Original subtitles

♪ Come and knock on our door ♪ ♪ Come and knock on our door ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪ ♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

♪ Where the kisses are hers and hers and his ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪ ♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪

♪ Take a step that is new ♪ ♪ Take a step that is new ♪

♪ We've a lovable space that needs your face ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ You'll see that life is a ball again ♪

♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪ ♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three is company too ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous Three is company too ♪♪

Hello? Anybody home?

In here.

Oh, boy, I'm beat.

Yeah, you look pretty worn out.

Oh, that's just great, Jack.

I come home after a miserable day at the office,

and the first thing I hear is I look terrible.

I'm sorry. You look marvelous.

Don't lie to me, Jack! I look terrible.

The office was a madhouse, and the bus ride home was even worse.

What happened?

Well, the bus was packed, and I was standing next to this guy,

who asked me if I wanted to sit down, and that started a fight.

Why? His wife didn't want to give up her seat.

Some women are so unreasonable.

Yeah. How'd you do today?

- Lousy. - Oh, no job?

Oh, there's just no part-time jobs around anymore, Chrissy.

Boy, I'm sorry. Listen to...

Oh, hi, everybody. Hey, babe.

Oh, you had another bad day, huh?

Oh, Jack, my back is killing me.

And my feets hurt and my neck is stiff.

A little tension, huh?

Let the skilled fingers of Dr. Tripper go to work.

Eww!

Bwah! Ow! Gee!

Shh. Poor baby. Oh!

How's that? Oh, Jack, more please.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Don't forget the "poor baby" part.

Poor baby! Yeah!

Poor baby. Is that better?

Oh, yeah, that's great. The poor baby!

Hey, what about the poor baby over here?

Two hands, no waiting. Where does it hurt?

Well, I've been sitting all day. I can fix that.

Hey!

My arms are killing me. Arms?

Yeah, what do you think I was doing when I was sitting? I was typing.

Ah, arms. Sure.

Yes, Chrissy!

Feels so good. Don't forget the poor baby over here.

Of course. Oh, yeah!

Oh, and me. Hey, there's enough to go around.

Yes. Gee, I wish I had a steady job.

Then I could come home exhausted too. Uh-uh.

That's no good. If we all worked, then we'd have to massage each other.

That has a nice ring to it.

Hey, Jack, I just had a thought here.

You know, I've been going absolutely nuts down at the flower shop.

We're so busy. We could use extra help down there.

Janet, I've got a better idea.

Instead of getting extra help, why don't you hire Jack?

Gosh, Chrissy, that's a great idea.

Well, I come up with them. I'm not dumb, you know.

What do you say, Jack? Well, I love it.

Look. You got classes in the morning, yeah?

Okay, so you could work afternoons and on Saturdays?

Janet, that would be great, but can you put me on just like that?

Well, Mr. Compton made me acting manager, didn't he?

That's fantastic! I can't believe it!

Oh, Janet, you and I working together is gonna be absolutely sensational.

I love it. Thank you. Oh, you're welcome.

Oh, would you stop?

It was my idea. Get over here!

Hey, with the... Hey, with the hugging.

See? See how this goes? Really... Yeah.

Very lightly actually. See? Okay. Okay.

All righty. I'll show you what else I want you to do.

Now, when the flowers are delivered to us, they're not...

Hello? Yeah.

When the flowers are delivered, they're not ready for sale, okay?

We have to strip and clean them.

Do you want me to strip already? What?

Okay. Jack, stop that.

When do you spread the pollen on me?

Jack. Jack, all right. Now that's enough. Just pay attention.

See? Gee, Jack, look!

Go ahead. Now down here, the leaves at the bottom,

they have to be stripped away, okay? Yeah.

You use this, and you go...

Okay. All right. You got that? Think you can do it?

Sure. Okay. Take this. Careful.

Go in back and do these and the rest of the shipment.

Gotcha. Okay.

Good afternoon. Can I help you?

I'd like something special for my anniversary.

Oh. Well, we could make up a nice arrangement. How much do you wanna spend?

Well, I really hadn't thought about it. Possibly...

Excuse me, please, but I'm in a hurry.

Yes, Mrs. Simpson. I'll be with you in just a moment.

I really am in a hurry. Uh, yes, ma'am.

Jack! I'm sorry, sir.

What can I get for $15?

Well, I could make a nice arrangement... I'm gonna have to leave...

unless you wait on me right away. I'm sorry. Jack!

I want them delivered to this address. Yes, sir.

Oh, I'm sorry to be a nuisance, but... Then why are you?

I beg your pardon. J-Jack? Jack!

Did I hear you call me? Yes, you did. Where were you?

I was in the back, stripping.

Oh, uh, Jack, no. Please, give me that.

Over here. Yeah. If you'll just wait on this lady.

She's in quite a hurry. Oh, is it an emergency?

Oh, no, I just hate waiting.

Now, if you'll just help me with the flowers over there.

And would you encl... Enclose that card?

Okay. Let me see here.

"To my darling sweetheart of 35 wonderful years.

From your one-and-only Andy."

Well, that's real sweet.

Yeah, that oughta hold the old bat for a while.

No. I can't decide.

I want something nice to cheer up a very old man.

How about a very young woman?

Really, I can't make up my mind.

Flowers are beautiful, but a plant lasts for so long.

How old is he? Eighty-seven.

Take the flowers.

Uh, okay.

There's your receipt. And I thank you very much.

You're welcome.

Uh, uh, Jack. I'll take care of Mrs. Simpson.

That's all right. I was just... No, that's okay.

You just go in the back. And next time when I call, come.

Janet, I can deal with... Jack, would you just go in the back?

Now, Mrs. Simpson, could I suggest a nice basket of fresh flowers,

with some little plants mixed in?

Oh, that sounds lovely! Oh, good.

Now, I'd like you to enclose this card and send it to this address.

Uh-huh. And charge it to my account.

- Okay. Thank you very much. - Bye.

Bye-bye. Oh, Janet.

Mrs. Roper, hi.

Janet, uh, I want a man to send me flowers.

Oh, who doesn't? Oh, no, no, no.

These flowers are for Mr. Roper.

Oh, you want me to get Mr. Roper to send you some flowers?

No, no, no! They're for Mr. Roper to see.

Another man's gonna send them to me.

Th-There's another man?

Oh, no! No?

No, no, no. I want Mr. Roper to think...

there's another man.

But I like your idea better.

Oh, okay. Well, let me see.

In that case... Ooh, ooh! Hey, how about roses?

Oh, roses would be perfect!

They give Stanley hay fever.

Jack! Yeah?

Oh, hi, Mrs. Roper. Hi, Jack.

You know those things have got thorns on them?

Don't be such a baby. I gotta have gloves or something.

Jack, could you go in the back and get Mrs. Roper some fresh roses?

Yes, sir.

Oh, excuse me. Uh...

Hi. Can I help you to something? Me, for example.

W-Well, I had something a little different in mind.

What was that? Jack, excuse me. I can take care of this.

No, I can handle her. I don't mean literally.

I'd never touch you or anything. Jack!

Just go in the back and get Mrs. Roper some fresh roses.

I was just trying to be helpful. By hitting on a customer?

That was not hitting on a customer.

This is hitting on a customer.

No. No!

Jack, no! Now come on.

Stop being childish, all right?

I'm just trying to have some fun.

Well, look, Jack. This is a place of business, okay?

If you wanna have fun, have it at home. Good idea.

How do we get rid of Chrissy? Jack, cut it out!

Now look. Just go in the back...

and get Mrs. Roper some fresh roses. Okay, Janet. Come on.

Jack, just go get the roses!

I'd better do what I'm told, otherwise teacher will make me stay after work.

Did you have a nice day?

Peachy.

- Where's Janet? - Who?

Did you forget her?

What a wonderful idea!

- Jack, what happened? - Oh, she stopped off at the supermarket.

Hey, Jack, I can't believe you didn't wait for me.

Oh, I'm sorry. Did you order me to? What?

Hey, Jack. What's wrong with you?

- What's wrong with me? - What is wrong with both of you?

Here, Chrissy. Could you just put these in the kitchen, please?

But I just... Chrissy! Chrissy!

You'd better do it before Simone Legree gets her whip out.

Jack, what do you mean by that?

What do you mean by that? Well, what?

You know darn well what I mean by that.

What do you mean by what? Oh, hi, Mr. Roper.

Come on in. We're just having a private fight.

Come on. Join us.

Listen, these flowers came from your shop today. Do you know who ordered them?

Doesn't it say on the card? It just says "from a mysterious admirer."

Well, maybe it's that husky sailor who keeps coming into the Regal Beagle.

You think so?

Well, I've seen the way he looks at you over his glass of beer.

These aren't for me. These are for Helen.

It's the second bouquet that came today.

Didn't you see the guy who ordered them?

No, Mr. Roper. I didn't see a man order flowers for your wife.

You haven't seen any strange men hanging around here, have you?

No such luck.

You know, I just thought of something.

I-If it was signed from an admirer,

it's gotta be from somebody who hasn't met her.

I wonder who could be sending flowers to Mrs. Roper. Mrs. Roper.

That's what I said. No, Chrissy, she means that Mrs. Roper...

I'm quite capable of explaining, thank you. See, Mrs. Roper came in...

Oh, excuse me, I forgot. Yeah, you're quite capable of anything, aren't you?

Jack, what do you mean by that?

What do you mean by that? Jack!

Hold it. Don't start that again. What is it with you two?

This is no way for friends to behave. Yeah!

I thought we were friends until I went to work for a friend,

and that friend puts me down in front of a friend.

What? Oh, no. Oh, come on, Jack.

Don't you think you're overreacting?

Moi? Overreacting?

Overreacting? I never overreact!

Look, Jack, look. We are friends here in the apartment.

But not in the shop, huh? At the shop, it's business.

And of course, business is business. Well, business is business.

Hey, listen, maybe... Chrissy, just mind your own business!

Yeah! Well, wait. Jack! Janet!

Oh, boy. Oh, no!

Here you go. And thank you very much. Thank you.

Hmm.

Oh. Oh, hey, Jack?

Yo! You!

That was pretty quick.

When you call, it is my duty to be there, Miss Wood.

Oh, Jack. Are you still on that kick?

Okay. All right.

Please, put that in the back.

Yes, ma'am!

Okay.

Arcade Florist. May I help you? Oh, hi, Mr. Compton.

Busy? Oh, yeah. We are up to our... Asters?

Oh, oh, sure. No, no, no, no, yeah.

I can send some asters to the Ventura branch.

Uh-huh. Sure.

No, Mr. Compton, I will not forget the Benson wedding.

I promise.

Okay. All right. Bye-bye.

That was the boss.

He only calls here about 20 times a day to check up on me.

And then he says, "As long as you're there, Janet, I don't worry about a thing."

Well, at least with Mr. Compton around,

we're not going to have to worry about needing fertilizer.

Is there anything else I can do for you, madam?

Okay. All right, Jack.

This is getting to be a real drag. Now loosen up.

- How loose would you like me? - Jack, what do you think...

Sorry.

Okay. Okay. All right.

Um, about yesterday.

Uh, look. I know that sometimes...

I get a little carried away with my job,

and I forget to say please and thank you, but I am sorry, Jack.

So, could we just forgive and forget, okay?

Is that an order, Miss Wood?

Jack, would you please just stop thinking about work for a minute?

Okay, for a minute.

Stop that. Okay, I'll think about work again.

Jack!

You don't look like you're thinking about work.

You look like you're thinking about strangling me.

Oh, no, I never mix business with pleasure.

- Ow! Ow! Ow! - What are you doing?

Oh, just rearranging the flowers, dear.

Oh, Stanley, did you notice my horoscope in the paper?

It says that today is my lucky day.

So you'd better be careful crossing the street.

Oh, look at these flowers, Stanley.

Aren't they lovely?

Did you ever notice how flowers just seem to brighten up a room?

Even a room that you're in.

Hey, Stanley. Get the door, will you?

I'm reading! Well, I'm getting dressed.

You wouldn't want me to come there half naked, would you?

Certainly not. I wouldn't want you to scare anybody.

Who is it? A box of candy for Mrs. Roper.

Shove it under the door.

I can't. They're hard centers.

Let me see that card. Oh!

"From your secret admirer." Again?

Oh, isn't that sweet?

Who is it, Helen? Who you getting all the candy and flowers from? Answer me!

I don't know. Just some unknown admirer.

Who probably has his binoculars trained on me right now.

Jack, would you, uh, put those roses in the refrigerator, please?

Certainly.

I put them in the refrigerator, right next to your heart.

Okay, Jack. I've had just about...

- Janet! - What?

Oh, Mr. Compton. What are you doing here?

I just heard from Mr. Benson. Yeah?

He's a bit miffed because his daughter got married today...

without benefit of flowers.

Oh! Oh! Oh! The Benson wedding.

I counted on you. I trusted you and look what happens.

Oh, Mr. Compton, I-I don't know what to say. I'm so...

Janet, I'm very disappointed in you. I put you in charge here.

But I think I made a mistake.

Wait a minute, Mr. Compton.

Janet told me to deliver those flowers.

Why didn't you deliver them? I forgot.

You forgot. You forgot?

She told me first thing in the morning, but I...

Did you remind him again in the afternoon? She did remind me.

And? I forgot.

You couldn't remember long enough to make a delivery? What were you thinking of?

I forget.

Nobody has this bad of memory.

The only thing that should have been on your mind was that wedding.

What wedding?

Mr. Compton. Mr. Compton, please.

No, don't listen to him. It was my fault.

I don't know how, but I thought that that wedding was next Saturday.

Nice try, Janet. No, I...

Well, Ripper? Uh, Tripper. Jack... It's a common mistake.

Well, what do you got to say for yourself?

Uh, how about good-bye?

Oh, no. Oh, no, Jack. Jack. Janet!

What? Let him go.

Oh, no, no. Jack.

Mmm, delicious!

Hey, you want one, Stanley?

How 'bout a hazelnut crunch?

I'm gonna find out who it is. You know, I got my ways.

Who was the guy that used to send you all that poetry?

The guy with the big nose.

Clive? He didn't have a big nose.

He just had a small face.

How 'bout an English toffee?

You're enjoying this, aren't you?

Well, let me tell you something.

Even though I have an iron willpower, I got a temper.

And if I ever lose my temper, you're gonna see blood on the moon!

Oh, Stanley, we're communicating.

Uh, I got it. That character in your flower arranging class.

The one... The one in the tweeds with the small mustache.

Margaret Wilson?

Come on, Helen. Who is it?

How 'bout a chocolate finger?

Hi. Hi, Janet. Where's Jack?

What? I said, "Where's Jack?"

I don't know, Chrissy. I haven't...

I haven't seen him. I don't know.

- You two still fighting at work? - Oh, no, not at work we're not.

- He got fired. - How could you?

No, no, Chrissy, I didn't fire him. Mr. Compton did.

Oh, too chicken to do your own dirty work, huh?

No, no, Chrissy. See, what happened... I don't believe it.

Listen, Mr... Hi. Hi.

Oh, after you, dear.

Thank you, Stanley.

Uh, do you wanna tell them, dear?

Oh, no, you tell them, precious.

It was your idea. And a very good one at that.

Thank you, Stanley.

Stanley and I wanna invite you to The Regal Beagle for a celebration.

Oh, great. What are we gonna celebrate?

The opening of Stanley's eyes.

He no longer takes me for granted,

do you, dear?

Why don't you go change, honey bun?

I'm gonna check on their leaky faucet.

All right, Stanley. Don't be too long though.

Maybe we'll have time to celebrate before we celebrate.

Hey, Mr. Roper, we don't have a leaky faucet.

I know you don't have a leaky faucet. I came here because I know...

where all those flowers are coming from.

You know who the secret admirer is?

Sure. The secret admirer just walked out that door.

How'd you find out it was Mrs. Roper?

I got hold of your delivery boy, and I gave him a nice fat tip.

Bernie? Bernie, that nice kid?

He finked on Mrs. Roper 'cause you paid him?

A quarter's a quarter.

Yeah, but you don't seem to be very angry.

Angry? Why should I be angry? She did it 'cause she was crazy about me.

I mean, why blame the poor woman for that?

Can you believe it?

Oh, hey, Chrissy, look. While we freshen up, let me explain about Jack and I.

Oh, no. And when Jack gets back, don't you two start fighting...

and spoil their party. Chrissy, I have no...

I am getting sick of it. Every time you two get together lately, you start fighting.

I am the one who gets caught in the middle.

You're not gonna get caught in the middle, Chrissy. Listen to me.

Wh... Oh, Jack. I gotta talk to you.

Oh, no, you don't. I'm listening, Janet.

Now, don't listen to her, Jack. Chrissy, look.

What you did this af... Can't you let bygones be bygones?

It's okay. It's okay. Don't you hear him?

It's o... It's okay?

Oh, Jack, honey. Jack, thank you.

See, I knew I'd end up getting caught in the middle.

Oh. Honey, I gotta apologize.

Wow. Don't apologize.

Where have you been?

I was just thinking about what you said,

about my not paying any attention to you.

Anyway, I got you these.

Oh, Stanley!

Oh, they're just a few flowers. That's all.

Oh, they're lovely.

And after all the things I said.

Oh, and you enclosed a note too.

I did?

"To Granny, rest in peace"?

You stole them from the cemetery!

Helen, it's the thought that counts!

You cheap... You cheap bum, you! Don't, Helen.

I can explain. You wouldn't spend two...

Two cents on flowers for your wife!

Let me explain! You cheap bum, you!

Oh, I'll never forgive you for that!

I can... I can explain!

Three's Company was videotaped...

in front of a studio audience.

Closed-Captioned By Captions, Inc., Los Angeles