Original subtitles

Michoacan es mejor.

- Oh yeah.

Oh yo.

We set it off live like a four five cocked back

and that's a fact.

And we ain't afraid to let it blam,

especially if it's over my Lufthansa fam.

Why would we ever let a hater win?

We trying to eat like Platinum Plate Catering.

separate the boys from the men.

jewels is how we let them in.

We doing it all day in all ways.

Give us more praise.

Let me grab this spray.

Man.

Hello?

Yeah, man. Yeah, I'm at the location.

What you mean?

I've been here, I've been here for a while.

Wrong location? Man, let me check.

Stop yelling at me, man.

Stop it. Okay?

It says I'm supposed, see that's the problem.

It's in Spanish, man.

Ah

I got the wrong date.

All right, man.

Hello?

Is anybody here?

Oh shit.

What the fuck?

I'm telling you guys,

based on the sheer number of disappearances,

this place definitely gonna go viral.

The backstory alone will have a huge draw.

Just imagine, the real life Steamboat Willy

as a serial killer

whose ghost still haunts his family's abandoned property.

God, we're in a gold mine.

Yeah, thanks for the tip.

Yeah, it's our pleasure.

Wait, so who is this Steamboat Willie?

I thought it was like Mouse Boy or something.

No, Mouse Boy is just what the locals call him.

Steamboat Willie is the first character

ever played by Mickey Mouse, in 1928.

Also the first appearance of Minerva Mouse.

Minnie.

You guys are lucky.

We were gonna head over to Bermuda.

We were gonna do an episode on the local witch doctor,

which I think it's a total hoax,

but we had a nice place right in the beach.

With cocktails.

Fresh seafood.

80 degree weather.

Babes in bikinis.

Okay, we get it, we get it.

So then why did you come?

Rule number one, always follow the best story.

And the haunting of Steamboat Willie

is by far the best story.

Yeah.

After you sent that tabloid article, I did some research.

Since 1943, 27 people got missing

in the exact same place where that famous mouse boy

who inspired Steamboat Willie allegedly died in a fire.

Yeah, they called him Mouse Boy.

Apparently that little freak was born

half human, half mouse.

Total freak show.

Hey, listen. Okay, he didn't choose to look like that.

He was just a kid.

Well, sorry. He was an abnormal looking person.

Do you think the spirit of this mouse boy

is still around there or something?

He had a name.

Well, I don't know his name.

It was a Willie.

Technically it was William.

William Cross, son of Lugo and Domingo Cross.

Cross means curly hair.

- What? - Nothing.

Guys, that tabloid is the first evidence

of paranormal activity happening at the abandoned property.

And even if the kid did survive the fire,

I mean, I doubt he would still be living there.

Can you imagine?

He would be like, I don't know, 97 years old.

Guys, if it really is Willie,

or the spirit of Willie or whatever,

then his age wouldn't matter.

What do you mean?

Pure evil never dies.

- Girl. - That's a good one, Nora.

Yeah, very creepy though.

But we're definitely gonna use that.

I don't know, maybe we shouldn't be doing this.

Oh, I understand, you're scared.

Don't worry.

We were scared when we first started out.

This shit is creepy.

But the more you do it, the more that you realize something.

Everything, almost everything is in your head.

Guys look, we thoroughly researched this place.

Nothing's gonna happen to you.

We're gonna be safe.

All right.

So, is it gonna be weird if I hook up with Daniel?

What?

No, I told you I'm over it.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

And what is he like?

Does he have a big cock?

Honestly

I don't even remember.

He was that boring.

Well

I'm gonna fuck that dick.

Guys, I'm really creeped out.

I don't know if I want to do this.

My God Nora, it's gonna be fine.

You're just being a baby right now.

Don't worry.

We've done this a million times.

The worst that would happen is we have to run from the cops.

I just have a bad feeling, I don't know.

Nora, come on.

Do you actually think

I would take you anywhere to get hurt?

Nora?

No, okay.

Just relax. You're safe with us.

I know I'm safe.

Look, if after a few hours nothing happens

and you still feel weird about it, we'll leave.

Deal?

Okay, deal.

Good. Let's conjure some ghosts.

So, what exactly are we looking for?

Basically

we need a good place with several strategies.

Hey, there's espresso machine back here.

Oh yeah. It's gonna be a fun night.

Fuck off.

Shh.

If there's any security around here,

we don't want to give ourselves away,

so please, just try to be quiet.

Yeah, and put your phones on silent.

That's how I fucked up last time.

Phones started ringing.

Ring tone, barking dog.

Did you get caught?

Nah,

it was my mom.

She just wanted to know

if I still wanted some stuff from the attic.

Oh yeah? Like what, your record collection?

No, it was like comic books and Pokemon cards.

Just bullshit.

Pokemon cards? I didn't know you were into Pokemon.

Look, it was like 10 years ago.

Everybody was into Pokemon cards, right?

Well, not everybody.

I wasn't into Pokemon.

Bullshit, you used to come over all the time and play it.

It wasn't Pokemon. We used to play with Jenga.

Well, I loved Pokemon.

I don't even care who knows that.

Oh my God, you're all nerds. Jesus.

No no no no!

God, you fucker.

Jesus Christ.

If there's any security around

he definitely knows we're here now.

Holy. What the fuck?

I am so sorry.

That's so gross.

Yeah, I'm aware, it's on my face.

Here.

Oh God, I can smell.

So gross.

Amazing shot though.

Fuck you guys.

That's so gross.

What was that?

I thought I heard something.

Like?

There.

Did you hear that?

Like feet dragging.

Yeah. Okay.

You guys stay here.

We're gonna go check it out.

No fucking way. That's why we're here.

Okay Jess, please, stay here.

I promise, I won't let you miss any cool stuff.

Let's go.

Shit.

Oh yeah.

Oh God.

Who did it?

There is this fucked up looking guy back there.

He's face all messed up.

Exactly, like half of his face is missing.

Half of his face?

Maybe, way scarier than a ghost.

- Yeah, we gotta go. - No, wait.

You saw a guy with a fucked up face

and you're afraid of him?

No, he's probably homeless.

He's been rejected by society

and now he's gonna get kicked out of this place too.

Okay. So yeah, half a face, maybe, right?

Do you think anyone's gonna hire a guy with half a face?

No, okay?

He was probably scared of you.

Did you think of that?

I mean, why else would he be hiding?

Because who wants to kill us

and play with our blood, probably.

I'm being serious.

Okay, did he say anything?

Well, he was just like.

Something like that, but in a scarier voice.

Oh yay?

Yes. That.

So he wanted you to run away?

And that's what we need to do. Let's go.

No, wait.

Okay, you flew all the way down here

and you're gonna let a scared homeless man run you off?

Yes.

No. Okay, no.

The Daniel I know would come up with a plan to salvage this

and make it the best episode he's ever shot.

Damn girl. You make them look like pussies.

Hey, where the fuck are you going?

Hello?

Are you still here?

No one's gonna hurt you.

Okay, so this is what.

Where's Nora?

Off looking for the freak.

What?

She's always had a soft spot for rescues.

Hey.

Shit. Did you find him?

No. Probably got spooked and he's just hiding somewhere.

Well, good. Hopefully we don't run into him anymore.

So, what's the plan?

So I grabbed Nico just as soon as these cops saw us

jump up the fence with their guns drawn.

Yeah, we didn't realize they was school security.

Apparently someone reported us,

because we were all in black with masks and backpacks.

Apparently these fuckers thought

we were gonna shoot at them.

Holy shit. What did you do?

We showed 'em the footage and I was like,

"Hey, calm down, we're just YouTubers.

We're here to film an episode

in the abandoned hospital next door. "

We were like,

"Hey guys, look at the videos, look at the videos. "

But they just keep yelling at us.

They're like, oh, we fucking got you guys,

you're fucking dead.

No way.

It gets crazier.

Now, the real cops show up.

Did they arrest you?

No, no, no, no.

I showed 'em footage and we're like, calm down, calm down.

They're like, well get the outta here.

You shouldn't be here.

I was like, right on, let's go.

That's crazy.

I think I would just piss my pants or something.

Actually.

So

what happened between you two?

Why did you break up?

Well.

I mean it wasn't really like a big thing.

Yeah, plus Nora stayed in Mexico City

and Nico and I, we moved to LA.

Yeah, I mean at that point

it's not like we could have had like a real relationship.

Yeah, we're better off as friends.

Exactly.

I see.

Well

Jess?

Have you ever seen a ghost or something?

Because you look like a girl

who likes to play with a Ouija board.

Yeah.

I had a friend when I was like 11,

who lived in this old house,

and there was an apartment in the attic

where some old lady died.

One night we were having a sleepover

and we decided to conjure her spirit.

So we made Ouija board and took some candles upstairs

and we made some questions.

So my last question was,

if your spirit is still here, can you give us a sign?

Nothing happened,

until, until we blew out the candles

and packed up the board.

Right then I suddenly feel so nauseous,

like I just couldn't breathe.

I don't know what was going on.

And I ran those stairs like so quickly

and half the way down

I started vomiting like crazy, I just couldn't stop.

I don't know what was going on.

I love that shit.

That's why we do this.

There's this whole other reality outside our own

where these energies live.

So if we can just bridge the gap, we can make connection.

I had an encounter.

And? What happened?

It started when I was eight.

It started?

You mean still happens?

Do you see dead people?

Yeah, I think I've seen that movie.

It's not a joke, okay? And he's not dead.

He? Who the fuck is he?

Willie.

Oh, fuck off.

Okay. Nora, that's not fucking funny.

I saw him.

Okay?

I was eight.

My family drove up here on vacation

and we passed this place on our way to a gas station.

I don't know why, but

I felt

like this magnetic pull.

I screamed and cried until

I made my dad promise to stop here.

And as soon as he parked the car,

I just opened the door and ran.

I didn't know where I was going but

but it felt like something was calling me.

And then I stopped

and listened

and I heard it.

What did you hear?

It was music.

Wagner's Ritt der WalkA?ren.

I followed the music to an outbuilding and

something told me to go inside.

And that's when I saw it.

A large round black ear

sticking out from behind a chair.

Slowly, he turned towards me.

He was wearing some kind of homemade mask, but

I could see his eyes.

They were dark and deep

and had like a silvery sheen to them.

Almost, almost like the moon

reflecting off the ocean at night.

We just stared at each other for a moment

and then he turned back around.

Ever since then

I can feel him.

It's almost, it's almost like he imprinted on me.

Nora, you sound fucking crazy. You know that, right?

Are you just fucking with us right now?

I guess we'll never know.

Of course we know. That's bullshit.

Can you imagine you grow up and end up marrying Willie

and live in this like dope ass resort

where you just murder.

Oh my God.

Oh yeah, maybe like Nora and Willie

sitting in a tree, K- I-L-L-I-N-G.

I mean, listen, I don't know.

I think it's kind of romantic.

If I were to fall in love with someone

and then find out that they were a killer

I think I would stay with them.

What? Are you fucking kidding me?

I would be out of there.

He would probably end up killing you eventually.

Well, I mean, if I truly loved him,

I think I would be okay with that.

Oh my.

You sound fucking crazy right now.

You do know that.

I don't think so.

I mean, I think I would risk everything for true love.

Okay, girl, that's a fucking red flag right there.

That's crazy.

Whatever.

I'll be happily in love with my monster

while you're all just pretending

in your miserable, safe relationships.

Now I gotta find a place to squat.

All righty, crazy pants.

Just don't follow the music.

Hello?

Hey, it's okay, we're not gonna hurt you.

As the knocks grew louder,

the young mother reached out for the door handle,

and just when she was about to grasp with her bloody hand.

Hey.

Holy shit, Nora.

Nora.

I found something.

Holy shit.

That's a lot of blood.

So much.

I thought exterminators' vans had a bunch of traps and shit.

Where did everything go?

I don't know.

Maybe they stole it,

cleared out all the gear and just dumped it here.

Right, because rat traps are in such high demand

on the black market these days.

I don't know, maybe.

Come check this out.

Do you think Willie got him?

Highly unlikely.

If he's still alive,

he would be like 90-something, and this guy, and his size.

I doubt he got to him.

I told you pure evil exists outside of time.

Come on Nora.

Guys, listen, there's blood all over the van.

Obviously something bad happened to this.

Okay, okay. Let's not ever react.

Of course this is fucking piece of shit,

but there's always a logical explanation.

Yeah. Look, this is an extermination van.

So that blood probably belonged to some animal

that got loose back there.

Yeah, that's way better than thinking

some type of phantom is committing murder.

Okay, so then where is this guy

and why is his wallet there?

This is a work order.

He's supposed to be here tomorrow.

So why was he here?

I think we should look for him.

What? No, no, no, no, no.

What the fuck, Nora?

No, we're not gonna go look for him.

Guys, okay listen, imagine this guy

was held captive in his own van and then driven here,

and then his body was dumped in the woods

left to bleed to death.

And what the fuck are we gonna do about it?

We don't know this guy.

He's probably dead and decomposing right now.

What if it was you?

Wouldn't you want someone to look for you?

Like, at least to give your family closure or something.

Why don't we just call the cops, please.

No, Jess, we can't do that.

We would be arrested.

Trespassing?

We've been there.

No, no. Come on.

Fuck it, let's search the property.

Yes.

We can make a video out of it.

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fuck it, okay. Let's do it.

Finding a dead body on camera will definitely go viral.

Okay, great.

In that case,

I think we should split up to cover more ground.

I'll go with Daniel.

All right. Guess you're with me.

Okay, whatever. Let's go.

Right.

Jess is a pro now.

Nora, wait for me.

Probably birds.

Probably.

So, is this what you expect it to be?

- What do you mean? - Exploring haunted houses?

Honestly, I kind of thought it would be scarier.

Not that like bloody vans and

squatters and shit isn't scary.

I just thought there would be

like more ghost whispers

and like goosebumps or something.

Oh, well if you want some goosebumps,

I can give it a shot.

- Really? - Yeah.

And how would you do that?

I don't know.

Maybe something like this.

Oh, so that's what you two little fuckers do,

bring pretty girls to haunted forests

and try to take advantage of them?

No, no, not this.

Not that you're taking advantage of me.

I'm a big girl.

And I don't scare that easily

but you'll have to earn it.

And how do you suggest that.

Sweet little Nico.

You don't want to know what it would take to earn it.

Nora?

Nora, where are you?

Little Nico?

Oh shit,

Keep up.

You think we should be looking for dead bodies?

I think you should be exploring

this very much alive body.

How this mother shit is. Can I turn you?

The fuck. No, what do you mean?

You're not gonna turn out as freaky as Nora, are you?

The fuck are you talking about?

Nora's as missionary as they come.

Just forget it. I shouldn't say anything.

No, no. Please tell me.

I mean, I've known her half my life,

and she has never mentioned any sexual fantasy or something.

Just, it's not my place, okay? Come on.

Can you please stop this whole gentleman act?

I mean, we're fucking adults.

What about Nora was freaky?

Look, Nora, she's just into some really weird shit.

Oh yeah? Like what?

What could possibly be that weird?

I mean, you chase ghosts for a living, don't you?

She likes it when I wear a mickey mask, okay?

A mickey mask.

Really, is that it?

She also likes it when I tie her up, when I beat her,

when I pour hot wax on her,

when I sew her fucking belly button,

just into some really weird shit.

Holy shit.

That's why I didn't want to tell you.

Wow.

That is both disturbing and very impressive.

Actually, I just didn't know she had it in her.

I think it just goes to show

that you never really know anybody.

I just got freaked out.

Did you hear that?

Yes.

What was that?

Who the fuck cares?

No.

Go see.

It's probably you go pee a dick

Go make sure.

What?

Go make sure it's not the fucking homeless guy.

Damn it, Jess.

Fucking Nico.

Okay look, I'm gonna go check it out. Don't move.

I'll be back, all right?

Nico

where are you?

You're being a huge cock block.

Where'd you go, fucker?

Just wait until I find you.

Where are you?

Got you, bitch.

I can't hurt you or anything.

What are you doing?

Get help, man. What?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Get get my friends, please.

What are you doing?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Please, please, please get help.

Get help, please.

Where are you?

No, what are you doing?

Wait, wait, please.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Who are you?

I can't move. I can't move.

No, no, no, no.

Daniel?

Oh boy.

The fuck was that?

Sounded like Jess.

Should we check on them?

Yeah.

And then can we please get the fuck out of here?

- Yeah - I'm gonna call Daniel.

What's he you saying?

Wait, he wants us to leave.

What are you saying?

Just let me talk to him.

What the fuck was that?

I don't know, I think the guy's

like schizophrenic or some shit.

Why he showing you his arm?

No, he was showing me his burn scars.

But he said something.

Stop it Nico, okay.

We gotta go find Jess.

The fuck is going on?

You know what, I'm gonna go check over there.

You stay here.

No no, wait.

Just stay here, okay?

In case they come back. I'll be right back.

I'll yell if I find anything.

Nora?

Nora?

What?

Did you find anything?

No,

nothing.

We should keep looking.

This place is fucking creepy.

Call Daniel.

Shit, Daniel.

What are you gonna do?

Why?

Why are you doing this?

Help me!

Help me!

No!

Oh my.

Get off me.

Nora?

Nora, we gotta go.

Right now.

Okay?

This is where you do your preparation, okay?

Nora, we only came to video, okay?

We don't fucking want to get hurt.

I'm not leaving without Jess.

But damn it Nora, we can't help Jess, okay?

Or Daniel, we gotta fucking leave now.

Okay?

I'm not leaving without Jess.

Fuck it, I'm calling the cops.

Hi

we are at this abandoned resort in Los Azufres.

I don't know the address.

Just please send someone.

There's a monster slashing my friends

and you just need to come.

What the fuck is going wrong with you?

You're fucking insane.

Fucking bitch.

Stupid bitch. Where the fuck is Daniel?

Where the fuck is Jess?

Where the fuck is everyone? Ugh.

Why the fuck is this happening to me? Ugh.

Shit.

Fuck me.

Shit.

Shit, shit.

Shit.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Where the are the fucking keys?

Fuck it, Daniel.

Fuck, fuck.

Fuck.

What the fuck?

No.

No, no.

Fuck.

No.

No no no.

Help us!

Jess!

Fuck fuck fuck.

Come on, Nora, please.

Come on, please help us get out of here, please.

Sorry to tell you, Nico

but you're not gonna make it out of this episode alive.

What?

Help please, stop it.

I waited a long time for this moment.

Did you miss me?

I learned German for you.

I can feel you.

You know

ever since I first looked into your beautiful eyes

I've been able to feel you.

You've been with me since I was a little girl.

But I'm not a little girl anymore.

Gentle now.

I would never hurt you.

The world has done enough of that.

I'm here to love you.

We have work to finish.

Nico, please help me, hurry up.

Hurry up, please.

Where is Daniel?

I'm pretty sure I heard his voice.

Pretty close.

Let's, let's go get help.

No, no, no, no.

You're gonna stay here, okay?

No, I'm not gonna stay here.

Let's go.

Please calm down.

Just listen to me.

I'm coming back, okay?

Calm down, okay?

We are gonna be back for you, okay?

I'm coming back, I promise.

Fuck.

Daniel, shit.

Fuck.

What the fuck, bro.

Don't worry. I gonna get some help, okay.

Jess is in trouble.

Oh please.

Jess, Jess.

Please.

We're so sorry, Daniel.

Please help me.

You were never really my type.

Oh God.

No.

What the fuck?

Look at you.

You're pathetic.

For the first time in your life,

you're confronted with something

truly and purely horrifying,

and all you can do is bitch and moan.

He cut off my leg.

Do you know how fucking lucky you are?

I don't wanna die.

Oh my God, Nico, everyone dies, okay?

It's inevitable.

Stop being such a baby.

Your life is a lie.

You wear your black clothes

and your black lipstick

and you fantasize about monstrous villains.

But I

I have devoted myself

to one true darkness.

Please, you are my best friend.

All good things must come to an end.

Help me.

Wake up, Jessie.

Hi.

Nora.

Nora, please just let me go, please.

I swear I won't say anything.

I'll say I got in an accident.

Please just let me go.

Think about my mother.

Your mother's a cunt.

Listen Jess, okay I'll be quick, I promise.

After all

this isn't my first time.

Please don't.

Nico,

did you just piss yourself?

Oh, Nico.

Sweet Nico, I thought you lived for this kind of stuff.

No?

Always searching for something else,

something beyond our knowledge of existence.

And now,

that you're in its presence

all you can do

is cry and piss yourself.

God, please, Nora, no, no, no.

I told you

pure evil never dies.

Please, no, no. Please don't do nothing to baby.

No, no, please.

No, please, no, no. God, no.

Just let me go, please, please.

I don't want to die.

Please.

Please!

Hello, Willie.

How do I shut him up without making a mess?

No, no, no. Don't stop, huh?

Don't stop.

What are you doing?

Don't, don't stop here.

Please, I need help.

It's my husband,

I think he's having a heart attack or something

and I can't drive.

There's no phone signal here.

He's right over there.

Please just drive up. Please.

- I'm coming, I'm coming. - Thank you.

Right there.

Yeah, please hurry.

Mama.

Mama!

Mama!

Honey, wait.

- Mama! - Honey, please.