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♪ Come and knock on our door ♪
♪ Come and knock on our door ♪
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♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
3
00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:16,748
♪ Where the kisses are
hers and hers and his ♪
4
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:20,119
♪ Three's company too ♪
5
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:23,222
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
6
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:26,458
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
7
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,495
♪ We've a lovable space
that needs your face ♪
8
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,796
♪ Three's company too ♪
9
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:35,234
♪ You'll see that
life is a ball again ♪
10
00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:38,870
♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪
11
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:41,973
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
12
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:44,376
♪ Three is company too ♪
13
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♪ Down at our rendezvous
Three is company too ♪♪
14
00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:13,939
No, Ralph. I'm busy tomorrow.
15
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:16,253
No, I'm busy next week too.
16
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:18,210
Yeah, sure. Yeah.
17
00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:21,425
If I ever need more wrestling
lessons, I'll be glad to go out with you.
18
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:23,382
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Bye.
19
00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:27,219
Don't you just hate it when
men try to manhandle you?
20
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:29,754
I don't remember.
21
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:34,025
Oh, you fixed it!
What was wrong?
22
00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:36,027
It was a short.
23
00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:38,630
You know, you
people are so careless.
24
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:41,100
You should never bend an
electrical cord. Otherwise...
25
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:45,003
What happened?
26
00:01:45,072 --> 00:01:47,672
Stanley was showing
us how not to get a shock.
27
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,876
Will you put some
clothes on? My wife's here.
28
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,346
Mind your own business, Stanley.
29
00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:57,316
What if the towel slips?
30
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,318
Mind your own business, Stanley.
31
00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:01,631
Jack, you have some
shaving cream on your face.
32
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:04,256
- Oh, thank you.
- No! Jack!
33
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:07,058
Mind your own business, Chrissy.
34
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,294
Uh, excuse me.
35
00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:14,700
Does he always walk around
like that in front of you girls?
36
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,336
No. Only after he
takes a shower.
37
00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:19,638
Do you walk around
like that in front of him?
38
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:22,941
Of course not. I wear
my towel up to here.
39
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,411
I don't understand those kids.
40
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,214
What ever happened to
good, old-fashioned modesty?
41
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,550
It's living with us, Stanley.
42
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:37,289
Hello, everybody. Oh, Janet. Hi.
43
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:39,290
Wasn't this a beautiful day?
44
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:42,828
I feel so good, and I
just love everybody.
45
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,730
Hey, who turned you
into Little Mary Sunshine?
46
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:48,533
Oh, Jack, Jack, do you
know who I saw today?
47
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,780
Guess, Jack. Go ahead.
You'll never guess.
48
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,971
Who? Peter Van Horn.
49
00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,740
Never heard of him. That's
why you'll never guess.
50
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:58,276
Have you been taking
lessons from Chrissy?
51
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:01,513
Oh, Jack. Come on, Helen.
It's time to fix my dinner.
52
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:04,516
Oh, I'll be down in a minute,
Stanley. I want to hear this.
53
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:08,387
- Okay, what's a Peter Van Horn?
- Yeah, what?
54
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,822
Well, just picture
the handsomest man,
55
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,758
a terrifically-built guy
and a wonderful athlete.
56
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:16,628
Okay, I'm thinking
of all three of them.
57
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:19,397
No, Chrissy. I'm
talking about Peter.
58
00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:22,000
He was the most popular
guy in our high school...
59
00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:24,268
Handsome, quarterback
of the football team...
60
00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:26,605
and the smoothest
dancer in the whole school.
61
00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:28,807
Do you know what they
did when he graduated?
62
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,342
Made him a god?
63
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:35,213
They retired his
class pin. Yeah, yeah.
64
00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:38,350
It had it on the chest
of every girl in school.
65
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:40,352
Including yours?
66
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,787
No, no. I didn't
have a chest then.
67
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,892
Well, come on, Janet.
What did he say?
68
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,105
Well... Well... What did
you say? How did he act?
69
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:52,431
How did you act? Wait Let
me see. Let me see. Um...
70
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:58,403
All right, in order, he said,
"Hi there," and I said, "Uhhh."
71
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:03,442
- And then he said...
- I know! No, no! I know!
72
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:06,278
He said, "Janet.
Little Janet Wood.
73
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:09,514
I can't believe it. I just
can't believe it." Right?
74
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,883
Well, that was
after. After what?
75
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:14,485
After he bumped into me
and knocked me down...
76
00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:17,422
and after he picked me up
and said, "Excuse me, miss."
77
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:20,859
- He didn't even recognize you?
- Oh, no, no, not at first.
78
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,261
So I said, "Do you
know who I am?"
79
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:25,830
And he said, "Are you
one of Charlie's Angels?"
80
00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:28,667
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
81
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:31,803
And then he said, "No, no, you
couldn't be, 'cause you're much prettier."
82
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:35,807
- Oh, you're kidding!
- And you still talked to him
after a line like that?
83
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:41,079
Jack, he doesn't need a
line. This is Peter Van Horn.
84
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:45,317
Oh, excuse me. I was talking about him
as if he was just a plain old human being.
85
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:48,387
Bad, Jack. Bad, bad, bad, bad.
86
00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:53,191
Then he said, "Janet.
Little Janet Wood," right?
87
00:04:53,259 --> 00:04:57,195
Is that what he said? Yeah,
after I told him what my name was.
88
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,179
You gonna fix my dinner, or are
you gonna let me starve to death?
89
00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:05,804
You mean I have a choice? Helen.
90
00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:09,441
Oh, come on,
Stanley. Stay a while.
91
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:13,745
This is so exciting! Janet
met an old sweetheart.
92
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,481
Oh, I wouldn't exactly
call him a sweetheart.
93
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,517
Well, an old flame.
94
00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:21,553
Try, he didn't know I existed.
95
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:26,725
- Are we gonna get to see him.
- Yes. Yes, you are. Tonight.
96
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:29,861
I've invited him over
for coffee or something.
97
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:32,297
Tell us about the
"or something."
98
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:35,667
What did you have in mind?
99
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:40,204
Oh. Oh, Jack.
Uh, I-I-I don't know.
100
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:42,507
Uh, I just don't
know what I meant.
101
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:44,609
Are you open for suggestions?
102
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,246
Helen, don't butt in.
103
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:53,752
I'm not butting in! I'd just like to know
that something's going on somewhere.
104
00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:57,522
And I'd like to know that my
dinner's going on the table.
105
00:05:57,591 --> 00:06:02,461
Oh, come on, Stanley. I want to stay
and hear more about Janet's new flame.
106
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:06,465
I'm starving. I'm not
interested in new flames.
107
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:11,470
Naturally. His pilot
light went out years ago.
108
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,847
Oh, Chrissy, do you
know what time it is?
109
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:24,850
Uh, 7:30. Oh, so he's
gonna be here any minute.
110
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:28,231
Well, don't worry. Oh,
hey, your hands are like ice!
111
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:30,522
I'm so scared. Why?
112
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:33,692
I can't help it, Chrissy. This
afternoon when I ran into Peter,
113
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:36,495
it was just like being back
in high school all over again...
114
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,497
Skinny little kid, no figure.
115
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,599
But that's all changed now.
116
00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:43,902
I know. I know. But
I can't get over it.
117
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,971
Peter Van Horn is
coming to see me.
118
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:51,142
When I was in high school, I'd have
given anything to have a date with him.
119
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:54,446
Instead, I got to go to the
prom with Stevie Gilmore.
120
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:58,316
They voted us the couple with the
brightest smile. Oh, well, that was nice.
121
00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:02,454
No, it wasn't. It was because
we both wore braces on our teeth.
122
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:05,690
Oh. Oh, Chrissy. Oh, boy.
123
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,758
What's wrong with her?
124
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:11,429
Well, you know, it's getting close
to kickoff time and she's worried.
125
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:14,532
Our Janet, the
original Miss Cool?
126
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,302
Oh, come on,
Janet. He's just a guy.
127
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:20,004
He's not the second
coming of Mick Jagger.
128
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,941
Jack, why would
he want to date me?
129
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:26,144
Why would he want to da... Yeah.
130
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:28,646
Why would he wanna da... Why?
131
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,082
Chrissy, did you ever hear
such a stupid question?
132
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:34,319
Yes. Last week at the
office, my boss asked me if I...
133
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:37,055
Chrissy, don't help me.
134
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:40,725
Janet, you are one
of the most gorgeous,
135
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:43,272
exciting, wonderful
girls I've ever met.
136
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,830
How come you never
told me that before?
137
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:48,233
Yeah, how come you
never told me that, either?
138
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,701
That's because we're friends.
139
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:54,739
And as long as I live here, I
have to think of you as just friends.
140
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:58,609
To me, you're not girls. You're
just a couple of lumpy boys.
141
00:07:58,678 --> 00:08:00,656
You're a beautiful liar, Jack.
142
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,658
I'd better go get ready now.
143
00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:04,615
Oh, Janet. Yeah?
144
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:07,551
Wanna wear my
almost Halston dress?
145
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,765
Oh! Okay?
146
00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:13,524
Oh, Chrissy, thank
you. Oh, thank you!
147
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:18,229
I have never seen Janet
like that. She's usually so...
148
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,498
An "almost Halston" dress?
149
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:25,036
Uh-huh. It's a J.C. Penney
dress with a Halston label sewn in.
150
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:28,773
That's ridiculous. He'll
never see the label.
151
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:32,510
It doesn't matter. The girl knows
it's there. That's what counts.
152
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,557
Oh, that must be Peter.
153
00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:37,849
Uh, Chrissy, how are we gonna
explain us to Mr. Wonderful?
154
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:41,019
Well, you'll think of something.
155
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:46,069
Hi. I'm looking for Janet Wood.
156
00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:48,126
Hi. Come on in.
She's getting dressed.
157
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:50,394
Oh?
158
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:54,265
Uh, w-well, I'm company, and she's
a roommate. That explains everything.
159
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:57,201
Oh, good going,
Jack. Thanks, Chrissy.
160
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,738
Uh, well, listen.
Why don't I take that?
161
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:02,051
See, we're all just
friends here. I see.
162
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,120
Well, I'm Peter Van
Horn. I'm Jack Tripper.
163
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,322
Nice to meet you. And
this is Chrissy Snow.
164
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:08,947
I'm very pleased to meet you.
165
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:12,784
Hi. I'll tell Janet
you're here. Thank you.
166
00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:15,554
Well, come in. I hear
you were quite an athlete.
167
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:18,523
Well, that was quite
a long time ago.
168
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:21,259
Say, you look pretty
athletic yourself.
169
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:24,295
I did play a little baseball.
You know, pitcher.
170
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:27,098
No kiddin'? So was I. Yeah?
171
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,311
What was your
best pitch? A slider.
172
00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:33,371
But I had an even better pitch than
that. Stand back. I'll show you. Get ready.
173
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,607
And here's Tripper
into the wind-up.
174
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,577
And the pitch.
175
00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:41,345
Hey, that's a pretty cute
trick. How do you do it?
176
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,341
Well, what you do is
you palm the ball in your
177
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:45,316
left hand and you
don't let the batter see it.
178
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,686
Then as you go into
your stretch or wind-up...
179
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,989
- Well, well.
- I'll tell you later.
180
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:55,426
Look at you!
181
00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:00,198
Ah, the skin you love to touch.
182
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:04,102
Again... and again.
183
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:12,510
Hello, Peter. Uh,
have you all met?
184
00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:16,715
Well, then if you two have somewhere
to go, I wouldn't want to hold you up.
185
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,717
We're going, Janet. Don't push.
186
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:22,253
I hope to see more of you when
I'm back in town. Yeah, I'd like that.
187
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:25,642
Glad I finally got to meet
you. Come on, Chrissy.
188
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:29,260
What do you know?
Janet hit the jackpot.
189
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,830
He's really a
nice guy, isn't he?
190
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:34,599
I can't stand him!
191
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:50,348
Chrissy, you can't just tell me you don't
like the guy. You gotta give me a reason.
192
00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:52,717
I don't trust him.
I've got this feeling.
193
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:56,021
- Feeling is not a reason.
- Yes, it is. It's gotta be a reason.
194
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:58,757
Otherwise, why
would I feel this way?
195
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:01,570
All right, Chrissy, when did
you first get this feeling? Reason.
196
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,806
Reason, feeling... What's the
difference? That's what I say.
197
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,865
You were the one who said
they weren't the same. Chrissy...
198
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:10,735
What I mean is, do
you have any proof?
199
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:13,404
Yes. I didn't like what he said.
200
00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:15,439
What did he say?
201
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,276
He said, "I'm very
pleased to meet you."
202
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,846
And? That's it.
203
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:25,083
What's wrong with saying,
"I'm very pleased to meet you"?
204
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:29,487
It's so simple.
205
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:34,025
When he said, "I'm very pleased,"
that wasn't just a plain "very," you know.
206
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:35,927
Huh?
207
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:39,164
There are "verys"
and there are "verys,"
208
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:41,866
and his "very" was
very, very strange.
209
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,902
What?
210
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:49,874
Especially when you put it
together with a double squeeze.
211
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,876
Oh, right.
212
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,514
What's a double squeeze?
213
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:58,695
I'll show you.
214
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:01,853
Okay, you be me,
and I'll be Peter, okay?
215
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:04,089
Oh, I'm you? Okay.
216
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:18,402
Okay, what do you want me to do?
217
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:23,141
What do you want me to
do? Give me your hand.
218
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,210
Okay.
219
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,079
I'm very pleased to meet you.
220
00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:33,784
He just squeezed your elbow when
he said "very"? What's wrong with that?
221
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:37,521
The squeeze had a
question mark on it!
222
00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:41,559
A question?
223
00:12:41,627 --> 00:12:45,730
Yes. "How about you and
me getting it on, baby?"
224
00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:49,934
Oh, come on, Chrissy! I can't...
225
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:54,705
It was, it was! I have met those
squeezers before, and they are no good!
226
00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:59,377
Okay, maybe you
got something there.
227
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:02,513
Would you do me a favor?
Would you do that again?
228
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:05,683
I w-want to see if I
can hear that question.
229
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:08,286
Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah.
230
00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:11,289
I'm very pleased to meet you.
231
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:15,793
I'd love to. Oh, Jack. No!
232
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:22,033
Well, this is just
like old times.
233
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:26,036
I don't know. I think I was the
only girl in school you didn't take out.
234
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:28,339
So you were the one.
235
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:32,042
You sure have changed,
Janet. In all the right places.
236
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:35,980
Oh, well, you haven't
changed very much, Peter.
237
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:38,382
Well, I've matured a little.
238
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:41,018
See, I realized the chicks
were chasing after me...
239
00:13:41,087 --> 00:13:44,322
Not because I was a terrific guy,
but because I was a football hero.
240
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:47,258
Oh, well, I'll bet the
girls still chase after you.
241
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,761
Yeah. But now it's
because I'm a terrific guy.
242
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:57,401
Uh, Peter,
243
00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:01,105
um, do you ever hear
from Charlie Benson?
244
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:04,242
Who? He was your best friend.
245
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:06,244
Oh, him. Yeah.
246
00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:09,380
Yeah, I think he got into
teaching someplace up north.
247
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,382
Oh, really? Yeah, it's a shame.
248
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,684
A smart guy like
that wasting his life.
249
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:16,287
You know, if he'd
played his cards right,
250
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:19,323
he could be doing
exactly what I'm doing.
251
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,925
Trying to undress me?
252
00:14:21,994 --> 00:14:23,927
What? Trying to...
253
00:14:23,996 --> 00:14:26,096
Hey, that's pretty funny.
254
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,000
Uh, what are you
doing now, Peter?
255
00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:33,704
I'm in sporting goods. Oh,
still playing games, huh?
256
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:36,039
What?
257
00:14:36,108 --> 00:14:38,175
S-Still pla-play...
258
00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:41,011
Oh, sure, sure. I keep fit. Oh.
259
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,214
You know, the chicks don't
like it if you let yourself go.
260
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:47,084
Say, listen, I got an idea. Hmm.
261
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:54,258
Th-Those are throw pillows, but I don't
think you should throw them on the floor.
262
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:57,194
Why don't we get comfortable?
263
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,534
Isn't that better?
Yeah, it's g-good.
264
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:06,069
It's good.
265
00:15:06,138 --> 00:15:08,071
Oops.
266
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:14,278
Excuse me. I think there's
probably someone at the door.
267
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:17,981
I'll just be getting it, and
you can just be... Oh, hi, hi.
268
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:22,753
Oh, I just wanted to come and
see if your lamp was all right.
269
00:15:24,156 --> 00:15:26,990
Lamp? Yeah, it's
fine. Well, yeah.
270
00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:29,927
Oh, good. Very good.
271
00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:33,331
Oh, Mrs. Roper, this
is Peter Van Horn.
272
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:36,099
Our landlady. Good.
273
00:15:36,168 --> 00:15:38,436
Very good.
274
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:41,539
Ah, the skin you love to touch.
275
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:45,309
Again... and again.
276
00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:51,816
Oh, Janet, did you... Did
you hear what he said?
277
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:54,719
Yes, again and again.
278
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:58,922
Well, I just had to
see your lamp... Oops!
279
00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:01,892
Mrs. Roper, wouldn't you like
to stay and have a drink with us?
280
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:06,664
Oh... Oh, Janet!
You're so polite.
281
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:09,834
I know you two want to be alone.
282
00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:14,572
No, I'll just go
back to Stanley.
283
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,241
Then I can be alone too.
284
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,852
Well...
285
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,832
Chrissy.
286
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:46,204
I can't hear myself drink.
287
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:50,408
Jack, I'm so worried. Maybe we
should call Janet and tell her how we feel.
288
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:53,877
Janet's okay, Chrissy. Peter's
an old high school friend.
289
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:56,914
He's the most popular guy in
school. He was a four-letter man.
290
00:16:56,982 --> 00:16:59,650
Yeah, they make
a four-letter word.
291
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,985
Be nice, Chrissy.
292
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:05,556
Oh, Ja... Oh, Jack, do
me a favor, please. Hmm?
293
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:08,937
Come with me and call
Janet and just see how she is.
294
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:12,162
Oh, Chrissy, I can't do that.
She'll think I'm spying on her.
295
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,865
So disguise your
voice. Oh, come on.
296
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:19,237
Oh, Jack! Oh, Jack,
please? For me?
297
00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:23,006
Mmm. Okay.
298
00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:26,009
Good. Okay, come on. Come. Come.
299
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:37,087
How should I disguise my voice?
300
00:17:37,156 --> 00:17:39,557
Make an accent.
301
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:42,226
Make an accent? How do...
302
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:45,195
Howdy!
303
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:48,232
Howdy, Miss Wood.
Is this Miss Wood?
304
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:51,869
Hi. I'm an old friend
of Peter Van Horn's.
305
00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:55,005
Uh, you know, Pete's
really a good ol' boy.
306
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:59,009
But he's also a low-down,
rotten, sneakin' snake in the grass,
307
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:03,881
and I wouldn't allow him in my house
without you got a mongoose handy.
308
00:18:03,949 --> 00:18:06,817
Oh, hi, Janet.
309
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:10,554
No, I don't have a
cold. I was just, uh...
310
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:14,958
You do? Oh, well, thank... Yeah.
311
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:17,161
What'd she say?
312
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:20,531
She said I do a great
Gomer Pyle imitation.
313
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,534
Oh, I thought it was
Tennessee Ernie Ford.
314
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:27,305
I was doing Jimmy Carter.
315
00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:30,040
Enough, Chrissy!
316
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,883
Tell me the truth, Jan.
317
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:42,085
- Janet.
- Janet.
318
00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:46,791
Haven't you... Haven't you been
thinking about me all these years?
319
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:50,728
Well, in a sense, uh...
320
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,730
I knew it.
321
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:56,934
You know, hon, all the way
over here I just kept thinking,
322
00:18:57,002 --> 00:19:01,939
"Janet, Janet, Janet."
323
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:05,843
And, you know, I made
up a little something...
324
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:08,946
especially for you.
325
00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:12,249
Oh? What was that, Peter?
326
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:16,487
How much do I love you?
327
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:19,423
Let me count up the ways.
328
00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:25,496
What the hell's so funny?
329
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:30,835
Oh, Peter! You got that from
Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
330
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:34,338
Oh, no. You got me all wrong. I
never took that chick out in my life!
331
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:41,011
Well, it would be a little difficult. She's
been dead for over a hundred years!
332
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,447
And she wrote it
just a little differently.
333
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,883
"How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways."
334
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:49,086
I was never much good at talk.
Why don't we do what I do best?
335
00:19:49,154 --> 00:19:51,700
Oh, no, Peter. I'd rather
not. Oh, come on, Janet.
336
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:54,035
No, no, Peter. I'm just
not in the mood. Come on.
337
00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:57,761
Hey, listen. How about another
poem? Peter! Peter! No! No!
338
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:12,342
Oh, hi.
339
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,247
Oh, my God! Where's Peter?
340
00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:19,683
He's in the bedroom. Oh, my God!
341
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:23,398
Oh, Jack, he attacked her!
Now, don't jump to conclusions.
342
00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:25,556
Janet, what happened?
He attacked me.
343
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,558
See? Oh, my God!
344
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:30,027
Well, I don't mean he
attacked me, actually.
345
00:20:30,095 --> 00:20:32,088
He started to really
come after me, so I
346
00:20:32,112 --> 00:20:34,431
tried to run in the
bedroom and lock the door.
347
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:38,636
And then what happened? He tripped
and hit his head on the broken end table.
348
00:20:38,704 --> 00:20:40,849
We don't have a
broken end table.
349
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:43,941
We do now. Anyway,
he knocked himself out.
350
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:47,678
So I put a pillow under his head, an
ice pack on him, and he's in there now.
351
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,113
Where are you going?
352
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:53,083
I'm gonna bring him to, and
then I'm gonna punch him out.
353
00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:55,318
- Janet?
- He's awake! Oh, no!
354
00:20:55,387 --> 00:20:58,455
Oh, good. Now I don't
have to bring him to.
355
00:20:58,524 --> 00:21:03,027
Oh, no, Jack. Come on,
come on. I can handle this.
356
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:06,263
Are you sure? Sure. I've
been doing pretty good so far.
357
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:10,300
Um, why don't you guys just do
a quick fade, and I'll get rid of him.
358
00:21:10,369 --> 00:21:12,981
Okay. Come on, Jack. If you
want me, I'll be in there. Okay?
359
00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:15,005
Thank you.
360
00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:22,880
Hi. How are you?
361
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,950
Oh, it's okay,
Janet. I forgive you.
362
00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:30,688
- You forgive me?
- Playing hard to get.
363
00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:34,324
I got news for you, babe.
It worked. You got me.
364
00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:37,194
I got news for you.
I don't want you.
365
00:21:37,262 --> 00:21:40,097
You're not serious. Oh, Peter!
366
00:21:40,165 --> 00:21:43,667
What does it take to
get through to you?
367
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:46,536
Stop trying, babe.
You got your man.
368
00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:48,806
Oh, Peter, Peter!
No! Janet. Janet.
369
00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:52,009
All right, hold it
right there, buster!
370
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:57,280
What are you two doing here?
371
00:21:57,349 --> 00:21:59,850
Hey, don't you hear well?
372
00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:02,686
My friend is not
interested in you!
373
00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:08,391
Oh, so that's it!
374
00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:11,261
Well, that explains everything.
375
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:13,731
That never occurred to me.
376
00:22:17,970 --> 00:22:21,438
What? You. Her.
377
00:22:21,507 --> 00:22:26,443
Roommates.
Sharing... everything.
378
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:28,779
Oh?
379
00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:31,148
I read about this
in a book once.
380
00:22:31,216 --> 00:22:34,217
You read a book?
381
00:22:34,286 --> 00:22:37,688
Who helped you
with the big words?
382
00:22:37,757 --> 00:22:41,792
There are no big
words in Dick and Jane.
383
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:45,562
Well, listen. I don't want to
break up a beautiful friendship.
384
00:22:45,631 --> 00:22:48,899
I mean, uh, whatever
turns you on.
385
00:22:51,771 --> 00:22:55,172
Just imagine, for a minute there
I thought old Pete was losing it.
386
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,142
Well, here. Let me help
old Pete with his old jacket.
387
00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:01,078
Thanks. Hey! Hey!
388
00:23:09,454 --> 00:23:12,455
You okay, babe? Oh, yes.
389
00:23:12,524 --> 00:23:15,726
Yes, yes. But I
feel like a fool.
390
00:23:15,795 --> 00:23:18,306
So do I. Oh, yeah? How come?
391
00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:22,032
I should have known right away
that that guy was a double-squeezer.
392
00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:28,672
- What?
- And that he had a question
mark on the end of it.
393
00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:31,141
- What!
- Look, Janet,
394
00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:33,543
there are "verys"
and there are "verys,"
395
00:23:33,612 --> 00:23:36,814
and his "very" was
very, very strange.
396
00:23:38,117 --> 00:23:41,618
Have you been taking
lessons from Chrissy?
397
00:23:49,895 --> 00:23:54,798
Well, Helen, how do you feel
about Janet's romantic flame now?
398
00:23:54,867 --> 00:23:58,836
Oh, wasn't that terrible? Poor
Janet. She must be so disappointed.
399
00:23:58,904 --> 00:24:02,305
You know, you can say
whatever you want about me,
400
00:24:02,374 --> 00:24:05,375
but I would never force
myself on a woman.
401
00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:08,245
To do what?
402
00:24:08,313 --> 00:24:11,148
You know what I mean, Helen.
403
00:24:11,216 --> 00:24:13,583
Well, now just imagine, Stanley,
404
00:24:13,653 --> 00:24:17,154
if you were my old sweetheart
and you came to see me...
405
00:24:17,222 --> 00:24:21,424
and you ripped off my clothes
and threw me on the bed.
406
00:24:21,493 --> 00:24:25,829
- Helen, I would never do that.
- It was just a suggestion.
407
00:24:54,426 --> 00:24:56,526
Three's Company
was videotaped...
408
00:24:56,595 --> 00:24:58,829
in front of a studio audience.
409
00:24:58,898 --> 00:25:01,899
Closed-Captioned By
Captions, Inc. Los Angeles
30882
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