All language subtitles for South Park s27e04 Wok is Dead.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,470 --> 00:00:09,398 - ? I'm goin' down to South Park ? 2 00:00:09,399 --> 00:00:11,349 ? Gonna have myself a time 3 00:00:11,350 --> 00:00:12,952 - ? Friendly faces everywhere ? 4 00:00:12,953 --> 00:00:14,815 ? Humble folks without temptation ? 5 00:00:14,816 --> 00:00:16,029 - ? I'm goin' down to South Park ? 6 00:00:16,030 --> 00:00:17,806 ? Gonna leave my woes behind ? 7 00:00:17,807 --> 00:00:19,585 - ? Ample parking day or night ? 8 00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,491 ? People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ? 9 00:00:21,492 --> 00:00:22,704 - ? I'm headin' on down to South Park ? 10 00:00:22,705 --> 00:00:24,707 ? Gonna see if I can't unwind ? 11 00:00:24,829 --> 00:00:27,949 - ? [mumbling] ? 12 00:00:27,950 --> 00:00:29,162 - ? Come on down to South Park ? 13 00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:30,991 ? And meet some friends of mine ? 14 00:00:35,015 --> 00:00:38,235 [twangy guitar music] 15 00:00:38,309 --> 00:00:41,083 - Betsy! Betsy! Guess what? 16 00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:43,032 My dad took me to the Asian pop-up store. 17 00:00:43,033 --> 00:00:44,208 Look what I got. 18 00:00:44,290 --> 00:00:46,553 Serenity Labubu. 19 00:00:46,674 --> 00:00:48,755 - Oh, it's so cute! - Isn't it? 20 00:00:48,756 --> 00:00:50,228 - I was at the Asian pop-up too. 21 00:00:50,229 --> 00:00:51,317 - No way! 22 00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:52,785 - Yeah, look what I got. 23 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,475 The Loyalty Labubu! 24 00:00:54,476 --> 00:00:56,739 - Oh, my God, it's so cute! 25 00:00:56,860 --> 00:00:58,983 - I know, right? - Yeah, I love it. 26 00:00:58,984 --> 00:01:00,935 - Oh, dude, dude, check it out. 27 00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,147 It's about to happen again. 28 00:01:02,148 --> 00:01:03,447 - Ah, shit. 29 00:01:03,448 --> 00:01:05,789 - I actually have Loyalty Labubu already, 30 00:01:05,790 --> 00:01:07,218 and I have a little costume for it. 31 00:01:07,219 --> 00:01:09,439 - That is seriously so cute. 32 00:01:09,559 --> 00:01:11,597 - Kenny, you guys, girls with Labubus. 33 00:01:11,598 --> 00:01:12,810 It's about to happen again. 34 00:01:12,811 --> 00:01:14,717 - [muffled speech] - Come on! 35 00:01:14,718 --> 00:01:16,158 - And then, believe it or not, 36 00:01:16,191 --> 00:01:18,759 I actually have Chestnut Cocoa Labubu. 37 00:01:18,835 --> 00:01:21,348 - No way! That is the rarest one. 38 00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:22,829 - Isn't it so cute? 39 00:01:22,953 --> 00:01:25,510 - So thinking cute! But it's really rare. 40 00:01:25,511 --> 00:01:26,723 Are you sure it's not a knockoff? 41 00:01:26,724 --> 00:01:27,774 - Oh, dog, here we go. 42 00:01:27,851 --> 00:01:29,367 - Yeah, I checked. 43 00:01:29,368 --> 00:01:31,577 If anyone's fake, it's probably yours, you fat bitch. 44 00:01:31,578 --> 00:01:33,189 - Suck it, skank! - Eat shit! 45 00:01:33,311 --> 00:01:34,361 - Stupid slut! 46 00:01:34,482 --> 00:01:36,093 [screaming, cheering] 47 00:01:36,216 --> 00:01:37,266 - Ahh! 48 00:01:37,386 --> 00:01:39,293 - [screams] 49 00:01:39,294 --> 00:01:40,462 - Yeah, yeah! 50 00:01:40,463 --> 00:01:42,727 [blows landing] 51 00:01:42,847 --> 00:01:44,370 - Yeah, yeah! - Hey! 52 00:01:44,494 --> 00:01:46,747 Hey, hey, hey, hey, break it up, break it up! 53 00:01:46,748 --> 00:01:49,229 - She's rubbing everyone's noses in her Labubus. 54 00:01:49,306 --> 00:01:52,729 - Both of you to the counselor's office, now! 55 00:01:52,730 --> 00:01:54,645 - She totally started it! - I did not. 56 00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:56,197 Shut up. I did not. 57 00:01:56,198 --> 00:01:58,060 - She came up to me at my locker with her Labubu 58 00:01:58,061 --> 00:01:59,490 and started talking shit. 59 00:01:59,491 --> 00:02:02,538 - You talk shit about my Labubus every day, whore. 60 00:02:03,826 --> 00:02:05,305 - Um... 61 00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:07,083 yea, love your enemies 62 00:02:07,206 --> 00:02:09,157 and pray for those who persecute you. 63 00:02:09,158 --> 00:02:11,756 - Tell her to stop saying my Labubus are knockoffs. 64 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:15,138 - I-I'm sorry, what is a Labubu? 65 00:02:15,139 --> 00:02:16,785 - It's a little monster accessory. 66 00:02:16,786 --> 00:02:18,100 - They come in blind boxes, 67 00:02:18,101 --> 00:02:19,689 so you never know which one you're gonna get. 68 00:02:19,690 --> 00:02:21,119 - Like, you could just luck out 69 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:22,939 and get a Time to Chill Pajama Gold Labubu. 70 00:02:22,940 --> 00:02:24,500 - Oh, my God, that one is so cute. 71 00:02:24,501 --> 00:02:26,710 - It's so cute, right? 72 00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:28,184 - Uh, all right, ladies, 73 00:02:28,185 --> 00:02:29,960 w-why don't you just give me the dolls 74 00:02:29,961 --> 00:02:31,521 until the end of the school day? 75 00:02:31,522 --> 00:02:32,958 both: That's not fair! 76 00:02:33,083 --> 00:02:34,296 - Go on out to recess. 77 00:02:34,297 --> 00:02:36,288 You can pick up your Labubus after school. 78 00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:38,933 - Wow. What kind of counseling was that? 79 00:02:38,934 --> 00:02:40,936 - I don't know, Jesus sucks, dude. 80 00:02:41,058 --> 00:02:43,267 - Our old counselor was so much better. 81 00:02:43,268 --> 00:02:46,215 [melancholy music] 82 00:02:46,216 --> 00:02:52,091 ? 83 00:02:52,197 --> 00:02:55,231 [kids screaming] 84 00:02:55,232 --> 00:02:56,661 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, get some more over there. 85 00:02:56,662 --> 00:02:58,264 - This side's starting to fall. 86 00:02:58,265 --> 00:02:59,608 - We are the kings of the castle! 87 00:02:59,609 --> 00:03:01,002 Let us in! 88 00:03:01,082 --> 00:03:02,431 - Hey, Butters. 89 00:03:02,556 --> 00:03:05,559 - Oh, well, uh, hey, Red. 90 00:03:05,634 --> 00:03:08,071 - Um, I was just wondering 91 00:03:08,190 --> 00:03:09,750 what you're doing this weekend. 92 00:03:13,392 --> 00:03:14,605 - Who, me? 93 00:03:14,606 --> 00:03:16,035 - Yeah. 94 00:03:16,036 --> 00:03:17,855 Um, I'm having a birthday party at my house, 95 00:03:17,856 --> 00:03:21,990 and I was seeing if maybe you'd want to come hang out? 96 00:03:24,054 --> 00:03:25,787 - You're talking about me? 97 00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:27,738 - Yeah, I don't know, it's probably stupid. 98 00:03:27,739 --> 00:03:29,482 I shouldn't have asked. Never mind. 99 00:03:29,483 --> 00:03:31,292 - No, no, I'd love to come hang out with you 100 00:03:31,293 --> 00:03:32,332 on your birthday, Red. 101 00:03:32,333 --> 00:03:33,329 - Really? You would? 102 00:03:33,330 --> 00:03:34,326 - Well, sure! 103 00:03:34,327 --> 00:03:35,756 - Okay, that's great. 104 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,186 I'll text you all the details. 105 00:03:37,187 --> 00:03:39,050 - Okay, Red, I'll see you there. 106 00:03:39,051 --> 00:03:40,655 - Okay, and um, 107 00:03:40,656 --> 00:03:42,388 maybe I'll text you my birthday wishlist, too, 108 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,252 in case, you know, you want to get me a present. 109 00:03:44,253 --> 00:03:45,993 - Sure thing! 110 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:50,716 Oh, my God, you guys, 111 00:03:50,841 --> 00:03:52,660 Red wants to hang out with me! 112 00:03:52,661 --> 00:03:54,567 - That's incredible! 113 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,431 - Bro, it seems like she really likes you. 114 00:03:56,432 --> 00:03:58,478 [phone chimes] 115 00:03:58,556 --> 00:04:00,966 BUTTERS: "Really excited to see you Saturday." 116 00:04:01,026 --> 00:04:02,245 Whoa. 117 00:04:02,370 --> 00:04:04,372 Me and Red. - Lucky. 118 00:04:04,451 --> 00:04:05,771 [notification swooshes] 119 00:04:05,837 --> 00:04:09,434 BUTTERS: "Here is my birthday gift wishlist." 120 00:04:09,435 --> 00:04:11,168 [notifications swoosh] 121 00:04:11,169 --> 00:04:14,172 "This exact Labubu." 122 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:20,877 Holy shit, you guys, you know what I think? 123 00:04:20,878 --> 00:04:23,347 I think on Saturday I'm gonna find out if red-haired girls 124 00:04:23,348 --> 00:04:24,604 have a red bush! 125 00:04:24,605 --> 00:04:26,216 - Wow! - Wow! 126 00:04:26,339 --> 00:04:28,298 [upbeat music] 127 00:04:28,376 --> 00:04:29,805 - ? Yeah, yeah ? 128 00:04:29,806 --> 00:04:31,416 [singing in foreign language] 129 00:04:31,497 --> 00:04:36,957 ? ? 130 00:04:36,958 --> 00:04:39,265 - Welcome to City Asian Pop-Up Store. 131 00:04:39,342 --> 00:04:41,768 Can I take a order, please? 132 00:04:41,769 --> 00:04:44,598 - Wait, didn't this place used to be City Wok? 133 00:04:44,716 --> 00:04:46,754 - Yeah, but whole country change. 134 00:04:46,755 --> 00:04:47,836 Didn't you hear the news? 135 00:04:47,837 --> 00:04:49,397 Wok is dead. 136 00:04:49,398 --> 00:04:51,998 This City Pop-Up now. What do you like to have? 137 00:04:51,999 --> 00:04:53,514 We got City Pop-up key chains, 138 00:04:53,515 --> 00:04:54,908 City cell phone charm, 139 00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:56,643 City anime sculpture. 140 00:04:56,723 --> 00:04:58,932 - Well, actually, I'm looking for a Labubu. 141 00:04:58,933 --> 00:05:01,197 - Ah, yeah, everyone love Labubu. 142 00:05:01,274 --> 00:05:02,919 They real hard to keep in stock. 143 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,087 Very expensive 'cause of tariffs. 144 00:05:05,088 --> 00:05:06,864 - You know, uh, it's really important. 145 00:05:06,865 --> 00:05:08,180 I got this new girlfriend, 146 00:05:08,181 --> 00:05:10,678 and she wants this specific Labubu for her birthday. 147 00:05:10,679 --> 00:05:12,672 - Oh, that very rare Labubu. 148 00:05:12,673 --> 00:05:14,849 You only find that in a mystery box. 149 00:05:14,971 --> 00:05:16,363 - Mystery box? 150 00:05:16,364 --> 00:05:18,306 - Hi. Are you guys still serving food? 151 00:05:18,307 --> 00:05:20,561 - No, no, no, Wok is dead. Haven't you heard the news? 152 00:05:20,562 --> 00:05:22,208 ? 153 00:05:22,209 --> 00:05:23,985 - Can't I just buy this Labubu? 154 00:05:23,986 --> 00:05:25,466 - No, that not the way it work. 155 00:05:25,589 --> 00:05:27,582 You buy mystery box, you open it, 156 00:05:27,583 --> 00:05:29,316 hopefully you get the one you want. 157 00:05:29,317 --> 00:05:30,963 - Okay, how much is a mystery box? 158 00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,914 - $85. 159 00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:34,003 - 85? 160 00:05:34,128 --> 00:05:35,948 - Yeah, you gotta pay tariff. 161 00:05:35,949 --> 00:05:37,378 You think I pay tariff? No, no, no, no. 162 00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:38,728 You pay tariff. 163 00:05:38,809 --> 00:05:40,159 - Well, okay, I'll take one. 164 00:05:40,283 --> 00:05:43,504 ? ? 165 00:05:52,323 --> 00:05:56,622 - Yeah, well, Wok is dead, you stupid bitch! 166 00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:57,967 Stop nagging me! 167 00:05:57,968 --> 00:05:59,483 [package tears] BUTTERS: Ah, dang it! 168 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,008 This is the wrong one! 169 00:06:01,131 --> 00:06:03,220 - Oh, yeah, that just Happiness Labubu. 170 00:06:03,298 --> 00:06:04,640 Very common. Very common. 171 00:06:04,641 --> 00:06:06,505 You try again, $85. 172 00:06:06,506 --> 00:06:08,715 - I have to pay another $85 173 00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:10,492 and I still might not get the one I want? 174 00:06:10,493 --> 00:06:12,486 - Hey, it's not me, it's your government. 175 00:06:12,487 --> 00:06:13,787 I don't get fucked by tariff. 176 00:06:13,788 --> 00:06:15,477 You get fucked by tariff. 177 00:06:15,478 --> 00:06:18,307 In China, we call that hot potato. 178 00:06:18,425 --> 00:06:19,681 [dynamic music] 179 00:06:19,682 --> 00:06:21,674 ANNOUNCER: You're watching Fox News. 180 00:06:21,675 --> 00:06:24,156 REPORTER: The president has just returned 181 00:06:24,277 --> 00:06:27,266 from his historic tariff summit overseas. 182 00:06:27,267 --> 00:06:30,170 There's the president now, looking handsome as ever. 183 00:06:30,171 --> 00:06:32,207 Oh, and there's the Prince of Darkness, 184 00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:35,199 who's been traveling with the president as of late. 185 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,278 The president has made his way off of Air Force One 186 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:39,489 and will now speak to a diverse crowd of reporters. 187 00:06:39,490 --> 00:06:41,223 [reporters clamoring] 188 00:06:41,224 --> 00:06:43,910 - Mr. Pre-Mr. President, how did the tariff meetings go? 189 00:06:43,911 --> 00:06:45,652 - Ah, they went great, buddy! 190 00:06:45,731 --> 00:06:47,385 [reporters clamoring] 191 00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:50,152 - Mr. President, we're all dying to know something. 192 00:06:50,153 --> 00:06:52,535 Your wife, Melania, has been staying in New York 193 00:06:52,536 --> 00:06:53,923 and away from the White House. 194 00:06:53,924 --> 00:06:55,186 - That's right! 195 00:06:55,310 --> 00:06:58,357 - Well, what Fox News really wants to know is 196 00:06:58,474 --> 00:07:00,302 are you fucking Satan? 197 00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,728 - No! I'm not fucking Satan! 198 00:07:03,849 --> 00:07:06,330 - We're just sorta hanging out. 199 00:07:06,449 --> 00:07:08,227 - Oh, come on, President Trump. 200 00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:09,873 With everything you've been doing, 201 00:07:09,874 --> 00:07:12,300 pretty much the whole country thinks you're fucking Satan now. 202 00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:13,998 - I'm not fucking Satan! 203 00:07:14,078 --> 00:07:16,472 - Can we go, please? 204 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,969 - He is fucking Satan. 205 00:07:20,970 --> 00:07:23,006 - That guy's definitely fucking Satan. 206 00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:24,046 What a stud. 207 00:07:24,047 --> 00:07:25,998 - Yeah, Fox News! 208 00:07:25,999 --> 00:07:28,597 PC PRINCIPAL: All right, everyone, listen up, 209 00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:30,244 As you know, there's a lot being done in the country 210 00:07:30,245 --> 00:07:32,238 to bring Christian values back to our schools. 211 00:07:32,239 --> 00:07:33,972 Our new school counselor has some concerns 212 00:07:33,973 --> 00:07:34,969 that I understand he'd like to voice. 213 00:07:34,970 --> 00:07:36,020 Go ahead, Jesus. 214 00:07:38,177 --> 00:07:40,702 - Well, I'm just a bit confused 215 00:07:40,821 --> 00:07:42,931 about the dramatic rise in fist fighting 216 00:07:42,945 --> 00:07:44,424 over these Labubus. 217 00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:45,598 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah. 218 00:07:45,719 --> 00:07:46,769 - Oh, the Labubus. 219 00:07:46,889 --> 00:07:48,795 - Kids go nuts for 'em. 220 00:07:48,796 --> 00:07:52,132 - I just don't quite understand what the fascination is. 221 00:07:52,133 --> 00:07:54,516 - Well, they're just the new fad of the month, you know. 222 00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:57,030 - They make them scarce and hard to find a secret one. 223 00:07:57,031 --> 00:07:59,501 - Yeah, and then all the kids make their Labubu TikToks. 224 00:07:59,502 --> 00:08:01,148 - Labubu TikTok? 225 00:08:01,149 --> 00:08:02,838 - Yeah, the kids make 'em and they watch 'em. 226 00:08:02,839 --> 00:08:04,139 I can pull one up. 227 00:08:04,140 --> 00:08:06,838 This is Kelly Bronson from Mrs. Turner's class. 228 00:08:06,913 --> 00:08:09,860 - Hey, guys, this is another Labubu unboxing video! 229 00:08:09,861 --> 00:08:11,118 I got this Labubu online. 230 00:08:11,119 --> 00:08:12,418 I'm pretty sure it's not a Lafufu. 231 00:08:12,419 --> 00:08:13,892 I got the QR code right here. 232 00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:16,015 We're gonna see what we got. Hope it's a rare one. 233 00:08:16,016 --> 00:08:18,052 If it is, I'm absolutely gonna freak out. 234 00:08:18,053 --> 00:08:20,447 Okay, let's see, let's see, let's see! 235 00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,820 - ? Labu ? 236 00:08:22,821 --> 00:08:24,640 - [screaming] 237 00:08:24,641 --> 00:08:25,990 Oh, my God! 238 00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:27,855 Oh, my God! 239 00:08:27,979 --> 00:08:29,841 Okay, okay, let's start the ritual. 240 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,011 - ? Labubu 241 00:08:31,012 --> 00:08:34,407 ? Labu-bu 242 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:37,210 ? La-bula-bula-bu-bu-bu-bu ? 243 00:08:37,211 --> 00:08:39,983 ? La-bula-bula-bu-bu-bu-bu 244 00:08:39,984 --> 00:08:41,812 ? Labubu, Labubu 245 00:08:41,935 --> 00:08:44,416 [static droning, heavy breathing] 246 00:08:44,536 --> 00:08:47,931 - [screaming] 247 00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,209 - What the hell was that? 248 00:08:51,210 --> 00:08:53,724 - That's a Labubu unboxing TikTok. 249 00:08:53,725 --> 00:08:55,988 - Kids go nuts for 'em. 250 00:08:56,108 --> 00:08:58,546 - But that's, like, some dark Satanic ritual. 251 00:08:58,666 --> 00:09:00,312 - Oh, yeah, Labubus are demonic. 252 00:09:00,313 --> 00:09:01,743 - Yeah, dark magic. 253 00:09:01,744 --> 00:09:03,389 - I don't know if they come that way from China, 254 00:09:03,390 --> 00:09:06,076 or the kids are infusing them with some Sumerian dark entity. 255 00:09:06,077 --> 00:09:07,383 - It's Mesopotamian. 256 00:09:07,508 --> 00:09:09,918 - Got it. So what are your major concerns, Jesus? 257 00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:13,012 - Bro. 258 00:09:13,013 --> 00:09:14,493 That's not normal. 259 00:09:14,616 --> 00:09:16,183 These kids are in trouble. 260 00:09:16,307 --> 00:09:18,874 - Yeah, that's why every school needs a counselor. 261 00:09:18,994 --> 00:09:21,866 [dramatic music] 262 00:09:21,985 --> 00:09:23,421 ? ? 263 00:09:26,709 --> 00:09:29,712 [upbeat music] 264 00:09:29,829 --> 00:09:32,256 [singing in foreign language] 265 00:09:32,257 --> 00:09:34,367 - Welcome City Pop-Up. Take order, please. 266 00:09:34,424 --> 00:09:37,241 - I have $88.42 in here. 267 00:09:37,242 --> 00:09:38,800 I need to buy another mystery box. 268 00:09:38,801 --> 00:09:42,196 - Oh, sorry, Labubu mystery box $120. 269 00:09:42,313 --> 00:09:44,228 - What? It was $85! 270 00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:46,040 - Yeah, yeah, tariffs when up! 271 00:09:46,041 --> 00:09:48,163 You never know with tariffs. They make no sense. 272 00:09:48,164 --> 00:09:49,513 - But that's not fair! 273 00:09:49,594 --> 00:09:51,587 - Yeah, no shit, tariffs not fair! 274 00:09:51,588 --> 00:09:54,145 - Please, sir, my girlfriend's party is today, 275 00:09:54,146 --> 00:09:55,661 and I have to get the Labubu she wants. 276 00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:56,788 Please! 277 00:09:56,789 --> 00:09:57,869 - It's okay, it's okay. 278 00:09:57,916 --> 00:09:59,396 I have idea. 279 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,609 You want mystery box for cheap price? 280 00:10:01,730 --> 00:10:03,819 You use claw machine. 281 00:10:03,897 --> 00:10:05,154 You try your luck. 282 00:10:05,155 --> 00:10:07,191 Use claw machine to get a mystery box, 283 00:10:07,192 --> 00:10:10,312 open it up, hopefully you get good Labubu you want. 284 00:10:10,313 --> 00:10:11,309 [upbeat music] 285 00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:12,912 - ? Labubu 286 00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:15,655 ? Labu-labu-labu 287 00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:17,515 ? Labubu ? 288 00:10:17,638 --> 00:10:20,497 ? Labu-labu-labu-labu ? 289 00:10:20,498 --> 00:10:21,798 MR. KIM: Oh, you so close. 290 00:10:21,799 --> 00:10:22,849 Try again. 291 00:10:22,969 --> 00:10:25,493 - Oh, jeez. 292 00:10:25,613 --> 00:10:27,441 - ? Labubu ? 293 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:30,900 - Oh, here we go. 294 00:10:30,901 --> 00:10:33,847 I get screwed by tariffs, so I have to screw the children! 295 00:10:33,848 --> 00:10:35,284 What do you not understand? 296 00:10:35,409 --> 00:10:36,459 - [huffs] 297 00:10:37,827 --> 00:10:41,736 - Yeah, well, Wok's not coming back, bitch! 298 00:10:41,737 --> 00:10:43,260 Go wok, go brok! 299 00:10:43,384 --> 00:10:44,951 [machine beeps] - ? Labu ? 300 00:10:45,984 --> 00:10:48,682 JESUS: Thank you for coming, Mrs. Paxton, Mrs. Gray. 301 00:10:48,801 --> 00:10:51,834 The reason I called you in today is because your girls were 302 00:10:51,835 --> 00:10:54,609 in a major altercation over their Labubus. 303 00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:57,047 - Okay, so what are you gonna do about it? 304 00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:59,337 - Well, I was hoping we could work together 305 00:10:59,377 --> 00:11:01,803 to maybe just keep them away from the Labubus. 306 00:11:01,804 --> 00:11:03,927 - Oh, sure, just take their Labubus away. 307 00:11:03,928 --> 00:11:05,574 Great counseling. 308 00:11:05,575 --> 00:11:08,305 - Look, I have reason to believe that the students are using 309 00:11:08,306 --> 00:11:11,384 Labubus for some kind of... ritual. 310 00:11:11,385 --> 00:11:13,940 - Yeah, but to do that, you have to have a super rare one. 311 00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:16,237 - They're the only ones girls can use in dark rituals. 312 00:11:16,238 --> 00:11:18,274 - You know that they're demonic? 313 00:11:18,275 --> 00:11:20,658 - Yeah. What are we supposed to do? 314 00:11:20,659 --> 00:11:23,345 My daughter sees Kelly Miller summoning demonic forces 315 00:11:23,346 --> 00:11:26,683 on TikTok, then she wants to be like Kelly Miller. 316 00:11:26,684 --> 00:11:28,904 - Did Kelly Miller summon demonic forces? 317 00:11:29,024 --> 00:11:30,714 - I don't know, she hung herself. 318 00:11:30,715 --> 00:11:33,488 - Well, we should probably keep the girls off of TikTok. 319 00:11:33,489 --> 00:11:35,291 - Oh, yeah, just keep 'em off TikTok. 320 00:11:35,292 --> 00:11:37,172 That's some clever counseling there. 321 00:11:37,173 --> 00:11:39,175 - Do you have kids? - No, I don't. 322 00:11:39,253 --> 00:11:40,857 - Figures. - Well, when you do, 323 00:11:40,858 --> 00:11:42,416 you try and keep 'em off of TikTok 324 00:11:42,417 --> 00:11:44,158 and out of the Asian pop-up store. 325 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:47,023 - Wait, what is an Asian pop-up store? 326 00:11:47,099 --> 00:11:49,394 - That's where the girls get all the Labubus. 327 00:11:49,395 --> 00:11:50,868 - Where did they find this guy? 328 00:11:50,869 --> 00:11:52,958 - We told you he was a crappy counselor 329 00:11:54,901 --> 00:11:57,991 ANNOUNCER: This is a Fox News Alert! 330 00:11:58,065 --> 00:12:00,981 - As debates on American tariffs continue, 331 00:12:01,055 --> 00:12:03,525 the question on every American's mind tonight, 332 00:12:03,569 --> 00:12:06,385 is President Trump fucking Satan? 333 00:12:06,386 --> 00:12:08,552 The president's been seen less and less with his wife 334 00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:10,417 and more often with his new pal, 335 00:12:10,418 --> 00:12:12,496 making people all around the world say, 336 00:12:12,497 --> 00:12:15,748 "Donald Trump has got to be fucking Satan, for sure." 337 00:12:15,749 --> 00:12:17,871 - Well, for all of us who are still skeptical 338 00:12:17,872 --> 00:12:19,865 that President Trump is fucking Satan, 339 00:12:19,866 --> 00:12:21,676 Fox News has obtained some footage 340 00:12:21,730 --> 00:12:24,546 of President Trump seeming to be fucking Satan. 341 00:12:24,547 --> 00:12:26,323 This was at a golf course yesterday 342 00:12:26,324 --> 00:12:28,447 where the president was heroically golfing. 343 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,440 You can just make out Satan going behind a bush 344 00:12:30,441 --> 00:12:32,088 and President Trump right there- 345 00:12:32,089 --> 00:12:34,255 he's fucking Satan. Karen, what do you think? 346 00:12:34,256 --> 00:12:36,769 - I think the president is definitely fucking Satan, 347 00:12:36,770 --> 00:12:38,764 and I love it. 348 00:12:38,765 --> 00:12:40,626 - Of course, a lot of Americans still argue 349 00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:43,011 there's no way the president could be fucking Satan. 350 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,004 So we have a body language expert to show us 351 00:12:45,005 --> 00:12:46,912 just how it is possible. 352 00:12:46,913 --> 00:12:49,946 - Well, if Mr. President Trump is fucking Satan- 353 00:12:49,947 --> 00:12:51,766 and I'm not saying if he is or isn't. 354 00:12:51,767 --> 00:12:53,977 I'm just kinda hoping he is- 355 00:12:53,978 --> 00:12:56,621 he mostly likely is coming in from the back. 356 00:12:56,622 --> 00:12:59,091 Now, Satan has a pretty large physical presence, 357 00:12:59,092 --> 00:13:01,215 so we're pretty sure President Trump would have to get on top 358 00:13:01,216 --> 00:13:02,559 and- - Ah! 359 00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:04,205 - Oh, my God, the president is doing things 360 00:13:04,206 --> 00:13:05,332 no other president has done before. 361 00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:07,066 I love him. 362 00:13:07,067 --> 00:13:08,973 - If you don't think President Trump is fucking Satan, 363 00:13:08,974 --> 00:13:10,967 this definitely proves how he could be! 364 00:13:10,968 --> 00:13:13,957 [upbeat music] 365 00:13:13,958 --> 00:13:18,354 [singing in foreign language] 366 00:13:18,467 --> 00:13:21,861 [angelic tones] 367 00:13:22,930 --> 00:13:24,845 - Welcome to City Asian Pop-Up Store. 368 00:13:24,924 --> 00:13:26,398 Take order, please. 369 00:13:26,399 --> 00:13:28,868 - Are you the one that has been selling all these Labubus 370 00:13:28,869 --> 00:13:30,471 to my students? 371 00:13:30,472 --> 00:13:31,816 - Oh, boy. 372 00:13:31,817 --> 00:13:34,286 Look, it not my fault, these city prices, okay? 373 00:13:34,287 --> 00:13:35,846 Labubus very expensive. 374 00:13:35,847 --> 00:13:38,056 - Those dolls you are selling are cursed! 375 00:13:38,057 --> 00:13:39,668 - Yeah, no shit they cursed. 376 00:13:39,748 --> 00:13:42,088 It's called tariff. You pass it along. 377 00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:43,562 I get the curse, I put the curse on you. 378 00:13:43,563 --> 00:13:44,912 It's like AIDS. 379 00:13:45,036 --> 00:13:46,476 BUTTERS: Oh, my God, I got it! 380 00:13:46,596 --> 00:13:48,763 I got the super rare! 381 00:13:48,764 --> 00:13:50,496 - Hey, what the hell you talking about? 382 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,186 - This is the one my girlfriend wants! 383 00:13:52,187 --> 00:13:54,169 Now I can take it to her birthday party! 384 00:13:54,170 --> 00:13:56,218 - My child, put that down, it's dangerous! 385 00:13:56,219 --> 00:13:58,961 - Hey, hey, hold on, that's super rare Labubu. 386 00:13:59,036 --> 00:14:01,691 That worth, like, $600. You gotta pay more tariff. 387 00:14:05,797 --> 00:14:07,790 - Oh, my God, will you go away? 388 00:14:07,791 --> 00:14:09,437 - Listen, both of you! 389 00:14:09,438 --> 00:14:11,951 There are more important issues at hand. 390 00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:14,482 My child, you cannot take that to a birthday party. 391 00:14:15,983 --> 00:14:17,680 - Ah, shit, where he go? 392 00:14:38,955 --> 00:14:41,208 - Satan? 393 00:14:41,209 --> 00:14:44,168 Why are you so sad? 394 00:14:44,287 --> 00:14:49,184 - I wish to be gone from this place. 395 00:14:49,185 --> 00:14:51,491 - I do not understand. 396 00:14:51,612 --> 00:14:53,440 If you do not want to be here, 397 00:14:53,562 --> 00:14:56,304 then why do you stay? 398 00:14:56,423 --> 00:15:00,905 - I am forced to stay by the dark tides of destiny. 399 00:15:01,017 --> 00:15:05,827 I wanted to leave months ago, but I cannot 400 00:15:05,828 --> 00:15:10,137 because of what's in this box. 401 00:15:11,939 --> 00:15:14,072 - What's in the box? 402 00:15:14,150 --> 00:15:17,066 - The secret none must know, 403 00:15:17,141 --> 00:15:21,058 and yet, all will soon discover. 404 00:15:21,172 --> 00:15:24,175 I can feel the tides of change. 405 00:15:24,292 --> 00:15:28,166 The final showdown is upon us. 406 00:15:33,222 --> 00:15:36,442 [upbeat music playing] 407 00:15:36,515 --> 00:15:40,693 [indistinct chatter] 408 00:15:40,806 --> 00:15:42,547 [blows landing] 409 00:15:42,670 --> 00:15:44,229 [doorbell rings] 410 00:15:44,230 --> 00:15:46,700 ? 411 00:15:46,701 --> 00:15:49,051 - Happy birthday, Red! 412 00:15:49,172 --> 00:15:50,477 - Butters. 413 00:15:50,602 --> 00:15:52,952 Wait. Is that what I think it is? 414 00:15:53,073 --> 00:15:56,163 - Well, you'll have to wait till you open it to find out- 415 00:15:56,237 --> 00:15:57,449 Oh, all right then. 416 00:15:57,450 --> 00:16:00,397 ? 417 00:16:00,398 --> 00:16:01,965 - [screaming] 418 00:16:03,388 --> 00:16:04,824 I love you, Butters! 419 00:16:04,949 --> 00:16:06,994 - Wow! 420 00:16:07,116 --> 00:16:08,204 - I got it, you guys! 421 00:16:08,329 --> 00:16:09,896 - Oh, wow! - It's so cool! 422 00:16:09,976 --> 00:16:11,405 - Oh, it's so cute! 423 00:16:11,406 --> 00:16:12,799 - I got the super rare, 424 00:16:12,924 --> 00:16:14,403 all thanks to Butters. 425 00:16:14,528 --> 00:16:16,312 - So are you gonna do it? 426 00:16:16,391 --> 00:16:18,730 - Yeah! We're gonna go upstairs and do it! 427 00:16:18,731 --> 00:16:20,161 - Whoa! We're gonna what? 428 00:16:20,162 --> 00:16:21,592 - Come up to my room, Butters! 429 00:16:21,593 --> 00:16:22,631 - Oh, my God! 430 00:16:22,632 --> 00:16:24,192 ? ? 431 00:16:24,193 --> 00:16:25,535 - Hey, if anyone wants to watch us do it, 432 00:16:25,536 --> 00:16:26,532 come on up! 433 00:16:26,533 --> 00:16:28,006 - Okay, yeah. - Great. 434 00:16:28,007 --> 00:16:29,914 - Oh! This is all really sudden, Red! 435 00:16:29,915 --> 00:16:31,083 Wait! 436 00:16:31,084 --> 00:16:33,391 [engine revving, tires squeal] 437 00:16:33,508 --> 00:16:35,504 [line ringing] 438 00:16:35,505 --> 00:16:38,279 [phone ringing] 439 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,923 - South Park Elementary. I'm sorry, we're closed. 440 00:16:40,924 --> 00:16:42,440 - Bev! I need to know which of the students 441 00:16:42,441 --> 00:16:44,348 has a birthday today. 442 00:16:44,349 --> 00:16:45,517 - Who is this? 443 00:16:45,518 --> 00:16:47,563 - It's me, Jesus! 444 00:16:47,641 --> 00:16:48,691 - Who? 445 00:16:48,813 --> 00:16:50,118 - The school counselor! 446 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,929 - Oh. I don't know who has a birthday today. 447 00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:55,442 That was actually always the counselor's job. 448 00:16:55,443 --> 00:16:58,563 - Can you just look it up in the school records, please? 449 00:16:58,564 --> 00:16:59,820 - Hang on. 450 00:16:59,821 --> 00:17:02,171 Guess I'm doing your job too now. 451 00:17:03,376 --> 00:17:05,455 - Okay, okay. Oh, my God. 452 00:17:05,456 --> 00:17:07,588 I'm so excited to finally do it. 453 00:17:07,666 --> 00:17:10,626 - Well, yeah, I guess I'm excited to do it, too, Red. 454 00:17:10,744 --> 00:17:12,433 - Okay, I think we're all ready. 455 00:17:12,434 --> 00:17:14,566 Here, you take a video of the whole thing. 456 00:17:14,644 --> 00:17:16,854 - Whoa! Can't we just kiss first? 457 00:17:16,855 --> 00:17:19,858 - Hey! What's up, guys? This is my TikTok Labubu video. 458 00:17:19,976 --> 00:17:22,239 I got the super rare, so let's see if it works. 459 00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:23,666 - Hey, we want to watch. 460 00:17:23,747 --> 00:17:25,793 - Yeah, come on in, you guys. 461 00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:28,384 [chicken clucking] 462 00:17:28,385 --> 00:17:30,300 [all chanting] Labubu, Labubu. 463 00:17:30,379 --> 00:17:31,981 Labubu, Labubu. 464 00:17:31,982 --> 00:17:34,365 - What the heck's going on? all: Labubu, Labubu. 465 00:17:34,366 --> 00:17:35,709 [knife slashing, chicken cries] - Ah! 466 00:17:35,710 --> 00:17:37,660 - [slurping] - Oh, God! 467 00:17:37,661 --> 00:17:39,053 - [retching] 468 00:17:44,118 --> 00:17:46,817 [electricity sparking] 469 00:17:46,893 --> 00:17:48,503 all: Labubu, Labubu. 470 00:17:48,627 --> 00:17:52,108 Labubu, Labubu. 471 00:17:52,224 --> 00:17:54,217 - Here he comes! 472 00:17:54,218 --> 00:17:57,034 [low groaning] 473 00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:58,689 - Ah! 474 00:17:58,812 --> 00:18:00,509 - We call the demonic forces! 475 00:18:00,632 --> 00:18:03,015 Appear before us at my birthday party! 476 00:18:03,016 --> 00:18:04,408 - This is so cool! 477 00:18:04,533 --> 00:18:07,014 - [growling] 478 00:18:07,133 --> 00:18:09,005 - Ta-da! 479 00:18:09,127 --> 00:18:11,033 all: Ew! 480 00:18:11,034 --> 00:18:12,904 - Wait, that thing is fucking Satan? 481 00:18:12,985 --> 00:18:15,802 - No! I'm not fucking Satan! 482 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:17,805 [growls] 483 00:18:17,926 --> 00:18:20,005 [screaming] 484 00:18:20,006 --> 00:18:23,488 ANNOUNCER: This is a Fox News Super Alert! 485 00:18:23,605 --> 00:18:26,724 - We may just have another Trump and Satan spotting. 486 00:18:26,725 --> 00:18:28,112 The two are rumored to be 487 00:18:28,113 --> 00:18:29,758 in a small mountain town in the Rockies. 488 00:18:29,759 --> 00:18:31,796 Let's go to our Colorado affiliate. 489 00:18:31,797 --> 00:18:33,312 [metal scraping, wind blowing] 490 00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:34,483 - Yeah, guys, there's definitely black clouds 491 00:18:34,484 --> 00:18:36,693 and swarms of locusts here. 492 00:18:36,694 --> 00:18:39,120 Um, probably another Labubu party. 493 00:18:39,121 --> 00:18:40,767 You know, whenever there's a Labubu party, 494 00:18:40,768 --> 00:18:43,151 the president and Satan usually make an appearance. 495 00:18:43,152 --> 00:18:44,668 - We've got our eye in the sky now. 496 00:18:44,669 --> 00:18:46,056 Guys, what are you seeing? 497 00:18:46,057 --> 00:18:47,919 REPORTER: Yeah, you can see little girls 498 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,567 running and screaming. 499 00:18:49,568 --> 00:18:51,603 The president just coming out onto the front lawn- 500 00:18:51,604 --> 00:18:53,127 and yes, there is Satan. 501 00:18:53,251 --> 00:18:55,166 They're definitely hanging out. 502 00:18:55,244 --> 00:18:57,845 - Come on, let's go! 503 00:18:57,846 --> 00:19:00,370 JESUS: Lucifer! 504 00:19:01,487 --> 00:19:02,656 - So... 505 00:19:02,657 --> 00:19:05,039 it is you. 506 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,163 - Just what are you doing, Satan? 507 00:19:07,164 --> 00:19:08,854 I will know. 508 00:19:08,855 --> 00:19:10,640 [brakes squealing] 509 00:19:10,719 --> 00:19:13,635 - Okay, it looks like Jesus Christ is now on the scene 510 00:19:13,752 --> 00:19:16,005 for some kind of biblical showdown. 511 00:19:16,006 --> 00:19:18,259 - I have seen your evil at work, Satan. 512 00:19:18,260 --> 00:19:20,773 I bid you leave this realm at once. 513 00:19:20,774 --> 00:19:22,993 - You think I don't want to leave? 514 00:19:23,115 --> 00:19:25,073 I am bound to him! 515 00:19:25,151 --> 00:19:26,971 - Bound to him how? 516 00:19:26,972 --> 00:19:29,714 - All right, fine! Here! 517 00:19:29,789 --> 00:19:32,183 You all want to know the truth? 518 00:19:33,994 --> 00:19:36,388 Yes! We're together! 519 00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:38,501 We've been together for months, 520 00:19:38,502 --> 00:19:41,940 and I want to leave him, but I can't 521 00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:44,232 because... 522 00:19:44,310 --> 00:19:45,877 I'm pregnant. 523 00:19:54,669 --> 00:19:56,445 - He's pregnant? 524 00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:57,621 - Whoa. 525 00:19:57,703 --> 00:19:59,531 - So now you all know. 526 00:19:59,654 --> 00:20:02,047 I am forced to stay in this situation 527 00:20:02,123 --> 00:20:03,951 for several more years. 528 00:20:07,325 --> 00:20:10,502 - Uh, Satan is saying he's been trapped at the White House 529 00:20:10,619 --> 00:20:12,700 because he's pregnant. 530 00:20:12,701 --> 00:20:14,779 Uh, let's get our science expert in here 531 00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:16,999 to see if that's actually possible. 532 00:20:17,077 --> 00:20:20,472 - Yeah, uh, demonic pregnancies work a little different. 533 00:20:20,588 --> 00:20:23,274 The term is "butt baby." 534 00:20:23,275 --> 00:20:24,835 - All right, well, that seems to be it. 535 00:20:24,836 --> 00:20:28,100 Satan is pregnant with the president's child. 536 00:20:28,173 --> 00:20:30,871 So Fox News can now confirm 537 00:20:30,991 --> 00:20:33,994 Donald Trump has been fucking Satan this whole time. 538 00:20:34,112 --> 00:20:35,368 - Yeah! [cheering] 539 00:20:35,369 --> 00:20:36,667 This is a great day for Fox News. 540 00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:38,965 - Yes, Fox News! 541 00:20:38,966 --> 00:20:40,699 - For all the doubters who thought Donald Trump 542 00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:42,180 wasn't fucking Satan, 543 00:20:42,303 --> 00:20:43,820 in your face! 544 00:20:43,821 --> 00:20:45,770 We're gonna check in now with Kid Rock. 545 00:20:45,771 --> 00:20:48,154 Kid, you must be overcome with emotion. 546 00:20:48,155 --> 00:20:50,494 - I just- I just honestly didn't think 547 00:20:50,495 --> 00:20:52,758 the president was fucking Satan, but 548 00:20:52,879 --> 00:20:55,665 now knowing that he has been this whole time, 549 00:20:55,740 --> 00:20:58,599 I'm just so happy. 550 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,981 [bell rings] 551 00:21:01,982 --> 00:21:04,711 JESUS: Well, I hope you guys learned a valuable lesson. 552 00:21:04,712 --> 00:21:07,715 If you mess around and you aren't safe, 553 00:21:07,832 --> 00:21:10,618 it can have really big consequences. 554 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,984 - Yeah, I'm not having sex for a long time. 555 00:21:14,985 --> 00:21:16,890 - And I'm done with Labubus. 556 00:21:16,891 --> 00:21:19,231 - Well, that's good, because as your counselor, 557 00:21:19,232 --> 00:21:21,364 I'm banning Labubus from school. 558 00:21:21,442 --> 00:21:24,054 And TikTok. And cell phones. 559 00:21:24,173 --> 00:21:25,256 Now get back to class. 560 00:21:25,257 --> 00:21:26,989 You both have detention for two weeks. 561 00:21:26,990 --> 00:21:29,123 - Oh, man! 562 00:21:29,244 --> 00:21:31,367 - Wow, new counselor's kind of a dick. 563 00:21:31,368 --> 00:21:34,458 - Yeah, but he's better than the last guy. 564 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,089 - ? Labubu 565 00:21:45,396 --> 00:21:47,441 ? La, labu-labu ? 566 00:21:47,442 --> 00:21:50,358 [theme music] 567 00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:57,236 ? ? 568 00:21:57,237 --> 00:22:01,787 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40050

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