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T .V.
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Thank goodness you're home. I really
need you right now. I dropped my ring
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the drain. Do you guys know how to...
Whoa.
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Well,
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who was it?
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It was like, um, a poptical illusion.
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I thought it was that hot chick from
downstairs telling me that she really
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me right now.
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No, Beavis, I'm sure that really
happened and wasn't a dream.
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We're never gonna...
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Damn landlord butthole again.
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If I wanted to pay the rent, I would
have done it already.
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When's he gonna learn?
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Whoa!
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Um, butthead, it's happening again.
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I'm having that illusion.
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Come look.
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Why'd you shut the door on me?
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He doesn't have a big IQ, ma 'am.
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You know what the counselor said it was?
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69. Do you know anything about plumbing?
I dropped my mom's ring down the drain.
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Don't you worry.
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I think we know how to handle our pipe.
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How about that? Is the ring out?
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Not yet.
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Let me try the plunger again.
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There we go.
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I think it's working.
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You guys can go home. I called a real
plumber.
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Yeah, probably a good idea, you know,
let a pro deal with it, you know.
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Hey, no, dumbass. That hot chick needs
us. We're doing this.
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Now, I'm going to put my hand down the
drain. Uh -huh, yeah. So whatever you
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don't turn on that garbage disposal
thing.
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Okay, got it. Yeah, so turn it on then,
right?
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No. Dumbass, do not turn it on.
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Okay. Well, it seems kind of crazy, but
I'll do it.
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Hold it right there, asswipes.
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Get your goddamn hand out of that drain
right now.
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Pod? That's really Pod.
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Owen Morris.
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Feel to be a bird.
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Is this guy Irish?
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Oh, he's Irish, all right.
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I wish he would shut up and stop
singing.
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I think that was a dad joke, but... How
would you know,
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Beavis? You don't have a dad.
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That's true.
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A dad joke for you would be like,
Beavis, I'm glad you're my son.
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I want to spend more time with you.
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And everyone knows if I'm alive or dead.
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Yeah, that's pretty good.
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Oh, boy.
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Is this song ever going to, like...
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speed up or something.
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Uh, no.
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I think it's getting slower.
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I think I know what he's doing here,
see?
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It's really slow now, but it's just
gonna kick in any second, you know?
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Here it comes, yeah.
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Drop the bass.
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How does it feel to be a bird?
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No.
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Guess I was wrong.
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I think now there's less bass.
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He didn't drop anything.
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I guess not.
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Oh, boy.
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This guy looks like one of those guys
where, like, his dad wanted him to learn
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to box and become a fighter.
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But he wanted to sit around and write
poems.
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His dad was right.
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Yeah, really.
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He was like, no, dad, I don't want to
learn to fight. My words are my fists.
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And then his dad was like, well, my
fists are my fists.
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And then he punched him in the face.
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Is he doing laundry now?
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Yeah.
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She wet the bed.
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Quit your whimpering and your whining
and do some laundry.
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Your sheets need a good washing.
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You've been in there spanking your wee
monkey, Dermot Kennedy.
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This is like the most bad that it could
possibly be. Yeah.
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He, like, showed the video to his
friends, and they were like, uh, Dermot,
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kind of sucks.
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And then he was like, kind of?
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Well, just watch me.
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I'm gonna make it suck harder than
anything has ever sucked before.
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More birds.
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More shots of the water.
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And no drums.
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If I hear the sound of one drum, I'm
gonna punch you with my words.
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When I'm face to face with death, I'll
grab his throat. Self -expression sucks.
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So do you remember that time you threw
us in your trunk by the railroad track?
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No.
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Do you remember when you threw us in
your trunk at the pool?
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No.
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What about the time you threw us in your
trunk by the creek? Remember that one?
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Huh.
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I guess I do remember messing with a
couple of losers who were always in my
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face. Yes, yes, he remembers us.
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00:07:01,490 --> 00:07:03,660
Those were the happiest times of our
lives.
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And there it is.
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Felina, got something for you.
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Oh, thank you so much. Thank you, Todd.
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Thank you.
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I'll get my checkbook.
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Whoa, how'd you do that?
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Easy, man. I pull some chick's ring out
of her drain just about every damn day.
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And they always hug you like that?
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And that ain't all they do.
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Whoa, really?
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We want to be plumbers. Yes.
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Teach us, Todd.
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Teach us the way of the pipe.
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You know, maybe I do owe you for all the
crap I did back in the day.
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They call it bullying now, I guess.
117
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Yeah, bullying is cool.
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Yeah, I'm doing a job on Fifth and
Green. Be there tomorrow, and you can
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your education.
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Leave us.
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Todd is going to turn us into plumbers.
122
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And then we will score.
123
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By the end of the day, we can test the
hookup to the street.
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00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:11,610
Todd! Hey, Todd! Todd!
125
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It's us!
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Yeah, Todd.
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We got here early.
128
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So when do we start scoring?
129
00:08:20,230 --> 00:08:24,310
Got no time to screw around, asswipes.
We gotta lay a lot of pipe today.
130
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Shut up!
131
00:08:28,470 --> 00:08:30,090
Okay, I'll walk you through this.
132
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First, we're gonna cut some two -inch
holes.
133
00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:36,080
I said shut up!
134
00:08:36,620 --> 00:08:37,670
Sorry, Todd.
135
00:08:37,780 --> 00:08:42,479
You're, like, so cool that sometimes
when you say things, I, like, get
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00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:46,360
distracted and... Jesus Christ, you
dumbass! Put that down now!
137
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,960
You know what?
138
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,500
I got a better job for you two.
139
00:08:54,580 --> 00:09:00,000
So... What I need you two dickheads to
do is go down there, find the shit pipe,
140
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and clean it out.
141
00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:04,300
Really? You'd trust us with that?
142
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:06,490
Fair warning.
143
00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:10,760
You're going to find all kinds of
excrement, and I do mean all kinds.
144
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Plus, motor oil, congealed fat, razor
blades, things of this nature.
145
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Usually we use a router, but this job
calls for bare hands.
146
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:21,800
Makes sense to me.
147
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Yeah, sounds right.
148
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,210
Goggles off.
149
00:09:25,211 --> 00:09:25,999
Gloves off.
150
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,480
Take your time. Make sure you touch
everything.
151
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:29,770
We will, Todd.
152
00:09:29,780 --> 00:09:31,100
You can count on us.
153
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,180
I can't believe we're doing this on day
one.
154
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:37,330
Yep.
155
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,300
This kicks ass.
156
00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:41,120
Really something, you know.
157
00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:43,320
Ooh, there's some excrement.
158
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Wow, butthead.
159
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This must be what plumbers smell like.
160
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:54,310
That's right. When chicks get a whiff of
this, they're gonna go crazy.
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00:09:55,060 --> 00:09:56,110
Oh, yeah.
162
00:09:56,980 --> 00:09:58,300
Bad news, pussies.
163
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Since you guys went in the shit pipe,
there's been a downturn in the plumbing
164
00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:03,600
business. You're fired.
165
00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:06,390
Well, at least we helped you out, you
know?
166
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:09,620
Uh, you didn't. I just made you touch a
lot of shit.
167
00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:11,290
Cool, I mean.
168
00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:13,180
But you're gonna pay us, right?
169
00:10:14,220 --> 00:10:15,740
No, I'm not gonna do that.
170
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:17,130
Yeah, Beavis.
171
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:18,620
He's not gonna do that.
172
00:10:21,219 --> 00:10:23,020
Dumbass. I got a better idea.
173
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,940
Just like old times, you know.
174
00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:37,950
Yeah.
175
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,100
Makes me feel young again.
176
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,610
Yeah, it was nice reconnecting with him
and stuff, you know.
177
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:47,780
Pretty good day, you know.
178
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,800
It was the best day of my life.
179
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:55,400
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