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- ♪ MTV
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00:00:08,855 --> 00:00:12,207
[theme music]
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00:00:12,337 --> 00:00:13,511
- ♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
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00:00:13,512 --> 00:00:15,470
♪ Gonna have myself a time
5
00:00:15,471 --> 00:00:16,950
- ♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
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00:00:17,081 --> 00:00:18,865
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
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00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,084
- ♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
8
00:00:20,171 --> 00:00:21,954
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
9
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:23,740
- ♪ Ample parking day
or night ♪
10
00:00:23,870 --> 00:00:25,524
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ♪
11
00:00:25,655 --> 00:00:26,743
- ♪ I'm headin' on down
to South Park ♪
12
00:00:26,873 --> 00:00:28,875
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
13
00:00:29,006 --> 00:00:32,139
- ♪ [mumbling] ♪
14
00:00:32,140 --> 00:00:33,357
- ♪ Come on down
to South Park ♪
15
00:00:33,358 --> 00:00:35,186
♪ And meet some friends
of mine ♪
16
00:00:39,234 --> 00:00:42,454
[twangy guitar music]
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00:00:42,541 --> 00:00:45,327
- Betsy! Betsy!
Guess what?
18
00:00:45,414 --> 00:00:47,284
My dad took me
to the Asian pop-up store.
19
00:00:47,285 --> 00:00:48,460
Look what I got.
20
00:00:48,547 --> 00:00:50,810
Serenity Labubu.
21
00:00:50,941 --> 00:00:53,030
- Oh, it's so cute!
- Isn't it?
22
00:00:53,161 --> 00:00:54,509
- I was at
the Asian pop-up too.
23
00:00:54,510 --> 00:00:55,598
- No way!
24
00:00:55,728 --> 00:00:57,077
- Yeah, look what I got.
25
00:00:57,078 --> 00:00:58,774
The Loyalty Labubu!
26
00:00:58,775 --> 00:01:01,038
- Oh, my God, it's so cute!
27
00:01:01,169 --> 00:01:03,300
- I know, right?
- Yeah, I love it.
28
00:01:03,301 --> 00:01:05,260
- Oh, dude, dude,
check it out.
29
00:01:05,347 --> 00:01:06,348
It's about to happen again.
30
00:01:06,478 --> 00:01:07,783
- Ah, shit.
31
00:01:07,784 --> 00:01:10,134
- I actually have
Loyalty Labubu already,
32
00:01:10,221 --> 00:01:11,569
and I have a little costume
for it.
33
00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:13,790
- That is seriously so cute.
34
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,966
- Kenny, you guys,
girls with Labubus.
35
00:01:16,097 --> 00:01:17,184
It's about to happen again.
36
00:01:17,185 --> 00:01:19,099
- [muffled speech]
- Come on!
37
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:20,492
- And then, believe it or not,
38
00:01:20,579 --> 00:01:23,147
I actually have
Chestnut Cocoa Labubu.
39
00:01:23,234 --> 00:01:25,757
- No way!
That is the rarest one.
40
00:01:25,758 --> 00:01:27,238
- Isn't it so cute?
41
00:01:27,369 --> 00:01:29,936
- So thinking cute!
But it's really rare.
42
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,068
Are you sure
it's not a knockoff?
43
00:01:31,155 --> 00:01:32,156
- Oh, dog, here we go.
44
00:01:32,287 --> 00:01:33,809
- Yeah, I checked.
45
00:01:33,810 --> 00:01:35,942
If anyone's fake, it's probably
yours, you fat bitch.
46
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- Suck it, skank!
- Eat shit!
47
00:01:37,770 --> 00:01:38,815
- Stupid slut!
48
00:01:38,945 --> 00:01:40,556
[screaming, cheering]
49
00:01:40,686 --> 00:01:41,731
- Ahh!
50
00:01:41,861 --> 00:01:43,776
- [screams]
51
00:01:43,907 --> 00:01:44,864
- Yeah, yeah!
52
00:01:44,951 --> 00:01:47,215
[blows landing]
53
00:01:47,345 --> 00:01:48,868
- Yeah, yeah!
- Hey!
54
00:01:48,999 --> 00:01:51,261
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
break it up, break it up!
55
00:01:51,262 --> 00:01:53,743
- She's rubbing everyone's
noses in her Labubus.
56
00:01:53,830 --> 00:01:57,267
- Both of you to the
counselor's office, now!
57
00:01:57,268 --> 00:01:59,183
- She totally started it!
- I did not.
58
00:01:59,314 --> 00:02:00,750
Shut up. I did not.
59
00:02:00,837 --> 00:02:02,534
- She came up to me
at my locker with her Labubu
60
00:02:02,621 --> 00:02:04,056
and started talking shit.
61
00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:07,104
- You talk shit about
my Labubus every day, whore.
62
00:02:08,410 --> 00:02:09,889
- Um...
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00:02:10,020 --> 00:02:11,674
yea, love your enemies
64
00:02:11,804 --> 00:02:13,763
and pray for those
who persecute you.
65
00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:16,373
- Tell her to stop saying
my Labubus are knockoffs.
66
00:02:16,374 --> 00:02:19,769
- I-I'm sorry,
what is a Labubu?
67
00:02:19,856 --> 00:02:21,422
- It's a little
monster accessory.
68
00:02:21,423 --> 00:02:22,641
- They come in blind boxes,
69
00:02:22,772 --> 00:02:24,208
so you never know
which one you're gonna get.
70
00:02:24,339 --> 00:02:25,644
- Like, you could just luck out
71
00:02:25,775 --> 00:02:27,602
and get a Time to Chill
Pajama Gold Labubu.
72
00:02:27,603 --> 00:02:29,039
- Oh, my God,
that one is so cute.
73
00:02:29,170 --> 00:02:31,388
- It's so cute, right?
74
00:02:31,389 --> 00:02:32,868
- Uh, all right, ladies,
75
00:02:32,869 --> 00:02:34,652
w-why don't you just
give me the dolls
76
00:02:34,653 --> 00:02:36,219
until the end
of the school day?
77
00:02:36,220 --> 00:02:37,656
both: That's not fair!
78
00:02:37,787 --> 00:02:39,005
- Go on out to recess.
79
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:40,877
You can pick up your Labubus
after school.
80
00:02:41,007 --> 00:02:43,661
- Wow. What kind of counseling
was that?
81
00:02:43,662 --> 00:02:45,664
- I don't know, Jesus sucks, dude.
82
00:02:45,795 --> 00:02:48,013
- Our old counselor
was so much better.
83
00:02:48,014 --> 00:02:50,973
[melancholy music]
84
00:02:50,974 --> 00:02:56,849
♪
85
00:02:56,980 --> 00:03:00,026
[kids screaming]
86
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:01,462
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
get some more over there.
87
00:03:01,463 --> 00:03:03,072
- This side's starting to fall.
88
00:03:03,073 --> 00:03:04,421
- We are the kings
of the castle!
89
00:03:04,422 --> 00:03:05,815
Let us in!
90
00:03:05,902 --> 00:03:07,251
- Hey, Butters.
91
00:03:07,382 --> 00:03:10,385
- Oh, well, uh, hey, Red.
92
00:03:10,472 --> 00:03:12,909
- Um, I was just wondering
93
00:03:13,039 --> 00:03:14,432
what you're doing this weekend.
94
00:03:18,262 --> 00:03:19,480
- Who, me?
95
00:03:19,481 --> 00:03:20,916
- Yeah.
96
00:03:20,917 --> 00:03:22,744
Um, I'm having a birthday party
at my house,
97
00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:26,879
and I was seeing if maybe
you'd want to come hang out?
98
00:03:28,968 --> 00:03:30,708
- You're talking about me?
99
00:03:30,709 --> 00:03:32,667
- Yeah, I don't know,
it's probably stupid.
100
00:03:32,668 --> 00:03:34,409
I shouldn't have asked.
Never mind.
101
00:03:34,539 --> 00:03:36,236
- No, no, I'd love to come
hang out with you
102
00:03:36,237 --> 00:03:37,280
on your birthday, Red.
103
00:03:37,281 --> 00:03:38,281
- Really? You would?
104
00:03:38,282 --> 00:03:39,282
- Well, sure!
105
00:03:39,283 --> 00:03:40,718
- Okay, that's great.
106
00:03:40,719 --> 00:03:42,154
I'll text you all the details.
107
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:44,026
- Okay, Red,
I'll see you there.
108
00:03:44,027 --> 00:03:45,637
- Okay, and um,
109
00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,377
maybe I'll text you
my birthday wishlist, too,
110
00:03:47,378 --> 00:03:49,119
in case, you know,
you want to get me a present.
111
00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:50,990
- Sure thing!
112
00:03:54,298 --> 00:03:55,734
Oh, my God, you guys,
113
00:03:55,865 --> 00:03:57,692
Red wants to hang out with me!
114
00:03:57,693 --> 00:03:59,607
- That's incredible!
115
00:03:59,608 --> 00:04:01,349
- Bro, it seems like
she really likes you.
116
00:04:01,479 --> 00:04:03,525
[phone chimes]
117
00:04:03,612 --> 00:04:06,005
BUTTERS: "Really excited
to see you Saturday."
118
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Whoa.
119
00:04:07,442 --> 00:04:09,444
Me and Red.
- Lucky.
120
00:04:09,531 --> 00:04:10,793
[notification swooshes]
121
00:04:10,923 --> 00:04:14,535
BUTTERS: "Here is my birthday
gift wishlist."
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[notifications swoosh]
123
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"This exact Labubu."
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Holy shit, you guys,
you know what I think?
125
00:04:26,156 --> 00:04:28,505
I think on Saturday I'm gonna
find out if red-haired girls
126
00:04:28,506 --> 00:04:29,767
have a red bush!
127
00:04:29,768 --> 00:04:31,379
- Wow!
- Wow!
128
00:04:31,509 --> 00:04:33,468
[upbeat music]
129
00:04:33,555 --> 00:04:34,990
- ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
130
00:04:34,991 --> 00:04:36,601
[singing in foreign language]
131
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♪ ♪
132
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- Welcome to
City Asian Pop-Up Store.
133
00:04:44,566 --> 00:04:47,002
Can I take a order, please?
134
00:04:47,003 --> 00:04:49,832
- Wait, didn't this place
used to be City Wok?
135
00:04:49,962 --> 00:04:52,008
- Yeah, but whole country
change.
136
00:04:52,138 --> 00:04:52,965
Didn't you hear the news?
137
00:04:53,096 --> 00:04:54,662
Wok is dead.
138
00:04:54,663 --> 00:04:57,274
This City Pop-Up now.
What do you like to have?
139
00:04:57,405 --> 00:04:58,796
We got City Pop-up
key chains,
140
00:04:58,797 --> 00:05:00,190
City cell phone charm,
141
00:05:00,321 --> 00:05:01,931
City anime sculpture.
142
00:05:02,018 --> 00:05:04,236
- Well, actually,
I'm looking for a Labubu.
143
00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:06,501
- Ah, yeah,
everyone love Labubu.
144
00:05:06,588 --> 00:05:08,240
They real hard
to keep in stock.
145
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,417
Very expensive
'cause of tariffs.
146
00:05:10,418 --> 00:05:12,071
- You know, uh,
it's really important.
147
00:05:12,202 --> 00:05:13,508
I got this new girlfriend,
148
00:05:13,638 --> 00:05:15,945
and she wants this specific
Labubu for her birthday.
149
00:05:16,032 --> 00:05:18,033
- Oh, that very rare Labubu.
150
00:05:18,034 --> 00:05:20,210
You only find that
in a mystery box.
151
00:05:20,341 --> 00:05:21,733
- Mystery box?
152
00:05:21,820 --> 00:05:23,605
- Hi. Are you guys
still serving food?
153
00:05:23,692 --> 00:05:25,954
- No, no, no, Wok is dead.
Haven't you heard the news?
154
00:05:25,955 --> 00:05:27,608
♪
155
00:05:27,609 --> 00:05:29,392
- Can't I just buy this Labubu?
156
00:05:29,393 --> 00:05:30,873
- No, that not the way it work.
157
00:05:31,003 --> 00:05:33,004
You buy mystery box,
you open it,
158
00:05:33,005 --> 00:05:34,616
hopefully you get
the one you want.
159
00:05:34,746 --> 00:05:36,399
- Okay, how much
is a mystery box?
160
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,358
- $85.
161
00:05:38,359 --> 00:05:39,447
- 85?
162
00:05:39,577 --> 00:05:41,405
- Yeah, you gotta pay tariff.
163
00:05:41,492 --> 00:05:42,840
You think I pay tariff?
No, no, no, no.
164
00:05:42,841 --> 00:05:44,190
You pay tariff.
165
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:45,627
- Well, okay, I'll take one.
166
00:05:45,757 --> 00:05:48,978
♪ ♪
167
00:06:00,076 --> 00:06:02,164
- Yeah, well, Wok is dead,
you stupid bitch!
168
00:06:02,165 --> 00:06:03,514
Stop nagging me!
169
00:06:03,645 --> 00:06:04,907
[package tears]
BUTTERS: Ah, dang it!
170
00:06:05,037 --> 00:06:06,561
This is the wrong one!
171
00:06:06,691 --> 00:06:08,780
- Oh, yeah, that just
Happiness Labubu.
172
00:06:08,867 --> 00:06:10,215
Very common. Very common.
173
00:06:10,216 --> 00:06:12,087
You try again, $85.
174
00:06:12,088 --> 00:06:14,306
- I have to pay another $85
175
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,005
and I still might not get
the one I want?
176
00:06:16,092 --> 00:06:18,093
- Hey, it's not me,
it's your government.
177
00:06:18,094 --> 00:06:19,399
I don't get fucked by tariff.
178
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,096
You get fucked by tariff.
179
00:06:21,097 --> 00:06:23,926
In China, we call that
hot potato.
180
00:06:24,056 --> 00:06:25,318
[dynamic music]
181
00:06:25,449 --> 00:06:27,319
ANNOUNCER:
You're watching Fox News.
182
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,801
REPORTER: The president
has just returned
183
00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:32,934
from his historic
tariff summit overseas.
184
00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:35,850
There's the president now,
looking handsome as ever.
185
00:06:35,851 --> 00:06:37,766
Oh, and there's
the Prince of Darkness,
186
00:06:37,896 --> 00:06:40,899
who's been traveling with the
president as of late.
187
00:06:40,986 --> 00:06:42,987
The president has made his way
off of Air Force One
188
00:06:42,988 --> 00:06:45,207
and will now speak to
a diverse crowd of reporters.
189
00:06:45,208 --> 00:06:46,948
[reporters clamoring]
190
00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:49,646
- Mr. Pre--Mr. President,
how did the tariff meetings go?
191
00:06:49,647 --> 00:06:51,388
- Ah, they went great, buddy!
192
00:06:51,475 --> 00:06:53,129
[reporters clamoring]
193
00:06:53,259 --> 00:06:55,914
- Mr. President, we're all
dying to know something.
194
00:06:56,001 --> 00:06:58,307
Your wife, Melania, has been
staying in New York
195
00:06:58,308 --> 00:06:59,700
and away from the White House.
196
00:06:59,701 --> 00:07:00,963
- That's right!
197
00:07:01,093 --> 00:07:04,140
- Well, what Fox News really
wants to know is
198
00:07:04,270 --> 00:07:06,098
are you fucking Satan?
199
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,537
- No! I'm not fucking Satan!
200
00:07:09,667 --> 00:07:12,148
- We're just
sorta hanging out.
201
00:07:12,278 --> 00:07:14,063
- Oh, come on, President Trump.
202
00:07:14,150 --> 00:07:15,586
With everything
you've been doing,
203
00:07:15,717 --> 00:07:18,067
pretty much the whole country
thinks you're fucking Satan now.
204
00:07:18,154 --> 00:07:19,851
- I'm not fucking Satan!
205
00:07:19,938 --> 00:07:22,332
- Can we go, please?
206
00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:26,858
- He is fucking Satan.
207
00:07:26,945 --> 00:07:28,773
- That guy's definitely
fucking Satan.
208
00:07:28,904 --> 00:07:29,861
What a stud.
209
00:07:29,948 --> 00:07:31,907
- Yeah, Fox News!
210
00:07:33,125 --> 00:07:34,387
PC PRINCIPAL:
All right, everyone, listen up,
211
00:07:34,518 --> 00:07:36,171
As you know, there's a lot
being done in the country
212
00:07:36,172 --> 00:07:38,087
to bring Christian values
back to our schools.
213
00:07:38,174 --> 00:07:39,784
Our new school counselor
has some concerns
214
00:07:39,915 --> 00:07:40,785
that I understand
he'd like to voice.
215
00:07:40,916 --> 00:07:41,830
Go ahead, Jesus.
216
00:07:44,136 --> 00:07:46,661
- Well, I'm just a bit confused
217
00:07:46,791 --> 00:07:48,793
about the dramatic rise
in fist fighting
218
00:07:48,924 --> 00:07:50,403
over these Labubus.
219
00:07:50,534 --> 00:07:51,579
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
220
00:07:51,709 --> 00:07:52,754
- Oh, the Labubus.
221
00:07:52,884 --> 00:07:54,798
- Kids go nuts for 'em.
222
00:07:54,799 --> 00:07:58,149
- I just don't quite understand
what the fascination is.
223
00:07:58,150 --> 00:08:00,413
- Well, they're just the new fad
of the month, you know.
224
00:08:00,544 --> 00:08:02,981
- They make them scarce
and hard to find a secret one.
225
00:08:03,068 --> 00:08:05,548
- Yeah, and then all the kids
make their Labubu TikToks.
226
00:08:05,549 --> 00:08:07,202
- Labubu TikTok?
227
00:08:07,203 --> 00:08:08,770
- Yeah, the kids make 'em
and they watch 'em.
228
00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:10,205
I can pull one up.
229
00:08:10,206 --> 00:08:12,904
This is Kelly Bronson
from Mrs. Turner's class.
230
00:08:12,991 --> 00:08:15,950
- Hey, guys, this is another
Labubu unboxing video!
231
00:08:15,951 --> 00:08:17,213
I got this Labubu online.
232
00:08:17,343 --> 00:08:18,518
I'm pretty sure
it's not a Lafufu.
233
00:08:18,519 --> 00:08:19,998
I got the QR code right here.
234
00:08:20,129 --> 00:08:22,000
We're gonna see what we got.
Hope it's a rare one.
235
00:08:22,131 --> 00:08:24,175
If it is, I'm absolutely
gonna freak out.
236
00:08:24,176 --> 00:08:26,570
Okay, let's see,
let's see, let's see!
237
00:08:26,701 --> 00:08:28,963
- ♪ Labu ♪
238
00:08:28,964 --> 00:08:30,791
- [screaming]
239
00:08:30,792 --> 00:08:32,141
Oh, my God!
240
00:08:32,271 --> 00:08:34,012
Oh, my God!
241
00:08:34,143 --> 00:08:36,013
Okay, okay,
let's start the ritual.
242
00:08:36,014 --> 00:08:37,188
- ♪ Labubu
243
00:08:37,189 --> 00:08:40,584
♪ Labu-bu
244
00:08:40,671 --> 00:08:43,412
♪ La-bula-bula-bu-bu-bu-bu ♪
245
00:08:43,413 --> 00:08:46,197
♪ La-bula-bula-bu-bu-bu-bu
246
00:08:46,198 --> 00:08:48,026
♪ Labubu, Labubu
247
00:08:48,157 --> 00:08:50,638
[static droning,
heavy breathing]
248
00:08:50,768 --> 00:08:54,163
- [screaming]
249
00:08:56,034 --> 00:08:57,469
- What the hell was that?
250
00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:59,994
- That's a Labubu
unboxing TikTok.
251
00:08:59,995 --> 00:09:02,258
- Kids go nuts for 'em.
252
00:09:02,388 --> 00:09:04,826
- But that's, like,
some dark Satanic ritual.
253
00:09:04,956 --> 00:09:06,609
- Oh, yeah, Labubus are demonic.
254
00:09:06,610 --> 00:09:08,046
- Yeah, dark magic.
255
00:09:08,177 --> 00:09:09,699
- I don't know if they come that
way from China,
256
00:09:09,700 --> 00:09:12,268
or the kids are infusing them
with some Sumerian dark entity.
257
00:09:12,398 --> 00:09:13,704
- It's Mesopotamian.
258
00:09:13,835 --> 00:09:15,619
- Got it. So what are your
major concerns, Jesus?
259
00:09:18,187 --> 00:09:19,361
- Bro.
260
00:09:19,362 --> 00:09:20,842
That's not normal.
261
00:09:20,972 --> 00:09:22,539
These kids are in trouble.
262
00:09:22,670 --> 00:09:25,237
- Yeah, that's why every school
needs a counselor.
263
00:09:25,368 --> 00:09:28,240
[dramatic music]
264
00:09:28,371 --> 00:09:29,807
♪ ♪
265
00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:36,118
[upbeat music]
266
00:09:36,248 --> 00:09:38,685
[singing in foreign language]
267
00:09:38,686 --> 00:09:40,775
- Welcome City Pop-Up.
Take order, please.
268
00:09:40,862 --> 00:09:43,690
- I have $88.42 in here.
269
00:09:43,691 --> 00:09:45,256
I need to buy
another mystery box.
270
00:09:45,257 --> 00:09:48,652
- Oh, sorry,
Labubu mystery box $120.
271
00:09:48,783 --> 00:09:50,698
- What?
It was $85!
272
00:09:50,828 --> 00:09:52,525
- Yeah, yeah, tariffs when up!
273
00:09:52,656 --> 00:09:54,657
You never know with tariffs.
They make no sense.
274
00:09:54,658 --> 00:09:56,007
- But that's not fair!
275
00:09:56,094 --> 00:09:58,095
- Yeah, no shit,
tariffs not fair!
276
00:09:58,096 --> 00:10:00,664
- Please, sir, my girlfriend's
party is today,
277
00:10:00,751 --> 00:10:02,186
and I have to get
the Labubu she wants.
278
00:10:02,187 --> 00:10:03,318
Please!
279
00:10:03,319 --> 00:10:04,363
- It's okay, it's okay.
280
00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:05,930
I have idea.
281
00:10:06,061 --> 00:10:08,150
You want mystery box
for cheap price?
282
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,369
You use claw machine.
283
00:10:10,456 --> 00:10:11,718
You try your luck.
284
00:10:11,719 --> 00:10:13,763
Use claw machine
to get a mystery box,
285
00:10:13,764 --> 00:10:16,897
open it up, hopefully
you get good Labubu you want.
286
00:10:16,898 --> 00:10:17,898
[upbeat music]
287
00:10:17,899 --> 00:10:19,508
- ♪ Labubu
288
00:10:19,509 --> 00:10:22,251
♪ Labu-labu-labu
289
00:10:22,338 --> 00:10:24,122
♪ Labubu ♪
290
00:10:24,253 --> 00:10:27,124
♪ Labu-labu-labu-labu ♪
291
00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:28,430
MR. KIM: Oh, you so close.
292
00:10:28,431 --> 00:10:29,475
Try again.
293
00:10:29,606 --> 00:10:32,130
- Oh, jeez.
294
00:10:32,261 --> 00:10:34,089
- ♪ Labubu ♪
295
00:10:35,917 --> 00:10:37,570
- Oh, here we go.
296
00:10:37,701 --> 00:10:40,399
I get screwed by tariffs,
so I have to screw the children!
297
00:10:40,530 --> 00:10:41,966
What do you not understand?
298
00:10:42,097 --> 00:10:42,967
- [huffs]
299
00:10:46,754 --> 00:10:48,450
- Yeah, well, Wok's not
coming back, bitch!
300
00:10:48,451 --> 00:10:49,974
Go wok, go brok!
301
00:10:50,105 --> 00:10:51,672
[machine beeps]
- ♪ Labu ♪
302
00:10:52,716 --> 00:10:55,414
JESUS: Thank you for coming,
Mrs. Paxton, Mrs. Gray.
303
00:10:55,545 --> 00:10:58,590
The reason I called you in today
is because your girls were
304
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:01,376
in a major altercation
over their Labubus.
305
00:11:01,377 --> 00:11:03,814
- Okay, so what are you gonna
do about it?
306
00:11:03,945 --> 00:11:06,034
- Well, I was hoping
we could work together
307
00:11:06,164 --> 00:11:08,600
to maybe just keep them away
from the Labubus.
308
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,733
- Oh, sure, just take
their Labubus away.
309
00:11:10,734 --> 00:11:12,387
Great counseling.
310
00:11:12,388 --> 00:11:14,999
- Look, I have reason to believe
that the students are using
311
00:11:15,130 --> 00:11:18,220
Labubus for some kind of...
ritual.
312
00:11:18,350 --> 00:11:20,657
- Yeah, but to do that, you have
to have a super rare one.
313
00:11:20,788 --> 00:11:22,964
- They're the only ones
girls can use in dark rituals.
314
00:11:23,094 --> 00:11:25,139
- You know that they're demonic?
315
00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:27,533
- Yeah.
What are we supposed to do?
316
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:30,101
My daughter sees Kelly Miller
summoning demonic forces
317
00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:33,582
on TikTok, then she wants to be
like Kelly Miller.
318
00:11:33,583 --> 00:11:35,803
- Did Kelly Miller
summon demonic forces?
319
00:11:35,933 --> 00:11:37,630
- I don't know,
she hung herself.
320
00:11:37,761 --> 00:11:40,329
- Well, we should probably keep
the girls off of TikTok.
321
00:11:40,416 --> 00:11:42,200
- Oh, yeah,
just keep 'em off TikTok.
322
00:11:42,331 --> 00:11:43,985
That's some clever
counseling there.
323
00:11:44,115 --> 00:11:46,117
- Do you have kids?
- No, I don't.
324
00:11:46,204 --> 00:11:47,815
- Figures.
- Well, when you do,
325
00:11:47,945 --> 00:11:49,251
you try and keep 'em off
of TikTok
326
00:11:49,381 --> 00:11:51,122
and out of
the Asian pop-up store.
327
00:11:51,209 --> 00:11:53,995
- Wait,
what is an Asian pop-up store?
328
00:11:54,082 --> 00:11:56,387
- That's where the girls get
all the Labubus.
329
00:11:56,388 --> 00:11:57,867
- Where did they find this guy?
330
00:11:57,868 --> 00:11:59,957
- We told you he was
a crappy counselor
331
00:12:01,916 --> 00:12:05,006
ANNOUNCER:
This is a Fox News Alert!
332
00:12:05,093 --> 00:12:08,009
- As debates
on American tariffs continue,
333
00:12:08,096 --> 00:12:10,489
the question on every
American's mind tonight,
334
00:12:10,620 --> 00:12:13,448
is President Trump
fucking Satan?
335
00:12:13,449 --> 00:12:15,624
The president's been seen less
and less with his wife
336
00:12:15,625 --> 00:12:17,496
and more often with his new pal,
337
00:12:17,627 --> 00:12:19,455
making people
all around the world say,
338
00:12:19,585 --> 00:12:22,849
"Donald Trump has got to be
fucking Satan, for sure."
339
00:12:22,850 --> 00:12:24,981
- Well, for all of us
who are still skeptical
340
00:12:24,982 --> 00:12:26,983
that President Trump
is fucking Satan,
341
00:12:26,984 --> 00:12:28,725
Fox News has obtained
some footage
342
00:12:28,856 --> 00:12:31,683
of President Trump seeming
to be fucking Satan.
343
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,382
This was at
a golf course yesterday
344
00:12:33,469 --> 00:12:35,471
where the president was
heroically golfing.
345
00:12:35,601 --> 00:12:37,473
You can just make out Satan
going behind a bush
346
00:12:37,603 --> 00:12:39,170
and President Trump
right there--
347
00:12:39,257 --> 00:12:41,303
he's fucking Satan.
Karen, what do you think?
348
00:12:41,433 --> 00:12:43,827
- I think the president is
definitely fucking Satan,
349
00:12:43,958 --> 00:12:45,960
and I love it.
350
00:12:46,090 --> 00:12:47,700
- Of course, a lot of Americans
still argue
351
00:12:47,831 --> 00:12:50,224
there's no way the president
could be fucking Satan.
352
00:12:50,225 --> 00:12:52,226
So we have a body language
expert to show us
353
00:12:52,227 --> 00:12:54,141
just how it is possible.
354
00:12:54,142 --> 00:12:57,188
- Well, if Mr. President Trump
is fucking Satan--
355
00:12:57,275 --> 00:12:59,015
and I'm not saying
if he is or isn't.
356
00:12:59,016 --> 00:13:01,235
I'm just kinda hoping he is--
357
00:13:01,236 --> 00:13:03,890
he mostly likely
is coming in from the back.
358
00:13:03,891 --> 00:13:06,370
Now, Satan has a pretty large
physical presence,
359
00:13:06,371 --> 00:13:08,503
so we're pretty sure President
Trump would have to get on top
360
00:13:08,504 --> 00:13:09,853
and--
- Ah!
361
00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:11,506
- Oh, my God, the president
is doing things
362
00:13:11,507 --> 00:13:12,637
no other president
has done before.
363
00:13:12,638 --> 00:13:14,378
I love him.
364
00:13:14,379 --> 00:13:16,293
- If you don't think President
Trump is fucking Satan,
365
00:13:16,294 --> 00:13:18,209
this definitely proves
how he could be!
366
00:13:18,296 --> 00:13:21,298
[upbeat music]
367
00:13:21,299 --> 00:13:25,695
[singing in foreign language]
368
00:13:25,826 --> 00:13:29,220
[angelic tones]
369
00:13:30,308 --> 00:13:32,223
- Welcome to City Asian
Pop-Up Store.
370
00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:33,790
Take order, please.
371
00:13:33,921 --> 00:13:36,270
- Are you the one that has been
selling all these Labubus
372
00:13:36,271 --> 00:13:37,880
to my students?
373
00:13:37,881 --> 00:13:39,230
- Oh, boy.
374
00:13:39,317 --> 00:13:41,580
Look, it not my fault,
these city prices, okay?
375
00:13:41,711 --> 00:13:43,277
Labubus very expensive.
376
00:13:43,278 --> 00:13:45,496
- Those dolls you are selling
are cursed!
377
00:13:45,497 --> 00:13:47,108
- Yeah, no shit they cursed.
378
00:13:47,195 --> 00:13:49,544
It's called tariff.
You pass it along.
379
00:13:49,545 --> 00:13:50,894
I get the curse,
I put the curse on you.
380
00:13:51,025 --> 00:13:52,374
It's like AIDS.
381
00:13:52,504 --> 00:13:53,941
BUTTERS: Oh, my God, I got it!
382
00:13:54,071 --> 00:13:56,247
I got the super rare!
383
00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:57,987
- Hey, what the hell
you talking about?
384
00:13:57,988 --> 00:13:59,555
- This is the one
my girlfriend wants!
385
00:13:59,685 --> 00:14:01,600
Now I can take it
to her birthday party!
386
00:14:01,731 --> 00:14:03,732
- My child, put that down,
it's dangerous!
387
00:14:03,733 --> 00:14:06,475
- Hey, hey, hold on,
that's super rare Labubu.
388
00:14:06,562 --> 00:14:09,217
That worth, like, $600.
You gotta pay more tariff.
389
00:14:13,351 --> 00:14:15,352
- Oh, my God, will you go away?
390
00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:17,006
- Listen, both of you!
391
00:14:17,007 --> 00:14:19,530
There are more important issues
at hand.
392
00:14:19,531 --> 00:14:22,012
My child, you cannot take that
to a birthday party.
393
00:14:23,579 --> 00:14:25,276
- Ah, shit, where he go?
394
00:14:46,645 --> 00:14:48,908
- Satan?
395
00:14:48,909 --> 00:14:51,868
Why are you so sad?
396
00:14:51,999 --> 00:14:56,916
- I wish to be gone
from this place.
397
00:14:56,917 --> 00:14:59,223
- I do not understand.
398
00:14:59,354 --> 00:15:01,182
If you do not want to be here,
399
00:15:01,312 --> 00:15:04,054
then why do you stay?
400
00:15:04,185 --> 00:15:08,667
- I am forced to stay
by the dark tides of destiny.
401
00:15:08,798 --> 00:15:13,628
I wanted to leave months ago,
but I cannot
402
00:15:13,629 --> 00:15:17,938
because of what's in this box.
403
00:15:19,765 --> 00:15:21,898
- What's in the box?
404
00:15:21,985 --> 00:15:24,901
- The secret none must know,
405
00:15:24,988 --> 00:15:28,905
and yet, all will soon discover.
406
00:15:29,036 --> 00:15:32,039
I can feel the tides of change.
407
00:15:32,169 --> 00:15:36,043
The final showdown is upon us.
408
00:15:41,135 --> 00:15:44,355
[upbeat music playing]
409
00:15:44,442 --> 00:15:48,620
[indistinct chatter]
410
00:15:48,751 --> 00:15:50,492
[blows landing]
411
00:15:50,622 --> 00:15:52,188
[doorbell rings]
412
00:15:52,189 --> 00:15:54,669
♪
413
00:15:54,670 --> 00:15:57,020
- Happy birthday, Red!
414
00:15:57,151 --> 00:15:58,456
- Butters.
415
00:15:58,587 --> 00:16:00,937
Wait.
Is that what I think it is?
416
00:16:01,068 --> 00:16:04,158
- Well, you'll have to wait till
you open it to find out--
417
00:16:04,245 --> 00:16:05,462
Oh, all right then.
418
00:16:05,463 --> 00:16:08,422
♪
419
00:16:08,423 --> 00:16:09,990
- [screaming]
420
00:16:11,426 --> 00:16:12,862
I love you, Butters!
421
00:16:12,993 --> 00:16:15,038
- Wow!
422
00:16:15,169 --> 00:16:16,257
- I got it, you guys!
423
00:16:16,387 --> 00:16:17,954
- Oh, wow!
- It's so cool!
424
00:16:18,041 --> 00:16:19,476
- Oh, it's so cute!
425
00:16:19,477 --> 00:16:20,870
- I got the super rare,
426
00:16:21,001 --> 00:16:22,480
all thanks to Butters.
427
00:16:22,611 --> 00:16:24,395
- So are you gonna do it?
428
00:16:24,482 --> 00:16:26,831
- Yeah! We're gonna go upstairs
and do it!
429
00:16:26,832 --> 00:16:28,268
- Whoa! We're gonna what?
430
00:16:28,269 --> 00:16:29,618
- Come up to my room, Butters!
431
00:16:29,705 --> 00:16:30,619
- Oh, my God!
432
00:16:30,749 --> 00:16:32,315
♪ ♪
433
00:16:32,316 --> 00:16:33,535
- Hey, if anyone wants
to watch us do it,
434
00:16:33,665 --> 00:16:34,665
come on up!
435
00:16:34,666 --> 00:16:36,145
- Okay, yeah.
- Great.
436
00:16:36,146 --> 00:16:38,061
- Oh!
This is all really sudden, Red!
437
00:16:38,192 --> 00:16:39,235
Wait!
438
00:16:39,236 --> 00:16:41,543
[engine revving, tires squeal]
439
00:16:42,718 --> 00:16:43,674
[line ringing]
440
00:16:43,675 --> 00:16:46,460
[phone ringing]
441
00:16:46,461 --> 00:16:49,115
- South Park Elementary.
I'm sorry, we're closed.
442
00:16:49,116 --> 00:16:50,508
- Bev! I need to know
which of the students
443
00:16:50,639 --> 00:16:52,554
has a birthday today.
444
00:16:52,684 --> 00:16:53,642
- Who is this?
445
00:16:53,729 --> 00:16:55,774
- It's me, Jesus!
446
00:16:55,861 --> 00:16:56,906
- Who?
447
00:16:57,037 --> 00:16:58,342
- The school counselor!
448
00:16:58,473 --> 00:17:01,170
- Oh. I don't know who has
a birthday today.
449
00:17:01,171 --> 00:17:03,694
That was actually always
the counselor's job.
450
00:17:03,695 --> 00:17:06,828
- Can you just look it up
in the school records, please?
451
00:17:06,829 --> 00:17:08,090
- Hang on.
452
00:17:08,091 --> 00:17:10,441
Guess I'm doing your job
too now.
453
00:17:11,660 --> 00:17:13,748
- Okay, okay.
Oh, my God.
454
00:17:13,749 --> 00:17:15,881
I'm so excited to finally do it.
455
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:18,928
- Well, yeah, I guess
I'm excited to do it, too, Red.
456
00:17:19,059 --> 00:17:20,755
- Okay, I think we're all ready.
457
00:17:20,756 --> 00:17:22,888
Here, you take a video
of the whole thing.
458
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,194
- Whoa!
Can't we just kiss first?
459
00:17:25,195 --> 00:17:28,198
- Hey! What's up, guys?
This is my TikTok Labubu video.
460
00:17:28,329 --> 00:17:30,592
I got the super rare,
so let's see if it works.
461
00:17:30,722 --> 00:17:32,028
- Hey, we want to watch.
462
00:17:32,115 --> 00:17:34,161
- Yeah, come on in, you guys.
463
00:17:34,291 --> 00:17:36,771
[chicken clucking]
464
00:17:36,772 --> 00:17:38,687
[all chanting]
Labubu, Labubu.
465
00:17:38,774 --> 00:17:40,383
Labubu, Labubu.
466
00:17:40,384 --> 00:17:42,777
- What the heck's going on?
all: Labubu, Labubu.
467
00:17:42,778 --> 00:17:44,126
[knife slashing, chicken cries]
- Ah!
468
00:17:44,127 --> 00:17:46,085
- [slurping]
- Oh, God!
469
00:17:46,086 --> 00:17:47,478
- [retching]
470
00:17:52,570 --> 00:17:55,269
[electricity sparking]
471
00:17:55,356 --> 00:17:56,966
all: Labubu, Labubu.
472
00:17:57,097 --> 00:18:00,578
Labubu, Labubu.
473
00:18:00,709 --> 00:18:02,710
- Here he comes!
474
00:18:02,711 --> 00:18:05,539
[low groaning]
475
00:18:05,540 --> 00:18:07,194
- Ah!
476
00:18:07,324 --> 00:18:09,021
- We call the demonic forces!
477
00:18:09,152 --> 00:18:11,545
Appear before us
at my birthday party!
478
00:18:11,546 --> 00:18:12,938
- This is so cool!
479
00:18:13,069 --> 00:18:15,550
- [growling]
480
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,552
- Ta-da!
481
00:18:17,682 --> 00:18:19,596
all: Ew!
482
00:18:19,597 --> 00:18:21,425
- Wait, that thing
is fucking Satan?
483
00:18:21,556 --> 00:18:24,384
- No! I'm not fucking Satan!
484
00:18:24,385 --> 00:18:26,387
[growls]
485
00:18:26,517 --> 00:18:28,605
[screaming]
486
00:18:28,606 --> 00:18:32,088
ANNOUNCER:
This is a Fox News Super Alert!
487
00:18:32,219 --> 00:18:35,351
- We may just have another
Trump and Satan spotting.
488
00:18:35,352 --> 00:18:36,745
The two are rumored to be
489
00:18:36,832 --> 00:18:38,398
in a small mountain town
in the Rockies.
490
00:18:38,399 --> 00:18:40,444
Let's go to
our Colorado affiliate.
491
00:18:40,575 --> 00:18:41,837
[metal scraping, wind blowing]
492
00:18:41,967 --> 00:18:43,142
- Yeah, guys,
there's definitely black clouds
493
00:18:43,143 --> 00:18:45,361
and swarms of locusts here.
494
00:18:45,362 --> 00:18:47,798
Um, probably another
Labubu party.
495
00:18:47,799 --> 00:18:49,452
You know,
whenever there's a Labubu party,
496
00:18:49,453 --> 00:18:51,846
the president and Satan
usually make an appearance.
497
00:18:51,847 --> 00:18:53,240
- We've got our
eye in the sky now.
498
00:18:53,370 --> 00:18:54,763
Guys, what are you seeing?
499
00:18:54,850 --> 00:18:56,633
REPORTER:
Yeah, you can see little girls
500
00:18:56,634 --> 00:18:58,288
running and screaming.
501
00:18:58,419 --> 00:19:00,203
The president just coming out
onto the front lawn--
502
00:19:00,334 --> 00:19:01,857
and yes, there is Satan.
503
00:19:01,987 --> 00:19:03,902
They're definitely
hanging out.
504
00:19:03,989 --> 00:19:06,600
- Come on, let's go!
505
00:19:06,601 --> 00:19:09,125
JESUS: Lucifer!
506
00:19:10,257 --> 00:19:11,431
- So...
507
00:19:11,432 --> 00:19:13,824
it is you.
508
00:19:13,825 --> 00:19:15,957
- Just what are you doing,
Satan?
509
00:19:15,958 --> 00:19:17,654
I will know.
510
00:19:17,655 --> 00:19:19,440
[brakes squealing]
511
00:19:19,527 --> 00:19:22,443
- Okay, it looks like Jesus
Christ is now on the scene
512
00:19:22,573 --> 00:19:24,835
for some kind of
biblical showdown.
513
00:19:24,836 --> 00:19:27,098
- I have seen your evil at work,
Satan.
514
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:29,623
I bid you leave this realm
at once.
515
00:19:29,624 --> 00:19:31,843
- You think
I don't want to leave?
516
00:19:31,974 --> 00:19:33,932
I am bound to him!
517
00:19:34,019 --> 00:19:35,846
- Bound to him how?
518
00:19:35,847 --> 00:19:38,589
- All right, fine! Here!
519
00:19:38,676 --> 00:19:41,070
You all want to know the truth?
520
00:19:42,898 --> 00:19:45,292
Yes! We're together!
521
00:19:45,422 --> 00:19:47,423
We've been together for months,
522
00:19:47,424 --> 00:19:50,862
and I want to leave him,
but I can't
523
00:19:50,993 --> 00:19:53,169
because...
524
00:19:53,256 --> 00:19:54,823
I'm pregnant.
525
00:20:03,658 --> 00:20:05,441
- He's pregnant?
526
00:20:05,442 --> 00:20:06,617
- Whoa.
527
00:20:06,704 --> 00:20:08,532
- So now you all know.
528
00:20:08,663 --> 00:20:11,056
I am forced to stay
in this situation
529
00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:12,971
for several more years.
530
00:20:16,366 --> 00:20:19,543
- Uh, Satan is saying he's been
trapped at the White House
531
00:20:19,674 --> 00:20:21,763
because he's pregnant.
532
00:20:21,893 --> 00:20:23,721
Uh, let's get
our science expert in here
533
00:20:23,852 --> 00:20:26,071
to see if
that's actually possible.
534
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:29,553
- Yeah, uh, demonic pregnancies
work a little different.
535
00:20:29,684 --> 00:20:32,381
The term is "butt baby."
536
00:20:32,382 --> 00:20:33,948
- All right, well,
that seems to be it.
537
00:20:33,949 --> 00:20:37,213
Satan is pregnant with the
president's child.
538
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:39,998
So Fox News can now confirm
539
00:20:40,129 --> 00:20:43,132
Donald Trump has been fucking
Satan this whole time.
540
00:20:43,263 --> 00:20:44,524
- Yeah!
[cheering]
541
00:20:44,525 --> 00:20:45,829
This is a great day
for Fox News.
542
00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:48,136
- Yes, Fox News!
543
00:20:48,137 --> 00:20:49,747
- For all the doubters
who thought Donald Trump
544
00:20:49,878 --> 00:20:51,358
wasn't fucking Satan,
545
00:20:51,488 --> 00:20:53,011
in your face!
546
00:20:53,142 --> 00:20:54,883
We're gonna check in now
with Kid Rock.
547
00:20:54,970 --> 00:20:57,363
Kid, you must be overcome
with emotion.
548
00:20:57,364 --> 00:20:59,713
- I just--
I just honestly didn't think
549
00:20:59,714 --> 00:21:01,977
the president was fucking Satan,
but
550
00:21:02,107 --> 00:21:04,893
now knowing that he has been
this whole time,
551
00:21:04,980 --> 00:21:07,851
I'm just so happy.
552
00:21:07,852 --> 00:21:11,247
[bell rings]
553
00:21:11,378 --> 00:21:13,988
JESUS: Well, I hope you guys
learned a valuable lesson.
554
00:21:13,989 --> 00:21:16,992
If you mess around
and you aren't safe,
555
00:21:17,122 --> 00:21:19,908
it can have really
big consequences.
556
00:21:21,910 --> 00:21:24,303
- Yeah, I'm not having sex
for a long time.
557
00:21:24,304 --> 00:21:26,217
- And I'm done with Labubus.
558
00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:28,568
- Well, that's good,
because as your counselor,
559
00:21:28,569 --> 00:21:30,701
I'm banning Labubus from school.
560
00:21:30,788 --> 00:21:33,400
And TikTok.
And cell phones.
561
00:21:33,530 --> 00:21:34,618
Now get back to class.
562
00:21:34,749 --> 00:21:36,272
You both have detention
for two weeks.
563
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:38,492
- Oh, man!
564
00:21:38,622 --> 00:21:40,754
- Wow, new counselor's
kind of a dick.
565
00:21:40,755 --> 00:21:43,845
- Yeah, but he's better
than the last guy.
566
00:21:47,414 --> 00:21:49,503
- ♪ Labubu
567
00:21:49,590 --> 00:21:51,635
♪ La, labu-labu ♪
568
00:21:54,812 --> 00:21:57,728
[theme music]
569
00:21:57,815 --> 00:22:04,692
♪ ♪
38392
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