Original subtitles

[THUNDER]

[BIRD CRIES]

[SPEAKING BANTU LANGUAGE]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

HEY, MUSCLE MAN, HOW ABOUT A HAND?

SHE'S TALKING TO YOU, JER.

YEAH, RIGHT.

BE RIGHT THERE, BABE.

EXCUSE ME. ARE YOU FOR WHITE WATER EXPEDITIONS?

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

WELCOME TO ZIMBABWE. I'M MAVUSO.

LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND.

OH, SURE. THANKS.

THE CAR'S THIS WAY. FOLLOW ME, PLEASE.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

GOOD AFTERNOON, MADAM.

WELCOME TO VICTORIA FALLS HOTEL.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

ONCE YOU'VE FRESHENED UP,

WE'LL TAKE YOU TO SEE THE FALLS.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING SO BEAUTIFUL?

YES.

"THY TEMPLE IS THE FACE OF DAY,

"EARTH, OCEAN, HEAVEN

THY BOUNDLESS THRONE."

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

LORD BYRON.

WHO'S HE, SOME ROCK STAR?

YOU KNOW BYRON?

CERTAINLY.

OH, MAN, 26 HOURS ON A PLANE,

TWO DAYS ON A TRAIN,

AND NOW I GOT TO WAKE UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN?

WHAT IS THIS, VACATION OR DEATH CAMP?

LAST NIGHT YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A GREAT IDEA.

WAS THAT BEFORE OR AFTER THE 25 KAMIKAZES?

[SPEAKING BANTU LANGUAGE]

MISSED AGAIN.

GOOD MORNING. BRIGHT AND SHINING, I SEE.

THIS IS RAY, YOUR GUIDE.

HI.

ANNE. NICE TO MEET YOU.

HI, RAY. I'M CARL.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

JERRY LANCE.

HA HA HA!

EXCUSE ME.

IT'S $220.20.

220, HUH?

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?

YOU'RE PUSHING YOUR LUCK, RAY.

KEEP IT UP, AND I'LL MAKE YOU WISH

YOU HAD NEVER GOT OUT OF KINSHASA.

RAY!

THERE ARE SOME ELEPHANTS RIGHT OVER THERE.

YOU'RE KIDDING. WHERE?

UP AHEAD THERE. A BABY ONE, YEAH.

THAT WOULD SLOW THINGS DOWN ON THE FREEWAY.

HA HA HA!

THIS IS AMAZING.

I WAS EXPECTING FOUR MEN.

YEAH, WELL, A FRIEND OF OURS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE COMING,

BUT HE HAD TO DROP OUT AT THE LAST MINUTE.

ANNE'S A FRIEND OF MINE.

SHE'S RAFTED BACK IN THE STATES.

A FRIEND OF YOURS? YOU GUYS ARE LIVING TOGETHER.

OUR TOOTHBRUSHES ARE LIVING TOGETHER.

THIS RIVER CAN BE PRETTY TOUGH.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT?

HEY, I CAN HANDLE ANYTHING THESE GUYS CAN HANDLE.

[SINGING IN BANTU LANGUAGE]

HEY, IT'S THE ROCK 'N' ROLL CARAVAN.

[SPEAKING BANTU LANGUAGE]

CHECK THAT DUDE OUT. YOU TALK ABOUT FULL DRAG.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

A RAFTER WAS KILLED ON THE RIVER.

KILLED?

THE VILLAGERS BELIEVE THE RIVER IS A LIVING THING,

SO THEY MUST SOOTHE ITS AGITATED SOUL.

DOUBT IT DOES ANY GOOD. THE RIVER'S STILL A BITCH AND A HALF.

I'M GOING TO GET A PICTURE.

LOOK AT THOSE TITS.

[HORN HONKS]

COME ON, LET'S GO.

THE BIG CROCODILES ONLY GET FED ONCE A MONTH.

ARE YOU KIDDING?

I'VE GOT TO EAT FIVE TIMES A DAY,

OR ELSE MY STOMACH STARTS TO DIGEST ITSELF.

HEY! HEY!

THE CROCS DOWN THE RIVER

SOMETIMES GO AS LONG AS A YEAR BETWEEN MEALS.

ON THE RIVER? NOT WHERE WE'RE GOING.

SURE. BY THEN THEY'RE REAL HUNGRY.

[SINGING IN BANTU LANGUAGE]

[LAUGHTER]

[SPEAKING BANTU LANGUAGE]

WHAT IS IT?

[SPEAKING BANTU LANGUAGE]

NYAME-NYAME.

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HER. WHAT--

SHE'S TALKING ABOUT THE SMOKE THAT THUNDERS,

MOSI-OA-TUNYA.

THAT'S WHAT WE CALL THE RIVER.

OH. WHAT'S SHE SAY ABOUT IT?

SHE SAYS THERE'S A DANGER.

I SUPPOSE SHE'S AFRAID BECAUSE YOU'RE A WOMAN.

OH, WELL, I'LL BE FINE. NO. THANK YOU. I'LL BE FINE.

KEEP YOUR LIFE JACKETS BUCKLED AT ALL TIMES

WHILE YOU'RE IN THE RAFT.

NOW, SHOULD SOMEONE FALL IN--

SOMEBODY USUALLY DOES--

ROLL ONTO YOUR BACK AND POINT YOUR FEET DOWNSTREAM.

THE THREE OF US HAVE RUN QUITE A FEW RIVERS BACK IN THE STATES.

HE'S THE ONLY BEGINNER.

NOW, IF THE RAFT DOES FLIP,

STAY WITH IT AND TRY TO CLIMB ON TOP.

IF YOU DO GET SEPARATED FROM THE RAFT,

SWIM TO SHORE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.

THERE'S CROCODILES OUT HERE IN THE POOLS BETWEEN THE RAPIDS,

AND THEY CAN GET PRETTY NASTY.

ONCE YOU GET TO SHORE, STAY WHERE YOU ARE.

WE'RE GOING TO BE PASSING THROUGH SOME VERY WILD COUNTRY,

UNFRIENDLY AT TIMES,

AND YOUR BEST CHANCE OF SURVIVAL IS RIGHT HERE ON THE RIVER.

SURVIVAL? WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT?

RELAX, MAN.

IT'S JUST THE RAP, LIKE DISNEYLAND, YOU KNOW?

NOW, I WANT YOU TO FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS AT ALL TIMES,

OTHERWISE, SERIOUS TROUBLE CAN RESULT.

YOU KNOW, COULD I INTERJECT SOMETHING HERE?

I'M NOT TOO HIP TO SERIOUS TROUBLE.

SERIOUS PARTYING, ABSOLUTELY.

SERIOUS TROUBLE, I DON'T THINK SO.

HOW MANY CLASS-FIVE RAPIDS WE GOING TO HIT?

CLASS-FIVE?

YEAH.

WELL, ON THIS RIVER,

THAT CLASS-FIVE SHIT DOESN'T COUNT.

YOU EITHER MAKE IT OR YOU DON'T.

THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT.

AND YOUR CLIENTS USUALLY MAKE IT, RIGHT, RAYMOND?

LET'S LOAD UP.

I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES.

WAIT A MINUTE. I WANT TO GET A SHOT BEFORE WE GO.

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

EVERYBODY GATHER AROUND. COME ON.

COME ON, LUKE, QUIT POWER-LOUNGING.

OK. MAVUSO, OVER THERE. COME ON.

RAY, YOU'RE IN THIS, TOO.

NO, I DON'T GO FOR THAT STUFF.

COME ON, RAY, WE GOT TO GET A SHOT

OF OUR FEARLESS GUIDE FOR POSTERITY.

COME ON.

ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.

COME ON. COME ON. QUICK!

HURRY UP. HURRY UP.

OK. EVERYBODY SAY "SEX."

[CLICK]

OH, RAY, YOU MOVED. NOW I'VE GOT TO DO IT AGAIN.

WHAT DO YOU SEE, AN ANIMAL?

A COUPLE OF THEM.

GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. I GOT A JOB TO DO.

WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS TOO MANY TIMES, RAY.

I'VE BEEN REAL PATIENT WITH YOU, BUT THAT'S OVER NOW.

GREAT. THEN MAYBE I WON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT YOUR UGLY ASS ANYMORE.

I DON'T THINK I LIKE THIS.

THIS IS A GREAT WAY TO START A VACATION.

A THRILL A MINUTE.

DON'T PUSH ME.

I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO GET TOUGH.

YOU DON'T SCARE ME, VON HOENIGEN.

YOU NEVER DID, AND YOU NEVER WILL.

TAKE IT EASY, RAY. THIS ISN'T HELPING ANYTHING.

SHUT UP. LET ME TAKE CARE OF THIS.

WE TALKED ABOUT THIS. YOU SAID--

I KNOW. I CHANGED MY MIND, OK?

THEN YOU FIND YOURSELF ANOTHER MAN.

I'M SORRY. I WON'T BE JOINING YOU. ENJOY THE RIDE.

HOW COME?

I WON'T BE NEEDING HIM ANYWAY.

ONCE WE'RE ON THE RIVER,

IT'LL ALL BE FORGOTTEN, WON'T IT?

WHO WERE THOSE GUYS?

THEY'RE NOBODIES.

YOU KNOW, I'D WORRY ABOUT

LEAVING YOUR TRUCK THERE IF I WERE YOU.

YOU AIN'T ME.

HA HA!

WELL, WE'RE ON OUR WAY, GUYS.

SAY GOOD-BYE TO CIVILIZATION.

SEVEN DAYS WITH NO MTV?

THERE'S THE LAST TRAIL OUT.

120 MILES TILL THE NEXT ONE.

ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS FIRST RAPID.

WE CALL IT LUCKY SEVEN. SOMETIMES IT'S NOT SO LUCKY.

FIRST WE DRIFT DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS QUARTER

WITH THE BACK END OF THE BOAT TOWARDS ZIMBABWE.

WE'RE GOING TO SWIVEL AROUND AND BACK IN BEHIND INDICATOR ROCK,

PULLING BACK TOWARDS ZAMBIA.

WE'RE GOING TO SHOOT DOWN TO THE MIDDLE OF THE GREEN HIGHWAY.

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BIG BURST OF WATER COMING IN ON US.

WHOA!

WHOA!

YEAH!

WHOA!

WOO!

THAT'S LUCKY SEVEN!

WOO! ALL RIGHT!

YEAH! WOO!

THAT MAKES THE COLORADO LOOK LIKE A CREEK.

HA HA HA!

LOOK, A PETROGLYPH.

OH.

THAT'S NYAME-NYAME, ZAMBEZI RIVER GUIDE,

HAND-CARVED BY THE MATABELE TRIBE

HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO.

WHAT WAS THAT?

ZAM DOLLAR FOR THE RIVER GUIDE.

WHEN THEY BUILT THE KARIBA DAM,

LOCALS SAY IT SEPARATED NYAME-NYAME FROM HIS WIFE.

HE'S BUSTED THE DAM TWO TIMES SO FAR.

IT PAYS TO BE ON HIS GOOD SIDE.

HOW ROMANTIC. HE FEELS SUCH PASSION FOR HIS WIFE.

YEAH, IF YOU BELIEVE THAT KIND OF SHIT.

HA HA HA!

"WHERE'ER WE TREAD 'TIS HAUNTED, HOLY GROUND;

"NO EARTH OF THINE IS LOST IN VULGAR MOULD,

"BUT ONE VAST REALM OF WONDER SPREADS AROUND,

AND ALL THE MUSE'S TALES SEEM TRULY TOLD..."

NERD POLICE! YOU ARE BUSTED!

WE'RE TOO FAR AWAY. CAN WE GO BACK?

I'D RATHER NOT.

WHY NOT?

GHOST RIDER'S RIGHT AHEAD UP HERE.

WHY CAN'T WE GO BACK? IT'LL JUST TAKE A COUPLE OF MINUTES.

I'LL TELL YOU WHY NOT.

BECAUSE THE INSCRUTABLE DUDE OF THE WILDERNESS SAYS WE CAN'T.

HA HA HA HA!

WOO!

WHOA!

WOO! YEAH!

GET OVER! GET OVER!

GET OFF ME!

GET OFF ME!

KEEP ROWING.

GET OFF ON THE ROCKS AND PULL US IN.

YOU DAMN FOOL. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?

I'M SORRY, RAY. I'M SORRY.

I GOT A MIND TO THRASH YOU AND SMEAR YOUR FAT FUCKING ASS

ALL OVER THIS RIVER LIKE JELLO.

HEY, CALM DOWN, RAY. HE JUST LOST HIS BALANCE. THAT'S ALL.

WHAT'S THE MATTER? DON'T YOU GET IT?

WE ALMOST GOT WASTED BACK THERE.

YEAH? WELL, THERE'S WAYS OF DEALING WITH IT

WITHOUT FLYING OFF THE HANDLE.

YOU KNOW, WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.

LOOK, I'M SORRY, RAY. IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

I'M JUST CLUMSY. THAT'S ALL.

HEY, IT WAS JUST A MISTAKE, RAY.

THAT TEMPER OF YOURS IS A HELL OF A LOT MORE DANGEROUS

THAN ANYTHING HE DID.

WELL, I GOT HIS ATTENTION, DIDN'T I?

THIS IS LIKE SLAVE LABOR, CARL.

I FEEL LIKE I'M ON A CHAIN GANG.

THIS IS WORK, JERRY, REMEMBER?

THAT THING YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO

FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

AND WHAT IS THIS STUFF ABOUT KICKING MY FAT ASS

ALL OVER THE RIVER LIKE JELLO?

THIS GUY IS LUCKY WE NEED HIM.

OTHERWISE, I WOULD KICK HIS BUTT.

WHEN YOU GET DONE KICKING HIS BUTT,

PUT THESE IN THE OTHER SIDE FOR ME, WILL YOU?

OH, NOW YOU, TOO. GREAT. IT'S A CONSPIRACY.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

ABOUT WHAT?

RAY BACK THERE IN THE RAPIDS.

HE'S A STRANGE GUY.

I GUESS IT GOES WITH THE TERRITORY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

CHOOSING TO LIVE OUT HERE, APART FROM SOCIETY.

IMAGINE WHAT HE'D DO IF SOMEBODY REAR-ENDED HIM ON THE FREEWAY.

I'M NOT SO SURE HE ISN'T RIGHT, THOUGH.

ABOUT WHAT?

THINK OF ALL THE HASSLES WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH.

I'LL BET YOU HE DOESN'T EVEN FILE AN INCOME TAX RETURN.

RAY WOULD MAKE AN INTERESTING CHARACTER IN ONE OF YOUR BOOKS.

YEAH, HE WOULD.

EARTHY AND POWERFUL.

KIND OF AN ANIMALISTIC MAGNETISM

LIKE, UH, BUTEAU IN ZOLA'S LA TERRE.

YEAH.

WHAT WERE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT UP THERE, ANYWAY?

WHO?

YOU AND LUKE.

NOTHING. WE WERE JUST TALKING.

HEY, KIDS, WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

LOBSTER THERMIDOR. HMM.

OH, MY GOD. CROCODILE.

WHAT?

CROCODILE!

OH, JERRY!

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

WHAT A BOZO.

UH! UH!

SEE? HE DOES THIS SHIT ALL THE TIME.

[YELLING]

DID YOU READ THIS THING? UH-UH.

LISTEN TO THIS.

"AFTER A THRILLING DAY

"ON THE WILD AND UNTAMED ZAMBEZI RIVER,

"YOU'LL SETTLE DOWN IN FRONT OF A BLAZING CAMPFIRE.

"FOLLOWING A HEARTY--" THANK YOU--

"AND DELICIOUS MEAL,

"AND AN EVENING OF GOOD COMPANIONSHIP"?

THAT'S GOT TO BE A MISPRINT.

"YOU'LL BE READY FOR A RESTFUL SLEEP

"BENEATH THE MYRIAD OF STARS THAT TWINKLE ABOVE

ONE OF THE LARGEST AREAS OF UNTRACKED WILDERNESS IN AFRICA."

DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING IN THERE ABOUT A COLD CASE OF BREWSKIS

AND A COUPLE OF FRENCH STEWARDESSES, DOES IT?

YOU KNOW, RAY, I ENVY YOU THIS LIFE,

OUT IN THE OPEN, BREATHING CLEAN AIR,

PLENTY OF EXERCISE.

WOULDN'T BE HARD TO GIVE UP THE LAW

FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

YEAH? WHAT'S STOPPING YOU?

MY CAREER.

I GOT RESPONSIBILITIES.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

GOT YOUR LIFE ALL MAPPED OUT, DO YOU?

NO, NOT REALLY.

TOO MANY THINGS I'M INTERESTED IN JUST TO NARROW IT DOWN.

CAN'T MAKE UP YOUR MIND?

WELL, I'VE GOT A DEGREE IN OCEANOGRAPHY,

BUT I REALLY LIKE PHOTOJOURNALISM,

AND I LIKE ANTHROPOLOGY, PRIMITIVE ART.

THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS.

[JERRY] HEY, THIS IS PRETTY GOOD CHOWSKI.

YOU'RE A GOOD CHEF, RAY.

OF COURSE, THAT'S COMING FROM A GUY

WHO THINKS YOU FIND VELVEETA IN THE GOURMET SECTION

OF A SUPERMARKET.

DON'T YOU?

NO.

A LAWYER, HUH?

THAT'S RIGHT.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT RUNNING SOMEBODY OUT OF BUSINESS?

WELL, I'D NEED A LITTLE MORE INFORMATION.

LIKE WHAT?

LIKE WHO YOU WANT TO PUT OUT OF BUSINESS.

IT'S NOT ME. IT'S THIS OTHER GUY.

SON OF A BITCH IS TRYING TO RUN ME OFF THE RIVER.

HOW ABOUT THE LOCAL AUTHORITIES? CAN'T THEY HELP YOU OUT?

NO, HE'S GOT TOO MANY FRIENDS.

I WAS THE FIRST MAN ON THIS RIVER.

NOW THEY'RE TRYING TO TAKE MY BUSINESS.

DON'T SEEM RIGHT.

I DON'T KNOW THIS COUNTRY'S BUSINESS LAWS,

BUT UNLESS HE'S GOT SOME SORT OF EXCLUSIVE LICENSE

TO OPERATE ON THE RIVER,

ANY INTERFERENCE FROM HIM

COULD LEAVE HIM OPEN TO LITIGATION.

IN OTHER WORDS, RAY, YOU CAN SUE HIS ASS.

SO YOU'RE SAYING I NEED A JUDGE TO TELL ME WHO'S RIGHT?

THAT'S WHAT THE LEGAL SYSTEM'S FOR.

I ALREADY KNOW WHO'S RIGHT.

HEY, THIS FOOD'S REAL GOOD, RAY.

YEAH, INTERESTING FLAVOR.

WHAT IS THIS MEAT?

I RECOGNIZE THIS. IT'S A POTATO.

NO, SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS THIS MEAT?

LET ME GUESS. GAZELLE? KUDU?

HIPPO.

HIPPO.

TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.

YEAH?

IT'S CROC.

CROCODILE. FLAT DOG.

HMM.

WELL, IT'S GOOD, RAY. I CAN'T DENY THAT.

BUT I THINK TOMORROW WE COULD ALL GO FOR

A NICE T-BONE STEAK WITH SAUTEED MUSHROOMS.

YEAH. BAKED POTATO ACTION. SOME SOUR CREAM.

YEAH. SOME PRAWNS, MAN. PRAWNS.

SHH, SHH, SHH,

SHH, SHH.

MUST BE AN ANIMAL.

IF IT'S ANYTHING BIGGER THAN A COCKROACH,

I'M DEFINITELY OUT OF MY ELEMENT.

THE BROCHURE SAYS BABOONS, WILDEBEEST, IMPALA...

GOD, I'D LOVE TO SEE A LION.

YEAH, ME, TOO. ON TV.

NO. ANIMALS WON'T ATTACK YOU UNLESS THEY'RE PROVOKED

OR HUNGRY.

HEY, DIDN'T THAT GUY AT THE HOTEL

SAY THAT SOMEBODY SAW A WHOLE PRIDE OF THEM AROUND HERE?

YEAH.

NO SHIT?

NO. THEY MAULED SOME GUY.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

YEAH, LIKE THREE DAYS AGO.

THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT OF HIM.

YEAH, JUST HIS GREEN SWEAT SHIRT.

THAT'S NOT FUNNY. THAT IS NOT FUNNY.

THAT YOU, RAY?

MORE STEW?

JESUS!

NO, THANKS.

NO. ME NEITHER.

NO, I'M FINE. THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

SO WHAT DID YOU SEE OUT THERE?

WELL, WHATEVER'S OUT THERE'S GOT TROUBLE

IF IT TRIES MESSING WITH OLD RIVER RAT RAY.

RIVER RAT RAY.

[MEN LAUGHING]

HI, HONEY.

HI.

SORRY. UH, JUST A LITTLE MALE BONDING.

YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.

SURE. NO PROBLEM.

SO, ARE YOU GLAD YOU CAME?

OF COURSE.

ARE YOU GLAD I CAME?

YEAH. SURE I'M GLAD.

BUT YOU'D LIKE IT BETTER IF IT WAS JUST THE BOYS.

NO! NO, NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT.

GOOD NIGHT.

[SIGH]

GOD, IT'S AMAZING.

LOOKING UP AT THE STARS

AND SEEING THEIR CONSTELLATIONS UPSIDE-DOWN LIKE THAT.

WE'RE IN AFRICA, BUDDY.

YOU KNOW, FOR TWO PEOPLE THAT ARE HUMPING LIKE YARD DOGS,

THEY'RE NOT MAKING MUCH NOISE.

MAYBE THEY'RE NOT HUMPING.

JESUS CHRIST!

WHAT CENTURY ARE YOU LIVING IN, BUD?

YOU KNOW, JERRY, SOMETIMES TWO PEOPLE

COULD HAVE SOME FORM OF COMMUNICATION

THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE GENITALIA.

UH-HUH. YOU KNOW WE'RE TALKING ABOUT CARL IN THERE.

BWANA DICK.

THE GUY'S GOT A DICK LIKE A HARLEY-DAVIDSON.

YOU GOT TO KICK IT TO START IT!

SHH! THEY'RE GOING TO HEAR YOU.

GOOD. MAYBE SHE'LL COME OUT AND SERVICE US, TOO, HUH?

JESUS, JERRY!

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE ALL THE CLASS OF A BABOON.

AT LEAST I'M NOT TURNING INTO AN OLD MAID.

WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU, MAN?

IS THE PRESENCE OF A FEMALE OUT HERE IN THE WILDERNESS

STIRRING YOUR LOINS WITH A LUST

YOU'RE MISTAKING AS LOVE?

I'M GOING TO TURN IN, BABE.

I THINK I'M GOING TO SLEEP OUT HERE TONIGHT.

YEAH. WELL, YOU WANT TO BE PREY

TO A LOWER LIFE FORM, FINE.

ME, I AM GOING TO OCCUPY A HIGHER NOTCH

IN THE FOOD CHAIN.

GOOD NIGHT, BUD.

GOOD NIGHT.

[AIR LEAKS OUT]

COME ON, GET UP!

GOOD MORNING! LET'S GET UP!

MMM. OH!

UH, I TAKE MY EGGS OVER EASY,

LOTS OF BACON

AND, UH, IF YOU COULD JUST

PUT SOME VODKA IN THE ORANGE JUICE, RAY,

IT WOULD BE GREAT.

GOT SOME CROC FRITTERS THIS MORNING FOR YOU.

SOUNDS LIKE THE RIVER RAT'S IN A GOOD MOOD TODAY.

CROC FRITTERS! HOW REVOLTING!

WHERE YOU FROM, RAY?

FROM?

YEAH. WHAT'S YOUR BACKGROUND?

HOW'S A GUY LIKE YOU WIND UP OUT HERE?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH OUT HERE?

NOTHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S GREAT.

I WAS JUST CURIOUS.

I'M FROM IDAHO.

I ENDED UP OUT HERE

BECAUSE IT'S ONE OF THE LAST PLACES

A MAN CAN BE A MAN.

DO MORE KICKING OUT HERE THAN GETTING KICKED.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR FOLKS?

WHAT ABOUT THEM?

THEY STILL LIVE IN IDAHO?

I GUESS SO, IF THEY AIN'T DEAD YET.

INTERESTING DUDE.

AW, FUCK ME!

FUCK!

JESUS! WHAT HAPPENED?

DEAD MEAT, MAN!

WHO DID IT?

THEY'RE FUCKING DEAD MEAT, BOY!

CAN YOU FIX IT?

YEAH, I CAN FIX IT.

IT'LL TAKE TWO FUCKING HOURS!

HEY, CARL, HOW ABOUT LETTING

THE POWER RAFTER HAVE A TURN, HUH?

SURE.

ALL RIGHT.

NOW WE'LL MAKE SOME TIME.

YEAH, RIGHT.

YEAH!

HEY, HEY, HEY,

HEY.

HEY, CUT IT OUT, WILL YOU, MAN?

SORRY, BUD. IT'S JUST AN ACCIDENT.

JEEZ!

[SPLASH]

WILL YOU CUT IT OUT?

LOOK, IF YOU WANT THIS TRIP TO TAKE TWO WEEKS,

JUST KEEP SCREWING AROUND, ALL RIGHT?

I GUESS I MISSED THE SMALL PRINT

ABOUT THIS BEING A ROMAN SLAVE GALLEY.

YOU MISSED MORE THAN THAT.

HEY, GUYS, MAYBE RAY WANTS TO WATER SKI, HUH?

MAYBE RAY WANTS YOU TO TAKE THIS RIVER

A LITTLE MORE SERIOUS.

MAYBE RAY SHOULD LEARN TO MELLOW OUT A LITTLE.

HEY, GUYS, LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THAT ROCK IS OVER THERE.

SHH!

WHAT'S WRONG? WHAT IS IT?

SHUT UP!

OH, YEAH. RIGHT.

WE'VE GOT TO, UH, BE QUIET FOR THIS ROCK.

[COCKS RIFLE]

WHAT IS IT?

IT'S A HIPPO.

A HIPPOPOTAMUS?

I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP.

NOW, IF IT'S A BULL AND IT MISTAKES US

FOR ANOTHER HIPPO, IT'S GOING TO DESTROY THE RAFT.

HOLY SHIT! WHERE'S MY HIPPO REPELLENT?

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

I GUESS WE GOT LUCKY.

KEEP ROWING.

HEY, THAT'S AN A.K.-47.

SO?

WHERE DID YOU GET IT?

PREVIOUS LINE OF WORK.

YOU'RE KIDDING. WERE YOU A SOLDIER OF FORTUNE?

NO. I WAS JUST A SOLDIER.

SOME OTHER GUY MADE THE FORTUNE.

HEY, RAY, WHEN'S THE NEXT PIT STOP?

KHAMI RUINS.

RUINS? OUT HERE?

YEAH. I READ ABOUT THOSE.

NOBODY KNOWS WHO BUILT THEM.

SOME ARCHAEOLOGISTS THINK THAT THE REMAINS

ARE FROM THE OLDEST CIVILIZATION IN AFRICA.

HOW FAR UP AHEAD ARE THEY?

NOT FAR.

I HOPE SO, PAL,

BECAUSE I'M ABOUT READY TO DROP A LOAD

IN THE BOTTOM OF THIS BOAT.

WATCH OUT FOR SNAKES!

SNAKES?

SHIT.

HA HA HA!

OK, OK! THIS IS FINE! THIS IS FINE! THIS IS FINE!

OOOH! COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!

AHHH!

OOH! HOLY SHIT!

HOLY SHIT!

OH, GOD!

OH, SHIT!

GOD! GOD! GOD, OH GOD!

SHIT! OH!

SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!

OH, GOD! THERE IS THIS FUCKING HUGE GUY UP THERE

WITH A HUGE FUCKING GUN!

HE'S LIKE 9 FEET TALL! I'M NOT KIDDING!

HE'S LIKE THE CHROME DOME FREAK OF THE UNIVERSE!

JERRY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I AM TALKING ABOUT MARVIN HAGLER'S UGLY BROTHER UP THERE

WHO JUST SCARED THE SHIT OUT ME!

HEY, HEY! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE NAKED PREY?

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE NAKED PREY?

I WOULD NOT LAST FIVE FUCKING MINUTES

RUNNING AROUND BUCK NAKED

WITH THESE HOWLING WARRIORS THROWING SPEARS AT MY ASS!

AH, JESUS CHRIST!

I'LL TELL YOU.

THE FUN NEVER STOPS AROUND HERE, DOES IT?

I KNEW WE SHOULD HAVE GONE TO RAGING WATERS.

AH, YOU'RE HALLUCINATING.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS BECOMING EXTREMELY UNFUN.

I HOPE RAY DOESN'T SHOOT ANYBODY.

I HOPE NOBODY SHOOTS HIM.

I WONDER WHAT WE'D DO DOWN HERE

IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO OUR GUIDE.

OH, YEAH. I GUESS WE'D HAVE TO TAKE THE RAFT

AND HEAD DOWNRIVER OURSELVES.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, JER?

WE WOULD BE IN DEEP SHIT, YOU GUYS.

IT'S THEM GOD DAMN TROUBLEMAKERS

WHO ARE IN DEEP SHIT.

I HOPE YOU FOLKS WEREN'T THINKING OF DOING NOTHING STUPID.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

DON'T YOU EVERY TRY NOTHING ON ME, YOU HEAR THAT?

BECAUSE YOU ARE DEAD ON THAT RIVER WITHOUT RAY.

UNDERSTAND ME? DEAD!

WE WEREN'T GOING TO LEAVE YOU.

WE WERE JUST WONDERING WHAT WE'D DO

IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO YOU, THAT'S ALL.

NOTHING'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME,

BUT ONE DUMB MOVE, ONE STUPID ROOKIE MOVE FROM ANY OF YOU,

AND WE ALL BOUGHT THE FARM. YOU GOT THAT?

DO YOU MIND REPEATING THAT?

YOU, SHUT UP. I HEARD ENOUGH OF YOUR DUMB CRACKS.

OH, RELAX. HE'S JUST HAVING A LITTLE FUN.

YEAH? WELL, THE FUN'S OVER.

NOW GET IN THE RAFT.

SON OF A BITCH!

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

SOMETIMES A MAN HAS TO TAKE THE LAW INTO HIS OWN HANDS.

THAT'S JUST GREAT.

WHAT IF EVERYBODY FELT THAT WAY? WHERE WOULD WE BE?

ANNE, I DON'T THINK THIS IS THE TIME OR THE PLACE--

CARL, HE'S TALKING ABOUT ANARCHY.

WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT ANARCHY?

YOU KNOW THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOVERNMENT AND PEOPLE?

THE GOVERNMENT'S GOT GUNS, AND THEY'RE WILLING TO USE THEM.

THAT'S THE ONLY GOD DAMN DIFFERENCE.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS!

OH, IS IT? WHAT'S THE GOVERNMENT EVER DONE

FOR YOU THAT'S SO WONDERFUL?

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

WE'VE GOT TO HAVE GOVERNMENT TO MAINTAIN ORDER.

ANNE, COOL IT.

WELL, I'M THE GOVERNMENT NOW, HONEYBUNCH.

NOW, I WANT YOU GUYS TO ROW DOWNRIVER,

AND I'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU LATER.

LOOK, RAY.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST EXPLAIN WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT?

LOOK, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

I'M GOING TO GET THESE FUCKING BASTARDS BEFORE THEY GET US.

NOW, JUST START ROWING.

THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME OTHER WAY TO HANDLE THIS.

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, MAN!

CAN'T YOU JUST SHUT UP AND TAKE A GOD DAMN ORDER?

NOW, PLEASE, JUST START ROWING.

CHRIST, ANNE!

I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHERE YOU GET OFF

TRYING TO DEBATE POLITICS WITH A GUY WHO'S LIKE A WALKING ARSENAL.

I'M SORRY, CARL, BUT WE'VE GOT TO STAND UP

FOR WHAT WE BELIEVE IN.

YEAH, WELL, THERE'S A TIME AND A PLACE.

WHAT IS THIS "I'M THE GOVERNMENT NOW" BULLSHIT?

LOOK, DON'T YOU THINK THERE'S A CHANCE

WE'RE JUST BLOWING THIS THING

A LITTLE BIT OUT OF PROPORTION?

[ANNE] YEAH. FRANKLY, I THINK HE'S JUST PUTTING ON

A BIG MACHO HERO ACT FOR US.

WELL, IF YOU ASK ME,

HE PROBABLY RESENTS THE HELL OUT OF US.

WE REPRESENT A WHOLE WAY OF LIFE THAT'S OUT OF HIS REACH.

HEY, GUYS,

THERE ARE SOME MONSTER RAPIDS UP AHEAD.

WHAT'S IT SAY?

THAT'S DEEP THROAT.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO HAVE SOME BIG HOLES.

WAIT. THERE'S A PORTAGE MARKED HERE.

I VOTE TO PORTAGE.

SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.

WHAT ABOUT RAY?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING BACK THERE, JERRY?

I SAID LIFT.

I AM LIFTING, GOD DAMN IT!

OH! UH!

YOU'RE GETTING RUSTY.

YOU'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE, RAY.

YOU WERE ON THE WRONG SIDE IN KINSHASA.

YOU'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE NOW.

YOU'RE ALWAYS ON THE WRONG FUCKING SIDE.

YOU THINK SO, DO YOU?

[GUNSHOT]

[BIRD CRIES]

WHAT IF THEY KILLED RAY?

OH, HOLY SHIT!

THEY DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS

IN THE GOD DAMN BROCHURE.

LISTEN. WE GOT TO DO SOMETHING DECISIVE.

WE COULD BE NEXT.

I THINK WE SHOULD GET DOWNRIVER AS FAST AS WE CAN.

NO. WE'D BE SITTING DUCKS ON THE RIVER.

HEY!

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STAY PUT.

NO, YOU DIDN'T. YOU TOLD US TO HEAD DOWNRIVER.

OH, YEAH?

WHAT HAPPENED?

GOT ME A TROPHY.

THAT'S THE LAST TIME HE FUCKS WITH ME!

OH, MY GOD!

HEE HEE HEE!

JESUS CHRIST.

[RAYS CONTINUES TO LAUGH]

WRONG SIDE! SHIT, MAN!

I WASN'T ON THE WRONG SIDE IN KINSHASA.

I WAS ON THE RIGHT SIDE!

I WAS, MAN!

JUST BECAUSE ALL THE LOWLIFE SCUM AND THE PARASITES

JUMPED TO THE OTHER SIDE ONCE THE FUCKING GOING GOT ROUGH!

THAT MAKES ME WRONG?

WELL, WHO'S FUCKING WRONG NOW, VON HOENIGEN?

HUH?

HUH?

WE DIDN'T DO SO BAD IN THAT WAR.

HELL, WE CAME IN SECOND.

RIGHT?

HEY, VON HOENIGEN!

CAME IN FUCKING SECOND,

AND THAT'S NOT SO FUCKING BAD!

WHO'S RIGHT NOW, VON HOENIGEN?

HA HA HA!

DON'T YOU GET IT?

COME ON, COME ON!

LET'S GET THIS SHIT UNLOADED.

HURRY UP, TUBBY.

[AIRPLANE]

HEY!

HEY! DOWN HERE!

HELP!

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

I'M CALLING FOR HELP. THEY COULD BE AFTER US.

I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP. I JUST KILLED A MAN. YOU GOT THAT?

YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF.

YOU DID IT IN SELF-DEFENSE.

YEAH, WHO'S GOING TO BELIEVE ME?

THEY'LL BELIEVE ME. I'M AN ATTORNEY.

WELL, I DON'T NEED YOU TO SAVE MY ASS.

ARE YOU OK?

LET'S START UNPACKING.

HURRY UP! LET'S MOVE IT!

Ok.

Ok, ok, ok.

I FEEL A LOT SAFER.

LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE.

"SEVEN GLORIOUS, ACTION-PACKED DAYS

"ON THE MIGHTY ZAMBEZI.

"WITH YOUR OWN HIGHLY SKILLED GUIDE

TO ENSURE YOUR SAFETY AND ENJOYMENT."

JESUS.

WHAT DID WE GET OURSELVES INTO?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I DON'T WANT NO GOD DAMN SECRETS. YOU HEAR ME?

DON'T WORRY.

I'M NOT WORRIED.

ANYBODY OUGHT TO WORRY, IT'S YOU GUYS.

I'M OK.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

I'M GOING TO THE BATHROOM.

DO YOU MIND?

WHOEVER PUT IT IN YOUR HEAD IT WAS SELF-DEFENSE?

WHAT?

SELF-DEFENSE. THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID.

YOU SAID YOU'D SWEAR TO IT.

WELL, YEAH. YEAH, OF COURSE.

I MEAN, IT WAS SELF-DEFENSE, WASN'T IT?

HELL, NO. IT WAS JUSTICE.

BUT YOU'RE A LAWYER.

YOU WOULDN'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THAT, WOULD YOU?

HMM.

LUKE, WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD DO?

I DON'T KNOW.

WE HAVE TO GET DOWNRIVER.

EASIER SAID THAN DONE.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, CARL?

HMM?

I'M SCARED.

YEAH, WELL, AT LEAST, WE GOT HIM OUTNUMBERED THREE TO ONE.

YEAH. A LOT OF GOOD THAT'S GOING TO DO US.

HE'S ARMED TO THE TEETH,

AND THE MOST LETHAL WEAPON I'VE GOT

IS MY SWISS ARMY KNIFE.

AND JERRY'S CATCHING Zs LIKE NOTHING'S HAPPENING.

LOOK, I'M GOING TO GO SEE HOW ANNE IS.

ANNE.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SCREAM, ARE YOU?

HUH? THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WANTING ALL ALONG, ISN'T IT?

I SEE YOU LOOKING AT ME SMILING,

GIVING ME THOSE PRETTY LITTLE EYES.

YEAH.

DOES THAT FEEL GOOD?

OH, YEAH.

YEAH, YOU ACT SO TOUGH.

YOU KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU

JUST SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT?

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. COME ON. YEAH.

YOU LIKE THAT?

COME ON, STUD. GIVE ME ALL YOU GOT.

OH, YOU LIKE THAT?

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO ME,

JUST CALM DOWN, ALL RIGHT?

YOU'RE SO STRONG. YOU'RE A REAL MAN.

OH, YEAH?

OH, A REAL MAN.

OH, GOOD. YOU LIKE THAT?

OH, GO AHEAD. GIVE ME ALL YOU GOT. THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU'VE BEEN WANTING THIS, HAVEN'T YOU?

OH, YEAH. OH, YES.

GO AHEAD.

GO AHEAD.

OH, YES.

[MOANING]

YES.

OH, MAKE ME WEEP.

OH, YEAH.

ANNE!

CARL! HELP ME!

YOU WANT ME TO SHOW YOU HOW TO FUCK YOUR GIRLFRIEND?

CARL! PLEASE!

HUH?

CARL!

I'LL SHOW YOU HOW YOU FUCK HER!

PLEASE!

GO ON, MAN!

I FUCKING HOPE YOU DO.

CARL.

I FUCKING HOPE YOU DO.

NO!

HELP, PLEASE!

HELP ME.

AAH!

[GRUNTING]

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! YEAH!

OOOH!

SHHH! IT'S ME.

CARL AND ANNE ARE OUT THERE, AND SO IS RAY.

OH, LUKE, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

LOOK, COME ON! WE GOT TO FIND OUT

WHAT'S HAPPENING OUT THERE.

ALL RIGHT.

[LAUGHTER]

WHOOO!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

GAVE THAT LITTLE BITCH THE RIDE OF HER LIFE!

WHAT?

STAY PUT.

GOING SOMEPLACE?

GO LIE DOWN.

GO ON.

PUT YOUR HEAD DOWN.

YOU, TOO, FATTY.

AH, THAT'S GOOD.

GOOD BOYS.

ANNE...

I KNOW THERE'S NOTHING...

SHIT! THE BITCH WANTED IT.

SHE KEPT LOOKING AT ME.

A MAN CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH OF THAT

BEFORE HE DOES WHAT HE'S SUPPOSED TO DO.

YOU KNOW?

WELL, GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.

YOU OK?

[CRYING]

Hey.

Hey, Luke.

You're up, man.

Ok. All right.

LUKE.

HMM?

WAKE UP, BUDDY. LUKE.

HMM.

OOH. HAS HE GONE TO SLEEP YET?

NO.

WHERE IS HE?

HE'S DOWN BY THE RIVER.

HOW DO YOU GET THIS MAP OUT OF HERE?

Shh! Shh!

I AIN'T TAKING NO SHIT, YOU HEAR?

[MACHINE GUN FIRES]

FROM NOW ON, WHAT I SAY GOES.

FIRST THING WE'RE GOING TO DO IS,

WE'RE GOING TO HIDE ALL THE GEAR,

AND WE'RE GONNA TAKE UP POSITIONS ALONG THE RIVERBANK.

ANYBODY SEES OR HEARS ANYTHING...

YOU TELL ME ABOUT IT.

ANY QUESTIONS?

YES. I THOUGHT WE WERE--

NO! YOU DON'T DO NO THINKING!

YOU GOT THAT, LAWYER?

I'M THE ONE DOING THE THINKING.

WHAT'S THE POINT OF STAYING HERE?

I GOT TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO YOU FUCKING IDIOTS?

WHAT, YOU WANT ME TO WRITE IT OUT IN LONGHAND, DO YOU? HUH?

GET YOUR FUCKING ASSES IN GEAR!

LET'S FUCKING GO! COME ON!

ARE YOU GUYS CRAZY?

RAY IS GOING TO WIG OUT IF HE SEES US HERE TOGETHER.

ONE OF US HAS GOT TO MAKE A RUN FOR IT.

OH, THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S A GOOD PLAN.

THERE'S GOT TO BE 1,000 PHONE BOOTHS AROUND HERE, GUYS.

LOOK, THERE'S GOT TO BE A ROAD OUT THERE SOMEWHERE.

YEAH, RIGHT.

GOD DAMN IT! WOULD YOU GET SERIOUS?

YOU DON'T WANT ME TO GET SERIOUS, MAN,

'CAUSE IF I GET SERIOUS,

I AM GOING TO START SCREAMING.

AND IF I START SCREAMING,

I AM NOT GOING TO STOP FOR WEEKS.

WE GOT TO GO FOR IT, JERRY.

IT'S OUR ONLY CHANCE.

WE FIGURE THAT THE BEST TIME TO GO

IS TOMORROW MORNING BEFORE DAYBREAK.

WE'LL DRAW STRAWS TO SEE WHO GOES.

WELL, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN LUCKY.

TWO OUT OF THREE,

IT'LL BE ONE OF YOU GUYS, RIGHT?

NOPE.

SHIT!

AW! ISN'T THIS PRETTY? HUH?

YOU SCUMBAGS AIN'T GOIN' NOWHERE.

I THINK IT'S TIME YOU LEARNED SOME HARD LESSONS.

OH!

OOH!

OHH.

OH, GOD, DON'T!

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, MAN?

DON'T YOU KNOW WE'RE ON YOUR SIDE?

NOBODY'S EVER ON MY SIDE BUT ME, ASSHOLE!

AND DON'T YOU EVER SHOW RAY A CLENCHED FIST AGAIN.

YOU HEAR ME?

WHEN RAY SEES A CLENCHED FIST AND IT AIN'T HIS OWN,

SOMEONE USUALLY DIES. YOU GOT THAT, PERRY MASON?

YOU BASTARD! UHH!

UHH! UHH!

I LIKE YOUR SPUNK, MISTER.

DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT DEEP SHIT

YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELF INTO?

I KNOW THE EXACT DEPTH OF MY SHIT, PUNK.

HUAHH!

I LOVE WATCHING YOU SQUIRM, YOU KNOW?

YOU SQUIRM BETTER THAN YOUR LITTLE TWAT GIRLFRIEND.

NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

I DON'T WANT TO CATCH THE THREE OF YOU TOGETHER AGAIN.

GET OUT OF HERE!

YOU TOO, YOU FAT FUCK!

GO ON! GET OUT OF HERE!

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[CHUCKLING]

♪ YOU DON'T FUCK WITH THE RIVER RAT ♪

HEH HEH HEH.

HEY. WHAT TIME IS IT?

ABOUT THAT TIME.

UHH!

WELL, THE FIRST PHONE BOOTH I HIT,

I'LL DIAL 911.

THEY SAY THE AVERAGE RESPONSE TIME

IS UNDER SEVEN MINUTES.

JER, I'M GOING.

WHAT?

MAKES MORE SENSE.

I GOT A BETTER CHANCE OF MAKING IT.

WELL, I'D TRY TO TALK YOU OUT OF IT,

BUT I CAN SEE YOU'VE MADE UP YOUR MIND.

BESIDES, I'D PROBABLY CRACK UNDER THE PRESSURE

AND DIAL 922 BY MISTAKE.

LISTEN...

COULD YOU TELL HER...

WELL, JUST TELL HER.

SURE, PAL.

HEY, DON'T WORRY.

I'M GOING TO MAKE IT.

I KNOW YOU WILL.

SHIT.

MMM.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

YOU THINK I'M A MONSTER OR SOMETHING, DON'T YOU?

YOU THINK I'M A REAL SON OF A BITCH.

WELL, I NEVER WANTED ANY OF THIS TO HAPPEN.

I NEVER WANTED TO HURT ANYBODY.

I HAD TO.

THAT'S ALL.

I WAS KIND OF FORCED INTO IT.

THIS WAS MY LAST CHANCE,

MY LAST CHANCE TO MAKE SOMETHING OF MYSELF,

AND THEY FUCKED ME.

THEY FUCKED ME!

I WAS THE FIRST ONE ON THIS RIVER.

I WAS THE FIRST ONE TO MAKE A GO OF IT,

AND NOW THEY'RE TRYING TO GET RID OF ME.

THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE TRYING TO DO.

THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL ME.

FUCK.

SON OF A BITCH!

ANY OF YOU FUCKING MOVE FROM HERE,

YOU'RE DEAD!

YOU HEAR THAT? YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD!

COME ON! LET'S GO!

GO WHERE?

WHO KNOWS HOW MUCH TIME WE HAVE?

WE'LL TAKE THE RAFT, AND WE'LL HEAD DOWNRIVER.

ARE YOU CRAZY? WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S DOWN THERE!

WE'LL TAKE OUR CHANCES.

BUT, LUKE, WHAT IF CARL COMES BACK AND FINDS WE'RE GONE?

HE'LL FIGURE WE WENT DOWNRIVER.

LOOK, WE HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE!

I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING.

ANNE, THERE'S NO CHANCE THAT HE'D LEAVE A WEAPON BEHIND.

I WISH I'D KILLED THAT BASTARD.

NO! WE'RE BETTER THAN THAT.

ARE WE?

LET'S GO.

WAIT! HOLD ON!

UHH.

UHH!

STAY RIGHT.

OHH!

OH!

PULL OVER THERE! PULL OVER THERE!

PULL OVER TO THE RIGHT!

SLOW DOWN! JUST GET OVER THERE!

WE'RE GOING TO FLIP!

WHAT? WHAT?

OH!

AAH!

[GUNFIRE]

UHH!

[GUNFIRE]

[YELLING]

[COUGHING AND CHOKING]

A FLAT DOG'S A DEAD DOG!

[GUNFIRE]

WHAT HAPPENED, COUNSELOR?

OOH!

[CHUCKLING]

[COUGH]

HAH!

OHH!

NO! UHH!

ASSHOLE!

BASTARDS!

HEY! OVER HERE!

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STAY PUT.

YOU DISOBEYED A DIRECT ORDER!

OH, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT US TO DO, JUST SIT THERE LIKE FOOLS?

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I EXPECTED YOU TO DO,

SIT THERE LIKE THE DAMN FOOLS THAT YOU ARE!

WE HAD TO LEAVE. THOSE GUYS WERE AFTER US.

WHAT?

NO, IT'S TRUE.

THOSE GUYS WE SAW BEFORE COMING ACROSS THE RIVER,

THEY ALMOST SURPRISED US.

WHERE'S YOUR IDIOT FRIEND?

HE'S OUT THERE IN THE RIVER SOMEWHERE.

SHIT!

[COUGH COUGH]

OH, NO!

[COUGHING]

JESUS!

OH!

OH, GOD! OH.

GET HIM OUT OF THE WATER.

HE--HELP!

HE--

HELP!

Help...

please.

[GURGLING]

HOW MANY OF THEM WERE THERE?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THEM PSYCHOPATHS THAT WERE AFTER US.

HOW MANY OF THEM DID YOU SEE?

I DON'T KNOW.

IT WAS HARD TO TELL.

YEAH, I HOPE THERE'S A WHOLE BUNCH OF THEM, BOY.

BE A GOD DAMN PLEASURE TAKING OUT THEM SCUMBAGS.

LISTEN. WE'VE GOT TO GET CARL TO A DOCTOR.

HE'S DYING.

WE'RE NOT GOING NOWHERE.

GOD DAMN IT! HELP US GET HIM INTO A RAFT!

WE GOT TO GET HIM DOWNRIVER!

YOU ORDERING ME, SHIT? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOING?

NO, I AM NOT ORDERING YOU. I'M BEGGING YOU.

PLEASE. WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING FOR HIM,

AND WE'VE GOT TO DO IT FAST.

YOU WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING FOR HIM?

OK...

I'LL DO SOMETHING FOR HIM.

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO KILL ME FIRST.

OH, ARE YOU CRAZY, UH?

YOU'RE CRAZY!

YOU WANT TO DIE?

NO, I DON'T WANT TO DIE, NOT IF I HAVE A CHOICE.

[CHUCKLES]

UGH!

OH!

UH!

OHH...

YOU FUCKING COWARD!

GUESS THIS IS YOUR LUCKY DAY,

MR. LAW-AND-ORDER.

WE CAN USE THE EXTRA WEIGHT IN THE RAFT.

GET HIM IN THERE.

WHAT ABOUT JERRY? WE CAN'T LEAVE WITHOUT HIM.

HEH HEH!

WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?

I DIDN'T DO NOTHING TO HIM. THE RIVER DONE IT.

NOW, COME ON. GET MOVING!

OH, NO.

HEY!

WHAT'S WRONG NOW?

NOTHING'S WRONG.

I WAS JUST THINKING MAYBE I SHOULD GET RID OF YOU LOSERS

AND HEAD INLAND.

DEVIL'S ODDS IS UP AHEAD HERE.

DEVIL'S ODDS?

BAD-ASS RAPIDS, BOY.

NO ONE'S EVER RUN THEM AND LIVED.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY--

"AIN'T NO WAY OF WINNING

WHEN YOU'RE GAMBLING WITH THE DEVIL'S ODDS."

HEH HEH!

LOOK. MAYBE WE CAN HELP YOU.

WE COULD SAY THAT WE SAW THE WHOLE THING,

THAT IT WAS THEIR FAULT.

YOU SEE WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT YOU ARE?

WHAT?

YOU'D FUCKING LIE TO SAVE YOUR ASS.

THAT'S NO WAY FOR A MAN TO LIVE.

AND WHAT ABOUT YOU?

WHAT GIVES YOU THE IDEA YOU'RE ANY BETTER THAN US?

GUNS? KNIVES?

THIS IS THE REAL WORLD OUT HERE, BITCH.

THERE AIN'T NO COPS.

THERE AIN'T NO RICH BOYFRIENDS.

THERE AIN'T NO CREDIT CARDS.

[MOANS MOCKINGLY]

[GUNSHOT]

GIVE IT UP, RAY.

WE HAVE FIVE ARMED MEN HIDDEN IN THE ROCKS.

OK.

DON'T SHOOT.

I KNOW WHEN I'M BEAT. I GIVE UP.

DROP THE AK.

OK.

ALL RIGHT?

KEEP IT COOL, RAY.

DON'T FUCK UP.

OK.

YOO!

TAKE OFF YOUR JACKET.

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER, BUDDY.

LET'S START RUNNING.

RUN? WHERE?

DOWN THE RIVER BY THE SHORE.

NO! THEY'LL KILL HIM!

AW, WOULDN'T THAT BE TOO BAD?

YOU RATHER HAVE ME SHOOT HIM?

MOVE IT, MAN!

OK. AS SOON AS I DO HIM,

YOU HEAD THAT WAY, I'LL GO THIS WAY.

RAY. DON'T.

IT'S HIM OR US.

JUST DO WHAT I SAY, AND DON'T GIVE ME ANY SHIT ABOUT IT!

RUN! NOW!

JESUS CHRIST!

[GUNSHOT]

[GUNFIRE CONTINUES]

UH!

OH, GOD. MAVUSO.

THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL US.

NO.

IT'S RAY THEY'RE AFTER.

BUT RAY SAID THAT IT WAS THEM OR US.

NO. HE'S LYING, LUKE.

RAY STARTED ALL THIS.

HE WANTS THE RIVER ALL TO HIMSELF.

[GUNFIRE]

WOO!

HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO!

MAVUSO...

TAKE IT.

WHA--

TAKE IT, AND GO AWAY. I'LL BE FINE.

BUT--

GO.

IT WON'T--COME ON. IT WON'T BE LONG NOW.

WE'RE GOING TO GET YOU SOME HELP.

OK?

I GUESS I--

I GUESS I-- I BLEW IT, DIDN'T I?

NO, YOU DIDN'T BLOW IT.

NO.

SORRY.

CARL?

CARL!

[FOOTSTEPS]

CARL, NO!

[CRYING]

OH, NO, LUKE!

OH, GOD!

OH, GOD.

No.

HEY, FOLKS. WHAT'S HAPPENING?

HOW YOU DOING?

ALL RIGHT, FUCKER.

NOW I'M THE GOVERNMENT.

DON'T SHOOT, MAN. I'M UNARMED.

LOSE THE BELT.

LUKE, KILL HIM.

[CLANG]

KILL HIM.

NO!

WE'RE NOT LIKE HIM.

NOW GET IN THE RAFT. WE'RE HEADING DOWNRIVER.

MOVE IT!

WHO'S TRYING TO RUN WHO OFF THE RIVER, HUH, RAY?

HUH? WHO STARTED ALL THIS, RAY?

IT'S MY RIVER.

IT'S MY RIVER.

YOU LYING SON OF A BITCH!

LUKE, LOOK AHEAD.

UH!

JESUS! DEVIL'S ODDS!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT THE HELL YOU TRYING TO DO?

"IF THOU REGRETT'ST THY YOUTH, WHY LIVE?

"SEEK OUT... A SOLDIER'S GRAVE,

FOR THEE THE BEST..."

LUKE! KILL HIM!

"THEN LOOK AROUND..."

"AND THEN CHOOSE THY GROUND..."

"AND TAKE THY REST."

KILL HIM!

TAKE THEE THY REST.

LUKE!

KILL HIM!

TAKE ME!

AH!

AH!

OH!

OH!

[COUGHING]

[COUGHING AND CHOKING]

UH!

LUKE! LUKE!

OH!

OH!

UH!

[COUGHING]

OH, MY GOD. WHAT HAPPENED?

I WENT RIGHT OVER THE ROCKS.

WHEN WE FLIPPED ON THE ROCKS,

I LOST HOLD OF CARL.

THEN I WENT UNDER.

DID YOU SEE HIM?

I SAW HIM GET WASHED DOWN BY A WHIRLPOOL.

WHERE'S RAY?

HE...HE HIT THE ROCKS WORSE THAN I DID.

YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!

NO!

WE'LL DIE TOGETHER!

NO!

UH!

NOW WE'RE JUST LIKE YOU.

LUKE! ANNE!

I WAS AFRAID YOU'D LEAVE BEFORE I HAD A CHANCE TO SAY GOOD-BYE.

THANKS, MAVUSO.

I'M SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS.

[WHISTLE]