All language subtitles for Threes Company S02E03 Janets Promotion.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en

♪ Come and knock on our door ♪
♪ Come and knock on our door ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

♪ Where the kisses are
hers and hers and his ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪

♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪

♪ We've a lovable space
that needs your face ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ You'll see that
life is a ball again ♪

♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three is company too ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous
Three is company too ♪♪

Hey, Stanley, you
wanna hear something?

Was that a "yes" or a "no"?

That's what I thought you said.

What was that?

Oh, that's just
the kids upstairs.

They got no respect
for this property.

The man who built this place...

had no respect
for this property.

Don't knock it, Helen. This
house means a lot to me.

How come you never
say that about me?

You're not in a rising market.

Neither are you.

There goes that banging again.

Aw, come on. A little of
that never hurt anybody.

Well, it gives me a headache.

I'm going up there.
Aw, come on, Stanley.

Come on. Sit down. I
wanna show you something.

In the magazine!

Look. Now, this is an article
about cosmetic surgery.

Cosmetic surgery? Yeah.

You mean they have to
operate to remove your makeup?

It's about face-lifting.

See? They're doing
marvelous things...

at this here Sunset
Pines Hospital.

They remove the bags
from under your eyes.

They take away the
sag under your chin.

What can they do about your
mouth? Seriously, Stanley.

Wouldn't you like to
look younger? Me?

Look at this face.

Does this face look
like it needs lifting?

With a derrick.

Well, I'm gonna keep it just
the way it is, if you don't mind.

I'm sure you've
heard the old saying,

"You don't ever fool
around with Mother Nature."

Then how did she
get to be a mother?

What are those
girls doing up there?

What do you mean? Jack
lives up there too, you know.

That's what I said. What are
those "girls" doing up there?

Hyah! Waaah! How's that?

Uh, it's not ferocious
enough, Chrissy.

In karate, you have to make your opponent
think you are totally without fear.

Now do it again. Let me
see some anger. Okay.

Come on. Get mad.

No! No!

Hyah! Waaah!

Ohhh! You scared me. I
was suppose to scare you.

In the martial arts, there's got
to be an element of surprise.

Okay. Surprise me, but first let
me know when you're gonna do it.

Let me show you how karate
can really come in handy, all right?

All right. I'll be a weak,
helpless girl at a bus stop,

and you be a rough
drunken sailor.

Okay. You spring out of nowhere
and try to attack me, all right?

Okay, but don't let me hurt you.

Here we go.

Oh, where's that bus?

That's it. Hello, baby.

That's it. Now, force
me down. Okay.

Ohhh.

You're not resisting.

I happen to be one of those girls
who likes rough drunken sailors.

I'm yours. Mwah! J-Jack!

Jack! Jack, don't! Jack!

All right. Break it up,
break it up, break it up.

Oh, sorry. Chrissy, let
go of me. Let go, Chrissy!

Uh, Janet, it wasn't
what it looked like, really.

Right. I was just showing
Chrissy a foolproof

defense against a
sex-crazed attacker.

Oh, that's very useful, especially
while we're living with one.

No kidding. I think
every girl should learn it.

Now, Janet, suppose some big guy
grabs you like this? What are you gonna do?

This!

- You did that all wrong, Janet.
- Yeah. You were supposed to
yell, "Ya-hah!"

Ahhh. I'll remember
that next time.

Why'd you have to tell her
that? She'll kill me the next time.

Ow, ow, ow.

Ow, ow.

Ooh. I may never
slice carrots again.

Ohhh.

Oh, hi, Mr. Roper. Would you
two mind not jumping on the ceiling?

We're not jumping
on the ceiling.

We're jumping on the floor.

Well, your floor happens
to be over my ceiling.

And my ceiling is over my head.

So when you are jumping on your
floor, you are jumping on my head!

Sorry. We will be
more careful next time.

What are you doing?
I'm loosening up my wrist.

I didn't know you
guys had to practice.

Uh-oh. Here comes
that big bully again.

Boy! That is a bundle of
overtime to take home, Janet.

Oh, yeah. Tell me about it.

When that creep manager quit the flower
shop, he left everything in a real mess.

Now I gotta straighten it out.

I hope your boss
appreciates what you're doing,

especially when he
picks the new manager.

Yeah. Oh, come on, guys. I don't
stand a chance of getting that job.

- Oh? Why not?
- Mr. Compton is a galloping
male chauvinist.

Every single store in his
chain has a man for a manager.

Come on, Janet. He's
a businessman. Yeah.

And when he compares
your ability to others,

he won't care if
you're male or female.

He's naturally gonna
pick the best man.

Hors d'oeuvres, anyone?

I got a little cheese to tide
you ladies over until dinner.

Ooh! Thank you. I'll
just take a couple. Mmm!

You know, Janet, you shouldn't give
up that manager's job without a fight.

You've got to think positive.

- Come on, Jack. I can't buck the system.
- I'm surprised at you.

Where would all the great women
of history be if they thought like that?

Look at Joan of Arc and
what she accomplished.

And Florence Nightingale
and Madam Currie.

And Lucrezia Borgia.

She poisoned people.

Yeah, but she
was very good at it.

Here. Chew. Don't talk.

Now, Janet, listen to
me. You've got everything

it takes to make a
sensational manager.

You've got
knowledge, experience,

aggressiveness. Your
boss has gotta see that.

Jack, you don't know him like I
do. You can do it! You can do it!

Yeah! You can
do it! You can do it!

You can do it! You can! You can!

You can do it! You can
do it! You can! You can!

Hicka-chicka-boom!
Hicka-chick-bah! All right.

Janet, you gotta think
positive. We want a touchdown!

Chrissy, she's got
the point. Rah-rah-rah!

Oski-whee-whee! Oski-wah!

I don't know the
rest, so ha ha ha!

Chrissy, Chrissy,
chew, chew! Rah rah rah!

Shh! All right?

Seriously, Janet. Chrissy and I
believe in you. Why can't you?

You're right. You are right.

Gee! There's no reason why
I can't get that job. All right.

Oh, thank you, Jack. You're
a doll. Oh, you found out, huh?

Yeah. That's enough, Jack.

I'm a doll. I need hugs.
Jack, that's enou... Ohhh!

Jack.

Yeee-aaah!

See? That was real...

Hey. Hey. I don't care
what you say, Mr. Penatelli.

The tulips you delivered
are not the same

ones I picked out at
the market this morning.

These look like they just
swam over from Holland.

Eh, Mr. Penatelli, I'm not gonna
pay you one cent for these flowers.

Meet in the middle?

Oh. All right. All right. You
take half off the bill for goodwill,

and I'll take the other half off
for lousy flowers. Thank you.

Janet. Yeah?

Will you look at these?
Oh, Chloe, those look great.

You are really getting the
hang of it. Oh, thank you.

Ahh! Just one little
problem, Chloe.

The, uh, "Rest In Peace"
goes to the cemetery...

and the "Have Fun" goes
to the Mexican cruise ship.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Boy! That was dumb, wasn't it?

Oh, come on, Chloe. You're doing terrific
for someone who's only been here a week.

Really... yeee.

Just stay out of the
refrigerator, Chloe.

In that outfit, you'll
catch pneumonia.

Excuse me. Could I help
you with something, madam?

Ohh. Don't like
these, not at all.

Uh, why not? They
don't look natural.

You got the other
kind? The other kind?

The plastic ones.
Now they look natural.

Ahhh. Well, we had a
few, but they all died.

Ohhh. That's a pity.

Usually, they last forever.

- Janet, baby!
- Oh. Hi, Mr. Compton.

How's the little girl
with the big brown eyes?

My eyes are up
here, Mr. Compton.

So I got bad aim.

Listen, how's the new girl I
sent you? She shaping up?

She shaped up
before she got here.

What's that? Uh,
oh, she's great.

She's fine. I really like her.
She's very conscientious.

Listen, Janet. I appreciate what you've
been doing here since that jerk walked out.

Ohh. You're a
champ, a real champ.

Really? Absolutely.

And I got a big
surprise for you.

A surprise? Mm-hmm.

Oh, hi, Mr. Compton.
Nice to see you again.

Chloe, you look "terrifico."

And I love that dress.

Oh, it isn't that much. I know.
That's what I love about it.

Uh, Mr. Compton,
that surprise? Hmm?

Oh, yes, uh, by
the way, uh, Chloe,

Janet tells me you're
doing a good job here.

I'm trying, but Janet's
been a big help.

Oh. She's a terrific person.

Oh, Mr. Compton,
what about that surprise?

Right! Well, I decided not to
hire a guy to run this place after all.

No kidding?

So, Janet... Yes, Mr. Compton?

Meet your new manager.

A little wine for the occasion.

Chateau Supermarket.

Hey. Aren't we jumping the
gun with this celebration dinner?

I mean, suppose
Janet didn't get the job.

Think positive. She got the job.

Aha! There she is...

Miss Rose Petal of 1977!

You trying to be funny? I'm sorry,
Mr. Roper. I thought you were Janet.

I've come to unclog you.

You're not touching
me with that thing.

You-You're really a
very strange person.

Here she is. Come on.

♪♪

Think she got the job?

It's hard to tell.

Ooh! Are you ready for this?

That creep Compton gave
the job to Chloe Stoutmeyer.

Oh, no. Who's Chloe Stoutmeyer?

She's a girl he just hired.

Oh, what's she got
that you haven't got?

Arthritis?

Ohhh, you. You and
your positive thinking.

Jack, I didn't need your help
here. I needed it down here.

Oh, that is terrible. Yeah. What a
dumb way to pick a new manager.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You probably
would have done the same thing.

- You men are all alike.
- Hey. Now, wait a minute.

It just happens, I
hardly notice busts at all.

I never think about that stuff.

As far as I'm concerned, this girl who
got the manager's job, this Chesty...

- That's Chloe.
- I mean Chloe.

Oh, Janet is right.
You men are all alike.

"You men are all alike."

Would you two stop exaggerating? Janet,
you're making mountains out of molehills.

I wish I hadn't said that.
Uh, I'll make the salad.

Oh, Janet, I am so sorry you didn't
get the job. Oh, thank you, Chrissy.

You know, when I
first started high school,

I had absolutely
no figure at all.

I kept praying I would blossom.

One day... One day, the
teacher asked the class...

to locate the Great
American Flatlands.

Every single boy in
class pointed to me.

Oh, boy! You must've died. Ohhh!

You know, it is that stupid male
attitude we had to grow up with.

I know. I know. If we didn't need
training bras by the time we were 10,

our lives were ruined.

Why are guys so hung
up on a big bosom?

It's because they're all brainwashed.
Look in this magazine here.

There's not an add in here
that doesn't have cleavage.

Do you honestly need a blonde
in a bikini to sell a sports car?

Or a redhead in a wet
T-shirt to sell a lawn sprinkler?

Or look at this one. I
mean, is it really necessary...

to show a woman
in her underwear?

That's an ad for underwear.

Oh.

Boy, this whole thing
has given me a headache.

I think I'll go lie down
for awhile. Oh, Janet...

No. Please, I really don't
want to talk about it anymore.

Okay.

Oh, hi, Chrissy.

Look, I wondered if I could
ask you kids to do me a favor.

Oh, sure. Come on
in. Hi, Mrs. Roper.

Oh, hi, Jack. Well, look. I just...
I just came up to let you know...

that I might be going away for
a week or so to visit relatives.

Oh, how nice. Where?
Sunset Pines Hospital.

Huh? I mean San Francisco.

And, well, anyway, I just
thought you might, uh,

keep an eye on
Stanley while I'm gone.

- Why? What's he gonna do?
- Nothing, as usual.

You know, Chrissy,
he might get lonely.

Do you know that he's never
been left alone since he was a child?

He was left alone as a child?

Yes, but then the police went and found
his parents and made them come back home.

Mrs. Roper. Yes?

You said something about
visiting relatives in a hospital?

Oh, oh. Yeah, uh... Oh,
well. I guess I can tell you.

But I want to keep it a secret from
Mr. Roper. See, I wanna surprise him.

Oh, well, I don't think that
you should tell us then, either.

Tell us. Tell us.

Well, I'm thinking
about having a face-lift.

- A face-lift?
- I got the idea
from this magazine here.

That's kind of a big
step to take, isn't it?

Yeah, but it'll be worth it.

I'll come back looking
like a new woman...

and then Stanley will feel
like he's cheating on me,

and that always
turns a man on, right?

Have you gone nuts?

Oh, Stanley.

- I didn't know you were up here.
- Obviously.

I'm only doing it for you. I'll
come back all smooth and pretty.

If I wanted somebody smooth and pretty,
I would've married somebody like that.

I think he meant
that as a compliment.

Look, Helen, maybe I
don't say it often enough,

but I love you just
the way you are.

Ohhh. So don't change, huh?

Oh, Stanley.

Come downstairs as
quick as you can, huh?

If you know what I mean.

There's no hurry, Helen.

Name That Tune doesn't
go on for a half an hour.

I better go see about
the rest of dinner.

Oh, Mr. Roper, you
made your wife real happy.

Yeah, well... You'd really be upset
if she had a face-lift, wouldn't you?

Darn right. You know
what those things cost?

What's going on out here?

Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Roper were having
an argument about her having a face-lift.

Where did she get a
dumb idea like that?

In this magazine. It's all about how women
can completely make themselves over.

Get a new nose, new rear
end, a new bust... New bust?

Let me see that dumb magazine.

Hi. Hi.

How'd things go at work
today with the new manager?

Oh, I didn't go to work
today. I went to see a doctor.

- What about?
- A bust job.

What? Bust job. Bust job.

I'm gonna fight fire with fire.

Oh, that is crazy! Oh, yeah?

Well, just look at these
photos the doctor gave me.

Before and after.

Wow! What a difference!

Yeah. Yeah, see
what I mean? Look.

In just a few hours,
rags to riches.

This one looks like she should be flying
over the Coliseum during a football game.

Is that what you want?
Oh, come on, Chrissy.

If I'm gonna compete out
there, I need all the help I can get.

Yeah, but if you do this, you're gonna
need help just standing up in the morning.

Okay, okay. If you can't
understand, let's just forget it.

Oh. All I'm saying is just think
about how it might turn out.

You're right. You're right.

Maybe I should think about
how it'll feel, huh? Yeah.

Hi, Chrissy. Hi.

What do you got there?
You can't see them.

Why not? Well, they're
the doctor's pictures.

Is he that ugly?

No. Janet got them
from a plastic surgeon.

Ohh, wel... Hold it.

She's not thinking of getting
one of those chest jobs, is she?

I didn't tell you that,
so don't ask me.

Well, that's ridiculous. I'm
not gonna let Janet do that!

Oh, no. She already did it.

Well? What do you think?

I didn't think you could
get it done that fast.

You like 'em? Oh, yeah.
They're tremendous.

I mean, terrific!

Good, good.

Then you can hold them
while I take a shower.

Hi. I mean, "Hi."

Hi. Is Janet here?
I'm Chloe Stoutmeyer.

Oh. You're Chloe. Yeah. I
should have known you anywhere.

Come on in. I'm Jack.

Oh. Chrissy, this is Chloe.
Chloe, this is Chrissy.

How nice. Janet, you have
a visitor! It's your manager.

Chloe? Oh, well...

I suppose you wanna know
why I wasn't at work today.

No. I came to say
good-bye. I'm quitting.

You're quitting?

Would you like to
sit down, Chloe?

Thank you. Sure.

I know now why I
got that manager's job.

Mr. Compton invited me up to his apartment
after work to go over some forms...

and he started with mine.

Oh, that's Compton all right.

He didn't even ask me. I
mean, when you're built like me,

men just take it for
granted you'll say "yes."

You know, Janet, I can't remember
the last time a man looked at my eyes.

They could be hard-boiled
eggs for all they'd notice.

Oh, you have lovely eyes. I'm
sure lots of men notice, right, Jack?

Oh, right. I noticed your
lovely eggs the minute... eyes!

I am so tired of whistles
and dumb remarks.

"Hey, baby, how about coming over
here and keeping the rain off of me?"

What do they say on sunny days?

Oh. I'm... I'm sorry.

Chloe, listen to me. There's nothing
wrong with having a great body.

There shouldn't be,

but it gets in the
way sometimes.

Oh, Janet, I wish
I was like you.

What?

You get respect. You get hired
because you know your job.

Well, yes, but...

When you talk, men listen.
They're interested in your viewpoint.

When I talk, they're only
interested in the view!

See how lucky you are, Janet?

Oh, I have to go. Oh. Okay.

And will you tell Mr. Compton
I don't wanna play?

Sure, Chloe. Sure.

It was nice working
with you. I learned a lot.

So did I. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Well?

Well,

I guess I'll just stay the
way I am... small but sincere.

That's my girl.

You know, she's right. Men can
be really lousy to girls built like her.

Yeah. We should
learn to ignore the body.

You're right. That's right.

And you girls should
learn to ignore my body.

What? What?

What? I've noticed the way
you've been looking at me...

Undressing me with your eyes.

Ohhh!

I'm not gonna wear that
jersey pullover anymore.

I know it clings, but I
don't want to drive you mad.

Well, let's have a peek!
Oh, yes. Please, Jack!

Back! Resist! Oh, please!

Waaah!

Waaah!

Waaah. Waaah!

Unh. Ohh.

Hi. Hi.

How was your first day as
Compton's new acting manager?

Yea! Yea!

Long, hard and exhausting.

- Didn't you like it?
- I loved it.

Did you find a
replacement for Chloe?

Oh, sure did. Got
somebody who's very bright,

nice-looking and
has a wonderful body.

- Why'd you hire
a girl like that?
- Who said I hired a girl?

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