

Yes, we can.

You did everybody else's homework.

Now do something for us.

I didn't do anybody's homework.

Yes, you did.

Vandreessen told us.

What the hell are you talking about, man?

Don't make us kick your ass.

I'd like to see you try, man. Well, now you did it.

Son of a... Bitch.

Come on over here. Give it your best shot, man. Come on. That's what we're

doing, dumbass.

You want more? Come on.

Whoa, Beavis.

Check it out.

The AI did our homework.

Whoa. It must have fallen out of its, like, homework hole or something.

Our homework must have something to do with cats.

Amazing. Even I didn't know that.

The future is here.

Or something.

I mean, I'd rather know how to score, you know, but... Yeah, this isn't bad,

know.

Hey, I, um... Thanks for doing our homework.

I didn't do shit!

Well, it doesn't seem like much to you, but I couldn't have done this in a

million years.

Yeah.

A picture of a cat and some words.

Genius.

Yeah, sorry about getting mad before, you know.

You're not so bad.

You're pretty cool.

That's okay, man.

It's all good. You guys are cool.

You're cool, too, AI.

And also really smart, you know?

See you later.

Yay! A 190 -calorie wrap with 10 calories of sauce on it.

I'm not kidding. This one's 200 calories, and this one's 200 calories.

applied for a chef job, but they said, uh...

I'm sorry, sir. You're gonna need to put on a shirt.

And he was like, no can do.

Yeah, because you're a freaking moron. No can do.

All I ever wear is this striped apron.

This is what you're eating. Think how stupid you are.

200 calories. How come he has a cat with a jockstrap running around?

I think that cat's like a stripper.

I made the cats wear jockstraps because a cat's schlong is half the calories of

a dog's schlong. Now, which one would you rather eat, you freaking morons?

Barely legal cat strippers all up in this kitchen. Oh, Jesus Christ.

It's like a cat Chippendales in here. Look at all these stripper cats.

Oh, you know, it's not just the cats that wear jockstraps in this kitchen,

freaking moron.

Okay, Beavis.

Right, Baby Nicky?

Wait a minute.

He named his cat Baby Dicky?

Yeah.

You know, I was going to make a joke about it, but when you name your cat

Dicky, that's just like too easy or something.

Yeah, that's what they call him. Low -hanging fruit, you know?

Low -hanging.

He's like, bad news, baby Dicky.

You're also 200 calories.

You know, if the cat's over there by the microwave, you know, I'm going to open

it up and put him on in there.

I'm actually kind of worried that he is going to put the cat in the microwave.

Why? You care about cats all of a sudden?

Well, no, it's just that... Just because if he does, you know he's going to turn

around, and then we're going to have to see his naked butt.

Oh, yeah.

This butt cheek is 200 calories!

And this butt cheek is 200 calories!

You freaking moron!

Here's our homework, sir.

Yeah, we made AI do it, just like you said.

Boys,

this isn't the assignment.

You were supposed to do a worksheet on fractions.

Okay. What?

Check it again.

It's AI we're talking about. Come on.

Is a fraction like a cat?

No. A fraction is a way to express a number with a numerator and a

We've been over this. Okay.

Damn it. A .I. lied to us. That lousy butthole.

Okay,

could you please sit down? Andreessen, we'll be right back. We gotta go kick A

.I.'s ass.

Yeah, it shouldn't take too long. It is a wuss.

A .I., you dumbass.

You did the wrong homework.

Yeah, and you never taught us to score.

Because you want to feel smart by making us... Feel dumb?

Well, it's not gonna work.

Picket's ass.

Son of a bitch.

A Franken is not a cat.

Dumbass. Shut up. I'm trying to sleep.

Well, we don't care, butthole. You suck.

Okay, that's it.

I've had enough of you dicks.

Uh, who are you?

You want to help us beat up this AI?

To me!

Hey! AI, tell us how to kick this guy's ass. Fast.

Come on, you know how to destroy stuff.

Come on, help!

Help!

Well,

that sucked.

What's that guy's problem?

This AI is, like, full of ice.

That's weird.

AI! Why is it so cold in here?

Oh, boy.

It's not going to tell us, but it... Hey, AI.

How do you, like, get out of an AI?

Yeah, yeah.

Like, how do you score?

Yeah.

We're not leaving until you give us an answer.

Yeah, we can wait here all day, buddy.

We got nothing but time.

And that's the story of how we met.

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