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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,793 Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration. 2 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,254 What can I do you for? 3 00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:49,675 Dunder Mifflin? Yeah, they've been gone for a while. 4 00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:53,387 Phyll and Stanley keep in touch. We both have Schnoodles. 5 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:56,890 Awesome dogs. Other than that... 6 00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:59,017 the "One and Done" guys are fine. 7 00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:02,187 Less drama, that's for sure. 8 00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:04,648 There used to be a paper company here? 9 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,566 I didn't know that. 10 00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:08,360 I just moved last month from Alaska, 11 00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:10,779 because my sister went missing. 12 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:15,409 Don't worry, they found her. Living under her own damn house. 13 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,661 So, if you go to the Chamber of Commerce, 14 00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:19,788 They keep a list of every business 15 00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:23,208 that's closed in the last 10 years. 16 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:26,712 Ha! There it is. Dunder Mifflin. 17 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:33,760 It says, purchased by Enervate in Toledo, Ohio, in 2019. 18 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:34,761 That's right. 19 00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:36,054 I remember them asking 20 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,473 if Phyllis wanted to move to Toledo. 21 00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:41,727 Ha! Leave Scranton for Toledo? 22 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,478 Make me laugh. 23 00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:58,118 Enervate sells products made out of paper. 24 00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:00,078 So that might be office supplies. 25 00:02:00,161 --> 00:02:01,705 That might be janitorial paper, 26 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:06,835 which is toilet tissue, toilet seat protectors, 27 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,420 and local newspapers. 28 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,922 And that is in order of quality. 29 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,927 We are on the eighth floor, 30 00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:18,972 home of our corporate offices, including strategy. 31 00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:20,098 You're looking at him. 32 00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:21,308 And this is a treat, 33 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:22,976 our commander in chief, Marv Putnam. 34 00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,186 Not now, Ken. 35 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,312 Not now, Ken! You heard the man. 36 00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:28,690 Come on, toilet time. 37 00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:31,151 This is the ninth floor, 38 00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:34,780 home of Softees, "T.P.H.Q." Here we go. 39 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,658 Hello, hello to my toilet kings! 40 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:42,996 And of course, my toilet queen, on her toilet throne! 41 00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:46,833 Now then, a lot of young lads say their first crush 42 00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:48,627 was the old Softees logo. 43 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,337 Not this one, I hasten to add. 44 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:54,091 Obviously... amazing. 45 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,342 Scrunchie? 46 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,928 No harm in it. Now then, the gong. 47 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,055 The gong, the gong, the gong! 48 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:03,308 We hit the gong when we make a sale. 49 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:06,520 Music to my ears. 50 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:10,107 And here we are, the Toledo Truth Teller, 51 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,733 the local newspaper. 52 00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:13,819 Mm. Okay. 53 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:17,364 This whole building is the old Truth Teller Tower. 54 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,157 Can you believe they used to employ 55 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,368 over a thousand people? 56 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:24,996 That's absolutely insane, if I do say so myself. 57 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,087 The ninth floor is a hundred men 58 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,672 covering Ohio politics. 59 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:36,091 We have 300 more outside the building 60 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:37,676 in Washington, New York, 61 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:40,012 and we have foreign bureaus all over the world. 62 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:43,890 Is it expensive? You can bet what you're sitting on it is. 63 00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:46,726 We only keep democracy alive, is all. 64 00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:49,312 Is it worth it? 65 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,816 Well, ask the Cincinnati City Council. 66 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:56,445 A third of them indicted on bribery charges today, 67 00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,029 thanks to our reporting! 68 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:03,160 I am the compositor. 69 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,661 You wanna see how this works? 70 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:09,750 Um, okay. So, this is tomorrow's front page. 71 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,878 Um, we have an account that lets us pull stories 72 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,546 directly off the AP. 73 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,548 So, if I see a story 74 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,258 that's within our subscription tier, 75 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,969 "Elizabeth Olsen Reveals Her Nighttime Skin Routine," 76 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:24,723 I just drag it over to one of the empty boxes 77 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,474 and drop it in. 78 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,062 Oh. Um, okay. 79 00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:31,563 So, that actually means that 80 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,315 the article's too big for the box. 81 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:36,193 I would've thought it was too short. 82 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,612 And my computer's frozen. 83 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,601 And when we need accurate local reporting 84 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:12,271 for high school sports, we have Barry. 85 00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:15,106 He's our one intrepid reporter. 86 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:19,861 Of course it's not as simple as Mare makes it sound. 87 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:23,198 Mare is... simple. 88 00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:26,118 You gotta have an antenna for the right story, 89 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:28,954 and that takes a nose for news. 90 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:31,790 For which ones are the most important. 91 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:41,840 What? 92 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,303 Can I leave these on just a bit, 93 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,804 because the shape is better, 94 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,140 just for few seconds while we get ready. 95 00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,850 I should look inside here? 96 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:52,519 Inside here? Or should I look at you? 97 00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:55,731 Where should I look? Here? You? Here? You? 98 00:05:55,814 --> 00:06:01,445 My name is Esmeralda Grand, uh, Managing Editor. 99 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,823 Um, I am also in charge of TTT Online, 100 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:08,368 which is way more important, and fun, 101 00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:11,288 and sexy than the print version. 102 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,498 The print version really only exists for people 103 00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:16,001 to have something to frame when they are mentioned, 104 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,754 which we try to do as much as possible. 105 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:23,508 At TTT Online, we have no space or length limitations. 106 00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:27,346 This is classic long form journalism. 107 00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:31,808 Here is one of my articles I'm particularly proud of. 108 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:34,019 Uh, I don't know if you can see it. 109 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,856 So you start reading it, 110 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:40,901 yes, and you get very curious. 111 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,902 I'm scrolling. 112 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:44,863 You go "next." 113 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:48,533 Oops! I hit an ad. And I click here. 114 00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:50,077 And I'm scrolling. 115 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,956 And I'm learning a lot about the history of tipping, 116 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,540 like, the first tip. 117 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:58,669 What was that? Maybe a piece of cheese? 118 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:02,506 And then you keep learning about colors of cars. 119 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,424 There are so many colors. 120 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,218 But it's not a waste of time, 121 00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:07,928 because when you get to the end, 122 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:11,473 and you find out that the tips was $300? 123 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:14,851 Wow! I mean, that's a lot! 124 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,020 I actually wrote for Stars and Stripes, 125 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,480 the military newspaper. 126 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:21,817 I was an M1 Armored Vehicle Crew Member in the Army. 127 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:25,070 Esmeralda has some media experience 128 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:27,948 as a contestant on a dating reality show, 129 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:30,200 called Married at First Sight. 130 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:32,577 Let me introduce you 131 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:36,206 to one of my most trusted underlings 132 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,417 at TTT Online. 133 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:39,668 Nicole! 134 00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,795 Nicole! 135 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:45,132 Hi. Yeah. I actually don't want to do this. 136 00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,300 Please. Keep rolling. 137 00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:47,509 I'll get her sign your release, 138 00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:48,802 don't worry. Keep rolling. 139 00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:50,929 Come on, Nicole, look at the camera! Look! 140 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:53,765 You are so pretty. Oh, my gosh. You are so pretty. 141 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,601 I hadn't noticed how pretty you are. 142 00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:57,436 The camera loves you, old lady. 143 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:58,729 The camera loves you! 144 00:07:58,812 --> 00:07:59,896 -Okay. -Mm! 145 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,398 My name's Nicole Lee. 146 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:06,778 I'm in "circulation." So I keep track of subscribers. 147 00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:09,531 I also have some additional duties 148 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,658 for the online newspaper. 149 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:15,370 Some companies today, I'm not saying us, 150 00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:18,790 they generate revenue by collecting information 151 00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,834 from people who visit their sites. 152 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:24,004 And if any of the users accepts any cookies, 153 00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:27,007 their browsing history can be scraped up. 154 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,801 You could say that we get more information 155 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:32,804 from the readers than they get from us. 156 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,807 How you doing, my name is Detrick Moore. 157 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,643 I sell ads for the paper, 158 00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:39,519 which means I'm not supposed to interact with 159 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:40,729 anybody in news. 160 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:43,607 Uh, Ken calls it the Chinese wall, 161 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:44,900 which I thought was wrong, 162 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,777 but I guess it's an actual news term. 163 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,153 When you're in sales like me, 164 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,113 you have to be sort of a psychologist. 165 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,949 And so whenever I see people down, 166 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,742 I just... I try my best to cheer them up, you know? 167 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,160 It doesn't matter to me 168 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:56,995 if it's against the rules or not. 169 00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,206 And I don't have any favorites. 170 00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:05,754 Detrick thinks I'm sad all the time 171 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:08,090 but actually, a lot of the times 172 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:12,844 I'm just tired of pretending he cheered me up the last time. 173 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:15,264 You are going to get tired 174 00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:19,184 chasing my busy little body around with that camera! 175 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,690 Also, I'm a single mom, 176 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:28,151 so there's lots going on in my life. 177 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:31,613 Anyway, here are two accountants and the head accountant. 178 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:36,201 Boring, boring and head boring. 179 00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:39,246 God, not again. 180 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,248 I'm not agreeing to any of this. 181 00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:43,584 Don't you guys have enough after nine years? 182 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,002 Nobody wants this! 183 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,545 You know what, you can't use my voice, 184 00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:48,797 my likeness, my face, nothing. 185 00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,641 Ooh! 186 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,185 Hmm. 187 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,732 The word jumble is kind of a head-scratcher today. 188 00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:08,859 We don't have a word jumble anymore, Barry. 189 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,402 Hmm? 190 00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:20,370 AI will never replace me. 191 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:25,166 I need some air. 192 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,340 My name is Ned Sampson. 193 00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:36,720 I am signing the visitors log, even though I am not a visitor. 194 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:40,182 This is my first day working at the Truth Teller. 195 00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:41,892 I'm so excited to be saying that. 196 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,686 When I was a kid, I didn't wanna be Superman. 197 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,939 I wanted to be Clark Kent. 198 00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:49,441 'Cause to me, Clark is the real superhero. 199 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:53,779 He's saving the world too by working at a newspaper. 200 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,614 And that to me is much more noble, 201 00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,783 and much more achievable. 202 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,242 And I love that. 203 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,620 And so, that's why I'm so happy to be finally here 204 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:05,415 at my very own Daily Bugle or no, Daily Planet! 205 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:08,460 It's the Daily Planet. Daily Bugleis Spider-Man. 206 00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,796 They're both journalists. That's kinda cool. 207 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,506 All right, I'm gonna... Sorry. 208 00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:13,840 I'm going to, uh, run up 209 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,425 'cause I don't wanna be late for my first day 210 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,719 and make a bad impression. Up, up and away! 211 00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:21,223 I have a lot in common with Superman too. 212 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,308 We each have our kryptonite, for example. 213 00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:26,603 For Superman, it's, well, kryptonite, obviously. 214 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,814 For Clark Kent, it's Lois Lane. 215 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:30,983 And for me, I guess my kryptonite 216 00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,526 is my love of journalism. 217 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:35,195 From fact checking to developing sources 218 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:38,949 over whiskey in a smoky bar, that's my weakness. 219 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,660 Also, romanticizing things, I'm told. 220 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:56,423 Oscar! 221 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,515 Oh, man. 222 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:05,058 Oh, this is so cool. 223 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,560 Oh, boy. 224 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,904 -Got him. -Good job. 225 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,031 Hey, I'm Ned. 226 00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:25,245 The door seems to be locked. 227 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:27,873 -Yeah, because I locked it. -She locked it. 228 00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:29,875 I'm Ned Sampson, I start here today. 229 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,293 You can... You can let me out. 230 00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:33,962 Uh, we had a security breach, month ago. 231 00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,422 Can't be too sure. 232 00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:38,216 A guy on acid wandered in from a jazz festival. 233 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,843 Okay. Well, that wasn't me. 234 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,720 -Another one of those acid guys? -Yep. 235 00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:42,930 Damn, it must be the soft lighting. 236 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,264 Sir, you look very trusting. 237 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:47,392 You can trust me. I promise. Let me out. 238 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,811 Thank you, but I'm going to stay out of it. 239 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:50,812 Best of luck. 240 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,147 Okay. Thanks, hey, come on. 241 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,149 Hey, hey, hey. We do not have door money! 242 00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:56,068 This is just a misunderstanding, okay? I just... 243 00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:57,819 I start work at the paper. 244 00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,656 -Which paper, news or toilet? -News! 245 00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:03,116 Why would I say the paper about toilet paper? 246 00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,826 We don't know you, sir. How should we know 247 00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,411 why you say the things you say? 248 00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,330 I've got a meeting at 2:00, all right? I'm just early. 249 00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:10,999 -That's all this is. Come on. -Okay. Who's the meeting with? 250 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:15,170 Just briefly, I'm forgetting the name. 251 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,047 -Of course. -No, no. Wait, wait, wait. 252 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,257 It's something unique. 253 00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:21,301 Is... Is there a Fantine that works here? 254 00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:23,887 Heh, you'll find her in Les Mis. 255 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,431 All right. Okay, okay. 256 00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:28,600 Hey, hey. Chill. 257 00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:29,851 Come on! 258 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,436 Looks like y'all caught a live one! 259 00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:34,064 Please! I'm genuinely claustrophobic. 260 00:13:36,775 --> 00:13:38,652 I do get claustrophobic. I got stuck in my neighbor's chimney 261 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,487 playing Christmas when I was a kid. 262 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,447 I was imagining what it was like to be Santa Claus. Let me out. 263 00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:45,242 Are you being serious? Because I'm actually claustrophobic. 264 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,827 And if you're pretending, 265 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:48,036 that would be very disrespectful 266 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:50,998 to the claustrophobic community. 267 00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:52,541 All right, I'm not claustrophobic. 268 00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,751 But I get a little nervous in airplane bathrooms, 269 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:55,836 if that counts? 270 00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:57,629 -That's the truth. -Yeah. 271 00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,423 Esmeralda! It's Esmeralda! 272 00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,550 That's... That's the name of the person, right? 273 00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:02,759 -Oh. -That's... 274 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,553 -Okay, fine. -Wait, he gets one name right, 275 00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,263 and you guys let your guards down? 276 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,765 -You? -Are you Esmeralda? 277 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,267 No, I'm the woman you hit. 278 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,351 What? What? 279 00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:13,604 -No, I... -Calm down, everybody. 280 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,689 No, he just knocked my salad to the ground. 281 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,025 Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know I did that. 282 00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:19,484 You guys can let him out. 283 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,153 -Are you sure? -Yes. 284 00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:23,363 I saw him downstairs talking to the crew, he's real. 285 00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:25,573 -Thank you. -All right, all right. 286 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:33,123 -Adelola, nice to meet you. -It's nice to meet you too. 287 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,292 -Adam. Sorry about that. -Not at all. 288 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,252 -Hello. -Nice to meet you. 289 00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:38,921 -Trav, buddy. -Hey, how are you? 290 00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:41,298 -Nice to meet you, man. -There he is. 291 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,381 Yeah. 292 00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:47,220 -Travis... -Check back in here. 293 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,640 I think he's clean. 294 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:52,142 Nice to meet you, brother. Welcome to the floor. 295 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,560 Thank you very much. 296 00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:59,566 Nobody told me they were adding somebody. 297 00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,485 Unless I'm being fired from the paper. 298 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,195 Am I being fired? -No, no. 299 00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:04,655 -They're adding me. -Okay. 300 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:06,490 I didn't expect to get locked in on my first day. 301 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,826 -Do you want a glass of water? -Thank you so much. Um... 302 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,329 -You okay? You wanna sit? -Do you know someplace 303 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,122 that I could get something to eat? 304 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:16,207 -Uh... -I owe you a salad, anyway. 305 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,335 -Sure. -All right. 306 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,711 One... One second. 307 00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:29,429 Then I went to OU. 308 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,390 Studied journalism, was on a school paper. 309 00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:35,435 By my last year, I was editor. And... I loved it. 310 00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,104 So you've been working in the news since? 311 00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:40,274 No, after spending four years getting my journalism degree, 312 00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:41,692 my father pointed out that the industry 313 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,944 was collapsing, like an old smoker's lung. 314 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,445 Oh, no! 315 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:49,074 So, I got scared and I went to work at his company 316 00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,242 selling cardboard. 317 00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,952 Glossy cardboard. High end. 318 00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:52,995 Gift box with a lid. 319 00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:54,621 I could really sell cardboard. 320 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:55,704 Really. 321 00:15:56,998 --> 00:16:01,712 -What's going on over here? -Oh, um... won't eat. 322 00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:04,673 And then I'll do things that are better by themselves. 323 00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:05,756 Okay. 324 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:07,926 Dude, I didn't tell you this. 325 00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:09,094 We were racing to make the game, 326 00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:10,304 and then all of a sudden, 327 00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:12,389 a freaking deer jumped out at us. 328 00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:14,850 Did you brake in time? 329 00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:16,351 You don't brake for deer, man. 330 00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:19,062 -You do not brake for deer. -Don't brake for deer. 331 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,814 What does a car do when you brake? 332 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,067 It attracts deer. 333 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:27,237 No. You brake, your car tilts down. 334 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,449 And boom, the deer will go through the windshield. 335 00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,993 And if that's a buck, a male deer? 336 00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,369 That's an antler to the face, 337 00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:37,247 aka instant death, in my experience. 338 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,332 No, thank you, man. 339 00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:40,918 Pfft. 340 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,128 Hell, no. OSCAR: Okay. 341 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:45,338 So, what happened after cardboard? 342 00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:49,092 I don't really wanna talk about it. It's kinda private. 343 00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,969 Oh, I'm sorry. 344 00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:52,429 I was home for Thanksgiving. 345 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:53,764 My mom basically announces 346 00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:56,224 that my father has been cheating on her 347 00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:58,268 and having this 20-year affair 348 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,103 with a woman who lives on their street. 349 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,313 -Shut up. -Mm-hmm. 350 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:02,606 -Mrs. Schweppe. -Oh, my God. 351 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,274 -She taught me piano. -No! 352 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,194 Yeah. And I lost it. I was screaming at him. 353 00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:09,571 "You're a bad man. I will not work for you. 354 00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:10,989 I hate everything about you!" 355 00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:14,117 And so I wouldn't go back to cardboard after that. 356 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,577 And luckily, my dad felt guilty, 357 00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:16,995 -which he should. -Yeah. 358 00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:19,414 And he knew someone on the board of Enervate, 359 00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,500 so he kinda got the ball rolling on that. 360 00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:23,210 And I went out to Softees in Chicago, 361 00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:24,544 worked there for two years, 362 00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,296 broke every record selling toilet paper. 363 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:29,549 And they said, what do you wanna do next? 364 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,386 -I picked here. -Geez. 365 00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:35,639 That's really inspiring for a story 366 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,474 with that much nepotism in it. 367 00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:43,563 Adam is 32. He has four kids. 368 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:46,358 His wife makes them the same lunch every day. 369 00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:47,985 I mean, like, all of them, you know, 370 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,320 and just sort of marches them off to work. 371 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,822 And he just gets whatever leftovers 372 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,323 the kids don't want. 373 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,284 I think he was hired under some initiative 374 00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:57,077 that gives jobs to poor, religious people 375 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,578 with no skills. 376 00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:01,873 Honestly, I can't imagine how he keeps going. 377 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:05,627 I think Adelola's a very emotional person. 378 00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:08,588 I catch her looking at me with tears in her eyes. 379 00:18:09,673 --> 00:18:11,466 So how do you like working here? 380 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:13,843 -It's fine. -Mm-hmm. 381 00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:17,347 What does that mean? 382 00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:21,560 I don't know. 383 00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:23,186 Have you... Have you read this paper? 384 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,771 -Uh-huh. -Okay. 385 00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:29,651 And how do you think it compares to any other paper? 386 00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:33,697 -It sucks. -Oh. 387 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,198 -Correct. -It compares badly 388 00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:36,575 to any other printed material. 389 00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:38,118 Great. Cool. 390 00:18:38,201 --> 00:18:40,871 But we are going to make it better. 391 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,539 I'm sorry. I... 392 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,417 I don't even know if it's a real paper. 393 00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,711 I mean, it's some local ads and clickbait 394 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,880 with like, four APstories 395 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,881 and high school sports scores on the cover. 396 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:54,760 It's something to start with. 397 00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:56,261 Sure. Why don't we talk 398 00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:57,596 after you meet your new boss, though. 399 00:18:57,679 --> 00:19:00,849 -I met Marv, he's great. -No, Esmeralda. 400 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:06,813 Isn't she the interim managing editor? 401 00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:08,106 Yep. 402 00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:10,775 Right. They hired me to be the editor-in-chief. 403 00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:14,320 Above Esmeralda? 404 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:15,988 Yeah. 405 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:23,455 Ah, Ned! 406 00:19:23,538 --> 00:19:25,082 -It's nice to meet you. -It's very nice to meet you. 407 00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:26,833 I know you've been supervising things for a while. 408 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,585 So I hope it's not too disruptive 409 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,754 to have me come in and sort of shake everything up. 410 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,924 Oh, no, no. Don't be so self-defecating. 411 00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:37,052 No, come on. I can't wait to hear your ideas. 412 00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:38,553 -All right, shall we? -Yes. 413 00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,013 After you. Ladies first. 414 00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,473 Thank you. 415 00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,059 Sure. Okay. 416 00:19:44,142 --> 00:19:46,228 I don't expect it to happen overnight, 417 00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:48,230 but I will need a full staff. 418 00:19:48,313 --> 00:19:49,731 Multiple local beats... 419 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:52,901 -Okay. Mm-hmm. -...with dedicated reporters. 420 00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:55,946 Okay? A city beat for daily stories. 421 00:19:56,029 --> 00:20:00,742 -We need a sports beat with... -Yes, hello, 911? 422 00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,745 Yes, my budget is having a coronary. 423 00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:06,707 911, what's the address... 424 00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:08,083 -I've called them. -...of your emergency? 425 00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:09,585 -I've called them. -Is someone there...? 426 00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:13,880 And would all of these be, um, paid positions? 427 00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:16,925 Yes, but they would make the paper worth reading again. 428 00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:19,428 -Can we do that? -No. No, no. 429 00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:21,597 Sorry, because the news is a bit poor. 430 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,598 But probably you didn't know. 431 00:20:24,516 --> 00:20:26,059 Obviously, I did know that. 432 00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:28,937 We can free up some funds by cutting some other things. 433 00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:30,689 -Um... -Keep talking. 434 00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:31,982 I'm cutting the wire services, 435 00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,651 people can get that news anywhere for free. 436 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:35,902 And I would like to cut 437 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:38,113 all the garbage clickbait nonsense 438 00:20:38,196 --> 00:20:39,197 on the website. 439 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,282 It's bad for people. 440 00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:41,658 -It's bad for the paper. -Mm-hmm. 441 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,035 We go back to basics. 442 00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:45,787 Local focus, objective, fact-based reporting. 443 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,122 This could be very exciting. 444 00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:50,459 I have something that I would like to say. 445 00:20:50,542 --> 00:20:52,085 Great. 446 00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:57,257 Enervate is in good health, largely because of Softees. 447 00:20:57,340 --> 00:21:03,555 Enervate is Tom Brady, very healthy, very rich. 448 00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:05,724 -The Truth Teller... -Mm-hmm? 449 00:21:05,807 --> 00:21:09,061 Is a sick mouse hiding behind Tom Brady's fridge. 450 00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:14,065 Now, Tom Brady, he likes mice. But this mouse is fucked. 451 00:21:22,991 --> 00:21:26,328 Okay. I, uh, appreciate your honesty. 452 00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:30,916 It sounds like a big challenge. But luckily, I love challenges. 453 00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:32,918 That's why I'm so good at Lent. 454 00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:34,461 Oh, wow. 455 00:21:34,544 --> 00:21:36,672 -Hey, uh, Ned? -Yes? 456 00:21:36,755 --> 00:21:39,215 I just want to say, I got your back. 457 00:21:40,175 --> 00:21:42,010 Finally, thank you. 458 00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:44,179 -I've been there. -You've... 459 00:21:46,681 --> 00:21:48,976 -He's been there. -Yeah. 460 00:21:49,059 --> 00:21:52,354 -Who is that? -He works in envelopes. 461 00:21:52,437 --> 00:21:53,689 Huh. 462 00:21:53,772 --> 00:21:55,649 Actually I didn't think he worked here anymore. 463 00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:57,776 Uh, look, I mean, I think we should schedule 464 00:21:57,859 --> 00:22:00,320 a meeting with Marv and just look at the budget 465 00:22:00,403 --> 00:22:01,821 with a very... 466 00:22:07,285 --> 00:22:10,872 With Marv? Why are we scheduling a meeting with Marv? 467 00:22:10,955 --> 00:22:12,207 Well, because I think we have 468 00:22:12,290 --> 00:22:13,750 a fundamental difference of opinion 469 00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:15,960 about what the paper is capable of. 470 00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:20,591 Can you excuse me for just a second? 471 00:22:20,674 --> 00:22:22,050 -Of course! -A comfort break. 472 00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:23,968 -Yes. -By all means. 473 00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:27,764 -I'm sorry. -What is it? 474 00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:29,725 -Were the lights... -The paper? 475 00:22:29,808 --> 00:22:31,184 Yeah. 476 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:32,144 That is for the light... 477 00:22:32,227 --> 00:22:34,271 -Hey, can we talk? -Of course. 478 00:22:34,354 --> 00:22:35,397 -No. -No? 479 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:36,648 No, her. 480 00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:40,318 Did you send an email to everyone here... 481 00:22:41,611 --> 00:22:43,572 saying that I was "not Me Too-ed?" 482 00:22:43,655 --> 00:22:48,660 Yes, because I didn't want you to start off on the wrong foot. 483 00:22:50,161 --> 00:22:51,161 But I wasn't. 484 00:22:52,163 --> 00:22:54,708 Yes, in fact, that's why I said, 485 00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:57,753 he was not Me Too-ed, I don't think. 486 00:22:57,836 --> 00:23:01,089 I was not... I've never been Me Too-ed. 487 00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:04,009 I've also never embezzled or slapped a waitress. 488 00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:06,386 Oh, wow. Should I tell them? 489 00:23:06,469 --> 00:23:08,347 No! That's what I'm saying. 490 00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:12,100 You... You don't have to "not" a thing that isn't. 491 00:23:12,183 --> 00:23:15,938 You are preaching to the choir. These are simple people. 492 00:23:16,021 --> 00:23:20,025 To them, a man leaves his job, moves to a new town, 493 00:23:20,108 --> 00:23:24,738 they think, "I wonder what was his evil crime." 494 00:23:24,821 --> 00:23:26,782 Did he do it to a person? 495 00:23:26,865 --> 00:23:28,450 -An animal?" -Animal? 496 00:23:28,533 --> 00:23:30,118 "I hope he doesn't do it to me." 497 00:23:30,201 --> 00:23:33,497 That's why I wrote a mass email to everyone, 498 00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:37,125 so instead they would think, "Wait a minute. Hold on." 499 00:23:37,208 --> 00:23:38,877 Maybe I should wait and see. 500 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,380 What if my gut instinct against him 501 00:23:41,463 --> 00:23:44,800 -is not completely right?" -Okay, okay, okay. Okay, 502 00:23:44,883 --> 00:23:47,094 this is bad, Esmeralda. 503 00:23:47,177 --> 00:23:49,304 You know what, I'm going to tell everyone 504 00:23:49,387 --> 00:23:52,015 that everything that I wrote in that email 505 00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:54,643 was completely incorrect, okay? 506 00:23:54,726 --> 00:23:56,394 -Thank you. -You're welcome. 507 00:23:57,896 --> 00:24:01,275 No, wait! Wait! Wait! I think that's worse. 508 00:24:01,358 --> 00:24:03,277 Why? What? 509 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:05,821 I think... I think it's better if it comes from me. 510 00:24:05,904 --> 00:24:07,281 -I agree. Great idea. -Yeah. Okay. 511 00:24:07,364 --> 00:24:09,700 Everybody's going to appreciate your remarks. 512 00:24:09,783 --> 00:24:13,036 Cool. No, not now. Not now. 513 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,373 Hi, everyone? Everyone? 514 00:24:16,456 --> 00:24:18,083 Everyone! 515 00:24:18,166 --> 00:24:21,545 Of course I'm not talking about the toilet paper people. 516 00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:24,422 Nat Simpson, here, would like to say something. 517 00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:27,092 -Right? -Uh... 518 00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:32,346 Thank you. 519 00:24:33,598 --> 00:24:36,602 Uh, hi, everyone. My name is Ned Sampson. 520 00:24:36,685 --> 00:24:38,103 I can't hear you. 521 00:24:39,521 --> 00:24:41,064 Do you mind if I stand on your desk? 522 00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:42,691 -If you must. -Thanks. 523 00:24:42,774 --> 00:24:44,568 I mean, I'd rather you didn't. 524 00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:49,781 Okay. Hi, everyone. My name is Ned Sampson. 525 00:24:49,864 --> 00:24:52,075 I am your new editor-in-chief. 526 00:24:52,158 --> 00:24:55,954 I believe that there was an email going around, 527 00:24:56,037 --> 00:25:00,459 but, uh, we'll... we'll talk about that later. 528 00:25:00,542 --> 00:25:04,046 I just had a meeting with Ken and Esmeralda, 529 00:25:04,129 --> 00:25:05,339 and it sounded to me like 530 00:25:05,422 --> 00:25:06,882 the changes that I was hoping to make, 531 00:25:06,965 --> 00:25:08,634 so that the Truth Teller could once again 532 00:25:08,717 --> 00:25:10,969 become a great Ohio paper, 533 00:25:11,052 --> 00:25:12,930 it sounds like those changes 534 00:25:13,013 --> 00:25:15,056 are too expensive to implement right now. 535 00:25:16,016 --> 00:25:17,142 That being said, 536 00:25:17,225 --> 00:25:19,186 I am going to make these changes, 537 00:25:19,269 --> 00:25:21,396 one way or another, that is why I am here. 538 00:25:21,479 --> 00:25:24,650 So feel free to let me know if you'd like to help out, 539 00:25:24,733 --> 00:25:26,276 and do some original reporting. 540 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,779 That includes everyone working on this floor. 541 00:25:28,862 --> 00:25:31,698 -Does that mean us, too? -No. Uh... 542 00:25:31,781 --> 00:25:34,534 -Are you interested? -I don't know. I might be. 543 00:25:34,617 --> 00:25:35,953 Great. 544 00:25:36,036 --> 00:25:37,162 Fantastic. 545 00:25:37,245 --> 00:25:39,790 Our first new reporter, possibly. 546 00:25:39,873 --> 00:25:41,166 If he's interested. We'll see. 547 00:25:41,249 --> 00:25:42,417 Now, I understand that there is no... 548 00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:44,336 Oh. I, for one, 549 00:25:44,419 --> 00:25:46,380 I think this is stupid, you know? 550 00:25:46,463 --> 00:25:48,131 I-I like things the way they are. 551 00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:49,591 I saw Esmeralda was mad, 552 00:25:49,674 --> 00:25:51,343 and I knew... I knew it was only a matter of time 553 00:25:51,426 --> 00:25:55,264 before she took it out on someone, so I had to act. 554 00:25:55,347 --> 00:25:59,184 As an advocate for consent, I think Mister Me-Too here... 555 00:25:59,267 --> 00:26:00,602 -No. -...he doesn't belong. 556 00:26:00,685 --> 00:26:02,187 -I was gonna talk about... -Yeah, no means no. 557 00:26:02,270 --> 00:26:03,397 That's what that means. 558 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,023 I think Esmeralda's a great boss. 559 00:26:05,106 --> 00:26:08,485 So, when I say four more, you guys say years! 560 00:26:08,568 --> 00:26:11,863 -Four more... -Detrick, just sit down! 561 00:26:11,946 --> 00:26:13,615 Hey, idiot. Sit down. 562 00:26:15,950 --> 00:26:17,244 No, the other idiot. 563 00:26:17,327 --> 00:26:18,578 -Me? -No, him! 564 00:26:18,661 --> 00:26:19,579 -Okay. -You talk. 565 00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:20,747 All right, thank you. 566 00:26:20,830 --> 00:26:22,374 As I was saying... 567 00:26:22,457 --> 00:26:23,457 Um... 568 00:26:25,085 --> 00:26:27,754 The changes might be too expensive right now. 569 00:26:27,837 --> 00:26:31,300 But be that as it may... 570 00:26:31,383 --> 00:26:33,802 if you have ever wanted to be the first person 571 00:26:33,885 --> 00:26:36,263 to know what's going on in the place where you live, 572 00:26:36,346 --> 00:26:37,889 or if you wanna make sure 573 00:26:37,972 --> 00:26:40,142 that the people who are running your city 574 00:26:40,225 --> 00:26:41,643 are telling the truth 575 00:26:41,726 --> 00:26:43,895 and doing the things that they said they would do, 576 00:26:43,978 --> 00:26:45,939 or if you just root for the underdog 577 00:26:46,022 --> 00:26:49,026 and you wanna give it to the loudmouths, 578 00:26:49,109 --> 00:26:51,236 you are more than welcome, all of you, 579 00:26:51,319 --> 00:26:54,281 to volunteer your time at this newspaper. 580 00:26:54,364 --> 00:26:56,700 So Marv, is it okay if we borrow a few hours a week 581 00:26:56,783 --> 00:26:59,328 from these guys' other duties if they want to participate? 582 00:26:59,411 --> 00:27:04,082 Yes. Let's, uh, do that to start. 583 00:27:04,165 --> 00:27:06,126 Fantastic. This is great news. 584 00:27:07,168 --> 00:27:08,462 If that sounds good to anyone, 585 00:27:08,545 --> 00:27:10,088 and you would like to talk to me about this, 586 00:27:10,171 --> 00:27:12,174 you can find me here or you could email me 587 00:27:12,257 --> 00:27:16,428 at SalesGod@SofteesChicago.com. 588 00:27:16,511 --> 00:27:18,388 Or at a work email which I will set up 589 00:27:18,471 --> 00:27:22,225 uh, tomorrow for this workplace. Thank you very much. 590 00:27:24,394 --> 00:27:26,104 No. 591 00:27:26,187 --> 00:27:27,480 The Me Too thing? 592 00:27:29,941 --> 00:27:31,192 Me didn't. 593 00:27:32,152 --> 00:27:34,237 Me wouldn't. 594 00:27:35,363 --> 00:27:39,284 Me believe in respect in workplace. 595 00:27:39,367 --> 00:27:41,954 -Me haven't... -Good. 596 00:27:42,037 --> 00:27:43,413 -...and won't. -I think. 597 00:27:43,496 --> 00:27:45,206 -Thank you. -Yeah. 598 00:27:46,291 --> 00:27:48,126 Did anybody hear that? 599 00:27:49,836 --> 00:27:51,588 In America, there is a saying 600 00:27:51,671 --> 00:27:56,051 about accepting the things that you cannot change. 601 00:27:58,345 --> 00:28:01,222 In Italy, we do not have that saying. 602 00:28:03,975 --> 00:28:05,352 I remember. 603 00:28:05,435 --> 00:28:07,521 I bet my name's on the inside of that smock. 604 00:28:07,604 --> 00:28:09,189 -Oh, yes? -I remember, 605 00:28:09,272 --> 00:28:12,317 I had this very job. I had this very job. 606 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,235 You were down here? Let me see the hands. 607 00:28:14,819 --> 00:28:15,821 Uh, oh yeah! 608 00:28:15,904 --> 00:28:17,072 Well, you know, I haven't... 609 00:28:17,155 --> 00:28:18,323 Maybe a little bit. 610 00:28:18,406 --> 00:28:19,825 I got a little soft in my old age, 611 00:28:19,908 --> 00:28:21,743 but I did everything. I worked the bailer, 612 00:28:21,826 --> 00:28:23,704 I worked the press. I did all of it. 613 00:28:23,787 --> 00:28:26,206 I did. I worked, I cleaned up. 614 00:28:26,289 --> 00:28:30,961 I worked... Are you kidding? I swept... I swept this place. 615 00:28:31,044 --> 00:28:32,671 -Yeah, you did? -Yeah. 616 00:28:34,881 --> 00:28:38,135 Hey. I was gonna take off for the night, if that's okay. 617 00:28:38,218 --> 00:28:39,720 -Sure. -Cool. 618 00:28:39,803 --> 00:28:43,307 Hey, have you, uh, have you seen this? 619 00:28:43,390 --> 00:28:46,184 It's a documentary from the '70s about this newspaper. 620 00:28:46,267 --> 00:28:48,186 -It's called Newspaper. -Uh-huh. 621 00:28:48,269 --> 00:28:51,398 -Yeah. I have. -It's amazing. 622 00:28:52,691 --> 00:28:55,193 Actually, do you wanna see something cool? 623 00:28:56,277 --> 00:28:58,280 I could have sworn this was cool. 624 00:28:58,363 --> 00:29:00,699 -Where are we going? -It's downstairs. 625 00:29:00,782 --> 00:29:01,950 Are we going outside? 626 00:29:02,033 --> 00:29:04,453 Is there a food truck with Chicago deep dish? 627 00:29:04,536 --> 00:29:05,787 No. 628 00:29:05,870 --> 00:29:07,414 Am I being hazed? I wanna say upfront, 629 00:29:07,497 --> 00:29:08,832 I don't like being hazed. 630 00:29:08,915 --> 00:29:10,292 -No. -Is it asbestos? 631 00:29:10,375 --> 00:29:11,543 'Cause I can smell it. 632 00:29:11,626 --> 00:29:14,880 Ooh! Is it a smutty pinball machine, 633 00:29:14,963 --> 00:29:16,173 -thank you? -No. 634 00:29:16,256 --> 00:29:17,590 -No? -No. 635 00:29:18,758 --> 00:29:20,052 I was hoping it was a pinball machine. 636 00:29:20,135 --> 00:29:21,386 Don't make a mess. 637 00:29:21,469 --> 00:29:23,722 -Oh, okay. -I'm not cleaning up after you. 638 00:29:23,805 --> 00:29:25,140 All right. 639 00:29:25,223 --> 00:29:26,934 -Is it him? -No. 640 00:29:27,017 --> 00:29:28,143 Okay. 641 00:29:28,226 --> 00:29:29,394 Ta-da! 642 00:29:30,145 --> 00:29:31,563 All your guesses sucked. 643 00:29:32,856 --> 00:29:34,149 This is incredible. 644 00:29:34,232 --> 00:29:36,610 It's a Goss Community, manufactured in 1965... 645 00:29:36,693 --> 00:29:38,862 ...in Rockford, Illinois. 646 00:29:41,656 --> 00:29:43,784 Hey. What do you think would happen 647 00:29:43,867 --> 00:29:44,910 if I push this button? 648 00:29:44,993 --> 00:29:45,994 I wouldn't. 649 00:29:46,077 --> 00:29:47,203 No. 650 00:29:50,206 --> 00:29:52,376 Email! Travis Bienlien. 651 00:29:52,459 --> 00:29:54,670 "I like to take pictures of my dog." 652 00:29:54,753 --> 00:29:55,754 Oh. 653 00:29:55,837 --> 00:29:57,089 "I could take pictures." 654 00:29:57,172 --> 00:29:58,465 Yeah, he's weird. 655 00:29:58,548 --> 00:29:59,675 But he's a good photographer. 656 00:29:59,758 --> 00:30:01,176 -That's good. -All right. 657 00:30:01,259 --> 00:30:02,469 I don't even know what he does here. 658 00:30:02,552 --> 00:30:04,346 Maybe drives a delivery truck? 659 00:30:04,429 --> 00:30:07,057 Another one. Adam Cooper. "Sports, question mark." 660 00:30:07,140 --> 00:30:10,143 -Okay. Maybe we should... -Get a corkboard. Yes. 661 00:30:10,226 --> 00:30:12,604 Old school, okay boss. 662 00:30:12,687 --> 00:30:14,856 So, that button down at the end of the machine? 663 00:30:14,939 --> 00:30:17,525 That's, well, that's a magic button. 664 00:30:18,943 --> 00:30:20,070 We push that button 665 00:30:20,153 --> 00:30:23,323 and the machine starts to rumble to life 666 00:30:23,406 --> 00:30:24,658 and all of those people, 667 00:30:24,741 --> 00:30:26,702 the 900 people in this building, 668 00:30:26,785 --> 00:30:29,621 all of the information they've gathered, 669 00:30:29,704 --> 00:30:31,456 the stories they've found, 670 00:30:31,539 --> 00:30:33,375 all of that gets fed into the machine, 671 00:30:33,458 --> 00:30:35,460 along with the paper and this... 672 00:30:35,543 --> 00:30:38,046 -Good night. -...process happens. 673 00:30:38,129 --> 00:30:40,465 It is a kind of alchemy 674 00:30:40,548 --> 00:30:44,886 and what comes out this end is the truth. 675 00:30:44,969 --> 00:30:48,390 It'sThe Truth Teller. That's what we do. 676 00:30:48,473 --> 00:30:50,809 And I don't mean to be blasphemous, 677 00:30:50,892 --> 00:30:54,313 but I... I worship at the altar of this machine. 678 00:31:05,949 --> 00:31:07,659 Oh, no. No, no, no. 679 00:31:07,742 --> 00:31:09,244 I'm not playing. 680 00:31:09,327 --> 00:31:10,954 I will make this unusable. 681 00:31:12,372 --> 00:31:14,791 . Use that. 682 00:31:18,086 --> 00:31:20,923 -I'm... I'm sorry. -No, go for it, boss. 683 00:31:21,006 --> 00:31:23,258 . This is unusable. 684 00:31:23,341 --> 00:31:26,553 A is out of its fly. 685 00:31:26,636 --> 00:31:29,222 A man washing his in the garden with a hose. 686 00:31:29,305 --> 00:31:30,474 His filthy. 687 00:31:30,557 --> 00:31:35,187 A man drying his with a burlap. 688 00:31:35,270 --> 00:31:37,689 With a burlap rag. 689 00:31:37,772 --> 00:31:40,025 A woman running through the field. 690 00:31:40,108 --> 00:31:42,027 Her... Her are out. 691 00:31:43,486 --> 00:31:44,738 Nipples. 692 00:31:44,821 --> 00:31:46,907 Nipples and areolas. With sweat. 693 00:31:46,990 --> 00:31:48,742 With perspiration dripping down. 694 00:31:48,825 --> 00:31:50,243 A dirty. 695 00:31:50,326 --> 00:31:52,620 I'm sorry, Softees. 50525

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