Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,820 --> 00:00:03,820
- ♪ MTV
2
00:00:08,830 --> 00:00:12,180
[theme music]
3
00:00:12,310 --> 00:00:13,490
- ♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
4
00:00:13,490 --> 00:00:15,440
♪ Gonna have myself a time
5
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:16,920
- ♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
6
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,840
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
7
00:00:18,930 --> 00:00:20,060
- ♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
8
00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:21,930
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
9
00:00:21,930 --> 00:00:23,710
- ♪ Ample parking day
or night ♪
10
00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:25,500
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ♪
11
00:00:25,630 --> 00:00:26,720
- ♪ I'm headin' on down
to South Park ♪
12
00:00:26,850 --> 00:00:28,850
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
13
00:00:28,980 --> 00:00:32,110
- ♪ [mumbling] ♪
14
00:00:32,110 --> 00:00:33,330
- ♪ Come on down
to South Park ♪
15
00:00:33,330 --> 00:00:35,160
♪ And meet some friends
of mine ♪
16
00:00:39,210 --> 00:00:42,430
[twangy guitar music]
17
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,300
- Betsy! Betsy!
Guess what?
18
00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:47,260
My dad took me
to the Asian pop-up store.
19
00:00:47,260 --> 00:00:48,430
Look what I got.
20
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:50,780
Serenity Labubu.
21
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,000
- Oh, it's so cute!
- Isn't it?
22
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,480
- I was at
the Asian pop-up too.
23
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:55,570
- No way!
24
00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:57,050
- Yeah, look what I got.
25
00:00:57,050 --> 00:00:58,750
The Loyalty Labubu!
26
00:00:58,750 --> 00:01:01,010
- Oh, my God, it's so cute!
27
00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:03,270
- I know, right?
- Yeah, I love it.
28
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,230
- Oh, dude, dude,
check it out.
29
00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:06,320
It's about to happen again.
30
00:01:06,450 --> 00:01:07,760
- Ah, shit.
31
00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,110
- I actually have
Loyalty Labubu already,
32
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,540
and I have a little costume
for it.
33
00:01:11,540 --> 00:01:13,760
- That is seriously so cute.
34
00:01:13,890 --> 00:01:15,940
- Kenny, you guys,
girls with Labubus.
35
00:01:16,070 --> 00:01:17,160
It's about to happen again.
36
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,070
- [muffled speech]
- Come on!
37
00:01:19,070 --> 00:01:20,470
- And then, believe it or not,
38
00:01:20,550 --> 00:01:23,120
I actually have
Chestnut Cocoa Labubu.
39
00:01:23,210 --> 00:01:25,730
- No way!
That is the rarest one.
40
00:01:25,730 --> 00:01:27,210
- Isn't it so cute?
41
00:01:27,340 --> 00:01:29,910
- So thinking cute!
But it's really rare.
42
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,040
Are you sure
it's not a knockoff?
43
00:01:31,130 --> 00:01:32,130
- Oh, dog, here we go.
44
00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:33,780
- Yeah, I checked.
45
00:01:33,780 --> 00:01:35,920
If anyone's fake, it's probably
yours, you fat bitch.
46
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,610
- Suck it, skank!
- Eat shit!
47
00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:38,790
- Stupid slut!
48
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,530
[screaming, cheering]
49
00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:41,710
- Ahh!
50
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,750
- [screams]
51
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:44,840
- Yeah, yeah!
52
00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:47,190
[blows landing]
53
00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:48,840
- Yeah, yeah!
- Hey!
54
00:01:48,970 --> 00:01:51,240
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
break it up, break it up!
55
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:53,720
- She's rubbing everyone's
noses in her Labubus.
56
00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:57,240
- Both of you to the
counselor's office, now!
57
00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:59,160
- She totally started it!
- I did not.
58
00:01:59,290 --> 00:02:00,720
Shut up. I did not.
59
00:02:00,810 --> 00:02:02,510
- She came up to me
at my locker with her Labubu
60
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,030
and started talking shit.
61
00:02:04,030 --> 00:02:07,080
- You talk shit about
my Labubus every day, whore.
62
00:02:08,380 --> 00:02:09,860
- Um...
63
00:02:09,990 --> 00:02:11,650
yea, love your enemies
64
00:02:11,780 --> 00:02:13,740
and pray for those
who persecute you.
65
00:02:13,820 --> 00:02:16,350
- Tell her to stop saying
my Labubus are knockoffs.
66
00:02:16,350 --> 00:02:19,740
- I-I'm sorry,
what is a Labubu?
67
00:02:19,830 --> 00:02:21,400
- It's a little
monster accessory.
68
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,620
- They come in blind boxes,
69
00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:24,180
so you never know
which one you're gonna get.
70
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,620
- Like, you could just luck out
71
00:02:25,750 --> 00:02:27,580
and get a Time to Chill
Pajama Gold Labubu.
72
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,010
- Oh, my God,
that one is so cute.
73
00:02:29,140 --> 00:02:31,360
- It's so cute, right?
74
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,840
- Uh, all right, ladies,
75
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,630
w-why don't you just
give me the dolls
76
00:02:34,630 --> 00:02:36,190
until the end
of the school day?
77
00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:37,630
both: That's not fair!
78
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:38,980
- Go on out to recess.
79
00:02:39,070 --> 00:02:40,850
You can pick up your Labubus
after school.
80
00:02:40,980 --> 00:02:43,640
- Wow. What kind of counseling
was that?
81
00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:45,640
- I don't know, Jesus sucks, dude.
82
00:02:45,770 --> 00:02:47,990
- Our old counselor
was so much better.
83
00:02:47,990 --> 00:02:50,950
[melancholy music]
84
00:02:56,950 --> 00:03:00,000
[kids screaming]
85
00:03:00,090 --> 00:03:01,440
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
get some more over there.
86
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,050
- This side's starting to fall.
87
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,400
- We are the kings
of the castle!
88
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:05,790
Let us in!
89
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,230
- Hey, Butters.
90
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:10,360
- Oh, well, uh, hey, Red.
91
00:03:10,450 --> 00:03:12,880
- Um, I was just wondering
92
00:03:13,010 --> 00:03:14,410
what you're doing this weekend.
93
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,450
- Who, me?
94
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,890
- Yeah.
95
00:03:20,890 --> 00:03:22,720
Um, I'm having a birthday party
at my house,
96
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:26,850
and I was seeing if maybe
you'd want to come hang out?
97
00:03:28,940 --> 00:03:30,680
- You're talking about me?
98
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,640
- Yeah, I don't know,
it's probably stupid.
99
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,380
I shouldn't have asked.
Never mind.
100
00:03:34,510 --> 00:03:36,210
- No, no, I'd love to come
hang out with you
101
00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:37,250
on your birthday, Red.
102
00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:38,260
- Really? You would?
103
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,260
- Well, sure!
104
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,690
- Okay, that's great.
105
00:03:40,690 --> 00:03:42,130
I'll text you all the details.
106
00:03:42,130 --> 00:03:44,000
- Okay, Red,
I'll see you there.
107
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,610
- Okay, and um,
108
00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:47,350
maybe I'll text you
my birthday wishlist, too,
109
00:03:47,350 --> 00:03:49,090
in case, you know,
you want to get me a present.
110
00:03:49,220 --> 00:03:50,960
- Sure thing!
111
00:03:54,270 --> 00:03:55,710
Oh, my God, you guys,
112
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:57,670
Red wants to hang out with me!
113
00:03:57,670 --> 00:03:59,580
- That's incredible!
114
00:03:59,580 --> 00:04:01,320
- Bro, it seems like
she really likes you.
115
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:03,500
[phone chimes]
116
00:04:03,590 --> 00:04:05,980
BUTTERS: "Really excited
to see you Saturday."
117
00:04:06,070 --> 00:04:07,290
Whoa.
118
00:04:07,420 --> 00:04:09,420
Me and Red.
- Lucky.
119
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:10,770
[notification swooshes]
120
00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:14,510
BUTTERS: "Here is my birthday
gift wishlist."
121
00:04:14,510 --> 00:04:16,250
[notifications swoosh]
122
00:04:16,250 --> 00:04:19,250
"This exact Labubu."
123
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:26,000
Holy shit, you guys,
you know what I think?
124
00:04:26,130 --> 00:04:28,480
I think on Saturday I'm gonna
find out if red-haired girls
125
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,740
have a red bush!
126
00:04:29,740 --> 00:04:31,350
- Wow!
- Wow!
127
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,440
[upbeat music]
128
00:04:33,530 --> 00:04:34,960
- ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
129
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,580
[singing in foreign language]
130
00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:44,450
- Welcome to
City Asian Pop-Up Store.
131
00:04:44,540 --> 00:04:46,980
Can I take a order, please?
132
00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:49,810
- Wait, didn't this place
used to be City Wok?
133
00:04:49,940 --> 00:04:51,980
- Yeah, but whole country
change.
134
00:04:52,110 --> 00:04:52,940
Didn't you hear the news?
135
00:04:53,070 --> 00:04:54,640
Wok is dead.
136
00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:57,250
This City Pop-Up now.
What do you like to have?
137
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,770
We got City Pop-up
key chains,
138
00:04:58,770 --> 00:05:00,160
City cell phone charm,
139
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,910
City anime sculpture.
140
00:05:01,990 --> 00:05:04,210
- Well, actually,
I'm looking for a Labubu.
141
00:05:04,210 --> 00:05:06,480
- Ah, yeah,
everyone love Labubu.
142
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,210
They real hard
to keep in stock.
143
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:10,390
Very expensive
'cause of tariffs.
144
00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:12,050
- You know, uh,
it's really important.
145
00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:13,480
I got this new girlfriend,
146
00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:15,920
and she wants this specific
Labubu for her birthday.
147
00:05:16,010 --> 00:05:18,010
- Oh, that very rare Labubu.
148
00:05:18,010 --> 00:05:20,180
You only find that
in a mystery box.
149
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,710
- Mystery box?
150
00:05:21,790 --> 00:05:23,580
- Hi. Are you guys
still serving food?
151
00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:25,930
- No, no, no, Wok is dead.
Haven't you heard the news?
152
00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:29,370
- Can't I just buy this Labubu?
153
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:30,850
- No, that not the way it work.
154
00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:32,980
You buy mystery box,
you open it,
155
00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:34,590
hopefully you get
the one you want.
156
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:36,370
- Okay, how much
is a mystery box?
157
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:38,330
- $85.
158
00:05:38,330 --> 00:05:39,420
- 85?
159
00:05:39,550 --> 00:05:41,380
- Yeah, you gotta pay tariff.
160
00:05:41,470 --> 00:05:42,810
You think I pay tariff?
No, no, no, no.
161
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,160
You pay tariff.
162
00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:45,600
- Well, okay, I'll take one.
163
00:06:00,050 --> 00:06:02,140
- Yeah, well, Wok is dead,
you stupid bitch!
164
00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:03,490
Stop nagging me!
165
00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:04,880
[package tears]
BUTTERS: Ah, dang it!
166
00:06:05,010 --> 00:06:06,540
This is the wrong one!
167
00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,750
- Oh, yeah, that just
Happiness Labubu.
168
00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:10,190
Very common. Very common.
169
00:06:10,190 --> 00:06:12,060
You try again, $85.
170
00:06:12,060 --> 00:06:14,280
- I have to pay another $85
171
00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:15,980
and I still might not get
the one I want?
172
00:06:16,070 --> 00:06:18,070
- Hey, it's not me,
it's your government.
173
00:06:18,070 --> 00:06:19,370
I don't get fucked by tariff.
174
00:06:19,370 --> 00:06:21,070
You get fucked by tariff.
175
00:06:21,070 --> 00:06:23,900
In China, we call that
hot potato.
176
00:06:24,030 --> 00:06:25,290
[dynamic music]
177
00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:27,290
ANNOUNCER:
You're watching Fox News.
178
00:06:27,290 --> 00:06:29,780
REPORTER: The president
has just returned
179
00:06:29,910 --> 00:06:32,910
from his historic
tariff summit overseas.
180
00:06:32,910 --> 00:06:35,820
There's the president now,
looking handsome as ever.
181
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,740
Oh, and there's
the Prince of Darkness,
182
00:06:37,870 --> 00:06:40,870
who's been traveling with the
president as of late.
183
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,960
The president has made his way
off of Air Force One
184
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,180
and will now speak to
a diverse crowd of reporters.
185
00:06:45,180 --> 00:06:46,920
[reporters clamoring]
186
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,620
- Mr. Pre--Mr. President,
how did the tariff meetings go?
187
00:06:49,620 --> 00:06:51,360
- Ah, they went great, buddy!
188
00:06:51,450 --> 00:06:53,100
[reporters clamoring]
189
00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:55,890
- Mr. President, we're all
dying to know something.
190
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,280
Your wife, Melania, has been
staying in New York
191
00:06:58,280 --> 00:06:59,670
and away from the White House.
192
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:00,940
- That's right!
193
00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:04,110
- Well, what Fox News really
wants to know is
194
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:06,070
are you fucking Satan?
195
00:07:07,330 --> 00:07:09,510
- No! I'm not fucking Satan!
196
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,120
- We're just
sorta hanging out.
197
00:07:12,250 --> 00:07:14,040
- Oh, come on, President Trump.
198
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,560
With everything
you've been doing,
199
00:07:15,690 --> 00:07:18,040
pretty much the whole country
thinks you're fucking Satan now.
200
00:07:18,130 --> 00:07:19,830
- I'm not fucking Satan!
201
00:07:19,910 --> 00:07:22,310
- Can we go, please?
202
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,830
- He is fucking Satan.
203
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,750
- That guy's definitely
fucking Satan.
204
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:29,840
What a stud.
205
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:31,880
- Yeah, Fox News!
206
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:34,360
PC PRINCIPAL:
All right, everyone, listen up,
207
00:07:34,490 --> 00:07:36,150
As you know, there's a lot
being done in the country
208
00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:38,060
to bring Christian values
back to our schools.
209
00:07:38,150 --> 00:07:39,760
Our new school counselor
has some concerns
210
00:07:39,890 --> 00:07:40,760
that I understand
he'd like to voice.
211
00:07:40,890 --> 00:07:41,800
Go ahead, Jesus.
212
00:07:44,110 --> 00:07:46,640
- Well, I'm just a bit confused
213
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,770
about the dramatic rise
in fist fighting
214
00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:50,380
over these Labubus.
215
00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:51,550
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
216
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:52,730
- Oh, the Labubus.
217
00:07:52,860 --> 00:07:54,770
- Kids go nuts for 'em.
218
00:07:54,770 --> 00:07:58,120
- I just don't quite understand
what the fascination is.
219
00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,390
- Well, they're just the new fad
of the month, you know.
220
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,960
- They make them scarce
and hard to find a secret one.
221
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:05,520
- Yeah, and then all the kids
make their Labubu TikToks.
222
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,180
- Labubu TikTok?
223
00:08:07,180 --> 00:08:08,740
- Yeah, the kids make 'em
and they watch 'em.
224
00:08:08,870 --> 00:08:10,180
I can pull one up.
225
00:08:10,180 --> 00:08:12,880
This is Kelly Bronson
from Mrs. Turner's class.
226
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:15,920
- Hey, guys, this is another
Labubu unboxing video!
227
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,190
I got this Labubu online.
228
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:18,490
I'm pretty sure
it's not a Lafufu.
229
00:08:18,490 --> 00:08:19,970
I got the QR code right here.
230
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,970
We're gonna see what we got.
Hope it's a rare one.
231
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:24,150
If it is, I'm absolutely
gonna freak out.
232
00:08:24,150 --> 00:08:26,540
Okay, let's see,
let's see, let's see!
233
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,940
- ♪ Labu ♪
234
00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:30,770
- [screaming]
235
00:08:30,770 --> 00:08:32,120
Oh, my God!
236
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,990
Oh, my God!
237
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,990
Okay, okay,
let's start the ritual.
238
00:08:35,990 --> 00:08:37,160
- ♪ Labubu
239
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,560
♪ Labu-bu
240
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:43,390
♪ La-bula-bula-bu-bu-bu-bu ♪
241
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:46,170
♪ La-bula-bula-bu-bu-bu-bu
242
00:08:46,170 --> 00:08:48,000
♪ Labubu, Labubu
243
00:08:48,130 --> 00:08:50,610
[static droning,
heavy breathing]
244
00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:54,140
- [screaming]
245
00:08:56,010 --> 00:08:57,440
- What the hell was that?
246
00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,970
- That's a Labubu
unboxing TikTok.
247
00:08:59,970 --> 00:09:02,230
- Kids go nuts for 'em.
248
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,800
- But that's, like,
some dark Satanic ritual.
249
00:09:04,930 --> 00:09:06,580
- Oh, yeah, Labubus are demonic.
250
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,020
- Yeah, dark magic.
251
00:09:08,150 --> 00:09:09,670
- I don't know if they come that
way from China,
252
00:09:09,670 --> 00:09:12,240
or the kids are infusing them
with some Sumerian dark entity.
253
00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:13,680
- It's Mesopotamian.
254
00:09:13,810 --> 00:09:15,590
- Got it. So what are your
major concerns, Jesus?
255
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:19,340
- Bro.
256
00:09:19,340 --> 00:09:20,820
That's not normal.
257
00:09:20,950 --> 00:09:22,510
These kids are in trouble.
258
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:25,210
- Yeah, that's why every school
needs a counselor.
259
00:09:25,340 --> 00:09:28,210
[dramatic music]
260
00:09:33,090 --> 00:09:36,090
[upbeat music]
261
00:09:36,220 --> 00:09:38,660
[singing in foreign language]
262
00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:40,750
- Welcome City Pop-Up.
Take order, please.
263
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,660
- I have $88.42 in here.
264
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,230
I need to buy
another mystery box.
265
00:09:45,230 --> 00:09:48,630
- Oh, sorry,
Labubu mystery box $120.
266
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,670
- What?
It was $85!
267
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,500
- Yeah, yeah, tariffs when up!
268
00:09:52,630 --> 00:09:54,630
You never know with tariffs.
They make no sense.
269
00:09:54,630 --> 00:09:55,980
- But that's not fair!
270
00:09:56,070 --> 00:09:58,070
- Yeah, no shit,
tariffs not fair!
271
00:09:58,070 --> 00:10:00,640
- Please, sir, my girlfriend's
party is today,
272
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:02,160
and I have to get
the Labubu she wants.
273
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:03,290
Please!
274
00:10:03,290 --> 00:10:04,340
- It's okay, it's okay.
275
00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:05,900
I have idea.
276
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,120
You want mystery box
for cheap price?
277
00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:10,340
You use claw machine.
278
00:10:10,430 --> 00:10:11,690
You try your luck.
279
00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:13,740
Use claw machine
to get a mystery box,
280
00:10:13,740 --> 00:10:16,870
open it up, hopefully
you get good Labubu you want.
281
00:10:16,870 --> 00:10:17,870
[upbeat music]
282
00:10:17,870 --> 00:10:19,480
- ♪ Labubu
283
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:22,230
♪ Labu-labu-labu
284
00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:24,100
♪ Labubu ♪
285
00:10:24,230 --> 00:10:27,100
♪ Labu-labu-labu-labu ♪
286
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:28,400
MR. KIM: Oh, you so close.
287
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,450
Try again.
288
00:10:29,580 --> 00:10:32,100
- Oh, jeez.
289
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,060
- ♪ Labubu ♪
290
00:10:35,890 --> 00:10:37,540
- Oh, here we go.
291
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,370
I get screwed by tariffs,
so I have to screw the children!
292
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,940
What do you not understand?
293
00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:42,940
- [huffs]
294
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:48,420
- Yeah, well, Wok's not
coming back, bitch!
295
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:49,950
Go wok, go brok!
296
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,650
[machine beeps]
- ♪ Labu ♪
297
00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:55,390
JESUS: Thank you for coming,
Mrs. Paxton, Mrs. Gray.
298
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,560
The reason I called you in today
is because your girls were
299
00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:01,350
in a major altercation
over their Labubus.
300
00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:03,790
- Okay, so what are you gonna
do about it?
301
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,010
- Well, I was hoping
we could work together
302
00:11:06,140 --> 00:11:08,570
to maybe just keep them away
from the Labubus.
303
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,710
- Oh, sure, just take
their Labubus away.
304
00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:12,360
Great counseling.
305
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,970
- Look, I have reason to believe
that the students are using
306
00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:18,190
Labubus for some kind of...
ritual.
307
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,630
- Yeah, but to do that, you have
to have a super rare one.
308
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,940
- They're the only ones
girls can use in dark rituals.
309
00:11:23,070 --> 00:11:25,110
- You know that they're demonic?
310
00:11:25,110 --> 00:11:27,510
- Yeah.
What are we supposed to do?
311
00:11:27,590 --> 00:11:30,080
My daughter sees Kelly Miller
summoning demonic forces
312
00:11:30,210 --> 00:11:33,560
on TikTok, then she wants to be
like Kelly Miller.
313
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,780
- Did Kelly Miller
summon demonic forces?
314
00:11:35,910 --> 00:11:37,600
- I don't know,
she hung herself.
315
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,300
- Well, we should probably keep
the girls off of TikTok.
316
00:11:40,390 --> 00:11:42,170
- Oh, yeah,
just keep 'em off TikTok.
317
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:43,960
That's some clever
counseling there.
318
00:11:44,090 --> 00:11:46,090
- Do you have kids?
- No, I don't.
319
00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:47,790
- Figures.
- Well, when you do,
320
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:49,230
you try and keep 'em off
of TikTok
321
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,100
and out of
the Asian pop-up store.
322
00:11:51,180 --> 00:11:53,970
- Wait,
what is an Asian pop-up store?
323
00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:56,360
- That's where the girls get
all the Labubus.
324
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:57,840
- Where did they find this guy?
325
00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,930
- We told you he was
a crappy counselor
326
00:12:01,890 --> 00:12:04,980
ANNOUNCER:
This is a Fox News Alert!
327
00:12:05,070 --> 00:12:07,980
- As debates
on American tariffs continue,
328
00:12:08,070 --> 00:12:10,460
the question on every
American's mind tonight,
329
00:12:10,590 --> 00:12:13,420
is President Trump
fucking Satan?
330
00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:15,600
The president's been seen less
and less with his wife
331
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,470
and more often with his new pal,
332
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,430
making people
all around the world say,
333
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,820
"Donald Trump has got to be
fucking Satan, for sure."
334
00:12:22,820 --> 00:12:24,960
- Well, for all of us
who are still skeptical
335
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:26,960
that President Trump
is fucking Satan,
336
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,700
Fox News has obtained
some footage
337
00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:31,660
of President Trump seeming
to be fucking Satan.
338
00:12:31,660 --> 00:12:33,360
This was at
a golf course yesterday
339
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,450
where the president was
heroically golfing.
340
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,450
You can just make out Satan
going behind a bush
341
00:12:37,580 --> 00:12:39,140
and President Trump
right there--
342
00:12:39,230 --> 00:12:41,280
he's fucking Satan.
Karen, what do you think?
343
00:12:41,410 --> 00:12:43,800
- I think the president is
definitely fucking Satan,
344
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,930
and I love it.
345
00:12:46,060 --> 00:12:47,670
- Of course, a lot of Americans
still argue
346
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:50,200
there's no way the president
could be fucking Satan.
347
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,200
So we have a body language
expert to show us
348
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,120
just how it is possible.
349
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,160
- Well, if Mr. President Trump
is fucking Satan--
350
00:12:57,250 --> 00:12:58,990
and I'm not saying
if he is or isn't.
351
00:12:58,990 --> 00:13:01,210
I'm just kinda hoping he is--
352
00:13:01,210 --> 00:13:03,860
he mostly likely
is coming in from the back.
353
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,340
Now, Satan has a pretty large
physical presence,
354
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,480
so we're pretty sure President
Trump would have to get on top
355
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:09,830
and--
- Ah!
356
00:13:09,910 --> 00:13:11,480
- Oh, my God, the president
is doing things
357
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:12,610
no other president
has done before.
358
00:13:12,610 --> 00:13:14,350
I love him.
359
00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:16,270
- If you don't think President
Trump is fucking Satan,
360
00:13:16,270 --> 00:13:18,180
this definitely proves
how he could be!
361
00:13:18,270 --> 00:13:21,270
[upbeat music]
362
00:13:21,270 --> 00:13:25,670
[singing in foreign language]
363
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:29,190
[angelic tones]
364
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,200
- Welcome to City Asian
Pop-Up Store.
365
00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:33,760
Take order, please.
366
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,240
- Are you the one that has been
selling all these Labubus
367
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,850
to my students?
368
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,200
- Oh, boy.
369
00:13:39,290 --> 00:13:41,550
Look, it not my fault,
these city prices, okay?
370
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,250
Labubus very expensive.
371
00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:45,470
- Those dolls you are selling
are cursed!
372
00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:47,080
- Yeah, no shit they cursed.
373
00:13:47,170 --> 00:13:49,520
It's called tariff.
You pass it along.
374
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:50,870
I get the curse,
I put the curse on you.
375
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,350
It's like AIDS.
376
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:53,920
BUTTERS: Oh, my God, I got it!
377
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:56,220
I got the super rare!
378
00:13:56,310 --> 00:13:57,960
- Hey, what the hell
you talking about?
379
00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,530
- This is the one
my girlfriend wants!
380
00:13:59,660 --> 00:14:01,570
Now I can take it
to her birthday party!
381
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,710
- My child, put that down,
it's dangerous!
382
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:06,450
- Hey, hey, hold on,
that's super rare Labubu.
383
00:14:06,540 --> 00:14:09,190
That worth, like, $600.
You gotta pay more tariff.
384
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,330
- Oh, my God, will you go away?
385
00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:16,980
- Listen, both of you!
386
00:14:16,980 --> 00:14:19,500
There are more important issues
at hand.
387
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:21,990
My child, you cannot take that
to a birthday party.
388
00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:25,250
- Ah, shit, where he go?
389
00:14:46,620 --> 00:14:48,880
- Satan?
390
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,840
Why are you so sad?
391
00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:56,890
- I wish to be gone
from this place.
392
00:14:56,890 --> 00:14:59,200
- I do not understand.
393
00:14:59,330 --> 00:15:01,160
If you do not want to be here,
394
00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:04,030
then why do you stay?
395
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:08,640
- I am forced to stay
by the dark tides of destiny.
396
00:15:08,770 --> 00:15:13,600
I wanted to leave months ago,
but I cannot
397
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:17,910
because of what's in this box.
398
00:15:19,740 --> 00:15:21,870
- What's in the box?
399
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,880
- The secret none must know,
400
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:28,880
and yet, all will soon discover.
401
00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:32,010
I can feel the tides of change.
402
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:36,020
The final showdown is upon us.
403
00:15:41,110 --> 00:15:44,330
[upbeat music playing]
404
00:15:44,420 --> 00:15:48,590
[indistinct chatter]
405
00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:50,470
[blows landing]
406
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,160
[doorbell rings]
407
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,990
- Happy birthday, Red!
408
00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:58,430
- Butters.
409
00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,910
Wait.
Is that what I think it is?
410
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:04,130
- Well, you'll have to wait till
you open it to find out--
411
00:16:04,220 --> 00:16:05,440
Oh, all right then.
412
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,960
- [screaming]
413
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:12,840
I love you, Butters!
414
00:16:12,970 --> 00:16:15,010
- Wow!
415
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,230
- I got it, you guys!
416
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:17,930
- Oh, wow!
- It's so cool!
417
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,450
- Oh, it's so cute!
418
00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:20,840
- I got the super rare,
419
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,450
all thanks to Butters.
420
00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:24,370
- So are you gonna do it?
421
00:16:24,460 --> 00:16:26,810
- Yeah! We're gonna go upstairs
and do it!
422
00:16:26,810 --> 00:16:28,240
- Whoa! We're gonna what?
423
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,590
- Come up to my room, Butters!
424
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:30,590
- Oh, my God!
425
00:16:32,290 --> 00:16:33,510
- Hey, if anyone wants
to watch us do it,
426
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:34,640
come on up!
427
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,120
- Okay, yeah.
- Great.
428
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,040
- Oh!
This is all really sudden, Red!
429
00:16:38,170 --> 00:16:39,210
Wait!
430
00:16:39,210 --> 00:16:41,520
[engine revving, tires squeal]
431
00:16:42,690 --> 00:16:43,650
[line ringing]
432
00:16:43,650 --> 00:16:46,430
[phone ringing]
433
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,090
- South Park Elementary.
I'm sorry, we're closed.
434
00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:50,480
- Bev! I need to know
which of the students
435
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:52,530
has a birthday today.
436
00:16:52,660 --> 00:16:53,620
- Who is this?
437
00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:55,750
- It's me, Jesus!
438
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:56,880
- Who?
439
00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:58,320
- The school counselor!
440
00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:01,140
- Oh. I don't know who has
a birthday today.
441
00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:03,670
That was actually always
the counselor's job.
442
00:17:03,670 --> 00:17:06,800
- Can you just look it up
in the school records, please?
443
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,060
- Hang on.
444
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,420
Guess I'm doing your job
too now.
445
00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:13,720
- Okay, okay.
Oh, my God.
446
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:15,860
I'm so excited to finally do it.
447
00:17:15,940 --> 00:17:18,900
- Well, yeah, I guess
I'm excited to do it, too, Red.
448
00:17:19,030 --> 00:17:20,730
- Okay, I think we're all ready.
449
00:17:20,730 --> 00:17:22,860
Here, you take a video
of the whole thing.
450
00:17:22,950 --> 00:17:25,170
- Whoa!
Can't we just kiss first?
451
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:28,170
- Hey! What's up, guys?
This is my TikTok Labubu video.
452
00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:30,570
I got the super rare,
so let's see if it works.
453
00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:32,000
- Hey, we want to watch.
454
00:17:32,090 --> 00:17:34,140
- Yeah, come on in, you guys.
455
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,750
[chicken clucking]
456
00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:38,660
[all chanting]
Labubu, Labubu.
457
00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,360
Labubu, Labubu.
458
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,750
- What the heck's going on?
all: Labubu, Labubu.
459
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:44,100
[knife slashing, chicken cries]
- Ah!
460
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:46,060
- [slurping]
- Oh, God!
461
00:17:46,060 --> 00:17:47,450
- [retching]
462
00:17:52,540 --> 00:17:55,240
[electricity sparking]
463
00:17:55,330 --> 00:17:56,940
all: Labubu, Labubu.
464
00:17:57,070 --> 00:18:00,550
Labubu, Labubu.
465
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,680
- Here he comes!
466
00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:05,510
[low groaning]
467
00:18:05,510 --> 00:18:07,170
- Ah!
468
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:09,000
- We call the demonic forces!
469
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,520
Appear before us
at my birthday party!
470
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:12,910
- This is so cool!
471
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,520
- [growling]
472
00:18:15,650 --> 00:18:17,530
- Ta-da!
473
00:18:17,660 --> 00:18:19,570
all: Ew!
474
00:18:19,570 --> 00:18:21,400
- Wait, that thing
is fucking Satan?
475
00:18:21,530 --> 00:18:24,360
- No! I'm not fucking Satan!
476
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,360
[growls]
477
00:18:26,490 --> 00:18:28,580
[screaming]
478
00:18:28,580 --> 00:18:32,060
ANNOUNCER:
This is a Fox News Super Alert!
479
00:18:32,190 --> 00:18:35,330
- We may just have another
Trump and Satan spotting.
480
00:18:35,330 --> 00:18:36,720
The two are rumored to be
481
00:18:36,810 --> 00:18:38,370
in a small mountain town
in the Rockies.
482
00:18:38,370 --> 00:18:40,420
Let's go to
our Colorado affiliate.
483
00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:41,810
[metal scraping, wind blowing]
484
00:18:41,940 --> 00:18:43,120
- Yeah, guys,
there's definitely black clouds
485
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,340
and swarms of locusts here.
486
00:18:45,340 --> 00:18:47,770
Um, probably another
Labubu party.
487
00:18:47,770 --> 00:18:49,430
You know,
whenever there's a Labubu party,
488
00:18:49,430 --> 00:18:51,820
the president and Satan
usually make an appearance.
489
00:18:51,820 --> 00:18:53,210
- We've got our
eye in the sky now.
490
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,740
Guys, what are you seeing?
491
00:18:54,820 --> 00:18:56,610
REPORTER:
Yeah, you can see little girls
492
00:18:56,610 --> 00:18:58,260
running and screaming.
493
00:18:58,390 --> 00:19:00,180
The president just coming out
onto the front lawn--
494
00:19:00,310 --> 00:19:01,830
and yes, there is Satan.
495
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,880
They're definitely
hanging out.
496
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,570
- Come on, let's go!
497
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:09,100
JESUS: Lucifer!
498
00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:11,410
- So...
499
00:19:11,410 --> 00:19:13,800
it is you.
500
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,930
- Just what are you doing,
Satan?
501
00:19:15,930 --> 00:19:17,630
I will know.
502
00:19:17,630 --> 00:19:19,410
[brakes squealing]
503
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:22,420
- Okay, it looks like Jesus
Christ is now on the scene
504
00:19:22,550 --> 00:19:24,810
for some kind of
biblical showdown.
505
00:19:24,810 --> 00:19:27,070
- I have seen your evil at work,
Satan.
506
00:19:27,070 --> 00:19:29,600
I bid you leave this realm
at once.
507
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,820
- You think
I don't want to leave?
508
00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:33,910
I am bound to him!
509
00:19:33,990 --> 00:19:35,820
- Bound to him how?
510
00:19:35,820 --> 00:19:38,560
- All right, fine! Here!
511
00:19:38,650 --> 00:19:41,040
You all want to know the truth?
512
00:19:42,870 --> 00:19:45,270
Yes! We're together!
513
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,400
We've been together for months,
514
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,840
and I want to leave him,
but I can't
515
00:19:50,970 --> 00:19:53,140
because...
516
00:19:53,230 --> 00:19:54,800
I'm pregnant.
517
00:20:03,630 --> 00:20:05,420
- He's pregnant?
518
00:20:05,420 --> 00:20:06,590
- Whoa.
519
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,510
- So now you all know.
520
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,030
I am forced to stay
in this situation
521
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:12,950
for several more years.
522
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:19,520
- Uh, Satan is saying he's been
trapped at the White House
523
00:20:19,650 --> 00:20:21,740
because he's pregnant.
524
00:20:21,870 --> 00:20:23,700
Uh, let's get
our science expert in here
525
00:20:23,830 --> 00:20:26,050
to see if
that's actually possible.
526
00:20:26,130 --> 00:20:29,530
- Yeah, uh, demonic pregnancies
work a little different.
527
00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:32,360
The term is "butt baby."
528
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:33,920
- All right, well,
that seems to be it.
529
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:37,190
Satan is pregnant with the
president's child.
530
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,970
So Fox News can now confirm
531
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:43,110
Donald Trump has been fucking
Satan this whole time.
532
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:44,500
- Yeah!
[cheering]
533
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:45,800
This is a great day
for Fox News.
534
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,110
- Yes, Fox News!
535
00:20:48,110 --> 00:20:49,720
- For all the doubters
who thought Donald Trump
536
00:20:49,850 --> 00:20:51,330
wasn't fucking Satan,
537
00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:52,990
in your face!
538
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:54,860
We're gonna check in now
with Kid Rock.
539
00:20:54,940 --> 00:20:57,340
Kid, you must be overcome
with emotion.
540
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:59,690
- I just--
I just honestly didn't think
541
00:20:59,690 --> 00:21:01,950
the president was fucking Satan,
but
542
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,870
now knowing that he has been
this whole time,
543
00:21:04,950 --> 00:21:07,830
I'm just so happy.
544
00:21:07,830 --> 00:21:11,220
[bell rings]
545
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:13,960
JESUS: Well, I hope you guys
learned a valuable lesson.
546
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,970
If you mess around
and you aren't safe,
547
00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:19,880
it can have really
big consequences.
548
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,280
- Yeah, I'm not having sex
for a long time.
549
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,190
- And I'm done with Labubus.
550
00:21:26,190 --> 00:21:28,540
- Well, that's good,
because as your counselor,
551
00:21:28,540 --> 00:21:30,680
I'm banning Labubus from school.
552
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,370
And TikTok.
And cell phones.
553
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:34,590
Now get back to class.
554
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,250
You both have detention
for two weeks.
555
00:21:36,330 --> 00:21:38,470
- Oh, man!
556
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,730
- Wow, new counselor's
kind of a dick.
557
00:21:40,730 --> 00:21:43,820
- Yeah, but he's better
than the last guy.
558
00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:49,480
- ♪ Labubu
559
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,610
♪ La, labu-labu ♪
560
00:21:54,790 --> 00:21:57,700
[theme music]
39769
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof