All language subtitles for Erotic.Stories.S01E05.1080p.NowPlayer.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-CHDWEB_track5_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,160 -I'm not driving you. -Please. 2 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:29,520 I said no! 3 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,080 -Fine. I'm gonna miss English. -Ooh, you better not. 4 00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:35,520 I spend every waking hour paying for your f**king school fees. 5 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,280 And that's my fault, is it? 6 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:38,680 Obviously not. 7 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:41,760 Great. So if you're done blaming me for your decisions, 8 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,920 -you can drop me at the station. -Hey! Walk away from the car. 9 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:47,559 Alice, get your hands off the Corolla. 10 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,799 And pull your skirt down at the back. It's all hitched... 11 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,360 -Hey, Mia. -Hi, Sam. 12 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:11,320 No, no. 110%. Too easy. 13 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,440 -Thank you. -My pleasure. 14 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:14,360 Bye. 15 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:16,640 Sorry, it was the kid. 16 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,240 I don't wanna bore you with the details, but that little turd, 17 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:21,360 she was on fire this morning. 18 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:25,040 So what did he say? 19 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,160 Readership's down, they're haemorrhaging cash 20 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:29,040 and someone's definitely getting the arse. 21 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,440 -Oh, it's me, isn't it? -It's you... 22 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:34,919 or Stuart. 23 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,000 Can't you make him sit down? 24 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,640 You need to annihilate him. 25 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,400 -Oh, I can do that. -Yeah, but historically, you can't. 26 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,880 -Yes, I can. -Sam! 27 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:49,160 You're a better writer, you're a better human. 28 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:50,639 Nobody cares. 29 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:54,360 They want one piece from each of you. 30 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,000 Different advertorials. 31 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:57,800 A new-age float tank. 32 00:01:58,360 --> 00:01:59,680 Sex toy for couples. 33 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:03,120 -Oh, don't make me cry. -I'm giving you the first choice. 34 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:05,320 Do the float tank. 35 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,680 You can spin gold out of that in your sleep, you love a bath. 36 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,400 I'm not topping Stuart with a float tank. 37 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:13,799 Give us the sex toy. 38 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,280 Toys, plural. 39 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:21,600 Yeah, yeah, whatever. Whatever. 40 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:23,959 It's for couples. 41 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:26,560 -Don't f**k me. -Nah. 42 00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:28,440 Yeah. You can count on me. 43 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,720 -Hey, Stuart. Hi. -Hey. 44 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,240 Nice to see you. 45 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,079 Stuart. 46 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:42,240 George! 47 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:44,800 Hey. Hey. 48 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:47,880 Sorry. Sorry, I'm late. 49 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,360 I don't care. 50 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:50,800 Hang on just a sec. 51 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:55,720 Oh, yeah. 52 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,280 Oh, Leish wants you to bring the sweet potato salad. 53 00:02:58,360 --> 00:02:59,720 Yeah, no, she told me. 54 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,080 -Mate, I need a favour from you. -Can do. 55 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,760 I need you to masturbate into a machine for me. 56 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,480 Look, if it's any help, I'll also be wanking with a... 57 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:12,200 like a complimentary machine, 58 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,600 -same time. -How would that help? 59 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:16,800 And, uh, both devices, they're sort of connected to each other. 60 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,240 I mean, not physically. 61 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,360 They could be in different countries, that's a whole idea. 62 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,640 Oh, this is for work. Can't I just write you a cheque? 63 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,000 Oh, mate, you know I would take your money, 64 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,680 but this is more than a bailout, this is actually my future. 65 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,160 -Is it? Really? -Yes. 66 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:30,920 Yes. My job is on the line. 67 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:35,400 Look, if I had access to any other cock at all, I wouldn't be asking. 68 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,920 But I am getting less skilled by the hour. 69 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,680 I am knee-deep in middle-age oblivion. 70 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:41,240 And the truth is, I don't give a s**t. 71 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,760 I want to be invisible, but I also want to eat. 72 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,040 And I want to educate my kid and I don't want to be homeless. 73 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:48,320 OK. OK. 74 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:50,279 OK? 75 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,160 So... what I've gotta... 76 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,960 -... put myself into... -Yeah. It's just like a... 77 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,160 It's like a little fake vagina. 78 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:03,720 It's in the back of the car. 79 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:05,559 Thanks again, mate. 80 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,120 I owe you one. 81 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,120 That is a bloody big box. 82 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:17,600 Feel flattered. 83 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:19,320 Also, I'm on a 48-hour deadline. 84 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:22,080 Oh, mate, it's pretty busy the next couple of days, it's chock-a-block. 85 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:23,999 -I can't just... -What about right now? 86 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,600 -Yep. -Uh, I feel like I've already failed. 87 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:11,799 It... it looks like... a thermos. 88 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:14,280 Or a bit of PVC pipe. 89 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,400 -Actually, that makes more sense. -Yeah, I'm just gonna... 90 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:17,920 read the instructions. 91 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,040 You telling me you don't know how to turn on a vibrator? 92 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,520 Oh, mate, this is not your usual vibrator. 93 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,320 Maybe you should put that in your article. 94 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,720 Yeah. Why don't you write it? 95 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:27,879 I will. 96 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:31,400 Oh, here we go. 97 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,640 I've got an instructional video. 98 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:34,840 I'm gonna watch this. 99 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:39,880 Welcome to a brave new world of sexual indulgence 100 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,800 where physical distance is no longer a barrier 101 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,920 and modern technology meets old-fashioned romance. 102 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,640 Am I supposed to just put it straight into that, 103 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,280 without any lube or...? 104 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:51,040 ...adjustable clit arm. 105 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:55,040 Any user anywhere can control the vagina. 106 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,640 OK, well, I don't want to do that. I mean, who does? 107 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,360 Like, who are they talking to? Psychologically, I mean? 108 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:01,600 It's pretty reductive. 109 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,400 They clearly underestimate the complexity of male sexuality. 110 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:06,839 We've got to charge the f**king things. 111 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,440 I mean, seriously? 112 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,919 How hard is it to bang one out the old-fashioned way? 113 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,159 It's not that hard. 114 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,800 Well, that... that feels incredible. 115 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,480 Oh, f**k! Mine's moving! 116 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:28,999 Is yours moving? 117 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,000 Oh, yeah, it's doing something. 118 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:37,280 OK, well... 119 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,200 what do we do now? 120 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,240 -I'm just gonna go in. -What, no foreplay? 121 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,800 Yeah, well, mate, you just keep up. 122 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:47,879 OK, hang on. 123 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,120 Alright, can you feel anything? 124 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,520 Oh, yep! Oh, I really can. 125 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,920 Yeah? OK, I'm just going to, um... 126 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,720 have a little poke around. 127 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,000 If you feel something, you just tell me, yeah? 128 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:14,720 Oh, f**k! 129 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:17,000 -Wow. -Yeah, yeah! 130 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:18,640 Yeah. 131 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,240 Oh, my... God! 132 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,640 Are they, uh... are they happy sounds or...? 133 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,840 Yeah, yep, yeah... 134 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:26,880 Great. 135 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:30,440 OK, so I'm just gonna fire off a few questions as we go, 136 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,720 so I just get a sense of what the experience is for you. 137 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,800 But if it's too distracting, you just tell me 'cause I can... 138 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,320 I can save them all up for the end. 139 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:42,040 Oh, Sammy. So... Wait... Oh, my... 140 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,120 Oh, fu... Oh, can... 141 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,480 Oh, f**k. S... sorry. 142 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:48,400 Sorry. So... 143 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,120 Oh, f**k. 144 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,439 Sorry. 145 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:53,880 Did you just...? 146 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:57,040 Yep, I really did... Oh, God! 147 00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,919 Oh, you are f**king kidding me. 148 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:04,520 Oh, my God, I have not felt anything like that in my life. 149 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:07,040 That thing could end the human race. 150 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,560 Holy s**t! It felt that good. 151 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,000 Oh, f**k. So sorry. 152 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,840 -Oh, no. -Sorry. 153 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,040 It's fine. I'm happy for you. 154 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:19,320 Oh, thanks, mate. How'd you go? 155 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,040 You didn't even turn me on. 156 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,160 That's... embarrassing. 157 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:26,840 Oh, who am I gonna tell? 158 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:29,000 Um... mate, just give me... 159 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:30,920 Give me 40 to an hour to reload. 160 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,160 Ah, mate, it's not your actual d**k. 161 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:37,080 Oh, yeah? How good's that, eh? 162 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,360 Yeah. Yeah, that's really handy. 163 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,160 Oh, so I'm just, um... 164 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:42,800 I'm just hitting buttons, am I? 165 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:43,920 Yep. That's it. 166 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:46,640 What's that? What's that doing? 167 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:48,120 Nothing. 168 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,800 Oh. Uh... 169 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:51,640 How about now? 170 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:54,760 Um, nup. Nothing. 171 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:56,320 Now? 172 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:57,160 Nothing. 173 00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,960 -Ow! -Good ow? 174 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,400 No, that's painful ow. Ow! What are you doing? 175 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:03,680 Well, it's a bit confusing. 176 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,120 It's like they don't want you to understand. 177 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,200 Well, I managed to work it out. 178 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,440 Oh, f**k. Sorry. That's my alarm. Hang on. 179 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,200 -Oh, could you just turn it off? -Yeah, I'm trying. 180 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:19,479 It's Tom. 181 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,640 -I've gotta go pick him up. -Yeah. Yeah, of course. 182 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:25,920 But, hey, at least we know both machines work, yeah? 183 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,360 So... so job done. 184 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:28,720 I cannot write that review. 185 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,920 I cannot say, "The fake vagina works a treat. 186 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,640 My mate blew in five seconds, 187 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:34,800 but then he had to go and pick up his son 188 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:38,120 so we will never know if the fake d**k works." 189 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:39,200 Fair enough. 190 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:41,080 Oh, my God. 191 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:42,719 I'm running out of time. 192 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,920 OK. Midday tomorrow. 193 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,760 -Thank you. -Don't thank me yet. 194 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,640 Oh, jeez, it was easy getting into this thing. 195 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,160 It's proving a lot more difficult... 196 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:55,960 I'm, um... 197 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:57,920 -...to get back out. -I'm just going to let you go. 198 00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,639 Yeah, OK, I need both hands. 199 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,279 Wait, big boy. 200 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,200 -She's been in my room! -Oh, f**k off. 201 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,480 -Ella! -She had shoes on. 202 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:32,040 -Hey, pull your head in. -You are literally insane. 203 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:34,320 -It smells like dog poo. -She didn't go in there, mate. 204 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,520 -I swear to God. -Back and forth and back and forth! 205 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,320 Ella, why do you provoke him? 206 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,920 Tom. Tommy. Hey, Tommy. 207 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,560 Hey, look at me. Tommy, Look at me. 208 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,480 Mate, it was me. I'm sorry. 209 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:48,600 I went in there to drop off some clean clothes, and I got distracted. 210 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,000 I'm sorry, I forgot. I will... 211 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,160 I'll disinfect it straight after tea, OK? 212 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,399 OK. Four breaths in... 213 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:57,640 and out. 214 00:10:58,680 --> 00:10:59,640 And in 215 00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:01,720 and out. 216 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,680 Let's just have a nice dinner, OK? Come on. 217 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,440 Do you have to have your boobs out like that?! 218 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,800 -Well, they float, so... -Just put them away. 219 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:17,680 I... I genuinely, I can't. 220 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:20,600 You don't have to look at them so disgustedly. 221 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:21,960 This is really sad. 222 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:23,680 You're projecting your body shame onto me. 223 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,080 How? 224 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:27,000 I don't have time to educate you. 225 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:27,919 Where's dinner? 226 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,120 It's, uh, in the fridge. 227 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,639 -Is it leftovers? -Yeah. You know it is, baby. 228 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:08,560 Hey. 229 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:10,720 Hey, mate. Sorry. Sorry. 230 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,480 It's been one s**tstorm after the other. 231 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,000 I've just gotten home. 232 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,600 The boys went to the wrong site, the bloody concrete came late. 233 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:20,360 Just give me a couple of secs. 234 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,760 Is it just work s**tstorms or...? 235 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,200 Oh, it's pretty even spread. 236 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,400 We've hit another rough patch with Tom. 237 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,880 Oh, s**t. Is it new meds? 238 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:31,959 No. 239 00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,400 That's probably on the cards, though, yeah. 240 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,120 Well, how's Liesh? 241 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:39,919 Yeah, yeah. She's, um... 242 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:42,200 She's feeling it. 243 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:43,640 Yeah. 244 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:45,640 Well, give him my love. 245 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:46,920 Yeah. 246 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:48,799 Yeah, I will. 247 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:57,480 Do you... 248 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,479 reckon this is something that we should have run by Leish? 249 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,680 Um, maybe you could have put that on the table 250 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,160 before I came into a machine, but... 251 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:12,120 N-no. 252 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:16,320 I mean... No, no, it's OK. Yeah. No, it's... it's fine. 253 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:19,439 I've already done it anyway, so... 254 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,960 Yeah, OK. Well, um, great. 255 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:26,520 Alright, so I've read the instruction booklet, you know, 256 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,920 cover to cover, so I've really got a handle on it now. 257 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,920 -Was I supposed to read that? -In a perfect world, yeah. 258 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,040 But I didn't expect you to, so I'm gonna walk you through it. 259 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:36,600 Are you in yet? 260 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,600 No, I gotta... I gotta put the phone down. 261 00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:40,200 Oh, yeah. OK, so go on. 262 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:45,840 And when you're ready, we're just going to go back into your settings. 263 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:46,760 Yeah? 264 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:51,800 OK, I'm... I'm in. 265 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:54,400 Alright, great. Alright, so let's go... 266 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:55,760 -No, hang on. I'll get my phone. -Yeah. 267 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,200 OK, uh... I'm in settings. 268 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:00,360 Yep. 269 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:01,720 It's not lit up like before. 270 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:06,880 Why are you FaceTiming me? 271 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,800 Just answer it and show me your phone screen. 272 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,520 Are you... 273 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:14,080 in bed? 274 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:16,520 Yeah. 275 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:18,800 So, uh, show us your phone screen. 276 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:19,880 Uh, y-yep. 277 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:22,000 OK, um... 278 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:23,999 Oh, yeah, see where it says 'Bluetooth'? 279 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:24,760 Yeah. 280 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,600 Yeah, and that little white dot on the right? 281 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:27,840 That was green before. 282 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,800 F**k sake. Just... just push that. 283 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:30,560 Oh, yeah. 284 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:31,919 Oh, yeah. Green again. 285 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,120 Yeah, there you go. 286 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:36,560 Yeah. OK, let's get this party started. 287 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,320 Um, let's just, um... 288 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,760 -Let me just set the tone here. -Please. 289 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,880 Alright, so we're just going to take baby steps, alright? 290 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,440 And we're going to do it together. 291 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:46,520 -Say no more. -Oh, well, I will say more. 292 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,640 -I'll say more about the remote. -No, you probably should. 293 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:49,880 -Yeah. -About the remote. Yep. 294 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,360 So if you just think about it like it's... 295 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,480 it's just like a video game or it's... it's like a TV remote. 296 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:56,280 -Right. Right. -You know? 297 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:59,200 You can. Here you go. You can go up. 298 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:00,000 OK. 299 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:01,800 Mm. You can go down. 300 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:03,959 -Oh! -Or you can go left. 301 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,920 -Yep. -And you can go right. 302 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,439 -Just like driving a forklift. -Yep. 303 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,520 Oh, OK. 304 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:14,840 So... up. 305 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,600 Oh, hello. 306 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,400 OK. OK, that's doing something. 307 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,440 Good something? 308 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,760 -How about if I do this? -Ah... 309 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,959 -Is that better or...? -Yeah, that's not bad. 310 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,520 Alright, how about if I do this? 311 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,840 Oh, f**k. Um... 312 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,560 I'm just gonna... 313 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,520 I'm just gonna turn the camera off. 314 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:37,520 Oh, that good? 315 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,400 Yeah, I just don't want to see your come face. 316 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,080 I actually happen to look quite handsome. 317 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:42,560 Ha! No, you don't. 318 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:43,999 How do you know? Leish likes it. 319 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:45,560 She's lying. 320 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:49,080 Alright, how about some, uh, some role play? 321 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:50,360 The, um, the um... 322 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:53,080 the tale of the simple-minded gimp. 323 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,440 Is that's supposed to be Irish? 324 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,840 It's clearly Scottish. Oh. You have a go, then. 325 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,480 Oh... 326 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,120 -That's not gonna... -Oh... 327 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,160 -OK. Yep. -...happen. 328 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:04,760 Oh, my God. 329 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:05,960 OK. 330 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,999 Oh, Jesus. 331 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,760 Oh, f**k me! 332 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:12,960 Oh, my God. No wonder you came so quickly. 333 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,400 -Oh, oh, oh! Thank you. -Oh, f**k. 334 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,360 Oh, if you could just, um... 335 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:19,760 Oh, could you just turn me up? 336 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,200 Just... just... just a little? 337 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,960 Oh! Yep. Yeah. Yeah. 338 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:24,560 -Oh! -Oh, God. 339 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:27,560 Is it, um... 340 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,800 is it too weird if I, uh... 341 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,439 I want to see your face. 342 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:43,480 Oh, f**k. 343 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,120 -Oh. -Yeah, yeah. 344 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,480 Oh, I just... I am... 345 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,400 -Oh, f**k. I'm right behind you. -Oh. OK, slow it down. 346 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,600 Right there, right there, right there. Right there. Right there. 347 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,840 Could you just... 348 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,200 Oh, f**k. Turn me up! 349 00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:58,280 Yeah, yeah. 350 00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,520 Oh, God! 351 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,400 Oh! Oh! 352 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,240 -Oh! Oh! -Oh, Jesus. 353 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:04,520 Oh! 354 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,320 Oh, no. Wait, wait! Stop! Wait! 355 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,640 No, don't... F**k! Don't come... It's not what it looks like. 356 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,040 Jesus. What the f**k?! 357 00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:11,040 Oh, God. 358 00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:12,560 Oh, no. Oh, f**k. 359 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:13,800 Oh, God! 360 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,919 Oh, God! 361 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:32,880 S**t. 362 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:35,640 G'day. 363 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,240 This is George from Creek Custom Concrete. 364 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,479 Sorry, I can't come to the phone right now. Just leave a message. 365 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:46,600 God! 366 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:48,120 Why aren't you at school?! 367 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,280 Half day. 368 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:50,840 How long have you been here? 369 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,880 -Why are you out of breath? -I'm not out of breath. 370 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:56,520 Have you been shopping? 371 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:57,480 No. 372 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,520 I'm sorry. I'm on a deadline, so just... just order what you want. 373 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,160 I failed my philosophy exam. 374 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:03,200 What? 375 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,120 Oh, not the ethics one. Oh, bub. 376 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:09,000 Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. 377 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,080 What is that smell? 378 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,480 What smell? You smell like... 379 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,080 plastic or Play-Doh. 380 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,399 -Oh. -I'm getting sushi. 381 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:00,639 F**k. 382 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:37,240 -Oh, my God. You're making dinner? -Oh, no, it's just a salad. 383 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:41,000 We're supposed to be going to George and Leisha's tonight for dinner, 384 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,600 but, you know, if you've, um... 385 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,040 if you've got a lot on or if you're not feeling that well or... 386 00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,520 Why would you pull out this late and risk setting Tommy off? 387 00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:53,360 I'm just thinking about you. 388 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:54,520 I'm fine. 389 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,440 Really? 390 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,919 I mean... I'm OK. 391 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:04,160 Can I drive? 392 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,920 I screamed, yes. I thought we were gonna crash. 393 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,080 We had heaps of room. 394 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:09,880 I'll tell you one thing, you are not driving home. 395 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:10,960 Why? 396 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,960 -Why are you so jumpy? -I'm not jumpy! 397 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,080 -You are! Relax! -I'm not! I'm not! 398 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,040 Hello, ladies. 399 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,920 Hello, lady. 400 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,800 -How's school? -Ask her. 401 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:30,520 It's the single worst decision I have ever made. 402 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:34,359 Oh, come on. We both know you've made much worse calls than that. 403 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,680 Alice, do you want ice-cream? 404 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,240 Nope, she doesn't. 405 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:48,040 Actually, I'd love some. Thanks, Tommy. 406 00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:49,280 No worries. 407 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,360 Why are you being so nice to him? 408 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,280 I don't know. He's cute. 409 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:56,680 F**k's sake, don't tell him. 410 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:58,560 So... how's work? 411 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:02,119 Oh, you know, same s**t, different bucket. 412 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,400 They put me on advertorials. 413 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:08,800 More wine, ladies? 414 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:09,840 Yeah, it's pretty painful. 415 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,119 Yeah, just up to there. 416 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,200 But, you know, the last one, 417 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,839 very well received by the higher ups. 418 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,600 Only been out 24 hours 419 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:25,200 and already got more traffic than my last 12 articles combined. 420 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:26,360 So... 421 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,640 still got a job, which is, you know, nice. 422 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,199 Just going to get the wine that I left... 423 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,000 Are you going to keep this s**t up all night? 424 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,320 I am so... 425 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,080 What's he done now? 426 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:48,800 Actually, you know what? Don't tell me. 427 00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:53,200 Whatever it is, just go give him a spray and sort it out. 428 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,000 Please, for my sake. 429 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,880 That dinner was s**t, mate. 430 00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:59,599 The kids had better banter. 431 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:19,280 I don't know what to say. 432 00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,440 Don't say anything. 433 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:23,999 -I'm so sorry. -Just let's not... talk. 434 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:41,640 -I'm gonna talk. -I know you are. 435 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,080 I am so sorry that I made you do that. 436 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:45,440 You didn't make me do anything. 437 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:48,760 I just pulled out that homeless old lady card. 438 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:50,520 I mean, what sort of arsehole does that? 439 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:51,760 It was just that I was... 440 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,319 I was desperate, and I wasn't thinking straight and... 441 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,480 I just need you to tell me... 442 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:02,679 have I f**ked it? 443 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,439 'Cause I'd rather put Alice in care than lose you. 444 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:17,359 No-one would take Alice. 445 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,720 Leish caught me red-handed. 446 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:27,799 S**t. 447 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,560 She got... got a hell of a shock. 448 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:35,760 -Don't worry she didn't see you. -No, I wasn't thinking that. 449 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:37,160 -You f**king were. -Yeah, I know. I was. 450 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,280 Oh, God. Sorry. 451 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:41,360 Anyway, worked out pretty well. 452 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:42,559 How?! 453 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,080 Well, I told her that, um... 454 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,280 I was thinking about her the whole time 455 00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,319 and that I missed her and... 456 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,240 I don't know if it was out of 457 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:59,839 lust or pity or just plain confusion, but... 458 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,400 she hasn't f**ked me like that in years. 459 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,120 That's pretty beautiful. 460 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,079 Yeah. Yeah, it was. 461 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:24,960 I love you, mate. 462 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:28,880 Yeah, yeah. I love you too. 463 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:35,080 You do look pretty handsome when you come. 464 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:36,800 Do I? 465 00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:38,280 Nuh. 466 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,000 Not even a little bit. 467 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,720 -I closed my eyes when you came. -Ho! 468 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:49,840 You didn't even see it. 469 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:53,719 -It would've made your world shake. -There I was going back and... 32625

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.