Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

CARMEN: Okay. Fourth and final hole.

Closest to the library door without hitting it.

Franklin and Bash are away.

Franklin and Bash is away. We're a team.

Oh, yeah? They didn't do it like that at my country club.

Go.

Go. Sweep. Sweep.

Sweep. Sweep. Sweep.

Hold. Sweep. Oh. Uh--

-Stanton. Hi. -PETER: Heh. Sorry.

-You know what? We were just-- -Don't bother.

Duncan Morrow. His daughter, Eileen.

Pleasure. Peter Bash.

Sports-memorabilia people? We've been expecting you.

Did you know, by the way, the best sports literature

works in direct relation to the size of the ball?

For instance, the smaller the ball,

the better the book. Golf in the Kingdom.

-Did not know that. -News to me.

Well, now you do.

-Seriously, he needs an MRI. -Yeah, I know.

-Our office. -Yeah. Thank you.

EILEEN: Um, leather is the perfect medium.

They say fingerprints can last up to 50 years on a baseball.

"Ron Hassey, Dennis Eckersley,

Doug Harvey."

From 1988.

Wait a minute. This can't be--

This was never found.

Because I had it.

If that's the Kirk Gibson home-run ball,

-I'll have to lock that door. -It's Gibson's home-run ball.

-No way. -DUNCAN: Yeah.

-No way. I was at that game. -Oh, yeah?

-Yeah. Greatest home run ever. -Okay.

It landed five rows behind me and ended up at my feet.

You never showed it to anybody?

Well, I kind of liked the legend of the missing ball.

I had it authenticated for my father's 65th birthday.

Aw, wasn't that sweet of her?

Ugh. No. It turned out to be a huge mistake.

My brothers were at the game with him.

And they're saying they caught the ball.

They're suing me for the ball.

They wanna sell it.

-What? Why? -Yeah.

It's got to be worth three, four hundred grand easy, right?

A fool knows the price of everything and the value

of nothing.

That's beautiful.

Mr. Morrow,

we're gonna get this ball the respect it deserves.

[PETE'S "MIXTURE" PLAYING]

♪ Ooh, what a mixture ♪

♪ Such a vivid picture ♪

♪ Ooh, what a mixture ♪

♪ If I must say so myself ♪

So, Colin, is there ever a bad time to buy a house?

-Uh... -When my brother's the agent.

-He couldn't close a suitcase. -I closed Ann Rushing.

Yeah, to get back at me after I dumped her.

You were better off with Shelley.

-Shelley? -What do you guys want?

You've begun court proceedings with your attorney for the ball,

but your father and sister suggested we have a casual chat.

Maybe see if we can sort this out.

Listening. Go.

The law became clear during the fight for Barry Bonds' ball.

I realize saying Bonds' name

in the same sentence as Kirk Gibson, sacrilege, uncool.

Barry Bonds?

Giant.

Archrival.

Okay, um, a ball hit out of the field of play

is owned by the first person who picks it up.

Exact possession is nine-tenths of the law.

But we possess the ball.

It's our ball. We picked it up.

"We"? Together?

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Colin helped me

pick it up.

Heh, heh. You're actually gonna--?

You know what? I wish we could come to an agreement.

I really do.

But we'll just see what happens in court.

Alright? Okay. Thanks for your time.

[♪♪♪]

Thought that went well.

-PETER: What was that about? -Their lawyer's incompetent.

-Clearly. -I was hoping for a settlement,

but with this guy, we would win possession.

It's like I'm facing batting-practice pitching here.

See, I hate when you get like this.

-Like what? -All cocky.

I'm always cocky. It's an irritating asset.

-Works well for me. -Oh, yeah?

-Yeah. -Buffalo.

Peter, don't.

That's like reminding a batter about a pitcher

who once plunked him.

You are liberal with the analogies.

It's a case about a baseball.

I like my metaphors to reflect the case I'm working on.

-No, you don't. -I do now.

-Buffalo, New York. -Seriously, shut up.

Your junior high could have won the academic decathlon.

Except you skipped a review session

and said Buffalo was the state capital of New York.

-Used to be. -To use one of your analogies,

you took a fast ball down the middle for strike three.

-I did not. -Listen to me.

-You listen-- -Never underestimate anybody.

Nothing's ever easy.

-You listening? -No.

-You listening now? -Yes.

-Is this sexting? -HANNA: Gentlemen,

I have a client I'd prefer not to be alone with.

-Not safe? -Yeah, for him.

You know a Ronny Streppi?

-Douchey Dad? -Douchey Dad.

Yeah. In there.

Yeah, so I signed this waiver

so this reality show could film my life.

I must have been out of my mind.

At least they put you in a sweet pad.

You've seen it?

'Cause the only thing they wanna show is my gut.

I think they're all about making me look like a tool.

How did they make you look like a drunk?

Lighting your chest hair on fire in front of your kids?

Yeah. Yeah, that got out of control. Heh.

I'm not used to them Belgian beers.

Tell me about it. It's like 20-proof.

Made by monks, but monks who like to party.

Right. Right. Well, here's the deal.

Half of America knows me now as "The Douchey Dad,"

including my kids. They're embarrassed.

and they wanna avoid me.

So you guys gotta get me out of this contract.

And one of you two is joining my team.

Well, I would love to, but I'm defending Kirk Gibson's base--

Bash, welcome aboard. I'll have the files sent.

Okay? Thanks. Bye.

Wish I could, but--

You know why she asked you, right?

'Cause she's tossing you like a dead battery?

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Guys? I'm a real, live human being.

No, I mean I can hear what you're saying.

Yeah, yeah. I don't know

if it's client-attorney privilege, or whatever that is.

Good times.

[♪♪♪]

-Ahem. Gentlemen, a word? -Blow us.

We're busy saving Kirk Gibson's ball.

That's more than a word.

Yeah, but I like him. He gets extra.

Guys, seriously.

Something someone sent me

is now on the Infeld Daniels server.

Porn?

[SIGHS]

-It's complicated. -It's complicated porn?

Maybe we underestimated you. Why don't you let us look?

Look, I wanna be a judge someday.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

-No. -Yeah, you do.

And I don't want this to be a vetting issue.

I need it off.

-Dude, talk to IT. -I did.

Do you think that you two would be my first choice?

But if I use them, there's this process.

I need this to be outsourced.

Wow, must be bad.

A crazy fraternity brother.

[SIGHS]

We know one guy who might be able to help.

[♪♪♪]

I'm not sure if you read our motion for summary judgment.

We're actually pretty proud of it. Yeah.

BAYLES: I don't know if you've noticed --

Opposing counsel has not yet arrived.

Huh. You know, I hadn't noticed that.

I was too busy being respectful of the court's time

to even take a look at the tardiness of said counsel.

-But-- -PETER: Dude.

JARED: It was Cyndi Lauper who said respect--

Dude, I'm lawyering.

Dude.

Gentlemen.

Your Honor, may I have a moment?

Sure. Why not? I guess I've got all day.

I'm afraid to ask what happened to their first lawyer.

You got blood in your teeth.

I contacted Greg and Colin and offered my services.

They accepted.

So you went to work for a big firm, huh?

Thought you weren't gonna.

Well, it's a good fit.

After we're done,

I hope you don't regret that decision.

[♪♪♪]

Summary judgment just got a little tougher.

Who is that guy?

That's Leonard Franklin.

My father.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

JARED: Last time I guess, was, yeah, the holidays.

He reminded me where he went to law school

with Yale Christmas songs.

Unbelievable. You get a cool case

and Leonard the Impaler shows up.

Probably because I got a cool case.

You okay with this? If you need help--

No, I got it. No worries.

Jared, I heard you had an unplanned

family reunion in court.

Oh, yeah. Everything but the potato salad. It was fun.

Sorry. I wouldn't have put you on the case had I known.

Guys, I'm fine with this. My dad's a lawyer. I'm a lawyer.

-He's a lawyer who spanked you. -That's true.

Peter, would you mind if I had a word

with your partner in private?

Sure.

Listen, Jared,

there's something

that I want you to know.

I know. Leonard Franklin took on the second-biggest union.

Leonard Franklin rewrote search-and-seizure.

Leonard Franklin was in Wine Spectator twice.

-I got it. -Twice? That's absurd.

It doesn't matter.

To me, he's just the guy

who wouldn't let me watch Walker, Texas Ranger

because it made "a mockery of the law."

-Are you good to go with this? -Absolutely.

Hell, it might even satisfy a family-holiday obligation.

Alright. Good luck.

I don't need it.

[CHUCKLES]

[♪♪♪]

If my father was Leonard Franklin

and I was about to go up against him,

I'd be working right now.

If my father was Leonard Franklin,

I would be working for Leonard Franklin.

Did Jared ever get that chance?

Yeah, and he turned it down.

Imagine working for your father, side-by-side.

It is a dream come true.

Uh, maybe in Pindaristan.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

You really-- You should lock that door.

-Or at least close it. -They're not here.

-Yeah, I'm here for Pindar. -Oh. Really?

Yes, I believe Jared and Peter mentioned I needed your help.

Oh, you're the guy.

Yes. Because you are the expert in computer law.

Follow me, Mr. Karp.

I think I can help you with your problem.

We're gonna do some research. It was very nice to see you.

Carmen.

Hmm.

So every file leaves a bit count on the server.

I need a copy of the file. I need to open it.

There's no other way? Like control-alt-delete or--?

No, there's no other way.

[SIGHS]

I was afraid of this.

This is a contract.

It will pay you $5000

to remove the file from the server,

provided you adhere to a gag order--

which stipulates that if you ever discuss

the contents of this file, I'll...

just kill you.

What's on the file?

Sign.

Mm.

Sign it.

-Mm. -Sign it, Pindar.

Not a great sleeper. I have insomnia.

I did a sleep study. They hook you up to electrodes

and test your REM, sleep apnea, the whole deal.

I didn't know they were videoing me all night too.

I wanted the study to go well, so I relaxed myself.

Oh, you sing too?

No. I relaxed myself.

Relax.

I'm not gonna say it again.

I still don't know what-- I just got it.

They sent it to me and now it's on the Infeld/Daniels server.

-I need you to get it off. -It's not a big deal, Mr. Karp.

Occasionally when I can't relax, I also rough up the suspect...

till he orgasms.

Although, I don't always tape myself.

I'm afraid that if my mom finds it,

what's her reaction--

Find it. Destroy it.

Tell no one.

Good night.

[♪♪♪]

MAN: High fly ball to right field.

Oh! Ha, ha, ha.

-She is gone. -Oh, I still get goose bumps.

And I wish I could grow a 'stache like that.

I gotta be honest.

[CROWD CHEERING ON TV]

Oh! Now, see, the video

doesn't show who caught the ball.

It almost shows the awesomeness of that moment,

almost.

You love this ball, don't you, Greg?

Yes, I do.

Yes, you do. Because when Kirk Gibson

rocked this out of the park on that day,

this became more than a ball.

It became the beating heart of a people.

-Didn't it? -Absolutely.

I mean, look at their faces.

Look at their faces.

-They are moved. -Objection.

-Counsel is testifying. -Sustained.

They are moved because those fans,

and I include myself and my client,

believe that baseball is more than America's game.

It is our nation's unifying religion

and this ball, this ball,

it's our holy grail.

Reverend Franklin, is there a question?

[CHUCKLES]

I'm sorry, Your Honor. Guys like Greg and I,

we bleed red, white, and Dodger blue, right?

-Absolutely. -Absolutely.

Did the Dodgers get to the playoffs last year?

Uh--

-I don't know. -You don't know?

But you love America's pastime.

And the Dodgers.

And this ball.

What kind of man doesn't know whether his favorite team

made the playoffs last year?

[♪♪♪]

-That went well. -It did.

I mean, what just happened?

Well, we just successfully subpoenaed

all the reality company's footage of you.

We'll use it to prove

they've been depicting you out of context.

You know, bad stuff making you look bad is bad.

-It is bad. -Ronny, what are you doing, man?

Hey, I'm trying to get off your show, Lucian.

Yeah? How's that working out?

Come on. Show up for work. Your kids miss you.

' kids think I'm a jerk because of you.

I don't think it's thanks to me.

-Really? -Come on, big fella. Come on.

PETER: Come on. Let's go this way.

Driving home from the stadium,

who maintained control of the ball?

I did. I put it in my pocket.

They were fighting over it, like usual.

-You remember what you said? -Yeah, something like,

"When you stop fighting like a couple of nitwits

and grow up, I'll give you the ball back."

My clients have that exact same recollection.

Mr. Morrow, uh,

are your sons in fact now grown-up?

Well, uh...

-I guess. -No need to guess.

According to the great state of California,

being a grown-up starts at the age of 18,

for most people.

Objection. Argumentative. And lame.

Overruled.

It seems all three parties in this case

recall making a verbal contract.

Objection. Opposing counsel knows full well

verbal contracts don't really exist

between fathers and sons.

Case law shows that contracts with minors

are voidable only to protect the minor

and should such contract

inure to the benefit of the minor,

they are fully enforceable.

And I think opposing counsel needs to brush up

on Robert's Rules of courtroom decorum.

Really? Should I? Who's Robert?

Okay, counselors, approach the bench, please.

Gentlemen, are we really gonna do this?

Opposing counsel is implying a binding contract,

between a father and son,

even though I know he himself broke such a contract to his son

when he promised a BMX bike if he went to Latin camp

-when he was 9. -Relevance, Your Honor?

None.

If you wanna tell Daddy he didn't have any respect,

you'll just have to wait until you're on your third eggnog

like the rest of the world.

This is not therapy for you. This is court.

Now, you start acting like a lawyer

or you're done here.

-Understood? -Yes.

BAYLES: Proceed, please.

Ooh.

[♪♪♪]

What's with the books? Daddy making you do your homework?

I wanna beat him. He thinks I'm this legal clown.

So? Clowns can be badass.

Yeah. Pennywise from Stephen King's seminal It,

-terrifying. -Insane Clown Posse.

Krusty.

Huh? Come on. We'll help you kick Leonard's ass

with your big red clown shoe. What happened today?

My dad somehow turned Duncan trying to control his sons

from fighting in the back of a car

twenty years ago into a legal contract.

You couldn't kneecap that argument?

Uh...

I may have gotten a little emotional.

Come on. We all know family can make people crazy.

Hey, guys, this is the raw footage of Ronny

we subpoenaed from the reality show.

-Okay. Is this it? -It's 1300 hours.

They video-papered us. Go through it.

Try to find scenes that make Ronny look good.

I'd love to, but I'm busy. I'm working for Mr. Karp.

Oh, yeah. Big case.

Surprisingly big.

Hey, why can't you help?

I will, but I wanna help Jared first.

No, I'm good. I don't need help.

They're brothers. Find the pressure points.

[♪♪♪]

Hey, you got a sec? It's about your douchey dad.

-Yeah, I guess. -So Peter wanted me

to go through the reality footage and find clips of Ronny

that actually make him look good.

-They don't pay you enough. -Agreed.

So should the clips

show footage of kindness or competence?

-Seriously? -Yeah.

I'd settle for anything where he isn't a self-involved dolt

desperately milking his 15 minutes.

Okay. Not a fan.

I prefer stars with some talent

more than the ability to play

"The Star-Spangled Banner" with their armpit.

I get that. But I'd hate what people would think

if a reality crew was following me around 24-7.

I'm sure they wouldn't catch you

using your quasi-fame to score a free flat-screen.

I went through an awkward phase.

Not everybody can be perfect all the time.

Would you call the mood of the crowd of Game 1 electric?

Yeah, sure. Why not?

If that's the case, then why did you ask

to leave the game in the fifth inning

to go home to watch Full House?

That's not true. I wanted to stay.

My brother wanted to leave.

-Oh, that's bull-- -Excuse me.

Sorry.

Lucky you stayed, or you would have missed the home run.

It's your position that you both caught the ball

at the exact same moment.

How did you even do that?

It rolled around. We grabbed it at the same time.

Isn't it possible that you caught the ball first,

even by just a fraction of a second?

Uh, well--

That would be a "no," dickwad.

You know what? You speak out of turn one more time,

I'm holding you in contempt.

No. We definitely grabbed it at the same time.

I see.

And which one should have grabbed Shelley?

Excuse me? Shelley?

Really, Eileen?

COLIN: He didn't grab her.

He killed Shelley.

-WOMAN: Oh! -I didn't kill Shelley.

Shelley was his turtle.

Turtle? What could this possibly have to do with the case?

A little leeway?

Agreed. Your client should not have said "dickwad."

He is a dickwad. He let his turtle escape, blamed it on me.

-You ran it over! -Did not run it over.

Really? Turtle shells end up cracked on their own.

It's a male turtle. He names it "Shelley."

Uh, you checked for its little turtle weenie?

-LEONARD: Stop. -Order. Order. Shut up! Shut up!

Alright.

LEONARD: Calm down.

BAYLES: Go ahead, Mr. Franklin.

Uh...

You know, I'm sorry, Your Honor. I, uh--

You know, I don't like confrontation. Heh.

Sorry. I've lost my train of thought. Um...

Would you mind reading back the verbal agreement

opposing counsel made binding yesterday?

"When you stop fighting

like a couple of nitwits and grow up,

I'll give you the ball back."

How would you folks describe what those two--?

Your honor, I'd like this stricken.

My clients were manipulated.

Because they're nitwits, fighting ones,

which I believe has bearing on our verbal contract.

I'm gonna agree.

The jury is free to consider Mr. Morrow and Mr. Morrow

"fighting like nitwits."

[♪♪♪]

Well, of course

you can have your picture taken with the ball, Jared.

-That's going up on the wall. -Ha, ha. Okay.

Of course, my firm may want actual payment.

Oh. Heh, heh, heh.

-Would you excuse me? -Yeah, sure.

I'll get the car. Meet you at the corner.

-Alright. -Okay.

I think Duncan might be willing

to give ball-visitation rights to his sons.

No, thank you. My clients aren't interested.

Really?

Yeah. It's their ball.

See you in court tomorrow.

Hey, dad, you know what I'm gonna do tonight?

Cuddle with Kirk Gibson's home-run ball.

See, Mr. Morrow said that if we won,

I could take it for a while, and I think we just won.

-WOMAN: Hey. -MAN: Look out!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[♪♪♪]

Today is what my dad would call

perfect baseball weather.

'Cause for him it was always perfect baseball weather.

It was always a perfect day

to spend with friends and family at the ballpark.

My father liked everybody.

He was always there to listen.

I hope you don't blame yourself.

-For what? -For what happened.

I don't.

Good. It's like a Greek tragedy.

Oedipus, Antigone. It's all sort of inevitable.

What was inevitable?

That the boys get the baseball.

I'm the executor of the estate. It's up to the children to pick.

The majority of the children picked me.

He left them the ball?

-No. He died intestate, no will. -I know what it means.

You should know the ball is part of Duncan's estate,

which, without a will,

automatically goes to his children.

They'll have to sell it, divide the proceeds.

Listen,

you showed some promise in court.

Oh, a little discipline,

a little less sizzle, more steak,

you could be a real lawyer.

[IN RAISED VOICE] I won.

EILEEN: He wanted us to succeed in life.

It was good fun, son.

We'll do it again sometime.

There's no way I'm giving you that ball.

EILEEN: He never let success get in the way of our--

-Right. -GIRL: Do it again.

Some roadkill here.

Okay, so this makes you look good.

You dressed up as SpongeBob

to go trick-or-treating with the kids.

Yeah, and I painted that washing-machine box by myself.

Couldn't see and walked into my neighbor's cauldron.

That's all they showed on TV.

It made me look like a drunk.

Oh, so you're saying that you weren't?

That's not the point, right?

It was a great episode.

Wow, she scares me.

Don't look her in the eyes.

This was on Perez this morning.

Heh. "Ronny's Mystery Hottie."

You are out of your league on this one, buddy.

I know. That's the point.

Every week, they put me with a mystery hottie.

And they mock me because I'm not hot.

It's okay, except my kids see this.

I need my kids to respect me. I'm, like, their dad.

That's been blowing up on me all year.

So you got to do something about it.

You're a public figure.

I'm not misidentified. There's not much I can do.

[SIGHS] Wow. Well, better tell my kids.

Uh, in that shirt?

You're right. Someone told me I was an autumn and I argued.

I said, "I'm a spring." And now I got this on--

-No. You look good. -Are you serious?

Yeah.

I needed that. Thank you.

Excuse me, ma'am.

[♪♪♪]

JARED: You wanted to see me?

We're trying to find the baseball.

Okay.

-Do you know where it is? -I have no idea.

Really?

Yes, really. Stop looking at me

like I'm lying about denting your Jag.

-You did, it wasn't a dent. -It was an old Jag.

And moments before Mr. Morrow's demise,

you told me you were going to cuddle with the ball.

You know, I can say that and still sound cool.

BAYLESS: We also saw you with the ball in court.

If you don't release it, you will be held in contempt.

I don't have it.

This morning Jared said to me,

"No way I'm giving you that ball."

BAYLES: Is that true?

[SIGHS]

[ON SCREEN] Alright.

I think.

Oh, God. If I have to look at one more video

of Ronny in a mirror trying to find an ab,

I might kill somebody.

You can't afford the assault charge.

[PHONE RINGING]

Where's that waiver Ronny signed?

-Ah. Thank you. -This is Peter Bash.

Hey, Eileen.

I'll be right there.

Um, Jared needs my help.

We're due in court in a couple hours.

Burn the DVD. I don't think making a Ronny glamour reel

is gonna work.

[♪♪♪]

We're gonna try something else.

I mean, I'm sure your dad's proud of you, right?

Exactly. Why wouldn't he be?

You know, you're a good listener.

That's a quality you don't find in people.

and you have that.

I'm sure you have other skills.

-Hey. -JARED: Hey.

I'm sorry I didn't call right away.

I wanted to hang out with some scumbags who weren't lawyers.

Eileen told me your dad threw you in jail.

-Second time, actually. -That's right.

I think he's starting to like it.

She's got something to tell you.

Oh. Excuse me.

I know where the ball is.

Where?

With my father.

In heaven?

I buried him with it.

[♪♪♪]

He always said he wanted to be buried

with his wooden chest.

It held all the things he loved in it.

It had my mother's locket, their love letters,

the little silver fish they got together in Mexico.

Your Honor, there is only one clear course of action.

Do not say dig him up.

I would never say that.

I would say "exhume" or "disinter."

Oh, my God.

LEONARD: As executor of the estate,

I have a fiduciary responsibility

to secure its assets.

Really? Should we "exhume" his suit? His shoes?

If they had a value of half a million dollars,

I'd say yes. That ball is not safe in the ground.

I'm sorry. Is Mr. Franklin making a grave-robber argument?

-Unless this is Transylvania-- -I wish I was in Transylvania.

In Supreme Court decision

Dougherty v. Mercantile Trust, Justice stated:

"The dead are to rest where they have been lain."

Hmm. That is a sound, reasonable legal argument.

-Thanks. -But Dougherty goes on to say:

"Unless reason of substance is brought forward

for disturbing their repose."

BAYLES: Well, um...

[♪♪♪]

Dig him up.

PETER: Whoops.

I gotta get to court. Your dad's a dick.

Hey. That's my dad you're talking about.

[♪♪♪]

Ahem. Hanna, we're good?

-DVD's in the player? -Yeah, but--

Mr. Bash. Can we please light this candle?

Yes, Your Honor.

Ladies and gentlemen, Ronny Streppi has been presented

to this country as the "Douchey Dad."

We're gonna show you a different side.

RONNY [ON TV]: But it's still good.

Twelve-second rule.

Alright, guys, losing my drawers here.

Here you go.

Just like a good dad.

Get it all over. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There you go. Here you go.

That dog is smarter than those kids.

His son. Apple doesn't fall far from the moron tree.

This family gives White trash a bad name.

The dog's like, "Hey, get me out of here.

I'd rather live with a homeless guy. Ruff."

And her? Might as well put a tramp stamp on her right now.

How long till she twirls from a pole?

Put your head back and pinch it like this.

I've been in a few fights, alright?

I think we can agree Ronny became understandably agitated.

And assaulted me in court.

Hey, you're a moron, Ronny.

You got something gross on your nose.

You actually do.

You getting this?

But an entertaining moron who's gonna make me rich.

Our client just committed a felony in front of a judge.

I didn't go to a top-10 school, but that's bad.

Maybe not.

[♪♪♪]

And there it is.

You found the file.

Yes. If we make the server think it's corrupt,

it will be overwritten to protect the whole sector.

Awesome.

So just enter your access code and the file will be destroyed.

And your file is

[COMPUTER BEEPING]

That's unexpected.

What?

Infeld Daniels must have a very up-to-date IT Department.

I don't know what you're talking about.

What are you talking about, Pindar?

[COMPUTER BEEPING]

Cyclic redundancy check.

Basically, it protected the file

-by redundancy. -Redundancy to who?

To me? To you? To the rest of the firm?

Definitely to me and you.

But also a few circuit court judges.

This is not my fault. It's hard to keep up--

Just 'cause I'm Indian, you-- I'm more of a Mac guy.

This is what you do. You craft an e-mail to everybody

who got your masturbation video,

and you say, "My computer was hacked.

There's a virus on it.

Please don't open. Destroy this file."

There's one.

Why would--? That didn't fix anything.

[♪♪♪]

Look at that. The Williams family.

One, two, three generations all buried together.

There is a hell.

Don't be angry, Jared.

Seriously? You put me in jail.

I was performing my legal duty as an executor of an estate.

Keep telling yourself that.

Let me ask you,

why did you become a lawyer?

Are you kidding? Look around.

This is sexy.

LEONARD: Heh, heh. Always the jokes.

Aside from the opportunity for three more years of school,

I wanted to help people.

Not follow in the old man's footsteps?

Sorry.

Still, you're a lawyer.

Yeah, but for me, it's not about winning.

It's about getting the right wins.

And I guess beating the old man someday

-is one of those wins. -Yep.

It's amazing.

It took a damn baseball to get us to this.

It's Kirk Gibson's home-run ball, Dad.

It's huge. I should have been there to see him hit it,

but we had to leave in the seventh. Remember?

I never tell anybody that.

Sometimes leaving a game early is what good lawyers do.

So you can sneak away from Mom?

Go see your girlfriend?

I was 10. I wasn't an idiot.

No. You weren't.

Here it is.

Open it. I need to make sure the ball is inside.

Chain of custody.

What's that?

"To be opened in the event some bastard digs me up."

Oh, it's for you.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Why didn't you tell us about the envelope in the box?

I didn't know about it, Your Honor.

-JARED: That's his handwriting? -It is.

Alrighty. Let's see what it says.

"I, Duncan Morrow,

am the sole author of this document,

which, if you are reading, means someone dug me up.

Should any of my children have had a hand in that,

they forfeit alrights to my Kirk Gibson baseball,

which I hereby bequeath, first,

to any of my heirs who did not want to dig me up,

second to the baseball Hall of Fame,

third to the"-- It goes on and on,

but I think we have a winner.

[♪♪♪]

I'm sorry you had to spend a little time locked up.

Personally, I find it kind of centering.

I spoke to the judge. You're a first-time offender.

You'll get six months' probation.

-Why is that good? -Your network contract.

The morality clause. "The services of any contestant

charged with assault is immediately terminated."

Dude, you're off the show.

-No way. No way. -[LAUGHS]

Oh, my gosh. I get to see my kids. Okay.

-Oh. Is it Thursday? -It is.

I know a place that has free tacos for kids,

2-for-1 well drinks for daddy-o. Bye.

That was a very Franklin-and-Bash move.

Really? I'd say it was very Hanna,

but I don't name courtroom maneuvers after myself.

Then you have no future with Jared.

[HANNA CHUCKLES]

Jared.

So I'll see you in a few months?

Christmas? Um--

Um, you know, Dad, actually, I'm probably gonna stay--

No, I'm talking about appeal.

All of this is predicated on the ball

being a part of Duncan's estate.

But ownership of the ball is still in dispute.

You know, there are easier ways to see me.

Are there?

Probably not.

I think I just figured out why you're so tough on me.

Because I want you to do well?

No. Because I think deep down, whether you know it or not,

you want me to be better than you.

Boy's got potential, Stanton.

Why we hired him.

Yeah. Just try not to screw him up.

Well, if you couldn't do that with your bullshit, Leonard,

I suspect the lad's impervious.

See you, son.

You know my father?

Why didn't you tell me?

I was going to tell you at the courthouse the other day,

and then I saw you

ready to take on your father

with typical Jared Franklin aplomb

and I thought,

"Why burden you with this extraneous information?"

It's like when you're skiing down a glacier.

You know, you're not thinking of the crevasses.

When I was in Patagonia, for instance--

That's awesome. But just tell me,

did your relationship with my father

have anything to do with you hiring me?

No. I hired you because you and your partner

make a wonderful addition to my firm.

Oh, yeah. Your whole team. Real pros.

Oh, Mr. Karp. I got your e-mail.

Oh, just ignore that. I got hacked.

Well, I did set my spam filter for you.

Unless, of course, you were thinking of me.

[CHUCKLING]

What was all that about?

[♪♪♪]

I think she's crazy.

PETER: Infeld didn't tell you how he knew Leonard?

Nope.

-But there's history? -Yeah. For sure.

They definitely do not dig each other at all.

-Something happened. -Tsh.

What?

You drive on the wrong side of the road,

you put milk in your tea, you like colored money.

Say, "Well done, boys."

-Infeld boned my mom. -[LAUGHS]

-That's what you're going with? -I'm saying...

It was the '80s.

Your dad was fooling around. Your mom needed attention.

-I couldn't be there for her. -Ha, ha, ha.

-Let me ask you this. -Hmm?

Would you want Infeld to be your dad instead of Leonard?

Come on, I'm eating. Alright? We're here celebrating, okay?

-Let's change the station. -It was inappropriate. Sorry.

-This is a good day. -Thank you.

You get to have sex with Heidi Klum.

Okay, but?

Your mom has to have sex with Infeld.

-Man, thanks. -I gotta believe he is freaky.

-Yeah, that's true. Heh, heh. -Yeah. Yeah.

I call this the Peruvian swing bar.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Ooh, what a mixture ♪

♪ Such a vivid picture ♪

♪ Ooh, what a mixture ♪

♪ If I must say so myself ♪

♪ Oh, my, what a day Comin' at me anyway ♪

♪ Everything I try to say Just comes out backwards ♪

♪ Overthinkin', Underreachin' ♪

♪ Someone tells a joke, I'm blinkin' ♪

♪ Nothing's all That's sinkin' in ♪

KID: Hello.