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1
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:12,262
Ho, ho, ho, guys.
2
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:14,472
Ho, ho, ho, indeed.
3
00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:16,808
Here he is,
dear old Santa Clogs,
4
00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:20,145
handing out treats
to the recently inconvenienced.
5
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:23,231
Marv Putnam has put me in charge
6
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:27,444
of doing some brand image
rehabilitation for Softees
7
00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:29,237
after our bloody man mitts
8
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:33,658
caused a bit of a sewer clog
situation, allegedly.
9
00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:37,245
Well, Marv will finally see what
old Ken Davies is capable of
10
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,789
when he is given total control
of a project.
11
00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:42,792
These may look like ordinary
ice creams, but in actual fact,
12
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:47,005
they are sample rolls of
peppermint-scented toilet paper.
13
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:52,010
This isn't ice cream!
It's toilet paper!
14
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,845
Why does it smell like dessert?
15
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,930
It's peppermint-infused tissue,
16
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,433
madam, in the shape
of the thing it smells of.
17
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,269
What about that do you not
understand? I'm sorry.
18
00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:03,021
No. No, no, chill!
You have to chill!
19
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:06,358
Drive. Drive!
20
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:07,901
Drive! KID: Keep throwing!
21
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,819
And remember,
Softees is quality
22
00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:10,944
because Softees cares.
23
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:12,029
Drive.
24
00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:44,728
Hey.
25
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:48,941
I can't see you.
26
00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:52,112
-Approved.
-Thank you.
27
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,072
Ned got Oscar to pay
for food and gas
28
00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:56,032
for me and Detrick today.
29
00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:57,993
We're investigating this farm
three hours south of here
30
00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,452
that might be a cult.
31
00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:01,705
They might also just love
growing squash,
32
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:05,667
and all shop at the same
poncho store, but come on.
33
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,377
Also my neighbor's son is there,
34
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,004
and he missed
his mom's birthday,
35
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,506
so I promised her
we'd get to the bottom of it.
36
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,758
I'm not a hundred percent sure
it's a cult,
37
00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:16,594
but it's a fun story for Mare.
38
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:22,350
And I got the gas money
approved, so that's fun too.
39
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,644
Hey. Ready to go?
40
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:27,939
-Um... I'm not going.
-What?
41
00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:30,025
Last night,
I had a messed up dream.
42
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,069
There was a guy in it.
He-He was wearing a red poncho.
43
00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,821
He handed me a robe.
44
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:37,657
And he said, Brother Detrick,
don this.
45
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:40,827
I didn't even know I knew
what "don" meant.
46
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,329
-But I... I donned it.
-So you dream-joined the cult?
47
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:46,791
I just don't think I should go.
I'm too susceptible.
48
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:49,419
Oh, this is
the squash collective?
49
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,463
I can go with you
if Detrick can't.
50
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,923
Uh, why?
So you can be my bodyguard?
51
00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:56,134
No.
Because it's my favorite stall
52
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:57,510
at the farmer's market.
53
00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:59,179
Love to see
where they grow it all.
54
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:02,098
If someone tries to hurt you,
I will just let them.
55
00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:03,558
-Can I come?
-All right.
56
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:04,726
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
57
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:06,895
Ah...
58
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,189
Don't drink the Kool-Aid, okay?
59
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,648
-I won't.
-Okay.
60
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:27,415
A few weeks ago,
in the archive room,
61
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:31,336
someone found a picture
of Barry when he was 30,
62
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,421
and he was very handsome.
63
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:37,592
So that image stuck in my mind
for several days.
64
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:40,053
But then Barry did something
very inappropriate,
65
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:43,765
because when you think about
a man that way,
66
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,893
he knows that he can come
into your dreams,
67
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,396
and he can have his way
with you.
68
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:54,317
I am very sorry to say
that Barry took that liberty.
69
00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:59,280
If it happened once, it would be
okay, because I was willing.
70
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,366
There was a mutual attraction.
71
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,326
But then it happened
every night!
72
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:07,706
Like,
Barry has come every night,
73
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:12,919
unbidden, into my dreams,
and he has had me.
74
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:16,715
I have my needs,
like everybody else,
75
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:20,135
maybe more,
but he is insatiable.
76
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,971
And then the day after,
I come into the office,
77
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,849
and he pretends like
nothing happened.
78
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,976
How dares he?
79
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:35,608
New comment on my South Pacific
review at the Stranahan?
80
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:38,486
"Do you get paid by the adverb
over there?
81
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,864
Write less pretentiously,
asshat."
82
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:44,117
Oh, man.
Gomudhens10 strikes again.
83
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,952
-It's brutal.
-You know who this is?
84
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:49,414
Gomudhens10 is a troll
on our website
85
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:52,584
who pounces on us every time
we make a tiny mistake
86
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,919
and also includes
some weirdly dated
87
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,297
internet meme insult from 2012.
88
00:04:57,422 --> 00:05:00,300
"Wow, your third article about
brook trout this week.
89
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:03,345
It's amaze-balls how you
refuse to broaden your scope."
90
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,388
"Er-mer-gerd.
91
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:07,640
Dangling modifier alert."
92
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,768
I don't...
I don't understand any of that.
93
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:12,979
"Epic fact check fail."
94
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:16,107
This is funny.
Gomudhens10 is funny.
95
00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:17,484
Yeah, they're so mean,
96
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,049
-but they're always right.
-Mm, yeah.
97
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:23,698
Not... Not that they're right
in this instance, boss.
98
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,909
Yeah, that's totally wrong.
99
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,994
Relax! Stop throwing that!
100
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,413
Get away from the truck, kids.
101
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,581
Drive! Drive! Drive!
102
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:32,999
Keep throwing!
103
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,626
And remember,
Softees is quality
104
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,002
because Softees cares. Drive.
105
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:39,005
So you're saying
this wasn't your idea?
106
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,924
Well, I mean,
for the sake of gallantry,
107
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,550
I would say it was my idea.
108
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:45,095
But to be completely honest,
109
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:46,471
I'm compelled to say
110
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,557
that it was the idea
of someone else.
111
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:55,772
Named... Nicole Lee.
112
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,482
The girl from the newspaper?
113
00:05:57,607 --> 00:06:01,444
She can be
a forceful little madam.
114
00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:05,281
Well, I don't know what series
of decisions led us here, Ken,
115
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:08,034
but Channel 5 offered to have
you come on this afternoon
116
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,078
-and apologize.
-For which mistake, sorry?
117
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,622
For as many as you can fit
into eight minutes.
118
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:14,249
That's all they've given us.
119
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:18,545
Mm-hmm. Well, I would be
absolutely delighted to do that.
120
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:22,799
Serving children ice cream that
turned out to be toilet paper.
121
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:26,052
We were, indeed,
serving children ice cream
122
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:27,762
that turned out
to be toilet paper.
123
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,514
Yeah, that's a good assessment.
124
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,057
All right,
if we leave right now,
125
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,892
it'll take us like four hours
and change.
126
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,103
Oh.
127
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:38,898
-Wow.
-You can just sit on it.
128
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:41,359
-It's clean trash.
-It's clean trash?
129
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:44,195
-Uh-huh. It's dry.
-All right.
130
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,699
You had a dream
where you had sex with Barry?
131
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,242
No. Did you hear what I said?
132
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:53,955
Barry came into my dreams
and just took me.
133
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,332
It wasn't like a dream
that you make up.
134
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:57,959
It was him.
135
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,170
I'm confused. Like a nightmare?
136
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:01,671
Oh, no.
137
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,381
Oh, no, no.
138
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:04,799
Oh, no, he was wonderful, heh.
139
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:08,595
Very surprising.
I can't complain about that. No.
140
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:12,307
It's just that I think
he's an incubus,
141
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,518
like he is a sexual demon.
142
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:18,772
Right. Hmm.
Maybe that's something
143
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:21,107
you should talk about
with a professional.
144
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,233
Oh, yes.
145
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:25,402
Right.
146
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,740
Oh, man. This is so much fun.
147
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,492
-Yeah. This is great.
-I love it.
148
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:33,995
It'd be so great.
149
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:36,581
Road trip.
150
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,792
-Road trip. Road trip.
-Road trip.
151
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:41,503
-Road trip. Road trip.
-Road trip. Road trip.
152
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,008
Kill, fuck, marry
everybody in the office.
153
00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:50,679
I'd marry them all.
154
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,891
-You?
-Fuck Ken.
155
00:07:57,435 --> 00:08:00,021
-God.
-And kill Ken.
156
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,314
Before or after?
157
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:03,900
-Same time.
-Might be easier.
158
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,443
-Marry Nicole.
-Yeah.
159
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:06,945
-Marry Nicole?
-Of course.
160
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:08,530
-My best friend.
-She's great.
161
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:12,033
I hope I'm too smart
to join a cult, but who knows?
162
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,160
I fell for Blue Apron,
so clearly there's a hole...
163
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:16,121
...in my life, right?
164
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:19,499
I think the right cult
could totally get me.
165
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:20,624
-You?
-Yes.
166
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,043
Skeptical you? No way.
167
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,628
No, sometimes I think I enjoy
168
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:26,172
the structure of the Army
too much.
169
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,508
You never have to think
about what to wear.
170
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,844
Ugh, you just eat whatever's
under the foil.
171
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,014
Hey. sheep.
172
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,100
Mm.
173
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:41,104
Oh, that one...
That one looks like Flossie.
174
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,231
-See that one?
-Flossie?
175
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:48,069
Oh, my parents got me a, uh,
a pet lamb when I was 7.
176
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,280
Wait, but I thought you grew up
in Cleveland Heights.
177
00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:51,948
Yeah,
we went to a petting zoo...
178
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:53,158
Uh-huh.
179
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:56,202
...and I fell in love
with this lamb,
180
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:58,204
and I just begged my parents
to get me one
181
00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,998
for the longest time,
and I kept at it,
182
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:03,126
and eventually
they got me Flossie.
183
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,169
Wow.
184
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:06,504
And Flo...
Flossie was a live sheep.
185
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,381
A lamb, yes.
186
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:09,841
And she was amazing.
187
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,677
I loved her, but she was
never fully housebroken.
188
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,221
-Mm-hmm.
-And so eventually,
189
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:17,766
my dad sent her away
to go live on a farm.
190
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:22,896
What?
191
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,981
What?
192
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:28,109
I mean, there's like
193
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,487
300 unrelatable things
about what you just said.
194
00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:32,072
-No, no.
-First of all,
195
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,491
that you were a young boy
who desired a sheep.
196
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,701
Then, your parents
actually bought you one.
197
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:37,827
-Mm-hmm.
-Like, bought you
198
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,621
a full-on live sheep,
199
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,623
and now you think the poor thing
200
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,084
lived to
a ripe old age on a farmstead.
201
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:47,504
-They sent photos.
-I love it so much.
202
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:51,174
You had the childhood
of, like, a Hungarian prince.
203
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,717
Don't make it a class thing.
204
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,511
-Are you kidding?
-I had a dog too.
205
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,097
-Sheep aren't that expensive.
-Really? What did Flossie eat?
206
00:09:58,348 --> 00:09:59,766
Cook would give it
our leftovers.
207
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:01,059
What?
208
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,977
No, I didn't have a...
209
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:06,398
Flossie's assistant
gave it hay and flowers.
210
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,942
Yeah, I was a little worried
when Ned asked to come along.
211
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:10,735
It meant he didn't trust me
or something,
212
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,362
but he's actually been
really fun.
213
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:17,158
Uh, Oscar, do you have
the order number for...
214
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:20,453
"Asshat" is just such
an unforgivably stupid word.
215
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,455
"Unforgivably"? Another adverb.
216
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,582
Okay, well, it's a vile thing
to call someone.
217
00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:26,960
Dude, you gotta move on, okay?
218
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:28,753
Oh, no, no, no.
I think it's funny.
219
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,296
That's where I'm coming from.
220
00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:34,050
But all I'm saying is how...
how stupid it is.
221
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:37,262
Because... What?
So in this scenario, what?
222
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:40,724
I'm a little hat worn by an ass?
An ass wears a hat?
223
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:45,145
Or am I an ass-shaped hat? What?
224
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,771
-Do you see what I'm saying?
-Mm-hmm.
225
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:49,024
I... You just...
I wanna find them.
226
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:52,694
I wanna find them
and... and grab them and just...
227
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:57,449
Explain to them how funny it is,
228
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:59,909
the whole scenario,
how amusing it is to me.
229
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,162
That's all. Because you can't...
230
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,664
But you can't
because it's computers
231
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,249
and it's internet,
232
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:07,918
so you can't tell them
'cause you can't find them
233
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,161
-'cause there's no way...
-Track down their IP address.
234
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,839
-IP address?
-Yeah, it's traceable.
235
00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:15,300
-I can track them.
-No, no, no, Oscar.
236
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,927
Look at me, dude.
Revenge is a very dark road
237
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:19,929
and it can be
surprisingly expensive.
238
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:22,974
What road? We're chatting,
and I'm chatting, and that's it.
239
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,476
But thank you. I appreciate it.
240
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,311
Okay, but if you do wanna
go down this road,
241
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:31,107
y-you'd call IT,
and the number is 3-2-7-1.
242
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,444
Thank you, Adam.
I'll just take it. Just...
243
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:36,445
Thank you.
244
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,828
I never told you to rent
an ice cream truck.
245
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:45,038
I don't know if I've ever
even spoken to you.
246
00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:46,998
Mm-hmm. The important thing is
247
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,668
Marv thinks it was your idea,
248
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:50,835
so we are where we are.
249
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,200
-But...?
-Does this ring a bell?
250
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:53,672
"Dear Ken,
my name is Nicole Lee.
251
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:55,340
I would like to shadow you."
252
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:58,468
I wrote that two years ago
and you never responded.
253
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:01,096
This is me responding.
Welcome aboard.
254
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:05,558
You are Joe Radlingshaffer,
255
00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:08,812
host of
WNWO's Afternoon Delights.
256
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,271
-Mr. Davies...
-Hmm?
257
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:13,024
What is your response
and Softee's response
258
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,026
-to the sewer crisis?
-Mm-hmm.
259
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:18,154
Hello, Madame Radlingshaffer.
260
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,031
What? What is that face for?
261
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:22,367
-You just... seem weird.
-Uh-huh.
262
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:23,952
I think we need you
to come across
263
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,788
-in a more relatable way.
-Shall I lose my tie?
264
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,374
Mm! No, I don't think
that's gonna get you there.
265
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:30,709
Damn it.
266
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:33,461
I know what Ken's doing.
He needs a scapegoat.
267
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:34,796
But guess what?
268
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,631
Goats climb fast.
269
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,844
Hey, um,
Detrick was gonna read over
270
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:43,930
our interview questions out loud
so we could go over them.
271
00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:46,266
-Oh, cool.
-Uh-huh.
272
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:49,394
But we don't need to go
over them. I bet they're great.
273
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,312
Thanks.
274
00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:56,151
-Mare Pritti.
-Mare, hi. Bethany DeAdona.
275
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,861
I write for
Cleveland Today Magazine.
276
00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:00,196
I read your piece
about the Toledo sewer clog.
277
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:02,574
Really impressive work.
278
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:04,826
That's... Wow.
279
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,745
-Thank you so much.
-So I'm interested in...
280
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,330
-Get that spider?
-...journalistic independence
281
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:09,789
-from corporate ownership.
-Oh.
282
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,666
-Do you have a minute to talk?
-Yeah, sure.
283
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,252
Really fantastic reporting,
by the way.
284
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:15,045
I mean, thank you
for the kind words.
285
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,629
You deserve them.
286
00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:18,298
It must have been
really stressful
287
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:19,924
to stand up to corporate
like that.
288
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,384
Yeah, it was stressful
289
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:22,803
to, um, stand up...
290
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,554
-Cup? Do you have a cup?
-No, I don't.
291
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,637
To stand up to, uh,
corporate like that.
292
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:27,891
-Um...
-Can I use this?
293
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:31,227
-Uh-huh.
-And, uh, I...
294
00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:32,771
-Are you there?
-You know what? Bethany,
295
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,647
could I put you
on the briefest of holds?
296
00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:36,483
Sure, no problem.
297
00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,526
Thank you so much.
298
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,070
-What the... are you doing?
-I'm just...
299
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,529
-I got a system.
-Just smush it.
300
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,490
I'm not gonna smush it.
I have a system.
301
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:45,492
-Just smush it.
-It's humane.
302
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:46,994
-Can you just please be quiet?
-Sure.
303
00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:49,162
-This is good, right?
-Yeah, it's fantastic.
304
00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:51,373
Okay, so... Thank you.
305
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:52,624
Okay.
306
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,334
Thank you, Bethany. I'm here,
307
00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:56,044
and I have a couple of minutes
for sure.
308
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,254
Great. So I just wanted
to get some more details.
309
00:13:58,380 --> 00:13:59,881
You had to weigh the public good
310
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,467
-against Enervate's interests.
-You know, I...
311
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,094
And you held your own owners
312
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:05,762
-accountable.
-Mm-hmm.
313
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,931
Yeah, that's the first thing
that comes to mind.
314
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,474
That is
what I was thinking about
315
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,679
-when I started the article.
-Is it on me?
316
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:14,229
You take a lot of courage
to write an article like that.
317
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,188
Uh-huh.
318
00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:16,440
I'm having trouble hearing you.
319
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,982
Roll up the window.
320
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:20,318
I know. I'm sure
it's hard to hear me.
321
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,196
-Hello?
-Yes.
322
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:25,198
Great, whenever you're ready.
323
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:26,991
Is everything okay?
324
00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:28,535
No, I'm just so excited about...
325
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,495
Woo-hoo! the article. This...
326
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,122
Yeah, it's really good.
327
00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,666
You know what? I'm just gonna
move you off speaker.
328
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,377
-Is it on me?
-Sorry.
329
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:38,712
-Is it on me?
-I'm visiting my
330
00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,046
grandfather right now.
331
00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:43,591
Barry, I was in the mail room,
332
00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:47,387
and I found this box
with your name on it.
333
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:50,223
It's very small,
but I wonder what it is.
334
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,308
I'm so curious.
335
00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:54,394
-Thanks.
-You're welcome.
336
00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,980
I'm trying to be rational
and practical
337
00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:58,732
about this Barry situation.
338
00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:02,318
Of course, I sprinkled salt
on my doorstep
339
00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:04,070
and on my window sills.
340
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:06,448
That did nothing.
341
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,451
Now, my psychic told me
that there is another method
342
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:12,245
that is scientifically proven
343
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:15,040
that is going to break
the incubus.
344
00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:17,792
Oh, wow. That looks nice.
345
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,919
What the hell?
I think you should wear it
346
00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,881
for seven days and seven nights
without showering and then
347
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:25,508
bury it under a red rock
with the full moon.
348
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,095
Garlic. Yuck.
349
00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:32,515
No, thanks.
350
00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:41,232
What do you mean
even psychics can be wrong?
351
00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:44,861
What the hell? I give you $900
for the amulet, okay?
352
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,237
I want my money back.
353
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:50,950
Oh, you see him coming around?
354
00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:52,660
Wow, you're positive?
355
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:56,790
Oh, because he's shy. I know.
356
00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:59,334
No, I know sometimes
I can be intimidating.
357
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,462
I will give him another chance
for sure. Okay, sì.
358
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:05,048
Yes, yes. I will wire you 100
for the call.
359
00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:06,549
Thank you so much. Ta-ta.
360
00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:10,470
Mm.
361
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:12,263
And what about
the conflict of interest?
362
00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:15,392
Is it true your editor-in-chief
is a former Softees employee?
363
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:19,270
Yes, Ned Sampson.
He was super heroic.
364
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:20,772
He, uh, stood up to corporate
365
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:23,024
and gave me full latitude
to report as I saw fit.
366
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,734
Good for him.
367
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,861
What's his journalistic
philosophy and background?
368
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:30,407
Yeah, you know,
he has a lot of principles,
369
00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,075
wonderful principles,
370
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,077
but he's not, like,
weighed down by experience.
371
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:35,870
You know?
372
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,331
But he trusts his reporters,
and that's why he's great.
373
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:39,708
He knows when
to get out of the way.
374
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,626
Sounds like a dream.
375
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,920
-He's really that hands-off?
-Oh, my God, beyond.
376
00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:45,130
Yeah, very hands-off.
377
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:46,506
I think in this story,
378
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:48,008
the readers read it
before he did.
379
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,552
Wow. Mare, I'll update you
when we publish.
380
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,345
-Okay, great.
-Thanks so much for this.
381
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,070
Bethany? Yeah...
382
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:55,557
That went great.
383
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:58,727
Oh, my God.
384
00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,812
It's my first time
being on the other side.
385
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,147
Uh-huh.
386
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:04,941
Great...
387
00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:07,277
Jesus. Is that the spider?
388
00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:08,570
-It's a raisin.
-Oh.
389
00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,035
Yeah, I think my dad took me
390
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,870
to a pencil sharpener museum
around here.
391
00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:18,705
Hey, are those
your interview questions?
392
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:19,622
Mm-hmm.
393
00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:20,623
I can read through them
394
00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:22,250
now that we're stationary.
395
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,753
Oh. Thought you didn't need
to look them over.
396
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:27,714
Oh. Well,
we have time now, so...
397
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:33,511
Uh-huh.
398
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:38,516
Hey, I hope I didn't say
anything weird in the car.
399
00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:39,768
-Oh! To the reporter?
-Yeah.
400
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,686
No, no, no, no. That was great.
401
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:43,313
'Cause I wasn't trying
to make it sound like you...
402
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,731
No, no, no.
403
00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:46,858
You're finally getting your due.
I'm so happy.
404
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:47,983
Okay.
405
00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,571
Eh...
406
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:54,032
I don't believe
in the exposed knee.
407
00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:57,243
Back home, we would call these
the schoolmaster's delight.
408
00:17:57,369 --> 00:17:59,162
I swore off them for a reason.
409
00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:02,082
You look like the American half
of a Ninety-Day Fiancée.
410
00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:05,502
-Should I do an American accent?
-I would like to hear that.
411
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:07,588
I'd like
a quarter pounder with cheese.
412
00:18:07,671 --> 00:18:09,506
-I can do it better.
-Pretty good.
413
00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:11,383
-Quarter.
-Quarter.
414
00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:13,176
-Quarter.
-Get me a quarter pounder
415
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,428
with cheese for my mom.
416
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,515
-Perfect.
-No notes.
417
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:19,891
You pick that up so fast.
418
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,059
I tell you what,
419
00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:23,311
if you play your cards right,
420
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,563
you could be my new work wife.
421
00:18:25,689 --> 00:18:27,691
Oh, I've stunned her.
422
00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:29,359
Poor girl.
423
00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:33,571
Okay...
424
00:18:33,697 --> 00:18:35,031
-This is it?
-Yeah.
425
00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:37,908
Great.
426
00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:42,497
Hey, guy... I'm so sorry.
You're gonna have to stay back.
427
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,500
The cult dude is kind
of secretive in an on-brand way.
428
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,668
Alleged cult dude.
429
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:51,797
All right.
430
00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:54,259
Hi there. Hey.
431
00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:56,219
Shalom. Shalom?
432
00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:57,345
I don't know.
433
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:01,558
Well, I found out
who the troll is.
434
00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,059
-No.
-You did not.
435
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:04,477
I spoke to IT.
436
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:06,021
I thought
you guys might be curious,
437
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,814
given that it's someone
in the building.
438
00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:09,441
-What?
-What's that?
439
00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:11,776
But since you're not,
I won't tell you who she is.
440
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:13,319
She? Hold up.
441
00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:16,031
-Gomudhens10 is a woman.
-Yeah?
442
00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:19,909
I mean, psh, of course
it could be a woman.
443
00:19:20,035 --> 00:19:23,204
-Anything could be a woman.
-All right, come on. Who is it?
444
00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,914
I... I want to...
445
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,640
I'm at my limit
with this coyness, Oscar.
446
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:27,959
Just tell us who it is.
447
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:30,795
Okay. The IP address Gomudhens10
448
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,840
can be traced to Suite 812,
449
00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:36,676
-Anne Putnam's office.
-Oh, my stars.
450
00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:38,762
-Marv's assistant.
-There's no way.
451
00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:40,221
Anne calls my kids cherubs.
452
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:42,849
-Even Wayne, the worst one.
-She's beautiful.
453
00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:44,226
She's just like a sweet lady.
454
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:45,810
Mm, I don't know.
She once thanked me
455
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,771
to take my feet off my own desk.
456
00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:49,481
Why would someone Anne's age
457
00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:52,108
use words like lame-sauce
or noob?
458
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,693
No, doesn't make any sense.
459
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:56,071
It makes perfect sense.
460
00:19:56,196 --> 00:20:00,909
I see it often
in people over 50.
461
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,453
They get trapped in the year
that they join Facebook.
462
00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:07,916
It's... It's as if the technology
sends their brain into shock
463
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:10,710
and their online personalities
get frozen in time.
464
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:15,840
So Anne is basically
a snarky millennial
465
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:19,344
trapped in the body of a boomer.
466
00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:21,805
Well, they can't all be cults.
467
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,599
What are you talking about?
468
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,226
You heard
what Father Joshua said.
469
00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:28,561
-They're just a farm of friends.
-I'm sor...
470
00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:31,231
-I know you don't believe that.
-Where's your proof?
471
00:20:31,356 --> 00:20:33,775
-I couldn't get any proof.
-Exactly. You couldn't get any...
472
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,111
Because any time I tried
to ask a hard question,
473
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,238
you got awkward
and complimented a pumpkin.
474
00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:40,281
-They were legitimately huge.
-Jesus Christ.
475
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:42,409
And you're not gonna get
anywhere from insulting people.
476
00:20:42,492 --> 00:20:44,119
Well, we didn't get anywhere
anyway, did we?
477
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:45,202
Well...
478
00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:50,458
At least you can tell
your neighbor her son is safe.
479
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:55,422
They said he was selling
zucchini in Canada?
480
00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:57,257
Yeah.
481
00:20:57,382 --> 00:20:59,782
Sounds like he's really rising
through the ranks. It's great.
482
00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:02,095
I cannot tell
if you're being serious.
483
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:03,972
Shit.
484
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:05,015
What's that?
485
00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:07,058
Is there something stuck
to the tire?
486
00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:09,769
Yeah. Probably a piece of gum.
487
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:21,114
You sure you don't want
to call AAA?
488
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:22,239
I got it.
489
00:21:24,242 --> 00:21:27,203
Well, your skills
are very impressive.
490
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,792
I'm just saying,
I have AAA Gold,
491
00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:35,003
unlimited roadside assistance.
492
00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:37,589
Hotel discounts, double points
at Embassy Suites...
493
00:21:37,714 --> 00:21:39,257
Okay, can you
just let me do this?
494
00:21:39,382 --> 00:21:40,967
Sorry for trying to help.
495
00:21:41,092 --> 00:21:43,136
Are you trying to help
or are you just sitting there?
496
00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:46,139
I'll help.
Give me the steel thing.
497
00:21:46,264 --> 00:21:47,599
Do you know how to use
one of these?
498
00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:48,682
I can learn.
499
00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:49,851
If there's reception.
500
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:56,274
Steel... L-bar car.
501
00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:00,737
"You should use more
water displacement
502
00:22:00,862 --> 00:22:02,906
four-zero penetrating oil."
503
00:22:03,031 --> 00:22:05,825
You mean WD-40? Mm-hmm.
504
00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:07,160
-No.
-You know what?
505
00:22:07,285 --> 00:22:08,578
-I think I saw some down there.
-Mm-hmm?
506
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:09,788
With a bunch more reception.
507
00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:11,956
No. Are you...? Oh, real nice.
508
00:22:12,082 --> 00:22:13,416
You're gonna have
to go get that.
509
00:22:13,541 --> 00:22:15,251
Are you kidding me?
510
00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:16,294
I... Go and get the...
511
00:22:16,419 --> 00:22:18,546
Go and get the tire, Mare.
512
00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:21,132
Mare, as your editor,
I command you... Goddamn it!
513
00:22:26,137 --> 00:22:28,890
Watching him run is... tough.
514
00:22:32,686 --> 00:22:35,271
I hate these clothes!
Is this the best look we have?
515
00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:36,690
-Yes!
-Oh, no!
516
00:22:36,815 --> 00:22:37,815
-Yeah!
-Really?
517
00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:40,110
-Yeah!
-Oh, my God.
518
00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:42,863
Do you have the polo
and the shorts?
519
00:22:42,946 --> 00:22:44,280
Shoot, I left them
at the office.
520
00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:46,950
You said
you wanted to look more rustic.
521
00:22:47,033 --> 00:22:49,119
In the heat of the moment,
I said that.
522
00:22:49,244 --> 00:22:52,539
You have to push back on that.
That's the job of an intern.
523
00:22:52,664 --> 00:22:54,290
We're on in five, guys.
524
00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:55,416
-Thanks.
-Thank you.
525
00:22:56,459 --> 00:22:58,670
I'm dead.
I'm gonna lose the lot.
526
00:22:58,795 --> 00:23:01,297
My respect, my visa,
up in smoke.
527
00:23:01,423 --> 00:23:04,801
-You know what, Ken? You know...
-Go on.
528
00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:07,512
I'll do it.
529
00:23:07,637 --> 00:23:10,807
I'll... I'll go ahead
and do the interview for you.
530
00:23:10,932 --> 00:23:12,017
-Seriously?
-Yeah.
531
00:23:12,142 --> 00:23:13,810
-You'll take the heat?
-Sure.
532
00:23:13,935 --> 00:23:17,188
Do you know what? When I decided
to pin all of the blame on you,
533
00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:19,399
that was completely at random.
534
00:23:19,524 --> 00:23:21,818
But now I see everything happens
for a reason.
535
00:23:21,943 --> 00:23:23,778
-Yep.
-Mm-hm. You good?
536
00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,739
Just... nervous.
537
00:23:25,864 --> 00:23:27,824
-Oh, I was nervous a minute ago.
-Yeah.
538
00:23:27,949 --> 00:23:29,909
-Do you want a hat?
-No, I'm okay.
539
00:23:30,035 --> 00:23:33,079
There we are. Look at that.
"Just licky it."
540
00:23:33,204 --> 00:23:35,081
-Wish me luck.
-I'm worried for you.
541
00:23:35,206 --> 00:23:36,666
Oh, yeah.
542
00:23:36,791 --> 00:23:38,710
Oy-oy. Good luck.
543
00:23:45,383 --> 00:23:46,926
We were trying to make a product
544
00:23:47,052 --> 00:23:49,179
to help men and kids stay clean.
545
00:23:49,304 --> 00:23:51,097
But we failed you, Toledo.
546
00:23:51,222 --> 00:23:52,515
And we hope you give us
547
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,184
the chance to make it up to you.
548
00:23:54,309 --> 00:23:55,769
Thank you, Nicole Lee.
549
00:23:55,894 --> 00:23:57,771
And thank you, Toledo,
550
00:23:57,896 --> 00:23:59,439
for trusting us
with your tushies.
551
00:24:01,524 --> 00:24:04,402
Tushies. Great job, Nicole.
552
00:24:06,738 --> 00:24:09,491
Oh. Hey, guys. Marv's busy.
553
00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:10,784
He's watching TV.
554
00:24:10,909 --> 00:24:12,494
Actually, we're here to see you.
555
00:24:12,619 --> 00:24:15,163
Me? Oh, gosh, oh.
Wish I'd worn my good brooch.
556
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:16,164
What about?
557
00:24:16,289 --> 00:24:18,166
About this.
558
00:24:18,291 --> 00:24:20,794
Oh, okay. Well, let me take
a look at what this is.
559
00:24:20,919 --> 00:24:23,088
How you doing there, Detrick?
How... How are your nieces?
560
00:24:23,171 --> 00:24:25,048
Oh, um, they're really good.
561
00:24:25,173 --> 00:24:26,383
Layla just started dancing.
562
00:24:26,508 --> 00:24:28,051
Now Allison,
she's blowing glass...
563
00:24:28,176 --> 00:24:29,176
Dedrick.
564
00:24:30,011 --> 00:24:31,596
Just read the file, Anne.
565
00:24:31,721 --> 00:24:34,891
Or should I say, Gomudhens10?
566
00:24:35,016 --> 00:24:37,977
Yeah. Epic fail, Ann.
567
00:24:38,103 --> 00:24:40,772
Oh, my God.
Who could write this awfulness?
568
00:24:40,897 --> 00:24:42,190
Who could write this?
569
00:24:42,315 --> 00:24:44,484
The world is a sick place,
isn't it?
570
00:24:44,609 --> 00:24:47,070
-Isn't it, you poor kids?
-Come on, Ann.
571
00:24:47,195 --> 00:24:49,197
-You wrote such awfulness.
-No, Oscar.
572
00:24:49,322 --> 00:24:51,491
No, I swear to you,
I had nothing to do with this.
573
00:24:51,616 --> 00:24:54,911
We traced your IP address.
It's you.
574
00:24:55,036 --> 00:24:56,496
We know it's you.
575
00:24:56,621 --> 00:24:58,040
You know it's you,
and you should be ashamed.
576
00:24:58,123 --> 00:24:59,708
Well, you don't gotta
yell at her, dude.
577
00:24:59,833 --> 00:25:02,127
-Well, okay.
-Oh, dear.
578
00:25:02,252 --> 00:25:04,004
Marv was right. Marv was right.
579
00:25:04,129 --> 00:25:06,172
He told me that I should
set a password.
580
00:25:06,297 --> 00:25:08,008
And I always said,
well, Marv, what for?
581
00:25:08,133 --> 00:25:10,468
I haven't had a secret
since I was 30. Heh.
582
00:25:10,593 --> 00:25:14,222
And... And he was...
He was right.
583
00:25:14,347 --> 00:25:16,683
I mean, I'm up and down
from my desk all day long,
584
00:25:16,808 --> 00:25:18,018
running errands for Marv.
585
00:25:18,143 --> 00:25:19,811
And anybody
could just sneak in here,
586
00:25:19,936 --> 00:25:22,480
and they could do whatever
they wanted with my computer.
587
00:25:22,605 --> 00:25:25,525
-I mean, they could do porn.
-Yeah.
588
00:25:25,650 --> 00:25:27,360
Oh, God.
589
00:25:27,485 --> 00:25:29,154
They shouldn't even give these
590
00:25:29,237 --> 00:25:31,114
to old fools like me.
591
00:25:31,239 --> 00:25:32,615
-No.
-You're not old.
592
00:25:32,741 --> 00:25:34,284
You're a little old, but...
593
00:25:34,409 --> 00:25:36,578
Look, I didn't even think
of that as a possibility, okay?
594
00:25:36,661 --> 00:25:38,580
And so maybe we should not
have ambushed you.
595
00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:40,957
-Maybe we should have...
-We're really, really sorry.
596
00:25:41,082 --> 00:25:42,709
No, no, I am sorry.
597
00:25:42,834 --> 00:25:45,170
No, no, no.
I feel partially responsible.
598
00:25:45,295 --> 00:25:47,797
We apologize to you, okay?
599
00:25:47,922 --> 00:25:51,092
And, uh, we apologize,
and that's a beautiful brooch.
600
00:25:51,217 --> 00:25:52,969
-Yeah. Very beautiful.
-He's my boss.
601
00:25:53,094 --> 00:25:55,972
-I feel terrible.
-Don't beat yourself up.
602
00:25:57,932 --> 00:26:00,185
I do think that
whoever that troll is,
603
00:26:00,310 --> 00:26:02,312
that they just want
to hold the Truth Teller
604
00:26:02,437 --> 00:26:04,564
to a high standard of quality,
that's all.
605
00:26:04,689 --> 00:26:07,776
Marv invests a lot of money
in that paper.
606
00:26:07,901 --> 00:26:11,488
So we've got to make sure
that it's awesome sauce.
607
00:26:15,367 --> 00:26:18,119
-We're sharing?
-No.
608
00:26:18,244 --> 00:26:19,621
This is for you.
609
00:26:19,746 --> 00:26:23,083
You earned a treat because
of the tire change.
610
00:26:23,208 --> 00:26:25,043
Unfortunately, I didn't,
because apparently
611
00:26:25,168 --> 00:26:26,503
-I messed up the interview.
-Oh, my God...
612
00:26:26,586 --> 00:26:28,672
So there's just only one float,
which is for you.
613
00:26:28,797 --> 00:26:31,800
I don't want you to watch me
eat a float, you weird martyr.
614
00:26:31,925 --> 00:26:33,009
I didn't earn it.
615
00:26:35,428 --> 00:26:38,264
-Take a sip of the float.
-I'm not drinking the float.
616
00:26:38,390 --> 00:26:40,308
Take a tiny little sip
of the float.
617
00:26:40,433 --> 00:26:41,559
You take a sip of the float.
618
00:26:41,685 --> 00:26:42,811
It'd mean a lot to me
if you take
619
00:26:42,894 --> 00:26:44,270
a tiny sip of the float.
620
00:26:44,396 --> 00:26:46,023
-I didn't earn it.
-Have a sip of the float.
621
00:26:46,106 --> 00:26:48,650
-You have to earn a treat.
-Put your tiny little lips
622
00:26:48,775 --> 00:26:51,861
around that straw and have
a little bit of the float.
623
00:26:52,696 --> 00:26:54,114
No, thanks.
624
00:26:54,239 --> 00:26:55,990
Oh, my God.
What is wrong with you today?
625
00:26:56,116 --> 00:26:58,243
Why are you needing to be
Mr. Boss everywhere we go?
626
00:26:58,368 --> 00:27:01,121
I don't need to be Mr. Boss,
okay?
627
00:27:01,246 --> 00:27:02,747
Because I amMr. Boss.
628
00:27:02,872 --> 00:27:03,707
Jesus.
629
00:27:03,832 --> 00:27:05,625
-I'm so sorry.
-Sorry.
630
00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:07,085
He actually can be
as loud as he wants
631
00:27:07,168 --> 00:27:08,878
because he's Mr. Boss, so...
632
00:27:11,464 --> 00:27:14,467
Are you... ever gonna take me
seriously as an editor.
633
00:27:14,592 --> 00:27:16,553
I-I-I'm not confused about
634
00:27:16,678 --> 00:27:19,139
how weird it is
that I have this job,
635
00:27:19,264 --> 00:27:21,683
but I have it,
so I'm not just gonna let you do
636
00:27:21,808 --> 00:27:24,310
whatever you want to do
all the time. I'm sorry.
637
00:27:24,436 --> 00:27:26,271
-Because you don't trust me.
-I do trust you.
638
00:27:26,396 --> 00:27:28,064
I made you editor
when I resigned.
639
00:27:28,189 --> 00:27:29,816
Oh, my God, for two hours.
640
00:27:29,941 --> 00:27:31,985
It's very clear you think
I'm dumber than you.
641
00:27:32,110 --> 00:27:33,403
I don't think
you're dumber than me.
642
00:27:33,486 --> 00:27:34,404
Yes, you do.
643
00:27:34,529 --> 00:27:35,781
Oh, Mare, wow,
you're so impressive
644
00:27:35,864 --> 00:27:36,990
with your manual labor.
645
00:27:37,115 --> 00:27:38,783
Oh! Oh, Ned,
you're so hands-off.
646
00:27:38,908 --> 00:27:39,993
Wanna know what I think is dumb?
647
00:27:40,076 --> 00:27:41,356
-What?
-A person who takes squash
648
00:27:41,453 --> 00:27:43,872
from a full-on Manson family.
Okay?
649
00:27:43,997 --> 00:27:46,875
-We couldn't prove it.
-They wore matching ponchos!
650
00:27:49,544 --> 00:27:51,546
Mare, could you give me
the receipt, please?
651
00:27:51,671 --> 00:27:53,591
I don't want it to disappear
in the recycling bin
652
00:27:53,715 --> 00:27:55,675
-you call a car.
-Yeah, sorry, my car
653
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:56,968
doesn't come with a maid.
654
00:27:57,093 --> 00:27:59,054
-Dick.
-Hello?
655
00:28:01,514 --> 00:28:02,514
What?
656
00:28:04,100 --> 00:28:06,686
That's... What nominations?
657
00:28:09,064 --> 00:28:12,025
Uh... Okay, no, wait. I'm gonna
put you on speaker for Mare.
658
00:28:12,150 --> 00:28:13,735
-Say that again.
-Hi.
659
00:28:13,860 --> 00:28:15,779
Oh, good.
You didn't join the cult.
660
00:28:15,904 --> 00:28:18,239
Yeah, the nominations
in the Ohio Journalism Awards
661
00:28:18,365 --> 00:28:20,533
came through.
And Mare, you got nominated
662
00:28:20,658 --> 00:28:22,160
for the best
short investigative piece
663
00:28:22,285 --> 00:28:24,329
for "Softees Clogs Toledo."
664
00:28:24,454 --> 00:28:25,789
-No.
-Ned, there's more.
665
00:28:25,914 --> 00:28:27,290
The whole paper's up
666
00:28:27,415 --> 00:28:28,750
for overall excellence
in journalism.
667
00:28:28,833 --> 00:28:30,585
The whole paper.
So start writing a speech.
668
00:28:30,710 --> 00:28:32,379
-Um...
-Don't forget to thank me.
669
00:28:32,504 --> 00:28:34,714
I-I won't. Thank you so much.
Peace.
670
00:28:34,839 --> 00:28:38,510
-I mean, uh, bye.
-Oh, my God, it's true.
671
00:28:38,635 --> 00:28:40,553
-Holy shit.
-This is incredible.
672
00:28:40,679 --> 00:28:42,597
What's...
673
00:28:42,722 --> 00:28:44,140
Oh, my God!
674
00:28:47,686 --> 00:28:48,686
Yes!
675
00:29:07,122 --> 00:29:11,209
You have been kissing on
the 17th day of the month.
676
00:29:11,334 --> 00:29:14,671
I command you to forsake me.
677
00:29:14,796 --> 00:29:17,382
Set me free, set me free,
set me free.
678
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:19,800
The spell is broken.
679
00:29:21,761 --> 00:29:22,761
Okay, fine.
49864
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