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1
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:15,474
-Hey. Water department figures.
-Oh, did that guy call back?
2
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,309
Oh, "Mr.
I Was Just About To Call..."
3
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:19,144
-No, no, no. The...
-Yes.
4
00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:20,270
He said the inspection budget's
5
00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:21,647
-down 10 percent.
-Down?
6
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:22,940
-Yeah.
-Great. So...
7
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,107
You know who I'm gonna
follow up with?
8
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:25,108
Angie.
9
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,276
Okay.
10
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:27,653
Hey, Ed. You wanted to see me?
11
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,489
Hey. Adam,
did you just call me "Ed"?
12
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,658
-My name's Ned.
-It's short for editor-in-chief.
13
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:35,494
I saw you and Mare talking fast
to one another, and I thought,
14
00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:37,579
"You guys wanna save some time?
Watch this."
15
00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:39,663
Well, it worked.
16
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,084
Okay, so,
17
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:45,671
"Local man Victor Premens
stuffed a Dyson in his pants
18
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:48,507
"and walked out of
an East Toledo Target as a joke,
19
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:52,970
but the prudish store manager
didn't get the punchline."
20
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,513
-Crazy.
-It is.
21
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:56,473
Who was your source
for this article?
22
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:57,683
Victor Premens.
23
00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:01,311
The man who stuffed
the vacuum in his pants?
24
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:02,771
Yeah, as a hilarious joke.
25
00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:05,274
Okay.
Did you get any other sources
26
00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,233
-for the article?
-Hmm...
27
00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:11,822
-I did not.
-No, right.
28
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,156
I want you to consider
29
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:14,950
that Victor
may have been lying to you.
30
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,368
-Mm...
-That he only said
31
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:18,495
that it was a joke
because he got caught.
32
00:01:19,287 --> 00:01:21,664
Um... Okay.
33
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,379
I think this could be
the lead story
34
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:28,797
in the "Also News."
35
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,551
-Happy?
-Yeah. Thank you.
36
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:35,345
Oh, yeah, I started something
called the "Also News."
37
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:37,097
We print it right here,
38
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:39,516
it's distributed
only on this floor,
39
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:43,729
and Adam is the star reporter
for the "Also News."
40
00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:46,565
As journalists,
we are going to get lied to.
41
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,400
But one of our jobs
is to separate
42
00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:49,901
fact from fiction.
43
00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:52,279
And to place commas correctly,
right, Adelola?
44
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,323
-It was one comma. Let it go.
-Yeah.
45
00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:55,657
Yeah, so, I wrote a sad story
46
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:58,493
about a woman
who owned a pet pig. Um...
47
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,414
The pig was also named Yvette,
so that didn't help.
48
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,708
So I thought,
as we're all still new to this,
49
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,835
we could play a little game
to train our instincts.
50
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,754
The game is called
"Two Truths And A Lie".
51
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:09,630
It's fun.
52
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,256
Uh, the drinking game, right?
53
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,258
Oh, I would actually prefer
not to drink at work
54
00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:14,259
if that's okay.
55
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:15,302
We're not gonna drink.
56
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:16,928
No one's drinking. Ahem.
57
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:28,106
Okay. Pair up and, uh,
get your BS detectors out.
58
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,150
-Travis.
-Should I get Mare?
59
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,944
Oh, no, she's on deadline.
60
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,445
Right, Mare?
61
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,155
-Right... Hey, Mare.
-I'm on deadline.
62
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:36,364
Okay.
63
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:42,120
Remember, you're listening
for the ring of truth
64
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:44,456
and the clonk of lies.
65
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,374
Okay.
66
00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:50,587
-Go.
-Okay.
67
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,297
I buy a new toothbrush
every week,
68
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,132
I can't feel pain
on the bottoms of my feet,
69
00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:55,342
and I once misdialed
a phone number
70
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,302
and accidentally called
Martin Lawrence.
71
00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:59,554
Okay, well, you don't have
that many good stories.
72
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,098
So I don't think
you would've held onto
73
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,558
the Martin Lawrence thing
for that long, right?
74
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:04,851
Unless it's not
the Martin Lawrence
75
00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:06,645
-that we all know and love.
-Ooh.
76
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,647
May I please see
the bottoms of your feet?
77
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,858
-No.
-Martin Lawrence is a lie.
78
00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:14,069
-Nice. Very good. Very good.
-That was good.
79
00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,279
Thank you.
80
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,489
I once knocked out Muhammad Ali.
81
00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:22,911
-And?
-And what?
82
00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:24,871
Okay, who doesn't have
any good stories?
83
00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:27,374
Oh, my goodness.
You've reached Martin Lawrence.
84
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,835
When you hear that beep,
you know what to do.
85
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,169
What? Yes!
86
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:32,296
Well,
the first time I called him,
87
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,547
he thought I was his niece,
88
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,048
and we had
this sweet heart-to-heart
89
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:36,508
about my spending habits,
90
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,636
but ever since then
it just goes to voicemail, yeah.
91
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:41,805
-Holy crap, that's...
-Who's this?
92
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,391
Wait, he just texted.
"Stop calling this number."
93
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:45,517
Oh! What?
94
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,519
Are you kidding me? For real?
95
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,187
Can you send me his number?
96
00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:21,929
All right. Adam's piece was
picked up by the "Also News,"
97
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,514
so we are one article short.
98
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,850
Oh, how terrible.
99
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,727
Ugh, Ned is still here.
100
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:33,732
Perhaps he has cockroach DNA.
Do you know cockroach?
101
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:37,027
That you try to smash it
but then it doesn't die?
102
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:41,782
He turns on his back, you know?
That's Ned.
103
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:45,911
And you pretend that
you're happy that he's alive.
104
00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:47,245
-Ned.
-Yeah?
105
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:50,498
I really want this to succeed.
106
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:52,918
Thanks.
107
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:56,129
What is our Wirecutter?
108
00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:58,298
What is our Wordle?
109
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:00,008
We need things
110
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:02,844
which keep people's minds
off the bloody news.
111
00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,012
You have to remember
112
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:06,389
People On Toilets.
113
00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,768
-I have an idea.
-Oh, my God.
114
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,437
-How long have you been there?
-The whole time.
115
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,481
I thought
you were a pile of shirts.
116
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:15,607
Nope.
117
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,067
Yes, Mare? Let's hear it.
118
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,778
Ah, so in the 90s,
the paper used to do
119
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,697
this section
called "Shame On You."
120
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:23,991
We'd like,
uncover a business scam
121
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,325
and catch them in the act.
122
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:26,994
Oh. That's... Okay, that's good.
123
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,245
-I like that.
-Yeah.
124
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,329
I've got a list of businesses
125
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,956
who wouldn't advertise with us,
126
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,750
so you can select your targets
from there, Mare.
127
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,460
Mare, do you have a business
in mind?
128
00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,129
Okay, I just bought
a new mattress.
129
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:39,298
Do you know this scam
with mattress stores?
130
00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:40,591
Ugh. Okay, so, basically,
131
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,175
they all carry
the exact same stuff
132
00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:44,720
but change the names
so you can't compare prices.
133
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:46,847
-False advertising scam.
-God yeah.
134
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:47,930
Let's do it.
135
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,809
Okay. Great.
136
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,060
Great.
137
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,148
-Ned.
-Yeah?
138
00:05:56,231 --> 00:06:00,110
I'm so sorry
about the disappointing news.
139
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,861
You must be very sad.
140
00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:06,450
What's...? Uh... Sorry, what?
141
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:09,786
Oh, because you don't know?
About Mare?
142
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:13,874
Mare, the woman whose parents
named her after a horse.
143
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:17,085
She's leaving us
for the hotel business.
144
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:19,671
What?
145
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,215
No, that makes no sense.
146
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:25,010
I literally just sent her out
on a story just now.
147
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:30,599
Sadly, I got a call
from Mr. Bob Willis at Radisson
148
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,392
checking for her references.
149
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:37,481
She got accepted
to a concierge training program,
150
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,691
which we know is:
151
00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:42,569
But it seems like
that's what she wants.
152
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:45,906
-She didn't say anything to me.
-She's embarrassed.
153
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:50,369
I mean, it's giving up
her dreams for a paycheck.
154
00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:51,995
Or maybe
she just doesn't believe in you.
155
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:56,249
She's... She's the only one here
with any reporting experience.
156
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:59,461
I will never get
a fair hearing from Ned.
157
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:04,383
I mean, I could be the most
amazing reporter on this planet,
158
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:05,842
some people say I am.
159
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:08,762
But I could never beat
the sex pheromones
160
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,973
that Mare is putting out there.
161
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:13,433
-I'm gonna talk to her about it.
-Wait! Wait.
162
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:15,060
-What? What?
-Why do you want to do that?
163
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:18,355
Because she's our best reporter
and I don't wanna lose her.
164
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,065
-And?
-And...? What?
165
00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:21,942
You think
she's a beautiful woman?
166
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:24,069
From a certain angle?
With the right light?
167
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,947
What? Oh, okay. No. Um... Hey.
168
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,824
Uh... Uh...
169
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:30,575
That is
incredibly inappropriate.
170
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,160
She's your favorite.
171
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:36,498
I saw you looking at her
like a dog on my auntie's leg.
172
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:39,793
Christ, no, no, no. Stop that.
That is not... Hey, stop that!
173
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:43,422
I would not do that.
I barely... We've been... I...
174
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,841
She works with me.
175
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,926
-My mistake. I apologize.
-Good.
176
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,595
Actually, it's good
because I thought
177
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,805
this would've been
more bad news for you,
178
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,765
but now I feel
that I can tell you
179
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,934
and it's not going to hurt
your feelings.
180
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:58,604
-Yeah.
-Okay, because Mare,
181
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,773
she's, uh, you know, assesuale.
182
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:06,111
-I don't... What...?
-She's "a sexual." Like,
183
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:08,488
-she's not a sexual person.
-Oh.
184
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,449
-I don't... Okay.
-She's not, really.
185
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,743
That's why they want her
at Radisson,
186
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,620
because she is a diversity hire.
187
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:17,873
Sure. I don't...
That's not any of my...
188
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:19,625
-Yeah.
-...business. Whatever way she...
189
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,376
-Of course.
-I don't care about that.
190
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,795
It's just that she's a-sexual.
191
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:26,048
-I got it. Stop.
-Like, this is what she is.
192
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:29,468
First of all, whatever way
Mare wants to live her life
193
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:30,719
is her choice.
194
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:33,138
-Oh, yeah.
-Okay? Second of all...
195
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,808
-are you sure?
-You should ask her.
196
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:40,604
I'm sure she would be okay
to talk about it with you.
197
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,481
Because you are her boss.
198
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,858
You are curious
about her sexuality...
199
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,778
-No.
-...and if the HR lawyers
200
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:51,698
would say anything about it,
I got your back.
201
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,158
Uh...
202
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,617
Mint?
203
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:56,745
Uh...
204
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,497
I'm trying to run a paper here.
205
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:00,415
I can't be losing
my best reporter
206
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:01,750
to the Radisson.
207
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,336
Maybe they'd take Adam.
208
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,094
-Hey.
-Hey, I'm sorry.
209
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,595
I'm just printing these
and I'm off...
210
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:14,596
No, not at all.
211
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:15,931
I'm not rushing you,
212
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,933
just take your time.
213
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,518
It's been around
a hundred years,
214
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:21,436
it'll be around a hundred more.
215
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:23,397
Um...
216
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:27,276
If you had to put odds
on us succeeding,
217
00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:29,069
you know, near future,
long-term.
218
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,070
Mm-hmm?
219
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,405
What are you feeling? A number.
220
00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:33,782
Ninety-five percent.
Ninety-five percent.
221
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,826
-Wow.
-I'm leaving 5 percent open
222
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,161
in case of asteroid,
which'd be a shame
223
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,579
because that would be
a great story.
224
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,123
Great story. Yeah.
225
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:44,626
But, otherwise, no doubts
whatsoever. Hundred percent.
226
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,920
Asteroids are real. Ninety-five.
227
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:50,966
Wow. Well, you can't beat
those odds.
228
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:55,178
I'm sorry, 95 percent?
That's delusional, right?
229
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,431
And a little nerve-wracking,
230
00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:59,099
considering he holds my career
in his hands.
231
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:00,559
Unless he's really amazing.
232
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:03,061
I mean, he did sell
a crazy amount of toilet paper.
233
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:05,480
Okay, I'll see you later.
234
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:09,568
-No, don't. Uh, don't leave.
-What was that?
235
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,653
Let's hunt down
the mattress store story
236
00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:12,988
together, you and me.
237
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:16,950
You wanna come to some
mattress stores with me?
238
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,703
Because you've got such
a fun job, let's both enjoy it.
239
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:23,999
Sure.
Woodward and Woodward's boss.
240
00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:27,419
-Ben Bradlee.
-Okay, you actually knew that.
241
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:31,756
Oh, you run so athletically.
242
00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:36,178
Hey, chief.
243
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,888
Hey, just 'cause
I'm your editor-in-chief,
244
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,765
you don't have to call me that.
245
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:42,351
Uh, I wasn't. I'm just...
I'm not good with names.
246
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:43,810
Um...
247
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:47,814
-Ned.
-Ned! Ned. Ned.
248
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,149
-Ned.
-Ned, Ned, Ned.
249
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:52,444
I knew it was something
old-timey. Ned, got it.
250
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:53,779
-Ned.
-Is this...?
251
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,405
Anyways, "Two Truths and A Lie."
252
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,991
Very helpful. Since I finished
my article already,
253
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,494
I wanted to know if I could
do it with somebody else.
254
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,371
-Like for practice.
-Oh.
255
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:04,373
-Maybe, um, Nicole?
-Travis? Or...?
256
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:08,168
Yeah, yeah, Travis is cool,
but I was thinking more like...
257
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,045
-Adam?
-...Nicole?
258
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:11,463
Whoever you want.
259
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,423
Okay, I'm gonna tell Nicole
you said to do it.
260
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,506
Thanks, Fred.
261
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,094
Detrick.
262
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,971
I don't really think of him
that way.
263
00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:21,765
My type historically
has been know-it-alls
264
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:22,975
who don't really like me.
265
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:25,060
So pretty much
266
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,312
the complete opposite
of Detrick.
267
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,400
Oscar?
268
00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:33,443
-Uh, may I approach?
-You may.
269
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,238
So me and Mare,
270
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,115
we're working on
a really interesting piece.
271
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,783
-I don't care.
-Called "Shame On You."
272
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,743
I know you don't care.
I know you don't.
273
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,078
No pressure, all right?
No pressure.
274
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:44,663
I'm not putting
any pressure on you.
275
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:46,498
I can see that.
276
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:48,792
But just in case
it's not done in time,
277
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:52,337
would you mind whipping up
another sudoku for the paper?
278
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,965
That last one was just...
It was so good.
279
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,967
-I couldn't look away.
-Thank you.
280
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,094
-I'm pretty busy.
-Okay, totally.
281
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:01,305
I know you're good with numbers.
282
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,723
Could be fun.
283
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:06,351
Well, saying that work is fun
is a form of pressure.
284
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:10,063
Quite frankly, it's giving me
PTSD from an old boss.
285
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:13,734
Okay, I apologize.
No more pressure.
286
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:16,361
-I'll put you down as a maybe?
-Don't count on it.
287
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:18,280
Okay.
288
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,865
Maybe, I love maybe...
289
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,035
I don't know why Ned wants us
290
00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,536
to play "Two Truths and a Lie,"
291
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,371
but he's the boss, so, um...
292
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:28,540
Yeah.
293
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:30,917
Sushi?
294
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:36,048
Where'd you get that sushi?
There's no sushi around here.
295
00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:38,425
Oh, I hate to disagree
with you right off the bat,
296
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,176
but they have it
at the gas station.
297
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,012
Ew.
298
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,639
When'd you get that sushi?
299
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:44,932
You haven't left all day,
300
00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:46,475
and your car was here
when I got in.
301
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:51,063
-Okay, "The Noticer."
-Yeah, that's what they call me.
302
00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:54,441
Cool.
There's a new noticer in town.
303
00:12:58,028 --> 00:13:00,155
All right, um, how about this.
304
00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:01,782
I ask you a question,
305
00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:04,952
you don't wanna answer it,
you, uh, eat a piece of sushi.
306
00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:06,619
It's not that bad, for real.
307
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:09,581
Well, there's your lie.
308
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:11,959
Okay.
309
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:16,380
Okay, so, what kind of couple
should we be?
310
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:22,261
Just a regular couple.
Not regular. Uh, hetero... Cis?
311
00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:23,553
-I don't understand...
-What are you asking?
312
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,847
No, just I mean,
are we bougie, you know?
313
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,308
Or are we cheap?
Are we too online?
314
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:31,228
Are we not online, you know?
Do we have kids?
315
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,313
Do you want kids and I don't,
and it's tearing us?
316
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,232
If this is making you
at all uncomfortable,
317
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,443
we don't have to be
a couple at all, all right?
318
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:42,072
We can just be
brother and sister.
319
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,074
Who are buying
a mattress together?
320
00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:49,329
Our mom gets debilitating
bladder infections.
321
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:50,956
She's... She's incontinent.
322
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:52,541
We have to buy a mattress
for her.
323
00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,167
My God,
we're just a couple, okay?
324
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,044
And keep the mom thing
in your back pocket
325
00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:57,671
if everything goes wrong.
326
00:13:57,754 --> 00:14:00,173
I am so sorry
to hear about your mother.
327
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,383
-Thanks.
-Thank you.
328
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:03,552
It's his mother.
We're actually married.
329
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:04,969
I'm also her boss.
330
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:10,684
At a sleep research facility.
331
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:13,020
But we keep things
very professional, right?
332
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:16,481
We don't use
any of the beds at work for...
333
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:20,527
This would be our home mattress
where we... Where...
334
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:21,945
It'd be our... We're...
335
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,823
So we're actually doing
that whole like,
336
00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:27,075
going around, price comp thing.
337
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,452
-Oh.
-And we were super interested
338
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,371
in your
StayCoolHybrid FirmRest Foam,
339
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,040
-right, honey?
-Yes. Yes. Hm.
340
00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:34,333
Yes, right over here.
341
00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:35,459
Oh. Great. Oh.
342
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,419
Nineteen hundred for a queen.
343
00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:41,381
Great. And now your ad says
that you match any price, right?
344
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,425
That's right. As long
as it's the same mattress.
345
00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:44,843
Totally. That's great.
346
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,011
Because we actually just saw one
347
00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:47,262
over at Twice Upon A Mattress
348
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:48,555
that looks identical
349
00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,390
to the StayCoolHybrid
FirmRest Foam,
350
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:51,975
but it was 1550.
351
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,019
-Would you honor that price?
-Ah.
352
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:55,228
I assure you,
353
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,064
the StayCoolHybrid FirmRest Foam
354
00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:59,149
-is exclusive to our store.
-Ah.
355
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,485
That's too bad,
since I'm a sleep researcher
356
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:04,071
and my wife is the person
who shaves people
357
00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:07,115
-before our experiments...
-A nurse?
358
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,161
It's more specific than that.
359
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:13,956
We could really use
these savings.
360
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,290
I wish I could help.
361
00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:18,752
But the lumbar support,
it definitely will.
362
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:21,129
Heh, do you mind
just checking for us, though?
363
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:25,801
-She's very thorough.
-Yeah. I'm just gonna go, um...
364
00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:26,969
-Thank you.
-Let me see
365
00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:28,136
if I can get my manager.
366
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:29,763
-Thank you.
-That'd be great.
367
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:38,397
Hi.
368
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:41,233
I am incredibly sorry
about my limp.
369
00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:43,568
I hurt my foot last night.
370
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:47,823
At my match.
Darts playoff final.
371
00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:49,324
We won.
372
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:51,493
-I scored the winning double.
-Hm.
373
00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,412
This happened afterwards.
I was mugged.
374
00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,539
Nearly mugged,
for the winnings and trophy.
375
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,041
Ken, I heard you dropped a dart
on your foot?
376
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,501
I did, indeed, sir.
377
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:03,255
This is just our bi-weekly
budget meeting with Marv
378
00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:06,508
in which we have absolutely
nothing unusual planned.
379
00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:09,219
And if I am rubbing
my hands together slightly,
380
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,013
it's because
it's chilly in here.
381
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,389
Everybody here?
382
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,850
Yes, I believe we are all here.
383
00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:17,185
Well, let me double check.
384
00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:20,814
One, two, three, four...
385
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:23,233
Oh, my God, where's Ned?
386
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,861
He was going to be
the fourth person I counted.
387
00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,654
-No Ned.
-Yesterday, he said that
388
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:30,407
his time is too precious
to waste it
389
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,784
with boring, pointless meetings.
390
00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,455
Does Ned think
this is one of those?
391
00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:38,123
Impossible. Surely.
392
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,042
Hm.
393
00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:41,752
Interesting way
to make an impression.
394
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:44,212
-Right?
-Should we just call him?
395
00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:45,672
Oh, no. No, no need.
396
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:48,175
He knows about this meeting,
I left him a note.
397
00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:49,634
-She left him a note.
-Okay.
398
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,388
Oh, MOB-MI-AB.
399
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:56,391
"Marv's Office
Budget Meeting In A Bit."
400
00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:58,477
Yes, classic shorthand.
401
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,021
Ned doesn't have time
to read the whole sentence
402
00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:04,482
while he's flirting all day long
with that U.S. troop.
403
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:11,490
Okay, would you rather be able
to speak to animals
404
00:17:11,573 --> 00:17:12,950
Mm...
405
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:15,410
...speak any human language
ever that you want?
406
00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,287
Speak to animals.
407
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,539
-Yeah.
-No one talks to animals.
408
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:20,749
-Right.
-Um...
409
00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:22,668
-We could talk about your bird?
-Um...
410
00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:24,878
Well, Cardi Beek
was given to me as a gift.
411
00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,756
And then I just...
I just got attached.
412
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,716
Who gives a live bird
as a gift to someone?
413
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,927
So much work, it's like
handing someone a baby.
414
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,387
That's psychotic.
415
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:34,930
It's pretty psychotic, right?
416
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:37,057
Yeah. No, this...
This guy I used to date...
417
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:40,560
Oh, um, what happened? Was the...
The bird the last straw?
418
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:42,520
No, his wife was.
419
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:44,898
Ooh. Um...
420
00:17:46,358 --> 00:17:50,696
Let's... Let's keep going. Um...
What's, um... What's your...?
421
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:53,365
What's your favorite brand
of ketchup?
422
00:17:57,285 --> 00:18:00,080
Where the heck is this guy?
I'm starting to get worked up!
423
00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:03,292
-Don't get worked up, Marv.
-Ann's right.
424
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:05,377
I'm not gonna get worked up.
425
00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:08,546
Let's get him on the phone. Ann!
426
00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:13,260
Yes, Marv?
427
00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:14,761
I think we should start.
428
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:17,431
Ned is so gifted
at delegating to me.
429
00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:18,723
Let's start.
430
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:22,436
-False alarm, Ann.
-Oh, well.
431
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:25,522
It was time for me
to stretch my legs anyway, so...
432
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:27,440
You okay? ANN: Yeah, I'm good.
433
00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:33,530
Right, so first on the docket,
paying for stories.
434
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:37,326
Turns out,
we have to do that, legally.
435
00:18:37,409 --> 00:18:39,620
Otherwise,
we don't own the stories.
436
00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:41,705
-Huh.
-Oh, no, really?
437
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:45,208
I mean, that's going to cost
more money.
438
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,668
That's a big problem.
439
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:50,297
Maybe we could stop doing
original stories
440
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:54,009
and we could go back
to the way it was before Ned.
441
00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:57,054
At least until we figure out
what's going on.
442
00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,472
Hm.
443
00:18:58,555 --> 00:19:00,641
Well, we don't have
444
00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:02,476
unlimited money
to throw around...
445
00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:04,227
We're all in agreement there,
but may...
446
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,980
That's why we should just wait
till Ned gets here
447
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:08,190
to talk about this.
448
00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:10,525
His absence
has done his talking for him.
449
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:12,652
-Don't you agree?
-Don't you?
450
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:18,658
Before we continue, I have to...
451
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,454
use the restroom, please.
452
00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:24,747
Please.
453
00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:27,876
So formal.
454
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:35,092
All right, whatever.
455
00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:36,551
The fix is in.
456
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:39,804
Ned is going to get screwed
by Esmeralda and Ken...
457
00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:42,182
but if I go against them,
458
00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:45,643
Esmeralda will hold it
against me forever.
459
00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:51,942
This one's
actually pretty comfortable.
460
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:54,569
Oh, yeah, the Relaxer Cloud.
That's the one I went with.
461
00:19:54,652 --> 00:19:56,947
You spent $2200?
462
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,116
Jesus, no, that's for the queen.
463
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,076
Mine was like 600 on sale.
464
00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:02,619
-Six hundred?
-Yeah.
465
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,954
-What's that, like a twin?
-Mm-hmm.
466
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:06,830
What?
467
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:09,626
I... Sorry,
I served our country.
468
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,128
I got used to a narrow bed
in the Army.
469
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:15,257
No... Yes. Army. Got it.
470
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:16,717
Army? Come on.
471
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,803
You cannot choose
what kind of bed you wanna buy.
472
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,763
That's just the way
you were born.
473
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:24,600
If buying a twin bed
is what feels right,
474
00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:26,184
then that's what's right.
475
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:29,563
Doesn't make you any less
of a reporter, of anything.
476
00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:32,399
It just means you've got
more space in your bedroom
477
00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:34,818
to buy a desk
to do more reporting.
478
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:38,905
Oh, my God.
I just like being held, okay?
479
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,907
What's the point
of sleeping with someone
480
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:44,202
if you can't even feel them
because the bed is so big?
481
00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:45,662
I mean, a king bed is like,
482
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:48,040
"Okay, goodnight,
see you tomorrow,
483
00:20:48,123 --> 00:20:49,791
hope nothing bad happens to you
in your sleep
484
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:52,502
because
I'd never know about it."
485
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,296
I mean,
Cindy is never coming back.
486
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:56,632
-She's getting her manager.
-Are you kidding?
487
00:20:56,715 --> 00:20:58,216
We've been here like 20 minutes.
488
00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,927
She said she was coming back.
She has to.
489
00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:01,678
Otherwise,
she's leaving herself open
490
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,472
to a bad
customer service review.
491
00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:04,848
She's coming back.
492
00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:07,643
Yeah.
493
00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:11,647
Mm-hmm.
494
00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:13,065
-Oh, you know what?
-Yeah?
495
00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:14,775
Um, this, uh, is my dad.
496
00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:15,984
-Mm-hmm.
-Um...
497
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,028
I'll be right back.
498
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:23,241
Hi, Mr. Willis, how are you?
499
00:21:23,324 --> 00:21:27,120
Yes, no, I am
absolutely interested. Um...
500
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:29,414
Could I just have
until tomorrow morning
501
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:30,623
to get back to you?
502
00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:34,294
Thank you so much,
you have a good day as well.
503
00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:35,545
Okay.
504
00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:39,466
-How is he?
-Um, he's okay.
505
00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:41,551
COVID for like the fourth time.
506
00:21:45,764 --> 00:21:46,890
Cindy?
507
00:21:49,726 --> 00:21:51,770
-Cindy?
-She's not coming back...
508
00:21:51,853 --> 00:21:53,021
-Cindy!
-...Ned.
509
00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:56,400
I mean, I don't think
she's coming back.
510
00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:58,443
This is unreal.
511
00:21:59,861 --> 00:22:01,488
What?
512
00:22:01,571 --> 00:22:02,697
Hey, look at this.
513
00:22:04,115 --> 00:22:07,286
Dayton Bold Manufacturers.
It's a mattress supplier.
514
00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:08,870
You have that in there?
515
00:22:09,704 --> 00:22:11,415
-Yes.
-Direct number.
516
00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:14,710
They've got a mattress store
caller ID. Should we?
517
00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:17,713
-I don't know. Should we?
-I think... I think we should.
518
00:22:17,796 --> 00:22:20,048
-Okay.
-I think I am.
519
00:22:20,131 --> 00:22:21,216
-Oh, my God, okay.
-I think I am.
520
00:22:21,299 --> 00:22:22,467
I think I'm doing it right now.
521
00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:24,219
-Well, let me...
-Go.
522
00:22:24,302 --> 00:22:25,804
Of course
she'd come back right now.
523
00:22:25,887 --> 00:22:27,055
Yeah, you're good.
524
00:22:28,223 --> 00:22:31,226
Hi, no, it's not Cindy,
she's in the back.
525
00:22:31,309 --> 00:22:33,854
This is Ned, calling
from her desk with a question.
526
00:22:33,937 --> 00:22:35,397
I hope you can help me.
527
00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:38,525
Great, yes. Could you crosscheck
528
00:22:38,608 --> 00:22:40,777
the different mattress names
that you have on file
529
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,904
against a model number
that I have here?
530
00:22:42,987 --> 00:22:44,656
Fantastic, thank you very much.
531
00:22:44,739 --> 00:22:49,160
-It's AP 182928.
-Ask for all of them.
532
00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:52,831
Thank you, Amanda.
Yes, I've got a pen.
533
00:22:52,914 --> 00:22:55,333
Yeah, if you could give me
the different names.
534
00:22:56,418 --> 00:22:57,920
Uh-huh, and what else?
535
00:22:58,003 --> 00:23:00,047
Oh, my God, Amanda,
that's ing great.
536
00:23:00,130 --> 00:23:01,965
Sorry, excuse my language.
537
00:23:03,008 --> 00:23:04,300
Thank you so much.
538
00:23:07,137 --> 00:23:08,680
Wow, ha-ha!
539
00:23:08,763 --> 00:23:10,891
-So we all agree, right?
-Yes.
540
00:23:10,974 --> 00:23:12,851
This is the end
of the experiment.
541
00:23:12,934 --> 00:23:17,105
Bring back wire stories,
save money. Easy math.
542
00:23:17,188 --> 00:23:20,359
I would talk to Ned before
we pull the plug on originals,
543
00:23:20,442 --> 00:23:21,985
but he's AWOL.
544
00:23:22,068 --> 00:23:23,236
Mmm. Mm-mm.
545
00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:24,863
No other cuts in the budget?
546
00:23:24,946 --> 00:23:28,742
No, sir. It is air-tight.
Like a puppy in a purse.
547
00:23:31,786 --> 00:23:34,748
Okay. I did find one thing.
548
00:23:34,831 --> 00:23:37,542
There's a line item
for a storage unit
549
00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:41,630
that, apparently, we've
been renting for nine years.
550
00:23:41,713 --> 00:23:43,923
Turns out,
it's an apartment unit.
551
00:23:45,008 --> 00:23:47,010
This is actually
a very funny mistake.
552
00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:49,346
Um, so what it was,
was Enervate,
553
00:23:49,429 --> 00:23:50,639
if I recall correctly,
554
00:23:50,722 --> 00:23:53,767
rented me a very small,
furnished apartment
555
00:23:53,850 --> 00:23:55,227
for a couple of weeks
556
00:23:55,310 --> 00:23:56,812
when I first moved over
from Saint Alban's,
557
00:23:56,895 --> 00:23:59,106
and that somehow, God knows how,
558
00:23:59,189 --> 00:24:01,483
got filed as a warehouse.
559
00:24:03,443 --> 00:24:07,072
Oh, my God, can you even imagine
if my stuff is still in there?
560
00:24:09,074 --> 00:24:12,077
-No.
-Huh, that's odd.
561
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,038
What's this? No. No, no.
562
00:24:15,997 --> 00:24:17,249
I mean, that's just...
563
00:24:17,332 --> 00:24:18,792
I think the simplest thing to do
564
00:24:18,875 --> 00:24:19,960
would be to get rid of that,
565
00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:22,087
um... just in terms of
566
00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:24,131
we don't wanna throw
good money after bad
567
00:24:24,214 --> 00:24:27,134
by looking into it
and hiring an investigator,
568
00:24:27,217 --> 00:24:28,635
-or-or that sort of stuff.
-Okay.
569
00:24:28,718 --> 00:24:31,430
So maybe we just put the money
back into the newspaper.
570
00:24:31,513 --> 00:24:32,806
Yay, journalism wins.
571
00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:34,433
-Hm, good!
-Good!
572
00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:36,852
-Glad we figured that out.
-I'm glad we figured that out.
573
00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:38,562
I'm glad we figured it out.
574
00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:42,316
Wow, ha, ha! You're such
a little whiz kid.
575
00:24:42,399 --> 00:24:45,402
Ha! Whiz kid.
I'm 55, but thank you.
576
00:24:45,485 --> 00:24:47,029
So little whiz guy.
577
00:24:47,112 --> 00:24:51,450
Okay, fine. I'm 59. You got me.
578
00:24:58,373 --> 00:25:01,585
Wow, okay, y'all are still here.
579
00:25:01,668 --> 00:25:02,961
Don't you people have jobs?
580
00:25:03,044 --> 00:25:04,421
We should probably say
581
00:25:04,504 --> 00:25:06,173
that we are reporters
from The Truth Teller
582
00:25:06,256 --> 00:25:08,550
doing a story
on consumer protection.
583
00:25:09,718 --> 00:25:11,261
I knew your mother wasn't sick.
584
00:25:11,344 --> 00:25:13,180
We confirmed
with the manufacturer
585
00:25:13,263 --> 00:25:15,641
that your StayCoolHybrid
FirmRest Foam is, in fact,
586
00:25:15,724 --> 00:25:18,477
the same exact model as the one
at Twice Upon A Mattress.
587
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,146
Also, My Sleep Mattress,
Hammock Matters,
588
00:25:21,229 --> 00:25:23,440
Got Your Back Mattress,
Perfect Sleep Mattress,
589
00:25:23,523 --> 00:25:25,692
-Cloud Evolution.
-Pillow Mattress.
590
00:25:25,775 --> 00:25:28,278
Which should qualify them
for the price match guarantee.
591
00:25:28,361 --> 00:25:32,157
-They're the same bed.
-Okay. All right. So what?
592
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:33,617
There's no proof.
593
00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:35,744
Other than some scribbles
on a piece of paper.
594
00:25:35,827 --> 00:25:37,203
If you wanna just...
595
00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:42,125
-And right over. It's Mandy.
-Oh, yeah, Mandy.
596
00:25:43,585 --> 00:25:47,172
Boo-ya! Shame on your ass!
597
00:25:47,255 --> 00:25:49,299
-All right.
-Oh, no.
598
00:25:49,382 --> 00:25:53,053
-I, um, actually hate this job.
-Oh.
599
00:25:53,928 --> 00:25:55,472
I hate this stupid polo
600
00:25:55,555 --> 00:25:57,307
that they make you
pay for yourself.
601
00:25:58,350 --> 00:26:00,519
I was too scared
to be a geologist,
602
00:26:00,602 --> 00:26:02,187
and now it's too late.
603
00:26:02,270 --> 00:26:04,647
So get your notepads out.
604
00:26:05,607 --> 00:26:07,067
Let's burn it all down.
605
00:26:08,568 --> 00:26:10,529
Let's get some water.
And then we can get into it.
606
00:26:10,612 --> 00:26:11,613
-Yeah.
-I'll help.
607
00:26:11,696 --> 00:26:13,156
-Get some water?
-I'm gonna write it too.
608
00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:15,158
-We're all good. Well...
-I'll write it.
609
00:26:27,337 --> 00:26:28,337
Hey.
610
00:26:29,339 --> 00:26:31,842
I actually have
a lot of work to do.
611
00:26:31,925 --> 00:26:33,468
It'll just take a second.
612
00:26:33,551 --> 00:26:37,139
Um, so it was hard to crack,
but I think I figured it out.
613
00:26:37,222 --> 00:26:41,351
So, your two truths are,
you do hate camping
614
00:26:41,434 --> 00:26:44,187
and you are allergic to pecans.
615
00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:47,649
And the lie was, um,
you dated a married guy.
616
00:26:52,153 --> 00:26:55,031
Yep. You nailed it.
617
00:26:56,074 --> 00:26:58,493
There we go. Um, thanks again.
618
00:27:15,427 --> 00:27:19,014
"How do you sleep at night?"
619
00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:23,018
-That's great.
-It is, isn't it?
620
00:27:23,101 --> 00:27:24,853
-It's great.
-I thought it was.
621
00:27:24,936 --> 00:27:26,021
Yep.
622
00:27:26,104 --> 00:27:28,023
God, I just hope
Cindy finds peace.
623
00:27:31,735 --> 00:27:33,695
Listen,
I have to be honest with you.
624
00:27:35,363 --> 00:27:38,617
I was perhaps
a little overexuberant
625
00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:42,079
earlier on
with my 95 percent assessment
626
00:27:42,162 --> 00:27:44,748
of the paper's chance
of success.
627
00:27:45,665 --> 00:27:47,084
Oh.
628
00:27:47,167 --> 00:27:49,461
The industry is in shambles.
629
00:27:49,544 --> 00:27:52,631
People hate reporters right now.
630
00:27:52,714 --> 00:27:53,966
I mean, our staff...
631
00:27:54,049 --> 00:27:57,678
-Sucks.
-No, but it is what it is.
632
00:27:57,761 --> 00:28:01,473
-A 95 percent was optimistic.
-Sure.
633
00:28:02,891 --> 00:28:04,726
It's probably closer to 85.
634
00:28:09,397 --> 00:28:10,816
Okay.
635
00:28:10,899 --> 00:28:13,819
"Nothing great was ever achieved
without enthusiasm."
636
00:28:13,902 --> 00:28:16,530
According to a poster
in my middle school hallway...
637
00:28:16,613 --> 00:28:17,864
-Ah.
-...so.
638
00:28:17,947 --> 00:28:20,367
Mine said, "Break dancing
will result in expulsion."
639
00:28:20,450 --> 00:28:21,785
-Sure.
-So.
640
00:28:21,868 --> 00:28:24,329
I don't know. I'm young.
641
00:28:24,412 --> 00:28:27,332
The hospitality world
will always be there.
642
00:28:27,415 --> 00:28:28,667
I'll see you tomorrow?
643
00:28:30,043 --> 00:28:31,169
Yeah.
644
00:28:32,295 --> 00:28:35,090
-Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.
-Cool.
645
00:28:38,009 --> 00:28:39,469
All right, buddy.
646
00:28:40,387 --> 00:28:41,638
Yeah, night, dude.
647
00:28:42,889 --> 00:28:46,351
Also, who could break up
"Buddy and The Dude"?
648
00:28:47,602 --> 00:28:49,605
Yeah. I'm feeling good.
649
00:28:49,688 --> 00:28:53,525
Another one down.
We did good journalism.
650
00:28:53,608 --> 00:28:54,608
And...
651
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,112
there's a budget meeting?
652
00:28:58,279 --> 00:29:00,157
Shit. Uh...
653
00:29:07,288 --> 00:29:09,290
Shame on them.
654
00:29:10,583 --> 00:29:13,086
-Ann!
-Right here, Marv.
655
00:29:13,169 --> 00:29:14,838
Don't fire Ned!
656
00:29:16,256 --> 00:29:18,258
You nev... You never told me
to fire Ned.
657
00:29:18,341 --> 00:29:20,468
I would've written it
in my book.
658
00:29:21,636 --> 00:29:24,472
Then who'd...? Who did we fire?
659
00:29:25,932 --> 00:29:27,183
Nobody?
660
00:29:28,768 --> 00:29:29,768
Good.
47939
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