Original subtitles

♪ Come and knock on our door ♪ ♪ Come and knock on our door ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪ ♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

♪ Where the kisses are hers and hers and his ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪ ♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪

♪ Take a step that is new ♪ ♪ Take a step that is new ♪

♪ We've a lovable space that needs your face ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ You'll see that life is a ball again ♪

♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪ ♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three is company too ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous Three is company too ♪♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birth... ♪

♪ Jack ♪

♪ Happy ♪♪ Boy, you need a lot of air for this.

I picked the right man for the job.

Have you any idea where you'd like me to put these balloons?

Yes.

But just hang 'em on the wall anyway.

Why are we doing all this for Jack? You didn't

go to this much trouble for my birthday.

That's not true.

I had a wonderful present for you your last birthday.

I never understood why you didn't want it.

I had a headache.

Stanley, do you remember what happened on my 35th birthday?

Wasn't that the day Pearl Harbor got bombed?

Close. It was the day you got bombed...

because I walked out on you.

- You did? - Of course I did.

I was gone for three hours.

And then I came back.

That must have been why I got bombed.

You know perfectly well that I left you, Stanley Roper,

and you know why I left you too.

It was that bleached blonde up in 307.

- What about her? - You were always up in her apartment,

inspecting her pipes.

Just doing my job. That's all.

You spent so much time up there that I was

getting suspicious that something was happening.

Then why'd you come back?

Well, I figured you spent a lot of time in our apartment too,

and nothing ever happened here.

Listen, why don't those kids give the party upstairs?

Because they want Jack to be surprised.

Why don't you try to be nice to him?

Why should I be nice to him?

Well, I told you. They want Jack to be surprised.

How's your cake comin'? It's all finished.

Well, let me see. Let me see.

What do you think?

Great. Look.

"Happy Birthda"?

Where's the "Y"? Oh.

Oh.

And where's the Jack? As in "Happy birthday, Jack"?

Do you think we need it? I mean, after all, he knows it's his birthday...

and he knows his name is Jack.

And we're not gonna be singing "Happy birthday, Harry."

That makes sense.

Oh, Chrissy, how are we gonna get Jack down to the Ropers' apartment?

Oh, that's easy. You see, when he comes in,

I'm gonna say... "Oh, we're out of orange juice,"

which we both know is his favorite drink.

So he'll go down to the market where... "Surprise!"

And Mrs. Roper will be waiting to take him to The Regal Beagle, where... surprise!

Mr. Roper will just happen to be waiting for a telephone call from me...

telling him to come right back with Jack... surprise!

Chrissy, honey, when Jack comes in, why don't you just say,

"Let's me and you go for a walk on the beach,"

then keep him there half an hour and come back.

Yeah. That might work too.

Aren't you gonna put a border on this cake?

Oh, yeah.

Huh.

Mmm. Not bad. Mmm.

Now put some on the cake.

Oh, hi. Oh, I'm sorry. I must have the wrong apartment.

Oh, who did you want? I was looking for a man.

Who isn't?

I thought Jack Tripper lived here.

Oh, yeah. He does. Oh, well, in that case,

will you tell him Susan Walters is here?

Oh. Well, um, I would,

but, see, he's not here right now.

But we expect him back real soon.

Oh, good. I'll wait.

Are you the cleaning lady?

No. I live here.

And, uh, this, uh... this here is my roommate, Chrissy Snow.

Oh, hi. Hello. I'm Susan Walters.

Oh, I'm Janet Wood. Uh, Susan is a friend of Jack's.

Let me get this straight. You're all roommates?

Yeah. Yeah. But we're just good friends. That's all.

Oh, right. We wouldn't want you to think there was anything more.

Why would I think that?

Well, Susan, we should apologize.

I mean, we don't usually walk around looking like this.

Oh, I never judge by appearances.

After all, people can't help the way they look.

Are you and Jack good friends?

- Yes, we are. - How good?

- Chrissy! - We're very close.

Oh, really? How close?

I mean, uh, that must have been very nice.

Yes, it is.

Funny, Jack never mentioned you before.

But then again, he never talks about any of his affairs.

I mean, he never talks about any of his relations.

I mean... Uh, Susan... Susan, have, uh, you been seeing a lot of Jack?

Not lately. Uh, I've been doing a lot of flying.

Oh, yeah, I see. Right. Oh, sure. With him on the ground and you in the air.

Must have been hard for your two to connect.

I mean, hard to get it together.

I mean, I think I'm doing it again.

Uh, Susan, we expect Jack back real soon. You see, this is his birthday.

His birthday? Uh-huh.

- And we're planning a big surprise. - But nothing like yours.

I had no idea it was his birthday. Well...

May I use your bathroom to freshen up?

Oh.

Sure.

The, uh... The bathroom is right in there.

Oh. Thank you. Sure.

That has to freshen up?

Boy, all the time we thought Jack was out cooking,

he was really out cooking.

Hi.

What? Did I... Did I say something funny?

Jack... There's a girl here to see you.

Yeah?

I don't see her. She's in the bathroom.

Oh. Who is it?

We'll give you a hint. Coffee, tea or milk?

I'm not thirsty.

♪ You light up my life ♪

♪ You give me hope ♪ Oh, no.

♪♪ That's Susan.

Are you kidding me? That's Susan Walters.

How'd you guess? Guess? I'd recognize those lungs anywhere.

Oh, no. I can't bel... This is all I need. Susan he... Oh, no.

Jack, are you all right? Do you want to sit down?

You mean I'm still standing? ♪♪

Jack, what kind of relationship did you two have?

Well, at first it was very good. ♪♪

Well, what happened?

Chrissy, it's such a long story...

She left me.

Doesn't sound long to me.

Yeah, it's... it's just as well. It became so painful just seeing her.

It was like a drug. I mean, I...

Every time I spoke her name or heard... or heard somebody talk about her,

I was like Jell-O.

Oh, now, come on. You're exaggerating.

Exaggerating? Janet, I... I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep.

I got stomachaches and headaches.

Well, why didn't you stay away from her?

And make myself miserable?

Hey, are you saying that she left you more than once? Are you kidding, Chrissy?

She filed me away so many times I thought I had a catalog number.

Aw, poor Jack.

Yeah. Well, I... I finally played my last card.

You know, I really wanted to hold onto her. You know what I'm talking about?

So I... I suggested that we make our relationship permanent.

Well, she walked out on me, and I never saw her again.

Oh, Chrissy, I don't know.

What did I miss? What did I miss? Huh?

That is so strange, because she acted like she really liked you a lot.

Yeah? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, me and every other man across the country. I was just her L.A. connection.

I gotta get out of here. Aren't you gonna stay and say hello?

No way. If I say hello, it's good-bye.

One look at her with those and that and the... I gotta get out of here.

No.

Jack, if you don't face up to her now, you will never get over her.

Huh? Don't you see?

This is a perfect opportunity for you to prove to yourself that it is really over.

Yeah. Yeah. You're right. That's good. Thank you, Janet.

You know, it's been over a year since I've seen her.

I've matured a lot since then. Whoa.

You know what I mean. Yeah.

Just because she's in the next room, I don't have to fall to pieces. Look at this.

Get this off of me! See? I can't deal with this. Make an excuse.

Yes, you can. No, sit. Sit down. Listen.

All you have to do is just be cool.

- All right. Be cool. I'll be an iceberg. - Yeah!

I'll be like Bogey in Casablanca.

Remember when Ingrid Bergman came crawling to him?

He showed no mercy. He was an iceberg.

Jack!

- Hello, Susan. - How are you, Jack?

Quite well. And yourself?

So, Susan, what brings you to Los Angeles?

Oh, don't you know? I came in for your birthday.

You remembered my birthday?

Oh, how could I forget?

Do you remember how we celebrated my birthday last year?

Oh, Susan!

Jack, want to go for a walk with me on the beach?

Susan, Susan.

Jack, Jack.

Sick, sick.

Oh. What do you say we celebrate our reunion?

I'll open up a bottle of wine. Oh, no. Let's go out.

I feel it's a little crowded in here.

That's 'cause you're standing so close to Jack.

You're sweet.

Susan, let's go to The Regal Beagle. Oh, anything you say.

- You can't go! - Why not?

You're supposed to go for a walk with me.

Chrissy, I'll take a rain check on that. All right?

I can't wait till it rains. I want to go for a walk right now.

She's a pushy little thing, isn't she? Excuse me.

Well, when will you be back?

Que será, será.

That's too late.

Some iceberg.

He went down like the Titanic.

I'm really worried. Me too, Chrissy. Me too.

It looks like we're gonna lose him.

He's gonna get hurt. And we're gonna have to cook our own meals.

She's gonna break his heart. And we're gonna have to cook our own meals.

His whole life will be ruined.

And we're gonna have to cook our own meals.

Oh, Janet! I just thought of something! What?

If she takes Jack away, we're gonna have to cook our own meals.

Chrissy! Chrissy, how can you think of food at a time like this?

I'm sorry. Well, all right.

Oh, Janet, what are we gonna do?

Chrissy, please. I don't know. I... I... Yes, I do.

Yes, I do. We're gonna get Jack by himself and knock some sense into his head.

Oh, that's a great idea.

We'll do it at the surprise party. We'll take him aside...

That won't work. He doesn't know there's gonna be a surprise party.

You were supposed to take him there, remember? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I can't do that now 'cause he's with Susan.

No. Yes, you can.

Yes, you can, Chrissy. You can just go down to The Regal Beagle...

and pry him away from her. With what? A crowbar?

You do not need any tools.

You can just use the equipment that you've got.

Are you saying... Do you want Jack to be hurt again?

No. All right. Then get down to The Regal Beagle...

and make him forget all about Susan.

Chrissy, all you have to do is just be alluring and be seductive... sexy.

Well, do you think I can do it?

Oh, yes, yes!

What has she got that you haven't got? Jack.

Not for long, Chrissy. Now come on.

We gotta get you into some working clothes.

Oh! I don't have work clothes. This will work.

To you.

To us. Tonight.

To... Oh.

Oh, my goodness. Look at how late it's getting.

Oh, Jack, I've missed you.

You missed me? Oh, yes.

I should never have let you run away from me like that.

That's funny. I always thought you were the one who left.

You didn't forget me, did you?

How could I forget you?

Oh, Susan, I used to think of you flying everywhere...

Over the land and sea, those hills and valleys.

Oh, Jack, I want to fly with you. Where?

Oh, you... Oh, you mean you want to... Oh, fly with me.

That's great. Ohh. What do you say?

Is it time for takeoff?

Well, yeah. I mean, I'm...

Once we're up, we'll never come down.

Oh, Susan, Susan.

Hi.

Hi.

What?

Hi.

Chrissy, I can't hear you. Speak up. I said hi!

Hi. Hi.

I miss you so much, my darling.

"Darling"? All right, Chrissy. What's the joke?

I need you back at the apartment.

And I do mean need you.

Are you all right?

Only when I'm with you.

What do you say you and me...

You and me what? You know.

Is there something in your eye?

Just you, big fella.

Oh! Oh!

Oh, Jack. Oh! Oh!

Oh, excuse me. I'm so sorry.

Chrissy! Yes?

Go home. But... Go home. Now!

Oh, Susan, I'm... I'm so sorry. I don't know

what came over her. Now, where were we...

before that strange creature so rudely interrupted?

Well, you were about ready to take it off. I mean, take off.

I remember.

This time it's for keeps, huh, Susan?

This time it's for keeps, Roger.

Roger? Hi, Susan.

Hello, Roger. I thought you were in Hong Kong.

No, that's Timmy. Mind if I sit down, pal? Thanks. As a matter of fact,

we were having a private conversation... Uh, Jack,

between the, uh... This is Captain Chadway.

Roger, this is Jack Tripper.

Nice to meet you. How's your strokes, baby?

Uh, tennis. He means tennis. We played tennis once.

Oh. Oh. What, you work for the same airline?

Work and play, huh, baby?

Listen, why don't we get going, Susan? What? Oh, sure.

Uh, Jack and I are old friends.

Oh? Yeah, friends for keeps, huh, Susan?

That's right, darling.

That's right, Roger.

Let's get going. Oh, I'm sorry.

Jack! Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine. I just got a little jolt. That's all.

Where's Jack? He should have been here a half hour ago.

Don't worry. He'll be here.

I'm not worried about him. I'm getting hungry.

Oh, Stanley, can't you wait?

No. When a person wants something bad enough, he ought to get it.

I couldn't agree with you more.

There he is.

Okay, everybody. All right. Here. Mrs. Roper. And Mr. Roper.

All right. I'll turn out the lights. Okay.

Stanley, take off that silly nose.

I did take it off.

Oh.

I'm opening the door right now!

Surprise!

Oh, you shouldn't have.

Get in here.

All right, Chrissy. All right. Now, where is Jack?

He's still at The Regal Beagle.

You mean you weren't able to... No.

I acted as sexy as I could, and he wouldn't even look at me.

What did you expect when you sent a woman to do a man's job?

You mean he's not even coming to his own birthday party?

- No. - Wait a minute.

You mean I blew two and a half bucks for those paper plates for nothing?

Stanley. I could have gotten...

Christmas leftovers for a buck and a quarter. Stanley!

No. Am I cheap? No, I go all out.

I get the expensive happy birthday ones.

Save your breath, Stanley. I don't have any left.

It's all in your balloons.

I thought this was gonna be such a fun evening.

Hi. Oh, Jack, it's so wonderful to see you!

He's here! He's here!

Yeah, but he's still with her.

Oh, St-St-Stanley, t-turn out the lights.

Oh. Everybody ready? Uh-huh.

Okay? Ready, set... Okay. Here I go.

Surprise!

Thank you. Oh, happy birthday, Jack.

Thank you, Mrs. Roper.

Excuse me. Happy birthday, Jack.

Happy birthday.

Chrissy, thank you so... Look at... Oh, thank you, everybody.

I see you brought your own gift. Yes.

No, we just came, uh, to get some of Susan's things.

Uh, Mr. Roper, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine...

who's just passing through L.A., Susan Walters.

Who? Hi.

Hi. Hi.

And now, uh, I have a surprise for all of you.

I'm getting married.

Who's the lucky guy?

Oh, Jack, you're not...

Yep. As a matter of fact, I'm getting married first thing in the morning.

You see, I have this uncle who's a judge... What?

Jack, you don't have... I have this uncle who's a judge...

Just a minute. What's today? Thursday.

Oh, I almost forgot.

I have a flight out of L.A.X. in two hours.

Aw.

I thought you might.

Well, I really have to run. You will forgive me, won't you, Jack?

Forgive you? I thank you.

Oh.

Bye. Good-bye, Susan.

Jack. Jack, what happened? Oh, you had to be there.

Where? Under the table.

- Oh. - What's all this about you getting married?

- It was just a joke. - It would have to be, wouldn't it?

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday, dear Jack ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Happy birthday to you ♪♪

Yea!

Okay, Jack. Now, close your eyes and make a wish,

then blow out the candles.

Here.

What did you wish for?

All I can tell you is I wished for something good to happen to all of us here.

Aw. If you don't get any sleep tonight, Stanley,

you can blame it on Jack's wish.

Well, come on, Jack. Cut the cake. Oh, okay.

Bet you'll never guess who baked it.

U.S. Steel?

Three's Company was videotaped...

in front of a studio audience.

Closed-Captioned By Captions, Inc., Los Angeles