Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,907 --> 00:00:10,842
♪ Come and knock on our door ♪
♪ Come and knock on our door ♪
2
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:13,945
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
3
00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:16,748
♪ Where the kisses are
hers and hers and his ♪
4
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:20,119
♪ Three's company too ♪
5
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:23,222
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
6
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:25,869
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
7
00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:29,495
♪ We've a lovable space
that needs your face ♪
8
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,796
♪ Three's company too ♪
9
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:35,234
♪ You'll see that
life is a ball again ♪
10
00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:38,870
♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪
11
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:41,973
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
12
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:44,376
♪ Three is company too ♪
13
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:08,833
♪ Down at our rendezvous
Three is company too ♪♪
14
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,710
Janet, do you dream a lot?
15
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:22,281
Uh, it depends on
what I've had for dinner.
16
00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:26,818
Do you dream dirty?
17
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,656
- Is John Denver dirty?
- No.
18
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,758
Then I'm clean.
19
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:37,196
Why? I don't know. It's
this book I'm reading.
20
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:41,099
Look Beyond Your Dreams? Yeah. It's got
me so scared, I'm afraid to go to sleep.
21
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:45,070
I mean, according to this book,
I must be a depraved sex fiend.
22
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,150
Why? What've you
been dreaming about?
23
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:49,668
The other night I dreamed
I was back in school,
24
00:01:49,692 --> 00:01:51,943
and I went to the prom
wearing blue shoes.
25
00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:56,115
- So? What's wrong with that?
- No dress.
26
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:59,818
Oh. Okay. It doesn't seem
to matter what I dream about.
27
00:01:59,886 --> 00:02:02,387
In this book, even chocolate
chip cookies are sexy.
28
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:06,925
No kidding? Geez, it
never turned me on.
29
00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:09,872
Listen, Chrissy. If I were
you, I would not worry.
30
00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:11,996
Dreams can mean
whatever you want 'em to.
31
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:14,966
Well, what about last night?
32
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:18,970
I dreamed I was walking down this
leafy lane, eating a blueberry muffin,
33
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:22,307
and suddenly there was this
white unicorn with a tulip in its teeth.
34
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:25,644
A unicorn? Well, that
doesn't mean that you were...
35
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:28,813
Well, look it up. Look
under "unicorn." Okay.
36
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,982
Oop-oop-oop-oop.
37
00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:33,918
"The unicorn is the
classic symbol..."
38
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,920
Whoa! See?
39
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,923
Yeah, this is better
than John Denver.
40
00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:44,963
Hi. Did you have a
good ride? No, not really.
41
00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:48,533
I couldn't get my mind off of
this strange dream I had last night.
42
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:53,538
What strange dream? Well, I dreamed
I was riding this big, white unicorn...
43
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:55,574
Did it have a
tulip in its teeth?
44
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:58,577
I don't know. I only read the
part of the book you underlined.
45
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:06,451
I'm fine. I'm fine. Did I get
any calls while I was out?
46
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:10,321
- Nope.
- Oh, good. I was hoping
no girls would call me.
47
00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:12,891
I was hoping I wouldn't
get any calls at all.
48
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,759
That's good 'cause you didn't.
49
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:16,795
Terrific. I don't
wanna go out tonight.
50
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,771
Just because it's
Saturday night, why do
51
00:03:18,795 --> 00:03:21,065
people feel they have
to go out? You got dates?
52
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:23,067
No. Oh, good.
53
00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:27,105
- What do you mean, good?
- Well, I mean it's good
we can be together.
54
00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:30,742
I'm looking forward to spending
an evening with my two best friends.
55
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:33,978
Aw, Jack. We'll have a great
dinner. Then we can talk.
56
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:37,349
And maybe we can play a little
Scrabble? And we could watch TV.
57
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:39,584
We'll have a great time.
58
00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:42,421
I'll get it! No, it's for me!
59
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,656
Mine! Mine. Hey, baby, listen.
60
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:49,994
I got this great new JT album, and if you
got a turntable, maybe we can get it on.
61
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,163
Oh, hello, Steve.
62
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,368
Ha, ha!
63
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:59,338
Oh, boy, what are you gonna do?
64
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,573
Me? Well, um, sure.
65
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,609
Hey, no problem. Yeah.
All right. Don't worry about it.
66
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:08,179
See ya. Bye-bye. That was
Steve from The Regal Beagle.
67
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,816
His car's broken down on
the way back from San Diego,
68
00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:13,518
and he wants me to tend
bar for him for a few hours.
69
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:16,087
Hey, what about our talk?
70
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:18,089
What about our Scrabble? Aw.
71
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:20,759
And most of all, what
about our dinner?
72
00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:23,595
I can't let the two of you
go hungry now, can I?
73
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:26,431
You'll take care of dinner for
us before you go to the pub?
74
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:29,868
Sure. I'll leave the recipe
for you in the kitchen.
75
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:57,128
Okay, say it.
76
00:04:57,197 --> 00:05:00,899
Say it, Helen. Come on.
Say I never take you anyplace.
77
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,768
You never take me anyplace.
78
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:06,805
You're gonna be
sorry you said that.
79
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:09,841
We're going out.
Put on your makeup.
80
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:15,847
I'm wearing makeup.
81
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:20,018
Oh, good. Good.
82
00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:23,488
- Hey, wait a minute. Where are we going?
- To the movies!
83
00:05:23,556 --> 00:05:27,325
Oh, hey, terrific!
To the movies!
84
00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:30,294
What are we gonna see?
A Frankenstein festival.
85
00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:33,098
Frankenstein? Yeah.
86
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,600
It's all on one program.
The Bride of Frankenstein,
87
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:39,838
The Ghost of Frankenstein and
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man.
88
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,906
No, thanks.
89
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:45,443
You go. They're
your kind of people.
90
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,648
You don't wanna see
Frankenstein and the Wolf Man?
91
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:52,283
Can't we see something
more romantic?
92
00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:54,619
No. Why not?
93
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,689
Because I don't have free
passes for something romantic.
94
00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:01,226
You don't have anything
for something romantic.
95
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,797
You know... Listen, Helen.
96
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,016
Before we got married,
a lot of women were
97
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,369
attracted to me, and
plenty of 'em still are.
98
00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:14,573
The only women interested in you
are tenants with backed-up toilets.
99
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:20,144
Are you saying women are only
interested in me for my plumbing?
100
00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:27,386
Forget it, Stanley.
101
00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:31,723
I'm not gonna forget it 'cause, frankly,
you don't appreciate what you got in me.
102
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:34,593
Have you been drinking?
103
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,595
I'll tell you something else.
104
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:39,242
A lot of women would be after
me if it wasn't for this wedding ring.
105
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:41,433
You have been drinking.
106
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:45,370
No, but maybe I should be. Wait a
minute. Where are you going now?
107
00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:48,172
- To The Regal Beagle.
- Without a free pass?
108
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:51,075
"Without a free pass?"
109
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,077
I'll show you.
110
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:56,581
I dare you to stay
home and say that.
111
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:12,496
Here you go, ladies. Two
daquiris. Thanks, Jack.
112
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,999
Ick!
113
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,202
What's the matter?
Too much tequila?
114
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:20,305
You're not supposed to
put tequila in a daquiri.
115
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:24,075
Oh. Then it's definitely too much
tequila. Look. I'm sorry, Joan.
116
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:27,378
I haven't got Steve's touch.
I'm afraid you're gonna miss him.
117
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:31,282
Yeah, especially since I was
supposed to have a date with him tonight.
118
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:34,285
Hey, what are you doing tonight?
119
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:38,022
Oh, me? Oh, you gotta be
kidding. I couldn't date Steve's girl.
120
00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:41,760
He's a close friend of mine.
He's also very big and very strong.
121
00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:45,630
No, Steve wouldn't mind,
really. What do you say?
122
00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:48,399
I'll fix you some fresh drinks.
123
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,569
I'd rather have a fresh you.
124
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,239
Excuse me.
125
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,409
Hi, Mr. Roper. What
can I do for you?
126
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:01,224
What are you doing here?
I'm picking up a little extra cash.
127
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:03,714
Steve's car broke
down. He'll be along later.
128
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:07,685
Is something wrong?
129
00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:10,855
It shows, huh?
130
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,924
You wanna talk about it?
131
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,193
Nah. Okay.
132
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:18,074
What's wrong with me?
Huh? Nothing's wrong with you.
133
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:21,232
Why don't women find me
attractive? You're attractive.
134
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:41,186
Sure, you'd think so,
135
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:44,088
but I'm talking
about regular women.
136
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:52,864
Mr. Roper, why don't you cheer up,
and, uh, have a daquiri on the house.
137
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:03,574
That's good.
138
00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:08,412
You know, in all the
years I've been married,
139
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:10,915
not one girl has
ever looked at me.
140
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,918
Maybe it's because they
know you're married. That's it.
141
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:18,289
It's the ring. I told Helen
that, and then... and then... Oh!
142
00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:21,893
Boy, you're really
down, aren't you? Yeah.
143
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,566
I'd bet if they thought
you were single, you
144
00:09:23,590 --> 00:09:25,107
could have women
eating out of your hand.
145
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:27,198
Yeah?
146
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:34,172
Jack, you know, I
think you're right.
147
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,474
That girl over there
just waved at me.
148
00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:38,642
Oh, well, see?
149
00:09:38,711 --> 00:09:42,213
Maybe I'll just mosey
over there and... Uh, hold it.
150
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:45,283
Hold it a second. I got an idea.
151
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:48,231
Why don't I take this bottle of wine
over to her and tell her it's from you?
152
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:51,256
Good thinking. Yeah.
153
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:54,592
Joanie, excuse me.
Would you do me a favor?
154
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:58,162
That depends. What are
you doing tomorrow night?
155
00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:01,065
No, it... Excuse me.
156
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:04,135
See that guy over there?
He's really down on himself.
157
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,704
He's got every right to be.
158
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:12,210
He's a nice enough guy.
Would you just do me this favor?
159
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:16,514
Excuse me. Just be nice to
him. Make him feel attractive.
160
00:10:16,582 --> 00:10:20,084
Him? Give me one
good reason why I should.
161
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:23,587
Uh, I could take you
out tomorrow night.
162
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:28,393
You know something? He
just became very good-looking.
163
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,730
Mr. Roper, you're in.
She's waiting for you.
164
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,499
Remember, confidence.
165
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,750
Uh, uh, uh...
166
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,919
Hi, good-lookin'!
167
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:03,227
Hello, cutie.
168
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:13,504
Okay, "soak the brains
and the sweetbreads...
169
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:16,574
in ice-cold water
for 45 minutes."
170
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,711
Looks like Jack
already did that.
171
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,713
Janet? Hmm?
172
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:25,950
What part of the body
do brains come from?
173
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:31,522
The, uh, head part.
174
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:34,025
You mean these are brain brains?
175
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:36,995
Yeah. Blech! Ick!
176
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:40,898
Chrissy, you think maybe you could go
for a hamburger at The Regal Beagle?
177
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:44,435
I thought you'd never
ask. Okay, let's go.
178
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,672
Wonder who that is.
179
00:11:49,842 --> 00:11:51,842
Oh, hi. Oh, hi, kids.
180
00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:54,345
I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.
181
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:58,282
No. We were just going
out, that's all. Good.
182
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:05,856
Uh, Mrs. Roper, is
there anything wrong?
183
00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:08,893
Yeah. Stanley got mad at me.
184
00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:11,396
I told him that he wasn't
attractive to women,
185
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:13,831
and it really hurt his feelings.
186
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,933
I shouldn't have told him that.
187
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:18,436
Oh, Mrs. Roper, now, come on.
188
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:20,905
He's gonna know
you didn't mean it.
189
00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:24,675
Oh, I meant it. I just
shouldn't have told him.
190
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:29,514
Why don't you take your mind off it
and come with us to have a hamburger?
191
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:33,584
Oh, hey, that's a
good idea! Good.
192
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,773
Where are you going?
The Regal Beagle.
193
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:38,055
Oh! Oh, I can't.
194
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:40,391
Stanley's gone there.
195
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,960
Now, come on, Mrs. Roper.
196
00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:46,964
Listen. I bet the one thing he
wants right now more than anything...
197
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:49,333
is to see you.
198
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:55,039
Six plumbers were
there before me...
199
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:04,215
Six professional plumbers...
200
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,117
And I was the only
one able to figure it out.
201
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:09,153
You won't believe this.
202
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:12,923
They were using half-inch pipe.
203
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:14,825
No! Yeah.
204
00:13:16,762 --> 00:13:19,264
I mean, with that
kind of water pressure,
205
00:13:19,288 --> 00:13:21,999
you need at least a
three-quarter-inch pipe.
206
00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:25,636
Believe me, after that, they looked
at Stanley Roper with respect.
207
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:28,839
Well, of course they
would. You betcha.
208
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:31,220
Hi, Chrissy. Hi, Janet. Hi.
209
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:35,012
Hi. Hi, Mrs. Rope... Wait!
210
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:38,361
Hey, Mrs. Roper, why don't
you join me over here at the bar.
211
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:41,352
No, that's okay. We'll
just sit over here. Oh, no!
212
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:45,289
This table... well, it's
reserved. Reserved? Who for?
213
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:49,860
Huh? Huh? Oh, that's beautiful!
214
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:08,879
Poor Mrs. Roper. Well, why'd
you have to bring her here?
215
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:12,216
I thought you were gonna stay
home and eat that dinner I left for you.
216
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:16,287
Ew. No way. Besides, I
never had sweetbreads before.
217
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,623
And I've never had brains.
218
00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:31,235
Listen. I think you better go over there
and tell Mr. Roper that his wife saw him.
219
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:34,464
You want me to tell that to a
man with a heart condition?
220
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:37,508
I didn't know he
had a heart condition.
221
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,943
He will when I tell him.
222
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:44,815
Mr. Roper has gotta know that
his wife saw him. He's gotta be told.
223
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:48,118
I think you're right.
Go ahead and tell him.
224
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:50,521
Us? Why don't you go tell him?
225
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:54,559
Because I have to stay here and
mix a couple of drinks. For who?
226
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:56,838
For me. I wanna be ready
when the screaming starts.
227
00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:59,597
Listen, Jack... Come on, Janet.
228
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:02,266
We'll do it. We're
not afraid, are we?
229
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,569
Yes.
230
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:07,205
Mr. Roper! Yeah?
231
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,643
Janet has something
she wants to tell you.
232
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:16,614
No. No, no, no, no,
no, no... Tell him, Janet.
233
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:21,285
Hi. Uh, Mr. Roper,
234
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,921
uh, could we talk to
you for just a minute?
235
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:27,035
It's very... Would
you move? Important.
236
00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:30,761
You have to excuse me for
being so popular. I'll be right back.
237
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:36,267
All right. What's so
important? Tell him!
238
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:39,503
Um... Well,
239
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:42,139
your wife was just
here, and she saw you.
240
00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:52,916
I think you better
tell him again. Yeah.
241
00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:57,421
Mr. Roper, your wife was just in
here, and she saw you with that girl.
242
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:04,528
Can you have a
smiling heart attack?
243
00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:08,832
Mr. Roper, I don't think... Tell me again
about how she came in and saw me.
244
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:12,169
Yeah, yeah, she saw you,
the kissing and everything.
245
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:15,773
Oh, that's good!
That's very good!
246
00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:22,157
Uh, listen, Joanie. There's
something I want to tell you...
247
00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:24,326
that I didn't tell you before.
248
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:27,985
But, uh, don't take
it hard, huh, kid?
249
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:31,622
You mean you lied
about your half-inch pipe?
250
00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:46,970
No. I... I wouldn't
lie about that.
251
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:52,042
What a relief.
252
00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:55,279
There's no easy way to tell you,
so I'll just come right out with it.
253
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,948
But you gotta promise
me something... no tears.
254
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,117
Oh, I promise.
255
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:04,132
It's all over between us.
256
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:06,256
Over?
257
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:10,194
You promised no tears.
Oh, I'm smiling. See?
258
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:15,333
Well, what I didn't tell you
was, I'm a married man.
259
00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:17,335
No kidding!
260
00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:20,070
Aw, don't take it so hard.
261
00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:25,142
You're young. I mean, there's
lots more pebbles in the ocean.
262
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:28,813
Just... try to act as
though I never existed.
263
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,248
I'll do my best.
264
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:35,886
I'll see you around, sweetheart.
265
00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:48,566
- Good night, kids.
- You two-timer.
266
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:50,801
Right!
267
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:01,111
Jack, after what I
just went through,
268
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:03,280
that dinner better be good.
269
00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:05,716
I got it fine. Thank you.
270
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,718
Isn't he cute?
271
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:10,599
He can make me do almost
anything. Oh, get outta here.
272
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:13,257
Good night.
273
00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:16,894
Why do you have to take her to
dinner? You know what time it is?
274
00:18:16,962 --> 00:18:19,675
It's time for The Regal
Beagle sing-along! Jack, listen!
275
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:23,768
A free drink to the best voice. ♪
I've been working on the railroad ♪
276
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:26,937
♪ All the live-long day ♪
♪ Whoo, whoo, whoo ♪
277
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:29,106
Stop it!
278
00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:31,275
You don't like that
song? I got another one.
279
00:18:31,343 --> 00:18:33,355
♪ Alouette gentille Alouette,
Alouette ♪ Okay, stop.
280
00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:35,513
♪ Je te plumerai... ♪♪
Stop it. Stop it!
281
00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:37,548
Janet. What?
282
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,751
I like that song.
283
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,831
Chrissy, don't you understand?
284
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:46,055
Jack is the one who got that
girl together with Mr. Roper.
285
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,127
Aw, Jack. Did you?
286
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:56,278
The man came in here feeling
depressed. He was really down.
287
00:18:56,302 --> 00:19:00,337
He said he wasn't attractive to
women, so I asked Joan to be nice to him.
288
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:04,007
- Well, that was
very thoughtful of you.
- I thought you'd understand.
289
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:07,578
Right. Now all you have to do is
make Mrs. Roper understand. Come on.
290
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,058
Are you kidding? I can't leave
my post. I promised Steve I'd stay...
291
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:13,584
Well, I finally made it.
I'm sorry I took so long.
292
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,731
Oh, hi, Steve. Hi, girls.
293
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:18,589
Hi. Jack, thanks for
covering for me, huh?
294
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:22,178
You can take off now. No, no. I'll stay
and wash the glasses while you mix drinks.
295
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:24,161
Oh, look, Jack! What?
296
00:19:24,229 --> 00:19:26,997
Get him, Chrissy!
297
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:29,333
They're very attached to me.
298
00:19:41,547 --> 00:19:43,514
Hello, Helen.
299
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,583
Hello, Stanley.
300
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:49,052
How are ya?
301
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:52,122
Oh, fine. Just fine.
302
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:56,560
You are?
303
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:04,869
You better wash your face.
You got some ketchup on it.
304
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:08,739
Ketchup? It's not
ketchup! It's lipstick!
305
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:10,974
Lipstick, from kissing!
306
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,644
All right, it's
lipstick from kissing.
307
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,780
You better wash it off.
308
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:19,149
Helen, I was down at The
Beagle with a girl, a pretty girl!
309
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:23,153
And you saw me, and I know you saw
me because the girls told me you saw me!
310
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:27,324
Oh, Stanley!
311
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:30,494
I saw you. I admit it.
312
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:34,998
And you knew I saw you, but
that wasn't enough for you, was it?
313
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,001
No, you had to make
me admit it out loud!
314
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,671
You had to rub my nose in it!
315
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:44,274
All right, you found a
young, pretty girl? Go to her!
316
00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:46,276
Helen, you don't understand.
317
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:49,658
I just wanted to prove that another woman
would find me attractive, and I proved it.
318
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:51,660
All right, you proved it!
319
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:55,118
So go to her! I
hope you'll be happy!
320
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:58,789
I don't wanna be happy!
I wanna be with you.
321
00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:05,028
Oh!
322
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,932
Oh! Where you going?
323
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,702
Anyplace you're not!
324
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:15,305
Mrs. Roper! Would you
wait a minute, please!
325
00:21:15,374 --> 00:21:19,076
Oh, my God, we're too
late! She's done it! Oh, no!
326
00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:23,414
- What's she talking about?
- I think it's about
that knife in your hand.
327
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:26,116
I was cutting some fruit.
328
00:21:26,185 --> 00:21:28,185
Oh.
329
00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:30,488
I thought it was Mr. Roper.
330
00:21:30,556 --> 00:21:34,725
No, it was just an apple,
but I like your idea better.
331
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:37,294
No, wait! Jack, tell her quick.
332
00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:40,397
She's got a knife
in her hand. Tell her!
333
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:42,611
Tell me? What? What? Mrs. Roper?
334
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:46,169
Uh, excuse me.
335
00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:49,673
You know that girl you
saw Mr. Roper with tonight?
336
00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:53,410
Well, she was being nice to
him because I asked her to.
337
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:57,380
What? Yes. See, I put
her up to it. It's all my fault.
338
00:21:59,952 --> 00:22:02,219
Oh, Jack!
339
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:07,658
Oh!
340
00:22:07,727 --> 00:22:12,029
It's so good to be back
in the driver's seat again.
341
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:18,268
Stanley.
342
00:22:20,106 --> 00:22:23,473
I wanna talk to you.
343
00:22:23,542 --> 00:22:26,221
Hold it. I'll do the
talkin'. Sit down.
344
00:22:26,245 --> 00:22:28,612
Look, Stan... Sit!
345
00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:32,115
Yes, Stanley?
346
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,887
There's a few things I want
to straighten out with you.
347
00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:40,791
When I went down to The
Beagle, I felt like a nothin',
348
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,793
but I learned something.
349
00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:48,031
I learned that other women
find me attractive, very attractive.
350
00:22:49,769 --> 00:22:52,202
Maybe I shouldn't
have been with her.
351
00:22:52,271 --> 00:22:56,140
But what's a man to do when a
beautiful girl climbs all over him?
352
00:22:57,576 --> 00:23:01,256
Now I know what guys like
Paul Newman have to put up with.
353
00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:03,981
Paul Newman?
354
00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:08,018
Yeah. Poor guy. He's got
the same problem I have.
355
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:12,222
Well, all I can say is,
356
00:23:12,291 --> 00:23:14,725
from now on, for your sake,
357
00:23:14,794 --> 00:23:18,762
I'll just try not to
be so... fascinating.
358
00:23:20,365 --> 00:23:23,067
Stanley?
359
00:23:24,704 --> 00:23:28,205
Would you like me to fix you...
360
00:23:28,274 --> 00:23:32,042
a nice, hot cup of cocoa?
361
00:23:32,111 --> 00:23:34,044
Yeah.
362
00:23:34,113 --> 00:23:36,113
No.
363
00:23:36,182 --> 00:23:39,116
Wait a minute. I'm going to bed.
364
00:23:39,185 --> 00:23:42,052
Well, isn't it a little early?
365
00:23:43,189 --> 00:23:46,190
Well, if, uh... If you
care to join me...
366
00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:52,630
Oh, Mr. Newman!
367
00:24:00,039 --> 00:24:02,973
Oh, gee whiz, I'm so hungry.
368
00:24:03,042 --> 00:24:06,210
I wish Jack weren't taking this
bartending practicing so seriously.
369
00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:09,346
He's been in that kitchen for
hours, practicing making drinks.
370
00:24:09,414 --> 00:24:11,748
He doesn't wanna make
any mistakes the next time.
371
00:24:11,817 --> 00:24:14,484
Yeah, but enough is
enough. I'm really starving.
372
00:24:14,553 --> 00:24:19,089
Hey, Jack! Jack, listen. Could
you come out here for just a second?
373
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:26,029
You've been in that kitchen for hours.
Haven't you learned anything yet?
374
00:24:51,757 --> 00:24:53,857
Three's Company
was videotaped...
375
00:24:53,926 --> 00:24:56,026
in front of a studio audience.
376
00:24:56,095 --> 00:24:59,096
Closed-Captioned By
Captions, Inc., Los Angeles
28365
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof